F A T
by KrzyKid247
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha has always been the fat kid, the one that no one paid any attention to, who was constantly teased. He was the joke of the school. But that will all soon change when he meets a guy at this party. A hot one. NaruSasu.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Another story out. Yeah. -_-' I couldn't help it. I just couldn't ignore the potential of this idea. This story has places to go, and it's going here. :D I hope you all like it. :)

**Summary:**

Sasuke Uchiha has always been the fat kid, the one that no one paid any attention to, who was constantly teased. He was the joke of the school. But that will all soon change when he meets a guy at this party. A hot one. NaruSasu.

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>I hated parties. I hated the people who came to them. I hated the mind-numbing techno everyone danced and grinded to. I hated the atmosphere, the stupidity, the impulsiveness, the stupid, giggling drunks that passed me by. Everything. I hated everything about it. I, Sasuke Uchiha, was not a party person. But, my best friend, Shikamaru Nara, was, which was surprising to me, because the boy looked like a lazy ass who could care less for these types of things. I guess his girlfriend, Ino Yamanaka, got him all into it. It was strange. He couldn't get enough of these parties and he constantly dragged me along with them. Said they needed a designated driver. I accepted, of course, but I didn't think it required me to stay and tag along with them. I didn't see the need to. They did. Constantly told me I needed to get myself acquainted with other boys, or, in their words, 'laid'.<p>

Yes, you heard right; I'm gay. But I'm not your typical gay guy. Oh, no, I'm very different. For one, you'd expect gay guys to be hot, right? And skinny? And so flamboyantly gay that there was no way our kind could ever possibly hide it? Did I get all of that right? Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm not exactly that; I'm the exact opposite. I'm overweight by almost 250 pounds and I'm so in touch with my boy side that it's not even possible for other people to suspect anything of my sexuality. And, yeah, I wouldn't exactly be someone's typical shopping buddy, either.

But that's all besides the point.

Ino and Shikamaru drag me into these mindless parties because of those two main reasons. Designated driver. And mission: Get Sasuke laid. I don't think there's another reason for them to invite me, despite they say I'm a good friend and I'm fun and I'm so cute that it's not possible that no one would reject me. I don't believe them, but I'm having very big doubts about that at the moment. People are ogling me like tonight's dinner. Some harsher than others. Others… well, let's just say they're a bit nicer about it. I don't even know why.

Half of the reason I know why they're glaring at me like that is because I'm not very popular amongst these types of people. I mean, I'm gay; people around here hate gay people more than anything else. And I'm repulsive, too, there is no possible way in denying that. Maybe also because I'm an underclassman hanging out at a seniors' party that I clearly wasn't invited to. Sakura Haruno's party, to be exact. And, yes, she was the exact definition of a popular girl. Beautiful, striking fashion sense, nice, smart. She had it all. Boys falling down at her feet. Money. Everything? Yeah, you name it, and she had it. And, yes, she was nice and smart; she actually invited me to this party. We're friends. Not frenemies, but actual friends. Ever since we were in diapers, back when puberty came crashing down on me in the worst way possible. I suppose these people didn't understand that.

I didn't see her nor Ino and Shikamaru anywhere around. Knowing them, they were probably alone in a room together, making out or something. Or making babies… I shuddered at the thought.

To be honest, I was sort of terrified of being left alone here in the party. I'd never been anywhere alone without them. Everywhere they went, I went. They never really hated it when I was around; they constantly welcomed it. I was a follower. I never learned how to be alone properly. So, you can say I was probably more than terrified of being stared down by all these people. I could feel my cheeks burning as I passed them by, the back of my neck drenched in sweat, out of fear, nervousness, confusion. My ears were scorching hot, throat painfully dry. I needed something to drink. And fast. I almost basically threw myself towards the punch bowl, grasping onto the ladle as if grasping to the last little bit of life I could feel leaving me. The punch bowl was spiked, I wasn't stupid enough not to know this, and, to be honest, it was the smallest thing I needed. Even if I didn't like the taste of alcohol one bit. I needed something. Anything to ease the throbbing pain in my throat, something to busy my senses from the people that I knew were still staring.

As I downed the soothing drink, I could feel myself become to unhinge just a little. The drink was strong. Way strong. My heart suddenly started to beat very fast, almost as if in sync with the beat of the music, the same weird beat as the mind-numbing techno. I closed my eyes and smiled for the moment, forgetting where I was, and I started to sway from side to side, dancing along to the sound of the music. It was strange how easily I was influenced by the smallest hint of alcohol consumed into my system. I started to sweat even more. I started to feel strangely dizzy. I felt as if though the whole room was spinning, but I didn't stop dancing. I didn't care people were staring or that some guy - drunk, I supposed - was grinding on me, grunting and breathing against me. I let myself be guided by this stranger's touch, by his sudden need for dancing with me, of all people. We danced for a long time, it seemed; I didn't remember. All I remembered was ditching him to go get some more spiked punch. Several times.

He followed me, resting his hands upon my waist as he rained kisses down my neck, his girth pressing up against the back of my ass insistently. Why this guy was doing this sort of thing with me and me alone was mind-boggling, but I knew I sure as hell wasn't going to go along with it. I could feel my face go beet red. I mean, okay, honestly, I was tipsy and all, but I wasn't easy. Not even in my drunken state. Rage flared up within me and I whirled around to punch him square in the jaw. I punched him good, too. Had a pretty steady, accurate aim as well, to my greatest surprise. He stumbled to the ground, holding his pained jaw, moaning aloud.

My face burst into flames as a crowd suddenly formed around the guy, each of their faces looking up at mine. Glaring at me, hating me. I looked back down at the guy. He glared up at me drunkenly, holding the side of his face. I felt my insides churn with anxiety and fear; who knew what this guy would to me? I couldn't stand around here for too long. I escaped from there as soon as I could and ran to the nearest room I could find, slamming the door shut behind me. I hyperventilated into the dark, heart beating quickly, face red, feeling disoriented and scared whilst burning with drunken rage. I swallowed, my lips quivering, shaking. I didn't know why I was so scared for my life. Maybe because the sight of the crowd glaring at me in anger was not something I expected to be following me all night; it only ever happened at school. I never expected it to follow me at a party that I was invited to. Or that I was going to punch some random guy either. I wasn't myself when I was under the influence of alcohol. I did things that were out of the ordinary and I didn't like it. Even if I did like it when I punched the living crap out of the guy. I mean, to be honest, I never had a guy grind up on me the way he was doing so. And the way he touched me… I didn't know whether to be disgusted at myself or at the guy. I found myself liking it as much as he did. The kisses he pressed against my skin, against my neck, against my sensitive body, excited me. If my conscious was dead in that moment, I probably would have let myself be touched by that guy, no matter how far he went. Well, okay, probably not that far, but far enough.

It was strange at how much of a man-whore I could become with tentative, yet equally as provocative touches from strangers; one could tell I didn't get out much. Despite the idea I was gay, I'd never actually gone farther enough as to getting a kiss on the cheek, and that was only from girls who only looked at me as a friend and nothing more. Not that I cared, but, I mean, it'd be nice to know that some girl wants to go farther than that with me. Actually, it'd be pretty nice to know if anyone wanted to go farther than that with me. I'd never really had anything exciting happen to me, especially a relationship. I was such a loser.

I struggled to gather my composure, proceeding to breathe normally in the dark. I tried to slow my heartbeat, but I was so scared. What if the guy came in here and beat me to a pulp? What could I do? Would I be able to fight back? If I did, could I do it without thinking of the way his lips connected with my too sensitive skin? I didn't think so.

I breathed in slow, in hopes of calming myself as I stumbled blindly in the darkness, staring at the door in lost despair, waiting for what would come staggering drunkenly my way as I found my way onto a bed. I sat upon it almost tiredly and I swallowed nervously, rubbing the back of my neck almost as if doing so would bring back the feeling of the way that stranger's cold, chapped lips rested against my skin. It didn't. I let out a slow, shaky breath, clearing my head and brought oxygen back into my life. I was lightheaded now. What would it have been like if I'd let him continue with his ministrations? What if he'd planned to kiss me? Would I have pushed him away then, knowing this?

I shook my head, scoffing. Of course I wouldn't; I was too proud to let myself be taken. I would be scared as well. I mean, I didn't know how to kiss, much less be in a compromising position as intimately as the one I'd imagined myself in. I wasn't experienced in that area; it would have been my first kiss, and it didn't help that I kept thinking about it. I blushed a deep red in result to thinking too hard about any of this. That's my problem. I thought about trivial things too much, trivial things that required less thinking skills than I input.

I sighed.

That was the negative thing about being a fat, repulsive kid; one thought more and more about things and dwelled on what could have been. The positive thing, however, was that I took shit from no one, but that was also considered a bad thing. There was no win-win thing in this sort of situation.

The doorknob suddenly rattled, startling me from my train of thought, and, for that moment, I thought it was the guy I punched coming for revenge. I flinched as soon as the door opened. But then I realized it wasn't the guy. I couldn't see this guy's face, but I could tell he was hot. Blond hair, tan skin; he was the type of guy I fell for constantly. His face was obscured by darkness. Light from the party scene poured into the dark room where I resided in. I still couldn't see his face. The figure in doorway stood there for a moment - staring at me, I was sure - then he stepped in, closing the door behind him, the music and cheering and laughing and talking from the people outside muffled by the door.

Judging by the way he walked, he didn't seem drunk, but some people had astounding sense of balance when it came to drinking, so I wasn't too sure. He smelled strongly of smoke, though. Filled the whole room with the stench. To be honest, I didn't like cigarettes, nor did I like to smoke them, but I sure loved the smell they gave off. I thrived off the smell for a moment before a lamp clicked on behind me. How did he get over there so fast? I turned. He stared at me, bright, blue dilated eyes stunning me for a moment. I felt my heart suddenly beat very quickly.

He.

Was.

Hot.

So hot.

Granted, yes, he was a little chunky-looking from the face, but the hot kind of chunky, the kind that was on the football team. He had nice lips. Pink, full ones. Beautiful ones. I suddenly swallowed, licking my own dry, chapped lips. He had nice arms, too. One could instantly tell, judging by the way his muscles rippled against the tight, black shirt he was wearing, even if he wore a red plaid, button-up shirt over it.

Honestly, this guy was the perfect concoction of a model. I'd never seen him around the school before. I mean, this guy was hot, and not many hot guys walked around our school looking like that without going unnoticed. Did he even go to our school? If he did, how the hell hadn't I seen him before? And how did Sakura know him? Why didn't she present him to me? Or to anyone else? Was he her boyfriend? So many questions surfaced of this guy's everything. I mean, he was just so friggin' hot. Not a single person could go without ignoring this guy. Not even me, and I ignored many hot guys before. Of course, though, I couldn't actually say that hot guys were ever in close proximity and in the same room with me like this one here.

I was one lucky bastard.

He spoke, but I couldn't hear anything. Didn't listen. Did he sound as beautiful as he was, I wondered, but my attention was slightly - okay, a lot - diverted by the startling beauty this guy provided for me, so I couldn't concentrate among finding out this sort of information. I was going to hyperventilate, I just knew it; I was already on the verge of doing so, all fault against my erratic heartbeat. I felt as if I was going to have a panic attack. And I was already embarrassed enough. I could feel my face going up in flames as he stared me, eyes scrutinizing me, judging me already, laughing at me. I couldn't find myself to tear my gaze away from his. I didn't have the self-control I desired.

"…Room?" His voice faded into my eardrums and I swallowed, biting my lip; it was a beautiful sound. His voice was deep and soft, surprisingly; he didn't seem to be frustrated at the lack of an answer he was receiving. If anything, he sounded confused. I struggled to focus on the sound of his voice and forced myself to respond.

"Wha…?" I sounded like such a moron. My heart crashed against the restraints of my ribs as he stared me down, lips parting to speak once more. I suffered deep inside; he was so hot. I could have drooled.

"What are you doing in my room?" He repeated, pink tongue darting out between those beautiful parted lips, licking them. I swallowed, throat going dry.

I couldn't respond. Not when he was looking at me like that. I was speechless, frozen on the spot because of this guy. I was on the brink of hyperventilation, and I was sweating so profusely; I'd never been around a hot guy like this one since ever. He made me nervous. Very nervous. I was sure he could see this. However, if he did, he had a nice way of pretending he didn't notice. I looked away, and mustered up enough courage to speak, to distract myself from him.

"I… sorry. If you want, I'll leave. S-Sorry." My voice shook, and, as I stood from the bed, my legs shook, too. He watched me, but stilled my movement, hand grasping at my forearm. My whole body shook. My heart beat even quicker. God, this was so embarrassing. My cheeks flushed as I turned to look at him. I found him staring, scrutinizing me, sizing me up and down; was he checking me out? I laughed in my mind. Of course, he wasn't; why would he be checking me out? I wasn't the least bit attractive, and it utterly confused to think that he would think that of me. It was absurd, the idea.

"No, it's okay. I just… I didn't think anyone would be in here." He murmured, watching me too intently, too seriously, azure eyes smoldering into my own against the dim light. Why was there so little light in here anyway? I started to sweat even more, pressured by the realization. The guy released my forearm. "Stay."

Now, to say that this singular word didn't affect me in any way at all, would be a lie. A cold shiver traveled down my spine. It was confusing, but there was something about the way he spoke that hypnotized me, that made me want to bow down to his every whim, every need. He had a way with people, there was no doubt about that; I could clearly sense this. He knew he had power over me somehow. I knew he did. He watched as I sat back down on his bed, eyes never once tearing away from mine. I couldn't hold such a gaze for long without turning a beet red; I turned away. Never did like it when other people stared at me for so long. Especially when it came to a hot guy like this one. He joined me, sitting too close to me, crowding me; I couldn't breathe. I scooted away from him slightly. I wasn't keen on having someone sit so close to me; I had a phobia about that. However, he pretended not to notice this.

For a moment, we sat in silence, listening to the pounding rave music knocking against the bedroom door. I resisted the urge to dance, to lose myself in a flurry of movement like I did earlier with that other guy. I suddenly really wanted to dance. I didn't care with who. Just as long as it was with this blond guy. I shifted in the bed slightly. He did, too. I took a glimpse at him. Surprisingly enough, he was staring at me; I reddened immediately. Did he like me? Or was he just fascinated by how easily I seemed to blush and he felt the constant need to keep watching me in order for me to keep on doing so? …Or maybe I was just paranoid. I wondered where Ino and Shikamaru where. But I didn't worry about them too much. I really didn't think it mattered where they were; they were having fun, I was sure. I shook away the mental image from my mind, blushing even harder. I wondered where Sakura was as well. I mean, this was her party and her house. It couldn't be that hard to find her, right? Wait…

"You said this was your room?" I suddenly questioned the guy beside me. He was still staring at me, but was obviously shocked at the abrupt question. His eyes refocused on me once more. Was it getting hotter in here or was it just me? The flush on my cheeks wasn't going away. He nodded. I frowned. How could this be his room? Sakura was an only child. She didn't have any brothers and sisters. I mean, if she did, she obviously would have told me a long time ago. Right? Unless he was just a visiting relative or something. He sensed my confusion. He spoke.

"Sakura hasn't told you about me, has she?" He inquired, then scoffed as I shook my head, confused. "Of course she hasn't. I'm Naruto. Her half-brother."

Half-brother?

My brows furrowed together. I shook my head.

"That's not possible. I mean, it is, but…" I sounded so stupid. He didn't notice, thankfully. "Her parents have been together since… since she was born." I wasn't so sure now. "…Right?"

He shook his head, blond hair falling over his eyes. He pushed it away. "Not exactly. They had a falling out years before she was born. Dad went to a club, got a little drunk, messed around with a lady that happened to be my mom, and, well, one thing led to another… Nine months later, I was born. I was a bastard child. Her mom found out. But there weren't really harsh feelings about it. Not anymore, I think. She kicked him out, though, for a small amount of time. Took him back a couple of months later." He suddenly stood from the bed and walked over to a little fridge in the corner and took out two cans of beers. He offered me one. "Beer?" He was obviously not going to talk about this for any longer; it made him uncomfortable. It was clearly visible in his eyes, which refused to meet mine during the time he was talking about this. But they met mine now, watching me eye the beer in apprehension. I swallowed. He was older than me. He was legal already. He could drink as freely as he could. I couldn't just yet. I was a minor. Okay, yeah, sure, I drank some spiked punch, but that was different. Being offered a beer officially by anyone older than me was wrong, it felt wrong. I felt so much smaller compared to him. I found myself taking it reluctantly, fingers curling around the cool can slowly. Almost as if doing so would cause utter pain, which I thought did.

He didn't need to know I was years younger. He didn't need to know I still went to high school when he went to college. He didn't need to know that I was scared, especially when I took a small sip of the drink. It felt so cool sliding down my throat. Fresh. I closed my eyes. It tasted so good. I found myself chugging it greedily, guiltily, and hungrily. I was so fucking thirsty. Naruto suddenly laughed. God, he had such a beautiful laugh.

"Whoa, hold on there! Take it easy! It's not going to disappear. Savor it. Don't chug it all in one take. Yeah… like that. Slowly." He watched as I downed the rest. He laughed as I grabbed at my head, taking the empty can from my lips, flinching slightly at the wretched aftertaste that seemed to follow. I never did like beer. He took the empty can, eyeing me. "You all right? Went a little fast there…"

I nodded. My brain wasn't functioning right at the moment, though; it was all fuzzy and stuff. I laughed a little at the feeling. He seemed to relax, then his lips pulled into a lopsided grin.

"I like how you hold your alcohol. You want another one?" He questioned, not even waiting so much for a response as he walked over to the miniature fridge yet again, taking out another can of beer. He opened it, then handed it to me, and joined me on the bed once more. "But, this time, you got to savor the flavor." I took it, but only took a small sip of it. I didn't want to do a stupid thing like what I did again. He smiled.

I wanted to talk about him some more, but I didn't think he'd like that. Still, it couldn't hurt to try.

"Sakura… does she know?" It was a stupid question, yes, but, sometimes, in cases like these, people never usually found out about distant siblings until their teen years. I wasn't so sure that was when she found out, though.

The smile that grazed across his lips faltered. I regretted asking. I wanted him to smile at me again. He took a sip of his beer, and looked down at his hands. He nodded, meeting my gaze once more.

"Yeah, she knows. She's known for years. We've talked before on several occasions, but this is actually my first time visiting down here in the valley. I asked if I could of my own accord. She's my little sister, and, well, she's graduating; I wanted to be here when she did so. She was there when I graduated from my high school." He had a faraway look in his eyes as he remembered. A smile quirked at the sides of his lips. I found myself doing so as well. He looked at me now. "Though, I think it seems I came on the wrong date. There's a party here. I mean, of course I expected there to be a party a week before her graduation, but I didn't expect it to be so… sexual." His brows raised, and he shook his head. "High school kids nowadays are getting more and more hands-on…" He laughed slightly, eyes crinkling at the sides. "I don't blame them or anything - raging hormones and all; understandable - but, at least, have some sort of decency not to act upon it physically. Or in public."

He laughed fully now, the sound like music to my ears. I found myself laughing, too, my brain fuzzy. We laughed for a long time. It could have been the way the beer affected us, but it was too soon; we'd only just drunk one. I was on my second one, though, and I could still feel the spiked punch restarting in my system, fueling my once drunken state yet again. I didn't know about Naruto, however; this could have been his first drink of the night. Or his fourth one. He was old enough and mature enough to hold his alcohol, unlike me. He probably got into a club beforehand and drank a little before coming over. That's probably the reason why his eyes were dilated. That, or he was just tired.

The alcohol in my system suddenly made everything look better, sound better, feel better. I shiver went down my spine as his knee brushed mine. It felt too good. As his laughing died down as did mine, my eyelids drooped slightly, taking all of him in, checking him out. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do everything to him. And vice versa. But I wasn't all too sure how to get him to do any of that. Even if I was just a little bit drunk, I couldn't really have all too much courage to do anything too daring, especially encouraging some guy to do something with me. I had that fear of getting rejected. And I didn't really have a way with words with anyone I liked even in the least; I never learned how to promote words well into great sentences. I always flubbed.

I remember once a long time ago, back in my freshman year, I liked this guy, and Sakura convinced me to tell him I liked him and to ask him out on a date. Mind you, I was almost basically the same size - if anything, I was only just a bit bigger - and I was much more outgoing, so this seemed like a piece of cake to me, but, I don't know, something happened in that moment when the first words slipped past my lips weren't even words. They were just sounds. Words stayed lodged in my throat. I ran away before I could flub anymore. I messed up bad. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't look him straight in the eye after that. I supposed he was laughing. I mean, I was pretty sure he was. He hung out with those type of people; those horrible kind of people that never left anyone alone, taunting nonstop about their mistake until they graduated. I remembered them. They made my life hell.

The more I thought of what had happened years ago, the more I wanted to fight against the restraints of my reserved personality; I just wanted to let loose. Go crazy. I wanted to make out with this guy. I didn't want to care what I looked like. I didn't want to care about anything. About what would happen if it led any further. I shivered at the thought, and took another sip of my beer, the taste invading my senses, influencing me further and further away from the path of soberness. I could feel my eyes drooping, my inhibitions losing the fight against my body. I wanted him.

"I saw you punch that guy…" Naruto suddenly murmured, stunning me from my approaching, lustful ways. His eyes burned into mine ferociously and unexpectedly. I found my heart beat quicker against my chest, my shy ways returning once more, but I didn't let it show that this made me nervous; I hoped he didn't notice this. I nodded, a small tinge of red tinting my cheeks as he stared. Crap, he noticed. I blushed even harder. But he only smirked, sizing me up, then he nodded in approval. "I can see why. Douchebag, that guy was. Grinding up on you like some horndog. No matter how far away you tried to get away from him, he followed. Never left you alone?" I shook my head, utterly shocked at how he seemed to catch all of that. Did he notice me before? Or did I just make that big a scene? "Kissed you, too, huh? All over your neck?"

Now I was sure he noticed. Nobody would take the time to bring all this up in a conversation without making it seem they weren't watching. I was sure he was watching me. The way his eyes glinted in the dim light of the room convinced me thoroughly; they oozed interest. He could have raped me with those eyes if he wanted to. And I probably would have let him.

I tried to swallow down the large lump in my throat. But I couldn't. At least not now. Not when he was watching me in such a way like that. This time, for sure, I knew he was interested. My breath caught in my throat. But I shook my head. He couldn't be; I wasn't attractive. He was just under the influence of alcohol like I was. However, as he leaned closer to me, I took a whiff of his breath, but it smelled nothing like alcohol. If anything, it was just a small hint, but not a lot like my breath. He stank mostly of smoke, and, for some reason, sweat. He watched me, that penetrating gaze of his keeping me locked in his eyes. He licked his lips as his eyes shifted to take a glimpse at my own quivering lips. I was so nervous. Why was he getting closer? Did he want to kiss me? What would I do? Would I push him away like that other guy? Would I punch him too? Would I run away as well? Unless this whole thing was all just in my head caused by this beer I was drinking and the one before that, and the spiked punch.

His lips suddenly brushed against my jaw, jolting me from my thoughts, causing me to drop my beer, the liquid seeping through the carpet. Naruto didn't notice, or even care. I shivered in excitement and anticipation at the touch of his lips brushing against my racing heart - what was going on with me? - and my cheeks burst into flames at the contact. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was sure he was playing with me. Right? I mean, this had to be all a joke. A bet he thought he could win? Would he win if I'd let him? What if Sakura walked in on us? I almost pushed him away at the thought, but…

"You're into me, aren't you?" He murmured against my jaw. I tensed, biting my lip as my breaths suddenly came out in sharp gasps at the feelings he caused to surge through my body. Excitement, lust, joy. He chuckled at my reaction. I blushed, breathing hard as he looked into my eyes, then he smirked. "'Cause I am." That threw me off the edge just a little. I clutched the bed sheets tightly instead, knuckles turning white at the touch of his lips that now rested at my neck, kissing it. Kissing at the place where my heart beat vivaciously. I blushed so hard. God, I couldn't believe my luck. He was so hot. And I was a fucking mess.

I asked myself what was wrong with this picture. What made this so wrong? Only everything, I found myself concluding. I was the fat kid, and he was perfectly fit; too hot for mankind. I was socially awkward. He wasn't. He was the utter opposite of me. It didn't make sense. How could it? Another reason was because he was Sakura's half-brother, and he was way older than me; none of it would be possible to act upon. At least, to me. I considered it taboo. Messing around with someone's half-brother who was years older than me was just crossing the line. But my fantasy of this guy was coming true. I mean, yes, I was sure this was all fueled by the effects of alcohol, but it didn't matter to me. Not now, anyway. All of my senses were enhanced in the heat of the moment. My inhibitions were losing yet again. I was confident now.

I crawled into him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He didn't object, and he didn't huff in protest against my weight. His only response was that he kissed the living daylights out of me and shot them straight into oblivion and beyond. He was fucking good. He knew he was, too. I groaned into our kiss. We fell onto the bed, the mattress creaking softly in response. He chuckled. The vibration almost sent me into a flurry of excitement. I gasped a little. He took that as an opportunity to shove his tongue into my mouth, exploring, devouring…

I'd never French kissed before. To be honest, it felt strange. I mean, I never approved of drool. Not even of my own. But that's what was dribbling from our lips; that was what I had to deal with for the moment. I was disgusted. I wouldn't return this. I shied away from the fact of shoving my tongue into his mouth. What if my breath stank? I didn't want him to taste my lunch. The whole idea of making out like this made me a little sick. But, oh, God, he made it feel so good, so I just had to return the action. I wasn't the least bit experienced, though, I knew I could try.

I shoved my tongue into his mouth and we battled for dominance as he groaned softly, kneading my ass with thoroughly experienced fingers. I moaned long and hard, losing the battle. He smiled beneath our caress. I'd never done this before. I was never touched like this before, kissed like this before. It was so much to take in and too much to enjoy completely; I could only do so much. I was dizzy. Drunk with untamable lust and want. I was scared, too. What if this led to something else? I would bottom, wouldn't I? Of course I would, that was a stupid question. Here I was, acting like a wanton whore, offering myself all over the place; why the hell wouldn't I be?

Naruto suddenly flipped our positions over, his grip and talented fingers lost from my ass. He was surprisingly strong. I was aroused. Our make-out session didn't cease, however. But he was holding back. Judging from the way he now gripped at my shaking thigh, I knew he was holding back. His fingers gripped so deeply into my skin, I was afraid he would leave bruises. His tongue traveled everywhere in my mouth, like if he was on vacation. Mine was timid, only shoving in every now and then to taste the faint taste of smoke that lingered within his breath. The menthol was addictive. He bit my lip, pulling it, licking it, sucking it. I didn't expect that; it was hot. I groaned again, thrusting slightly into him in response; I honestly didn't expect to do that. I was fucking needy now. He huffed against my mouth shakily at the action and pulled away, eyes shut. I stared at him through blurred eyes. Did I hurt him? He took a breath, shoulders heaving up and down quickly, as if out of breath. He looked strange. Strange hot, though. His lips were red, his hair was messed up, his red plaid shirt gone, black shirt showing off tanned arms and a broad chest beneath. I wondered if I did all of that to him. I wondered if I looked as he did. Worse, maybe?

We resided in silence for a moment, our heavy breaths the only sound noticeable in the room. He still had his eyes shut. He held himself over me with both hands planted on the bed, next to my head. I watched him, watched as he tried to reassemble his composure, watched as he opened his eyes. My heart accelerated. His once bright blue eyes were now a dark blue, obviously darkened by the power that lust had over him. They grew darker as he took my appearance in.

"Damn, you're fucking hot…" He breathed out, pressing against me as he leaned in to kiss me again. I felt something press against my shaking thigh.

I stiffened. He was… hard. For me. Because of me. I swallowed. And he was big. Too big. I panicked a little. I pushed against his chest, breathing hard, shaking my head.

"I-I can't… it's just… I… we…" I couldn't find the words. I was at a loss. I was flubbing again. My heart beat quicker as he leaned down towards me and kissed my neck. I flushed, shutting my eyes as he bit onto my neck, suckling at the sensitive skin provocatively. I gasped at the feeling, toes curling in my socks. My first hickey. I couldn't believe it. He sucked harder. I moaned at the pleasurable pain, clutching at the front of his shirt, shaking my head lightly. I started to sweat profusely, probably more than I already was. The air in the room was already getting stifling. "N-No, Naruto, wait…" If he continued to do this, we would end up doing… well, that. And I didn't want to. I wasn't ready.

It was hard to say no to these lips, but I still couldn't find it in me to pull away for two reasons. One, because, deep inside, I really wanted to. But reason number two was reasonable; he didn't even know my name. I never even told him. This was going to turn out to be a one night stand, if anything. I didn't want that. I was still so young. I wanted to save myself, save my virtue for that special someone. Him, possibly, if this developed into something further. My body deceived me, however. I grinded and thrust onto him like no tomorrow, driven by want and lust and need. His lips popped from my neck loudly. He moaned aloud, and, oh, my holy fuck, what a beautiful sound it was. He growled almost in an animalistic manner in the room. He was sweating already. It glistened off his face like holy water, but I refused to give into him. I sat up, before he could do anything else, swallowing at the look of desire that came over his features. For me.

"I can't." My voice cracked. "You don't even know my name…"

He laughed, a broken, cracked laugh. He didn't notice this. He was out of breath.

"I do. Your name's Sasuke. Sakura told me a lot of things about you." He grinned lustfully at me now. "Never told me you were great at this, though." He obviously meant his raging hard-on that was not that hard to miss. No pun intended. I shook my head, red-faced.

"I can't." I repeated. I almost succeeded in escaping from him as I was about to push him off from me gently, but he kept me in place, fingers locking around my forearms instantly. He pushed me back down on the bed, his eyes tempting me, teasing me. There was no way I could say no to him. He kissed me again, his hands now cradling my face soothingly. This kiss was sweet. Nothing like the passionate embrace from minutes earlier. I liked it; it was just like the movies. But my common sense screamed at me for having a lack of control for this boy. It fought against me, forcing me to speak. "It's… wrong… On so many… levels." I murmured in between short kisses. He 'hmm'ed in response.

"So… many… levels…" He repeated, proceeding to ravish my neck once more. To mark it yet again. I groaned, biting my lip, smiling drunkenly at the touch of his lips against my skin. "Sakura's half-brother… older than you… more… experienced…" He bit me over and over, sucking me, marking me, tasting me, teasing me. His hands slid down my chest, creeping towards the button on my jeans, dark blue eyes measuring my expression, watching me. I was frozen from head to toe with pleasure seeping from within my body. I was sweating with anticipation, shaking with fear. I didn't know if I could do it. It would be my first time. I didn't want it to be like this. At a party. Sakura's party. In her brother's room. After only, like, what, thirty minutes of knowing each other? No, it had to be special.

My body was keen on betraying me, though; he wanted it as much as I did, despite how scared I was. As Naruto unbuttoned my jeans, I struggled against the urge to push them all the way down myself. I wasn't going to show him how desperate I was. But he was taking forever to slide them from my thighs. I was getting antsy.

"Naruto…" I moaned, pushing myself onto his fingers, offering myself; I was so horny. He smiled. God, I was a whore. His fingers pushed down my jeans, freeing me from my restraints. We were going to do this, and I was going to let him. Oh, man, I was going to let him. I felt so self-conscious, despite the idea that my demeanor didn't show this. Didn't show that I was about as nervous as I felt. I was scared. My heart was racing like a jackhammer against my chest as his fingers hooked in my underwear. I didn't want to. Couldn't let my inhibitions loose completely. I shut my eyes and shook my head, stilling his fingers aching movements. I'd never let anyone see me or touch me down there. And I couldn't just let myself. But he was very convincing. His fingers ghosted over me, watching me. His muscles rippled against his shirt as he reached to touch at my face. I was shaking and sweating, scared but anxious even in this moment. He noticed all of this, and his expression changed. His eyes still smoldered with desire, but not as much now that he watched my slight frightened expression. I was afraid of how unattractive I already looked; I didn't need to look any worse. Though, he wasn't in the least bit repelled by me. He cradled my face in his hand, crawling up from where he was residing from in between my thighs, resting himself on top of me. He wasn't all too heavy, so it didn't bother me that much. He kissed my nose. I blushed, shaking against his touch, against him. The action was too intimate. We'd only known each other for a short time. It seemed to come natural to him, however, so I welcomed the touch. He sighed, staring up at me, resting his chin on his arm and on my chest. He studied me. Then…

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" He muttered nonchalantly, as if not even in the least bit surprised. The question stunned me for a moment. Was it really that obvious? Did I honestly seem so nervous that it seeped through my façade of want and need for him? I shifted against him nervously. He held me in place. I was forced to look into his eyes, forced to tell the truth. I swallowed and nodded.

"Is it really that noticeable?" I questioned him. He stared at me intensely, suddenly serious, the dark look of lust in his blue eyes diminishing little by little, but it was still obviously there. For sure, he was still hard. He was pressed up against my shivering thigh.

He nodded. "The evident fear was in your eyes. I could tell. You were into it, but then when I started to grab you, you freaked. Don't think I didn't notice." I avoided his look. His hand pushed against my cheek, forcing me to look at him yet again. The action was gentle. I stared into his eyes slowly. I felt like a small child, caught with my hand in the cookie jar. He sighed, gaze suddenly changing. "How old are you?"

I feared to answer the question. I was afraid he'd walk out of my life forever. This one moment of passion in his bedroom would be lost forever. I'd have to live through life with a broken heart. I realized this was just a bit melodramatic, but Naruto made me feel good and I wanted him to make me feel good even more. Even if it was just for one night, he made me feel like he wanted me. He probably didn't want me anymore now that he knew I was a virgin, and I concluded he would want me a little less if I told him my age. He was an adult. I was still viewed as a child. He would never ensue a relationship between us. I was ashamed at my lack of sobriety; the beer was finally kicking. It was strange.

"Sasuke, come on. How old are you? I'm not going to leave if you tell me." He knew what I was thinking; this guy was amazing.

"I'm seventeen…" I murmured, awaiting his response nervously.

His hand suddenly slid from my face, the muscles in his jaw tensed. He didn't approve at all. He pulled up my pants, fingers brushing against me lightly. This was it. He was readying himself to leave. Cleaning up the evidence. He stared at me again, standing from the bed now as he put his red plaid shirt back on.

"You're not even legal. And it would have been your first time…" He reasoned, eyes searching mine for anything else. He knew I was hiding more. He pressed on. "Was anything else your first…?" I was quick enough to answer.

"Everything." I answered back. He took a step back. Yeah, he was leaving. I was sure he was. I sat up in the bed, continuing. "My first touch, first kiss, first… well, first everything… I… sorry. I couldn't exactly push you away… it… It felt good…" I tried to hide my shameful face as he stared me down. My face was red. I knew it was. I was close to tears as well. I'd been rejected before. Not by hot guys, per se, but by other guys. All in all, this could have been my first rejection, and it hurt like hell. I stilled the aching of my heart, pressing my fingers tentatively against my chest. It hurt so bad.

I didn't know why I was taking this rejection so hard if he was just a stranger, probably a guy I'd never see again, but I doubted that, considering the fact he was Sakura's half-brother. Then again, she kept him a secret for so long that it felt that way. I was a fat kid. I was naturally sensitive underneath all this lard. But, of course, I wasn't going to show that side to him. I wasn't going to let myself. I braced myself as I stood, trying to be strong. It was hard, considering the fact that I still had a raging boner like he did. I ignored it, ignored the idea of sex staring us straight in the eye. I was sure Naruto avoided the idea as well. He shifted his feet nervously as I zipped up my pants. He took in my appearance. I took in his. He still looked at me with the same desire glistening in his azure eyes. I did too, I'm sure. But we didn't act upon it. Couldn't. Wouldn't.

"You've never… You can't honestly tell me you've never done any of that?" He asked me softly, his eyes observing me, scanning me for any signs of truth. Wasn't it obvious to him? Didn't he see what others saw? All this fat…? "I mean, I thought you would have. You're not bad looking…" Was he being serious? I didn't think he was. I could've punched him. But, by God, he was. There was no teasing laughter dancing in his eyes as there always was when I received a complimenting insult. He was telling me like this was true, from the bottom of his heart. My heart soared.

"I'm not…?" I choked out. I was close to tears. I forced them back inside, heaving quiet gasps. I didn't know why that affected me so much even right now - must've been the beer talking - but he smiled. He must have sensed that I'd never been complimented before. He took me into his arms. He smelled so good. He smelled like sweat and beer and smoke, but I didn't pull away from him; it was the first non-sexual, non-provocative action of the night - despite his hard-on pressing against the inside of my thigh; he was still so fucking hard! - I liked it. He pressed his lips against my forehead, a sweet touch. I closed my eyes, smiling faintly. He treated me so nicely. Like I was delicate. I'd never been treated in such a way. I felt attractive now. His hands slipped round my waist now, keeping me in place against his chest. I opened my eyes at the new touch. He looked down at me, a new look now coming over his features. He tipped my chin up, his fingers brushing against my lips in the process of doing so. A chill went up my spine. His lips parted to speak.

"You may not be old enough to hang around with a guy like me in the sexual department just yet, but… I like you." I should've already expected the confession, but I couldn't help the feeling my heart gave just by hearing those words confessed out loud. To me. Me, of all people. I couldn't help it. It made it even more real. Someone liked me. Naruto liked me. A hot college guy liked me. I bit my lip in order to keep the cheerful shriek that was threatening to slip past my lips quiet. I would not act like some girl, but it was hard not to; someone liked me, dammit! Naruto sensed my excitement. He grinned, but made no side comment about this. "And, uh, I just hope that, um… well, I kind of want to get to know you… and stuff…" Was he asking me out or something? Did he want to set a date with me? I swallowed, heart beating quickly as he struggled for words, a small blush coming over his cheeks as he grinned at me nervously now. "I mean, I understand if you didn't want to! There's many reasons - I'm aware of all that. I'm old. I'm Sakura's half-brother. And, well, uh… I guess I'm pretty, um… ugly…? I'm guessing…" He sounded so serious that it made me laugh.

"You're not. You're very pretty." I laughed softly. I said this so confidently that it couldn't have been the beer that possessed me to say this; I didn't feel nervous or anything about saying it just like that. I smiled as he stared me down, still grinning, arms still wound around my waist tightly. He held me like he liked me, like he wanted me, like if I wasn't the fat kid. I felt happy. I felt normal. I felt… A vibration in my pants?

Both Naruto and I looked down at the source of disturbance. I pulled out my phone. Reality came crashing down on me. Sakura's name flashed across the screen. She was calling me. I looked at Naruto quickly and pulled away. What if she was watching? What if she knew we were together? Alone? In his room? I was acting unreasonable, but… What if she was? I clicked my phone and answered, measuring Naruto's expression. He wasn't grinning anymore. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. I was sure he was thinking the same thing I was, but it was worse for him; he was Sakura's half-brother, and he was hanging out with me, a minor. I was also sure that Sakura didn't know he was gay. I shrugged, throwing him a nervous look as I pressed the receiver to my ear.

I was greeted with pounding music, boys and girls laughing, Sakura laughing. I swallowed.

"Hey, Sasuke! Where are you? Ino and Shika are looking all over for you!" Ino and Shikamaru! I forgot all about them! They were my ride home! Oh, God, what time was it? "Said you wouldn't answer your phone! Your mom's been calling like crazy! Why don't you answer your phone? Did you meet someone?" Her voice turned teasing, interested in knowing. I looked at Naruto and bit my lip. He didn't meet my gaze. He was deep in thought. Way too deep in thought. I refocused my attention back to the matter at hand.

I ignored the last question. I ignored everything she said.

"Sakura, what time is it?" I murmured nervously.

She laughed at the other end of the line. Obviously she was having fun.

"It's a quarter to one! Wait, what? Oh, my gosh…" My heart dropped. My mom was going to kill me. Sakura read my mind all too easily. "Sasuke, you have to go home! Your mom's going to freak! Where are you?"

I couldn't really say I was in her half-brother's room. We wouldn't have time for any explanations.

"I'll meet you outside, okay? Are Ino and Shika there with you?" She said they were. "Okay, I'll be outside." We hung up.

I practically ran to the door, tearing it open, up until I remembered that Naruto was still standing there. Deep in thought. Without thinking, I pulled him into a kiss, breaking him from his trance completely. He was reawakened once more at the simple, innocent touch I'd inflicted on him. I could feel him smiling beneath our kiss. He knew what my response was to what he wanted. I pulled away before it got deeper.

"I'll call you." He whispered against my lips. How would he do that? I didn't even give him my number. He laughed, obviously reading my thoughts. "I have my ways. Don't worry about it." I smiled and gave him a final kiss for the night.

Before I left the room, I saw him bring his fingers to his lips. He felt something in the kiss. A spark. He grinned at the feeling.

I felt it too.

And I smiled.

* * *

><p><strong><span>AN:** So...? How was it? I liked it. Very different from the cold bastard Sasuke and hyperactive Naruto I always encounter in stories. I hoped it was all to your like, though. I apologize for the length. I kept writing and writing. I didn't even notice it was this long until I uploaded it. So many words. In one chapter. Amazing, I am. :) Lol.

Review, please! ^-^

**-With much, much adored love, KK247**


	2. Oh, Shit, Is Right, Indeed

**A/N:** So, apparently, everyone liked this story. When I started writing it, I thought it would just be for fun - some of it, not all of it - but then I realized that some of the readers around here say that this story really touched them. Why? Because they felt they were overweight. Now I've got a reason to continue writing this story. To reach out to people and show them the beauty within ourselves, whether we believe it or not.

...That was corny.

But, hey, who doesn't love corn?

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>My mom was pissed when I came home around one-thirty. As soon as I stepped in through the door, trying to go by unnoticed, she cuffed me across the back of my head. Now, don't go getting the wrong idea here. My mother is not a violent person; she was just very worried. I felt bad because she started crying. I was surprised. She never cried before in her life. At least not in front of me. But it showed me how worried she was about me. My dad scolded me and took away my cell phone, grounding me for a total of three months for staying out so late and for making my mother cry. He also took away my car, so he hit a low blow. I was only allowed out to go to school and come back. Nothing more, nothing less. But, here's the catch, they have to take me to school everyday now. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Having your parents drop you off at school? It's horrifying. That's why I begged my parents for a car months ago. Of course, though, I knew someday I would fuck up my chances of ever riding it again. Typical Sasuke, huh?<p>

The same morning that I came home from Sakura's party, I knocked out, the scolding of my mother and father still ringing in my ears. My mind was still reeling about the night's events, about my lucky night, about Sakura and Ino and Shikamaru, but I didn't dream about anything once. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep until the end of time. I guess a night of drinking can do that to you. I was sure my parents knew I was a little tipsy, but they would talk to me about it later in the morning.

When I woke up hours later, I had a headache the size of a bowling ball. It crashed against my skull painfully, engulfing it in flames. I'd never known what a hangover felt like. I hated the feeling of sickness crawling in my mouth, the sickeningly harsh sensitivity to bright light, the dry mouth. Everything. I hated everything about it. I vowed never to drink as I did at the party ever in my life. As I sat up in my bed and the raging headache crashed against my skull, I was greeted with a glass of water and Advil. I looked up at my savior. Only to discover that it was my brother, Itachi. He had a serious look on his face.

"Oh… shit…" I murmured gently as I took the glass of water and pill. He raised his eyebrows, nodding, agreeing with me.

"'Oh, shit' is right, Sasuke." He said. His voice was stern. He meant business. This wasn't going to go over well. "Would you care to explain to me why the hell you didn't answer Mom's calls last night?"

Let me explain crucial details about my brother here. He's twenty-two. He goes to college in Sunagakure, a prestigious university on the other side of town. He's probably over six feet tall. Scary as hell. He has a strong bond with our mom and dad, while, I'm, on the other hand, not really all that close. He's a prodigy. He has attractive star qualities. He's the overbearing, protective, hotheaded, crazy kind of brother one's not so lucky in having. He gets scary mad when provoked. Kind of like right now. He's strict with me. He kind of has high expectations about me and is constantly badgering me about stupid things I couldn't really give a shit about. Like, for example, my weight. He's a star child. I'm the ugly duckling that constantly disappoints.

I decided to evade his question as I popped the pill in my mouth and downed the water. It felt like sandpaper against my throat, but it felt refreshing even so. Before I could down the rest of my water, he yanked the glass of water away from my grip. Water dribbled down my chin and onto my shirt and spilled onto the carpet.

"Hey…" I protested weakly, the surging pound of a headache kept me from lashing out completely. He set the glass of water on the end table. His eyes smoldered into mine. I cowered. My brother got pretty scary when it came to me. Even Chuck Norris would be scared. "…W-What?"

He shook his head and his jaw tensed.

"Mom was worried sick about you, you know that, right? She called me and asked me if I knew where you were. I didn't. She woke me up. I have a test later on today, Sasuke. Did you know that?" I shook my head, blushing. He was piling the blame on me. All of it. I understood. I let him. "I needed my rest. But, no, I had to come over here to set you straight. To keep Mom from having a heart attack while talking to you. To ask you… what the fucking hell were you doing?" He cuffed me in the back of the head. My skull smashed against my head, my headache pulsing fiercely in my brain. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes at the pain. I resisted the urge to curse out.

"I'm sorry! I just… m-my phone was on silent…" I lied, avoiding his intense stare as memories of last night flooded through my mind, all of those memories blurry at the edges. He looked hella scary. He suddenly grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him, then he tilted my head to the side, exposing my neck. I wondered why, until I remembered what Naruto did last night. The hickeys. Itachi had noticed. Yet I still struggled to cover them, hoping, wishing he didn't notice. This type of thing wouldn't go well over with him… I think; I'd never come home like this. With a hangover the size of Canada and hickeys all over my neck. I supposed he wouldn't approve of them. I wished he did. I didn't want to face his wrath.

Though, as I flailed against him, to get away, to hide, he growled, holding my wrists together with one hand, forcing my neck exposed once more. Man, he was strong. I was fat, yeah, but he worked out everyday and everyday he got fucking stronger and stronger than before. This was another reason as to why he was so friggin' scary. He met my shifting eyes and my blush grew as he took in the pink, raw skin, grimacing.

Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit… was the only thing going through my mind; I was terrified. What was he going to do? Would he tell Mom and Dad? What would they do to me? I imagined they would hold me in confinement for years to come. I know, because I remember when Itachi came home with hickeys around his neck and they forbid him to see the chick he was dating for a really long time, but, of course, Itachi still hung out with her like nothing. After getting used to seeing more and more additions joining the other hickeys, they didn't care anymore. I don't think that was the case with me.

"…What are these?" Itachi asked me quietly, but the question was haunting on his lips. It hung in the air like venom. I was afraid to answer. "Is this why you didn't answer your phone?"

"They're mosquito bites!" I exclaimed, the lie slipping through my teeth like jelly as I smacked my hand over them, struggling to cover as I blushed like crazy against the intensity of his stare; obviously he wasn't going to believe this lie. He wasn't stupid. Was it getting hot in here?

I swallowed and stood from the bed. I wanted to get out of here. I went out of my room. Itachi followed me.

"Those are not mosquito bites, Sasuke. Do you honestly think I'd believe something like that?" He scolded behind me. I arrived to the living room. I sat down in the couch. It didn't feel comfortable. I still felt hot. I got up again. Still hot. I sat down again. Yep, hot. I got up again and instead settled for pacing the living room back and forth. Itachi growled. "Stop that!" I stopped. I sat down on the couch. Again. He sighed and shook his head, massaging at his temple briefly before settling down next to me. He tore my hand away from my neck and kept a tight grip on my wrist, to keep me from covering them again. Of course, I had a free hand, but I wasn't going to use it. I kept still as he observed them. Why? I didn't know. I swallowed nervously and my heart raced uneasily against his stare and too soft touch against the side of my neck, fingers grazing softly at my marks. "Where were you? Who did these to you?" I only answered the first question.

"Sakura's house. She had an early graduation party." I murmured, almost mutely. He perked up to the sound of Sakura's name. Of course, he always had a crush on her, ever since I first brought her to the house years ago. But he'd never admit it aloud. He fought against it, fought to hide the fact that she interested him, denying that he liked her immensely. Everyone knew the truth.

Realizing he let his guard down, he straightened and struggled against the corners of his lips that threatened to smile. He didn't meet my gaze now. Although, I did happen to see a small tinge of pink come across his cheeks. To be honest, this was something I'd only seen once in my life, back when Sakura came to my house for the first time, but not ever again did this blush show until now. I smiled slightly. He was still human. I never thought he was. He never smiled. Until she came around. It was strange. Sakura didn't notice any of this, I think. And, if she did, well, she had a good way of hiding it.

"Yeah?" He replied, the tinge was still visible and the smile that crept up on his lips won over him. I forced myself not to notice this. I nodded. "H-How…" He cleared his throat as his voice cracked. He hoped I didn't notice this. I chose not to. See what she did to him? It was all very strange. "How is she? Are her grades, um… are they… Are they any good? Is she going to college?" I could have laughed at how goofy he was acting right now, but my life was sort of at stake here. He was still examining the hickeys decorated across my neck.

"Uh, yeah, her grades are pretty good. She got accepted into Sunagakure University." I answered. This made him perk up again. I shrugged, acting as though I didn't take note of this. "I don't really know if she's going, though. She's had a lot of offers…"

I could see he wanted to talk about this more, but he assumed that would give too much away. Too late, I wanted to tell him. He already knew this. He nodded as the information I provided him with sunk in. He tried to avoid my stare, though I wasn't judging him of anything. Still, he tried to convince me otherwise.

"I'm just… I'm only concerned about her future." He argued. I didn't say anything. However, he still tried to convince both of us. His blush grew threefold. "S-She's a smart girl. I want to see her get into a good college… But, uh, you don't even know if she's interested in SU a little? By any chance? Just… curious…"

I shrugged.

To be honest, she never even talked about her college choices, about which one she liked best, about which one actually was the best, or anything like that. She kept quiet. She didn't want to worry about her future now, she told us. She had a whole summer to go and said that the only thing she wanted to do in the summer before she went to college was have fun. I'd agreed with her at some point, but I wondered whether or not she was actually going to go to go to SU. It was a good choice. Itachi went there and it was close to home. Granted, it was a town over, but it was the closest thing to home. And I still wanted to be able to see her during the week and weekends. She was my best friend. My only best friend. I'd miss her.

Sensing I didn't want to think the least about that, Itachi refocused at the matter at hand. My hickeys.

Ah, I should have kept talking about her, right?

"…You didn't tell me who made these." He said softly. He met my gaze, but it wasn't furious. He was, if anything, I supposed he was understanding. He didn't approve or disapprove, though, it did seem like he was a bit iffy about it. I found myself blushing against the intensity of his stare once more and at the remembrance of Naruto making these. The breathy moans, the way his body pressed against mine, the way his mouth worked its magic on me, the quiet struggles on my part of fighting against it; it felt so good. A chill went up my spine and I shivered at the remembrance, dazed. Itachi was aware of this. "Sasuke." I looked at him, the memory of Naruto forgotten. He stared at me, frowning. "Who was it?"

I couldn't tell him. He couldn't know. He probably went to college with him. He was probably friends with him. He probably didn't even know Naruto was gay. He knew I was gay - I think everyone did, at some point, but he suspected this about me years ago - so he knew it was a guy. At least, I was pretty sure he did. The only thing that came across his face was an incredulous expression. Disturbed, nonetheless, but still disbelieving. He was probably going crazy with wanting to know. The more I kept him in the dark, the more angry he got, the disturbed look upon his face diminishing. I shook my head, blushing from head to toe. It was funny how easily we blushed when we were put on the spot. One thing we had in common.

"It… It was just some guy… we were -" I'd very nearly spilled the beans about us almost getting it on. About everything. I stopped myself. My older brother wasn't going to know about this; it was private! He didn't let it go. He grew enraged as I stopped myself from saying anything else.

"You were what? What were you doing? Sasuke, look at me. What were you doing with some guy? Not that, right? You didn't… do that…? Right?" He was getting very, very angry. His eyes glowered dangerously now. Furiously. I blushed even harder.

It seemed as though I was trying to say we did, when in reality we didn't. I blushed because when someone talked about sex, whether directly or indirectly about it, it made me blush. It was strange for me. I wanted to explain it to Itachi, but I was so scared of him right now. I couldn't say anything else except only to deny the assumption. He glared at me as though I was lying to him.

"No! No, we didn't do anything like that! I swear to you, Itachi, it was the farthest thing from my mind!" Not exactly. Though, he wasn't going to know that. "We only kissed! That's all! We -"

"Did he force you to?" He growled.

I shook my head. "No, but -"

"Did he try anything else with you?"

He did, but, again, he wasn't going to know that. I avoided the question like the plague.

"Itachi, you're not listening to me!"

Knowing Itachi, he wouldn't cease in questioning for information; he was the worst.

"Why did you dodge the question? Did he try anything else with you?"

"You're not listening to me!"

"Well, I would if you told me he tried anything else with you! Answer me!"

"Fine!" I screeched, shooting up from the couch. He was making me so mad. Despite the idea that I knew I was frightened, I knew I was also mad; why would he want to know? If I did do anything else, it'd be too late to stop it. It would be done already. He couldn't go back to the time of the party to stop it. "He did try something else!" He fumed. He stood from the couch as well, but very slow-like, eyes blazing ferociously into mine. I pressed a hand against his chest as he took a step toward me, as if ready to knock me out. "But he stopped himself! He didn't want my first time to be with him at Sakura's party! He didn't force me to submit into him, Itachi! He's not like that!"

He scoffed, throwing his hands in the air, anger tripling.

"You didn't even know him! You can't trust guys like that! They say things they don't mean! They make you do things you don't want to do!" He screamed at me, his anger flaring. I'd never seen him so mad. My demeanor was crushing down. I was getting scared now. He grabbed at my neck, not choking me, but pushing his fingers onto the marks of last night. I pushed him away. His gaze darkened. "Those marks only mean one thing, Sasuke. They always lead to one thing…"

"He's not like that!" I repeated, the words echoing in my head like a mantra. But I found myself unable to believe any of it. I hardly even knew Naruto; how could I know he wasn't just another guy? Would he really call me? Or was he just bullshitting me? How could I know if he was trustworthy? If he liked me? I swallowed at the thought, remembering his breathy words and utterances. It was real, right? He meant what he said… Right? I mean, he brought himself to a stop when I told him I was a virgin. He treated me nicely. He made me feel good. But I was doubting; I didn't know what to believe anymore. "He's not like that…" I repeated the words yet again. I couldn't stop them from slipping through my lips. I wanted to believe that he wasn't like that. I forced myself to believe that he wasn't.

I stared at Itachi now, hurt visible in my eyes. Tears pricked against them, pooling at the corners instantaneously. I didn't know why this affected me so much. It hurt me so much to think that Naruto probably was like that, and I was fooling myself into letting him try anything with me in that heat of the moment. I didn't know what to believe anymore. The self-confidence I had had diminished; I felt like the fat kid I already was again. I felt my guard go up once more, my arms curling over my fat as I always did when I'd felt uncomfortable. I felt like shit. I felt like tearing myself away from the world. Why wasn't I attractive, I asked myself. Why did guys only want one thing in life? Why did I have to go to Sakura's party in the first place anyway?

The tears jabbed at my eyes now. Itachi watched me as I fought against them. All too quickly, his stern-looking features morphed. He was concerned for me now. He didn't care about anything else, but his little brother at the moment. His arms wrapped around me.

"No, Sasuke, don't cry. Please don't cry… I hate seeing you cry…" He cooed softly and I sunk into the warmth, listening to his steady heartbeat.

I hated him. I hated him because he was so normal. He had normal attributes. He had a normal-looking physique. I despised the way people looked at him. They looked at him like he was God, himself, walking on Earth. Girls followed him everywhere. They loved him. They didn't even notice me. People singled me out as soon as they saw me, as soon as they saw my fatness. I repulsed them. It astonished me to think that a person like Naruto would ever find a person like me attractive. It couldn't be possible. Things like these didn't happen overnight to a person like me. To a person of my stature. He had to be drunk, I convinced myself. I was the only person there in his room, the only person drunk enough to go along with anything he'd force on me. He was hot; he could have anyone he'd wanted. But he chose me, and that threw me off. The whole scenario of it all didn't seem real. It seemed planned. It was as though he knew what to say, what to do, where to touch…

I gripped onto Itachi, crying into his chest. I was having the weakest of moments. I hated these moments. These were the feelings of resentment about everything that I tried to avoid, everything I tried to hide, to burden. I tried to remain strong beneath and above the surface of my personality when in reality I wasn't. I never was. Ever since I can remember, I've never grown accustomed to having high self-esteem.

When I was a kid, I wasn't this way. Fat and repulsive. No. No, I was a normal-looking kid. Lean and lanky-looking. I ran and almost never I got tired like I do now. I was happy, too. I was outgoing. I had a normal life with the normal ups and downs that constantly occurred in my life. It wasn't perfect, but I thought life couldn't get any better.

To be honest, I don't really remember the real reason why I just got fat. Though, I know it didn't just happen overnight. I remember that I loved food a lot, but I would never eat it as excessively as I do now. I remember that I couldn't ever really put a bag of chips down without consuming it all first. Soda was the healthiest thing to me. Water was the devil. Tasteless and plain. I needed something with flavor and every food that I ate had enough flavor to keep me eating. Before I knew it, I'd gained over 100 pounds a month before my birthday. I was only thirteen at that time. It was the summer before I started high school. I ate and ate anything and everything that got in my way, so no one was really surprised I had gained so much weight in such little time. Everyday, I would hear a family member say something about my weight, insulting me, crushing my self-esteem little by little, day after day. My mom and dad defended me, of course, saying that it wasn't my fault. My family members agreed and then they blamed it on them for bad parenting. After that, my parents pushed me on weight loss pills and constantly badgered me about my weight, and they pushed it on my brother to push it on me. After that, my self-esteem was crushed. I reasoned that the only thing that all my family cared about was me losing weight. It wasn't just because they wanted me to lose the weight; they wanted to see me healthy, they told me. I didn't believe them. I gained another 100 pounds in just those three months of summertime. I couldn't move without getting out of breath in just that second I attempted to move. I couldn't climb stairs without being out of breath on the first step or so.

That was my freshman year, though; I suffered badly. Throughout my high school years, I got just a bit healthier. Only a bit, mind you, so it wasn't much of an improvement. I was still overweight by a lot. I took pills and exercised daily in those years, but it wasn't enough. I was still a fatty. I'd stopped consuming some of the foods that made me what I am. However, I didn't drink water, so it didn't help much that I did that. My junior year was almost at its end and I hadn't changed a bit. Everyone was disappointed in me just as much as I was disappointed to myself. The names got worse each year.

I cried harder at the thought. Itachi's arms secured even tighter around me. His velvety voice calmed me. Soothed me. He swayed the both of us back and forth, rocking me, then he started humming. A very familiar tune reached my ears. I felt the corners of my lips twitch upward. It was strange. I was seventeen already, but I was still treated like a child by my brother. He always made me feel all right when I felt like shit. He always hummed my favorite tune and rocked me back and forth, lulling me into sleep, back into where I longed to belong.

* * *

><p>Throughout the day, I moped about. Well, I tried to. My mom and dad kept bugging me with chores to do around the house. Their list never ended, it seemed. Every time that I was at almost the end of the list of my chores, they added another chore, keeping me busy, both watching me as I worked. They wanted to make sure I did a good job of cleaning everything right and just the way they wanted it. They were refined perfectionists. If one person didn't do their job right, they were forced to do it all over again. I cleaned the tub about three times before my father got fed up and did the chore himself. I felt like Cinderella. Of course, though, Cinderella had a Prince Charming and an evil stepmother and evil stepsisters. She married Prince Charming - I wasn't granted the rights of that yet. As for the evil stepmother and evil stepsisters, nonexistent. Oh, yeah, and I was fat. Big difference right there. My mother, of course, didn't talk much throughout this whole ordeal. Only when she ordered me around did she ever really talk, barking orders to and fro, rushing me. When I asked her questions, she never answered nicely. Her tone was always clipped. But, I mean, I suppose she had good reason. If I put myself in her shoes, then I'd understand how worried she was about me last night. I did understand. The only reason why she was acting this way was because she was trying so hard not to cry; she was so worried last night. She didn't ask me where I was, though I know Itachi told her. He told her everything, I'm sure.<p>

As I passed her by, I tried to make small talk with her, a small attempt in getting her to talk with me. Whether it was just a petty argument about nothing or about school, which I know was a useless attempt at getting her to talk to me about that. My grades didn't make this situation a whole lot better. She avoided my searching eyes all the time. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears in the brief moments I took a lot at her. Later on, as my father drilled me on how to clean the floor properly for about the fifth time, she excused herself to her room. My father followed after her, but not before telling me a whole other list of chores I had to finish. I prepared myself for the challenge with great disdain.

By the time I was finished with every single little chore on the list, I was sweating. It was no longer day outside. The moon had come out. I looked over at the grandfather clock. It was already eight, exactly on the dot. I huffed tiredly, plopping myself on the couch. My limbs ached. My eyelids drooped. I was tired. I felt my eyes closing. So sleepy…

"Sasuke."

I must have jumped about a mile from the couch. I didn't hear my father come in. I let out a breath, calming my racing heart. I looked over my shoulder, wide awake now. I swallowed as he stared me down, eyes as serious as that of a serial killers'. His eyes swept across my neck briefly, taking in the red marks. I smacked my hand over them immediately, flushing. His gaze darkened, then his eyes met mine again. They smoldered now. Itachi took after him. That's why I was afraid of him so much. I swallowed hard as he started to speak.

"Your mother's made a decision." A decision? I didn't know they were contemplating a decision over me. I stared, confused. "About your punishment." Oh, yeah, I forgot I was grounded. Three months, she promised herself. But it could be even longer if he told her about my hickeys. Then again, my mother was a very lenient person; she didn't believe in punishment. My father did, so I believe he convinced her to go along with it. I stilled as he spoke again. His voice had a rasp now. "Your mother has come to terms that… well, you're almost an adult now. You're subjected to make decisions on your own, make mistakes on your own… live life on your own…" He struggled a little to say this sentence. I was shocked to see that he had tears in his eyes. I rose from the couch. I'd never seen my father act like this. It was such a surreal sight. I wasn't dreaming, was I? I reached out to touch his face. Nope, the tears were real as they slid down his cheeks. He couldn't stare at me. His fists clenched, but they weren't preparing to hit me. He was never a violent man. He wasn't a man of many words either - you can see where I got it from - so it was difficult for him to go on with this speech he so graciously planned. He rested his hand on my shoulder, shaking his head, wiping the tears from his eyes. He looked at his hand. He was holding something. He seemed to have remembered. "Ah… here. Sakura keeps calling." He handed me my cell phone. I took it, but I was confused. Wasn't I supposed to be punished? Wasn't he supposed to cut off all forms of communication with me and my friends? He shrugged. "We both figured, well, we don't want you to hate us. Taking away your cell phone is like taking away that last ounce of friendship and communication it holds within. But keep in mind that we are still going to punish you."

The smile that quirked on my lips faltered.

Though, it didn't matter. Both of my parents cared that I still kept communication.

"So, in order to know where you are at all times… we're going to have Itachi accompany you everywhere you go." He said. Almost as if too quickly, too afraid. And, in that moment, I knew why, for the image of my pre-adulthood I had formed in my mind shattered into a million pieces. I gaped at him, mouth ajar like a fish out of water. Rage fueled me, strengthened me, almost cracking the phone in my grip. He didn't flinch. I didn't expect him to. He shrugged, but his face showed remorse; he felt sorry for my lack of freedom. But he couldn't do anything about it; the decision was already set. "I'm sorry, Sasuke, but it's for the best. For your safety."

I couldn't believe this. He would risk my social status - not that I ever had one, really - just for the sake of my safety? I mean, the thought was nice and all, but I needed my space, right? There was a limit to how much I could take and I knew I wouldn't be able to take this; this sort of thing I didn't like. I fumed.

"But you just said I was an adult! That I was subjected to make my own decisions, my own mistakes! To live my own life! You said! And now you're taking it all back?" I sounded like a spoiled child; I realized this. My father realized this, too. Though, he made no comment about it. He kept a stoic face. But his eyes held a new fire.

"Sasuke, were you even listening to me? I said you were almost considered an adult. We will let you do the things you still want to do, but to an extent." He tried to explain, but I interrupted him before he said anything else, the rage growing and burning me from the inside out. This couldn't be happening to me.

"You never said any of that! You're saying it now just because you didn't say it before!" I argued. His dark eyes seemed to darken even more. I wasn't bending over backwards to please him. I didn't want Itachi to accompany me to every single place I went to; that was social suicide!

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but we can't have you running around the place like a delinquent. Itachi will drive you to school, drive you back from school, take you to places you want to go - anything you want - but he'll be supervising your every move, and that's final."

"But, Dad -!"

"That's final." He told me, his voice sternly reminding me that he could very thoroughly throw me out of the house, when I knew I had no place to go. I pursed my lips, keeping my mouth shut. He approved of this.

Without another word, he turned on his heel, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I growled and cursed to nobody in particular, but I'm pretty sure it was meant for my dad. I threw my phone on the couch. It beeped quietly, reminding me that I had missed calls and messages. I wasn't in the mood to talk. Not right now. My whole teenage life was now ruined simply because of one lucky night at Sakura's house. I lucked out, yet, in the end, I still lost. I'd gotten my first kiss from this amazing guy, but it meant absolutely nothing now that it's gotten me into some trouble. I didn't even think it was all that bad. I mean, okay, yeah, I'll admit it was pretty bad. I hadn't answered my mother's calls. I hadn't told her where I was going. And I hadn't even told her that Sakura was having a party. I could see why they'd want Itachi to accompany me everywhere I went. I didn't accept the idea, but if that was the only cruel form of punishment both my parents could impose on me, watching my every move, watching every subtle way I'd try to escape from his watchful grasp he'd be keeping over me.

Although I despised the idea, I could always apologize to my parents - mostly to my mother; she felt worse about it than my dad - and I could try to get them to take back the punishment. I had always been told that I was very good at persuading people, to coax them into getting what I want. I could be charming when I wanted to be. But…

My shoulders slumped.

I doubted my parents were the stupid. I also doubted that my apologizing would sound sincere. It was honestly the best night of my life. No doubt about it that absolutely nothing else could ever beat the night that I had. Except possibly food, but that was besides the point. And, yes, I realized that despite Naruto was a hot guy and he was utterly nice with me and all, the idea of him wanting to get it on with just me at the party couldn't truly be real. It was confusing and weird. Of all the desperate people at the party I knew were lusting after him, he had to choose me? Come on, something didn't fit. Someone just didn't make out with someone else at a party and immediately fall head over heels for them and ask them out on a date. Maybe in a fairytale, yes, or some sort of weird alternate universe or something, but never in real life. He could have had anyone - anyone at all - yet he chose me, the fat kid. Wasn't I just hitting a low blow to his reputation? Did he even care if I did? Or was it all just a bet? To get the fat kid laid? I was contemplating many possibilities in my mind, and every single one of them made utter sense to me.

But, then again, no one really knew who he was, and no one ever really knew who the hell I was, so… Could it all have actually been real and not a figment of my imagination like I'd hoped? I suppose it was. All I could really pick up from the bits and pieces of my memory last night is the feel of Naruto's lips against my skin, the way his touch sent me reeling into oblivion and beyond, his sweet murmurs, the feel of his body pressing up against mine, the way his tongue swept across me in so many indescribable ways… Ah, his tongue, the glory of all wonders.

I shivered, biting my lip as the memory struck a sensitive nerve. I grew weak in the knees. I sat down on the couch to still them, but to no avail did they cease. My body shivered in anticipation. My fingers ached to touch. My breathing grew hard. My already racing heart raced even quicker. The memories of him poured in at full speed. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. He seemed to be moving in slow motion. Everything around me distorted. I was getting excited as I relived the way his voice murmured at my ear. I closed my eyes, biting my lip even harder. I was getting hot…

Oh, no, this couldn't be happening to me. Not in my living room. I wouldn't relieve myself in my own living room. Anyone could walk in at any given moment. I could get caught. I had to stop thinking about it. About him. This couldn't happen. That which happened last night would never happen again; it was a one time thing. He wouldn't call. He would come to his senses and he will have forgotten everything that happened last night. That's the way it was supposed to go, right? Forgetting things? Repressing them into the deep caverns of the mind? I had to do that. I wasn't going to get my hopes up. I'd only done it so many times before. I wasn't about to get burned again because of one lucky night of lust and beer.

My cell phone rang. My eyes snapped open, the pooling heat in my stomach waning.

Maybe it's him, my mind countered.

Don't be stupid, I reasoned with myself, rolling my eyes.

I reached for my cell phone. The screen flashed Sakura's name. I sighed. I honestly didn't feel like talking to her, but I'm sure she was worried for me. As well as Shikamaru and Ino, depending on the countless lost calls and waiting messages. Speaking of which, message number fifty-seventh has beeped in. Yeah, they were worried sick about me. I sighed again as I clicked my phone open.

"Yeah?"

There was rustling on the other line for a moment before a voice spoke.

"Hey."

I frowned. That wasn't Sakura. If it was, well, then we definitely had to talk about her hitting puberty overnight and suddenly obtaining the deep baritone of a guy's voice. Unless…

"Who's this?" I asked, but I felt stupid for doing so, mostly because I already had an idea of who it was. How could I ever really forget the sound of that voice? No one could ever forget it. Would ever be able to. Still, I couldn't be sure. My mind was probably playing tricks on me.

The voice on the line laughed that same laugh of his last night. Oh, it was definitely him. I readjusted myself on the couch as the sound of his voice sent a chill up my spine.

"Naruto." He replied, a hint of amusement playing in his voice. "I told you I'd call."

I smiled. He didn't know I didn't think he was being serious. That he was a liar. That I thought last night was just a one time thing for me. For us. Except I found that there really was no reason to tell him. At least now that he called.

I laughed slightly. "So this is your way? Calling me through Sakura's phone?"

He laughed, too.

"Shh, it's a secret. She doesn't even know I'm using her cell. She'd kill me if she found out. And, let me tell you, she's capable of doing that." He murmured, his voice like honey to my ears. He sounded very different on the phone. Much more manlier than last night. Much more huskier than the way his voice sounded. I shuddered as the memories came crawling back. It was hard to fight back against them, even as he spoke again. "But I couldn't exactly ask for your number when you were already leaving, now could I, Cinderella? By any chance, you didn't happen to leave a glass slipper lying around here with your address and phone number? Probably would've been a great help."

I laughed aloud at this.

"Something like that would have been morally wrong on my part. Cross-dressing is not my thing."

"Ah, come on, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. It would further your career in the later future."

"You've tried it." It wasn't a question. A statement.

"Not my proudest moment, yes, but it helped me."

"In what way?"

He stayed quiet for a moment, and I laughed yet again.

"…Okay, you caught me. It didn't, but it made me realize what a bitch high heels are. I could see why girls complained so much about them. But, hey, I wasn't about to ignore a challenge. They dared me to walk downtown like that for a night. Bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't - no, wait - wouldn't do it."

"What? No way."

"Yes, way." He chuckled, and I giggled. Yeah, I giggled. Oh, Lord, kill me now.

"So… what happened?"

He scoffed.

"Come on, Sasuke, what do you think?" Gah, he remembered my name! This was real… "What my idiot friends forgot was that I, Naruto Uzumaki, never turn down a challenge! I thrive in the danger. Live for the risks… And stay for the cake."

I snorted a laugh at the last part. He laughed once more, though I really hoped he wasn't laughing at my snort. Oh, God, I bet you he was. Damn it, that only made me snap back into reality. I was reminded of the fact that I was fat, that I was what most people would consider a last resort, that I wasn't the typical teenage dream when it came to fantasies. I don't think this mattered to Naruto. He didn't notice this, didn't have to like I did. He was still talking to me like I was a normal person, like if I didn't have any weird interests, which I know I did. Like I was the best person in the world. Still, though, my low self-confidence kept me from thinking positive thoughts. Why couldn't I just have one happy moment without feeling guilty?

Naruto sighed on the other end of the line. It sounded dreamy, the kind of sigh that only girls would ever really sigh. Was he one of those types? The sensitive ones? Oh, man, I only hoped, dreamed and wished.

"I want to see you." He murmured gently, almost whispering.

At the unexpected confession, my heart raced like crazy against my chest. I felt myself blushing. Even if he was on the other line and he couldn't see me, I struggled to hide it. Stupid, I know. My cheeks felt like an overheated chili pepper. I pressed my palm against my right cheek, cooling it, but to no avail. It wouldn't go away.

"Sasuke?" His voice sent the blush up tenfold. I couldn't fight it. Couldn't fight the way he made me feel. Like a giddy schoolgirl. Or a fat, gay kid with cake, in my case.

"Mmm?"

He chuckled.

"Did you hear me?"

I did. I nodded. I smacked at myself for nodding at the cell phone; he couldn't see me. Duh. Dum Dum Sasuke.

"Mmm-hmm."

"So…?"

What did he expect me to say? I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. He was putting me on the spot. I didn't do so well with that. I never learned how to cope with it. And what made it worse was that even though that he couldn't see the way I acted, I had a feeling he knew. This made me uneasy. It made me feel like I was the only kid in the world at the moment. Everything was so silent, so still, so… awkward. Naruto sensed the tension. He fought against it. By putting the obvious out in the open.

"Speechless, huh? Yeah, I figured. I do that sometimes." He laughed, the sound soothing me. I felt the tension ebb away into nothing. But I still felt shy. This wasn't something that just vanished just because he sought to relieve moments like these. I was naturally a shy kid and socially inept of accepting anything that was even remotely close to a date with a boy. Or anything associating with the idea. "Sasuke, go on a date with me." And cue the blush yet again. Would it ever stop? "I know that we've only just met yesterday, but I feel a special connection with you. Like we were meant for each other or something. It sounds crazy, I know, but I felt, in that moment, in my room, at my half-sister's party - your best friend - that we belonged together… I sound insane, don't I?"

This whole ordeal was so bizarre. Was it really happening? Was he really saying all of this? I wasn't dreaming it, right? I found my voice after the brief moment of shock passed.

"…You're serious?" I questioned quietly, so quietly that I wasn't sure if he heard. But I was sure he did. He was paying attention to me. Something no one ever really committed to doing in my seventeen years of living.

"As serious as I'll ever be." He confessed. I felt my lips quirk at the corners. I was smiling. Smiling so big that I felt my face would split in two at the action. He sounded entirely serious about this, about me, about what he wanted with me. I couldn't fight against the way he made me feel right now. I felt butterflies. I hadn't felt this way in so long. "I know saying this'll hurt me in the worst way, and you'll think wrong of me, but I have to be honest." He took in a deep breath. I waited, heart racing, the sound of him taking in a shaky breath on the other line making me smile even wider; he was about as nervous as I was. "When we were at the party, when everyone was getting drunk off their minor asses - I stayed sober, not much of a drinker - I was outside, smoking, and I watched you come into the house with your friends. Sakura's friends. She greeted you guys with a great big smile. You looked horrid. Like you didn't even want to be there. I knew how you felt. I didn't want to be there, either. So, I followed you inside. Your friends left you. You were alone, cooped up in a corner, and trying to avoid all and every possible physical human contact that came your way. You were scared, I remember. But then… well, you started drinking some of the punch. Your inhibitions let loose. You started dancing. I watched you. Your face… it attracted me to you. Your eyes, too; they had so much emotion in them. I couldn't look away. Even when you punched that guy. Despite the idea that you were a little tipsy, you had great aim. A graceful way in your step. Good balance. After that, well, you can guess what happened… I was so attracted to you." He laughed nervously now. "This is creeping you out, isn't it?"

To be honest, it really wasn't. To know that he noticed all of this when I wasn't looking was amazing. He had such a way for describing every single little detail that not even I noticed. I mean, me being graceful in punching a guy? Not possible. I'll admit I was like a ninja when I crept up behind someone; they never expected it. Being light on my feet was a gift, but punching someone with accurate, graceful aim was not. Still, how could he noticed all of that? Maybe he did like me the way I'd hoped. Maybe he wasn't like all the other jerky guys in this world. Maybe there was still hope for a fat kid like me to have a happy ending. God was giving me a chance.

I couldn't wipe the huge grin curling at my lips. Couldn't hide the way my eyes rolled up to the ceiling, thanking the one above for this wonderful opportunity at a normal life. Couldn't hide the amusement playing in my voice as I answered.

"Not at all." I murmured into the receiver of my cell. Whether it was the effect of what he had confessed, or he just made me feel like this all and every time, I grew confident. "As a matter of fact, I want to see you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

He laughed, as if in relief, or as if he hadn't let out a breath in a while.

"Okay, well, then… I'll pick you up tomorrow evening at six. Where do you live?" I told him where I lived. It was stupid, I know, to just pick up the phone and give a random stranger directions to my house, but a chance like this one would probably never show up in my life ever again. I had to grab the opportunity by the horns and take action like no tomorrow. I was going to risk it all. Naruto let out another breath of relief. "To be honest, I wasn't going to call. I was afraid you'd reject me."

I was appalled. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to have all the confidence of the world? Wasn't he epitome of all dream fantasies? He was supposed to be confident.

"After the night we had, you think I'd reject you? Way off…"

"Well, I thought you'd only like a night like the one we had last night to be a one time thing… Hot night with a an equally hot stranger and all…"

"You're crazy."

"Probably… but that's a possible topic for us to chat about tomorrow." He joked lightly. There was a distinct voice on the other line. Sakura. Naruto cursed. Then there was the rustling again. "Ah, shit. I got to go. Sakura's looking for her cell. She finds me with it, she'll murder me. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Six. Be ready by then." I was definitely going to be ready by that time. I couldn't wait.

"Okay. I'll see you. Bye."

"Bye."

Before I hung up, I heard Sakura yell for Naruto. He laughed. And the line cut off. I stared at my cell phone for what seemed like forever, ignoring the reminding beeps of messages and missed calls I had yet to answer.

"Tomorrow." I whispered to myself. My first date. I thought such a thing didn't exist for me. But it was here, and now that it was here, it seemed as though tomorrow would never come. The day was too long. I couldn't wait that long. What was I going to do in all that time? I couldn't talk to my mom or dad about it. I mean, they approved of my sexuality and everything, but I don't think talking about it to them would help my case much. And Itachi, well… no. He was out of the question.

Wait. Itachi.

I was reminded of the words of my dad.

'_Itachi will drive you to school, drive you back from school, take you to places you want to go - anything you want - but he'll be supervising your every move, and that's final.'_

Itachi was going to go on my first date with me. My own brother would be there when I'm trying to get felt up by Naruto. Naruto, the adult. This wasn't going to go down well at all. The only two words that came to mind when faced with a situation like this?

Oh, shit.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And that was the end of chapter two. :) I feel proud of myself. I haven't written that long in a while. I feel refreshed.

Review, please.

Much would be appreciated.

**-With much, much adored love, KK247**


	3. Better Than Food

**A/N: **And another update. :D 'Tis a joyous day! We shall celebrate it with reading! Lmao.

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. My mother was cooking. My father was working. And my brother wasn't here. Yay! Oh, what a joyous day! My life would turn out to be normal after all! I'd be a normal teenager for the rest of the time that I lived here!<p>

I ran downstairs with a huge grin on my face, something my family rarely saw around the house anymore, and it was all because of a little phone call yesterday and knowing that Itachi wasn't here made it all the more better. I could jump for joy. Maybe I just did. Because now I'm tired. I arrive to the table, the huge grin still plastered on my face. My mother is still cooking, her back faced to me. She hasn't heard me, nor has she noticed the strange and sudden happiness I'm emanating. I suppose she's still angry with me. I won't blame her. I'd still be mad, too. But then she turns… and she has a smile on her face. Her eyes twinkle as she does so. And I have to admit that it's strange, the way she's smiling at me, like if she's hiding something. A feeling of panic rises in my chest. What if she knows about my phone call? What if she knows about Naruto? About my date later on? I'm on the verge of getting down on my knees, praying to God that she'll let me go without Itachi, hoping she'll give me a chance to go to this alone. My first date.

But she doesn't say anything. She smiles as though it actually is a beautiful day while she serves me breakfast. I stare at her as she walks around the kitchen, humming to herself. That, too, is strange. She never hums. She's actually never hummed before. She's much too a quiet woman to ever be heard humming. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard her sing a song before. Not even when Itachi and I were kids. I didn't even think she could ever carry a tune. Today, I'm proved wrong. Her behavior is a bit peculiar, and, to be honest, I'm scared. But I keep grinning like a maniac, as if nothing in the world could bother me. She hasn't noticed, of course. She sits at the table, taking my hand, muttering words of grace under her breath, then she bows her head at the final words and begins to eat. She doesn't look at me at all while she does this. The smile doesn't fade away. I don't touch my food just yet. I seemed to have lost my appetite at the suddenly unexpected and odd way my mom's acting. The grin isn't even on my lips anymore. My lips are parted open, as if hoping to ask her what's making her so happy. No sound comes out.

"Yes, Sasuke?" Her voice startles me. It's so sweet-sounding, much different from the voices I've heard lately. It seems to me as though I hadn't heard her voice in forever. She felt like a stranger to me. Like if she wasn't my mother at all. Like she was just a woman in my house. She looked up at me as she ate, her eyebrows raised. Her eyes held a new glow in them; they shined so prettily. I stared at her. She was beautiful. Her smile grew. "What?"

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything. Not about the night before, at least. I'm sure she was still pissed. I think. I wasn't so sure anymore. But, even as I tried to stop tabooed words from slipping past my lips, it was too late.

"You're not… You're not mad at me?" I murmured quietly. She stared at me in confusion. Didn't she remember anything from what she was angry about? About my punishment? About anything? Anything at all?

She shook her head, shrugging.

"Mad? About what? About you going to Sakura's graduation party and not answering my calls?" Huh, guess she did remember. She was just playing dumb. Clever, Mother, very clever… "Oh, no. Not anymore. I got over it. That's old news to me now. However -" She held up her palm as I perked up. "Your punishment still goes. As much as both your father and I realize that you're not a child anymore, there are still some things we must keep a limit to. And that is your freedom."

"B-But, Mom, you don't understand! I have -" I sputtered at her aimlessly, but that much didn't faze her. She kept her composure. Still smiling. Still beautiful. But oh-so-ferocious.

"Sasuke, I know. I know. I was a teenager once. I understand. But there's only so much your father and I can do. Itachi will watch over you. It may seem like a drag to you at the moment, but…" She sighed. "What did you expect? You didn't answer either of our calls. How were we supposed to know where you were? We were worried sick. We thought something had happened to you."

"Nothing happened to me, though! Look at me! I'm fine! No bruises, no scratches! Zip, zilch, nada, nothing! I'm okay!" I tried to ease the tense atmosphere with a bit of humor, because whenever my mother scolded me about something, I felt very, very guilty. She knew this, of course, yet she insisted on doing it. She had a firm hand over me, much stronger than that of my dad's. I didn't know why. Maybe because she was unpredictable. I never knew what she was capable of. Neither did my dad, I think; he always said something to me first than my mom. He didn't know what her reaction to anything would be.

Her smile grew. How was it that she still looked so beautiful and dangerous at the same time? It was scary.

"I know, honey, but we didn't know that. Do you understand? I know you do, so please don't argue with me right now. Eat." And, just like that, our conversation was over.

By that time, she was already finished with her plate. I hadn't even touched mine. But I did as I was told. For the rest of breakfast time, I didn't speak. Neither did she. She still had the same smile grazing her lips, though. She looked different. Nothing like herself. Her humming wasn't helping her case either.

* * *

><p>I didn't know what to wear. I had many choices, yes, but out of all these choices in closet, there was either a size that fit me two sizes too small or they just didn't go with my skin color. It was thirty minutes till I had my date with Naruto. I wasn't even in the least bit ready for him. I was still in my undergarments. Itachi hadn't come home since the morning, so I had some sort of high expectations about this date. I wondered if he went back to school, because, if he did, well, the school's about an hour away or so; it'd give me time to escape from his brotherly clutches. But that was the least of my cares at the moment. I haven't even fixed my hair. I looked like a fucking cockatoo! Well, more than usual anyway. And I hadn't even put my products in my hair yet. I wondered if Naruto cared about my hair. What was it that caught his attention? My eyes, was it? Did that mean I'd have to use my mother's eyeliner or something to accent the intensity of them even further? I didn't want to. It wasn't like he'd be attracted to them even more even if I did happen to do that. He liked them naked… My eyes! I meant my eyes, not other things… or people. Or me, by some chance.<p>

I blushed hard at the thought. Thinking about going farther than as to have sex on the first date with him was too soon. The idea of that was too soon, too intimate. I pushed the thought from my mind. Or, at least, tried to. It was hard, though. With the stares he gave me that night on the party, the oh-so irresistible stares, prolonged the memory further and further onto the verge of touching myself. I cursed for my lack of control over my libido. Wasn't I supposed to be thinking with my head and not with my 'head'? Honestly, one day without thinking about the way his lips made me feel would have been nice, you know, just for one day. I brought my fingers to my lips, the memory coming to place as I remembered. The feel of his lips against mine, the spark of electricity, of chemistry, passing through our lips. The feeling of such a connection was astounding. I'd never been kissed before, but I knew a lot about chemistry between people, and I experienced what most people lacked in their relationships. For my first time. I wondered if that was the way Naruto kissed all the time… Was it possible that anyone was a great kisser? Because, in my defense, Naruto would be the only liable person up for that sort of title. Then again, it had been my first kiss. I wasn't allowed to vote pro-choice on that opinion.

Somewhere in the house, a door slammed. Itachi's voice poured in through the walls, oozing into my ears like poison. I scowled as I peeked my head out of my room. I looked downstairs over the balcony to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't. He was here. Was he going to stay here forever or what? He looked up. Our eyes met. He frowned, eyeing my half-naked state. It was a strange sight for him, for me to be walking in all my fat glory around the house in such a way when he was here. He'd never seen it before. I'd never done it before. But it wasn't like I had boobs… wait. No, yep, I do have them. Trust me when I say they're not appealing in any way whatsoever.

"What are you doing walking around the house like that? You'll blind someone…" He muttered. I mocked him in a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like him, curling my lip in disgust. I sounded like a child. I'm sure he realized that. Yet he only smiled.

I wasn't going to tell him I had a date. I mean, after the conversation we had yesterday? No thank you. I probably had no other option, though, except for maybe saying that Naruto was just a friend, which I doubted he'd believe. Going alone with another guy somewhere? Yeah, that wasn't gay at all. But, well, when had my brother ever heard of me going on a date anywhere? I had a feeling he would believe Naruto was my friend.

"I'm going out." I said. Don't say it like that, you idiot, I scolded myself. "With a friend." I added. As gently as I possibly could to make up for my hostile tone.

He raised his eyebrows at me. God, I hated when he did that! It made me very, very uneasy. And it also made me wonder if I said the right thing at all.

"Are you now? Okay, well, who's taking you?" Not you, obviously, I thought in my head. I wondered if he heard. "You do know I have to keep an eye on you, right? By any chance, did you even ask mom or dad if you could go?"

I scoffed.

"I don't need to. I'm practically an adult, they said." I replied with a small wave of my hand, the details of such a conversation minimal to me. That was a wrong thing to say. His gaze darkened. Intense.

He shook his head at me, pushing his hair back, some strands of his hair fell back into his face like a curtain.

"You just go looking for even more trouble, don't you, Sasuke?" He questioned me softly as he ascended the stairs. He looked like a ghost as he did so. It looked as though he didn't even walk on them. He seemed to give off the impression that he glided across them like nothing. He approached me. His gaze swept over my neck briefly. "Huh, would have thought those might have disappeared by now. Any harder and I would have to believe this guy was a vampire." I found myself blushing hard at his words as I remembered the feeling of Naruto's tongue and teeth working on my neck. I don't remember feeling any pain. Only pleasure. I covered the intense severity of them, blushing harder and harder as he stared at me. I avoided his gaze completely now, stepping back into my room. He followed, leaning against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest as I pulled on a random shirt and pulled on some pants. I don't think it mattered how I looked anymore now that he was here. Too dressy for Naruto and Itachi might get the wrong idea, which might turn out to be right idea, in my case. "So, who is this friend of yours anyway? Do I know him?"

I groaned as I brushed my hair, rolling my eyes at his questioning, staring at him through the mirror.

"Are you really going to ask these questions, Itachi?" I asked him, pushing my bangs from my face. He shrugged.

"What? I'd like to know about him." He replied. I rolled my eyes at him yet again.

"It's not as if I'm going on a date with him." I froze. He froze. His brow furrowed. His gaze turned questioning now. Yeah, I shouldn't have said that. Now that I've said that he probably thinks I am, which, of course, I am, but I have to make him believe I'm not. He probably won't let me go out with him now. I blushed and turned to look back at him, shaking my head rapidly. "I'm not! He's just a friend! I swear!"

"You sure about that? Seems to me like he means a little more to you than just a friend."

The blush increased. He noticed. He didn't believe the next line.

"It's not! We're just friends!"

"Yeah? Okay, then, tell me, how do you two know each other? Did you guys meet in high school? Since when have you been friends with him? And why am I only hearing about this friend now?" The questioning would not stop. I was panicking. I was sweating. Not good.

Outside, a horn honked. Shit, he was here! Itachi looked over his shoulder to my window. As he did so, I brushed my hair as quickly as possible, flattening any nappy hairs. They wouldn't go down! I didn't have time to put anything to fix this. I'd have to wing it. Behind me, Itachi snickered.

"He has a shitty ass car. No way in hell am I going in that. We're taking my car. He rides in the back. Tell him that." He ordered as he stepped out of my room, descending the stairs quickly. I followed suit after him.

He took off into the garage as I rushed out the front door. I heard the engine switch on, then the garage door opened. Naruto waited in his car. He was staring at me. He was smiling. He waved. This did not help my panicky state. I approached his car slowly. He leaned over to open the car door, but stopped when he noticed the anxious look on my face that I know was visible. His brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" He asked me quietly.

Damn it, why did he have to be sweet? Why couldn't I have been going on a date with a brash, loud, and rude, insensitive jerk? He was so pretty. It didn't help that I was already sweating ten seconds into the date with a nervous look on my face. He didn't seem to notice, though. Why couldn't he notice? I'd like him to be repulsed by me at least for a moment. Anything to save me the embarrassment of going on my first date with a boy with my brother accompanying us now who thought I was going with a friend - and having second thoughts about it now - when in reality I'm not.

I gripped onto the side of the car door. My palms were sweating. I pulled them away, wiping them against my pant leg.

"Um, my brother's coming with us… he wants us to go in his car." I said, blushing about ten shades of red as he stared at me.

He shrugged, turning off his engine, nodding.

"Okay, I don't mind. But… why?"

I was quick to answer that one. I had to keep this out in the open. He had to know.

"My brother thinks you're just a friend. Just go with it, please. He has to go with me everywhere now." I was panicking more and more by each second. I panicked even more as Itachi honked his horn. Naruto stepped out of his car. He joined me at my side. Too close. I resisted the urge to kiss him right then and there. I took a step back.

"You got in trouble because of me? I'm sorry." He murmured. I shook my head.

"I didn't answer my cell. My parents got mad. It was my fault."

"Because I took up your time." He insisted. I shook my head again.

"It was my fault." I repeated. He was getting closer to me. He licked his lips. What a wrong time to be attracted to me right now, Naruto. The horn honked again. Impatient brother. I pushed at his chest gently. I hoped Itachi didn't notice that. Our cover would be blown if he did. But I was so sure he did; my brother was painfully observant. And also because my face was bursting into flames. He would not fail to notice that.

We walked to the other side of the car, but, before I could even open the passenger door, Naruto opened it for me. My heart soared - the action was so nice, so intimate; it just wasn't at the right moment - I stilled. Itachi watched us. I panicked more and more.

"Friends don't open doors for friends." I hissed out the corner of my mouth, careful as to not let Itachi hear. My heart raced so bad. What if I had an anxiety attack? Or a heart attack? Naruto was going to blow our cover.

He leaned close to my ear, but kept space between us as he whispered, "I'm not just a 'friend,' though, am I?" Then he grinned as I struggled to cover up the blush that crept up my neck to my cheeks. I shrugged myself into the car. He shut the car door closed behind me. He sat in the back.

Itachi looked at him through the rearview mirror. Their eyes met. And the interrogation began.

"So… you're Sasuke's friend?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah."

Itachi's brows furrow together. "Yeah? Never heard him talk about you."

Naruto only shrugs. I'm so nervous. What if he messed up? What if he blew it? What if I blew it? Damn, he was so calm… He better have some good story. Or else we're fucked.

"We're old friends. Recently reconnected at Sakura's party. I met him when he was a freshman. I was a senior." He replied.

Itachi didn't like the sound of this. He stared at me from the corner of his eye. I busied myself with my seatbelt, blushing. Naruto was a really good actor. He was making up a story and it all seemed to make sense. It sounded so real. I swallowed as Itachi looked back at him.

"Big age difference, don't you think?"

Naruto sensed the hostility in his sentence. He sensed my brother was the overprotective type. I sunk low into my seat. But he seemed to take no offense or surprise to the hostile attitude. Brushed it off like if it were a pesky insect. As if he was used to it. I watched their exchange through the rearview mirror. Naruto took a glimpse of me, reassuring me, then looked back at my brother.

"We were in the same class."

"Really? What class was that?"

Naruto was quick to answer. He thought of everything. Every little detail. Something I'd never succeed in doing. Oh, he was too good. This was too planned. Did he somehow sense something like my brother would interfere?

"Psychology. It was an elective. Mixed class. Anyone could take it. Sasuke and I met, we hit off, next thing we know, we're the best of friends. Right, Sasuke?" He's grinning now. He's staring at me, blue eyes twinkling at me so brightly. My heart accelerates against my chest, the blush grows hotter against my cheeks. Itachi's staring, but he's not smiling at all. He scowls as I nod, then shakes his head, pulling the car out of the driveway. He seems convinced for now. But I know this is not the end of it.

* * *

><p>The drive to the restaurant - buffet, actually - was quiet, except for when Naruto told Itachi where to go. The silence was awkward and stifling. I'd never been so uncomfortable in my life. Naruto and I didn't speak once on the way there, but he took glimpses of me through the rearview and side view mirror. Thank God Itachi didn't notice. Because every time Naruto looked at me, he looked at me like a person looks at their lover. For too long. I avoided his stare most of the time. However, it was hard to keep my gaze from drifting to look at those endless pools of deep ocean blue; I'd never seen eyes as blue as his. And I wasn't used to someone staring at me like that. I couldn't grasp the idea of how he could stand to watch me for that long a while anyway. No one ever looked at me like that. But he continued to do so as I sunk in my seat, blushing the whole time. As often as this happened in the little time in the car, Itachi never noticed. He kept his eyes on the road, knuckles white as he gripped onto the steering wheel. He wore the same grim expression until we arrived at the restaurant. His expression changed completely. He was suspicious-looking now, still grim-looking, but not in the same way. The way he now stared at the both of us was scarier. Despite that, yes, that was hella scary, the way he stared at Naruto was even scarier. It scared me, but he didn't even notice. He didn't notice the way Itachi glared daggers at his back as he opened the door for the three of us.<p>

Itachi walked in first, glaring at him for some odd reason. I walked in second. Naruto walked in last. He was watching me. I know he was. He seemed to be doing too much of that for a while now. His fingers brushed against my hand before resting on the small of my back gently. I feared Itachi might turn around at any given moment, but he was speaking to the host, asking for a table. I battled quietly with Naruto, pushing his hand from my back as gently as I possibly could, but to no avail did it descend. He was treating me like a date, what I wanted, though I didn't want my brother to catch him. He was older than me. It was obvious that Itachi didn't like him already. But it was as though Naruto didn't even care he got caught. Like he didn't care about anything or anyone else. Just us.

I struggled against him to keep his hands to himself. People stared at us. They gave us dirty looks. They muttered under their breaths as we passed them by. Naruto didn't notice. Itachi didn't look back at us. I flushed a deep shade of red, heart racing like crazy. I struggled even more. His touch was so gentle and tentative against my own rough and cold touch. It sent shivers up and down my spine. I was struggling from the outside as well as the inside. I couldn't decide whether to enjoy the feel of his calloused hand against the small of my warm back or to continue struggling.

"Just relax… he won't catch us." He murmured, his lips resting at my ear. He kissed my neck. My heart stuttered a beat or two at the touch of his lips. He was so very close to me.

I fought the urge to kiss him. Because, for one, my brother was here. Two, we were in a public place and people were staring. A lot. And three, I'd never get the guts to kiss in public. Especially anyone like Naruto. I was nervous enough around him. What if he came to his senses and didn't like the awkward and inexperienced way I kissed? It was a stupid thing to think about right now, to obsess about, but I was a hopeless, head-in-the-clouds type of romantic and hopeless, head-in-the-clouds romantics tended to be a bit melodramatic about everything and nothing. He inched closer to me, our hips touching, his hand still resting at the small of my back. I felt self-conscious. And very nervous. The host was leading us to a table. Itachi followed behind him and we followed suit. As soon as we arrived at the table, Naruto released me, and, thank God he did too. Itachi had turned around. I swallowed. I hoped I didn't look as nervous as I was. Naruto looked normal. My brother only nodded at the table, signaling us to sit. We did. He remained standing.

"I'll be right back. I have to use the restroom. Don't go anywhere." He appointed to me. I only stared, but nodded even so. He walked off.

I let out a breath. It seemed as if I hadn't let out one of those in a while. In that second, Naruto laughed. My lips quirked at the sides. He shook his head in disbelief, staring at me through his bangs. He looked over his shoulder briefly, then turned back to me.

"Your brother's a little intense, huh?"

I nodded.

"Only all the time." I replied. I avoided the way he stared at me. Avoided the feelings he caused to stir within me with just that look. "But this is actually the very first time I've ever seen him so bothered by anyone. And he's bothered by a lot of people…"

"He hates me." He stated.

"No, he just… doesn't know you." I didn't either, but I knew him more than my brother, I bet.

Naruto shook his head, smiling. But his eyes were serious.

"No, really." My date said. Ah, it felt so good to call him that. "He does. We go to the same school. He listed a whole bunch of things he hated about me. In front of the whole class."

That I didn't expect. I mean, I expected both of them to go to the same school, but I didn't think they'd actually know each other. That was why Itachi was staring at him that way. He didn't like him. He fucking hated him with a passion. I liked this guy a lot. And he was an adult. I was still a minor. If Itachi found out it was him I made out with at the party, he would fucking blow a fuse. This made the situation a whole lot worse.

"Why? How?" I managed to choke out.

He shrugged. He didn't want to talk about it. No problem. I understood that. I respected that. I didn't want to either. My brother was the least of subjects I talked about.

"It's not important." He confessed, waving away the topic. He honestly wasn't interested in talking about my brother. His interest was captured by me yet again. His eyes sparkled with glee. He couldn't stop smiling at me. I couldn't either. My cheeks hurt. We couldn't tear our eyes away from each other. I blushed. Augh, why couldn't I stop blushing, dammit? I was not a girl. I was man, for crying out loud! I had to stop acting like this. I had to be bold; confident. That's the way us guys rolled. Yeah, that's right. We had swag. I had to act like I had swag. I had to stop acting like a girl. Starting now.

"I'm trying really hard not to hold your hand and kiss you right now." He said it so softly. Almost shyly. The confession sent my heart reeling and my face burst into flames for about the hundredth time today. I tried to cover my cheeks with both hands. Why does he do this to me? He chuckled.

Yeah, okay, swag was not in my blood. Swoon, though, I suppose was.

"I-Is that a-all you want to do with me? K-Kiss me? Hold my hand?" I mean, yeah, I liked the thought and all, but we were going too fast. We did make out at a party and we almost had done… that, but that was at a party. This was the next step, I think. I wanted a water ride, not a roller coaster adventure. I wanted to hold a conversation with him without him shoving his tongue down my throat and thinking up ways on how to feel me up. Or maybe that was just me. Honestly, what was happening to me? What was he doing to me?

"No, I'm sorry. That's not the only thing I want. I'd like to have a civilized conversation with you too. I just… I haven't done this in a while. I've forgotten how to date, so I'm sorry in advance if I'm coming on too strong." Was that a blush on his cheeks now? I grinned at him. He looked away from me. Ah, how powerful I felt. Now I knew how he felt.

"You're blushing." I pointed out, laughing. He blushed harder.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes you are." I teased.

"Come on, Sasuke, give me a break." He mock whined. I laughed. A shy smile crept up on his lips, blue eyes twinkling as bright as the light of the day. "This dating scene is about as new for me as it is for you. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I only came here to visit my sister. To see her graduate. But then you came along and that whole plan was shot out the window…"

Don't blush, Sasuke, don't blush, don't blush, don't blush.

"W-Well, t-there must have been others, r-right?" I asked, fighting against the heat surfacing in my cheeks. "I… can't be the only one…?"

He thought about it for a moment, but it seemed as though no one came to mind. He shook his head, lifting his shoulder briefly. For some reason, that eased my mind. I know it shouldn't have. I hadn't even officially started dating this guy to even start to call it a 'relationship' just yet. So I had no right to get all jelly over something that shouldn't mean a thing to me. Not just yet.

"You didn't want there to be anyone else, did you?" He asked softly. His tone was teasing. I refused to look at him directly. He laughed. "You didn't." I scoffed, rolling my eyes, stretching my arms out as though a lost attempt to cover the blush dusting my cheeks. It only seemed to be growing darker and darker as he stared at me with the same amused expression. I couldn't escape that look of his, but I still fought against it either way.

"Please. I just met you. How can you possibly assume that I… that I didn't want there to be anyone else beside me? If anything, I would have liked that, but, to be honest, I couldn't really, y-you know, I couldn't care any less." That wasn't true. And he knew that.

He snickered. Oh, yeah, of course he wouldn't believe any of it. Damn it. If only he was gullible.

"Yeah, you can't fool me, Sasuke. You're also a terrible liar, by the way. Just a heads up for our future." At this, my heart skipped a beat. Honest to God, it did. My hearing must be a little off or something - listening to music really loud can really do that to anyone; I've got the hearing of an old man - because I swear I heard him say 'our future'. Did he really just say that? Or was my mind just playing tricks on me? Didn't he even notice what he said? At all? Was I just going crazy, then?

But I wasn't even given the least bit of a chance to utter a word about it. My brother had come back to the table. My heart dropped like an anvil to the bottom of my stomach. I forgot he was even here. Naruto obviously did as well. He stared at him with wide eyes. He leaned away from me almost immediately. I didn't even realize we were at such close proximities. That was a big no-no. I wondered what Itachi was thinking at the moment. I stared at him reluctantly. He stared at Naruto with hardened eyes. But he met mine with the same hardness. His jaw tensed. He had the look similar to that of a hungry animal; the look that said he would deal with me later. I fucked up already. I swallowed and looked away.

He took a seat next to Naruto. Naruto wanted out. He tensed immediately. I could see he was terrified as much as I was of my own brother. But Itachi said nothing. We sat in silence for a moment.

"Isn't this a buffet? What the hell are you still doing sitting here? Go get some food." Itachi suddenly snapped, tone as cold as ice. Both Naruto and I looked at each other, contemplating whether or not this was a good choice to do so. We were honestly shit scared. "Go." Yeah, okay, it was a good choice. I didn't even have much of an appetite all that much anymore.

As soon as we were out of earshot, both of us let out a breath. I shook from head to toe. I didn't dare look back. Naruto did. He turned back and let out another breath.

"He's angry." He murmured as he grabbed a plate and handed me one.

I took it with shaking fingers, nodding numbly.

"Well, of course he's angry. What did you expect? You shouldn't have been so close!" I hissed sharply. I wasn't angry with him. I was angry with myself. Why had I let myself get so distracted by him? I should have been paying more attention to the way he got closer and closer instead of finding a way to fight against the way he made me blush. I was scared now. The plate shook in my hands.

What would Itachi do now? Would he scream at me again? Of course he would. No doubt about that. Would I be locked at the highest point of a tower with a spinning wheel and be forbidden to see Naruto ever again? Would Itachi banish Naruto from the lands and have him exiled for intermingling with a minor? A bit melodramatic, yes, but anything was possible with Itachi running the show. Many thoughts ran through my mind with endless possibilities of what my own brother could do me. I couldn't decide on the most painless punishment I could beg him to inflict upon me. I piled random mounds of food onto my plate, not really looking at what the hell it was. I was running on autopilot. Naruto followed suit behind me, doing the exact same thing. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. What would happen to him now that Itachi knew I knew him? Would Itachi list another thing he hated about him? I could just picture it now. _'Another reason I hate you is because you're dating my little brother, you sick pedophile bastard. Go find someone else your own age. P.S. I hope you rot in a hole.' _Oh, poor Naruto. I wouldn't have him go through that. I couldn't allow it. My appetite was running thin the more I thought about it. And it wasn't helping me any more that Naruto was so threateningly close to me. He smelled so good. What was he wearing? Fear? Well, whatever it was smelled irresistible. I found myself inhaling his musky scent. He turned over his shoulder to look at me. His eyes flashed over to Itachi at the table briefly before looking back at me, blue eyes alert as could be. He licked his lips nervously. Oh, look, his tongue. Mmm. His eyes darted quickly back and forth from me to my brother. He was so nervous. Strange. Wasn't I the one who was supposed to act that way? Why wasn't I acting that way? I was having an out of body experience. I wasn't acting like myself. Why wasn't I acting like myself? Why did he smell so good? Why was I so attracted to him? Why did I have a strong and sudden urge to kiss him?

"He's watching." He murmured quietly as I set my plate on the counter, suddenly tantalized by the way his lips parted to speak. His brows furrowed together as I approached him. He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing quickly. Why was he acting so shy? Honestly, wasn't this what he wanted? "Sasuke? Stop looking at me like that. Itachi's going to kill me. People are watching. Sasuke…?" I was approaching him. Like a lioness cornering her prey.

He didn't taking a step back. He took a step closer. He definitely wanted me. His eyes darkened. He licked his lips again. Anticipating. I got him hooked. He set his plate on the counter next to mine. On the edge. It fell over. Shattered pieces of the plate scattered around our feet. We went deaf to the world around us. My hands cradled his too perfect, too beautiful face and our lips met. I hadn't expected the feeling of such an innocent touch to make me go weak in the knees. Hadn't expected him to ravage my mouth with such delicious hunger raving against my lips. He'd been deprived of me for some time, it seemed. His mouth worked against me. His tongue caressed my insides. I still wasn't so fond of making out that way. But I kissed him like no tomorrow, pressing our bodies flush against one another. My arms curled around his neck. I caught a whiff of his scent once more. That threw me over the edge. I started to sweat. I was getting hot. But, before anything else was even about to happen, Naruto was yanked away from me. I reached for him. And he was falling. Reality came at me full force. People's voices sunk into my brain. The commotion awoke me from my trance. Naruto was on the floor. Itachi was standing above him, eyes ablaze, lip curling in immediate disgust at him. He raised his gaze to look at me. His features were hard and inhuman-looking.

"'Just a friend,' my brother said. I knew you were lying. I just knew it." He spat out. He turned back to look down at Naruto once more. He was staring at me with wide blue eyes. He wasn't scared. He was just as surprised as I was. His lips were red. Had I done that to him? A crowd gathered around us. Dirty looks were thrown our way. Insults too. Employees from the restaurant politely asked us to leave. That was a wrong thing to do. Itachi practically screamed at them; he wasn't one to be messed with right now. They recoiled. He turned to look back down at Naruto yet again, eyes growing darker and darker as he stared him down. "And you. Messing around with a minor? That's a federal crime around here. You could get fucking arrested. What the hell are you thinking going out with my brother? How in the fucking hell did you two meet? Was it -" He stopped himself. He looked back at me. At my neck. His jaw set. I swallowed. He connected the dots too quickly. It wasn't supposed to go down like this. He looked at Naruto. "It was you. You were the horny fuck who caused those things on my brother's neck. What. The fuck. Were you. Thinking?"

At the last word, he yanked Naruto up by the collar, bringing him up to eye level, noses touching. Naruto stared directly into his eyes. I was frozen on the spot. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop Itachi from doing whatever it was he felt the urge to do to him. This was all just happening too fast. People closed around us even more. The owner of the restaurant came around. He ordered us to leave. Itachi took me by the arm as he dragged Naruto by his collar. He led us out the door and into the parking lot. He threw Naruto in the backseat of the car, slamming the door behind him. Then he whipped around to look at me. He pushed me. I wobbled off balance slightly.

"Seriously, Sasuke? What was going through your mind? Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out on the get-go? That I wouldn't piece the pieces together? Don't think I didn't notice the way he was looking at you when we were driving over here. You both just made it too. Fucking. Obvious." He growled out in frustration. "Get in the car." I did; I didn't want to anger him any further.

And then we were off. An awkward silence filled the car once more. Naruto didn't dare look at me once the whole car ride. Even if he did look at me, I doubted I'd be able to hold the gaze for more than a millisecond. I couldn't face him at all anymore after what just happened in the restaurant. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe I let myself succumb to the temptation that was Naruto. Why couldn't I hold back? I had so much control minutes before. Why didn't I have any at that moment? I thought he'd be the first to fall. But I crumbled. Why? I couldn't believe it. Had I honestly kissed him first? The memory replayed in my head. The kiss excited me all over again. Not physically, but mentally. Subconsciously, I brought my fingers to my lips. They still tingled. It felt like Pop Rocks exploding on my lips, in my mouth, on my tongue. It was that amazing. It could have sworn it almost covered the fact that I was scared of what was going to come next in my life. Itachi hadn't looked at me once during the time he was driving. Not even so much as the tiniest glimpse. I was nervous.

I looked in the side view mirror at Naruto. He eased my troubled thoughts for some reason. He had a faraway look in his eyes. He was biting his lip. His bangs fell over his eyes. He didn't push them away. He was terrified. Suddenly, my troubled thoughts didn't even matter anymore. This particularly nasty scene rattled him. I'd never seen a guy his age ever look quite as terrified as he did. And I didn't think he would have liked me to see him in a weak moment as the one he was having right now. Guys were too proud to be seen as looking in such a way. I looked anywhere else but him.

We'd arrived home in less than ten minutes. Itachi must have driven over the speed limit. I'm surprised the cops hadn't caught him in the act. I would have gladly welcomed the opportunity, if anything. For about a minute or so - maybe less; the silence stretching on seemed to have made it seem even longer - the three of us remained in the car. Itachi's reason was because he was trying to sort everything out in his head. Me and Naruto's reason was because we were just both too afraid to get out of the car first before my own brother. So, one could imagine the relief when he told us to depart the car. Of course, though, he said it in a more rude tone. Mostly directed to Naruto, actually. But I still felt the need to escape from him either way. Still, he clutched onto my arm with such brute force that I was obligated to do so.

"You stay in the car. I don't want another episode." He snapped at me, then stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him at the same time Naruto shut his.

The sound reverberated in my ears, mostly blocking out the muffled sounds of their heated conversation. Itachi was actually the only one shouting, though. No doubt about that. But Naruto didn't say a thing. He just stood there and listened. He took it. I just wanted to get out there. I wanted to step out of this godforsaken car and tell him to stand up for himself, to tell my brother to shove it. I couldn't stand the fact that Itachi was treating him like trash. I mean, I know he hated him and all, but that still gave him no right. He didn't even know him. Okay, I didn't either, but, hey, let's be honest here, I had more contact with Naruto in my own high school life than Itachi probably ever did in his whole stupid college life… Well, okay, no, not really. But I'd gotten more action! Yeah, no, that's not true either. Fine. I'm going to be totally honest.

He's just jealous. He's just crazy mad with jealousy. Yeah, that's what this whole thing was that made him so freaking pissed… I think. He hasn't gotten laid in so long that it just irks him so bad that his overweight little brother can get someone as hot as Naruto. Sure, he's not into guys. But I'd bet anyone would be pissed too if someone unattractive got someone way out of their league, someone way hotter than the sun's core before they did, right? I'm right, right? And you people know it. He's just mad because he hasn't gotten anyone like Naruto in a while. Not that I would know, of course, but that's what I think. He hasn't brought a girlfriend to the house since forever. Actually, come to think of it, he hasn't talked about any girls at all lately. I'm starting to think he's gay now. Maybe that's why he hates Naruto so much for absolutely no reason at all. Because he likes him! I mean, come on, he lists a whole bunch of things he dislikes about Naruto. Obviously that's got to mean something. There's no other liable reason as to why he would just list a bunch of things he hated about him in the first place. Oh, yeah, the hypothesized information I found myself assuming was just too juicy. I doubted any of it was at all true.

I looked out the window. Itachi was still shouting at him. He even had the audacity to push him. Naruto didn't push back. He wasn't even looking at him. Not the smartest or most effective move to do around my brother. Itachi got angrier. He punched him across the face. That was the last straw for me. Screw what he said about staying in the car!

"Fuck…" I heard Naruto say as I came to him. He was cradling his jaw, flexing it, a very weak attempt to ebb any and all the pain away. Judging by how hard my brother hit him, I hardly think doing that would ease anything.

"Come inside. We got to get some ice on that." I said quietly. Naruto took a step forward to the house, but Itachi stopped me, the light of the moon accenting his fury a considerable amount.

"You're not going anywhere with him alone, Sasuke. Get back in the car." My brother growled at me, yanking at my forearm. Back into the car. I yanked away forcibly.

"I'm not going in alone, stupid. Mom and Dad are home." I snapped. Of course, that was another thing not to do when Itachi was around.

He grabbed my forearm again and yanked me away from Naruto… but, around this time, Naruto was quick to act. Or, more likely, his fist was. The sound his fist made when it smacked into my brother's jaw was sickening. I couldn't block it out. He didn't break it, no, but it almost sounded like he did. I watched as Itachi stumbled for a while, struggling to grasp what had happened in the past second. The pain didn't even seem to affect him, though. He got his balance back. Then, everything seemed to happen so fast. He attacked Naruto. They started hitting each other so hard. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. What could I even do? I couldn't get in between them. They were hitting so hard. They were bleeding. I was panicking. Nobody had ever had a fist fight in front of me. Because of me. My heart pounded in my ears. I screamed for my mom and dad over the smacking of fists against flesh. I only hoped my call for help was loud enough. It was. They poured out of the house, alarm alert on their faces as they saw my brother and Naruto fighting. Dad tried to pull them apart. Mom comforted me as I watched this whole horrifying scene with tears in my eyes.

How could I have let this gone from innocent to worse? How was it possible that I started any of this? I wasn't even attractive enough for any of this to be happening to me. This was just far too much. I never experienced so much drama in my life ever before. My mind was bordering on overload. I was getting emotional. I didn't know how to handle it. I couldn't handle it. My heart pounded in my skull as Itachi was pulled away from Naruto. He hardly had a scratch on his face or anything; he was clean. Of course. Naruto didn't even try to hurt him. He didn't want to. Couldn't even if he tried. But Itachi wasn't afraid to inflict pain at all.

Naruto was on the ground. And he looked like hell. His face was messed up pretty bad. His lip was bleeding. His right eye was already swelling. He had so many bruises on his face. He was in pain from head to toe. His face wasn't the only thing Itachi hurt. He obviously had trouble getting up. I rushed over to him. I helped him as much as I could. Tears were streaming down my face. God, why was I so friggin' emotional?

Itachi was being held back by my dad as I led Naruto in the house. Mom followed after us. She went to the fridge. She took out an ice pack. I took it. I pressed it over his swelling right eye. He hissed. Outside, Itachi yelled. Dad tried to calm him. It was no use. I tried to block it out.

Mom didn't ask questions about who Naruto was or how the whole fight started. She didn't say a thing. As soon as she saw how I tended to him, she took the hint. She knew what it was before I said anything. She met my gaze once and smiled lightly, trying to ease my strained emotions. I smiled back hesitantly. She left outside to help Dad. And Naruto and I were left alone. Itachi noticed this. He screamed even louder. He was losing control. Naruto was in pain, but he was still shaken up by my brother's fury. I could tell he had no desire to stay for even a second more. He removed the ice pack from his eye and handed it to me, then stood from the stool I settled him into.

"I… I should go. I can tell I'm obviously not wanted here… So. Yeah…" He murmured, and was just about to head out the door and into the darkness to where Itachi still lurked, still screaming at us. About us.

I clutched onto his arm. Carefully. I didn't know whether or not he was in pain anywhere near that area. He stared at me. And his blue eyes suddenly sparkled with something. I couldn't quite figure out what it was that made it seem so, but I knew it was some sort of deep emotion. Was it for me? Directed at me? Because of me? Or because of Itachi? Was he mad? Or in pain? No shit, duh.

"I'm sorry about… everything. Mostly Itachi. I honestly didn't think he'd go crazy over something like this…" I said, shaking my head, still trying to block out the screaming and yelling outside.

The tears still streamed down my face. A never ending waterfall of tears, it seemed. He wiped away what he could with his thumb. His hand was bigger than my face. It was amazing how I was so big, yet I had the hands of a woman. All fragile-looking and stuff. Compared to his, it was obvious who would dominate who in the relationship. I blushed at the thought and at the way he cradled my face. I rested my hand over his. For a moment, there was silence, save for my brother screaming his lungs out outside, fighting against my parents' restraints that they held over him, but we lingered in it. In our moment. He kissed at the corner of my lips, head tilting to the side only slightly. His lips brushed softly against my own for the briefest of moments. My eyes slid shut as did his. And I was tempted to bring my lips up to meet his, but I wasn't about to do the same stupid mistake of doing that once more. Look where it brought the night. A fight, tears, and a fucked up first date of mine.

I pulled away from him.

"I understand where he's coming from, you know?" He suddenly said. I looked at him. He had a faraway look in his eyes when he stared at me. I was confused. "Your brother. Why he went all crazy." Oh. He sighed. "You're his little brother. He has to protect you from people. Protect you from people who he thinks will hurt you. Which is basically everyone in his eyes. In any older brother's eyes. Full brother or half-brother, it doesn't matter. I mean, to tell you the truth, I feel the same about Sakura going out with a guy. I don't see her all that much, yeah, but she's a girl. And there are a lot of guys everywhere. I've seen the way they look at her sometimes. She doesn't notice - always has her head in the clouds - but she knows I'm watching out for her. She doesn't like it. Nobody likes their older brother looking out for them, but sometimes…" He looked deeply into my eyes now. He played with my fingers for a while, mulling the lot of his conversation over. He chuckled. "Sometimes brothers - other than mothers, of course - know best." His point of view made sense, but it still didn't make me any less mad at my brother for ruining what was supposed to be a great night for me. Naruto noticed that his little speech did nothing for me. He linked his fingers through mine and tipped my chin up. Those cerulean blue eyes captivated me once more as they had done so many times that I caught myself looking at him. Who knew they were so hypnotizing? Not me, obviously. They always caught me off guard. He pressed his forehead against mine. "Still, that gave him no right to handle you the way he did. But, I'm going to be honest here, I wasn't just fighting because of that… I was also fighting for your honor. I needed to make him understand I'm not just some guy who's looking to get laid. I want an actual relationship with you. I like you."

As much as that made me go weak in the knees, I couldn't understand why. Why would he want me? Like I said before, he could have had anyone else at the party, in his room, on his bed, making out with him. Anyone at all. Why did he have to choose me? Why did he have to choose me, the inexperienced fat kid with absolutely no idea how to deal with a situation like this? Why did he have to be so undeniably hot? The whole idea of this just made me so nervous. I'd never had to deal with something like this. Why now? And why with him? Really. Why was God toying with me?

I shook my head.

"You can't be serious." I murmured.

He seemed to be expecting this response. He nodded.

"I am. I've never been more serious in my life."

I shook my head again, shrugging away from him. I wrapped my arms over me. Over my fat. My self-esteem wasn't strong enough to withstand someone talking so serious with me. About a possibility of a relationship occurring between the two of us.

"I'm…" Fat. Repulsive. Socially inept. Stupid. A problem. Emotionally unavailable. Fat. Oh, yeah, I'm so fat that I feel the need to input the same reason why Naruto shouldn't be serious about what he was implying with me. "I'm… just… I'm not your type…" I found myself saying. He nodded, but didn't agree.

He crossed his arms over his chest and waved me to go on.

"'Not your type'. What exactly is my type, you think?" He asked me.

I was confused. Was this a trick question? Was there a right answer or a wrong answer? What would happen if I said the wrong answer? What was the wrong answer? I mean, wasn't it obvious? Didn't he see what I saw? Was he just playing with me?

"Well, don't you usually fall for the… I don't know… the pretty boys?" That got a laugh out of him.

"God, no. They're pretty, yeah, but their personality is just the worst than that of a carrot."

My brows furrowed.

"Carrots have personalities?"

"No. But that's exactly what I mean." He stepped closer to me, practically closing the space between us. I didn't dare look at him. I didn't want to be sucked into those endless orbs of deep blue again. I settled for staring at the way his lips moved. Oh, yeah, much better. "I don't like people that don't have personalities. You have one. I like yours. Your personality is just… It's beautiful." The corners of his lips quirked up. A blush suddenly gathered in his cheeks. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" Talk about changing the subject.

The very mere mention of the word 'love' had me at a loss for words. Personally, I'd never been in love. I couldn't even say I believed in it. Much less, stand to say or hear the word, unless I really meant to say it in the first place. But, then again, knowing me, I didn't love myself. How could I ever learn to love anyone else? It was physically impossible for me. I mean, I was a very complex person. I had very many mixed definitions about the word 'love'. I couldn't decide on one that really described what I thought. If I had to choose one, though, I'd have to go with the word 'realist'. It sounds cynical, I know, but I didn't have much of an opinion about the word. I guess I had to be in love to grasp the full meaning of it.

I was just about to give my response when, all of a sudden, I heard the screech of tires, then… silence. Itachi was gone. My mom and dad walked in through the door. Naruto stepped away from me. I did the same, leaning against the counter, trying to look as normal as possible. It wasn't easy. Especially when you had someone like Naruto staring at you nonstop.

"Oh, God, son, are you all right? Put some ice on that, because, okay, I'm not going to lie… You look like hell!" Ah, classic Dad. Always pointing out the obvious.

Naruto laughed, tearing his gaze from mine reluctantly as he took the ice pack my dad offered him. My mom saw the exchange of looks between us. She didn't say anything, but I knew she wanted to say something - anything - about it. Dad leaned on the counter next to me, tilting his head to the side as he spoke.

"What did you say to Itachi out there to get him so riled up?" He questioned. I looked at Naruto, silently asking him not to say anything about us. Naruto complied. He settled for speaking about the truth instead.

"Nothing. He just naturally hates me. Wants to get a good punch in me every now and then." He joked lightly, shedding some light on the dark subject.

My dad laughed. "This kid's a joker! Even in the darkest of times! Perfect for you, Sasuke! You need more humor in your life nowadays!" I mocked him, sticking my tongue out, but the mere mention of my dad saying Naruto was perfect for me made me blush. The adrenaline rush with Itachi must have messed with his head.

"Okay, Dad, enough. He has to go home. He's had a long day." He has, but I just didn't want my dad to be putting me on the spot like he was doing so now.

I grabbed Naruto's arm and yanked him out of the kitchen and out into the darkness before my Dad had anything else to say. God, was it possible that even in the dark his eyes seemed bluer to me? Maybe it was just my imagination. The porch light wasn't on, so being in the dark with Naruto alone like this made me uneasy.

"Your dad's nice." He said quietly as we both made our way to his car. I nodded, not really knowing how to continue the conversation. Why was I so quiet? Maybe now that I knew we were truly alone, I didn't know how to act. Walking and talking like this with Naruto was still so new. "So… you didn't tell me what your answer was."

I looked at him. "What do you mean?"

He smiled shyly. A lopsided smile. The blush returned.

"Love at first sight."

The word made me nervous. I went blank. I didn't know. But I wasn't going to leave him hanging. I had to come up with something witty. Exactly the way they did in movies. Oh, yeah, in the movies; I was a great believer of them. The main character said something witty and the second main character would laugh and fall in love with her more and more with the snarky responses he'd receive. I doubted something like that would get Naruto, but, hey, anything was possible. Even with him. Especially with me, though.

I smiled and those blue eyes shone brighter as I did. He took a step closer. I didn't know if my parents were watching, but I knew I wasn't about to pass a moment like this. I never would. I took a step closer as well. Our noses were practically touching. He rested the ice pack he held against his swollen eye on the roof of the car.

"I'll let you know." I answered, smirking.

Blue eyes twinkled. "Yeah? Well, I'll prove you wrong."

Witty banter. One could never go wrong with that. It always led someplace good.

"Really now? How so?"

The next move he took was a daring one. He took my face into his palms. And now I was so sure that my parents were watching. We weren't exactly being inconspicuous about this.

"Kinda like this."

He kissed me. No, there weren't any fireworks or anything like that. But the kiss was deep. So passionate; I'd never experienced anything like it. It affected me in the most positive of ways. It made up for everything that happened tonight. It cleared my mind of tonight's problems and everything thereafter. The way his body was pressed up against mine was far from raunchy; it was innocent. His hands cradled my face so gently, like if handling something fragile. Yes, it was just a kiss. But it was better than anything else in the world.

Even food.

And, coming from me, that was saying a lot.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yeah, cute. Great way to end this chapter. :D I started off with angst and now I'm ending it with fluff. I am happy. Haha.

Review, please! Much would be appreciated. :)

**-With much, much adored love, KK247**


	4. Graduation

**A/N: **Another update. Praise the Yaoi Lord. Lol. Hopefully, this is good enough for the lot of you readers who were waiting. I have more writing done, but until next time. If I added anymore, it'd be 20,000+ words. Who really wants to read that much? Anyway, this isn't very interesting to read, but I'd appreciate it if you read it. It'd make me feel great. :)

All righty, peeps; enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>A whole week had gone by and the last day of school was finally here. I hadn't hung out with Sakura, Ino, or Shikamaru at all during that time. I caught glimpses of them when we passed each other in the hallway. We said hi and goodbye and cried into each other's arms about our last day of school together, but that was it. We didn't stop to talk or anything. We wanted to, but it was the last day of school. Students were already anxious enough to leave and the seniors had to go to their graduation rehearsal. They had to run by what they were going to do at the actual ceremony, so I wasn't going to get a chance to talk anymore to Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru. I mean, yeah, we were going to hang out during the summer - we promised one another - but they know I'm not the type of person to stick to a promise, especially if it's keeping touch with someone over the summer. To be honest, I like to cut all communication off during that time. I'm not very social. Even if it's with my own friends. I have other friends and acquaintances rather than just them three, but they were the only ones I was so painfully close with. We were all like a quartet. We never went anywhere without each other. It sounds crazy, I know, but we were really that close. Of course, though, there's another girl around here in the same grade as I am, Hinata, that I'm almost as close to than just my senior friends, although not quite close enough as Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru. Hinata's a quiet girl, perfect for my type of persona, but that was also a problem; she rarely talked. Sakura and Ino, though, talked like it was required, like it was oxygen to them, and I liked that about them. Although I know Shikamaru is a guy that doesn't like to talk much as well, whether it's just for one sentence or one word, he always has something interesting prepared to say by the end of the day. It doesn't even matter if it makes sense or not. That's why those three are my best friends and them leaving forever from this school, from where both Ino and Shikamaru and I all met, was heartbreaking. This school was the start of it all. The foundation of our everlasting friendship.<p>

This whole week was about them. I was dedicating this whole week to them leaving. Everyone was. After all, the class of 2011 was the best of the best after all. So Sakura said. And all the other seniors. Bunch of egotistic bastards the class of 2011 are. What about class of 2012? Yeah, okay, we graduate in the same year as the world ends - and, no, I don't believe in that; what idiot would? - but, still, they're no better than us, I bet. Am I right? Oh, yeah, I know I'm right.

The end of the last day of the year is coming to a close. Only three minutes are left. Everyone's anticipating. Waiting. There are girls crying. Boys are horsing around. Some are crying, yeah, but they're all too manly to cry aloud like the girls are. Laughter. Sadness. In the same room. Everyone's happy and sad and relieved for the last day of school. I'm actually not. I'm taking my time with the final exam the teacher has assigned me. Yeah, I know, final exam plus last day of school equals total bummer, I know. I'm actually having this teacher again next year for college credit. This is in fact the final exam that puts me in a pickle, the final exam that determines whether or not I'm capable of college credit classes. Am I dedicated? Hardly, but if doing this puts me in the right direction of getting into a good college with college credit classes, then, yes, yes, I am. Have I ever really done anything college-related in my life before? Other than making out with Naruto, no, I don't think I have.

Speaking of which, ever since Saturday I haven't gotten a call from him. At all. Well, I have, from Sakura's phone, but that actually was Sakura calling me. Naruto hadn't stayed connected with me ever since. I mean, yeah, our date - if one could even call it that - wasn't a very memorable. At least for him, I understand. He got the pulp beat out of him by my own brother. I could see why he wouldn't call. He was terrified for his life. Still, though, I mean, he told me he didn't just fight with my brother because of the way he treated me. He fought for my honor. I believed it at the time. I wasn't so sure of it now. I was suddenly starting to believe in Itachi's words. He probably was just like all the other guys. Maybe he did just want one thing in life… then again, I hadn't given such a thing to him. I only kissed him. Like, a lot. But, I mean, isn't that exactly what someone's looking for in life? Just someone to kiss? Not to have sex with? Of course, it's not everyone's thing. Definitely not mine, the whole idea of sex. Kisses were much better in my opinion. People craved them. Went crazy for them. The thought of it sounded bad in my head. Come on, just for a simple kiss? Crazy, yeah, but believable enough. Still. Was that all Naruto wanted from me? A kiss? And then he'd just forget about me? God, what a jerk…

The bell rang. Everyone ran out of the classroom. The school year was over. I still hadn't finished my final exam. I sighed. It was all because I was distracted by stupid Naruto. Damn. Why hadn't he called? Its been a week. I flipped through the pages of the exam. How many questions had I even answered?

"Sasuke? Are you done?"

I looked up, startled. Kakashi Hatake, the best English teacher in the world, was looking down at me, speculating me. And my test. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose. He pushed them back up.

I shook my head.

"I don't know. I was… no. I haven't. I still have, like, two whole pages left. Sorry." I avoided his gaze. He was too close. And, for an English teacher, he was pretty hot, which made his proximity all the more intimidating. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. My ears burned as well. I bowed my head and rested my head on my hand. At least to cover the throbbing heat of one ear. I'll only be half-embarrassed, right?

"Bah, Sasuke, don't even worry about it. It's not like it's a test that determines whether or not you're worthy enough to live." It sure felt like it. "Crazy enough that you're in the running for your last year of high school. Either way, I think you're superior material for college credit classes, tested or not. To be honest, I hardly seemed to think you needed to take this flimsy test in the first place." He tossed the test across the room. I stared at it longingly. Motherfu - If he thought I didn't need to take it, then why did he force me? I glared at him, my mouth parting, ready to argue. He beat me to the punch before I got so much as a sound out. "I needed something to fill in your final grade for the year, okay? If you must get angry with someone, I'd blame the school's system. Now get out of here. Enjoy your summer, and I'll see you next year."

I gather my stuff up and throw back a farewell over my shoulder. He waves me out, pushing his glasses back up to where they belonged, and burying his nose in his porn novel to which he so graciously looked forward to until the end of the day today. He had a whole summer to focus on reading his porn novels. He was happy for now. I snicker at the thought, shaking my head. Best English teacher in the world, am I right? Oh, yeah, I'm right. As I walk out into the hallway, I notice it's much too quiet. Everyone has left the building. It feels as though I'm the only kid left here in this school. At the paranoid thought, I try to get out of the school as quickly as possible. Sure enough, everyone's outside. Everyone's saying goodbye to each other. To their friends whom they might never see again. I don't say goodbye to anyone. Mostly because I don't have friends. Well, only just the one named Hinata, but she's nowhere to be found at the moment. However, knowing her and her abnormally large fear of crowds and that of her job, of course, she's probably already left. Besides, my brother was here anyway.

…Wait a minute. My brother's here? Ah, shit. Now let me back it up here. Okay, ever since the date on Saturday, the date in which my brother almost beat Naruto down to a pulp, he hasn't really been home. For about a week. The same time in which Naruto hasn't called me. Not going to dwell on that. Moving on. Anyway, I'm going to be honest here, not having my brother at home was great and all, despite the idea I don't really get to go anywhere. My mom and dad are being way too strict with my punishment. They're not backing up on it at all. And to suddenly see my brother here, picking me up from my last day of school really just messes with my head. I don't even feel like moving from my spot. I'm frozen by utter shock. My brother notices, of course. He honks now. Repeatedly. But he doesn't even look at me. He's staring straight ahead, and, even as the distance between us stretches on to what seems like forever, I still notice he's got a purpling bruise forming under his eye. He didn't have any bruises when Naruto hit him or anything. Maybe he did, but I probably just didn't take the time to notice. Still, though, I don't even want to think about that night.

My feet are moving towards my brother's car now. My heart's hammering against my chest like a jackrabbit on crack. My palms are sweating. I'm sweating. I'm shaking. I'm getting nervous. Crap, crap, crap. I had to get it together. Put my game face on. I had to be strong. I couldn't bail out on my brother just like that. I couldn't be afraid of him after all that happened on Saturday. I'm sure Naruto wasn't afraid. I had to be cool. Come on, come on. Be cool, Sasuke. Just get in the car. Don't look at him. Don't talk to him. Keep the peace. Be invisible. Just like at school.

Itachi's driving now. And, to be honest, the silence is killing me. It's so loud. I could always shove my earphones into my ears and listen to music the whole ride home. That was rude, though, and I didn't want to anger him any further. I wanted to say something to him. Anything at all. But what the hell was I going to say to him? What could I say to him? Our brotherhood was broken. Not that we would ever consider ourselves close enough to build a brotherhood over the years, like, seriously, we weren't exactly big fans of one another as time passed us by. Still, though, the least I could do was apologize for the lack of information I failed to provide him with. I'm sure that's what he was mad about. That, and maybe because Naruto was years older than me too. Maybe. I didn't know how to initiate a conversation with him anyway. It was so hard. Itachi was unpredictable. What would he say to me when I'd instigate the first words of conversation after a week of ignorance stretching between us? Would he tell me to fuck off, when I knew he clearly had no right to tell me that? Or would he welcome my words - any words I spoke - with open arms? We hadn't spoken for a full week. I mean, I didn't miss him or anything. It was peaceful around the house. Still, though, it felt awkward around there. Nothing really feel right at home anymore. And I question myself once more as to why he suddenly picked me up from school today. Had he forgotten all about it, I wondered. I doubted it.

I sneak a few glances at him. He doesn't. He absolutely wants nothing to do with me. I mean, I have no problem with it or anything, but it really bothers me. Doesn't he want to talk to me? Isn't he my brother? Shouldn't he love me unconditionally? I looked at him again. His knuckles are turning white the harder he grips onto the steering wheel. Tightening harder and harder. His jaw clenches. He's going to say something. He has to.

"Sakura's graduation is tomorrow, right?" He asked softly, but even the soft tone of it echoes in my ears ominously. I nodded. He nods as well as confirming this. What else is he going to say? Is he going to bring up the events of last Saturday up? About Naruto? About himself? About me? His disappointment in me? About anything?

But, no. He doesn't say anything else. The rest of the ride home is silent. I want to say something else. But it's already too late anyway. We're home. He's not staying, I can tell. He's leaving the ignition on, but he's not getting out. He's waiting for me to get out. I can't.

Our relationship is strained, I notice. We're not saying much. I mean, we didn't say much before, but at least we made an effort. I want to make an effort. I have to. We didn't have to be like this. I hated being like this. And I'm sure he hated being like this, too. He's my brother. He loves me. He has to. He should love me. I love him. I want to make everything right. So, believe me when I say that I can't help leaning over to him to hug him. But I feel like crying. Not because he's not hugging back, but because he is. With exactly the same force I'm hugging him with. If anything, it's probably double the force than with what I'm pressing against him. I feel his lips kiss the top of my head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it on Saturday." He murmurs. He means it. It brings tears to my eyes. I hug him harder. It's uncomfortable in this angle. But I don't care. I bury my face in his shirt. I'm shaking with the tears that are gushing out from my eyes. He shushes me. He comforts me. He hasn't done that in a while. In a week. His palm presses against my hair, smoothing it out. "I'm really sorry, Sasuke. It's just… well, you're my baby brother. And it's Naruto. He's twenty-one. You're seventeen. He's in his last year of college. You're still in high school. You're not even a senior yet. You shouldn't even have been in that party. You shouldn't even have gone out with him." I pull away to look up at him. He's scolding me? Really? I thought we were going to have heart-to-heart moment. We were supposed to. I'm pulling away from him. He's staring at me, speculating me. "You have to understand how I feel, okay? You have to consider my feelings as well." His feelings? That fucking selfish bastard. I thought with the conversation that we were having that he was going to try to bring us closer together. I thought we were going to be okay after this.

We weren't now. I was mad. I feel like punching something. Like punching him. He was making all of this about him? What the hell was his problem? Didn't he care that he just possibly ruined the first happy memory I'll ever have in life about a boy ever again? He ruined my first date! Doesn't he acknowledge this? He's ruining my life!

"This isn't all about you, Itachi." I say through my teeth, gaze hardening. He's taken aback. He doesn't realize what he's done, I believe. Don't play dumb now, big brother. "I have a say in this, too, just so you know. I like him." At least I think I still do. Naruto hasn't called for a week. I have a feeling he doesn't like me anymore. I felt so used. I'm doubting my feelings. Itachi rolls his eyes at me. He's doubting my feelings too. I feel tears building up in the brims of my eyes. Why am I so emotional? Why can't I stop? I fight the feelings. I fight against my demons. "Yes, it was Naruto who I met at the party for the first time in my life. Yes, it was Naruto who caused these hickeys. But I started the whole thing." Not all true. He did start it first. But I continued it. "He wasn't the one to go along with it. I was. I kissed him. I invited him out. He accepted. And I was the one who kissed him first at the restaurant. And again after you left. There's nothing you can do about what I did. It's been done." This lie just seems to piss him off beyond extremes. His eyes blaze dangerously.

"He's bad news!"

Bullshit.

"In what way? You're just looking for excuses so you don't have to see me date him!" Okay, I had to relax. Keep cool, Sasuke, keep cool. Don't be a hothead like him. Relax. I take a deep breath as I speak the next words to him seriously now. I met his gaze. He was still glaring at me. I ignored it. "Why do you hate him anyway? What did he ever do to you for you to be such a dick towards him?" Not exactly keeping my cool, but, hey, it was a small step.

That obviously catches him off guard. He didn't think I would ask him a question about his life at school. About anything concerning him. Speaking of which, I never asked him about anything ever in his life before. It was a wonder, really. I remember always trailing after him desperately, trying to get his approval of something. What happened in those years? What happened to us? Why did we drift away? Was it because of me? Because of my awkward teenage years? Maybe it was just Itachi. He was growing up after all. Getting older and older everyday. Maybe I was too. I mean, yeah, no shit, I was, if I was talking about a boy and wondering what the hell Itachi's intentions and motives were in hating Naruto. Whatever he did or didn't do probably wasn't that bad. Maybe it was in Itachi's eyes. But who knew? I didn't, if I was asking.

He shakes his head and looks from me, resting his hands upon the steering wheel as his jaw sets.

"That's none of your business."

I scoff at him.

"So, any meddling about me and my life on your part is your business? And my asking about your life is none of my business now? That's not fair, Itachi."

"Life is never fair, Sasuke."

Now it was my turn to be pissed beyond extremes. If he expected me to tell him everything about my life, then I expected just the same. And if he wasn't going to give me that, then I wasn't going to give him anything else about me. Despite the fact that I already told him basically everything. The tears seem to double at the thought. My vision blurred.

"Fine. Go fuck yourself, then."

And, with that, I escaped from the car, slamming the door shut with double the force of my frustration and anger exerted on the piece of metal crap of a door. I would have expected him to take off immediately, but he didn't. I'd never said those words to him in my life ever before, so I could only guess as to why he hadn't taken off so suddenly. He was in shock as I was. We weren't all that close, but, still, just saying those words to him… it must have hurt him. It would hurt anyone and everyone. Hell, it hurt me. And I was the one who said them and all. It hurt me, either way. I wasn't a robot to let such words go by unnoticed. I regretted them instantly. What if he hated me afterwards? And would continue to hate me thereafter? In the afterlife? He was capable of doing so. I had to apologize. I didn't mean them. I turned back towards the car, but, as soon as I did, he tore off, leaving only dust clouds in the midst. I'd done the damage. Another week without talking to Itachi was going underway. I welcomed the misery of the sudden turn of events. I reasoned that with my luck, my life would be going downhill from now on.

And, sure enough, it was.

I tripped on a rock.

* * *

><p>Saturday.<p>

Today was the day.

Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru's graduation day.

Today they all would finally be granted freedom from the wretched prison known as high school. I envied them. They'd have it easy from now on. They wouldn't have to worry about dress code violations or the color of their hair or about being late to class or about their sexuality. From what I heard from people who graduated, college life was easy. The classes were easy. The people were friendly. The professors were the best. High school, in other words, was drama 24/7. No one could get by quietly and without starting a fight in the midst of it all. High school was hell.

I really envied them.

We all had to get up pretty early. At least, if we wanted to attend the graduation ceremony. I dressed nicely. As did my parents. We all sat in the front row. Close enough to smell the sweat of the 2011 graduates. Gross, but believable enough. The familiar graduation theme song pumped through the sound system in the arena repeatedly. Memoirs and senior class portraits - along with their baby pictures as well, to much of the seniors' greatest dismay - displayed on the big screen opposite our side. Videos from last football season played alongside them. Pictures from the yearbook were displayed as well. The mere memories of the last year I had spent with my three best friends were displayed as well. It brought tears to my eyes. I was beginning to cry even before the graduation ceremony started. Even so, the graduation was already starting. Graduates poured out from behind the curtains. A new song poured from the sound system. Softer. They all formed a line as they went to stand by their seats, all alphabetically. If I wasn't mistaken, I was sure that there were about 675 senior graduates, the largest class in all of Konoha High. There would have been more had it not been for the dropouts this year. Probably about a hundred more.

It took about ten or fifteen minutes for all the graduates to come pouring out. I saw Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru, all separately, of course. Alphabetical, remember? I waved madly at them. I blew kisses at them. I cried for them. They laughed at me. But only to cover up their own tears about such a wonderful day that was happening in their lives. By the time the last graduate stepped out, it seemed as though a held breath escaped from everyone's mouth and echoed in the arena, but, still. We weren't done just yet.

The principal welcomed everyone to the glorious event of the 2011 graduates and welcomed the board members of the education system. Even as she spoke those first words, those words simply brought more tears to my eyes. I couldn't believe their graduation day was here. It seemed as though just yesterday we all were going through the hardships of high school. Who was I going to hang out with during lunch now? Who was going to walk me to my classes nowadays? What was going to become of them? Of us? Of our friendship? What would happen to me now that they were gone from school? Oh, just thinking of the sudden empty hallways of next year opened a hole in my heart.

The valedictorian made his speech. He joked about the good old days and reminisced about the accomplishments the class made. The college hours they put in. The volunteer work they all pushed for. Then he made a speech about the class being that alike of a wolf pack. How everyone fended for themselves, and how everyone suddenly came together and made each other stronger, no lie. He really brought light into the sorrowful day with such a speech that I was sure he ripped off a movie. Nobody cared, though. Everyone actually cheered. They laughed at such words. But then he got serious again and reminisced about his four years at beloved Konoha High School, of the many obstacles and ridicule he received for many reasons. He fought through it. He didn't care. He was strong. He got over it. It made him stronger.

Everyone was already clapping before he ended his speech and even more after.

Now, mind you, I won't give you all the boring details of such an event. If you had to sit through an hour of that, then I don't think you'd be able to handle three more hours of graduates' names being called out all in one sitting. Oh, yeah, that's how long this graduation ceremony took. Horrible. But totally worth it.

Sakura's last name was Haruno; she was the first one to graduate from the three best friends. As she arrived on stage to receive her diploma, she did a little dance - typical Sakura, of course - and shouted, 'Finally!' at the crowd. Everyone in the arena seconded that. They whistled and cheered and clapped for her. She took her picture with the board members and practically danced off the stage.

Shikamaru Nara was the second one of the best friends to graduate. He didn't make a big show about his graduation status, but Sakura and Ino did. As well as his family. And, well, me, of course. By the time he got off the stage, he shot a thumbs up at the camera, holding up his fake diploma, grinning.

Ino Yamanaka was the last of the best friends to graduate. She made a huge show about it. She fist pumped her way to get her diploma. Did the same little dance that Sakura did, if only a bit more risqué, of course, knowing her. She couldn't stop smiling. She wouldn't stop moving. Wouldn't stop jumping. She was so happy.

I cried in joy at the sight and clapped so hard for the my three best friends that finally graduated. I was so afraid my hands would fall off. I didn't care. This was the happiest day of my life. Albeit it wasn't even my day to begin with.

The principal came to the podium once more. This time joined by the superintendent. She spoke a few last words, then signaled for the superintendent to finish off the inauguration.

"Congratulations, Class of 2011."

With that, the graduates went wild. Despite the idea that they were told not to throw their graduation caps in the air, due to a later class taking hold of the arena in a few couple of minutes, they did so anyway. The board members and principal and superintendent allowed it. They couldn't do anything about it anymore anyhow. They were just as happy as the graduates.

Just as they came in, the graduates poured out from the arena. Outside into the real world where they now belonged. I couldn't contain my excitement. I didn't wait for my parents to catch up as I rushed outside to my best friends. They were the ones that mattered right now. It took me a while to find them, mostly because there was a shitload of other graduates blocking my view. I found Shikamaru first. I waved at him. He grinned at me. I hugged him tightly as his present. Hey, I'm cheap… and kinda poor. I can't really afford a proper graduation gift.

"How do you feel, Shika, now that you're out of high school?" I asked him. His grin widened.

"Like a man, Sasuke. Like a man. Now I can move out." This was the sentence I expected to hear from him. He'd wanted to move out since forever. With Ino, of course. Those two were inseparable, but they were so opposite.

The excitement of the crowds pushing me had me sweating already, especially with the afternoon sun pulsing against my back and neck. The closeness of such people pressing against me made me itchy and bothered me. I was feeling claustrophobic already. Shikamaru knew how I felt about crowds. He didn't like them either. He pushed me to the open area, somewhere where not many people crowded around in. He laughed.

"Damn fucking eager people, huh? It's just graduation day." Ah, Shikamaru, why didn't he get more excited about it?

"Gosh, Shikamaru, why can't you be more excited about an event like this? It's your graduation day!" I punched him on the shoulder playfully. "So, what are you going to do to celebrate?"

He shrugged.

"Nothing, I hope. But Ino wants to go out to eat with you guys. She'll violate me if I don't go."

"You'd like that, though, wouldn't you?" I laughed.

"Not so much, no. She's more violent nowadays." He laughed at this. We both knew he wasn't serious. But it was true. She was getting a bit more ballsy with him. Not abusive, but enough to make him feel less like a man. He loved her anyway, though. Still, I wondered what was with her.

However, I didn't have much time to think about it because she pounced on me from behind.

"Sasuke!" She piggybacked me for a moment, but I let her down quicker than I would have intended. She was pretty heavy. Of course, I wouldn't tell her that. I could only imagine how much more violent she'd get with me if I told her such a thing. Still, she didn't mind. She was still much too happy. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! We're out! Can you believe it, Shika? It's amazing!"

He raised his eyebrows at me, giving me a look. I shrugged.

"Yeah. It's great…"

"You don't sound excited! You should be! Our last day as high school newbatrons! We should celebrate! Let's go look for Sakura~!"

She didn't even have time for that. She crashed right into her. They giggled madly at the collision. Shikamaru did too. But I didn't. Not because it looked about as bad it sounded. Painful. No. It was because Naruto was right beside her. Looking straight at me. The bruises that decorated across his face and neck were there, the deep purple color that once brightened the pain lessened with time.

Oh, fucking hell. I forgot he'd be here. He flashed me a small smile and the bruise on his right cheek suddenly seemed to brighten. But I didn't dare return it. I looked away from him instantly. Did he honestly think that a smile like that one would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? That it would make me forget that he didn't call me after that night? No. All right, maybe just a little. His smile is pretty convincing. Still, I wasn't going to allow myself to be played around with. I wasn't a toy. I was a human with feelings. And this human was feeling pretty angry at this moment. I put it all aside as soon as Sakura directed her attention my way. Her face brightened immediately as our gazes met.

"Hey! You're here!" She practically screeched at me. She wound her arms around my neck, squealing girlishly. I laughed, the feeling of it releasing all of what I felt for Naruto immediately. She always made me feel better, even if she never tried. Or even knew it. She released me and looked deep into my eyes. "I thought you weren't going to come."

I scoffed.

"Please. And miss my three best friends' graduation day? God, no! What kind of guy do you take me for?" She laughed.

"The best kind!" At this, Naruto cleared his throat. She looked over her shoulder briefly, then looked back at me, her cheeks pink. She pulled away and readied herself to introduce him. I almost forgot that she didn't know Naruto and I knew each other. That we made out at a party, that we almost did it, that we went out on a failure date, that I was the reason he got all those bruises. What did he tell her, I wondered. What was the story she seemed keen on believing? I didn't even want to know. Naruto was too much of an expert on lying. And keeping false promises. "Sasuke, um, I want you to meet my brother… I mean, my half-brother."

In that moment, he shot out his hand to shake mine. I didn't want to touch him. But I had to. It'd be rude if I didn't shake his hand. So I did. His smile grew. His blue eyes twinkled under the light of the afternoon sun. Why did he insist on doing that? This wasn't helping his case. I returned the smile, nonetheless, with much hesitance.

"Sakura's told me a lot about you. You're her best friend, well, other than these two -" He signaled to Shikamaru and Ino. They smiled softly. He turned back to meet my gaze. Those blue eyes of his were just insistent on twinkling my way. Yes, just me. No one else seemed as mesmerized as I looked. "You're the one who knows most of her deepest, darkest secrets, right? You're the closest one to her?" Of course I was. How could you doubt that, Naruto? However, about the secrets part I wasn't so sure. Sakura didn't talk much about her personal life. I looked over at her. She was blushing and smiling at me. It was a peculiar sight. I could have laughed, but I wasn't in the mood to do that with him around. Naruto could obviously see that. But I just knew he wasn't going to stop smiling at me or stop making those blue eyes of his twinkle my way. Still, enough was enough. He knew. "All right, well, I've actually got to get going now. Have a job interview to get to. It was nice to meet you, Sasuke. I hope we'll see a lot more of each other later on in the future." Maybe when you actually start calling me. Yeah, keep hoping, asshole.

He shot out his hand once more and I shook it reluctantly. He held onto me for a second longer, those deep blue eyes just doing their thing. He licked his lips, and I stared at them, the memories of last Saturday and Friday flitting through my mind briefly. I shook my head out of my trance and blushed madly as he grinned. That cocky bastard. He did that on purpose!

"Really nice to meet you." With that, he released my hand, then turned over to Sakura and embraced her tightly. "Congrats, sis. I'll see you at home, all right?" She nodded. He kissed her cheek, then he left without even so much as a backwards glance my way. Not that I expected him to, but it would have been nice. Would have given me hope. Would have also probably given him another chance. Not that he didn't have one already.

…Don't judge me, all right? He's friggin' hot. You probably would have given him a ton of chances, even when knowing that he'd ditch out on calling you. Oh, don't shake your head; you know you would. Hell, I was doing that right now. Yeah, maybe he'd never call. Maybe he didn't even like me from the start. Maybe he was just like all the other guys. And, yeah, maybe I was stupid for waiting for him to call or something when I knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, especially with Sakura around.

Wait.

Did she even know about anything? Did he even tell her anything? Any miniscule detail at all? Or about those bruises? What lie did he make up for her? Did she believe any of it? And, even if he did tell her about everything, she was pretty good at hiding at her not knowing anything about what happened between us. I looked over at her. How much did she know, I wondered. Did she even know anything at all? She stared back at me sheepishly. Ino and Shikamaru watched the both of us.

"I meant to tell you, Sasuke. But… I didn't know how to break it to you." She explained about as softly as she could, and, even with the commotion of the crowds, I could still hear her.

"They knew before I did?" I signaled to Ino and Shikamaru. They both nodded. Sakura did as well. I was slightly taken aback. "I thought I was your best friend. I thought I was supposed to know before them."

"You were, but… you're my oldest friend, Sasuke; I didn't know how you would take it. I've only known them for a couple of years. I've known you all my life. I know how you are."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to."

"I'm all about full frontal attack, Sakura. I'm an expert at shock with you. You should know that by now."

"I do, but -"

"But nothing. You know me. You could have just told me." She was blushing a soft pink now. Obviously, it was hard enough for her in just telling me like this. On her graduation day. She didn't know how I would take it. But I knew I had to take it how she'd expect me to. Or not. I mean, I already knew. The shock of this whole situation was gone long before when Naruto told me. My shock from this was already wiped clean for about a week. Still, Sakura didn't seem at all convinced. I snickered. "Did you expect me to go on an all-out Reptar rampage? Breaking stuff because you didn't tell me one detail about your life?"

"Well, it's a pretty big detail about my life…" I shook my head at her.

"Come on, I'm not even mad. When you steal my French fries, that's when you'll know I'm mad. For that, I will rip you to pieces." She knew I wasn't serious about ripping her to pieces, but, then again, when it came between me and food, it was no joke. She laughed anyway.

"I know." She giggled. "I know."

I scoffed at her, pushing her lightly. She smiled half-heartedly.

"Then you've got nothing to worry about, Haruno. I'm okay about this. So you've got a half-brother? Big deal. I've got Itachi; he's about ten times as worse than I bet your half-brother will ever be." Probably not even true at all. But even so, at the mere mention of my brother's name, I felt tears prick my eyes. About the words I said to him yesterday. Was he here? I pushed the memory of yesterday away and of the thought of him being here. I couldn't stand in hearing those words repeat in my mind. I pushed a smile to ease through my lips. "Anyway, he's nice." So far, I want to add. "I look forward to seeing more of him later on." God, why did I have to say that? I didn't want to. Why did I have to fucking say that?

To this, she suddenly squealed.

"Great! Because we're all eating with him later on! All of us! He's staying here! He's going to live here with me and my family! Thank you, Sasuke!" She embraced me, but the words echoed in my ears nonstop. My arms wrapped around her loosely. This could not be happening to me.

Shit.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I told you. If you thought it was as boring as I did, y'all should tell me. I know it wasn't my best work, but I tried. :D Oh, and all that about the graduation - the wolf pack and 675 seniors and people doing all that crap on stage - that really did happen at my graduation. It was the best thing ever. Haha. Aw, I miss being in high school! D: Lol.

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated by my nostalgic self. XD

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	5. Boyfriend

**A/N: **Ooh, look at that, I'm on fire! :D Who knew I was this dedicated? I didn't. Surely, you people didn't either, so enjoy it while you can. :) Lol. Anyway, this little chapter is filled with so much fluff you'll just gag. I did a little. Haha.

Well? Why are you still reading this?

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Despite that I distracted myself with the company of my friends and celebrated their newly graduated status with champagne - compliments of the Haruno family, of course, and with my parents' permission as well - I still couldn't find it in me to shake the thought of Naruto being here with us from my mind. There he was. Sitting there. Right at the end of the table, across from me. Staring at me. Smiling at me. I argued with myself to look away from him once and for all in desire to distract myself from the thought of his mere presence at being here didn't make me nervous. Which, of course, was all to no avail.<p>

We were at Sakura's house. We didn't go out to eat anywhere after all. Our parents all forced us to stay here. We didn't complain, of course. As long as we still had time with each other. And no doubt we had enough time with each other. We laughed all night. We joked about the times we all had with the other. About ditching class to go out to eat, which, of course, made me fatter, no doubt about that. But I was a happy fat guy. Just like Buddha. So I don't think that ever really mattered anyway. We talked about how their life was before I came along. It was about just the same, only a little more boring. I suppose I made it better. That boosted my self-esteem by a lot. We laughed some more. We laughed while we ate. Our parents were all revolted by the sight, but had no complaints about it whatsoever. Naruto was still staring at me. He wasn't making my being here very easy. His presence either, nonetheless. I wanted to scream at him. To punch him. To kick him. But the bruises across his face and neck advised me not to. Still, I doubted that sort of thing would stop me.

Awesomely enough, though, we finished our food and Sakura invited us into her room. Thankfully, she didn't invite Naruto to go along with us either. It wasn't as though he was coming along anyway, but he still watched after me. He stood up around the same time that we all did as well. But he didn't follow. As he cleared off the dishes from the table to take to the sink, I couldn't fail to miss the way he watched me out of the corner of his eye, smirking. I bit my tongue and followed after my friends to Sakura's room, blushing the whole way through. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing to me. He was doing it on purpose. Did he even realize how angry he was making me feel towards him, though? Was he aware of the sudden change of atmosphere coming from me?

I pushed the thought of him away from my mind as quickly as I could. I wasn't going to worry about him the whole time I was here. My whole life didn't revolve around him, despite how obsessed I was about him at the moment. I wasn't obsessed, okay? I was angry. Still, I couldn't stop thinking up ways on how to approach him delicately for with whatever thought I seemed to think up, some violent thought to rip his self-esteem apart broke through. Goddamit, did my whole world revolve around him as of now? It couldn't. I wasn't some lovesick girl. I was a guy. A gay guy, but still a guy.

When we all poured through Sakura's room, I pushed the door closed, hopefully shutting the door closed on my thoughts about Naruto as well. Even so, his presence was still outside the room. In the dining room. Maybe in the living room. Maybe in his room. That was right next door to this room. Fuck. That bothered me a lot. I pushed him from my thoughts either way, shaking my head.

Sakura snuck in the champagne. How? I didn't know. She had some freaky ninja thing going on about her ways. She was a major badass sneak. We downed some of it greedily, passing it around like a joint. We still laughed like a bunch of idiots and talked about equally idiotic things we did in our life. Or many other idiotic things we'd all like to do later on in life, when we were all in our middle ages. We all played truth or dare, and talked about our deepest darkest secrets, and about the embarrassing things we did once in life. I had many stories about those. I was the winner out of the first round. I laughed about it anyway. It was pretty hilarious once I thought about it. We all laughed about it.

With each passing second, we all seemed to let loose about everything. Not that we never did, but we were getting in pretty deep about all the personal and intimate details we all had in our lives. That's where I stopped. I didn't have many experiences as my own best friends did. Hell, I had no experience in that area whatsoever. There wasn't anything to tell on my part, despite how much my friends badgered me about it. Okay, I mean, yeah, there was. That one time with Naruto. We didn't do anything. But we were close enough to do that. I didn't dare talk about it. That was out of the question. Sakura wouldn't approve of it. She didn't even know that we knew each other before she introduced us. And I don't think Naruto would have liked for me to tell anyone about that. I bet he was ashamed of me. Was he listening to us? Was he pressing his ear against the wall of his bedroom to listen in on whatever it was that we were talking about? To see if maybe I'd spill the beans about him and our little escapade at Sakura's graduation party? About how I almost lost my virginity to him? Oh, no. I saved myself before I said anything.

Ino wouldn't let me go, though. At least, not without saying anything about my personal life. Something disturbing about my intimate life. At that moment, I really had to pee.

"I don't have anything about my intimate life, Ino. I really don't." I tried telling her. I could feel my cheeks getting hot. Goddamit, alcohol! Why did you make me act like this? "Can we not talk about this? I really have to pee."

"No. Not unless you admit something about your sex life."

"I don't have a sex life." I argued slightly. She scoffed at me. My cheeks grew hotter. "I don't."

"You totally do, Sasuke. Tell us who the lucky guy is." Sakura cut in, suddenly giggling.

"Or don't." Shikamaru said, obviously bothered by the thought of me with another guy. Hell, I had trouble conforming to that thought myself. He had trouble with me being with a guy at all. He thought I was physically unattractive as well. And, I mean, come on, I couldn't blame him. I was a fat gay guy. Not the typical stereotype you'd find around here. It wasn't the most endearing and attractive thought.

"Thank you, Shika." I smiled at him. He only shrugged, going back to his business in finishing off the champagne. The girls didn't seem to notice. They were insistent. They wanted to know about me. About what they had thought I didn't have anymore.

"Oh, come on, Sasuke. We've heard the rumors about you." Ino chided.

"Yeah. About you and another guy at my party." Sakura added. Her grin was feral as she approached me. She cornered me against the door, with Ino right by her side. Seriously, was it getting hot in here or was it just me? My ears throbbed with heat.

Wait a minute.

Rumors? There were rumors about me? How did people even know who the hell I was? Did people even know who they were inventing these rumors about? I mean, yeah, of course they were true. At least, from what I was hearing at the moment from my two best friends, of course. How the hell did these rumors start anyway? How did anyone know about what happened at the party? Who else knew? Oh, my God…

Panic flooded throughout my body.

Did anyone know that that guy was Naruto? Did anyone know it was Sakura's half-brother?

My blood ran cold.

Did Sakura even know?

"We heard you got lucky." Ino told me.

"We heard you guys were pretty loud." Sakura snickered.

I was burning. Burning in a steaming vat of lava. Was this really happening to me? Right now? Right here in Sakura's room? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"We heard it was a 'hit it and quit it'. On your part. Is that true?"

"I would never…"

"And that he was hot! Ooh, Sasuke, you lucky duck, you!"

"Did you also get into a fight with someone? I heard that you broke his nose?"

"No, I just punched him -"

"Same thing."

"Details are all but minimal."

Oh, man. This wasn't happening.

"I got to pee!" I cried out, face burning a bright red.

I got out of there as fast as I could. I wasn't going to take this. None of those rumors were true. But why the hell did they insist on pushing them on me? They knew I wasn't that type of guy. At least, I think they knew I wasn't… I went into the restroom and peed my concern away. I sighed in relief, both to the release and to getting away from the insistent vultures known as my best friends who starved for the nonexistent gossip of lies.

Only I knew the truth, but I was not going to tell them. I knew better than to do that. I wasn't about to discover myself so early about me and Naruto. I wasn't that stupid. And I don't think Naruto was about telling anyone about us. Was he the one who told anyway? Probably not. He didn't know anyone. And the only people who knew who the hell I was weren't at the party. Well, some of them were, but they were all probably hidden away in rooms with their own little escapades like Ino and Shikamaru and Sakura were. Maybe. Just maybe.

I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror briefly. I could hardly stand to look at my reflection for more than a second either way. I was so repulsive. Unattractive. I was ugly. How could anyone invent rumors about me? Didn't they see it wasn't worth starting anything about me? About how I was a slut, enough to lose it with Naruto at Sakura's graduation party? Well, I mean I'll admit I was close enough. But, hey, I didn't do it, right? Still. Wasn't it bad enough that I was just fat? Why did people insist on being so mean?

I stepped out from the restroom, shutting the door quietly behind me as to not make much noise in allowing Naruto to discover me. But there he stood before me. Grinning. I scoffed and sidestepped him, but he double sidestepped me. He wasn't going to let me through. He had me cornered.

"What do you want?" I refused to look at him. He wasn't going to force me to, anyhow. He leaned on the doorframe of the restroom, arms crossed.

"I want to talk to you." He's going to make up excuses. He's going to want to make everything right between us. He wants me to forgive him. He knows I'm irritated with him. I wasn't even going to stay for this, despite how much I longed to be this close to him for about a week now. And now that I was this close, I wanted to get away. I started to walk from him. He stopped me, grabbing my fat wrist gently. I looked at the sight disgustedly. Why couldn't I have a skinny wrist? And why did he have to have such beautiful hands? "Please, Sasuke. I know you're mad at me, but, please, just let me talk to you. I want to explain." I did the mistake of looking into those twinkling blue eyes of his. Why did they have such a strong effect on me? Why couldn't I fight against it?

"…Fine."

My response only made those eyes of his sparkle even bluer. Brighter. I made him smile. That beautiful heart stopping smile of his. I looked away immediately. I didn't fail to notice how much more tighter his fingers encircled around my fat wrist. He dragged me along beside him, opening the door to his room.

"Come on. We need all the privacy we can get."

He pulled me away into his room, and shut the door closed behind me as I stepped in. Now, let me be clear on how absurd his room is with the lights on. Last time I remember being here, I didn't pay much attention to the décor. I mean, come on, would anyone really pay attention to anything if they were making out with a hot guy in a dimly lit room?

No.

With the colors complementing the room and strange pieces of nostalgia scattered around, one would never have expected a college guy to be residing in the space. The walls were painted a sickly orange color with white trimming on the top and lower half border of the wall. The light on the ceiling was like an orb, like a huge friggin' sun in the room. Well, not entirely, but it might as well be. The carpet took on the same ugly orange carpeting as that of the walls. To be honest, I probably would have mistaken this room for a Hostess cupcake, the orange version. No doubt about it. But, other than that, there was some color here and there. Not a substantial amount, but enough to distract the eye from the atrocious color of puke infested in this very room. Especially onto the action figures scattered across the floor as though they were recently played with. The very scene of it made me smile. Or giggle. Whatever. It was hilarious to know that a grown man still played with dolls.

"They're not dolls." He said suddenly, looking to where I was looking, flushing a deep red as he released my wrist and bended down to pick them up. As he gathered them all up in his arms, he looked at me, that same deep red still flushing upon his cheeks. He avoided my gaze as he stuffed them in a box. A toy box, probably, but he opened it and closed it too quickly enough for me to even get so much as a glimpse inside. "They were from back then. I-I haven't really been in this room for a while. It's been y-years…" He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. He avoided my gaze all the same. I felt the sides of my lips quirk up. I started to think I wasn't all that mad at him anymore. Goddamit, Naruto, you and your childlike charm!

The next thing that caught my eye was his bed. The bed that I had made out with him upon. The same bed that I almost lost my virginity in. That bed had caused my accidental meeting of this guy. It was so soft. But that's beside the point! That bed that I'm talking about - oh, my God - has cowboy bed sheets. This college guy has cowboys on his bed sheets, I want to shout to the world. Never have I met a man that has cowboy bed sheets. Never in my life did I think that my first almost intimate experience would be atop those type of bed sheets. Much less, ever meet a man who seemed prone on making me lose it. Who knew I'd be in his room for the second time? I found myself laughing aloud. I pressed the heel of my hand against my lips to stop the fit of giggles that poured from my lips. But they did so anyway. Naruto flushed harder.

"Stop it." He struggled under my gaze. Now he really knew how I felt. I found myself giggling some more.

"I can't believe you have cowboy bed sheets." I snickered, resting my hand against the sheets briefly. He whacked at my hand gently as he flushed harder and harder. I giggled some more.

"They're old. I haven't been here in a while." He argued quietly.

"Seems like they've been recently washed. Did you wash them?" I pressed the fabric against my cheek. "Mmm, soft. And they smell like fresh flowers! Is that a scent a cowboy is ever really going to get used to? Isn't he always around - oh, I don't know - the desert?"

He suddenly got a twinkle in his eye. He looked into my eyes. Those blue eyes of his… oh, my gosh, they were so pretty. And they were even prettier when they were under the influence of embarrassment. They seemed almost shy, even.

"It's because he's not just your typical cowboy. He's also a space ranger." That made me laugh. What a way to intermingle Toy Story into this. Still, I went along with it.

"Like Buzz Lightyear?"

"Oh, no, no, no. Even better than him! This cowboy's been places. All over the world!"

"Really now?"

"Yeah. He did it all in one day!"

I sat on the bed. He joined me, his knee brushing against mine. I felt my heart jolt excitedly against my chest.

"That's impossible." I said it mostly to what he caused to happen within me and to his words. He didn't notice. He was talking very animatedly about his childhood stories. I was smiling so hard at him that I almost felt my cheeks split in two.

"No, really! He has, like, some sort of teleporting machine."

"Since when do cowboys have teleporting machines?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, as if this was the most normal question in the world he'd ever receive in his life.

"Aliens."

That threw me off.

"Aliens?"

"Yeah. They lent it to him when he saved their world from exploding. Right after he saved the president."

"Now he's saving the president."

"It was his fifth time in the month saving him. He gets into a lot of trouble. Thinks he's the biggest shit around town. And, I mean, I don't blame him, he's got a nice Boogie car."

"B… Boogie… A B-Boogie car?" This was just hilarious. Having this conversation with Naruto just made me forget entirely about my being mad at him. Why the hell was I mad at him in the first place anyway? I just couldn't place my finger on it.

"Yeah. You dance while you drive."

"And you don't crash?"

"No, you do, you just got to be really alert."

"You really have an active imagination there, Naruto. You sure you haven't been here in a while?"

I shook my head at him and laughed. He laughed as well, nodding, the tint on his cheeks fading slightly. I suddenly found myself caressing my fingers through his hair. He leaned into the touch. I could smell him. God, he smelled so good. I wanted him closer. But I had to keep my distance.

Which I clearly wasn't abiding by. When did I have the sheer confidence to touch him as I was doing so at the moment? Wasn't I mad at him? I was supposed to be, right? I yanked my hand away from the softness of his spikes, blushing. I looked away. Down to where our knees touched. I scooted away. Why was I mad at him again? I didn't know. I didn't remember. But I had to play my part.

"I'm mad at you. Don't think this conversation changed anything." I found myself saying. Scolding, more likely. But I couldn't help the way he made me smile. I couldn't be mad at him for so long.

He sighed.

"Look. I'm sorry. I was trying to call you from Sakura's phone, but she's got a tight grip on it for some strange reason nowadays. She's oddly protective of it." He explained. He sounded like he meant it, and like it really was a difficult task in obtaining it. "I also tried to get your number. To no avail." He hung his head sadly, an attempt to make me laugh. To distract the thought of me being mad at him. At being mad at someone even though we aren't official. It worked slightly. I smiled. He smiled back.

He inched closer my way. I could smell him once more. His cologne. Intoxicating. My mind was incapable of forming words through my lips. They just wouldn't connect.

"If you would just give me your number, we wouldn't be having communication problems. Now, see, if I had your number, I'd probably end up calling you every day." I scrunched up my face in disapproval. "Okay, okay. Only some days. You're the kind of guy who needs his space, right?"

I nodded.

"But you're the kind of guy who's most likely to invade it?" I questioned.

He nods, shrugging slightly, laughing.

"More like molest the hell out of it."

I giggle at this.

"You're talking about me, right?"

He hesitated slightly at the question, blushing a slight red once more. He avoids my gaze. Too cute. He doesn't fit the description of that. Wasn't he supposed to be hot? Seriously. Wasn't he supposed to act like all nonchalant and stuff? Weren't all hot guys confident? And egotistical bastards? Weren't they, like, the whole enchilada? And since when was I so confident as of now? Wasn't he supposed to be the whole friggin' package of perfection? I suppose not if he's not being as confident about joking like I am. Then again, we are only human, after all.

"I was kidding." I snicker. He starts to laugh nervously. "God, you're worse off than I am! I know what you're talking about." I smile now. He smiles back, if only a little hesitantly.

"Okay, so, if I ask for your number, would you give it to me?"

Now it was my turn to flush red. He was asking for my number. I expected him to. Hell, we were talking about it just now. But excuse me if I wasn't prepared for it. Nothing or nobody in life prepared me for something like this. I'd never gotten a boy's number before. And I'd never been asked for it ever before either. How was I supposed to know what to do? What to say? Of course, I mean, I was going to say yes, but I had a problem doing it. I didn't trust my voice. I'd probably end up saying no, one way or the other. Don't ask why, I just do. So I nodded instead.

"All right, then, dial yours in. And I'll dial mine in. Here." He handed me his cell phone. I gave him mine.

In silence, we dialed our numbers in. The keypad clicked rapidly on his part and hesitantly on mine. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know whether or not it was safe to give out my number to a complete stranger who I'd only made out with once. We weren't even official yet. Would he ask me to be? I watched him as he dialed in in an all too eager action. His tongue was sticking out in a childlike fashion as he worked the keypad. The corner of my lip quirked up slightly. If he were my boyfriend, would he always act that way, I wondered. I always liked the idea of an imaginative and highly eccentric boyfriend much alike that of Naruto in my life, but, then again, those types of boys never really matured in life.

But he had ideas alike that of a romantic. And he was nice. And he truly didn't care about appearance in the least. He saw through what most people didn't. He actually had a heart. He was the embodiment of mere perfection. I couldn't help feeling so attracted to him now more than ever. I dialed my phone number in his cell far too quickly after that. As I did, I could feel my heart racing like mad against my chest. Stupid when I think about it, but I can't help the way he made me feel. The thrill he gave me. Why was I going against my morals? Against my rules?

I never approved of liking anyone older than me by more than two years. He was of legal age already. Giving my number to a stranger was out of the question as well. I mean, yeah, sure, he wasn't one for a couple of weeks or so now, but, still, I couldn't trust him just yet, right? And even so much as initiating communication with my own best friend's half-brother was forbidden to me. The very thought of this shouldn't have even crossed my mind. None of this should have even be happening to me in the first place. God was playing a trick on me, wasn't he? He just had to be. But that thought zoomed right through my mind and out of my head as Naruto placed my cell phone right back into my palm. Reality hit me like a cold slap to the face as his lips pressed against my cheek softly. So tenderly.

And then I realized it…

This was real. So very real. He was real. I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't just anyone anymore. I wasn't just fat anymore. Well, I was, but, this time? This time I was finally someone. I was finally being noticed by someone. Someone who took the time to look deeper than deep. Someone who liked me. I smiled and blushed beneath the gentle touch of his lips, and I blushed even more as they remained there for more than a second. If anything, they stayed for about two or three seconds more. Even I could feel the hesitance as he pulled away. I swallowed as our eyes met. His once bright blue eyes weren't twinkling much anymore. They took on a deeper color; indigo. They gazed into my eyes for a while, smoldering, then I saw them flicker briefly to what I thought was my lips. He licked his nervously and his eyes traveled back up to meet mine. Then he spoke.

"I know that asking this of you is probably late enough, but, hey, b-better late than never, right?" He laughed nervously. I stared at him in confusion. What was that supposed to mean? He scratched the back of his head, this time avoiding my gaze. The blush returns. Deepens. He stutters for a while before spitting anything out. For the moment, I don't even think he'll say anything. But he does… eventually. "Well, u-um, okay, so we've already done what m-most couples have done. Not everything entirely! I'm not complaining, you know? B-But it's not like I ever really was in the first place!" He says this in account to make up for the appalled look on my face. That blush seems to deepen into his skin, as though it's embroidered. He scratches the back of his head once more. His whole body shakes as he does so. "H-Hell, I don't even know how to say this. How can I say this? W-Without sounding too forward, I mean. Or desperate. Not that I am! I'm not! Well, maybe a little. Agh, that sounded bad. What I really mean to say is, well, I really like you, but it's… Aw, don't look at me like that. This is hard enough with you looking at me the way you are."

Was he trying to ask what I thought he was? I swallowed nervously. I could always help him. I mean, if he was implying what I think he was implying, then I could just help him come out and say it. To ask me. But I doubted I'd be able to. I was speechless. And I couldn't believe my luck, really. This was all too much. Who would have thought that someone would want to be with me? I didn't. I obviously thought I'd be alone forever. That I'd die alone, amass my housecats, who'll probably end up leaving me too, in the end of it all. Stupid bitches. Still, I decided to tempt the Fates. I played dumb.

"What are you trying to say, Naruto?" He didn't fall for my act of brazenness. Or at the innocent way I stared at him. He seemed to blush even more.

"You know what I'm trying to say, Sasuke. Please don't make me say it…"

I shrugged.

"Not my problem, hon. Either you try to find a way to say it, or I'm walking." I know this was a bit devious of me to demand of him. Or to even be demanding him. Or to give him the whole 'my way or the highway' crap. It wasn't my place to do so. And I wasn't like that. He knew I wasn't like that either. I suppose he had me all figured out even before he met me, which was probably why a small smile curled over his lips. A lopsided sort of smile. Crooked, but all the more charming. Maybe it was a smirk? Either way, he still wouldn't say it. However, I wasn't going to walk out the door. We both knew that that shit was a bluff. But, just then, he suddenly got this look in his eyes. Determination, was it? I didn't even have time to acknowledge much of it just yet.

Until he got down on one knee.

My eyes grew wide. My palms started to sweat. My mouth went dry. And my heart hammered against my chest so loudly I was afraid he heard. I desired to escape. Was he really going to do what I think he was? We'd only known each other for so many days! I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment yet! I'm only seventeen…

"Um, Naruto, I don't think you u-understood what I m-meant…"

"I understood perfectly. And I know that this is what you wanted. I found a way how to say it. The most direct approach I know. Movies taught me well." He grinned, taking my hand.

I blushed, suddenly wishing this was all a dream. I pinched myself. Okay, that fucking hurt. Not a dream at all. I panicked. I had to get the hell out of here. My only escape was the door - just a couple of feet away, just a little - but I knew there was no way to get over there what with Naruto blocking my way here. And holding my hand. And looking at me like that. What was he thinking? Obviously nothing now if he was doing this on a whim. I struggled to pull my hand away, but he intertwined our fingers and it became harder to twist my hand away from him. I wasn't complaining about the grip or of the hand-holding - no, I liked that - but I was dreading about the position he was in. It was uncomfortable. I'd never been approached like that. Or looked in a way that he was looking at me in the moment.

And he was grinning. Which made the situation a whole lot worse. The heat remained on my cheeks. I couldn't fight against it as I never could. That grin stretched almost maliciously against his lips, teasing and taunting me. Even more. Now I could see the resemblance between him and Sakura. Just by that grin. They both must have inherited the same beautiful grin. That same feral grin.

I urged and warned myself to escape as I blushed furiously. I was sweating. I was panicking. I was a mess. Dammit, Naruto. Stop looking at me like that, and please get off your knee; you know you're not being serious about this, I want to say. But I can't find it in me to say the words. I can't find it in me to get away. I'm locked in place.

Then…

He starts laughing. He fucking starts laughing. He releases my hand, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Was it really that hilarious what he was laughing at? What the fuck was he laughing at anyway? Panic flooded me once more. Was he laughing at me? He's still laughing. He's holding his stomach now.

Rage fuels within me.

That fucking jerk. He was! He was laughing at me!

I get up too quickly from the bed, stalk off too quickly towards the door. Too pissed off to hear Naruto suddenly spluttering behind me. Too angry to notice Naruto's fingers curling around my wrist. Or to even notice when he pulls me up against his chest. Or when he kisses me. He's been doing that a lot lately. And it's not like I don't mind it, but it's almost like his safety exit, just to keep me from being at all disturbed by him or by his attitude. Which doesn't work. Almost.

I pull away from him. Shove him away from me. He staggers back, surprised. I try to shake off the feeling of his lips, of the way they felt against my own, of the way they embedded in my mind. Into my life. Onto my lips. God, I could still feel him there. I get the urge to kiss him again. I want to grab him by his collar and kiss him until morning light pours into his room. I can't. I won't do it. I fight against it and fixate my gaze on anywhere else but him. My heart thuds against my chest insanely and my cheeks still flush that same crimson color that I've been blushing with since I encountered this guy right here. Mostly because he's still staring at me. And he's approaching me so slowly it almost feels like I'm his prey, and I don't doubt it. He has me cornered against his door.

And, trust me, I could just as easily get out, but my feet won't move. They won't obey my very commands that my mind is screaming at me.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -"

"If you're not serious about starting anything with me, then I can just leave. I'd be happy to. If you just think this is all a joke for you." I seriously thought it was. Why wouldn't it be? I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror across from me. God, I was ugly. Why would he kiss me in the first place at all? I look away into his eyes, disgusted with myself. He can't be serious about me. About any of this. He was crazy. He had to be.

But his eyes grow wide. His fingers graze against my own. I pull away. His mouth parts to speak.

"It was joke." I turn to look at him now, glaring. Everything? My hand clenches into a fist instantly. His eyes grow wide again. He shakes his hands at me, as though trying to erase what I'm thinking. "No! No, not what you're thinking! I'd never do that! I'm not that kind of guy! I meant… I was trying to lighten the mood. To make you laugh by doing what I did right now… I'm sorry. It was just a joke…" He just wanted to make me laugh? How? By humiliating me and scaring me?

"Well, it didn't make me laugh! I was terrified thinking you'd… well, that you'd do… that."

He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. Shaking his head. Almost as though terrified at the thought of it. I didn't blame him. Marriage was pretty scary.

"I wouldn't have the emotional stability to go ahead and do that. Besides, we've only known each other for a couple of days. Don't you think that'd be overstepping boundaries?" He fidgeted around as he spoke. He wouldn't look at me. Not that I could blame him. I mean, after what just happened? However, it didn't seem that way to him. "Firstly, I think that I should ask you to be my boyfriend before we start anything too serious to divulge into that. So…" He was going to ask me now, right? No joking? I could feel myself blushing. How the hell did he even ever manage to do that? He grins cheekily as I try to hide my face from him. He pulls my hand away from my face. I look into his eyes. His eyes crinkle at the sides. "It's totally understandable that you wouldn't want to after what I did, but, judging by the way you're looking at me, I doubt that'll be a problem. So, think you'd wanna be my boyfriend? Despite all of that?" He grins even wider as I shove against his shoulder playfully, blushing all the way through.

He leans against the door. Rests his head beside mine, staring at me. Too intently. He smiles gently now. He waits for an answer. I really want to say yes. I can't find it in me to say so. I'm flubbing again. Oh, God, really? In front of him? Shit, I can't do anything right ever in my life, can I? Oh, goddamit, fuck words.

I pull him in for a kiss. Too harshly. Our teeth crash against each other. Bad. We groan out in pain. I curse out loud to my stupidity. And at my sudden urgency to kiss him. My God, that hurt like a bitch. But Naruto's laughing. Again. At me, I idly wonder. I'm pissed. Naruto kisses me, though. Gently. He makes me feel better. The feeling of his lips is so familiar. So beautiful. I can't help but smile in the kiss. I rest my hand against his cheek, cradling the fragile beauty of this and of him. He smiles as well.

I don't know for how long we're kissing for, but it must have been for a while because we're both gasping for air. I'm clutching onto him like he's the only thing left in this life. It might as well feel like it since we're both alone in his room. He grins. But it doesn't look like a cheeky grin. It's something more like a higher-than-high kind of grin. It's cute. And the way his eyes twinkle so prettily against his bedroom light makes him look irresistible and oh-so-charming.

"So, I'm assuming that's a yes?" He asks, and it's stupid, because he knows he doesn't have to. I only laugh.

"What do you think?"

He thinks for a while, suddenly snickering.

"I think that this is the nicest form of rejection."

I roll my eyes and pull him in for another kiss. Except, this time, I'm careful.

Naruto's sure of it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And? Good? :D I thought so. Very pretty, unexpected, funny fluff. I don't write many things like this anymore. This story is a very good example of an exception. The only one, actually. So, be glad I intermingled fluff within this art. Lol.

Anyway, I hoped you liked it.

Reviews are always appreciated.

:)

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	6. Bad Boy

**A/N:** Yay! Another update! :D Aren't you thankful? Haha. Well, life was going good, so I was in a good enough mood to put this up today! :) I hope y'all like it!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Over the past couple of weeks, Naruto and I text. Sometimes we talk over the phone. Sometimes late at night when we're bored and we have nothing to do, nobody to talk to. We talk pretty deeply about some things. Sometimes, not so much. Our conversations really just are about nothing at times. We've gotten to know each other on a deeper level, almost to a point where we know most of each other's deepest, darkest secrets. But I hardly think I'd ever let him in on that, despite the fact that I've told him almost everything already. I doubt that he's told me anything more about himself, though. Like what the hell is the shit he's got going on with Itachi. Why do they hate other? Or why does Itachi hate him like he does? What's going on there? And why doesn't Naruto talk about it? Honestly, you'd think he would, since I'm his boyfriend and all. But he doesn't, which makes the whole title of it null and void. Even when I bring it up, he still finds some way to wiggle out of it and change the subject. It works. Only so many times. It still doesn't soothe my questioning.<p>

And, no, I can't ask my brother about it either. We're still not on speaking terms. Naruto knows about it. He tries to convince me to talk to him. But I won't. Wouldn't want to if my life depended on it. Well, I probably would have to eventually. He was my brother. I'd end up talking to him someday. As he has come to discover in these past few weeks, I'm as stubborn as a mule. He knows I won't do it. And Naruto will never convince me otherwise. Still, he's persistent, my boyfriend.

God, it still feels so weird to call him that after two weeks of going out with him. Even though we haven't really been on a date since that unspeakable event. I don't mind it, but it's pretty weird, you know? With only texting and calling each other like our life depended on it. Every so often, of course, not every day. He knows when to step back from doing all that. After all, it's absence that makes the heart go fonder. And with all this wondering and guessing, I'm starting to think that I really want to see him now. I wonder why Naruto hasn't mentioned in seeing one another at all. Maybe he thinks that'll be asking too much of me. Maybe not.

It isn't like he has much time for me with work and all. And then me with all the summer classes that I've been taking. Stressful for the both of us. Yet he still finds the time in all of that stress to text and call me, and, well, after the many days I've had during summer classes, I need that text from him. So, whenever I see a text message from him, I smile, and he knows he makes me smile, because I tell him all about my day and he actually listen and offers positive feedback about it, asks questions about it, and laughs at all my poorly texted joking. To say that he was the perfect boyfriend would almost be an understatement. Words couldn't describe just how entirely awesome he was.

Nobody knows about him. I mean, it's not like I don't want anyone to know about him. I do. It's just… it's really complicated. People will ask questions on how we met and then I'd go blank. How the hell was I going to be able to tell anyone our story without it getting around to Sakura? I wasn't going to risk anything too dangerous of the matter.

So, I left my Facebook status as single, and instead put a smiley face as a status update on that fated day, which I never do and made people wonder. But, of course, knowing me and my private side, I refused to say a thing or reason as to why I was so happy. I wasn't going to tell anyone just yet. I suppose people will find out either way. Because Naruto just asked me out over a text. To go to the movies with him. To risk going out in public in broad daylight. Really, it's not like I don't want to, but it isn't like I want to go either. I mean, I really want to see him, but I don't think I'd be able to face the criticism that people would have for the both of us. Whether we hear them or not. Come on. How often do you see two gay guys - one hot guy and one ugly, fat guy - going out on a date? Never. So you can see why I'm torn between two emotions.

_Why?_

Waiting for a response from him seems like forever. After all, two minutes is a long time for a pro texter like myself. Or for anyone, actually. So, you can totally tell my surprise when my phone rings. I look at the screen. My heart soars. Naruto. I smile and click my phone open.

"Why is there any reason to ask, Sasuke?" His voice pours into my ear. It's still as beautiful as I remember. "I want to go out. We haven't been out since three weeks ago. After that -"

"Unmentionable day. We never speak of that. Remember, Naruto?"

He laughs.

"Right, right. Wouldn't want to reopen old wounds." I start walking around my room, examining the objects scattered around. Wow. My room is a mess. Terrifying. Eh. I'll clean it later. Maybe tomorrow. I'm busy. "But why do you ask? Don't you want to go out with me, too?"

"Yes, but… well, are you sure?"

He scoffs at me. I know it's a stupid question. He's my boyfriend. Of course he's sure. Still, though, I can't help it.

"What kind of question is that? I'm positive. I want to see you. Today. Right now. Every day." I can practically hear him grinning. And I'm pretty sure he knows I'm blushing. "Why do you make it so hard to date you? We haven't seen each other since Sakura's graduation, and I really think it's about time we see each other, but you never think it's time. I've asked you about three times. And you reject me every time. What is it? Why don't you want to see me?"

"Agh, Naruto. It's not that I don't want to see you. I'm just… I'm worried that Sakura will find out about us. Eventually. When we least expect it, probably."

I can hear him rolling his eyes. He sighs instead.

"She won't find out. Trust me."

I don't believe a word of it. I sink into my bed, shaking my head.

"How can you be so sure?" To this, he stays quiet. I swallow. He's not sure. He's about as worried as I am. But he laughs. Unbelievable. "Why are you laughing? This is serious."

"How? It's just my sister." He laughs.

"But she's my best friend." I argue. "We've been friends since forever. And dating her half-brother behind her back? That's a big no-no in my book. Best friends aren't supposed to date their best friend's half-brother. It so wrong…"

He scoffs again.

"But how is that wrong? She doesn't control who you date. She's not your advisor to be telling you anything. On how to live your life. Now that is what's wrong. Is that what she's doing to you? Controlling your life? Is that why you don't want to go out with me? Because Sakura would never let you?"

It wasn't just that.

"That's not the only thing, Naruto, and you know that." Of course he knew that. Sakura didn't know anything about what we did at her party. He told me she knew nothing. And, after how long I spent in what she thought was the 'restroom', I had some doubts about her knowing something. Suspecting something. Anything at all. But, of course, she joked about it. And about my having irritable bowel syndrome. I laughed it off with her, as usual. At least to cover the fact that I had just made out with her brother in the next room over. I really hoped she knew nothing of us. I was so scared. But…

What if she already knew? And she just didn't want to tell us? I didn't want to risk anything.

"Well, so what? She doesn't know anything. What do you have to worry about? You're fine. We're fine. You worry too much."

"Yeah, disadvantages of being fat. We overthink things too much."

He groans, obviously to my words. He doesn't like it when I call myself fat. He feels I'm putting myself down, which I am. But it's true. I know I am. He knows it. Still, he doesn't seem to want to believe it. He's just too modest sometimes.

"Sasuke, you're not fat. Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it's true. You don't have to sugarcoat the truth. It's there. No hiding behind it."

This is what was frustrating for him. He can't understand why I keep being the way I am. It's only been a couple of weeks since we started going out, so, it's typical that he can't obviously know everything about me firsthand. Everything about my insecurities and my faults are not something anyone wants to reveal before the other in a relationship. I don't even think it was time to tell him anything about my life. Not just yet. I mean, I trusted him, sure, but not just all the way. Despite that he knows about two or three things about my many phobias. Didn't want to burden him with about three more phobias out of about I'd say a hundred.

"That's not the way I saw it." Seriously, wasn't he just the awesomest? My gosh, he was too nice. Couldn't he just be a jerk to me one day? Just one day out of my life? He was just too much of a perfect boyfriend. He had to have some flaws. Any at all?

"Stop it. You saw it the way others did." My cheeks felt hot.

"I didn't, Sasuke. Why don't you believe me?" He insisted.

I shrugged and played around with a loose strand of string from my comforter. It wasn't easy believing anyone when mostly everyone called you something different to your back. Nobody was worth trusting much anymore in this era. Despite that Naruto was one of the big exceptions, there was still so much to discover about him. Like, for example, I didn't know what foods he liked. Or what his favorite color was. Or what movie did he like the most. I didn't really know anything, except about the superficial things. But, I mean, I don't even think that matters. We don't ever really talk about our interests. It's mostly just a roundabout of occurrences and current events going on in our lives. That's beside the point, though.

"Sasuke? You still there?" His voice wandered into my thoughts. I sighed.

"Yeah…"

He stayed quiet for a moment before speaking again.

"You're not fat. Okay? And, even if you were, I don't think it'd matter. I'm not a superficial prick like the dumbasses in this world. To me, you're amazing is what you are." Dammit, Naruto! Stop being so nice! "Which is a pretty good reason as to why we should be going out right now. At exactly this moment. To get those thoughts out of your head. So, get ready. I'm coming over."

What the hell? Now he was demanding me? Not that I minded much of it. Even with him telling me to get ready, I knew I would be the one to final this decision of his. And just exactly how the hell was I going to be able to get out of the house without anyone seeing me sneak out? Granted, it was bound to happen. No matter how sneaky I was. And how was he going to explain to my parents what he was doing here? They knew who he was already. They knew he was Sakura's half-brother. They knew that I was out on that failure date with him. They knew I liked him. Basically, they knew everything. And how would they let me out the door when we all knew I was under lockdown? They'd never allow it.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Naruto? I'm still grounded."

He clicks his teeth.

"It's the summer. Your parents should give you a day off at least once a week with me."

"They don't know about you."

"They do, too."

"They don't know you're my boyfriend, I mean."

He laughs a little at this.

"You sure about that? I mean, I'm pretty sure they know what's going on between us. They're parents. They know everything, whether you decided to tell them or not, Sasuke. I'm pretty sure they've been skulking around your text messages. And your phone calls. And your internet browser history."

My eyes grow wide at this. My parents aren't like that. They respect every bit of my privacy. Probably just as much as they should. But the way Naruto says it sounds so haunting, so surreal. Could it be?

"They wouldn't… would they?"

He hums in agreement.

"They do. My mom did it to me every other day back in high school. Still does to this day. I doubt that she'll ever stop. Your parents, either, just so you know." I groan at this. He laughs. "Hey, you don't have anything to worry about. It's not like we ever told each other dirty things or anything. We're probably a little better than that, don't you think?" I really want to say I am, but I'm not. I've been having very naughty dreams about him. Naked.

Despite the fact I haven't seen him for a total of two weeks since we became official. But, of course, I'll never tell him that. He'll never know anything of those dreams… how dreadful it would be if he ever found out.

"Of course we are. We're not like that at all. We'll never be like that ever." Oh, Sasuke, what a good little liar you are. Shut up, brain. I refocus at the reason as to why he called me in the first place. "But we can't. What will I say to them so they can let me? That task is impossible. They won't let me go out."

Naruto sighs, suddenly 'tsk'ing at me.

"My dear Sasuke… haven't you ever heard of breaking the rules?"

Oh, no.

* * *

><p>"I cannot believe you convinced me to sneak out of my own house! This is barbaric, Naruto! What if they know I'm not in bed? What if they heard you? What if people saw me leaving my house? And they tell my parents? What is going to become of me? Oh, my gosh, I can't believe you made me do this…"<p>

It's true. My own boyfriend - it's still weird to call him that - has convinced me to go against my parents' rules. He has convinced me to sneak out of my own house and get into his car to drive off to god-knows-where at ten at night. I don't know how he did it to get me out. Maybe he has some sort of magical mind-controlling powers. Or maybe he knocked me out through the phone with sleeping gas and snuck me into his car. Or maybe my parents said yes.

Doubtful.

All of that I wished was true. But it wasn't.

When he asked me if I ever heard of breaking the rules - which, of course, I don't like to do much of - he also asked me to look out the window. His car was out there. He was waving at me. And grinning. He practically ordered me to get in the car. So, when I said no, he told me that if I didn't, he was going to climb the side of my house, go into my room through my window, get me, go back out the window and back down the side of the house, stuff me in the car and risk kidnapping me himself. I had to say yes. I mean, if he was going to do all that, he was bound to make some noise. That would risk waking my parents up. Or bring them to look out the window. Yeah, I wasn't about to anger my parents like that. Who knew what they would do? Then again, better them than Itachi. He'd murder Naruto. But the good thing was that he wasn't here. So there was no stopping me. Or Naruto.

So, as soon as I got in the car, closed the door, and put on my seatbelt, he took off. Right before I even got to ask him where the hell we were going. Or kiss him. Naruto was ready to go. He was excited. No, not excited. Excited isn't really the right word. Now ecstatic? Well, no, not that one either. Damn, he was fucking thrilled to be with me. I don't know what it was about me that made him go all loopy, but he wouldn't stop talking the whole time he drove. He wouldn't stop smiling. He wouldn't stop looking at me. The thought of it was romantic and all - it probably would have been a whole lot nicer, maybe at another time or something - but, hey, this guy was driving; he was going to get us killed if he didn't keep his eyes on the road! Still, though, the thought of it was nice. To know that he missed me. That he wanted to see me. Enough to take me out at ten o'clock at night against my own will. And my own parents' rules. And against all my morals. Actually, no, you know what? No, no, this was nice. The whole thought of my own boyfriend taking me out on our first official date is nice. I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining. He's a good boyfriend. He's not a maniac. Maybe a romantic, maniac… No, no, he's not a maniac. He's perfect. Just perfect.

Despite the idea that he's a total rule breaker and everything.

Naruto grins at me. That cocky grin. But all the more beautiful, nonetheless. Yet I can't bring myself to smile even a little at him. I'm sort of mad. And panicky. I've never snuck out of my house before. I mean, I've gone against what my parents have told me not to do a couple of times in my life before. But I'm a teenager; I'm obligated to do it, whether it's of my own choice or not. This was crossing the line. Going out with a boyfriend without telling them about it? With my first boyfriend? No. That was out of bounds. God. Why did I have to say yes?

"Come on, Sasuke, no one saw you. You're safe. Stop panicking. They'll never know you're gone. Hey, I'll bring you back at a respectable time, if it makes you feel any better." He starts to snicker at this. I can't help but laugh too. But it's too soon to be joking about being a gentleman when he basically kidnapped me. Or something like that.

I hit him, still laughing. He laughs harder. He's not driving anymore. He's got it parked somewhere. I still don't know where we ended up, so it's safe enough to violate him for a while. He doesn't complain. He's still laughing. And I'm not mad or panicky anymore now that I'm with him, so I suppose my abusing is working to no extent. We smile at each other now. He leans over to kiss me. His hand curls instantly into my hair and he yanks me forward, almost dragging me into his lap. My hand shoots out to steady me as I lean over to continue kissing him. Did I really forget how amazing his mouth felt on mine whenever we kissed? Could anyone really forget how anything like that ever felt? To me, it felt like fireworks. Maybe fire. For some reason, Elvis' Burning Love song went through my mind. I could feel Naruto grinning as I hummed the lyrics against his lips softly.

"I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love…" I laugh at his words. He pulls away to look at me. "You like the king of rock and roll, too?"

I roll my eyes, as if brushing the absurd question away. Who wouldn't like Elvis? Anyone who didn't had no taste in music.

"Of course I do. He's a classic. And I'm just a softie for the classics."

He leans in to kiss me again, this time pressing me against my own seat. I stare into those baby blue eyes of his, blushing as his lips near mine. He's so pretty. That smile crosses over his lips once more, his teeth barely visible. Such a sweet smile accents the dimples in his cheeks, brightens the beautiful color of his eyes. I smile wider, pulling him in from the cuff of his neck. My fingers grasp at his too bright blond hair. My god, his hair is so soft. He grins as I toy around with it.

"Well, I'm a classy kind of guy. You like me too?" He leans closer. His nose brushes against mine, lips touching my own tentatively. I let out a small laugh at the feeling of bliss that overtakes my senses just by that simple touch. That simple touch that he caused. Ah, did I mention he was amazing?

"That's your pick-up line?"

"No, it only works if I don't have you."

"But you already do."

His smile grows.

"I know." He kisses me gently once more in the night. But he pulls away too quickly, and I'm left unsatisfied. He grins. "Come on, let's go. The show starts in ten minutes, but I want you to meet my friends first." He tells me, and, in that instant, I panic. Friends? I was going to risk being seen either way? By his friends? People I didn't know? Crap, why? I didn't even look nice.

But he gets out of the car too quickly. Too soon for me to protest against it. I follow after him, mouth open in shock. He takes my hand as I reach him and he practically drags me to where a group of six people are waving madly his way. He waves back just as madly. They're grinning the same way he is. They're all beautiful just as he is. They're all as flawless as he is. They're all wearing nice clothes just exactly like he is. They're all fucking perfect. And, in that moment, I feel too ugly. Too out of place. I want to cover my face with a paper bag. I want to run away. I want to cry. I yank Naruto's hand back. He jolts suddenly. He looks over at me, confused. That grin wipes from his face quickly. That cheerful demeanor is gone. He is all eyes and ears for me right now. I can't bear to face him. I can't even bear to look over his shoulder at the people standing behind us. Waiting for us.

Naruto's brows furrow together.

"What's wrong? You all right?"

I shook my head and swallow loudly. I look over his shoulder at the people. They're all staring after us in worry. Why? They didn't even know me. What if they didn't like me? What if they criticize me as soon as I met them? I avoid Naruto's stare as he nears me, as he intertwines our fingers and lifts my chin up. I shake away from his touch. What if they saw? What would they say to him? To me? Did they even know anything about his sexual orientation? Or about me? Did they know about our story at all?

He notices how worried I am about these people. About his friends. He looks over at them briefly. He smiles and waves. They wave back, and their smiles return, as beautiful as ever. God. My heart crushes at the sight. Why couldn't I look anything like them? I struggle to pull away from him as the tears stab at my eyes. Back to the car. I want to hide. But Naruto pulls me back. He forces me to look at him. I can't.

"Hey, look at me, Sasuke. It's okay. They will like you. They're nice people. They're not douches. Come on." He wiped away at the stray tear that slid down my cheek before I reached it. He grabs both of my hands and presses them against his chest. His heart is racing. He presses his lips against my forehead, in hopes of easing away the pain and worry I felt about my appearance and all.

I know, I know, it seems stupid to cry over something so small when I know Naruto is here for me and he will overrule any bad thing that ever comes my way, but it was a very huge thing for me. I never went out in public. Especially with someone like Naruto way out of my league, only to meet other people equally out of my league as well. There is a reason. There has always been a reason. I've never told many people this reason, mostly because they'd do exactly what I fear. Laugh. Yeah, laughing. That's what I'm afraid of in the real world.

Whenever these people in the real world laugh, I feel that they're doing it to me. That they're laughing at me. I know, it's stupid, but I can't help it. I can't help the chill I get when someone laughs, or when they point at something else entirely instead of me. I know they're not talking about me. I know that. But it feels like they are. It feels like they're talking about the elephant in the room, and I'm the elephant. I'm the obvious target for jokes. No use denying it or skirting around the truth. I'm the one everyone makes fun of when I leave the room.

I wonder if they're laughing at me right now, Naruto's friends. I wonder what they think of me. If they're all asking themselves whether or not Naruto made the stupidest choice in his life ever in choosing me to be his boyfriend. I wonder if they're ruling out every single thing he did in his life and comparing it to this event, to which extent, this event has already got all the others already beat. I can't help feeling so negatively about my appearance or about anything else. Anyone would be feeling this way too if they'd been fat like me. Insecure. Why?

Naruto embraces me at that moment. His arms wrap around my body, which is weird, because I never thought he'd be able to wrap his arms around me. But he could. And it feels so warm and so comfortable. His embrace is like a safe haven to me. Maybe because his muscles ripple as they press against me, protecting me. I smile and bury my face in his sweeter than sweet-smelling jacket. Bright orange. The color of it practically blinds me. Why is this his favorite color? It's so revolting. But, of course, I don't mind. He smells so good. And, instantly, the worry and unfamiliarity and fear of public places just oozes away as we hug. I blush. Public displays of affection were something I never approved of from anyone. Especially coming from me. Yet Naruto continues to hold me so tightly that he almost refuses to pull away for a while. But he does. Eventually. He kisses my forehead.

"They're going to like you, no matter what you say or do. They have to."

I bite my lip and look over his shoulder at his beautiful friends. They're still looking our way, but now they're smiling at us. They don't have to. They won't want to.

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask softly. A couple passes us by. They watch our sudden closeness peculiarly. They have a look of obvious disgust on their faces. But they look away too quickly for me to even acknowledge fully of it. I'm slightly hurt, even though. Naruto stares off at them as they whisper past us. He doesn't do anything about it. Not that I want him to. I wouldn't like him to start anything. Then again, it seems as though he doesn't care. It's as though he just sees right through them, like if they're just people.

I mean, I know they're just people, but he looks at them like they were just people passing by. No harm done or anything more. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

He sighs.

"They offered. So, I thought maybe I could bring you into it. Besides, I wanted to see you. And, well, we haven't really had a proper first date."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"And this counts? Going out with your friends? I don't… I don't even know them."

"They'll like you." He tries to convince me once more. I shake my head at him. "Trust me, they will. After all, a group date is perfect for our first date. You're nervous, right?" I find myself blushing. Of course I was. Was I making it that obvious? God, I really hope I wasn't. He takes my hand once more. "A relaxed environment is what you need when you're on a first date. When you're with me, actually. So, when this offer came up, I thought, what a perfect way to kill two birds with one stone! You can meet my friends and go out on a date with me all in one. Perfect idea, don't you think?"

Not if I didn't know any of these people, no. What if they didn't like me? My eyes kept drifting over to them and back to Naruto. I was panicking again. But, well, I supposed, if this was his idea of a first date, I wasn't going to go against it. The whole thought of it was pretty charming.

"…I don't even look nice."

"Yes, you do. You look fine. At least you don't look like Kankuro does. He's dressed like an idiot with all that makeup." He laughs as his friend grins at him, knowing he was talking about him, despite we were about twenty feet or so away from him. He tugs on my hand. "Come on. They're not going to bite." He drags me behind him, mostly because I can't keep up with him.

"Wait." I tell him. He stops. He looks over at him, suddenly serious. I swallow. I wasn't so sure about this. "Do they… do they approve of this? Of me…?"

Now his grin is back. He nods, understanding the hidden meaning of the question. Of his sexuality.

"Of course. They love you already. I talk about you a lot, so it's kind of hard not to like you. Does any of that make you feel any better?" It does. So, I nod. With that, we take off towards his friends again.

He talked about me? Gosh, I hardly talked about him at all. I felt bad. Here were his friends who knew almost everything about me, and here I was. Just here. Nobody knew about him. I didn't tell a soul. Not even my best friend, Sakura. But all for good reason. I didn't want her to get mad. Was I a bad person because of this? I really hoped I wasn't. I tried so hard not to tell anyone. Not because I didn't want anyone to know, but because it was sort of a complicated thing to go abide by. If I told someone, it'd probably get around and end up reaching Sakura's ears. Someway, somehow. What would she do if she knew I was dating a blood relative of hers? Oh, my God, I didn't even want to think about it. For now, I wasn't going to focus on that. I focused on Naruto's six friends. On their names. Kankuro and Konan, Sasori and Temari, and Deidara and TenTen. Quite an odd array of couples, if you asked me.

As soon as I spoke, about as softly as I could - I still didn't know them very well - the girls started to squeal, and they started telling me how cute I was and how lucky I was to have Naruto and vice versa. Of course, I wasn't able to take these nice compliments without being slightly flustered. I've never been in the spotlight of a whole crapload of friends that just so happened to be Naruto's friends crowding around me like a bunch of vultures. I was like the new toy that they wanted to have. I found myself blushing. They noticed, and they started to giggle even more. Kankuro even went so far as to pinch my cheeks. And, even from then, I could tell that this guy was Naruto's best friend, by a landslide. These two were so alike it was scary. Well, of course, not from Naruto. He was friggin' adorable. He was smiling the whole time his friends fawned over me. Everyone was. Even me.

Okay, save for except Sasori, that guy with the red hair. He just stood there. Didn't even smile or anything. He looked at me. But almost as though he really didn't. Like if I was see through. Now, of him, I was kind of terrified. He didn't like me, did he? I leaned into Naruto for comfort, exactly like a child would, whenever anything seemingly dangerous alerts the senses. His friends didn't fail to notice. They 'aww'ed. I blushed harder as Naruto's arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me in closer. They 'aww'ed once more, cooing.

For the moment, I wasn't going to think about Sasori and about the weird vibes he gave me. For now, I was going to focus on having a good time with Naruto and his friends. I hoped. I bet I was. Konan and Temari both linked arms with me. TenTen linked arms with Temari, smiling at how confused I seemed. I was never accepted so easily into a group of friends. I mean, I liked the change and all, but, at that moment, I really wanted to hold Naruto's hand. I looked over my shoulder at him. He grinned my way as he talked with his friends. They roughhoused for a fair amount of time as they followed us into the theater. The way I didn't play.

Sometimes I thanked myself for having a more sensitive side than boyish side like Naruto. I didn't like playing around like that. I was thin-skinned and I did not have thick or calloused skin like Naruto did. I preferred the occasional witty banter among friends rather than what he was doing. I looked back to my new girlfriends. They were all chatting animatedly about Naruto and I, but not the whole conversation revolved around that. We talked about other stuff, too. We didn't stop talking until we bought our tickets. I don't remember what movie they chose - I was laughing so hard. We didn't stop talking when we bought our popcorn and candy and soda and nachos and hot dogs - Naruto paid for our snacks. We didn't stop talking even when the ushers took our tickets. Or when we took a seat in the theater. Until Naruto separated us. Or, more likely, all the other boyfriends did.

We all were kind of disturbed about this. We wanted to talk more! But, as soon as our boyfriends arms wrapped around our shoulders, it was soon forgotten. I smiled up at Naruto. He grinned back threefold. He leaned in to kiss me. I shook my head, and made a sound. I signaled to all the people in the theater. He only shrugged.

"So? It's dark. They won't be able to see." He leaned in to kiss me again. I laughed, pressing my fingers against his lips.

"They will once the light of the screen hits us." I argued quietly.

He rolled his eyes, removing my fingers from against his lips.

"You worry too much, Sasuke. All I want to do is kiss you." He murmured softly.

"You kissed me two times already! Isn't that enough?"

"We both know it isn't. I know you want to kiss me as badly as I do. Bet you haven't stopped thinking about that night." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I haven't either."

God, he was right. I hadn't. Every other night I found myself dreaming about that night. About reliving the night all over again. To be honest, I wanted a night like that at Sakura's party to happen again. Despite that it was heavily influenced by alcohol and almost led to a night of bad choices, I wanted to make out with him again like we did that night. Heavily. I didn't care that I didn't know. I wanted to feel his tongue against mine. The thought of it made me a little bit uncomfortable. Only a little. Mostly because I was thinking about Naruto in that way so many weeks ago when I could just as easily make out with him here and now. What a good thing it was that it was pretty dark in here. He couldn't see me blushing in the dark. I looked away from him instead, to focus on the previews rolling before the movie. Hey, that one looks pretty… hah.

I couldn't. Not with Naruto kissing my neck. Or with his friends sitting near us while he did this. What if they saw? Were they watching? I looked to my right, right over Naruto's shoulder. Kankuro and Konan were busy making out. So, no, they didn't see. I gave them their privacy. I looked over to my left. Deidara and TenTen were whispering to one another, giggling quietly at some parts of the previews, too deeply immersed in one another to even give the least bit of attention or care to the world. I looked over to Sasori and Temari. They… well, they were an odd couple, after all. They were doing nothing. It didn't even seem like something like kissing was bound to happen in their time. They were watching the previews. Temari with a huge smile on her face. Sasori with those scary eyes of his. They held hands, but I don't really think that was enough. At least for Sasori. Temari seemed pretty pleased.

He suddenly looked over at me. I looked away at the same instant our eyes met. Naruto was still kissing my neck, so I don't think he noticed. I refocused my attention back to him. He kissed his way up my neck to my ear, across my cheek, to my nose, across my other cheek, to my chin, until finally reaching my lips. The sensation of it all brought chills and shivers to go down my spine.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. The movies might not be the best place to make out. I know. I always thought badly of people who did. The movies were always an excuse for a couple to make a date and kiss in the dark without anyone caring. But I cared. Well, despite the fact that it felt so good, I couldn't find it in me to pull away. As always. Still, the sensation of it all, the feeling of his lips fitting so beautifully over mine was pure bliss. Was I really going to turn all that down because I was going against my rules? Come on, what do you take me for? I wasn't going to give this up. I was going to give this a try. Maybe I could see what the whole jazz was about. After all, this was the first boyfriend I was making out with at the movies. Maybe something good will come of it. Other than, well, what everyone expects it to be. I will not be having sex on my first date. Although, that'd be a pretty good and steamy letter to the Penthouse. Doing it in the dark. Some movie playing on in the background. People all around us. Public gay sex.

I blushed severely and deeply at the thought. I pulled away from our heavy, lust filled kiss, suddenly gasping for air. Mostly because of the embrace, but also because of the unexpected thought. Why the hell was I thinking about that anyway? I didn't even know anything about sex. Especially with Naruto. I wasn't even ready for that. Oh, God. I must have looked flushed. Was I sweating? Oh, man, yes I was. Did he notice? I really hope not.

What the hell? Yeah, no, I don't even think he was paying attention to me. Or to anything around him. His eyes were closed. And he had this stupid looking grin on his face. His head tilts back. He laughs softly. What the hell was wrong with him?

"You sure you're not lying to me about me being your first, Sasuke? You kiss amazing…" He murmurs at the side of my ear, which surprises me. Because his voice is husky. Which only fuels the thought of him doing dirty things to me by about tenfold.

I try to hide my blush. But I think the darkness does it for me. Either way, I believe he doesn't notice, thankfully. He leans closer to me. His forehead presses against my temple. His eyelashes brush against me. It sends shivers up my spine. Maybe because of Naruto. Or maybe because of the loud and scary preview that just came on. I turn to look over at him. Why is he so pretty?

"Of course not. There's no thinking twice about it. And how can you possibly think I kiss so amazing? I've only kissed you in my whole life. I'm sure other people's kissing expertise must have me beat, no?" He rolls his eyes at this, shaking his head. I stare at him comprehensively, raising my eyebrows. That wasn't possible. Someone like Naruto was bound to have obtained some good kissing action. Right? I guess not; there wasn't any sign of laughter etched on his face. Incredible. "Really? No one at all?"

He shakes his head.

"No one. Unless you want me to rifle through my old relationships and of their gruesome history?" I shook my head immediately. I didn't want to know. Not if he put it like that. Actually, not even if he put it in the most gentle of ways. I didn't want him to bring that up at all.

I wasn't jealous of all the other people he had in his other life. No. I wasn't. I wasn't jealous of the first person to ever take away his virginity. Or of the first person whose virginity he took. Or of the first person to ever kiss him. Or of the first person who he asked out. To sum it all up, I didn't want to know a single thing of all those other people. That was the past. It was done and over with. I was the present now. It might have sounded conceited, but I believed I was better off than all those other people. I wondered whatever the hell happened to them, though. Who broke up with who? Or was Naruto the one who always got dumped? Did he like anyone from the past…? Okay, I was overthinking this by a lot. I wasn't going to think about that. Stop it, Sasuke.

I refocused my attention back to the screen. The movie's just started. The scene starts off with a couple arguing. The camera's zooming in to a closed door. The silhouettes of the couple pace back and forth in the light given off from beneath the door. There's screaming now. Oh, crap, I know what this movie's about. Where it's leading to. The arguing gets louder. The music gets louder. Sharper. I don't want to see it. I swallow hard, yet I still force myself to watch what's to come next. I don't want to. I want to shut my eyes. I want to hold Naruto's hand. My heart's racing. My breathing's getting rapid now. This was a horror movie. No doubt about it. And I honestly despised horror movies. Aw, why didn't I tell Naruto sooner about my phobia?

The woman's voice heightens. The man's voice turns into a growl. I grip the arm of the theater seat tightly. Then, for a moment, there's a sharp slap. The music stops. The arguing stops. Silence. Too quiet. And then there's a quiet thump on the hardwood floor. Finally, a crack. And the body's being dragged away.

Blood seeps through the bottom opening of the door. I gag a little at the sight. I never had a strong stomach for blood. Fake or real. Same goes for incisions on the body, and decapitation and mutilation. Anything that required the removal of any body parts made me sick. And weak. I couldn't help it.

But I didn't want to look like a wimp around Naruto. I was going to embrace the screams and bloodfest. I had to. I was going to prove to him that I wasn't the bottom in this relationship. Not that I ever was! Which, of course, there's no arguing about, really. But, still! I wasn't going to be just his boyfriend. I was going to be that boyfriend that loved horror movies, the boyfriend that was brave enough to go on right through and handle two hours of a maniacal, bloody, scream-infested movie. It was just a movie, right? Nothing more, nothing less. There was nothing to fear. I wasn't a coward.

So, I sat there for two hours straight and endured the goriest, most bloodiest movie in the entire world, all without holding on to Naruto's hand to help me cope through with it. Despite that my whole body was going weak and that I was basically shitting my pants, I fought against it. I don't even think Naruto noticed. He was so into the horrifying movie. But not, like, horrified, or anything about it. He was laughing throughout it, making small comments, like, 'Oh, that was so fake!' and 'That's not possible!' and 'Don't go in there! Ah, stupid bitch, why'd you go in there? Why didn't you listen to me?' Which probably would have made me laugh and I probably would have gone along with it, but I didn't have the necessary strength to do so. I didn't have the energy to laugh or anything. If I did, I was sure I was going to hurl. So, you can't even begin to imagine my relief when the movie was over. I ran out of the theater so quickly, hand covering over my mouth, which was hard enough with my fat slowing me down. I must have repulsed some people too as I ran by.

I could hear Naruto and his friends call out after me, but I wasn't going to stop. I just endured two hours of a bloodfest. I had a right to throw up. So empty my contents in the porcelain throne I did. I don't know for how long I was in there, but I heard Naruto calling out for me. I couldn't answer. Not with all the crap - not literally - coming out of my mouth. Tears were gathering at the corners of my eyes. I was shaking so badly I couldn't even hold myself up. What a terrific official first date turnout. Why did I have to have the worst luck in the world? Why couldn't God just give me a break? Why did he have to give me a weak stomach?

Bile forced its way through my nostrils and up my mouth. I heaved the rest of what I supposed was this night's dinner. My God, how long before I stopped? Naruto was pounding on the bathroom stall I was in. This was so embarrassing. I was so sure I lost about five pounds with all that exerted force. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. Well, I mean I couldn't really do anything without shaking. The feeling was terrible. And the smell was unbearable.

I took in sharp breaths, whimpering quietly. Naruto had stopped pounding on the door. He waited as I cleaned myself up, as I struggled to stand on my feet and muster up enough strength and courage to reveal the horrible state I was in. I opened the door. He didn't care that I smelled. Or that I was sweating. He embraced me wholeheartedly, not because he felt sorry, but because he truly wanted to. Despite the rank smell and the vomit on my upper lip. Disgusting? Yeah, I know. He hugged me so tightly that I was sure he'd crush me to death. The fatal bear hug.

I'd only experienced it once ever in my life, and it wasn't even that quite huge. It was my little cousin hugging me like that. But, this time, I knew what a bear hug truly felt like. It felt wonderful, though I really felt like shit, so I couldn't return the embrace fully. I was reluctant to pull away. Mostly because I didn't want him to see me at my worst. However, I don't even think that's debatable anymore, since he's already seen me cry. So, I let him pull away. He has a look of concern on his face. He stares into my watery eyes and takes in my shaky figure. He pulls the pieces together quite quickly.

"I suppose you're not a fan of horror movies, huh?" He asks me as he leads me to where the sinks are. He takes a napkin from the dispenser and cleans off the remains from my upper lip. There's no look of disgust on his face or anything remotely close to that. He's fine. Which is weird. Isn't he supposed to have some sort of gag reflex or something?

I swallow. The acrid taste of my own dinner travels down my throat. I shiver, horrified.

"Not really, no." I reply quietly. My voice is shaky.

He clicks his teeth at me.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have watched something else…"

I shrugged, avoiding his look as he dabbed at my face with fresh water. He was nice, wasn't he?

"It wasn't my place to say."

"But it's our official first date. You have to speak up, Sasuke. Communicate with us. Nobody would have gone against you. They all like you already. They won't argue with you." He smiled as I blushed underneath his soft touch.

I looked down at the bathroom floor. My, that floor was atrocious. Didn't they clean around here? I felt myself gag again and the urge to throw up rose once more. I held back. I wasn't going to ruin our date anymore than it already was. Or disgust him even further by throwing up on his shoes. Naruto surely wasn't someone who'd approve of that. He was too spiffy-looking. And too pretty.

"…You're disgusted by me, right?" He had to be. Anyone who wasn't had to be crazy.

"No."

He was crazy, wasn't he?

"You have to be. I mean… I just threw up on our first date."

"So? It wasn't because of me. It was because of the movie. You're fine, though, right? Now that I'm here?" I had to admit, I was. Who was really going to say that they weren't when it was someone like Naruto? He was a god. I was fine with him being anywhere near me. Actually, to be honest, I was more than fine. I was truly happy. Like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. But that's beside the point, and off the subject. We were on our first date. It's not like he was about to propose to me or anything. I don't know what brought that up. Maybe I was the one who was crazy. Who the hell thought about marriage when it was just a first date? Okay, Sasuke, stop talking about it. You're not mental. Answer the question, dammit! Don't make it seem like he didn't make you happy!

"Well, yeah. But… doesn't it bother you? I'm -"

"I'm not easily grossed out. It's natural, isn't it?"

He had such an easy way of going about life. He wasn't like most guys. Guys just did what they did without reason and they didn't even care. I was thankful he was my boyfriend. He was so smart. I just wanted to kiss him. But, ew. I don't care if he's not easily grossed out, I'm not going to risk kissing him with the taste of vomit in my mouth for the rest of the night. I gave him a smile instead. That worked, right? It involved lips.

Worked, indeed, it did. He smiled back. And then he embraced me again. There was honestly something about his hugs that just made me so happy. Maybe because it was him who was hugging me. Or because it felt so comfortable that his arms wrapped around me so easily. His muscles didn't disturb the peace of my fat body. Or maybe it was just because of me and my fat self. Ever heard of the expression, 'More cushion for the pushing'? Disregard the sexual innuendo wrapped around those words.

It would have lasted longer were it not for the two guys who suddenly walked in. At the sound of the door slamming open, I pull away from Naruto. Like it wasn't gay enough that we were hugging in a less than hygienic bathroom. These guys were rude-looking. Kind of like a mix of pit bulls and bulldogs, which is basically the same thing. But you get my point about these guys. They were… not appealing. In any way someone looked at them. Especially when they were looking at us like we were some sort of disease or something close of the matter. I felt like that at the moment. Even when their faces twisted up in disgust and hate. I swallowed, looking over at Naruto briefly. He was staring at them with almost the same expression they had on their features. I was scared. What was going to happen? I felt like shit was about to go down. Huh, ironic. Bathroom. Shit. Funny. Although, not so funny if shit was really about to go down.

These guys were tall. They were well-built. They looked like animals. Naruto was short. Sure, he packed some guns and all, but I didn't think he could take them. Not one by one. And me? Well, I was fat. I wasn't about to get into a fight. I'd lose. And get tired by the first punch. But Naruto tugged at my wrist and pushed me in front of him, towards the bathroom door, out of harm's way. He glared at them as we escaped.

As we did so, they called out the most hateful words to us. The same word a person is never to use in the presence of a gay. The word people shouldn't ever really say at all, actually.

"Queers."

That drove me mad. That drove Naruto over the edge. But our friends were waiting outside for us, and, as we reached them, and as those words reached our ears as well as theirs, they all struggled to pull us back. I didn't struggle much. It wasn't as though I was about to do anything about it. I didn't know how to fight. I'd never fought in my life ever before.

However, Naruto was a different situation. He wasn't about to let it go that easily. He wanted to fight. I'd never seen him looking as angry as he was in that moment. Well, except for that one time when he fought with Itachi, but I meant in public. He was mad. He was flailing against the restraints of Kankuro's arms. His teeth bared in a quiet snarl. His eyes were wild. People were watching. I was watching. Kankuro was leading him away. Sasori and Deidara helped Kankuro. The girls stayed behind with me, far away from the danger Naruto was at the moment. They held onto my arm. Their touch was so soft. So warm. I looked at each and every single one of them. At their faces. Into their eyes. They all seemed to have tears in their eyes, barely visible, only just gathering. But still there.

"There's one thing you should know about Naruto, hon." Temari murmured quietly.

"Sometimes he might be okay with everything in life, and he may seem normal one minute." Konan continued.

"But, at times, things in life push him over the edge. And he snaps. A completely different person the next minute." TenTen finished. They all looked at one another. She looked back at me. "There is a way he copes with it."

"But only at home. He's never really learned to cope with it in public." Konan added.

Who knew that my official first date would turn out like this? With secrets already? And drama? I watched as Naruto was being dragged away by the boys, still flailing against them in a great battle. He finally gave up after a while. But the girls didn't release me. They didn't let me get anywhere near him.

So, we sat a couple of seats away from where the boys sat at. I watched Naruto seethe. He was glaring off to the side, fists clenched tightly, his jaw was set, as though he was grinding his teeth. Kankuro, Sasori, and Deidara were all trying to talk to him, but it was as though he wasn't even listening. He was blowing off steam in his own quiet and calm way. If anyone looked at him, no one would have guessed that he was the type of guy to lose his cool. Now I knew. He had anger management problems. Why didn't I guess that head-on? How could I not have noticed it when he was getting into that fight with Itachi? He was the one who started it anyway.

Okay, now was not the time to be pointing fingers. And I wasn't supposed to be acting that way towards my own boyfriend. I had to go comfort him or something. I wasn't just going to sit here. I mean, he was my boyfriend. Gosh, I was overusing that word. Not that I didn't mind, and not that he minded - Yeah, getting off the subject again.

I walked over to him slowly. The girls immediately followed right behind me. The boys all stared at me in fear. I sat beside him. I took his fisted hand into my own and intertwined our fingers. Somewhat forcibly. He complied, nonetheless. And, in that instant, he relaxed. Very easily. He looked over at me, and his features had returned to normal. He no longer looked like an animal much anymore. He wasn't mad when I was near, so that was a plus. His eyes glittered at me. His pupils dilated slightly. He swallowed, then sighed. And he leaned his head on my shoulder. To say I was a little shocked was an understatement. I was astounded. Even more when he spoke.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, but I just… I don't like that word." He murmured softly.

I sighed, pushing his hair back. He looked up at me.

"I don't think any of us do." I replied. I caressed his hair. He squeezed my fingers gently. "You're okay now, right?" He nodded. A bit hesitantly, if anything. But still nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head and avoided my gaze. I didn't mind. Not like I wanted to talk about it anyway. It bothered me just as much as it did him. "Well, what do you want me to do?"

He didn't even look at me as he spoke the next couple of words. But even I could tell the desperation in those words. And I couldn't fail to miss the way his fingers tightened around mine with just that sentence.

"Just… stay here… with me…"

And I did.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Welp, I must admit, it didn't come out quite the way I expected, but I'll take what I can get. :) I really hope it wasn't too descriptive with that vomit scene. I, myself, got a little grossed out, too. XP Lol. I really hope it was to y'all's liking. I really liked it. ^-^

Anyway, please, review! I don't think anyone likes that about a shitload of people read the story and favorite it and alert it, but never review it. So, please, do me a favor, babes! :D

- With** much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	7. Anniversary: Part I

**A/N:** Awwww, yeah, another chapter. Be proud! :D Lmao. Okay, so I'm dedicating this one to my dear pen pal Renae Shnucumbs; her emails inspired me through my brief writer's block. So I felt like updating this, while I worked on the next part. She is an amazing girl, she is. :) I'm anxiously awaiting your email, love! Hopefully, you'll think of me when I update this. Lmao.

All righty, enjoy, loves!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>I came home around one or so in the morning, after Naruto had calmed down a little. That way the anger wouldn't blur his vision when he was driving. The night was a very calm one after he had revealed the more animalistic side of himself. It didn't bother me, but the drive home was awkward enough, especially after the night we had. We talked, but there wasn't much to talk about after what had happened. He kissed me goodnight. Not on the lips, though. I told him not to. Yet he insisted. And he kissed me full on the lips. He didn't care that I threw up moments earlier or anything. So I let him. We bid each other goodbye after a few couple of kisses. And then pulled away. We both did it reluctantly, of course.<p>

He waited as I got out of the door and headed into my house as quietly as I could. I heard him take off as I walked inside and shut the door just as inaudibly as I could. Any sudden movement and my parents would be on my ass in a second. They were very light sleepers, after all. I tiptoed my way around the house, until I reached the stairs. I tiptoed as softly as I could going up the stairs. They creaked a lot, and, with my weight, I wouldn't be surprised if they collapsed. I grabbed onto the rail and guided my way into the darkness. Until a light clicked on. Oh, my shit.

"Where were you?"

That voice. It was so familiar. But it couldn't be. I hadn't talked to him in weeks. Why did he have to come here? Wasn't it bad enough that I said what I said to him? And now he had caught me sneaking in from a night out with Naruto. He had more reason to hate him now and to forbid me from seeing him even more. Not that I was going to ever really stop. He was my boyfriend, right? Oh, wait, he didn't know anything about that. I had to be careful with my words now.

I turned around. And, sure enough, I wasn't dreaming. Itachi stood at the foot of the stairs, one hand on the rail and the other on the switch that turned on the light. I bit my lip as I took in his appearance. I wasn't going to lie, he looked pretty bad. He had large bags under his eyes. As though he hadn't really gotten any sleep in weeks. Like a raccoon or something. Or as though every day of his life was just as horrifying as the next. I climbed down the stairs slowly, at least to measure up to his height. He looked directly into my eyes, no anger, or any emotion flitting through his eyes, but I could tell he was serious. And I knew this was no joking matter, of course, yeah, I knew that.

"You were with him, weren't you?" I couldn't say no, because he knew it was true. But I couldn't say yes, because I knew how mad he'd get. And that wasn't good for his unstable health of not enough sleep at the moment.

So, I didn't answer. I didn't look at him. The atmosphere was awkward. We were awkward. Then again, why wouldn't we be? We hadn't talked in the longest of time. Two weeks. We hadn't talked in two weeks. That was a really long time. I really missed him. I don't know what it was with me, but I wanted to tell him everything. About Naruto. About how he was such a sweetheart or about my failure official first date as well. That'd make him feel better, no doubt, right? Except, I wasn't going to tell him about what almost happened with him and those two guys in the restroom. For that, he'd never forgive him. He'll hate him forever. He'd never allow me to be near a dangerous person like Naruto. I could already imagine his words. And the anger. Oh, it'd be a bloodfest if I were to tell him. The horror. Just like in that movie.

Ew. Okay, don't think about that.

"I thought you were grounded." He tells me. More like he's telling me I should have stayed at home. Or else. Really, Itachi, so early? Right when this is our first time seeing each other and talking to each other? What kind of a brother are you?

Actually, no, yeah, what kind of brother was he? Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be looking after me and stuff? The one who was supposed to be going with me on my dates? Or every other place I went? Not that I wanted him to. Or anything. But, still, he was supposed to be in charge of what my parents assigned him.

"Shouldn't I be asking you where the hell you were these past few weeks?" I ask him. To this, he looks taken aback. But he recovers quickly, and anger overtakes his features.

"You're getting off the subject, Sasuke. We're talking about you."

"And about you as well, if it involves me being out of bed after hours. Didn't Mom and Dad tell you to look after me at all times?"

Oh, that made him mad. I wasn't trying to anger him in any way. I was just trying to point out what he didn't do. What he was supposed to be doing. And he wasn't doing any of it. He hadn't been around for the past few weeks. Did my parents even notice? I guess not, because, for some strange reason, they were all distracted about something. Happy and still all parental-control with their ways, but still happy, nonetheless. Bunch of weirdoes. Off the subject, I know, I know.

"I was… busy." He replies. He doesn't look at me. That's not the true reason. Fucking liar. I knew I hurt him with my words. No use skirting around the truth when I knew I was the sole reason behind it all.

"That's not true. And you know it."

"It is. I was busy. Not the whole world revolves around you, Sasuke. Now tell me what you were doing with him? And what was it with him bringing you home so late in the night? What were you doing?"

For some reason, I wanted to make him angrier. I don't know what it was. Maybe because I hadn't seen him in so long and I wanted to engage some sort of emotion in him. He was so serious, so strange. I honestly just didn't care that he would be angry. Maybe it was the rebel inside of me that was to take fault for such a thing. Either way, there was something wrong with me in saying such a thing to him like I said in this moment.

"I snuck out. I got into his car. We went to the movies."

It seriously made him mad. Really, really mad.

"And you only came back just now? What else were you doing with him in order for you to come back at such a late time?" He was pissed beyond the extreme. Beyond words He was saying all of this through gritted teeth. His fists were clenched, and, for some reason, there were tears in his eyes. Why were there tears in his eyes? He wasn't that mad, was he? He had to regain his composure as he spoke again. He was shaking so bad. What the hell was going on? "I told you, Sasuke. He's bad news. I'm begging you never to see him again." He was begging me? Now he wasn't ordering me? There was something severely wrong with this picture. My brother never begged. He was a man. He wasn't me.

Really. What was going on? Why was it so bad that I went out with Naruto? Despite the fact that he was older than me and that we just went out until one in the morning out on the town. What was the whole drama between him and my brother? I wanted to know. Why wouldn't they just tell me? I wasn't a kid anymore. I was going to be eighteen in less than a month or so. Naruto was my boyfriend. Itachi was my brother. I had a right to know. What was this drama that they had between them? If Itachi was acting like this, then it was pretty bad. What happened?

My brother was shaking now. Horribly. I could see how this was affecting him. Naruto was affecting him. I was affecting him. I wanted to know.

I went down a step. He retracted a couple of steps away from me, avoiding my look. He had his head down. He was probably crying. Maybe. His shoulders were shaking pretty bad. I don't think I've ever seen him cry before. Now I really wanted to know.

"…What happened between you two, Itachi?" I asked about as softly as I could, but, even then, he couldn't bear to tell me. He didn't want to. His shoulders shook harder. He was going to blow. Eventually, he was going to tell me.

But he shook his head. This was huge.

"It doesn't concern you." He told me. He was putting his big man face. His defenses were up. He moved away from me. Into the living room. Into the darkness. He sat on the couch. I followed suit after him. I didn't turn on the lights. He wouldn't like me to see him cry. So I left them off. I sat by him. He was sniffling, until, finally, he let out a real cry. And unleashed the sorrow that resided in his heart. With anger aiding its side like a trustworthy sidekick. "I don't know what you see in him, Sasuke. He's a liar and a fake. He's using you."

That wasn't true. If he was using me, what would he use me for? Sex? Doubtful. As for the liar and fake thing, he was being honest about everything. As far as I knew, at least. He hadn't faltered in his ways. Except for the thing going on between him and Itachi that he stills fails to explain to me. But that was him just being secretive. Not a liar. I still didn't know many things about him. As well as he didn't know many things about me. This was just Itachi being Itachi; he just didn't want to see me with him. Not that he ever did. But he didn't want to hear about him. Nothing about him at all. The topic of him and him alone was a null and void person to talk about. I was angry. Itachi was being his usual, negative self. The overly protective big brother, as some people would like to call it. I rose from the couch, suddenly shaking from head to toe. With anger. I switched the light on. He wasn't crying anymore, but his eyes were still filled to the brim with tears. There was still fresh pain swimming around in them.

I pointed at him. My finger shook uncontrollably.

"You are being such a…" There was no right word for what he was being right now. Nothing fit respectably. I went for the most delicate, alternative approach. Or something close to it. Or maybe nothing at all. "Why are you being this way? What did he ever do to you?" He bristled at the question. I swear I heard him growl.

"Everything, Sasuke. You don't understand. He ruined my life." Judging by the way he said it, it was probably true. Could be true. However, I didn't know what to believe at the moment. What he was saying to me right now all sounded like a lie. Like he didn't even know the way my own boyfriend was. I knew the way he was. I knew him deeper than anyone did. I knew many more things about what Naruto did and didn't know than Itachi did. He thought he knew everything, didn't he?

"How? In what way?" I asked him, challenging him that he provided me with what I hoped was the truth.

But I doubted that he would ever tell me. I don't think I was ever going to know. No matter how much I pressed for it. He made sure of it. He stood, towering over me. The thought of it was intimidating, but not at the moment.

"Maybe he'll tell you, if you think he's so great." He snarled at me.

That made me angry. Very angry. So…

"Maybe he will! After all, we are official, in case you didn't know!"

Oh, I knew that that wasn't the right thing to say. In fact, I don't even think I probably should have even mentioned it at all. I don't think he was angry. No, not angry. In fact, his whole face changed. The blood drained from his face. He went white. Pale white. Like if he'd seen a ghost. He was, if anything, scared. Which was impossible. I had to be dreaming, right?

Itachi didn't get scared. Never. He was always the brave one in the family. He was the first one up for dares. The first one up for asking someone out. The first one to go into a haunted house if asked to. He walked straight into danger and never looked back.

So, why did he suddenly look so scared now? Of my getting my first boyfriend? Wasn't he supposed to be ecstatic for me?

He sat back down on the couch, perturbed by my words. He was shaky all over again. He looked up at me. His eyes were serious. He shook his head.

"You have to break up with him." He told me. "Break up with him now. I don't want you to get hurt."

Hurt? Why would Naruto hurt me? He was my boyfriend. He would never hurt me.

"Why? He hasn't done anything. He's perfect. And, besides, you're not the boss of me. You shouldn't tell me what to do."

"I'm your older brother. You have to listen to me, Sasuke. Listen to reason."

I was getting frustrated.

"Well, then, why the hell don't you tell me, Itachi! What the hell is your reason? Why is he so bad for me? What has he done to you that he hasn't done to me?" I really, really wanted to know. I mean, if it was as bad as he thought it was, then I think he should tell me right now. And, if it's not, then it wasn't that important to break a relationship over.

Itachi knew that. Yet he insisted on not telling me a thing. He shook his head. Looked away from me. Sat back on the couch. The battle was lost. I won. For once. Strangely, though, I didn't feel much like a winner. At least not in the moment, especially when Itachi looked at me the way he did. Right before he tore his gaze away once more to look away from me yet again. His eyes narrowed as he spoke.

"Fine. If you want your relationship with him to poison you, go right ahead and kill yourself." He spat out. His voice cracked at the word 'kill'.

And then the conversation was over. Just like that. I didn't even wait for him to say anything else, despite the idea that he wasn't about to say much more. After all, those were the most haunting words I'd ever heard him say to me, and I didn't want to stay for a second more, only to probably hear more hurtful words reach my ears. No. Such words were painful. Especially when they weren't true. I climbed up the stairs, not even caring anymore that I woke up my parents. I'm pretty sure Itachi and I made enough noise enough to make them stir in their sleep. I was tired. I had to sleep on what just happened. Maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn't. Either way, I refused to believe it. Naruto wasn't like that.

But that was just about as far as I knew.

Dammit, why did I have to have a boyfriend and drama and an overly protective strange brother and my fatness to worry about all at once? Anything else, and I was going to blow from all the stress…

* * *

><p>In the following week, I still found myself texting Naruto. And he texted me back just as happily. Adding smiley faces and frowny faces and epic faces along the way. Might I add, overusing them as well. And, over the many days that I texted him and talked to him on the phone, Itachi ignored me, yet still found the time to meddle in my life as well, making snide comments about Naruto. As usual. I ignored him. Or, at least, I tried my best to. It was hard, considering the fact that he was staying for a good amount of time. I guess Mom and Dad missed him. I didn't blame them. I mean, he was the only social human being in the family. I was the quiet one. My parents understood that I didn't like to talk, so it only made sense that they begged Itachi to stay the night after they found him passed out on the couch. I suppose he forgot to leave. Maybe. Or maybe he was doing this on purpose. To keep an eye on me. To get the details on Naruto's relationship with me. Despite I never told him anything about my personal life. I never would. So, having him tag along wherever I went was annoying. Either way, I wasn't going to do what he asked of me. Naruto was my boyfriend, and just because he said a couple of words and sentences many nights ago, I knew I wasn't going to go along with them. I wasn't a pushover to abide by my brother's rules. I was at the end of my rebel line. I was going to break rules no matter what Itachi said. Or at least I would try to.<p>

Today was the first of July, the day my parents got married so many years ago. Today my parents were having a party. And, let me be a little honest here, I think they seemed a little too excited about it, the way they were running around all over the house, ordering both me and Itachi to go pick up some stuff from the store, or to go clean our rooms - not like we were going to have the party in there, but, God forbid that we do - or to do some other stupid things that I didn't think was necessary. I mean, yeah, I know, it was my parents' anniversary and it was all about the foundation of marriage and its success in all the years and all that hubbub, but that wasn't something to get all hot and bothered about so easily. Maybe it was just my thought. Maybe I just didn't care about such trivial things like that. Maybe everyone else except me did care. Man, even Itachi was caught up in all the excitement. He seemed a bit more happier than usual. Which was weird. I'd never actually seen a smile that actually made his eyes crinkle at the sides. Now that was a creepy sight, if you ask me. Not that I'd ever seen him smile, but it was a weird sight. I rarely saw that from him.

Anyway, the party started at around six or so later in the evening. I had to wear my best clothes, which was difficult enough to put on. Especially when I was just thinking about it. I was sweating by the time I was fastening the button on my slacks. I only found the smallest bit of strength in me to slip into my shirt, which fit me kind of tight. It was hard enough to button it up as well. By the time I finished getting dressed, I felt as though I needed to take a shower again. God, it was embarrassing to walk around sweating through my shirt. And my pants. Hell, even my underwear. It was disgusting. And the thought of anyone touching me was horrifying. Actually, just the thought of anyone being near me was worse. I hated sweating. I think I sweat more than a pig. Wasn't it bad enough that I looked like one already?

Well, either way, I don't think I'd have time to discuss that. Naruto was calling me. Once more - as always, actually - I felt my heart skip a beat. I smiled and clicked my phone open.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing today?" That soft, velvety voice oozed through my ears like warm chocolate. It was such a sweet sound, his voice. I could just sit here forever and listen to him, if I could. And if I didn't have plans for tonight, of course. "Oh, and, hi, babe." 'Babe'? Oh, my gosh, did you hear that? He called me babe! Not that he's ever done it before. He has. On many occasions. When he texts me, or calls me, or messages me through Facebook. Isn't he the sweetest?

Okay, Sasuke, stop. Girl mode deactivated. Seriously. Why did I swoon so much over the simplest things he did or said? Was it because he was so perfect? Just so perfectly fitted out of my league? And just the simplest thought of him remembering me at all as his boyfriend made my heart go all aflutter? So I was being a little melodramatic about all of this. As crazy as it sounds, even after so many weeks of going out and communicating with each other and staying together throughout all these past few weeks, I still can't find it in me to believe my luck. I'm still in utter shock at how I could get someone like Naruto to even look at someone like me. It was all so unbelievable. Like another reality or something. Maybe I was the only one who felt like this. I was certain Naruto was sure of himself, too. That he could get anyone, so I understood that he couldn't be the one who felt the way I did. All shocked and stuff.

"Um, my parents' anniversary is today. I have to be here." I made it sound so depressing. Like I was going to a funeral.

He sighed.

"Damn. I was hoping you didn't have anything going on. I wanted to see you. I made plans for us…"

He did? For today? And where? Oh, how I wanted to be with him right now. But I couldn't. Family came first. As it always did even before time. My heart raced as I picked my stuff up from the floor, trying to focus solely on my boyfriend on the other line, as well as not trying to think about the plans he had for us today. But I found myself asking either way. I was curious as to what kind of plans he was going to push against my own will. Before he found out I had plans.

"Yeah? Well, by any chance, would you care to tell me what kind of plans you had in mind for today?"

He let out a quiet puff of breath, then he hummed softly. I'd heard that sound before. He was about ready to fool me. I knew my boyfriend. I paid attention to the little details that no one ever thought was necessary. I was painfully observant, almost to the extent of being nosy.

"It was nothing, really. Just going out on the town. Sort of a spontaneous night planned out for us."

Crap. Total crap. He had planned something spectacular. No doubt about it. As a matter of fact, it almost seemed as though he'd had planned something like this out for a while, depending on how nervous he sounded. Which was only by a lot. Honestly. Didn't he know me at all? Or did he really think I wouldn't see right through that? I was his boyfriend, for God's sake. Man, he was so wrong. Way off by a lot. I sighed.

"…Did your plans involve wearing a suit of some kind? On both our parts?"

Yep. I got him. That was probably a huge part of it. Because he grew oddly silent on the other line. And then he started stuttering and saying it wasn't, which I didn't believe a bit about. It made me laugh, to be honest. I liked that he was at a loss for words because of me. He was flubbing like me. I'd never done that to a boy before. I felt powerful and on top of the world now. My life was complete. He gave in eventually and admitted to the wretched idea of dressing fancy for a date. Wasn't it enough that I had to wear crap like this for my parents' anniversary? It wasn't even my anniversary for me to celebrate! Why did I have to dress up?

"Yeah. But, I mean, you know the reason why I would have asked you to dress up for tonight, right?"

Oh… There was a reason? Shit. Now it was my turn to stutter. Damn, damn, damn. I thought he was just taking me out because he was my boyfriend. I didn't necessarily think there had to be a reason at all. I thought he was just being nice. Just being my boyfriend and all that jazz. Weren't boyfriends supposed to do random bouts of kindness for their partners? They weren't supposed to be all planned out. So what the hell was supposed to be the reason for Naruto doing this? I was so screwed. Would he break it off with me if I didn't remember? Melodramatic, yes, but I was faced with cases like this once. Okay, not with me. With other people. Distant friends. Acquaintances. Okay, fine, movies. The information provided there is not precisely 100% correct and/or reliable, but, hey, sometimes it was. Don't judge me. Naruto is my first boyfriend, after all. Being a little paranoid about mostly everything in my first and only relationship was perfectly normal on my part. Still, though, there was that little empty space in the back of my brain that remembered nothing of importance in our relationship. Other than that fated day of him asking to be my boyfriend. That day was pretty bad ass. How long ago was that? One, two, three weeks ago? Right? Hmm. That long? Wow. Almost a month. Unless it was a month already.

…Wait a minute. Is that what it was? Is that why he planned such an eloquent night for us? Wearing fancy suits for today? Because today was our first month anniversary? Shit! How the hell could I forget to remember that? Oh, Naruto must hate me for not remembering. I was such a bad boyfriend! Someone should smack the back of my hands with a ruler. Cruel punishments of a thousand lashes against my back shall commence. I will forever be remembered as the anniversary-forgetter of all the past ex-boyfriends that Naruto once had. I'll be in the past. He hates me so much right now. I can feel it. Damn it, I feel like such a douche.

"…You didn't know today was our one month anniversary, did you?" He asked softly, and, my God, you just can't imagine how hard that hit me. How small his voice sounded. He really hoped I would have figured it out. That I would have been looking forward to it. I mean, I would have. Had I remembered. I was a bad person. But I wasn't going to lie to him and tell him that I did remember and that it was all I could think about all week. It wasn't. The farthest thing from my mind. Not even on my mind at all, actually. I was such a bad person. I really didn't know. I only just took the time to figure it out now. How could I not know? What kind of boyfriend was I?

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I hadn't… even thought about that. I didn't even think that you were the type to, well -"

"What, remember one of the most important days of my life? Honestly, Sasuke, what kind of guy do you think I am? I'm not a guy to forget important dates. I'm better than that."

"You are. And I'm the worst for not remembering. I'm so sorry." I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Babe, you're not the worst. You didn't know. It's okay." He was so calm about it. He even had the gall to laugh. Albeit, he was a bit nervous, he still laughed!

"It's not okay, Naruto! And don't laugh at me!" He muttered a soft apology. It really wasn't okay. Why was he just letting something like this slide? He had to teach me the right way to be a good boyfriend. The way he was. Why was he so understanding? Wasn't he mad? I know I would be if he forgot something important like our first anniversary. Just like I was doing. Why the hell wasn't he going crazy? "I mean, you had something planned for us tonight. We were going to wear suits, and you were going to take me out to God knows where - probably somewhere fancy, right? - and we were probably going to end up dancing the night away, just like in the movies. And then, after everything, you'll have to take me home before the clock strikes midnight, because if my parents notice I'm gone by then, they'll find someplace to stuff me at the highest point of a tower for the rest of my life, with a dragon guarding the last bit of my purity." Insane, I know. But it could happen, right?

I suppose it couldn't. At least not with Naruto laughing the way he was over the phone. How dare he! My thought processing may have seemed insane, but it was not to be mocked. And wasn't he supposed to be understanding now? Ah, make up your damn mind, Sasuke! Do you want him to be understanding or not? Gosh, being in a relationship was hard. Makes you want to pull your hair out.

"You watch too many damn movies, Sasuke. That's why you need to get out more. With me. Tonight." He was demanding me. Again. Like he did a week ago. Honestly. Was he one of those overprotective, overbearing, jealous types kind of boyfriends? Because, I got to admit, that's pretty hot. Not that it's irresistible or anything - no doubt about it that it is, either way - but the whole thought of it is pretty nice. In a way. A small way. A twisted way, maybe. Okay, probably not at all, but it keeps him interested, right? God, I really hoped so. I think it did. At least with the next couple of sentences he said. "Listen, I know it's your parents' anniversary and all, and I know that they'd like you to be there, and I know it's the right thing to do if you stay. But… it's our one month anniversary. Can't you get out of it? By no means am I trying to make it sound as offensive as it came out. I just really want to see you."

He didn't know how much those words affected me. If I could, I would have done exactly what he asked of me. Gladly. However, much of that was not to be expected, what with my parents' anniversary being the most important thing in my life at the moment. My personal life didn't matter now. At least, not for my parents. They didn't know a thing about him, and, even if they did - or if they even knew about our relationship at all - I doubted they'd let me get out of their special event just to go out and see him. And I wasn't going to ruin their day just like that. Just because Naruto wanted me to get out and celebrate our anniversary. Sure, I didn't want to be here, and it was boring as hell, but I wasn't about to ditch my parents. They'd kill me. Itachi too, if he knew - which he would eventually figure out - I was out with Naruto. No. I wasn't that much of a bad person. I wasn't about to go and pass out on family events to go out with my boyfriend. I wasn't going to become that type of person so early in the relationship. I wasn't even like that, I bet, given the circumstances. Damn, despite the circumstances. I wasn't going to do that.

"Naruto, I can't. My parents would blow a fuse if they found me MIA. I can't just ditch out on this. It's a family event." I explained to him, and I know he understood. He sighed in defeat. He knew he wasn't about to get me to leave this place. I'd be on official lockdown if I ever tried to escape the clutches of a family event. I'd learned my lesson last year, and I wasn't about to do it again. Even for my hot piece of ass boyfriend. I felt so bad now. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I know it's our one month anniversary and I know that this might be one of the only times we'll ever get to celebrate something like this, but it'll have to wait. At least until tomorrow."

This didn't bode well with Naruto.

"But it won't make sense, Sasuke. Anniversaries are supposed to be done on the day they were first initiated. They can't just be done the next day. That's not the way it goes. That's not the day we got together."

This was hard enough without him trying to guilt me into ditching out on my family. It wasn't the right thing to do. He knew that, so why was he insisting on trying to get me out of it? I wasn't that much of a bad boy like he was.

"Naruto, I -"

The phone was yanked out of my hand too quickly for me to protest against the foreign movement. I was expecting Itachi to come into my room and invade my privacy. But it wasn't. In his place instead stood my mother. She had a huge smile on her face as she looked down at me. My heart crashed against my chest and my whole body instantly went numb. She didn't know about him. She didn't know he was my boyfriend. She didn't know anything about me, and, if she found out, what would she do? Oh, my God.

I struggled with her to grab the phone from her. She reeled back from me as she spoke into the phone, holding her hand over my face. She grinned down at me as I yanked her hand away. This didn't stop her from speaking to my boyfriend. Oh, man, I was so dead.

"Hi, dear, this is Sasuke's mother. I hear you're his boyfriend." I went rigidly still. How the hell did she know? All that Naruto said about her skulking around in my stuff, and in my internet browser history, was it true? Could he be right? Unless Itachi told her. I would get him later. Right now, I had this to worry about. What negativities would she have to say to him? I saw her nodding. She stared at me as he spoke. Then she spoke again. "Oh, really? It's your one month anniversary? No kidding… Yes, it's our anniversary as well. It's very nice to know that my son is having his first one month anniversary with such a nice boy like you. I think it would go along better for the both if you if I invited you over. Your parents and your sister are coming over. After it's over, the both of you can go out and celebrate. But, please, bring him back at a respectable time, dear. You may be his first boyfriend, but I am still his mother… Of course I know you respect that. You're a very nice boy… Absolutely! We don't mind at all. Just throw on something nice and come on over. You know where we live, am I right? Oh, why am I asking? Of course you do. All right, well, Sasuke's getting a little antsy to talk to you. I do hope you come over. Goodbye, sweetheart, see you in a little while." And she handed me the phone, but I didn't speak into the receiver just yet.

I stared at my mother for the longest of moments. She stared back at me, grin still etched onto her lips, dark brown eyes glittering back at me. They crinkled at the sides. Really. There was no way I could fight against something so beautiful as that. I couldn't stay mad at her. Still, I wasn't going to let her get away without an explanation. I signaled for her to stay, just about as gently as I could signal her to stay for a moment more. She did. She sat on the bed, petite hands folding into her lap gently. I took one last look at her before I refocused my attention to Naruto, just to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't. she stayed as still as life would allow her. She grinned back at me threefold. Honestly. Who was this woman before me? Could this woman be my mother? How could she smile so large and not split her face in two? Did I really come from her? And, if I did, why the hell didn't I have a smile like hers? I was jealous. I spoke into the receiver.

"Hey."

As soon as I spoke, he chuckled softly.

"You were getting antsy?"

I scoffed. As if… maybe just a little. Well, how would anyone not be if they were listening to their own mother talking to a boyfriend who was supposed to be kept secret? I was actually terrified. He wasn't going to know that.

"No. I was just…" Off the subject, Sasuke, get off the subject, like, now. No lovey dovey stuff. My mother was watching me. I turned away from her as my cheeks burned. "So, you're coming over?"

He fell for the subject change. He laughed. I glowered onto a spot on the wall.

"Yeah. And I'll dress nice. But not any nicer than you. Don't want to outshine you."

I rolled my eyes.

"Like you ever could."

He knew what I was talking about. Me. My fatness. Ah, how he hated that subject. What? It wasn't as though I was going to avoid the elephant in the room forever. He had to see it sometime. Whether he'd like to, or not; it was still there. And it was going to be there for a considerable amount of time, considering my eating habits.

"You're not fat." He told me. His voice sounded so serious. I didn't believe him. My fat was still here. Overlapping my slacks, barely allowing the button or zipper or belt to clasp properly over it. And my shirt… My God, it's so tight, I can even barely breathe. But I wasn't about to argue with him about this. Not with my mother sitting on my bed a couple of feet away. He wasn't about to continue it, either. "Anyway, I'll see you in a little while. All right?"

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

And we both hung up. I didn't want to face my mother, though. Mostly because I was ashamed of myself. And sort of angry. For what, you may seem to be asking, when I knew she had the right of being so with me. Well, I had good reasons. She was going through my private and personal stuff. She had no right to. She had to respect some sort of privacy of mine, considering I barely had any around here. At times.

"Sasuke… why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" Maybe because he's off limits. You know, Sakura's half-brother and all? I heard her rise from the bed. She rested her hand upon my shoulder. At the touch, I turned to look at her. "You know I'm not the type to judge. He's a very nice boy. He was a very respectable boy at Sakura's dinner party. Takes after his father. And his mother, I'm sure; I've heard she's very nice." Mother, did it ever occur to you that Naruto's over the legal age? Probably. Either way, I don't know why she approved. Other than the fact that he was nice and all. But, hey, if she knew that he practically molested me on the night we met, she wouldn't exactly be thinking he was nice. However, I wasn't going to say anything about what happened that night. Or that other night. Or the other night. Let's just leave it at that I wasn't going to tell her a single damn thing. She was just happy to hear that I had a boyfriend, I guess. That smile would not falter from her lips. Actually, it wasn't even a smile, it was more of a shit-eating grin. "Anyway, honey, I'm so happy for you. Why didn't you tell me about him sooner?"

I shrugged. But, of course, I had no need to. I knew why.

"He's Sakura's half-brother, Mom. She doesn't know we're going out. Nobody knows. If anyone knew, it'd get around to her. And I don't know what she'd do. I'd like to keep this a secret. Please?"

To this, she stared at me strangely. Not in a way that classified her as looking at me like I was an alien or anything. She looked at me like she pitied me or something close to that. I don't know what it was, but I knew she understood. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me against her. She was hugging me. God, I'd forgotten how warm her hugs were. Kind of like Naruto's bear hugs, if only a little more gentle. She kissed my cheek softly and pulled back to look at me properly. She grasped my face with both hands. She was so warm. Her eyes were teary. Was that really necessary? Her crying? Just because I got a boyfriend? It wasn't that big a deal for her to shed tears over. Well, maybe, but at this moment? Come on. She was better than that. She was a strong woman, my mom was.

"I won't say a thing, but you'll have to keep an eye out for Sakura. I'll be busy throughout the whole night, so I won't have all the time in the world to keep tabs on her, okay?" I nodded. Her eyes grew even more teary. She embraced me once more. "I knew it. From that day that him and Itachi got into that fight. I just knew there was something there. That something was going on between the both of you. The way he looked at you. The way you looked at him. Oh, dear, it's as though I was seeing your father and I all over again in that moment you cared for that boy. Except, well… n-not exactly the same, but close enough." My cheeks burned. How could she have known anything? For all that I knew, she wouldn't tap into my internet browser history. Or my recent calls. Or my messages. I think all that she noticed was merely by pure instinct. She could be lying, for all I knew. She couldn't get in on this kind of information simply by pure instinct. Mothers weren't all that powerful in the snooping. Unless she did go through my stuff.

But no. My mother wasn't like that. She wasn't the type to snoop around. Well, unless her younger, fat, much different son opposite of Itachi suddenly had a boy traipsing after him, then, yes, I think she was qualified enough to snoop around. It didn't mean I was going to let her, though. I pulled away from her.

"How'd you find out?"

She only shrugged and smiled casually, releasing me. She started to head out the door. Oh, yeah, she wasn't going to tell me. But she stopped and leaned against the doorframe of my bedroom door. She got this faraway look in her eyes. They weren't teary anymore.

"When you like someone, Sasuke, you change. You may not notice it, but other people do. Whenever such people are around you, the happiness that such a person causes inside of you becomes contagious. And such a light that meets your eyes is beautiful. I'd never seen your eyes twinkle before, Sasuke, and I'm your mother. I should see things like that more often." Now she was trying to make me feel guilty? She was supposed to be happy that I wasn't my cranky self around the house anymore. But… all that she was saying… Was it true? Did I really act that way and not notice? Was I all happy on the outside as well? Was I not being secretive enough about my first relationship? Man, I was so bad at this. "I can see how happy he makes you. And it makes me happy, knowing that such a nice boy like Naruto has come into your life. I knew someone like him would eventually find you."

Eventually? She thought the idea of my whole relationship with Naruto was strange as well. No doubt about it. But she seemed keen on making me believe that wasn't the gist of it at all. She truly believed in her heart that I would find someone like Naruto. It was visible in her eyes. In her smile. In the way she embraced me once more and kissed my cheek. She believed in me. Strangely enough. I never would have thought I'd find anyone. Then again, stranger things have happened. I mean, come on, a pregnant man/woman has embarked our world. However, that of a fat gay guy finding what he desires most in life? I refuse something like that can happen, and that of my mother being all nonchalant about this, when I knew she was just about as astounded as I was. No use hiding it, right? Still, she smiled all the way through.

And then she left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Welp, I hope it was good. I like Sasuke's mom; she's amazing. I'd like to think that she's a big part of this story. :) As well as some other characters I won't mention just yet. Big hint for you. The change is afoot, so be prepared.

And, if you can, review, please. Thank you much. :D

**P.S.** I'm skipping a lot of weeks, huh? Meh, who cares; their relationship progresses faster like this.

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	8. Anniversary: Part II

**A/N:** Part II! :D Took me a while, but I got it out; writer's block was challenging me to a battle. D: Le gasp! Haha. But, well, I hope this is good. Fluff, I suppose this chapter is. I don't know, maybe a little realism as well, just to get you guys real into it. :P

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>It took Naruto less than ten minutes to get here. Which was weird, considering he was staying at Sakura's house; it was about twenty minutes from my house. I was surprised he didn't get a speeding ticket. Or that he didn't get the SWAT team on his ass. But, other than the fact that he was almost a delinquent, he cleaned up pretty good. He probably looked a little better than I did. He wore a baby blue button-up shirt and khaki slacks. A khaki blazer was slung over his shoulder. God, he looked hot. I suddenly felt too underdressed compared to him. However, his shoes were a complete different story. Converse. Bright red. Ah, Naruto, you dressed well, but the shoes are just a mess. I don't think it mattered to him, though. As soon as he saw me, he grinned so big. Then he practically attacked me by kissing me full on the mouth, his gorilla hands almost enveloping my head completely in his embrace. He almost made me fall. He removed one of his gorilla hands to steady us against the front door of my house. He pressed me against it. I was losing my breath. I was losing myself. He was kissing me so hard. Or… passionately? I didn't know. Either way, I was losing my breath. Really. Since when did he get so eager to kiss me? I wasn't that hot. But he obviously thought so. He couldn't keep his hands off me. Or his tongue out of my mouth.<p>

I pushed against his chest as gently as I could as his mouth tore away from mine to settle against my neck, teeth grazing against my sensitive skin immediately, ready to bite. God. What if someone saw us? Or worse? What if Sakura came by any moment? She wasn't here yet, so the element of surprise was in waiting. One way or the other, I don't think I was in a state of talking to her or being anywhere near her. At least not with Naruto causing this to me. I was breathing hard. He was breathing hard. His forehead was pressed against mine. Our breaths intermingled. He smelled nice. I closed my eyes as he touched at my lips gently. He traced his index finger over them. The touch sent chills traveling up my spine. I shuddered, my eyes fluttered open to meet his baby blue eyes. He laughed softly. I blushed and looked away to the side as to avoid the way he touched me so gently. Or the way he looked at me. But he pushed something up between us. I looked at it. It was a gift. For me. I looked at him. He smiled at me.

"Happy one month anniversary."

Dang it. Why did I keep forgetting this was the main reason he was here? Other than the fact my mother invited him. I didn't have a gift for him. Crap. Even so, I wouldn't have time to look for one. I was ashamed of myself. What kind of guy was I to forget my first anniversary with Naruto? He was special. I was bad. I felt bad.

"…I didn't get you anything…" I said softly as he handed me the gift. He only continued to smile with those pearly whites. Pretty.

"Just being here with you is a good enough gift for me." He murmured, a blush dusting over his cheeks as he pulled away, as to give me room to open my present.

Aw, we were both just big wads of marshmallows, weren't we? Yeah, we were. And it only made me feel worse that I didn't get him anything. I didn't want to open it. The wrapping was so pretty. The bow was gorgeous. And the thought of him getting me something was very well-mannered. But he seemed happy enough to get me a gift instead, even though I didn't get him one. Come on. He couldn't be serious. What person didn't like to receive a gift in exchange to give a gift? Hadn't he ever heard of Christmas? Oh, Naruto, why can't you be more human?

I smiled anyway and patted his cheek, then I kissed him gently as thanks.

"You're such a cornball." I chuckled. He shrugged, and nodded slightly as though he knew. The blush remained on his cheeks. I sighed, suddenly wondering. "What made you that way? Why are you so nice?"

He shrugged again.

"It's just the way I was raised, Sasuke. Don't question my motives for being an utter gentleman to my own boyfriend. Now, stop doubting me and open your gift."

"I wasn't -"

"Just open it, babe. I think you're really going to like this."

I scowled at him. But he grinned. And it melted away. Well, almost. He kissed me and it was basically shot out of the water. However, I didn't want to open the gift. It was so beautiful. Did he do this all on his own? There weren't signs of any creases or anything on the wrapping paper. And the bow looked as though it wasn't even handled. It looked pretty. I shook the longer I held onto it. He put so much thought into this. It brought tears to my eyes. Mostly tears of joy. Naruto was so amazing. I wasn't going to open it. Not now. We had my parents' anniversary to get to. And I didn't want to ruin the wrapping. I looked back up at him.

"Maybe later. When we're alone." I told him. He looked disappointed. Aw, why did he have to look at me like that? I kissed the corner of his lips. That made a small smile quirk at the tender touch. "I don't want to ruin the surprise just yet. I mean…" I looked down at the gift and fondled the ribbon gently, careful as to not crease the beauty of it. Did he really take the time to do all of this by himself? Just for me? I smiled as I continued to finger the gift with sudden fascination, blushing. "The wrapping… and the ribbon… It's so pretty." It sparkled, really. And he laughed. Like an actual hearty laugh. I blushed even harder. "Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not." He giggled. He totally was, the liar. "It's just… you get all mushy over the gift's wrapper and the ribbon… The trivial little things fascinate you, I've noticed."

"They're not trivial. You put a lot of thought into it, right?"

"I did. But just the gift. Not the way it was wrapped, babe. However, as my mother always told me, presentation is key."

I looked down at his shoes, eyebrows raised.

"Indeed, it is."

He looked down. He shuffled his feet nervously. He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I don't like the way dress shoes fit me. They squeeze my toes past breathing room."

I roll my eyes at him and take his arm as I open the door.

"Come on. My mom's waiting for you."

But his arm slips right past my grip. And I suddenly wonder if he's terrified of meeting her. Though, that's not what it is. His arm continues to travel past my wrist and beyond until our hands meet. Then his fingers intertwine with my own. He squeezes them gently. The action sends shivers traveling up and down my spine. And I get the urge to pull away. I know that my mom knows about us and everything. But what about my dad? Or the other people attending this family event? They didn't know. No one knew. Wasn't this a little bit too much? The grip I have on his fingers loosen. But his grip tightens. I look over my shoulder at him. He grins. Not much I can do of the situation anymore if he's smiling like that. Happy. Dammit.

I walk down through the hallway, the whole time blushing a deep, deep red, suddenly unsure of what he's done. Practically my whole family's in there. What would they say? What would the rumors be? Would they scowl like they did when my mother told them I was gay? She was one of the only people who was happy with whatever decision I made. My father respected it. Itachi was fine with it. But my other family members weren't. I'd only met them a couple of times, so I didn't really know. Either way, I don't think I wanted to know. Still, I pulled right on through the hallway and into the dining room, my anniversary gift pressed tightly against my chest. Naruto and I stood at the doorway, still holding hands. My family was sitting around the dining table, talking. Laughing. There was a commotion in the kitchen between my mother and grandmother. Something about the food not being cooked to perfection. They looked so much alike it was scary. It was a happy commotion, though. They were still smiling even though they were arguing. Of course, they should be. It was a happy event. Why wouldn't they be? How bad would it be if I ruined it? Because Naruto and I were holding hands? That would wreck the whole event. My parents wouldn't want that. Might as well avoid a disaster.

I turned away from the doorway and almost went running up to my bedroom and locked myself in there for the rest of the night and spent it with Naruto to celebrate our one month anniversary, but he held me back; he didn't want to take the coward's way out. Well, he stopped me, but my mother's voice held me back in doing what I would have liked to.

"Oh, honey, come in and introduce your guest." My mother's chirpy voice echoed in the kitchen. In the dining room. In the house. Damn, in the whole world. Well, at least in my head it sounded like such.

It seemed as though everything went silent. Everyone turned their heads my way. Everything seemed to go by in slow motion. My heart crashed against my chest as Naruto pulled me back towards the doorway, giving my fingers an affectionate squeeze, before shoving me out to face my family. I had my anniversary gift crushed against my chest so tightly. I was afraid I would break anything that might have been of great value that Naruto had chosen for me. Oh, God. This was all too soon. Naruto couldn't be meeting my family just yet. It was just too much. Too much stress to handle. Too much to handle for me. Wasn't it too much for him? I could only imagine if it was. Either way, he seemed to put on a pretty good face; he was smiling like there was no tomorrow.

My family wasn't, though. They were all very still. Very serious. Watching us like a lion watches her defenseless prey. Even the kids that were running around and laughing actually stopped playing to take a good look at the newcomers that we suddenly felt like. Talk about awkward. My hand shook. I was sweating. My face was red, and it was only getting redder the more that these people I considered my family looked at me. My mouth was so dry. I don't think I was going to be able to speak. Oh, they must have thought I was a bumbling idiot. What an impression I was making on the family, right? Not that I was making much of a name for myself anyway. They probably must have thought I was useless enough with my fat lard hanging over my too tight slacks and too tight shirt. I couldn't breathe. My heart sputtered against my chest even harder, struggling to work under the pressure. I had to say something. Anything. But what?

"Hi, everyone. Um, I'm Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto said, and, thank God, he did. If they waited any longer for a response from me, I probably would have ended up throwing up. He squeezed my fingers as though it was an attempt to calm me. I did. A little. He turned to look over at my mother. "I apologize if my coming here was a little unexpected for your family, Mrs. Uchiha."

To this, my mother laughed, waving off his words as though they were nothing but. She neared us, arms open wide. Naruto released my hand. Reluctantly. I felt oddly empty. My mother embraced him. Then she pulled away after a moments' time, smiling widely. She kissed both his cheeks, looking positively amused. He flushed softly, grinning now. He took my hand in his grip once more. My heart jumped pleasantly at the touch. It made me blush even more. I'm pretty sure everyone noticed. Even my mother. She smiled even wider.

"Nonsense, dear. I invited you. It's my anniversary; they don't matter." What a daring woman my mother was. I thought she cared what everyone thought. She was always so sweet. Unless it was just because of me that she didn't care what the family wanted or expected. I was proud of her. She looked over at me and kissed my nose. My lips twitched upward. She pushed us through the doorway, and the family resumed in their conversations once more, laughing and talking again. As we walked past them with our hands held, they stared. Some stared off at us in confusion. Others in horror. Some of my older cousins smiled and turned away. And the kids? Well, they pointed and laughed. They didn't understand that this was frowned upon just yet. The attention focused sorely on us was just too much for me. How could Naruto not notice? Or my mother? Was I the only one?

My mother led us into the kitchen. I rested my anniversary gift on the counter and sat on the stool. Naruto joined me, not releasing my hand as he did so. He rested our intertwined hands upon the counter. My mother didn't fail to notice this. But she turned away too quickly for me to take notice of the full smile complimenting her lips.

"Are you hungry?" She asked him gently. She didn't need to ask me. She was already handing me a plate of potato salad and rice. I don't think the meat was ready just yet. Dad was outside with the men of the family making it. Itachi was there. The smell of it all was intoxicating even though the glass door was closed. Naruto smelled it. He nodded exuberantly. My mother laughed. "I hope you like our cooking. It may be nothing like you'll ever taste, compared to your mother's cooking, right?"

He smiled.

"Nah, my mom rarely cooks. She's busy working most of the time. I do all the cooking for her. So… there's really no argument about this." My mother laughs. Not at him. With him. She catches a glimpse of me. Her eyebrows rise. The corners of her eyes crinkle as she laughs. She approves greatly. I busy myself with my food, releasing Naruto's hand, still blushing that same red.

"Were you planning on cooking for my son here, Naruto? Would have been a great anniversary present."

My food catches in my throat. I'm choking a little. I gasp for air. It's a terrible feeling, choking. Naruto pats me on the back gently, soothing me. I catch my breath after some time. I look at him. He's not looking at me. But he is blushing a fair amount. He keeps his hand on my back.

"I actually, um…" His eyes flicker for a brief second my way. And, in that moment, his blush deepens. He looks away immediately. I feel my heart racing terribly. Had he cooked for me? Was that even on his mind? I wanted to know. That blush of his was so intriguing. He turned back to my mother. This time with an answer. "I thought of it… but the thought of doing it for Sasuke makes me nervous. I just… I didn't trust my instinct."

My mother laughed, shaking her head.

"Oh, dear, please, I'm sure Sasuke will like anything you make for him. He's not picky at all. He's very -"

"Why?" I didn't mean to interrupt my mother, but it bothered me. Why wouldn't he cook for me? What my mother was saying about me was all true. I wasn't picky at all. And anything he made I'd like. For sure. All of it was so true. Why didn't he trust his instincts enough to go upon them?

He looked at me and shrugged. He licked his lips.

"It's just… what if I mess it up? What if I burn something? What if you don't like it? Or you're allergic to specific ingredients? Or something's expired? I didn't want to risk anything." He murmured the last part. My mother was staring at him with such a longing that I was sure it was deep appreciation. Or adoration. She was a fan of him by a lot now. He made the butterflies in my stomach flutter around like crazy. The feelings he gave me were unbelievable. He was so thoughtful. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. And I could have, had I not cared that family was around. Or my mother. Or my grandmother. That lady was strict. She approved of my sexuality and all, just like my mother. She didn't judge. However, I don't think she approved of Naruto being in the same kitchen as her. My mother must have told her about him. And of his age. I don't think she liked it. She was staring at the lot of us in deep concentration while she focused on baking a chocolate cake. Right now she was mixing up her special frosting and I wasn't about to do anything too drastic before her with her doing that. Or behind her back. What if she spit into it? I didn't know what she was capable of. I refrained from touching my boyfriend in any way. I smiled at him instead, blushing.

"Like my mother said, I'd like anything you make for me. For a heads up, though, I'm not allergic to anything. And I love all kinds of food. Well, except anything involving onions. They tend to give one bad breath." It seemed as though my saying this made his eyes sparkle. A great amount. He was staring at me so intensely. I looked away before anything too drastic happened. Like my grandmother whacking me with that chocolate-covered whisk she was holding. She could so use that as a weapon. No doubt she would. On both of us. Naruto sensed this. He refrained from doing anything. He took a glimpse of my grandmother, then immediately looked away as her eyes practically pierced into his soul. It wasn't that he was terrified - although, I definitely knew he was - he was just trying to be respectable around here. Just like I was. Nothing anymore intimate than holding hands would occur under the roof of my house while my family were here. Even if they weren't paying attention. Naruto understood. He smiled at me, then dug into his food.

For a couple of hours, we talked and laughed and ate. As a matter of fact, my family finally got comfortable enough with the idea of Naruto and I, and they invited us to sit in the dining room with them. Naruto was overjoyed. Whenever he talked, he made a bunch of hand gestures. He made my family laugh. He connected with them. Even my little cousin of three was brave enough to even sit on his lap. They had a tickle fight for a couple of minutes, until she got tuckered out. I took the liberty of tucking her into my room. It wasn't as though I was talking much. I didn't feel as comfortable as Naruto did. And they were my family.

Itachi was around the house. He came in and out of the house. He saw Naruto, but did nothing. Just went right back outside with the men, beer in hand. Sakura's parents came by. Sakura didn't, surprisingly. Her parents said she had some errands to run. They knew Naruto and I were together. They said nothing, though; they were cool about Naruto and I dating. Especially when Naruto and I begged them not to tell Sakura. They complied. I actually wanted to see her, despite that her and Naruto would be in the same room, which would be hard enough, considering they're both so close to me. Actually, no, wait, Sakura and I aren't all that close anymore, now that I think of it. For a month. She's texted me and I've texted her, but I don't think we've actually held an actual conversation. About anything, really. It's more like a 'Hey, what's up?' kind of thing. Usually our conversations are more random and hilarious. I remember the days when we talked about the most stupidest things. About what life would be like if ridiculous events happened. We spent most of our friendship laughing. I hardly think that that sort of thing will ever happen between us again anymore. I mean, she doesn't even comment on my Facebook statuses anymore. And she doesn't post stupidities on my wall like she used to. Hilarious comics or pick-up lines. She seemed busy all the time, and, yeah, I realize how busy she is, what with her worrying about college and stuff and summer and basically everything in life. After all, she is moving out of her parents house. Where? I don't know. She only told me that specific detail. Nothing more.

It was terrifying to know that we weren't all that close anymore. Same goes for Ino and Shikamaru. Ino, of course, is still her crazy self with me, but it's not the same without Sakura. And Shikamaru… well, the dude's Shikamaru. He rarely talks. Much less to me. Then again, he's a quiet guy. Never really has anything to say. But, anyway, what I'm trying to say here is, well, I don't have anyone at the moment. Other than Naruto, I mean, actual friends. And, I suppose, even if I had friends, Naruto would probably be the only subject I'd be able to talk about. Actually, no. You know what? What if the strain of my friendships was really just because of me? What if I was the one changing, like my mom said, and I didn't realize it? Dammit, it was useless to try and fix it now. I missed my friends so much. Then again, maybe all wasn't lost. I could call them all up tomorrow and ask them if they wanted to hang out. There was no way they'll be able to refuse, right? Well, sort of. College life is quite time-inducing. I realize that they're not in college just yet, but the pressure is there, hanging over their heads. I believe they won't really have all the time for anything else but that. I'll probably just end up being a nuisance. I'll distract them from what they're supposed to be focusing upon at that moment. Just thinking about it was painful. I believe I had no friends anymore at this point in life.

I sighed as I shut the door to my room closed, closing it on the family commotion downstairs to keep my little cousin from waking up, and closing it on what I believed to be the end of my friendship with my college-bound friends. Okay, not all entirely, but it might as well have felt like it. As I descended the stairs, I heard Naruto's remarkable laugh, along with my family laughing too. It was a pretty sound. I thought my family was a bunch of stick-up-your-ass-too-cool-to-laugh kind of family; they were all so serious. It kind of made me believe that they were all robots once a lifetime ago. A strange thought, but judging by the way they all were, it seemed believable enough. I came to sit at Naruto's side once more, and, once I did, he took my hand. Our fingers linked. I blushed. Hard. And my heart was panicking. I was alarmed. What the hell would the family think? They had to be looking, right? And my grandmother. What would she do? I snuck a glance at my family members. They were still talking and laughing. With each other. They didn't notice this. Naruto was talking with my mother, doing the same, still grasping onto my hand like no tomorrow. I don't know if she noticed or not.

As for my grandmother, though, she noticed. I could sense it from the corner of my eye. She was sitting on the armchair across the loveseat that Naruto and I sat on. She looked like one of those villains in a Disney movie. You know how when they're all plotting and stuff? Exactly like that. And I bet anything she was thinking up ways to snatch Naruto's hand away from mine. Because, oddly enough, she seems to have a soft spot for me, as my mother once told me. Apparently she appreciated me more than any of her other grandchildren. She sends me gifts by mail for my birthday, which is weird because I've never really held much of a conversation with her. Just a couple of sentences here and there. But not enough to make something out of it. Just measly little chitchat. For some reason, I don't think it matters to her. She smiles whenever she sees me. That's just not the case right now. Her lips are pursed together tightly and her eyes are just about burning holes into the back of Naruto's head. Or side. I'm not really paying attention. But it's scary.

I want to slip my hand away so bad. I want to be polite. I don't want to provoke my grandmother. I know this kind of behavior under her roof back at home wasn't allowed with someone who wasn't part of the family, just as it wasn't here when she was around. I looked over at Naruto, but he was still busy laughing and talking; he didn't notice how my grandmother stared at him. I wanted him to snap out of his reverie or something. I wanted him to look over and notice her. Notice that us holding hands wasn't the right thing to do at the moment. I was terrified. My palms were sweating. Maybe I could sweat enough to slip my hand from his. Gross. But possible enough. Honestly, it wasn't like I didn't want to hold his hand. I did. So much. It was just the thing that my grandmother didn't understand that or approve much of an older man residing under the same roof she was under and actually have the gall to date me. At least that's what I thought was going through her head. Maybe it was. Maybe that's why she acted the way she did. Who really knew?I shifted on the couch uneasily. My grandmother crossed her legs, placing her clasped hands in her lap. She raised her eyebrows at me, as if challenging me to release his hand. I could have done it so easily. So easily I could have accomplished this. Naruto did release my hand, but his arm wound around my waist, and I felt his lips press against my temple softly. That caught everyone's attention. Some of my family members ceased in their conversations to stare at us. Others cooed to the sight. My grandmother did none of the above, despite her burning holes into Naruto. And of his impoliteness. Immediately, I stood up, panicked and awestruck at the balls he had to do such a thing.

"We have to go!" I suddenly screeched, face blazing dangerously. Which was girly enough on my part of doing. My family members all stared at me as if I'd grown another head. Or, in my case, gotten fatter. Which was possible, depending on how much I ate tonight. Any family event and I lost myself amidst all the food. Not the case right now. I find myself moving. My feet are stomping across the living room, and out of there. At least, that's where I want to be right now. It's hard, though, when your own boyfriend and mother are blocking your way. Even harder when Naruto has his arm wound around my waist once more, more or likely to keep me from escaping. Just in case. It's too intimate, I feel like telling him. Doesn't he care what the family thinks? What my grandmother thinks? He couldn't be all that bad, right? No one was that bad. I mean, look at him, he was nice - he treated me well - and he was polite with everyone. So why did his mannerisms suck?

"So soon, honey? No, no, no. Stay a while more. I need you to hear this. Both of you." My mother told me. And I didn't think it was necessary for the both of us to stay. Not to sound bitchy or anything, but why did Naruto need to hear what my mother had to say?

Wait.

What did my mother have to say, anyway? And in front of the whole family?

Couldn't wonder about it now. The men had stepped in from outside. My dad was one of the first ones. Itachi followed right behind them. Naruto immediately released my waist. Oh, yeah, with him he panics. But with the family? Noooo. Strange enough, my father looked happy, though. Even when he looked at me and Naruto. His eyes lit up. He practically raced over to be at his side, or, more or less, to shake his hand. He was smiling.

"Good to see you again, son. Shiners are gone, eh?"

Naruto couldn't help but smile at this. How could you smile about that on what I considered to be the worst day of my life? It was really strange how my father remembered him, though. Usually, he wasn't a man to remember much. He is old, you know?

"Of course, sir. It's been weeks." As if remembering the night, his fingers brushed against the side of his eye. A scar is there. I hadn't noticed that. I looked at Itachi accusingly. He stared briefly my way, and looked away just as quickly. Back to Naruto. I didn't fail to notice the way his jaw clenched as he did so. My father and Naruto continued to talk as this happened.

For a moment, I saw Itachi's eyes travel back to me, though. We hadn't talked, of course, so it was only natural that he felt the need to do so. He wanted to talk to me. Then again, knowing him, he was probably going to tell me to ditch Naruto again. Hmph. Never mind, then. I didn't want to look at him for a second more if that was what he wanted. Much less talk to him. I found my arm slipping right through the crevice of Naruto's arm. My brother bristled, and his jaw seemed to clench even harder. I saw his hand curl into a fist. I found this to be amusing, mostly because I knew he wouldn't be able to do anything. Not with family around. He wouldn't dare. I knew that he wouldn't want to wrong in the family's eyes, the sacred jewel that my brother was. Not that I was jealous of him or anything, but that sort of stuff was kind of hard to overlook. Especially when I was the black sheep of the family.

"Anyway!" My mother cut in loudly through all the commotion of the family and of Naruto and my father's animated conversation. And of my and Itachi's obvious distaste for the other at the moment. We all shut our traps at once. My mother smiled at this. She wound her arm through the crevice of my father's arm, just like I was doing. I felt awkward now. I pulled my arm away, yet Naruto grasped at my hand, curling his fingers over the small spaces in between my fingers. I blushed, averting his gaze as he looked down at me. The familiar cooing reached my ears. Oh, god, I wanted to die. My father cleared his throat. Their attention was diverted from where Naruto and I stood to where both my mother and father stood now, partially embracing. Their beautiful smiles shone our way and to the family. My mother spoke once more. "As you all know, today is our forty-third anniversary. Fugaku and I appreciate that you all took the time and effort to come here and celebrate such a beautiful event with us. Thank you for sharing your happiness over our marriage." Her smile was tantalizing. Blinding me. It was no secret that that was one of the many things that my father married her over. I'm sure many things complemented to that of her personality and such. But her smile was breathtaking. I was sure that was what made him stay in love with my mother throughout all these years. Especially when Itachi and I were in the picture of their marriage as well. No doubt about it that that was stressful enough. "Now I assure you that at our age, there is still a lot to be known, despite how wise we both have polished ourselves in the years. There are still many things that are a mystery to this day." She looked at my father now, grinning. He had a small smile on his face, as well as a blush dusting over his cheeks. I could see where I took such an attribute after.

All of us in the living room awaited the speech of my father, whom I knew wasn't all that good with something like that; it was hard enough with a whole crapload of mostly the side of my mother's family waiting for what he had to say. Most of the side of his family couldn't really make it. Traffic and all. Even throughout all those years of being married to my mom, he still hadn't conquered over the fears that was her family. He told me some pretty brutal stories about them, so it was natural that he felt so little compared to all of these people.

There was sweat gathering on his forehead. He wiped at it with impatience, but my mother whispered in his ear gently, and the words she whispered seemed to ease the terror that gathered in his features. God, I felt so connected with him right now. Okay, that was stupid, I know. He was my father. Of course I was going to feel connected with him; I was his son. But I'd never thought that we'd be so alike in so many ways. Especially not now. I never knew that he was the nervous type. He was always so together when he dealt with Itachi or me, but, then again, that didn't count; he lived with us. These people didn't. He took a deep breath, readying himself for what would come when he said his words.

"It truly is a mystery…" He began. He swallowed hard, and looked over at my mother. She urged him to continue, staring at him fondly. He took another deep breath. His voice shook as he spoke again. "But I suppose God throws surprises one's way, right? Miracles, if you will. One might say magic has worked its way over us. Which is exactly the case at the moment, we believe."

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Could he be saying what I thought he was? Was he -

But I didn't even have much time to acknowledge much of the assumed facts because my mother wasn't able enough to contain much of her excitement.

"I'm three months pregnant!" My mother of forty-three squealed. Forty-fucking-three, dammit. Wait. Three months pregnant? That wasn't…

The family exploded in an array of cheers and coos, despite my current state of shock. It almost seemed as though such excitement was held in for so long. It felt like a breath of fresh air. The elephant in the room was out. But I wasn't it. Apparently, my mother was. For three months and more thereafter. At least for another six months or so. What was the world coming to?

I didn't expect it. Naruto didn't expect it. My brother didn't expect it. But my mother and father knew. They had these huge ass grins on their faces as they were bombarded by hugs and kisses and caressing of my mother's belly and shaking hands with my father, congratulating him. Naruto soon went to congratulate them - after getting over the initial shock of it all - dragging me along right beside me, fingers still grasping firmly onto mine. He hugged my mother with so much fervor, and congratulated my dad with the firmest of handshakes I was sure enough would hurt me. Honestly, how was it possible enough that my mother was pregnant? She was forty-three, for crying out loud! Wasn't all that reproductive crap inside of her supposed to be shut down already? And my father? I was sure he told me he got a vasectomy. And since when was it okay for them to have sex in God knows what hours of the day or night? When I was still in the house, I bet. Oh, God, that meant sleepless nights and a hormonal mother with strange cravings. From a forty-three year old woman. A woman on possibly the brink of menopausal episodes. Or worse off than that.

Okay, scratch that. Nothing was worse than having a pregnant mother. Not anymore. This was the absolute worse. I didn't even want to face this. I couldn't. I mean, I know she was my mom and all, but… it wasn't right. It was natural, yes, but only for married couples in their twenties or mid-thirties. Not in their early forties. I couldn't hide my shock as I hugged both my parents, nor could I really find it in me to care that they were so happy of adding another addition to the family. Weren't they thinking of me at all? What would happen to me once the kid came? Would he or she take over my room? Would they sleep in the same room with me? Oh, what about my college fund? Would they dip into that to help take care of the expenses of the new arrival? I didn't want to think about it. Much less be anywhere near my parents. I needed to get away. I needed to think.

I took Naruto by the hand once more. I took my anniversary gift that was abandoned on the counter next to the piles of dirty plates and cups and bottles of beer, and clutched it close to my chest like it was a lifesaver. I took the car keys from where they hung on the key rack. Naruto spluttered behind me, asked me where we were going, that the party wasn't over. And why wasn't I excited like my family was. I said nothing. I only clicked the button for the garage door to open and told him to get in the car. I got in the car. I turned the key in the ignition. I revved the engine. I waited. After a while, he obeyed, confused. He didn't know what else to do besides that. What I ordered of him seemed to be the right choice, though. He'd never seen me acting like this before. And I tried not to show him this neurotic side of me - trust me, I really did - but it was obvious I wasn't going to hide something like this forever. My flaw was visible now for him to see. I wasn't the epitome of perfection as Naruto was. Something I desired to be since the day I met him. But I wasn't ashamed. I don't even think it mattered that he knew this side to me. I had to sort out my feelings. How? I didn't know. I just drove.

And drove I did. I drove till the gas tank was on the brink of emptiness. I drove far. Very far. Probably about an hour away from my house. Maybe even farther, given the substantial amount of miles added into the odometer. Naruto dared not to talk the whole time. Much less ask where we were going, clearly knowing he wouldn't receive much of a direct answer. He actually looked worried. Maybe because I was driving over the speed limit. And I wouldn't let him touch me. Or talk to me. I waved him off every time he tried. I didn't want to be provoked into ramming us off the road, which I knew I wouldn't do, despite the way my life was going. I believe he thought this was all his fault for some reason, though. But it wasn't, it really wasn't. I wanted to assure him of that. I just didn't know how to. Making out words after an hour or so of not talking seemed awkward or forced. I didn't know whether words or actions were necessary at the moment. Either way, I sided with the latter. I clutched onto him and kissed him until I couldn't breathe anymore. He was surprised, but he wasn't about to go against something like this; he kissed me back with twice the fervor I presented him with. His hands wandered over the small space of my back. His fingers skimmed against my exposed skin for a moment. I didn't mind the action at all, much less when he yanked his mouth away from mine to rest his mouth over my neck. It was getting hot in here, wasn't it? Heat waves washed over me like molten lava. Chills ran down my spine. My heart pulsated as his tongue lapped over me, as his teeth nipped, as he sucked. I gasped and moaned softly at the daring action. Really, I don't even know I'm doing it. It just comes out.

So, trust me when I say this, but I'm not about to have sex in my parents' car. Not after what I escaped from. I wasn't about to lose my virginity in here. Especially when we were parked in front of a gas station. That wasn't very classy. And it wasn't like I was about to let myself. I mean, I'm sure Naruto had a pretty good idea of where this was headed; we'd never really talked about it, so it was only natural that he thought actions spoke louder than words. But that really wasn't the case. I just needed a distraction, in order to not think about the thing that was on my mind. About my parents and the less than expected arrival that was soon to come in about six months. I just wanted to kiss him. Just to feel him against my lips, the only real thing I could have to hold in a weak moment like this one. I hoped he understood that. I also hoped he understood that in order for me to lose it with him would require a gigantic ego boost of self-esteem. Oh, and I had to be in love with him, of course. I wasn't about to commit just an act of sexual behavior. Not without conveying deeper into myself about my feelings for Naruto. I liked him, yeah, but I really had to be committed to him to ever pull something like that off. Be in love with him and love him. And I had to know him really well. I wasn't going to do something like this so easy. He knew that. He had to. Regardless of what he was doing.

I pushed against his chest and I shake my head. His eyes were lidded, no doubt about it, as well as blinded by lust. His lips were red. Bright. Like, cherry red kind of red. How eager was I to kiss him after such a long road trip? And then he had that stupid little grin on his face. Oh, yeah, he was definitely thinking about the unthinkable. I slapped his face lightly. Wiped the grin right off his face. He laughed nervously. Sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his head and pulled away from me. He still stared at my lips, though. There was no way he was about to just wipe the thought from kissing me from his mind. But he was not going to think about it. Not let it cloud his mind. At least that's what I really hope that's what he was doing at this moment.

"Sorry." He murmured. I really doubted that. He composed himself once more, taking a deep breath. He looked back at me. Obviously, I wasn't going to want to continue kissing, no matter how much I wanted to. I just really needed to distract myself from what I was trying to escape. I rested my hands on the steering wheel now, smoothing them over the leather.

My mind went back to what I was trying to avoid in the first place. How the hell was it possible that my parents would even think about having another kid? Wasn't I enough? I ate more than a baby did. I slept in more than a baby did. I was lazier than a baby was. Fuck, I cried more than a baby. Why the hell would they take up another challenge in raising a child? Because, yeah, they did a spectacular job with me in basically letting me do whatever the fuck I want. I mean, I'm sure they must have a good reason for allowing not to be bothered by the idea of me dating an older person. Note the sarcasm? Yeah, me neither.

I know that this wasn't planned, much less expected, but I still couldn't help the anger that I was feeling. I was being selfish, I knew that. But wouldn't you freak out too if your forty-three year old mother could suddenly produce more babies? At this age? And then when the kid graduated… Damn, I didn't even want to think about that. I loved my parents, and thinking about them like that was heartbreaking. They were old enough. I didn't need to make them any older in my mind.

"Hey…" Naruto called out to me. I could hear him, but I wouldn't look at him. I had tears in my eyes. I hadn't even known when I started crying. I didn't want him to see me like that. Not again. I'm pretty sure the first time he saw me like that must have made him like me a little less. Just a little. Maybe a lot. He reached out to touch me. But I wouldn't let him. I hated myself. Why was I this way?

"I'm going to go put gas in the car, okay?" I said unsteadily. He said nothing as I got out of the car. No, but he followed right behind me, hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks. His converse shoes smacked against the pavement lightly as he rushed to be by my side. Since when did I walk faster than him? He grabbed my arm about as gently as he could. Not even with that action did I cease in walking into the store. I grasped the door handle of the store door. He yanked me back. Not angrily or violently. Just yanked me back.

"Sasuke, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" He asked me, his hands grasped my arms. My fat arms. Ugh. What a way to make me feel worse. His hand grasps at my chin. I couldn't avoid this, could I? My fat? Unbelievable. "Hey, hey. Look at me." I did. I don't think it helped my problems. His blue eyes pierced right through me. So beautiful. I was overwhelmed by everything. By him. By my life. Seriously, when did it get so hard to live through? Wasn't my life supposed to be easy? Wasn't I supposed to slide right on by and not be noticed? Obviously not. Not now. Not while Naruto was holding my arm in front of a gas station/store. Because things like these wasn't weird enough for people. Guys holding each other. "Why'd you leave out of there so fast? Aren't you happy for your mom and dad?"

I couldn't be. He wouldn't be happy either if he knew what I felt. He didn't know.

"You don't understand, Naruto. My mom's forty-three. Her and my dad… having another kid… it's not right."

This confused him. His brows furrowed together.

"What do you mean 'not right'? It's natural. It happens everyday."

No it didn't. The tears came gushing out now. Oh, God, really? I wrenched myself out of his grip to avoid his gaze, hardly caring of the looks I received from people passing us by. I couldn't help the way I spoke to him. Couldn't help how negatively I felt about this.

"It's not supposed to be that way! They have me! They have Itachi! They aren't supposed to have anymore kids! I'm the last one they should have had!" I sounded like a spoiled brat. But I couldn't stop the flow of words spilling from my lips. I couldn't stop myself from running my mouth. He hung on every word, though, like he understood, or like he couldn't really have anything to say. I didn't blame him.

Although, I know I was overreacting. Yet he seemed to understand either way. No matter what. He said nothing, but that was about the best response I could get from him. I was still crying, by the way. Why? I had no reason to. I was just being selfish. Naruto didn't mind.

"Go back to the car." He told me. "I'll fill up the tank. And I'll drive back. Okay?" Just like that. He didn't ask or anything as to why I was acting in such an odd way.

I did as he asked of me, though, and slipped into the passenger seat. I wiped away at the tears that continued to pour from my eyes. I watched Naruto pay the cashier through the windows of the store. He came out, sprinting towards the gas pump on my side. He pumped gas into the car for about a good minute or so, until finally, it reached its limit. I looked over to the amount. And almost choked on my spit. Forty dollars worth of gas! What the heck was wrong with him? He didn't have to go out in dip that far into his wallet and pay for what I was supposed to pay for! I was about to call him out on it, but he climbed in the driver's seat too quickly, turned the ignition too quickly and practically ripped out of the gas station quite as quickly. Did he even know where we were going? Unless he had a photographic memory or something? Because he really seemed to know his way around here. Especially at night.

Now, the drive back was just as awkward as the drive from before. It's not like Naruto wouldn't speak to me or that I wouldn't speak to him or anything like that. It was just very, very awkward. I mean, other than the fact that he would reach over and grab my hand, and then at the stoplights he'd give me little pecks on the lips, which was sweet, but also quite unnecessary. To me. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better and stuff. Or get it off my mind. It helped, yeah, but only to an extent. I was still feeling pretty angry about my parents. And I was also a little irked at the idea of Naruto paying forty dollars to put in gas. Regardless of the fact that he was my boyfriend and my parents liked him and all, I was at fault for wasting gas for absolutely no reason at all and so, therefore, it was my responsibility to look after my own problems and mistakes. He didn't have to look after me. But he insisted. Like he was my dad. Or Itachi.

Itachi. I wondered how he felt about all this. About me and Naruto. Obvious, wouldn't you think? I wondered what he thought of Mom and Dad and the new kid. I doubted that it mattered to him; it wasn't like he lived there. He only visited every now and then. It didn't affect him. It wasn't even supposed to. But, still, I wondered if we shared the same selfish thoughts of the unborn kid. Or about how Mom and Dad kept this a secret for three months before letting anyone know? Especially us? Weren't we their kids? Weren't we supposed to know everything before everyone else? They'll probably come up with some lame excuse, the same lame excuse parents always ended up telling their kids: 'It was for your own good'. How the hell was us not knowing a goddamn thing about my mom being pregnant for our own good? It was anything but good! They kept it a secret from us! Pretty bad parenting, if you asked me. Okay, so I didn't know exactly what good or bad parenting was - namely because I didn't have any children yet, thank God - but I knew that keeping a secret among others, better yet, children, was not good. To what extent did they think they could keep the charade going along? Eventually, we would find out. We weren't that easy to fool. Or so I thought. The signs were there, right? Usually they are. The first months are always so obvious… why couldn't I see it? Since when did I become less than observant? I was the most observant person I knew! Not now anymore, if all this was coming as a surprise to me.

Before I knew it, an hour or so had gone by while I moped about the fact about how I lost my touch at observing everything around me properly. From the looks of it, it seemed as though it was late. Probably midnight. Not many cars were out on the road all that much anymore. Not even at my house. It seems as though everyone left. Save for a few cars. One of them being my grandma's and Itachi's. I questioned myself whether they were wondering where I was. I mean, I know they knew, but I would have thought they'd call, at some point. My mom hadn't even called. Did she even care that I was out with my boyfriend? Didn't she know the many dangers of hanging out with a boyfriend? Of what could happen? Not that I'd ever do it, but a mother had to take some precautions. Especially when it involved her gay son. And her boyfriend. And a certain one month anniversary that we completed. A celebration was bound to commence. Not with me! In my mother's mind, I meant. Shouldn't it all have connected in some way? I guess it didn't since she hasn't called me. She always called. I could sense more than change was coming my way.

As we pulled into the driveway and into the garage, I didn't feel right. I wanted to leave again. After my hasty departure, I felt like a douche. Like I didn't really belong. Or like I was ever really wanted. I felt really bad. And I felt even worse now that Naruto knew the way I was. Even by a little. He must have been disgusted. Honestly. Who would like someone that was selfish?

But he didn't run away or grow disgusted by my appearance or leave suddenly from my side. He stayed in the car with me. Waiting. Waiting until I recuperated enough courage. I stayed put in the passenger side and stared off to the side, wondering what was to come when I came in the house. Or what I was to face in the future months. It was so much stress. And the worst part of it all was that Naruto was going to experience it with me. Oh, why did God hate me so?

"This doesn't really make your top list of anniversary presents, does it?" I asked nervously, looking over at him. He was staring at me. He had this lopsided smile curling over his lips. What exactly was he thinking that made him smile like that? I hope it wasn't anything dirty.

"Not really, but it beats everything else." He replied. That lopsided smile grew. Was he insulting me? He must have sensed my confusion. "That was a compliment, Sasuke." Really? I didn't think so. He sensed that. Oh, right, it wasn't a matter of sensing, but a matter of overreacting to such news of my mother on my part. Why would he compliment me on something I made a huge crap deal about? This wasn't a good anniversary present. He had to have hit his head somewhere for him to think that. "Besides, I haven't had all that many anniversaries to compare this one to. But, by far, this one's the best."

He was dropped at birth, I bet. But, I guess. Whatever floated his boat and shit. Man, I just couldn't get over how nice he was. Was he real? I shook my head, suddenly laughing, as if letting out the first breath of a real laugh of the night since he came over.

"You're crazy."

Naruto snickered, dropping his head forward, shaking it. He looked back up at me, that same lopsided smile forming into a cocky grin of some sorts.

"You say that a lot to me." He pointed out. I shrugged and looked away. That grin of his was contagious.

"Well, because you are." I argued quietly.

"Really now? How is that so?"

Once more, I shrugged.

"I don't know. You just are. No plausible argument available."

"So… You're just stating the fact that I'm certifiably insane. Blindly. With no reason at all?"

"Basically, yeah."

He thought about this for a moment before ultimately deciding what to respond that with. Until finally…

"I object."

I cracked up at his very words. To this, he grinned. He told me once about a couple of days ago that he loved hearing me laugh. It made him smile, he confessed. No lie. This made the whole atmosphere of the awkwardness that was with us inside the car ooze away. For a couple of minutes, we laughed. Or, more likely, I did. Maybe because I didn't want to go inside the house just yet. Naruto did. I think. For now, he stuck with me. Eventually, he got out of the car. And forced me out, too. He was about to head back into the house, but I stayed behind, shuffling my feet nervously against the pavement of the garage floor. He looked back over at me. His expression faltered for the briefest of moments. He walked back over to me, leaning against the hood of the car, crossing his arms over his chest in a stern-like manner. He was about to get serious with me now. I looked away. Damn. Just the exact thing I was hoping to avoid.

"Why aren't you happy for your parents?" He questioned me. I couldn't find it in me to look at him, or to confront the question. I started to walk away. Naruto clutched my arm. "Sasuke. Come on. It helps to talk about it." Yeah, it was easy for him to say, but was it ever really easy to do? I started walking again, but he had a tight grip on me. He was pretty strong. I never realized. He yanked me back towards him. I did the mistake of looking into his eyes as I usually did, and, this time, I couldn't force myself to look away, no matter how hard I tried. His blue eyes seemed to look deep in my soul. "Please."

Oh, how could I go against Naruto when he begged? He made me feel guilty. He released my arm once he noticed that he had one this one. For now. I leaned against the hood of the car with him, careful as to not sit on it completely; I didn't want to pop a tire. He looked over at me. Waiting. How was I going to explain it carefully? Without sounding like the total selfish douche I had sounded like at the gas station? Either way, I think it would have sounded just as bad, no matter which way I was to approach it. Selfish douche it was once more, I supposed.

"I just don't want my parents to have kids anymore. It's just… it's weird." I heard myself saying. I shrugged, as if doing so would erase the words from memory, but it didn't. The words hung in the air like a disease. I wished I could take them back. I found myself spilling out more words. "We don't even have anymore rooms left. Well, we do, but that's Dad's office; he needs that. Where is there going to be enough room for another kid? And the money. My Dad's going to have to work double shifts - probably take some money out of my college fund to make ends meet. It's hard enough that Mom's going to have to carry that kid inside of her for six more months; I can only imagine the amount of pain she's in right now. She's old, Naruto. Maybe she's past the point of old, and, well, it's not… right…" I know it sounds bad - I'm talking about my mother as if she were the oldest woman alive - but it was the way I felt. I wasn't about to go faking my way through and saying that my Mom's of perfect age to be popping out more kids. Did she even remember how to change a diaper? Or of the painful deliverance that was soon to follow when the time came? I don't think she was ready. At least, not anymore than I wasn't. Not that I was delivering the kid or anything, but I've never had to worry about things like these. Oh, my God, just thinking about it got me shaking. I don't know why. I mean, it wasn't like I was -

"Scared. You're scared, Sasuke; that's why this is such a big deal for you." Naruto told me. I stared at him in confusion. And denial, I bet it was. I wasn't. I just… I didn't want my mother to be giving birth at such a late age. The baby was bound to hurt her. I wasn't, as he said, scared. She had enough problems, but I didn't want this one to be the main burden she rested upon her shoulders. I wasn't scared, I insisted on telling myself. However, the more I thought about it, the more - you guessed it - scared I got. Naruto reassured my mother would be fine by embracing me. Tightly. "She'll be fine, Sasuke. She's strong. As a matter of fact, I think you have it better than other kids. Trust me. I don't think you'd like to have a seventy-some year old mother raising you in your teenage years. At least your brother or sister's safe from that sort of thing. They'll have a normal lifestyle. You'll be there through it all, right?" I nodded numbly. But I didn't think I would be the best person to raise my brother or sister into adulthood. Much less childhood. Have you seen me? I was the failed experiment. My brother was perfect for that. He didn't live here, though, so that plan was shot out the window. "You've got nothing to worry about. She'll be fine. You'll be fine. Everyone's going to be fine. Don't worry about it anymore."

I tried to. Even when he started grinning at me like some sort of maniac. But then he reached into the car and took out my anniversary gift. I'd forgotten I'd taken it. I suppose he thought it would make me feel better if I opened it. Just maybe. He pushed the gift into my hands. It felt heavy. Sort of. I kind of didn't really want to open it. What if it was something expensive and breakable? Knowing me, I would break it as soon as I'd open it. Still, he grinned, as if telling me to open it. Now I'm going to be honest here, he didn't have to get me anything; I was just as happy when he was here with me. Corny, but he said the same thing. So what I didn't understand is why he would get me a gift in the first place. I mean, the whole anniversary thing, yeah, but I still didn't understand that. It was my first one, after all. And I never told him I wanted anything specific. Or anything small and heavy. And the wrapping and ribbon. I didn't want to ruin it.

However, with the way Naruto was staring at me, urging me to open his gift, I doubted I would get a chance to salvage them. Either way, I unfolded the corners of the wrapper carefully and slipped the ribbon right out of the box with the same care. He was getting anxious. He was practically on the brink of tearing the paper himself. Once I got it all off, there was a white box now left in my care. I cut through the tape with one blunt fingernail with the least of difficulties. I peeked inside. What in the…? It was a Gameboy Color. First edition. With extra batteries. And a light whenever I wanted to play in the dark. Along with a bunch of the best and first games ever invented. About ten or so of them. I stared at Naruto in awe. He still had that stupid grin on his face. He was… He was the best. I'd only talked about this once. I'd talked about how much I missed the good old days. When Gameboys were the big thing and cell phones and internet wasn't. Gameboys were in. I was a sucker for the retro stuff, I told him, and that I really missed playing with those. I missed all the old video games - the ones that didn't have violence and when the graphics were simple and not so showy. But I told him all this about two weeks ago. I couldn't believe that he remembered. That he took the time to look for something I'd mentioned missing about once. He smiled now as I studied the beauty of this old school device. As I tested it out - perfect condition, by the way - and felt the smoothness and awed over the color of the device - red, my favorite color; he remembered that, too? - and of the buttons and the flawless screen. It was amazing. I'd never had someone give me something as cool as this. Not even my family. And they gave me pretty awesome stuff. But this? This was just… over the top brilliant. I felt my heart give out to him. I threw myself at him - thank God he had a steady balance and awesome reflexes - and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him all over his chin and face. He was too much. He was amazing. He was a good boyfriend. A good kisser. He was perfect. He remembered miniscule details about me and about what I said from two weeks ago. Could he be any better?

"Wait, wait, wait, there's still more." He laughed against my lips, arms curling over my forearms, peeling me from him hesitantly. More? How could there be more? This was enough. He reached into my gift, yanking out the Gameboy and games and batteries and the light, digging deeper into the box. What else could he have gotten me? Not that I wanted anything else. Oh, God, why? My cheeks surfaced with heat. I didn't like to be given things; I don't know why.

"Naruto, no, no, no, this is good. I love this. Whatever else you got me, please return it. This is too much."

But he yanked out tickets from the box, presenting them to me. Two of them. He pecked me on the lips briefly before I got even so much as a second look as to what they were for, or what event that Naruto would take me to. He looked at them before ultimately deciding to grin like a moron yet again. I couldn't help but smile too. Bashfully. Why couldn't he have just forgotten it was our one month anniversary? Why wasn't he like all other boys, who didn't give a shit about stuff like this?

He pressed the tickets onto my palm, the title of the event face up. I looked down at them. The circus. Yeah, you may be thinking, so what? It's just a circus. A dirty, smelly circus. Oh, no, this wasn't just any circus. No, this was the circus of the century. A French-Canadian circus. With acrobats and fire breathers and all around crazy shit. You catching my drift? Oh, yeah, this circus was shit expensive. And fancy. Cirque du Soleil. No joke. My boyfriend had the time and money to buy stuff like this. For someone like me. Who he hadn't even had the pleasure of knowing for more than a month or so. He had to get the time to know me before he went out and bought expensive tickets like these. He was crazy. Look at all the stuff he had done for me, and at the stuff he got me. Where did he get the money from to afford any of this anyway? That was what bothered me most of all. What kind of job did he have?

"Okay, I know what you're thinking, Sasuke. I'm crazy, I know." He held his palms up as I shook my head at him, trying to get him to take back the tickets. "No, I'm not taking them back. They're your anniversary present. They're for you. And a friend if you don't want me to go." He expected me to use them on someone else, instead of him? He must have had shit for brains if he thought I wasn't about to use the ticket on him! He bought them for us, right? So it was only natural and right that we went together. But I seriously wondered where the hell he got all this money from. I was about to ask him to take it all back, to go put the money he spent on me to good use. Like on buying a suit or new shoes or something useful. But the look on his face insisted against it. So, I did the alternative.

"…Thank you." I said, bowing my head in embarrassment as he stared me down, almost as though he just caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. I stared down at the tickets and looked back up at him, red-faced, handing him one. He stared at it in mock surprise. I snorted, rolling my eyes. "I want you to go with me. After all, you spent all this money, I think it's best if you do go. You are my boyfriend, after all…"

He laughed, took the ticket and stuffed it in his pocket, then tipped my chin up so our lips met briefly. Merely a soft touch. No more. Despite that he lingered for more than a second.

"Damn right I am." He kissed me deeply now. Then he rested his forehead upon mine and looked deeply into my eyes. "Happy one month anniversary."

I smiled, closing my eyes, eyelashes brushing against his cheek.

"Happy one month anniversary."

And I was never happier.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Maa, I know, corny as hell. Lmao. But, eh, corn is good. :) Okay, now this is where it might change. At least, this is the climax. Not really, but it's part of it. :o Anyway, I hope some of you guys are still sticking through with this story; I didn't get many reviews. :/ But I did get anonymous reviews - constructive criticism, helpful, thank you - so I'm going to reply to them. Hopefully, they're still reading this story enough to read my response.

To anonymous reviewer, **Coral**:

I know. My story is pretty odd, but I actually researched about hot people and their preference to fat people, whether they were attracted to them or not. So far, it's a win-win. And some people actually have seen it happen before their eyes. I have too, now that I think about it. A chubby girl and this really hot black guy. Cute couple.

So, yeah, I understand your confusion about my story. :) Thank you, though, for what you hoped was constructive criticism - it was, but I think it was just a matter of pointing out, I believe - and for taking the time to review. I appreciate that.

To anonymous reviewer, :

Well, let me point out - not to diss you, dear - had you read any more of this story and stuck through with it, you would see that it wasn't about feeling good about being fat. It was building up to a point. I'm sorry that you didn't stick through with it, though; thank you for reviewing nonetheless about your feelings of this story. :)

Anyway, hopefully my faithful readers review this time. :D

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	9. Walls

**A/N:** Chapter up! Finally! :D Inspiration came to me, well, while I was on a date. ^_^ Apparently I have a social life now! Haha. However, there will be nothing happy about this chapter. I didn't want it to be like this. D: I want to apologize beforehand. :/

I would say, 'Enjoy!', but I hardly think that'll be what you all will be doing. Enjoying... pfft.

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>For the next couple of weeks, my life started going downhill. My mom was a nightmare. I'd never known such a volatile side of her. I was afraid. Dad and Itachi wouldn't even go near her. They were just as afraid as I was. And mostly because she wouldn't let them. She preferred her youngest son. Lucky me, huh? Not really. She sent me out on nightly errands to go get her food when I was already in bed. When I came back with her food, she didn't even want it anymore. Sometimes she insisted I hadn't heard her correctly because she asked for a completely different food when I brought her the one she asked in the first place. And then her moods were always changing. Which caused my moods to change as well. And also caused me to lash out at Naruto at times when he came over or called. And sometimes I cussed him out. And hung up on him in phone calls. I felt terrible. I was always tired. I was stressed. I was losing my appetite most of the time because my mother had the weirdest of food behaviors nowadays, and she threw up later some of the times. The smell was so nauseating I found myself having the strangest distaste for food.<p>

Naruto called me one time to go out. But I was having the worst of days and my mom was yelling orders at me and complaining about the smallest of things; I was at my wit's end. I hung up on him. The worst part of it? He was asking me to go to the Cirque du Soleil showing. I missed it. I didn't realize it by the end of the day. I called him back to apologize. He accepted it. And then I apologized some more. He said he understood, that it was no big deal. That made me feel bad. Of course it was a big deal; he paid good money for those tickets! And I had ruined it.

To sum it all up, my whole relationship with Naruto was strained because of the stress at home. I doubted that in these months that my mom was pregnant would our relationship survive. But I had to stay strong. I had to keep my faith and not doubt about the severe damage that Naruto and my relationship was currently undergoing.

On the other hand, though, the relationship between my family was getting better. Even with Itachi. We helped each other as much as we could throughout my mother's hard times. They were always there when I failed my mother. They were the next ones to get their heads ripped off. They were the ones who were by my side as my mother criticized her reflection in the mirror. We all reassured her that she wasn't fat. At least she wasn't the biggest one in the family. Not even now. She still had her figure. At least people could wrap their arms around her to hug her. Some people could barely do just that with me. It was embarrassing.

None of us had any time to rest with her screaming at us. Or ordering us. Or begging us. All with her premature mood swings. Honestly. My mother was a different person when she was pregnant. I wondered if she was like this when she was pregnant with Itachi and I. Was she worse off than this? I bet so, judging by the many helpless looks my father gave me. Only once did we ever have a moments' peace at home, and that was when Mom knocked out for a good amount of hours. She had had a huge meal before, then puked it out - regrettably, it was homemade; I made it, so that really hurt - and just conked out. Itachi had gone back home, so it was just me and Dad in the living room. It was already close to midnight. We hadn't ate or anything. We didn't have enough energy to work something up of an appetite. So, as we lay in the comforting sofas and basked in the glory of a peaceful home, my phone buzzed. I groaned out loud. My father looked over at me. I had a text message. From Naruto, no doubt. He'd been texting me a lot nowadays. It wasn't like I welcomed it, it's just that I was so tired. I couldn't find the heart to tell him to fuck off as gently as possible. He always seemed so happy to text me. With the exuberant texts he always sent me. I merely took my time with texting him. About fifteen minutes or so between texts. Eventually, he'd get the hint and bid me goodnight. With a smiley face, of course. No biggie for him, but I still felt like a douche for doing it purposely. I clicked my phone open and read his text.

_Hey, how's your mom?_

My fingers clicked over the phone keys so quickly and loudly in our once quiet house to type up my response to him that I was afraid I'd pop them off. But I just wanted to get it over with, dammit. I was so tired.

_She's fine. Just knocked out a couple of minutes ago. I'm so sorry I haven't texted you in a while. It's been hectic around here._

I suddenly felt self-conscious. Like someone was watching me. My dad, maybe? I looked over at my dad, and, sure enough, he was looking at me. He looked haggard; there were bags under his eyes and his eyes drooped a lot more than usual. His skin didn't look the same either. He was in bad shape. This is exactly what I feared. But the smile on his lips told a completely different story. Actually, it was more like a grin. It was terrifying to see my father smiling like that. I'd never seen such a look on him. What the hell was going on? Why the hell was he smiling at me like that? What did he know? It made me uneasy. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks. I turned away from him.

"What?" I murmured, trying to look anywhere else but at him. At the television. At the light. At that spot on the wall. At the ceiling. At my phone. Anywhere. Nowhere helped, though.

He chuckled. That didn't help either. The heat burned onto my cheeks like lava.

"That was Naruto, wasn't it?" I nodded hesitantly, unsure of where this relationship was going. I refused to look at him. Was he going to call me out on him? Did he know he was older than me? Panic rose in my chest. "He's a nice kid. How is he? Haven't seen him around here all that often."

Dad wanted to know about him? Oh, God, no, now that was even worse. He wanted to know about my personal life. I wasn't about to divulge too deep into that. I had to be careful with my words. Make it simple, short and sweet.

"He's fine. I haven't really had the time to see him all that much, what with Mom and her condition." That was anything but simple, short and sweet. Unbelievable, Sasuke, you're the worst!

My phone buzzed again. I clicked my phone open all too eagerly for Naruto's response. I was very uncomfortable talking about Naruto because that meant I had to talk about me. And him. Eventually about how we met. That was some place I was hoping to avoid. I'm pretty sure my parents would have liked to know about that. They wouldn't really appreciate the fact that my first boyfriend practically attacked me on the night we met. That was bound to be a touchy subject.

_That's good. She needs the rest. Lots of it. And, hey, no problem. I understand completely. You're tired. I know how overwhelming the stress can be. If you want, I'll text you tomorrow, huh? So you can get some rest?_

Wasn't he so understanding? But I couldn't just blow him off, despite that he was giving me permission to knock out. And I was so friggin' tired. Still, I had to stay awake for him this time. I had to text him longer. At least for him. I hadn't given him enough time in the day.

_No, it's okay. I'll live. Talk to me. It'll keep me awake._

My dad must have noticed how hard I was really trying to keep this relationship alive, of how much I was struggling to keep his interest, despite how tired I was because he suddenly got up to sit on the sofa next to me, with a suddenly serious look in his eyes. I stared at him tiredly. He pushed my hair away from my eyes. For some reason, his eyes seemed to pierce right through my soul and look deeper than deep. I looked away, unable to hide the constricting pain that molded over my face.

"You miss him, don't you, son?" He asked me quietly. I managed to nod weakly. He sighed. "Well, it's your birthday next week, isn't it?" Was it? What was today…? The fourteenth. Nine more days till my birthday. Oh, my gosh, I almost forgot about it. I was finally going to be eighteen after so many years of waiting. Wow. The time passed by quickly. My father pushed my hair back away from falling over my eyes once more. "Your mother and I were planning a party for you, but, seeing as she is in no fitting mood and you haven't seen Naruto since our anniversary, well, we thought you could spend your birthday with him. I don't approve much of it since he's your first boyfriend and I know how boys get - you are still a boy; there is no doubt in my mind that you have thought about doing that with Naruto for a while now - but your mother insisted. She considers it a break from her. Of course she started crying after she said that, started saying how much of a burden she was on us, and how she didn't mean to -"

"The point, Dad." I murmured tiredly, blushing as to what he said about boys being boys. He knew me too well. Was he like that at some point? Okay, ew, never mind. I didn't want to think about that.

"The point, yeah, um… what was my point? Oh, yes! Well, since you'll be turning the big one-eight, your mother and I thought we should hand you more freedom. At least for one day - your birthday - we know how you don't like us to make a big deal about it. We won't. At least not that much. So, I'm taking her out to a spa that way she can be relaxed when you come home, which I hope is early." He raised his eyebrows at me, emphasizing deeply on the word 'early'. I blushed harder. I busied myself with my phone once more, just to avoid the look he was giving me.

"I don't even think I'll be hanging out with him on my birthday, Dad. He's probably going to be busy with work and stuff…" I hoped he wasn't. I mean, if my parents were giving me permission to hang out with him - on my birthday, no less! - I wasn't about to turn the invitation down. They trusted me enough to be alone with him and not try anything too stupid. Or something along the lines of that, depending on how my dad felt about it.

"Well, tell him to get a day off; it's going to be your birthday after all. Oh, and he's got to pay for everything else. It's going to be your birthday, so there's no other way in avoiding it."

"Dad! That's so rude…!" My cheeks were overheating thanks to him. And he only insisted on doing it.

"It's obvious, Sasuke. It's not going to be his birthday, so he might as well pay for you." I'm not sure if that's all that he was insinuating, but, either way, it made me turn about fifty more darker shades of red. I only got redder as my phone buzzed again. Naruto. My father laughed. "Tell him. Tell him, tell him, tell him!"

I sought to escape from him. Into my sanctuary. My room. I slammed the door shut. Dad was still laughing as I escaped from his clutches. I could hear Mom snort in her sleep at the sound; I really hoped she didn't wake up. I turned off the lights just in case she might have woken up. Not that my sleeping was going to be a problem for her; she'd wake me up no matter what. Still, it was a habit. I walked through my room blindly, using my cell phone as my guiding light. I made it to my bed with little tripping and flopped down on it. Of course, I laid on something. It jabbed me in the back painfully. I groaned and yanked it out from underneath me with great difficulty, then adjusted myself comfortably into my bed. I clicked my phone open and read off Naruto's text.

_Are you sure? I mean, I get it if you're really tired. I don't want to force you into conversation…_

Did he honestly think he was forcing me into conversation? Not even. If anything, I was the one forcing myself into having a conversation with him once, without falling asleep. I was trying to be a good person for him. I was going to try and stay awake and force my fingers to text with him. I was going to fight against my tired state and not bitch about it to him for once. Because that's all I did with him throughout these past few weeks. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Nag, nag, nag. Moan, moan, moan. It wasn't sexy. But, even if it was, surely it wouldn't be at all coming from me. Especially not with Naruto. Oh, I felt bad for him. I wasn't being anywhere near a good boyfriend. I was the worst of the worst. Which was my main reason as to why I had to stay awake, to prove him otherwise. He understood that I was tired, but I also wanted him to understand and notice that I'm also trying really hard to keep myself awake for his sake.

_You're not forcing me into conversation. I want to talk to you. I miss you._

I really did. It felt like a complete eternity since I last talked to him. And I felt like such a douche for making him feel the way he felt. Like he was doubting me and our relationship. He had every right to - I wasn't going to go against him there - he was the one who texted me almost everyday, when I'm not short with him. He was the one who called me to go out, when I didn't cuss him out or hang up on him. I don't know what was happening to me that made me the way I was with him. Well, yeah, obviously my mother, but that wasn't just it. I was easily irritable all the goddamn time. I hadn't felt like this since freshman year when those guys bullied me. I wasn't supposed to feel that way with Naruto. I was supposed to be the perfect idea of a boyfriend - albeit my weight and outlook and image on life wasn't - but that was the way it was supposed to be, right? What I was supposed to live up to? What Naruto expected? What did Naruto expect from me, anyway?

My phone suddenly rang, startling me. This wasn't a message. Someone was calling me. I expected it to be Naruto - he was the only one who knew I was awake, right? - but it wasn't. Sakura's name flashed on the screen, blinding my weak sight in the darkness. My eyebrows furrowed together. Why was she calling me? And at this time? Was she okay? I wasted no time in thinking about it for a second more. I clicked my phone open.

"Hello?"

"Sasuke, hey, you're awake." It sounded so strange to hear her voice. I felt like I was talking to a stranger now. She sounded different. Like her voice had matured severely over the summer. Not like a manly kind of maturing, but you get my point; she sounded way different. "I thought you were asleep or something…"

"No, I'm wide awake. How are you? How have you been?" These questions only seemed to be the natural and most normal ones to ask her since we hadn't talked in so long. Not even on Facebook. "Are you okay?"

She laughed.

"No, yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I just… I just needed to hear your voice. I felt like talking to you. I hope it's not weird that I'm calling you this late." She sounded unsure of whether or not she should have called. I sounded a little surprised.

"Not at all. I missed you. What's up?"

There was a brief moment of silence, then rustling. And a click. Sakura cleared her throat.

Uh-oh, that sign of her clearing her throat. That meant something. It wasn't just a clearing of the throat. Something was going on. My heart beat against my throat, the sound of it pulsing against my ears. I sat up in my bed, suddenly clutching my cell phone with both hands, deeply interested in what she had to say to me. There was a reason she was calling. She knew something. What if she knew about…? Oh, shit.

My heart could have stopped right then and there. There was no way she knew about Naruto and I, right? We were being really quiet about it, weren't we? Unless… oh, my gosh, her parents. Her parents knew about us. What if they let it slip? And she was calling to establish some ground? Or break us up? Or… something! I don't know what my best friend was capable of! Was she even my best friend anymore? Its been so long since we last talked or laughed about the good times. Okay, okay, Sasuke, relax; maybe she doesn't even know. Maybe she really is calling just to hear my voice. People did that all the time, right? Called randomly to hear a friend's voice? Yeah. Yeah, they did. I had nothing to worry about. Still, though, as my phone beeped - I had a message, no doubt from Naruto - I couldn't help the uncertainty in my mind. I readied myself for what she had to say.

"Um, nothing, really. I've just been working a lot these past few days. Deciding what college to go to and stuff. It has been really stressful around here. What about you?"

She knew! Oh, man, I was so screwed! Okay, again, Sasuke, chill, chill. She doesn't know. She's just asking how you are. She's not asking if you're going out with her brother. Keep calm. Don't squeak. Steady voice. Steady hands. Don't sweat. Don't panic. Fine. Everything was going to be fine. Everything had to be fine. She didn't know, right? No, dammit, Sasuke, stop thinking about that; don't even worry about that! Just… chill. Relax. Just give her an answer. That's all she wants from you. And, go.

"Uh, same, actually. About the stress, anyway. My mom's pregnant. I'm sure you heard, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I did. My parents called me as soon as your mom announced it. Congratulate her and your dad for me." There was a brief moment of silence. I really hope she didn't know. I shut my eyes, bracing myself. The silence seemed to stretch on even longer. But she spoke once more. Eventually. "How do you feel about it, though? I heard you took it pretty hard…" Is that why she called? Because she was worried about how I took the news? Oh, Sakura, thank God.

I laughed loudly. Was it obvious that I was nervous? I cleared my throat.

"I did. But, uh, eventually I got used to the idea…"

"I know how you must feel, though. Or, well, at least I think I have an idea of how you feel. Were you angry?"

How the hell did she know? What was going on? Did she know something about me and Naruto or what? I was getting suspicious.

"…A little. Why?" She was acting kind of strange. Calling me in the middle of the night and asking whether or not I was angry about my parents having a kid? That was odd. Sakura was not the type of girl one would call odd. Maybe she was a little drunk. "Are you okay?"

She wasted no time in answering the question. Too quick. I swear I heard her breath hitch for a second there. Maybe it was my imagination or something. Maybe it wasn't, though. She was acting really strange.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just… I was concerned. My parents were telling me you tore out of there pretty fast. You didn't come back for the rest of the night." She totally knew. No doubt about it. I was panicking now. What the hell was she going to say next? What was I going to say to what she was accusing me of? Should I accept it, or deny it? Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man… "Um, anyway, yeah, I just wanted to call you for that. And to hear your voice; it's been so long. But, hey, I actually have to go. Parents are calling me." I didn't hear anything. What was going on with her? She cleared her throat again. She had something to say; there had to be no way she would avoid saying it. "Hopefully we hang out later on in the week? Your birthday's coming up." She wasn't going to say it…

"Yeah, sure. Soon."

"All right, well… call me sometime." She sounded really weird. Like she was trying really hard to get those words out. Still, I tried not to notice.

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

And she hung up. Just like that. We didn't the whole 'You hang up first' 'No, you hang up first' thing that we always did. By the time I hung up, I realized I had been holding my breath for a while. And my heart was still racing like crazy. I was shaking. My hands were sweaty. I was sweating. I'd never been so scared in my life before. Or confused. I felt played, for some reason. What was the main reason as to why Sakura called me? She didn't just call me to congratulate my parents. Or to hear my voice. She obviously knew something. About Naruto and I. It was clear. But I refused to believe that she knew anything about it. I didn't want to touch the subject at all. But it came back at me. My phone beeped in reminder to Naruto's message. I clicked it open, the brightness blinding me once more.

_I miss you too. I want to see you. Do you know if you're free tomorrow?_

I would have been happy for the distraction of him asking me what I was doing tomorrow, but I really couldn't stop thinking about what Sakura called me for. Absolutely nothing. I was still panicking. It was the strangest call of calls I'd ever received. I disregarded Naruto's question and asked one of my own instead.

_Does Sakura know about us? Did your parents tell her?_

It was rude to overthrow Naruto's question with two questions, I know, but I was having a really hard time controlling my heartbeat right now. All I needed was some answers. Some clear, quick answers. I really hoped he texted back quickly. And it seemed forever since he responded. I'd laid in my bed in the darkness, waiting, until his text buzzed on my phone. I was actually dozing off, so to say it scared me would have been an understatement. I jumped at the vibration against my stomach and ended up falling off the bed. My mom's snore cut off for a moment, then resumed as I rose from the floor quietly. I grabbed my phone from my bed and clicked it open, reading off his text with a sudden hunger.

_No. My parents swore to secrecy, remember? What would make you say that?_

That didn't help anything. What if his parents let it slip? Accidentally? Things like that happened. I had to talk to him. Like, pronto.

_Call me now, please._

It didn't even seem like a minute or so after my text message was sent to him, but he called me right then and there. I clicked my phone open and answered.

"Okay, what happened?" He questioned softly.

I sighed and swallowed, in order to calm my racing heart. I climbed back into my bed and sat Indian-style.

"Sakura called. She was acting really weird. She'd never acted that way before, and I was just wondering whether or not your parents told her about us. This is the first time in the month that she's called me." The more I talked about it, the more my tongue felt like jelly and my heart raced and palms sweat. I wiped them against my shorts. I was such a mess. I didn't know what my best friend was going to say if she knew about us. What about Naruto? Was he as scared as I was?

"I swear, Sasuke, my parents didn't tell her a thing. They've kept their lips sealed. We begged them."

That was hard to believe. I don't think we begged them hard enough.

"Are you sure? Does Sakura know any of your friends? Maybe one of them told her?"

I don't think that was the right thing to say.

"Now you're blaming my friends?"

It really wasn't the right thing to say.

"No, I'm just saying that maybe they let it slip? It happens. I'm not blaming your friends. I was just wondering…"

I could hear him sigh over the phone, suddenly exasperated, as he pondered over this. It happened everyday, right? Friends spilling the beans about something that was supposed to be a secret? I did it once. I didn't mean to; it just slipped. See? Just like that. It slipped. Very often. Even from the people we're supposed to trust the most. Not that I didn't trust them. I just didn't think it was believable enough for them to keep a secret. Trust and keeping a secret were two completely different things. I didn't think people were capable of doing both.

"No, Sasuke, no one knows. I mean, yeah, I might have told a couple of friends and they may have told their friends, but none of them know Sakura or are friends with anybody who knows her. No one really knows about us. We're in the clear." I heard him scoff. "Why does it matter to you whether she knows or not? If she finds out, then that's friggin' awesome - I can talk about you all I want to her now." No, it wasn't 'friggin' awesome' as he so graciously described. It scared the hell out of me. Why wasn't he scared? Hadn't he ever wondered what would happen if he happened to date his sister's best friend? Honestly. Anyone would be freaking out and obsessing over it like I was. I don't know why Naruto chose not to understand that. "She loves you, Sasuke, so why should it change her opinion of you if we're dating? If anything, I think she'll be happy."

"Naruto, you've obviously never dated anyone who was your best friend's brother, have you? Or anyone even remotely close?" There was silence on the other line. I was acting terrible, I knew that. But I couldn't stop the words. They just kept coming out. I really hoped he didn't hate me. "I'm afraid, Naruto. I'm afraid that when she finds out about us, she'll hate me. She'll hate me because we kept it a secret for so long - we're going on two months, Naruto, two months! - she'll hate me even more because I didn't tell her about how we met. Or where we met. She'll despise me for not telling her anything about my first relationship. Didn't you ever think about that? Aren't you scared, Naruto?"

No doubt about it that he was. He was oddly quiet on the other line. I wondered whether or not he ever thought about all those things as I constantly did. I never thought it would affect me as much, but I couldn't help it. This was my first relationship with a boy that was her half-brother. As if that wasn't disturbing enough. There were many things I was afraid of, but Sakura was one of them. Whenever she got angry, she was uncontrollable. And unpredictable. No one knew how to calm her or when she was going to strike. Though, whenever she did strike, it was at the worst of times. I didn't want to provoke her.

"Sasuke, I am scared too. She doesn't even know I'm gay, for your information." She didn't know he was gay? Okay, this was getting worse and worse by the minute. Panic rose in my chest once more. I could suddenly hear myself hyperventilating. "But she's my little sister, and, like I said, she loves you. And she loves me. And if she doesn't accept it - accept us - then, whatever, she doesn't accept it. Eventually, she will have to. If she's a true friend to you, she'll accept what we have. She'll never hate you. If anything, she'll hate me." That wasn't at all true. Family would never hate on family; they stuck together through the hard times. Helped them push through it. They accepted them more than anyone else out in the world.

Now, friends, on the other hand, acceptance and understanding didn't come as easily. Just maybe if you were really special. Like a best friend or something. Which I didn't really qualify for anymore; Sakura and I just weren't all that close. Maybe I was the only one who thought that, but I knew I didn't feel all that close with her anymore. Didn't she feel it too? Maybe that's why our conversation was so awkward and forced. Nobody ever really felt all that comfortable talking to someone who was once their best friend and now seemed like a complete stranger to them at this point in life. It wasn't like we ever dated to make such a relationship like ours so awkward. It just happened. We just drifted away. I didn't like the situation we were in. Maybe that's why I was so scared; I didn't know what to expect from her anymore.

"There's no way she will understand, Naruto. Or like the idea of both of us together. You're older than me. She'll get the wrong idea about us and she'll -"

"So? It doesn't mean anything. Are we doing anything wrong? No. Does it matter who understands or not? Sometimes. But it's for our own benefit most of the time. Not for my sister or my parents or anyone else. This is our moment, babe. No one messes with our moments." Is this what he really felt deep inside? I mean, this sounded all corny - maybe because I was a cruel believer of the realistic side of relationships and not all that stuff that he was saying - but I really felt like he was going somewhere deeper with this. Like I was supposed to reading somewhere in between those lines. Maybe, just maybe… "Look, what you have to understand here, Sasuke, is that when you like someone, nothing else matters in the world. It may sound corny and overrated and kind of messed up from your point of view, but that's the way I see it. To me, those are true spoken words. Our age difference, what our family thinks, our gender, our race… they're just labels. They don't mean anything when you like someone. When you like someone, and that feeling overtakes you, there is no way in avoiding it. You like someone, you like someone. That's it. If no one likes that or understands that, well, then, fuck them. They don't know how we feel about each other." Now see that's what I didn't get. How exactly did we feel about each other? Not that I didn't feel the same about him or anything, but I don't know if that feeling was the right feeling to feel at this point in the relationship. I mean, so far we were in this relationship for almost two months. We couldn't be thinking about that just yet! Unless… it was just me thinking about that. Then, of course, it wasn't right if he wasn't thinking about the exact same thing I was. It was too soon in the relationship, right? Oh, I didn't know; I'd never felt this way about someone ever before. I didn't know exactly what it was that I was feeling, so I was a little scared as to what he meant by all this. Maybe I could ask…?

Before I could even stop myself, I found myself doing it.

"What do you mean by all that?" I felt so stupid for asking. Of course he was going to say the obvious! No one else's opinion mattered, and all that stuff. But I couldn't help the hope floating around and the butterflies in my stomach fluttering around. The phone practically slipped from my sweaty palms. I was that nervous. I was being hopeful, though. I couldn't help it.

"Well, I suppose it means that I care a lot about you. And it means that, um, w-well, it means a lot of things, really." He wasn't feeling that way just yet. My heart dropped to my stomach like an anvil. He cleared his throat. What was up with that? I guess Sakura and him had a lot of things in common. "Unless you feel a certain way about all that… or me…" And my hopes rise once again. He does feel the same way. I sit up in the bed, clutching the phone with both sweaty palms at hearing this. My heart pulses at a faster rate, beating against my throat now. I try to control my breathing. It's hard. "It's understandable enough if you don't - it might be too early to say it now, you might not feel the same way, you're too young, you're thinking of breaking up with me - there's a lot of reasons as to why you may not feel the same way. I understand. I just… feel like I need -"

"I think I do feel something alike to what you're feeling. I'm not really sure about it yet. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Excuse the cliché expression, but I'm not going to lie. This is my first relationship. I don't know what's right or wrong. And I don't -"

"I understand that, I do, so don't think I'm forcing you or expecting you to feel a certain way. I just want you to know that I care for you. Like, a lot." That made my heart jump a mile. My ears burned. My cheeks burned. He was making me all giddy inside. I was actually at a loss for words; how could anyone ever respond to that? I didn't know how to.

I really wanted to say something. Anything. But this really cut off any speech. How could any response compete with that? Gosh, I was acting like a girl. I was practically squealing on the inside. I think I might have jumped in joy. And shook the house, probably. My face felt like it was splitting in two by how much I was grinning. But I had to act cool. I wasn't going to show all my cards at once. The wrong point in a relationship to say that, wasn't it? I wasn't hooking him. I already had him. Which made this all the more exciting. I could barely contain any of my excitement at his words. At the way he made me feel. But what did I really feel? I couldn't be feeling this way already. Was I even allowed to just yet?

Even so, I couldn't seem to find myself from spilling my heart out into the receiver. Luckily, Naruto stopped me. He spoke before me, so I saved myself from running my mouth carelessly. My overactive heart practically zoomed to a stop. Honestly, what was I thinking?

"But, um, that's another subject to be discussed another day, right? We don't want to bring serious stuff like that into light. What I do want to know, though, is if you're free tomorrow afternoon? Everyone wants to see you again. So, we're having a movie night marathon over at Kankuro's apartment."

My stomach churned at the mention of 'movie night'. The last experience I had with movies wasn't such a good one. Didn't he remember?

"Um, well, I hope I am. By any chance, though, it's not, like, a horror movie marathon… right?" I found myself asking timidly. My voice didn't sound at all like me. Really, what did he do to me that made me act like a schoolgirl?

He laughed. I wondered if he was laughing at me. Paranoid, Sasuke, so paranoid.

"No, no horror movies. Girls are in charge of picking movies, so they usually pick out sappy chick flicks. Not that I'm not into that - I practically live for it now, no lie - but after so many years of hanging out with them and suffering through those movie marathon, it gets pretty annoying, you know? I can recite the whole 'Mean Girls' movie by heart, thanks to them!" Laughter bubbled up in my throat, and, for the first time, I realized I sounded giggly. Too giggly. Maybe I was laughing like that because it had been a while since I last laughed, considering all the stress around here. Either way, I don't think Naruto noticed. He went on with the conversation as though the unnatural and foreign sound never left my lips. It didn't bother him. "Ask your parents if you can have the day off tomorrow with me. Like, half the day - not the whole day; that'll just give them the wrong idea. Call me if they let you or not, okay?"

"Okay. I'll make sure to ask them first thing tomorrow."

"You better." I could practically hear him grinning over the phone. "Anyway, I got to go. I have to get some rest. You too, okay? I don't want you falling asleep on me."

I smiled.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'll make sure to pinch myself if I do."

He laughed.

"Or we can do something not so violent to keep you awake." I knew what he was suggesting. I loved the idea.

"Of course."

"All right, well, sweet dreams."

"You too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

When I hung up, I felt oddly empty. As though Naruto was the only light I had left in my life, but that was giving him too much credit. I had other people that made me feel that way, right? It wasn't as though I cared for him more than my family. I mean, I wasn't going to lie; I did. But that gave me no right to make it seem like he was the only person in my life who ever made me feel like that. You know, like, care for him and stuff? Yeah, like that. There were others, right?

Oh, who really cared? I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. Maybe I'll just knock out. Yeah, that seems right. I'm just tired.

* * *

><p>The next day was just as stressful as the day before. Today my mom was being emotional about the smallest of things. Of how she got a stain on her shirt and took it off in front of us, merely to scrub and scrub at the stain to remove it. But all to no avail. We had to comfort her for about thirty minutes before she calmed down. At least a little. She still felt strongly about that rival stain. She glared at that shirt as we pushed her into her bedroom to stuff another shirt over her.<p>

The next thing she made a fuss over how hot or how cold it was. We had to keep running back and forth to the thermometer to adjust it at a right temperature. By that time, we were so tired and hot ourselves, we just ended up leaving it where it originally was. Mom felt it was the right temperature. That was only half the stress, though.

The other half of the stress was when I asked for permission to go out with Naruto. That set her off. My dad got mad, too. Not because I was going out with Naruto. No, he loved him. But it was because mere minutes before he made her food. She didn't want it and ordered him to go get her something else. He did. He came back with what she ordered from him. She didn't want it anymore, and ended up eating what my dad had originally made for her with glee. And saying that it needed an teensy bit of salt. So, you can imagine how tightly wound Dad was about my asking for permission to go out with Naruto when he was less than appreciated for his attempt to keep Mom happy. She started crying into his food, saying all this nonsense about her children leaving her - I was just going out for a couple of hours, I told her; I was coming back - but she insisted on telling me the importance of family and of her needs and other things. I couldn't really understand with all her blubbering.

In the end, though, they let me go, after forty minutes of arguing and trying to convince her to let me go - and promising her I would come back, of course, with some ice cream or something - even by that time, Naruto was waiting patiently at his car. For how long? I didn't know. But it seemed it was a while. He actually had his car turned off to save gas. He didn't even care that I was constantly apologizing for making him wait. He said it didn't matter; it was okay. For a couple of minutes, we argued, and, in that moment, I believed I was the one who was pregnant. I was getting more emotional than usual. I suppose hanging out with my mother has its downsides. Not that it ever didn't. Now that I thought about it, I was kind of hungry, to be honest. Naruto promised me loads of junk food over at Kankuro's apartment.

And trust me when I say that there was a lot of junk food. There was probably a party's truckload worth of it. I felt like I was in heaven. Even more when his friends greeted me with hugs and smiles and laughs and compliments. They practically yanked me into the living room. The girls started fawning over me as usual, as the boys were arguing about things I couldn't really understand. The girls started asking me questions about my mom and how life was with a pregnant woman and other girly stuff, which was weird that I knew so many things about that. I didn't even have any sisters or that many girl friends. Well, okay, Sakura and Ino and Hinata, but that wasn't a lot. I was still a guy. I wasn't supposed to know things about girls. I was supposed to be all clueless about them and their stuff. But I wasn't. So I fit right in, for once.

For a couple of minutes or so, we talked. Eventually, we got around to choosing a movie. And, just as Naruto told me, he did know the words to 'Mean Girls', as well as all the other boys. And the girls, of course. It was amusing to watch them go through the lines with utter efficiency; I'd never seen anything like it. I think I was the only one who didn't know the whole movie by heart. Like I was the normal one, I joked. They threw food at me, laughing. Naruto protected me against the Flying Chips Of Doom with a pillow. They bounced off and hit them in the head instead. That didn't even faze them. What fazed them was how close Naruto was to me. How he nuzzled my cheek and kissed down my neck and held my hand. They 'aww'ed at the sight. Even the boys. I never thought he'd be so affectionate in front of all his friends. The boys and their girlfriends weren't even doing that. They were sitting separately, as a matter of fact. Girls on the couch - excluding me and Naruto, of course - and boys on the floor. It made me woozy and weak in the knees - despite the fact that I was sitting on the couch - to think I was the only one going through this and it made me blush a thousand shades of red as usual. That only brought the chorus of 'aww's' back. I could feel my face burning and ears scorching. I was shaking. I was sweating. I felt so exposed. I grabbed my flab of fat unconsciously. I doubted they were laughing at that. I knew they were laughing at the way I was acting. I hid my face against Naruto's neck, laughing nervously. He laughed, too, coddling me. That only made me blush more. The 'aww's' wouldn't cease. There was so much giggling and laughing. Gosh, I felt so embarrassed. Wasn't there any way to shut it off permanently? That way no one could ever know when someone made me feel the way that Naruto did?

"I have to go to the bathroom." I suggested quietly. I didn't have to go. I just wanted to avoid the attention that was washing over me. They knew I wanted to escape. They only teased me more. I got up off the couch, an almost permanent blush still remaining over my cheeks. Naruto joined me at my side, laughing, and told them to stop.

"Down the hall, to your left." Kankuro laughed. I practically ran out of the living room to get away from the teasing laughter. They were still laughing, even as I closed the door.

I pressed myself against it, suddenly tiresome. My head was spinning. My heart was racing. My palms were sweaty. But I was smiling. I swear, if my life was a movie or a book, I would call it 'My Crazy, Beautiful Life'; such words seemed appropriate for what I was going through and what I was feeling. So they were laughing at me. Big deal. Lots of people laughed, right? I didn't mind sometimes that it was at my own expense, but sometimes it was too much. Not like all drama 'too much'. I mean, like, sometimes I just needed a break from it. Like now. I didn't want all that attention to be focused on me. I didn't want it. Maybe I sort of appreciated it. But I wasn't used to it. That's why I escaped the cruel clutches from it. I felt like they were laughing at the image of Naruto and I sometimes, though. It was a stupid thought, I know; they were calling me 'cute' and 'irresistible' and all that crap. They loved me, Naruto told me. I don't know why. I rarely even talked. Naruto said I was a 'change of pace' as well. They were used to the loud and brash kind of people. He told me that they were relieved he wasn't dating another loudmouth like him. Which kind of irked me. Just a little. A smidge. A tad. Not even a lot. Just a little. Okay, it bothered me a lot, but he wasn't going to know that. What made me wonder about him was the amount of people he had dated and brought them to meet his friends or his family. How long did he last with them? Were they anything like me? I highly doubted that. I was probably the one and only fat person he'd ever date. Probably just to add to his collection. 'One of each,' he'd say, then his collection will be complete.

For some reason, I laughed at this. Maybe because I imagined him as a creepy old man, grinning with no teeth, with a pictures of a bunch of past lovers sitting on dusty shelves as he treasured them like they were his prized possessions. The thought of it all was absurd, I knew that. Still, though, I couldn't shake the idea that that's what he was doing. Dating people like he rifled a pack of cards. Maybe it was just me. Low self-esteem and self-image issues, you know? I looked in the mirror. I wasn't satisfied with what I was seeing. My cheeks were so blotted from embarrassment and they were so chunky, I was sure Naruto wasn't attracted to that. He just didn't want to hurt my feelings. And my arms. Oh, God, my arms. How disturbing. Why would anyone want to date a fat piece of shit like me anyway? Why couldn't I be like Naruto's friends in the living room? Why couldn't I be beautiful like them? I knew this was all so superficial of me, but I wanted to be like them. Because in the end of the day, it didn't matter whether or not you had chemistry with someone; all that mattered was looks. That face and that body would be the only thing that would get one through the day. It's a true story. I researched it once. Most people preferred looks over chemistry and compatibility amongst common interest. They didn't want someone who was almost the exact reincarnation of Rosie O'Donnell; that shit was thrown out the window even before coming out of one's ass. I know it was too much to overreact about things like this. But I was extremely sensitive right now. On high alert of everyone and everything around me. It was nauseating to even think about that. As a matter of fact, I wasn't going to think about it. Not now. Not ever. I faced away from the mirror and turned toward the door. I had a boyfriend to get to. If I wasn't attractive, I wouldn't have him, right? Obviously, there was something he liked about me. Right? Right. So, I had nothing to worry about. All was okay in the world.

I walked out of the bathroom, suddenly feeling almighty. I was happy with myself. I was happy with my life. I was happy with my newfound friends. I was simply happy. It was a great feeling. I never knew anything like it existed until now. As I neared the kitchen, I heard Naruto's voice. I stopped suddenly, smiling. I loved hearing his voice.

"…know what's wrong with you, Sasori. I don't understand why you don't like Sasuke. He's a great guy. I like him. Everyone likes him." At this, my heart stuttered in its sudden erratic beating. Sasori didn't like me? Of course, I mean, it was no surprise, but why? I didn't do anything to him.

Sasori spoke.

"You know my reason, Naruto. Other than the fact that he's not your type, I mean. Have you ever gone out of that little image you have for him in your head and actually seen him? He's hideous. He's fat. There's no way you could actually fall for someone like him. Unless it involved a bet and a substantial amount of money, then maybe - just maybe - I'd understand, but, shit, you don't even -!"

There was a sudden clatter of dishes. Naruto growled. Sasori cursed. I felt my heart clenching. The tears were coming. I was shaking. Naruto's friends in the living room were still laughing, as though they never heard the clattering of dishes. They soon faded into background noise. Naruto and Sasori's voices were the only ones floating through my mind. Sasori's words stung. I could feel my throat closing up. I could hear them arguing. Fighting. Fists smacking against skin. Naruto yelled at Sasori. Sasori yelled right back at him, with twice the force. The laughter soon ebbed away. Concern now filled the voices of the friends. They were running into the kitchen now. They pulled the boys away from each other. I stayed frozen on the spot, watching the scene through blurred eyes. Even through teary eyes I could see blood dripping from Naruto's nose. I'd seen him one too many times with blood. I couldn't stand it.

Everyone was screaming and trying to pull the boys away from one another. Despite their body frames, they were stronger than they looked. And then the animalistic hunger to rip each other's throats off danced around in their eyes for one another was dangerous to even face. Or look into. Naruto tore away too quickly from the restraints of his friends. He punched Sasori in the face. Hard. His friends couldn't even hold him back for too long. Sasori came charging right back at him. But Temari cut in between them, trying to get him to see her instead of Naruto. There were tears in her eyes. Pure, unadulterated rage filled his. He wasn't even looking at her. There was no love there for her that kept him from coming back at Naruto.

I stepped into the kitchen fully now, crying huge gushes of tears, shaking. Naruto saw me. He really saw me. His face seemed to lose the bit of insanity that drilled into his eyes. Into his fists. He struggled to release against his friends clutches. He wanted me. He stomped towards me in angry steps. But he wasn't angry at me. He needed me. As he neared me, I saw those tears in his eyes. Not tears of rage, but tears of pain. He was in so much pain. He hugged me tightly, his arms wrapping around my waist possessively, murmuring soothing words in my ear as I cried. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me, feeling the way he shook against me, feeling the effect those words Sasori said about me had on him. How could someone be so mean? I didn't do anything to him…

"Let's go." He whispered against my ear softly. He was shaking. His voice shook.

And I wouldn't have heard him, were it not for the curses and words Sasori screeched at us. Temari tried to get him under control. Friends tried to hold him back. It brought tears to my eyes at full force to see such an ugly scene before me. A friendship broken. Because of me. I nodded, at a loss for words, for once.

Naruto took my hand. He didn't look at me. He squeezed my hand tightly as he led us out from the poisonous environment. Sasori screamed at us. Told us to come back. That he wasn't done with him. That he hated him. They were done. Their friendship was at its end.

"Fucking queers! Fags!"

This brought more tears to my eyes. That discrimination. He hated our kind. He hated me. He hated Naruto. He always hated our kind. No wonder he looked at me the way he did. It almost seemed as though the words didn't affect Naruto the way they did last time, but, if you looked really closely, you could see the way his back tensed, the harder squeeze he gave my fingers, and that extra tear that squeezed from his eye. A huge one. He stomped harder and faster away from the house. We left from the house. We got in the car. He didn't look back as he drove away.

We didn't talk. He wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't even talk to me. He drove. Exactly the same way I did two weeks ago. He kept a tight grip on my hand, though. He was soothing me. For what? I don't think he knew that I knew I heard his and Sasori's conversation. But I bet anything he was soothing me because of Sasori's last words. They hurt a lot. I couldn't get them out of my mind. Or what he said to Naruto about me. I knew I was hideous. I knew I wasn't his type. But did he really have to point that all to Naruto today? Didn't he even care that I had all these gross attributes? Why was he still holding my hand? Wasn't he thinking about it, too? About how gross I was? Wasn't he going to take his friend's words into account? The beautiful people's opinions?

I pulled my hand away from him, suddenly disgusted with myself. He looked over at me.

"Can you take me home?" I wouldn't look at him, I promised myself. What Sasori said was right. I was hideous. I was fat. He wouldn't go out with me unless there was some sort of bet involved. It made sense. Why wasn't Naruto seeing this? He was under the influence of something. He had to be. No way he'd be with someone like me.

But I saw from the corner of my eye that he only nodded in complete understanding. The tears slid down my fat cheeks. I turned away from him, to the window, watching the pasture roll by. He didn't know I heard, right? I was being inconspicuous about it. He couldn't have noticed I was there.

It didn't take us long to get me home. He pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. He waited. I wasted no time in getting out. He did the same as well. I wasn't going to look at him. I didn't want to face the reality of this all. I was the ugly duckling. He was the beautiful swan. What more could God want? He got his laugh. There was going to be no more of this. I didn't want the world laughing at me or staring at me in awe because I was going out with someone like Naruto. I wasn't going to go with it any longer.

Still, Naruto followed. He grabbed my arm, then wrapped his arms around my shaking figure. I wasn't going to take that. I pushed him away, suddenly angry. He stared at me in confusion. He tried again. I did the same thing. Once more. I punched him. I didn't mean to. I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I didn't want him next to me. Okay, I knew, but that didn't mean I liked doing it. Either way, I didn't feel sorry for punching him. I sounded like a cold-hearted bitch, but, honestly, didn't he feel what I felt? Parading around with me with no shame? I saw him like Sasori. I didn't know why. He was the exact opposite of him, but, for some reason, my mind insisted that Naruto was just like him. Would probably turn out to be just like him, no matter what, no matter how much he would try to avoid it. Naruto didn't understand that. I didn't think he would.

"What's wrong with you?" His voice had a certain rasp to it. Probably from all the crying he was doing in the car. He hadn't spoken at all.

I started crying again. I wasn't going to let him know I eavesdropped on him and Sasori. I wasn't.

"I heard Sasori saying that stuff about me."

But I did. Why did I tell him?

He stiffened. He swallowed. He touched at what seemed to be his broken nose now. There was fresh pain in his eyes once more. He approached me gently. I took a step back, shaking my head, holding my palm up against his chest. We needed distance from one another. I didn't want him near me right now. Not after what I heard. What I seemed to believe. He touched my hand. I pulled it away instantaneously. His touch… was different.

"Don't listen to him. He's crazy, Sasuke. He's always hated the fact of me being gay. He doesn't -"

"Why are you even friends with him if he's only going to criticize you for being gay?"

"He doesn't! Not all the time… he's nice. Sometimes. But those are just negative points about him; those are things we overcame. We've been friends since forever!"

"So you're just like him?"

"No! We're different! But we're one in the same, Sasuke. He doesn't understand why I like you, he thinks -"

"That I'm some sort of bet." I was surprisingly calm, despite the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes.

"Well, yeah, but -"

"Am I? Are you just dating me for fun? Just to see how long I would struggle and finally give in to you? To have sex with you?"

"No, Sasuke, what the hell? You're not a bet! If you were a bet, I think I'd try a little harder to get you into bed with me."

That was… he was…

"You've thought about it." It wasn't a question. Not even a statement. An accusation. Naruto prickled at this instantly. There was a red hue on his cheeks now.

"Yes, but it doesn't mean that I will."

"Because you find me repulsive…?"

"Would you stop? You're acting stupid!"

"Now I'm acting stupid?"

"Yes! Like a crazed lunatic because you believe what some stupid idiot said about you, but you don't even listen to what I'm saying!"

"He's your friend! You guys are all alike! Why shouldn't I believe him?"

"He's jealous of what we have, Sasuke! Him and Temari are having problems! That's why he acted the way he did! He always loses control of what he says when he has problems with Temari! He says things he doesn't mean!"

I didn't believe him. He was trying to shed light away from the problem that was Sasori to make me feel sorry for him. I wasn't going to fall for it.

"Please… you guys are the same."

"That's not true." He tried to get near me. To hold me. I wouldn't let him. I took several steps back. I was shaking. Both with fury and fear.

I'd never had a fight with Naruto ever before. It felt like it was the end of the world. Like the world was finally giving in to all the stress around me and caving in over me. It felt horrible. I was devastated. I was crying. Naruto wanted to comfort me, but that was all lost now. I wasn't going to let him touch me. My walls were closing in. The walls that he had broken down with his charming and alluring personality were reconstructing themselves yet again. My defenses were up once more.

"I love you." He murmured softly. That only made me cry harder. Those words didn't feel right coming out of his mouth. I didn't know what that was. Surely, he didn't know either if it was with me. He was approaching me closer and closer, cornering me against the door now. He was kissing away my tears, kissing my lips over and over again, running his hands over my body, over my fat. He breathed me in. He memorized my mouth with utter concentration as he kissed me. He memorized every bit of my neck with such tender care. Why wasn't he repulsed? Why didn't he push me away? Why didn't he realize what a hideous person I was? "I love you, Sasuke…" He repeated. Taboo, I told myself. I shook my head. I pushed him away. The marks he left on me left me breathless, but it didn't mean anything to me. Not now. I didn't even think they would. Ever. After what just happened.

He couldn't love me. We were only two and a half months into this relationship. We met at a party. We almost fucked at that party. We weren't even official. He couldn't just throw those words around at me. I took stuff like that seriously. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't. I'd never loved someone in that sort of intimate way. So, I told him two words that would make anyone's heart break. Even mine. The two most saddest words that were ever invented in life's vocabulary.

"I don't…"

And I escaped into my house to avoid the look of pain that crossed over those beautiful angelic features of his. I shut the door on him, on my life, on the old me, on romance. I was done with that stuff. I wasn't ever going to experience emotions like that. They were too painful and confusing and they were just too much to handle for me. I wasn't ready for that. I ran up to my room, ignoring the confused welcomes of my family and slammed the door shut on the world. And I cried my sorrows away in the confinements of my room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And, yeah, story of Sasuke's life. Angst-y, isn't it? Strangely enough, I was listening to happy music as I was writing this... Craaaaazy. XD But, well, what'd you guys think? One of the major changes in this story. :) A sad one, yes, but life must go on. More changes are to come! ^-^

Anyway, please review; I'd like to know what made you tick in this chapter. (I bet you I know what it was. Lmao.)

- With **much, much** adored love,** KK247** -


	10. A New Beginning

**A/N:** Okay, I know, I know. I've been avoiding in updating this story COMPLETELY. I KNOW. I'm sooooo sorry! D: I hope this chapter makes up for it. (It should. 'Cause it's my birthday. :3 19, baby! :D) Hope you like!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Naruto called me several times after that day. He messaged me many times. Nonstop. He left me voicemails. He visited my house almost everyday to at least get some sort of chance to talk to me. I told my parents not to let him in. They didn't understand why. He was such a nice boy, they kept repeating. I refused to believe any bit of it. I'd closed myself in my room, away from the world, from the questions, from my parents. Every now and then, during the week, when my mother wasn't acting maniacal, she would ask me what happened between Naruto and I. I wouldn't tell her. I stayed strangely quiet about it, and continued to do what it was that she wanted me to do and more. I busied myself constantly with chores and avoided the questions that my parents bombarded me with chores. By the end of the day, I was tired, but, even as my mother ordered me around and begged me for things, I still went out of my way to do it for her. She was pleased, but not all the way. She really wanted to know what had happened between Naruto and I.<p>

It wasn't like I was moping around, but I was less talkative. And I was more enthralled by the idea of doing things around the house than going out with a couple of friends. Which was weird, considering I loved my friends so much and it would make me feel better if I hung out with them, despite the fact that my birthday was coming. My grandmother actually sent me an early birthday present. I chose not to open it, mostly because it would ruin the whole mirage of my birthday and birthday presents. It wasn't even that big. It was a simple envelope. It probably had money. Probably a gift card to my favorite place - she always knew, and I never told anyone about it; she was strangely intuitive - or tickets to go see one of my favorite bands or something. I didn't know. I didn't want to open it. I hardly cared for birthday presents at this point. As a matter of fact, I never did. They were things I didn't need. And I never asked for anything, yet my grandmother always insisted on sending me something. It really was an odd thing that she had such a soft spot for me. I'd never talked to her, much less make an attempt. To be honest, I never liked old people in general. Or that of her eyes. They had a certain… frightening… quality about them. And she never smiled. I also heard she was quite the strict lady. That she had very high values and rules about life and people. So you could only imagine the way I thought about her. And of her present. I wondered what it was she could possibly have the time to give me. What money to spend on with me? Not that she didn't have any. She had a lot. Lady was crazy rich. But why me, of all people, did she chose to spend it on? I wasn't all that special, right? Despite what I thought, she didn't think so. No matter what, I wasn't going to open that envelope just yet. Although, it really did intrigue me. With the right push of persuasion, maybe I could take a peek…? No. No, that would repeal the specialty of a great event like my birthday. Birthday presents were supposed to be opened on that specific day; it made it all the more special waiting for.

Of course, though, if the gift was really awesome and probably had an expiration date, then there's no doubt about it that I just have to open it. I mean, whatever it was probably would keep me happy for a few weeks or so and it would probably keep my mind off the fact that I was depressed about what happened between Naruto and I. Who wouldn't be, really? It sounds stupid, I know, since I'm the one who messed up our whole relationship. I should be happy, right? Or not if I really liked him. Which I did. I liked him a lot. I'm not going to say 'love' because that really is a strong word. For me. I don't just fling it around as easily as he does. I'm not saying he does, but he's probably said it once or twice in his life. Maybe more. Who knew? But I've never said it before to someone I was involved with. Naruto was my first everything. That was what scared me. If I said those three fated words - and to him, no less - there was no way I couldn't take them back. I was vulnerable from every side possible of my heart. If people were to ever hurt me, they'd know where to hit first. I'm going to be honest here, but I'm completely terrified of anything that involve the matters of the heart. Actually, I'm terrified of everything. And I can't stand knowing someone likes me - hell, loves me - when I knew I wouldn't reciprocate the feelings. To love someone meant to love yourself. If I didn't love myself, I wasn't ready to love anyone else. But Naruto was making it so hard. He loved me. The thought of it sent my heart racing and had my palms sweating. I pushed the thought of it far away from my mind. And the worst part of it was that he kept trying. He kept coming over to my house and sending me messages and calling me. And I kept dodging him. I kept denying him. I know I could just tell him what I felt, and I know he'd find some way to understand, but it wasn't that easy. He didn't know what I felt. Of what I was scared to feel. I was a jerk, I knew that, but I couldn't help it that I was acting and feeling this way. I'd almost worked up the enough courage to text him, but I held myself back. After what Sasori said about me that day had me bubbling with anger once more. Both at him and at Naruto, for some strange reason. Maybe because I couldn't find it in my heart to say what I wanted to him out loud. Everything was so confusing and so stressful. I didn't know what to feel. Why did they make relationships so hard? I decided not to dwell on it for so long.

I continued my chore-filled days as though living through life without the same difficulty I had hoarding over my head like a depressing cloud of nothingness. Life couldn't get any better. But it's not like it couldn't get any worse, either. However, with the way my life I was going, I suppose it was. I couldn't get Naruto off my mind.

The days continued to drag on. My birthday dragged even closer. Only four more days left. My grandmother's gift sat on the dresser. I wanted to open it. Naruto continued to come by my house. Except… each day he seemed to be losing faith. Seeing him get rejected so many times in a row should have made him utterly depressed - I was a bad person for hoping for this - but it didn't. He still smiled at my mother, as though nothing odd of the sort happened between us. As if I didn't break up with him. Such words brought tears to my eyes. Then he left when he got the same response as he did as from days ago.

As I watched him descend the front steps of my house from my window, I saw him stop. It was exactly like in the movies. He actually turned around and looked up at my window. He saw me. I tore away at once when our eyes met. Mine were filled with tears, no less. His weren't. What was wrong with this picture? I shouldn't have been the one acting like this. He was. This made me angry. But just exactly why did it make me angry? I was the one who broke up with him. He should have been acting this way. As a matter of fact… Did we ever really break up? I never said the words, right? He didn't say them, either. Was I just avoiding him, then?

God, I was. We were still together. That's why Naruto was still smiling the way he was. To be honest, though, I didn't want to go through with our relationship anymore. I was selfish, I realized that. But I'm also scared. Once I'd return his love, what would come after that? Sex. Marriage, if it was ever allowed between our kind. Then, after that, children. I wasn't ready for any of that! I was still just a kid. Naruto was a man. He was at a ripe age to be proposing ideas as such. He could manipulate me so easily. I was still naïve. He was capable. I was terrified. He was the romantic type. I wasn't. At all. I mean, look at him. He was visiting my house and watching me from my window. Wasn't that all romantic? It was, wasn't it? That was what terrified me. I'd never realized how much until this past few week. Maybe even before that. I was always scared.

Many things happened at once in that moment. My mother was calling me from downstairs. She wanted to talk to me. I knew about what. My phone rang for about the hundredth time in the day. Naruto, no doubt. He was still standing outside my window, you know? And then there was a knock at my door. Now believe me when I say that I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the stress of my life or something finally crushing me after burdening me for so long, but, in that moment, I screamed so loud that I collapsed onto the floor like a pathetic heap of nothing and bones. The world faded away and I was floating in the deep subconscious of my mind. That was a happy place. My happy place. That happy place was orange and bright. Why didn't I use that often?

I awoke many moments later. I was lying in my bed now. How the hell did I get up here? Didn't I collapse on the floor? It really explained the huge throbbing in my head. I groaned, touching at the tender spot gently. I was about to sit up, but I heard loud voices going against the action, then hands pressed me back into the bed. Good thing. I got a little dizzy. I opened my eyes. The first person I saw was none other than Naruto. His eyes were focused solely on me. They were filled with worry. And then there was a small smile on his face. I refused to look at him. Why? He was on my mind. Was it maybe because it was embarrassing to finally face him after so long of avoiding him? Probably. I felt guilty. Maybe it was also because I couldn't find anything worthy to say to him.

The next face I saw was my mother. She looked so worried. It wasn't good for her. For the baby. She cupped my face and brushed my hair from my eyes. She heaved a giant sigh of relief as our eyes met, but they continued to flick back and forth between Naruto and I. Mine did, too. My father and my brother were both staring me down seriously. Itachi was so close to Naruto, I could just feel the hate radiating off of him. But it didn't matter to him. As long as I was okay. Father was relieved like my mother. And he was staring at both Naruto and I like my mother was. Honestly.

"Are you all right, honey? What happened?" Mom asked softly. She was feeling my forehead. I was clammy. It was no wonder why. They were all so closely wound around me. It was hot. I sat up once more. This time, no one tried to push me back down on the bed. I was relieved. I didn't want anyone touching me. Much less be anywhere near me. But my parents watched me with deep worry. Their foreheads creased at the sight of my sitting up on the bed, looking anywhere but at Naruto. It was so awkward.

My father rested a palm on my shoulder. I looked up at him. My eyes roved over the broad jaw of Naruto for a moment. I pursed my lips, flushing. Dad spoke.

"We heard you scream. Are you all right, son? You look terrible."

Thanks, Dad. Thanks a lot for embarrassing me. It wasn't like no one knew I didn't scream or anything, but hearing it from him sounded like I overreacted. Which I knew I did. That was pretty bad. Even worse was the strained and stretched silence that seemed to drag on the longer Naruto remained in my room. On my bed. Watching me. I refused to look at him.

"I'm fine. Saw a bug…" My mouth lied, but had a completely different tone and approach towards Naruto, though. I didn't want to acknowledge him, but I couldn't stop the words from leaving my lips. I rounded on him immediately. He still watched me with the same stern stare. He still had that smile on his lips, too. It bothered me a lot. My eyebrows creased together. "What are you doing here?"

That was enough signal for my family to leave the room. And, as if they weren't polite enough, they closed the door to give us more privacy. Seriously? Did they really have to go and do that? It wasn't like what Naruto and I were going through was that much of a secret. They didn't have to close the door, for that matter. It made things all the more awkward.

So, there we sat in silence. Naruto and I didn't know what to say. We both wanted to say a lot, I could tell. But the whole awkwardness of the situation made it so hard. And it was all my fault. He was sitting so close to me. I could smell him. He smelled so wonderful, but, no. I wasn't going to get sucked in by him anymore. He was different to me now. Maybe it was just me, though…

"I've been trying to contact you. I've sent you messages, I've called you, I've IMed you… Nothing. I know you know I've been trying to talk to you. I want to know what's going on with you, Sasuke. I feel as though you've been wiped from existence…" It might as well have felt that way. Hell, I hardly felt like I was a person anymore. I was so bland in my ways. So… odd. I was bad.

I didn't look at him. He didn't force me to. Not that I believed he ever would, but, either way, I was thankful. He was waiting for an answer, though. I couldn't give him that. He knew why I was avoiding him. If he knew, then why was he prone on hurting himself? I didn't understand why he'd still come to my house after I avoided him for so long. He had to know. I didn't have to tell him. But maybe…

Maybe that's what he wanted. Just for me to tell him what it was that bothered me about him. Which wasn't the case. He didn't bother me. It was me. I was the cause of all of this. It bothered me that I was acting this way. Man. How could he have kept this going on for so long? Wasn't he tired of chasing after me already? Anybody would be tired of chasing one person around for so long if they were being difficult, if they didn't want to continue with the bullshit anymore. What was Naruto's problem? What the hell did he want from me? He couldn't want me anymore, not after what happened, after what I said to him…

"Sasuke. Why won't you look at me?" I could see him out of the corner of my eye coming closer, his thigh resting against mine.

I looked in the mirror. At my reflection. At his reflection. At our reflection. We differed so much. Compared to one another, we were nothing alike. Of course, excluding the obvious. But in other ways. Our personalities contrasted. I was the shy, hermit type kind of guy. He was the outgoing, exuberant type of guy. He was a romantic at heart. I was a realist, almost to a point of being a cynic. He was mature. I still had many things to learn. Why couldn't he understand that? I wasn't ready to handle him all the way. To handle so many feelings, so many emotions, so much of him… It was a huge burden to carry for a guy like me. I was already carrying enough, both literally and figuratively. And it just couldn't go on for any longer. Naruto was never going to stop this, and I was never going to feel comfortable enough with myself to accept any of this happening to me.

It took all of my strength - possibly even more than just that - to speak; my throat felt so raw, as though I'd swallowed sandpaper. I finally really looked at him and opened my mouth.

"I don't… I don't want to be with you anymore, Naruto." This hurt me. It hurt him. He was shaking his head, forehead creasing.

"Don't say that, Sasuke. This isn't what you want. We've gone on for too long to cut the ropes from here."

He was joking, right? What about this past week? We hadn't been going on long after that. Why was he being so damn difficult with this? Why didn't he just let me do this?

"Isn't it obvious? I've been pushing you away. I don't want you anymore. I don't love you." That was all a lie. I did. I really did. I wasn't going to let this get in the way of what I was doing. "You've done too much for me already, and I appreciate each and every thing, but… this isn't me. You don't belong with me. You belong with better people; that person is not me. I'm the worst."

He continued to shake his head. Was this how he dealt with breakups? Denying all of this was happening? But it seemed as though it wasn't that.

"You're not the worst. You're the only person who's real, who gets me. You just pretend you don't see that because you're afraid. You're afraid, Sasuke, that one day I might end up leaving you when you feel what I feel. But I won't. You do love me, but, like I said, you're afraid."

I wish he would just stop being the psychologist - stop trying to fix us - and face what was happening! Why the hell wasn't he understanding?  
>I rise from the bed now, turning on my heel to face him fully, infuriated.<p>

"No, Naruto, I'm not afraid. I don't pretend. And I don't get you. In fact, I hardly understand why the hell you would go out with me in the first place if you were only going to get ridiculed in the end because of it. You got into a fight with Sasori because he knew it was completely impossible for you to go out with someone like me! He knows you best after all, Naruto! You guys have been friends for years! I'd believe him more than you any other day!" I was crying now. But these weren't tears of sadness - they were tears of rage. Rage because it all was so painstakingly obvious and so incredibly ridiculous. Naruto was toying with me, taking me along for the ride, and I felt like I knew, but I just wanted to feel loved. So I went along with all of it. What the hell was I doing with him? I shake my head and a mirthless laugh escapes my lips. I stare at him, into his eyes, into those endless orbs of blue, of wet confusion and anger. Who was he? "I realize I don't know much about you. Did you know that?"

This only adds fuel to the fire.

"Well, that's your own goddamn fault, Sasuke. You didn't even try to figure stuff out about me. I did. You're so fucking selfish. Did you know that about yourself? It's always me, me, me." His eyes were raging. He stood from the bed now. His fists were clenching and unclenching and the veins on his arms stood out vividly. He swallowed several times before he spoke, calming himself, I supposed. "When your mom announced she was pregnant, you took the liberty of withholding such responsibility over yourself when it clearly wasn't. You even faulted your parents for daring to have another kid. It's not their fault - they didn't plan it. But you made it seem like it was. You pinned it all on your own goddamn self, Sasuke. What kind of kid does that? You're as selfish as they come."

"I'M as selfish as they come? What about you? You won't tell me a single fucking thing about yourself, like, for example, WHY does Itachi hate you? Why am I the only one who doesn't know anything about what it is you guys are ripping each other's throats out about?" If I wasn't mistaken, he was fazed by this, but he recovered much too quickly for me to notice entirely. He was on his roll again. I'd never seen him so angry at me before. I didn't know he was even capable of handling such rage, but then I remember that he has anger issues. This has probably been burdened deep inside him for so long at me - by me - that it was bound to come out at some point. Of course, he still had some restraint, but still. I'd never been more afraid in my life.

"See, there you go again! Me, me, me! Why does that even matter, Sasuke? Didn't it even matter to you that someone like me was coming up to you, giving you what you wanted most in life? What anybody would want? You know what it was - don't you dare fucking pretend like you don't! It's love, in case you didn't know - or you were keen on pretending like you say you weren't - I gave you a shitload of that, and you don't even care! Hell, none of it matters to you! Our relationship was utter crap to you! Something you could overuse once and never use ever again!" He took a breath as to calm himself once more. To be honest, I don't think it helped much. I could see the rage glinting in his eyes. Like jewels. Sapphire jewels. They were still wet, but, again, not with sadness - if only, just a smidge, judging by how angry he is right now - with anger and confusion and many more emotions and can't bring myself to describe. It hurts to see him like this. To see us like this. But we're at the end of our love story; it was bound to come to this eventually, whether now or in the later future. "I thought I knew you well, Sasuke… I thought I was the only person who knew everything about you. I thought I was the person - the ONLY person - who you loved to the ends of time. But I guess you were just faking it." He shook his head at this and laughed humorlessly, then he wiped at his eyes with the back of his arm, sniffling. "Man, I always thought you were better than that. But… if it's really what you want, then I have no choice and abide by what seems right to you. Goodbye, Sasuke."

He then kissed me on my cheek, pressing his lips so tenderly against my skin that I was thoroughly dumbfounded by it, given the fact that he practically explained everything he despised about me. Well, not entirely - just what bothered him about me, but that was basically the same thing. However, it was in just that moment that I realized that maybe I did love him as much as I thought, that maybe I WAS just afraid of keeping this relationship going, and, yes, maybe I was more selfish than I would have thought myself out to be. God, how could Naruto keep our relationship going for the both of us? I was selfish. Yet he was thinking constantly of me; I'd never once thought how anything could benefit for him. Only of me.

I almost called him back to me. I regretted breaking up, I regretted being so selfish, I regretted not thanking the heavens above for the slice of angel they sent down to me. Instead I thought about Naruto, of how difficult it would be if I continued this. It would only be the repeat of this - I wasn't going to repeat this for my sake. Might as well let him go on with his life and me on with mine.

I watched as he took hesitant steps to the door, each one as slow as the next, but I could tell he wasn't stopping for me - he had to go. He wanted to go; it was visible in his teary eyes. His fingers clasped onto the doorknob and turned, then, before either of us could say anything, he left out of my life forever. I heard him descend down the steps. I heard him call out goodbyes to my parents. I could hear my mother and father clamoring after him. They truly liked him. I felt even worse now. I could now hear his voice, the false cheer, the false hopes given to my parents that everything was fine. Surely, they weren't going to believe that, right? They could see the tears in his eyes as clearly as I could. There was no way to avoid the way they glistened even in the darkness. I shut my door just as he did so downstairs. I could hear my parents conversing quietly. Even if I would have liked to have heard what they were saying, I refrained myself from doing so. I knew what they would be saying. I knew what they were going to do. Or probably not. This is a first for all of us on my part. The first breakup of the youngest son.

Knowing the way the aftermath of these breakups go - by movies, of course, not experience - I should be crying right now, and my parents should be coming upstairs to comfort me. But this was all my fault. I was in no place for comfort, and my life wasn't a movie. This was real life. I had to suck it up and deal with it. And that was just what I was going to do. However, first I was going to make a call.

I flip out my cell phone, partial tears blurring my vision. My fingers trip over one another in pressing the correct number I'm about to call. It takes a few tries to get it right, and enough courage to gather to speak to this person. But I have to do this. She is who I need right now. She can help me.

She answers.

"Hi, Grandma, it's me. Sasuke."

* * *

><p>Today was finally my birthday. It had been exactly four days since my official breakup with Naruto. And the day in which I was leaving to my Grandma's for the rest of my summer days, on behalf of her birthday present to me. She was originally going to fly me in for a couple of days, but I begged my parents to let me stay for the summer. It took a lot of convincing on my mother's part, but with a little help from Dad, Grandma, and, surprisingly, Itachi, I was able to go. My dad was one of the first ones to say yes in letting me go. He said that it would be good for building up my character, considering the fact that my grandma is much tougher than I am. And for the fact that he wants to stay on her good side. She doesn't really like him all that much. I don't really know why. He's a good man, right? But that's besides the point.<p>

I leave in just a couple of hours. I packed my bags just two days before, stuffing whatever I could find. I didn't really care all that much for comfort because while I would be at my grandmother's house, I would not find much comfort in my clothes while I was there, considering she would 'be on my ass from the very first day I arrived, to the last day I would leave,' as she quoted. To be totally honest, I was terrified of her words - well, anyone would be, right? - mostly because I knew she was not the kind of woman to go back on her word. She was a scary woman, but she had structure. Rules and structure. I needed that. She was hard with everyone, and I needed to be disciplined. I mean, I don't mind all that much. If anything, rules and structure are what I needed in life. Not that my parents didn't provide them - they did - just not as heavily as she did.

For example, if anyone were to sleep over at her house, couples were supposed to sleep separately. In different rooms, far away from one another. Lights out was at nine. Absolutely no electronics were allowed in her home - it was considered rude, whether using it or not, and it caused rotting of the brain, as she says. No cussing. No using of the Lord's name in vain. All that stuff. So, you can only imagine the stuff I could be giving up. Not that I didn't mind. I was becoming too reliant on the electronic stuff. I needed to be disciplined. And I needed to get away from this place. It was starting to become too cramped, too open, too... Just too much.

It could be because of the breakup with Naruto, but that was just too obvious. It could be the pregnancy of my mother. Or the strain of Itachi's relationship with me. Or of all the contact I was losing with each of my friends. Not that I ever really tried to contact them all that much in the time I spent here. But still. A summer alone was what I really needed, besides, it's not like anyone was going to miss much of me. Or that anyone would really want to hang out with me. After all Sakura, Shikamaru, and Ino were all going to be busy with their own stuff - college applications, scholarships, jobs, summer vacations. They probably weren't even wondering about me. And I suddenly wondered what they were all doing now. Could any of them know what I was planning to do during the summer? If they did, would they even care? Would they tag along?

I laughed at the thought. Of course not. Like I said, they had better things to do than hang out with someone from high school. No one stayed in contact with anyone from high school after they graduated. If anything, it was pure determination to keep the friendship alive and thriving and keep it strong. None of my friends were doing that, not to be a pessimist or anything, but one would think they would try a little harder to drop a line or two. But I shouldn't even be thinking about stuff like that anymore.

After my breakup with Naruto, I decided it was time for a change. The big, official change. I wasn't going to be the person I was anymore. I was going to be a completely different Sasuke. I wasn't going to be the Debbie Downer anymore. I had to replace my sullen attitude with something akin to upbeat. I mean, I had to try. However, before I try to do all of that, I had to get working on my self-esteem, which meant my weight. I had to control my feelings. I had to put them to good use. Not by stuffing my face full of donuts and other types of junk food. That's why I needed my drill sergeant grandmother. She would set me straight, send me in the right direction, the correct path to a healthy lifestyle and better attitude towards life. She was going to break me down only to build me back up. Just the right way I was supposed to turn out. Not the pathetic sack of crap I was now.

Dammit, there I go again! I had to really stop that.

"Sasuke! Honey, are you ready to go? You don't want to miss your flight!"

Wow, is it already time to go? I check my watch. Fuck, I guess it was. How long was I standing in my room, thinking about all of this? Well, not enough time to think about that. I only had about an hour or so before I left for my flight. I grabbed the two suitcases by my door and practically rushed downstairs and out the door to the car.

The drive to the airport was a short one. Maybe, to me. I'd been drifting in and out a lot today. And a very quiet trip as well. Especially with Itachi sitting next to me in the backseat. While we sat next to each other, I kept sneaking peeks at him, and he did the same. I could tell something was bothering him. He looked so troubled. I wondered what it could be. It could have been my hasty and unexpected decision to spend the summer at Grandma's. Or it could be something else entirely. He could possibly even be wondering why I broke up with Naruto. But I highly doubted that. I think, if anything, he was thankful for the occurrence. Probably even expected it. I doubted he was even questioning my intentions of it all. Because he knew something I didn't. But I didn't care. Well, I wasn't supposed to. That was a taboo subject now. Anything related to Naruto that I was to ever question was completely prohibited from ever escaping my lips. I had completely high standards for myself now, didn't I?

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the terminal of my flight. Only a couple of minutes left. My parents stood before me, smiling. My mother had tears in her eyes. Oh, man. Here come the waterworks. The pregnant woman waterworks. Those were the worst. But my dad kept a pretty firm hand on her emotions. Pulled her away once her hugs kept me from breathing. At one point, he had to pull himself away from keeping me alive as well. My leaving the family just for this one summer really affected him. And here I thought he was a strong man. I guessed wrong. He was just a big old softie at heart for his youngest son. As for Itachi... well, we didn't exchange many words. Just a few sentences. Mostly 'goodbye' and 'see you when you get back' and 'be safe' and 'behave' and 'listen to what Grandmother says; she knows best' - that kind of stuff. It was normal for him to say that to me. After all he was my brother. There was no way he wasn't going to stop from ever saying that. We weren't talking, sure, but that didn't mean he didn't love me. He even gave me a big bear hug as our farewell. To me, that was a sign of truce. A sign that our silent treatments for one another were over.

Once we pulled away, he gave the smallest glimpse of a smile. A lopsided smile. A rare thing from him, but still greatly appreciated. He tapped my chin lightly, kissed my forehead, and nodded towards the terminal, signaling my cue to go. I was just about to go, but my mother grabbed a hold of me once more, sobbing uncontrollably now, clasping her hands around my neck, keeping me close to her. And, yet again, my father had to pull her from me. Gently, of course. However, not before giving me one great big hug once more before sending me off on my merry way to grandmother's.

It was this moment in time that I really looked at my family, at my mother, at my father, at my brother, and at my unborn brother or sister. They all loved me. They were sad to see me go. I could see it all in their eyes that they were going to miss me. I smiled at this realization. Sure, we weren't going to be together on my birthday for the whole day for me to bask in the beauty of my family's happiness. They were going to be in my heart and on my mind all summer, however. There was no way either one of them would escape from there. I blew them all kisses as my last farewell for the summer and turned away from them to embark on my journey.

Once more, the hours flew by as I went forth to my grandmother's house. Where I was headed to took a while to get to. Tanigakure. A small village my grandmother lived in since she was born. Never dared to move. Said it was just like the Amish times; she loved it. Batty, old woman, I tell you.

Anyway, during the time I was on my flight, I listened to my music, looked out the window, exchanged a few sentences with the person sitting next to me for the smallest of moments, and wondered how different and difficult my life would be now that I would be living with my grandmother for the summer. I'd never said more than a couple of sentences to her in all my life, yet, as I said before, she seemed to like me more than anyone she's ever met. She had a soft spot for me. Even more now, I bet, now that I took up her offer in visiting her - AND living with, as well - for the summer. I suddenly wondered whether she saw this coming. I'd heard some strange stories about her doing some strange things that later made sense back when she was younger. She probably knew I would break up with Naruto, sooner or later. Was that why she was looking at him so angrily during my parents' anniversary? Could it have been that? Or maybe it was just because he wasn't related to the family. No one knew, but her. Still. I wasn't going to think about that anymore. About him anymore. I promised myself.

As soon as I stepped out from the plane and walked into the terminal, I saw my grandmother. And, in that moment, whether I was looking or not, I swear I would not have recognized her. Her hair was pulled into a bun. It hardly looked gray. Her makeup was perfect. Very lightly toned. She looked as though she was practically glowing. And her clothes. You know how grandmother's always wear mu-mu's or, well, you know, 'elderly-like' clothes? You know the type, right? Well, my grandmother wasn't wearing any type of clothes like that. She was rocking cowboy boots, jeans, and a brightly colored blouse that could blind anyone she would meet or pass by. I'd never seen her dress like this before. I was used to her dressing nicely, whether at a party or not, but I suppose either way if she did dress like this, I wouldn't notice much. I never noticed anything. I really never did, which was why this came as a surprise to me. She looked so much like my mother. I could easily mistake her as so, now that I recognized her, especially once she smiled my way.

She was surprisingly active for my grandmother. She practically ran to encircle her arms around me for a hug. She was smiling so wide, I was afraid the strength of such a workout would break her face. I laugh aloud at the thought of this, and to the feel of my grandmother's lips on my cheek. She was so affectionate. How did this side of her whole persona escape from me? I hugged her back, kissed her back, told her how much I was looking forward to living with her. She was so happy. I didn't see her as a hard, drill-sergeant type kind of grandmother that much anymore. She was exactly like my mother. And I was exactly like her, now that I thought about it. We had so much in common. I discovered this as we were driving to her house. Before she started to explain the rules of her house, of what I was allowed to do and not to do, what I was required to do while I was rooming in her home. Sure, this might have brought back what I originally thought of her, but she was just try to help me and reassemble me into the man I was supposed to be. She knew that's what I wanted, what it was I was looking to her for.

When we arrived to her home, I realized she lived right next to a ranch. It wasn't hers, obviously. There was a man outside tending to such things. He was big, for an old man. Very built. And tanned. He was smoking a cigar as he tended to whatever it was he was doing. It looked like he was feeding chickens. I heard the distinct clucking. He waved our way when my grandmother called out to him.

"Hey, Asuma! How are you today? How's the day treating you so far?"

He grinned at the sound of her voice. I could tell, even from where I stood.

"Fine, and you?"

"Spectacular! As you can see, my grandson here, Sasuke, has voluntarily come to stay here with me for the summer! Can you believe that?"

The man named as Asuma suddenly halts whatever he's doing, and approaches the fence, staring at me the whole time as doing so, grinning. I do the same. He snickers.

"Is that right, sonny? 'Voluntarily', as your grandmother Kurenai says so? I find that very hard to believe." He snickers once more as my grandmother huffs jokingly behind me. He slowly peels the glove off from his fingers and puffs the smoke from his cigar away from me. He extends his hand out towards me and he grins even wider. "Nice to meet you, Sasuke, son. I'm Asuma."

I clasp his hand and shake gently.

"Nice to meet you, too, sir."

To this, he shakes his hands at me, ashes from his cigar flying everywhere.

"No, no, no. No 'sir'. You call me 'Asuma', son. 'Sir' makes me feel so old. Do you really think I'm THAT old, hmm?"

Well, I didn't know how to answer that. Was it a trick question? I don't know if it was. He looked so serious, but it sounded like he was joking. As a matter of fact, because it confused me, I believe I stuttered. Behind me, I hear my grandmother click her teeth. Then her hand rests on my shoulder. I can feel my cheeks overheating.

"Oh, leave him alone, you old sack of bones! Putting him on the spot... of course he thinks you're old. Look at you, you old prune!" She chuckles as I bow my head slightly. She nods toward her house. "Go on inside and make yourself comfortable, honey. Your room's at the end of the hallway, to your right. I'll handle him."

So I do. I take my two suitcases and drag them all the way down to the hallway, down to the last bedroom door on my right. I set them down before I open the door, and, once I do, warmth greets me. The smell of fresh flowers fill my senses, and nostalgia suddenly washes over me. I remembered this room. This was where I slept during one part of my childhood, when we lived here. Only for a couple of weeks, but it made a huge impact on me. It was on this bed where I slept in with Itachi when she read us bedtime stories before we went to sleep. It was in this room exactly where our grandfather put on puppet shows for us, along with our grandmother sometimes, right before he died. I had such wonderful memories here. And, because of this thought, I guaranteed myself I would have the best time here. Of course, it was going to be a challenge, but that was probably what was going to be the best thing about it. I knew I was going to make a better person of myself. I believed I would do it. That I could do it. All with the help of my grandmother, of course. I smiled in acknowledgement of this, as I stroked the curtains at the window, feeling the fabric, indulging in the remembrance of this room.

A gentle knock sounded at the doorframe and I was sucked back into reality. I turned around to find my grandmother there, not looking at me, but around at the room, smiling.

"Memories, huh?" She murmurs softly. I nod and look around the room as she was doing so. Then she sighs. I look back at her. She's looking at me now, her eyes crinkling at the sides. "When was the last time you were in here, anyway?"

That was an easy question to answer. It was when I was skinny, back when I was seven or so. I know she remembered.

"About ten or so years ago." I chuckle, as if laughing at myself. She only smiles. Then her eyes roam across the room, and she raises her eyebrows at something behind me. I turn. And there's a picture of me - when I was skinny; what happened to THAT Sasuke? - and Itachi's arm is wrapped around my skinny little shoulders. The picture brings tears to my eyes. We aren't like that anymore, I want to tell her. But I shake it off and smile. I turn back to her. "I was really skinny, huh? Look at me now. Got some meat on those old bones, don't I?"

She smiles, but that's all. She does not find me poking fun at my now fat self funny at all. She knows that THAT Sasuke is the one I want to be. She knew even when I told her it was one of the reasons I came to her for help. Well, I didn't say anything like that, but I'm sure she knew it was implied at some point in our conversation, in the least. She steps into the room and sits on the bed, then pats at it gently for me to join her. I do. She rests her hand on my arm.

"Sasuke, honey, I know that's not what you really think. You want to be like that again, don't you? This is why you decided to stay here, hmm? To impress that... boyfriend... of yours, right?" The hesitation to talk about him was clear in her voice. She didn't like him that much, I bet.

Oh, man, Grandma, just why did you have to bring him up? Now I'm required to talk about him, and talking about him hurt. A lot. I avoided her look as she waited for my answer and I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

"Uhm, we're not exactly... We're not together anymore, Grandma. We broke up."

I was surprised to see the shock glinting in her eyes, then her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. She removed her hand from my arm and they went to her lips immediately, to cover the way the shock reached her fully now. Maybe she was faking it. Maybe she wasn't - no one knew but her, once more. Either way, the gesture was nice. I shook my head, shifting uncomfortably against her. She wrapped her arms around me, cooing softly.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I knew he wasn't good enough for you. He was just THAT type of boy. Ooh, he is going to get it! Once you get back home, he'll see just how much he misses you. Trust me."

Wait a minute... did she think I was the one that got dumped? I practically launched myself out of her arms to explain that it wasn't him that did the dumping, that it was the other way around. And, even if he DID supposedly dump me, I wasn't going to show him just how much he should miss me. I should probably explain that to my grandmother, but... she'll probably think I'm lying. Just to save face. She'll probably think that I'm just telling that to myself to avoid the fact that he dumped me. But... it wasn't even like that... well, at least, that's what I think. Maybe he did dump me, but I just didn't realize it. Or something alike to those lines. Because, come on, no one would ever really believe that someone like me would ever dump someone. I was the dumpee and it would stay like that for as long as I was fatter than fat. This realization just irked me terribly.

I didn't want to be fatter than fat. I wanted to be better than the rest, and I wanted it to stay that way for as long as I lived. Today, and from then on forward, I was going to change. I was going to for the gold and I was going to keep reaching it from then on and I wasn't going to stop.

Confident in my abilities, I looked into my grandmother's eyes and smiled, as though I knew I WOULD accomplish this by the end of the summer - because I KNEW I was - and I nodded.

"Grandma, we should get started right away. Make me anew."

To this, she grinned, because I knew she was capable of doing just that. And, for once, I wasn't scared.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Yeah, I know. Kurenai is not Sasuke's grandmother... but she looks EXACTLY like she's from the Uchiha clan! :O Anyway, I hope it was good enough for you guys as it was for me. ;D (Sounds like a sex favor. Lmao.)

Review, please (Of course, though, only if you'd like to, or if you just wanna bitch me out - for shits and giggles, I suppose - either one is appreciated)!

- With **much, much** adored _belated_ love, **KK247** -


	11. Forgetting And Expecting, Naruto

**A/N:** So, here it is! :) I know you guys have anxiously been awaiting for this update, so here it FINALLY is! After many delays and technical difficulties and mishaps and shit, I got it done. To me, it's record time, but whatever. Read on! :D

**P.S.** Naruto's P.O.V., bitches. :P

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"Naruto, please, stop! I don't want to be filmed! Point it somewhere else!"<em>

_"No, if I'm ever going to make a movie, you're going to be the main star of it, no doubt about it. I am not going to shield you from the crowd's view if you're th__e most important part!"_

_"How am I the most important part? What's the movie even about?"_

_"Psh, I'm not going to tell you. You're probably going to criticize it."_

_"Why? Because you're filming it with your video phone?"_

_"You see...?"_

_"I'm just kidding, you big baby! Come here - no, wait, first you got to ditch the phone to be in close proximity of me."_

_"Aw, come on, I just want to do one full frontal shot. You know, kinda like those porn shots, where they zoom in REALLY close and then the camera gets a full shot of -"_

_"Okay! No, this stops right now! No more of this full frontal, zooming, shooting thing anymore; it ends right now!"_

_"It is not a 'thing', as you so ungraciously described..."_

_"It is if you're talking about porn shots and stuff."_

_"Nah, come on, I won't talk about porn anymore. I promise you. Just let me film you a couple of minutes more. The lighting in here is incredibly flattering to someone with your complexion..."_

_"...Kissing ass is not going to work with me, Naruto, now turn it off."_

_"No, wait, Sasuke, if I tell you what I'm going to make my movie about, will you let me leave it on? Just to film your reaction? Just for that. I promise."_

_"That is the second thing you promised."_

_"Well, this one I'll stick to."_

_"...Please tell me it's not about porn."_

_"...Well, you can't exactly take my word for it, but..."_

_"...Naruto."_

_"Okay, no, it's not about porn. It's about... it's about a boy whose life is so dull and gray and dreary that everything around him seems colorless. Every color that he tries to get himself acquainted with just seems boring, and he can't bring himself to try harder to get the color out. Oh, did I mention he was colorblind? No...? Okay, well, he's colorblind, which makes the situation a whole lot worse."_

_"Yeah, I bet."_

_"Are you criticizing it?"_

_"...No, sorry. Go on."_

_"Thank you. Anyway, where was I? ...Oh, right! So, he's colorblind, right? Or so he thinks. Until he meets this guy, a painter, who paints with the world's brightest colors, which makes the guy see, right? And it's weird because, all of his life, he thought he was colorblind, when, in reality, he could see, but he was just too bored and focused on his own life to ever notice this. He only thought that he was colorblind whole time. In the midst of it all, of course, he falls in love with the painter, and, well, the colors had never been brighter... so... you know... yeah. What do you think? Is it Oscars material?"_

_"...That was... different... from what I had originally expected from you..."_

_"What, did you really expect me to direct a porn?"_

_"No! I just... I just never realized how deep your thoughts were... I thought it'd be about, well, you know, superheroes, food, or, you know, something along those lines. Not that I don't believe it couldn't possibly come from out of your mind, no! Never! It's just... weird, is all..."_

_"But you like it, right?"_

_"Definitely Oscars material, yes."_

_"Good."_

_"..."_

_"...What? Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"...You said that I would be the main star of your movie, that you weren't going to shield me from the crowd's view. You said I was the most important part. So, um... who was I?"_

_"Who were you? Uh, well... you were the painter..."_

_"..."_

_"What?"_

_"None of your characters is based off of me, am I right?"_

_"Yes, the painter!"_

_"That is bull!"_

_"Criticizing...!"_

_"But you're lying! You hesitated!"_

_"I'm telling the truth! You ARE the painter!"_

_"The painter is an artist! I am NO artist! I have zero talent!"_

_"You have talent!"_

_"Oh, really, like what?"_

_"...Um... well, you have -"_

_"See? Nothing comes to mind. Obviously not the painter."_

_"Well, I can't find anything that quickly if you put me on the spot like that! You didn't even give me time to find a worthy enough talent of yours!"_

_"Naruto, I have no talent! And the camera's not even facing you!"_

_"Yes, you do! And, well... Still! The pressure sets in..."_

_"...You're such a weirdo."_

_"And, look, let me clarify, so you can understand, the painter didn't represent any creativity, but personality. The painter's personality is an aspect of your personality, therefore, the painter is you. Which means you make my world brighter than anything else. To me, that is real talent, being able to bring out the color when no one can see it anymore... I'm that colorblind, hallucinating boy..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"...Is this where we start making out?"_

_"Turn the camera off!"_

I stared at the frozen smile of Sasuke on the video of my phone. Of my ex.

Ex. Like a knife, that word cut through my heart. That very word sounded foreign on my lips. Foreign in my whole vocabulary. Sasuke and ex did not belong in the same sentence together. I didn't want to believe that we were broken, that we didn't belong together, because we did. The video on my phone surely was enough evidence of how much of a great time the both of us had. Hell, that video was taken just a week before shit went down the drain. What the hell made him break up with me? Obviously, it wasn't because he didn't love me. He loved me. It was easy to notice, despite the way he was speaking to me. He was like that. I wasn't going to change him. It was the way he was, and I loved that about him. I loved everything about him. Which was why I was rendered incapable of hating him, of hating the way he told me he didn't love me. I know it wasn't true. He was just scared.

Being the way he was, the way he used that attitude as a defense mechanism, the way he pushed me away before our relationship could go any further. Sasuke wanted to go further, but the little voice inside his head told him something different. The voice inside his head told him to leave the relationship, told him that none of it was true, told him that he was just dreaming if he thought I would ever go for someone like him. The little voice inside his head told him that he was stupid for falling for me. I knew that was the way he felt. When we broke up, I could see it all in his eyes. He thought it was all a cruel joke God was playing on him. It wasn't. I really loved him. As crazy as it sounds, I could imagine spending the rest of my life with him. I don't know if he did that. He kept mostly to himself, for the most part. He never talked about his dreams or goals or anything about what he hoped for in the later future. Whether he imagined us together in that future, I didn't know. He focused on the now.

I wanted him to open up to me, to let me in, to help him, whether he was in distress or not. I wanted to be the wall he would lean on in the darkest of times. I missed him so much. I wanted to call him, just to hear him address me personally for one last time, at least. Maybe before I left or something.

I only had about a week left here. After that week, it was back to Sunagakure. Sure, it was just a town over, but I would be busy all the time with school and work and everything else in my life. I would have to be an adult once more and forget that I ever had what one would call a 'summer fling'. It's just... that's not what it was. It meant more to me than for it to be just a 'summer fling'. It wasn't just another relationship. It wasn't a 'hit it and quit it' thing. Sasuke was special. He was the painter. He made my life colorful again. I'd never met a person with a personality as vibrant as his.

Before he came into my life, I was pathetic. I'd practically lost most of the will to talk, most of the will to walk and laugh and smile. I didn't care about life anymore. At one point, I was suicidal. But, right before I wanted to end my life, I decided that maybe if I went to my sister's graduation, I would be fine, that I wouldn't feel this way anymore. Sakura and I used to be really close as kids - we aren't as close anymore, but we're getting there - and I believed that if I were to go see her graduate and talk to her, to congratulate her, everything would be fine. That I would be fine. That I wouldn't have to worry about going home and ending my life just for this moment. Just for Sakura.

Just then, in that moment, that I was outside, on the night of her party, smoking, I saw him. Sasuke was accompanied by a blond haired girl and a black haired guy. They were ecstatic to be here at the party. The blond girl screamed for my half-sister's name loudly, which attracted the attention of all of us outside. Then she raced inside, giggling, while the boy beside her was dragged. Then, in that instant, he came into view. He looked terrified to be here. Like he didn't belong. Instantly, I was attracted. I had a tendency to want to help those in need, and Sasuke looked liked someone in severe need. Yet he went in the party anyway. I threw out my cigarette and followed him inside.

I remember losing sight of him amongst the sea of people grinding up against each other and kissing each other and fucking each other. The sight is horrifying, but it's a party. It's to be expected. Yet not in my little sister's house. Whilst I pass by some couples, I push against them, separating them. They curse at me. I curse back at them, and then I'm back on my journey to go after Sasuke. Then it was right in that moment that I saw him punch a guy in the face. I'm thoroughly stunned at how perfect his aim was, and at how utterly surprised the guy is by the force of it that knocked him off his feet. He didn't see it coming, but Sasuke feels like the guy will come after him for it. He runs for it, right into my room. Obviously the guy won't do a thing. The guy was fucking drunk as hell, I remember. He just laid there, groaning and cursing at him, then, eventually, he fell asleep.

I remember going into my room and finding him in the darkness. I remembered talking to him and suddenly feeling something for him. Now, mind you, I've never really cared much for sexual preference. I didn't believe in it. However, this was my first time ever trying to initiate a sexual escapade with a male. Especially with someone like Sasuke. Trust me, I don't care at all about appearance - I like me some personality - but, even so, he attracted me so much, in that moment. He had such a innocent look on his face, I remember, when I practically pounced on him. I lost myself in the moment too quickly for me to acknowledge much of what was going on. I remember thinking, 'What are you doing, you idiot? At least ask for consent before taking advantage of someone! Age! Ask for age!'

I did, and I realized what I was about to do to him. I didn't want his innocence to be taken away so quickly. Like this? From me, of all people? Never. No one would ever want to confess to losing their virginity at a party; the idea of it all sounds horrifying. Which brought me to ask to see more of him. Not because I wanted to take his virginity, but because I wanted to know more of him. I didn't know why, but I just did. Something about him just attracted me, just told me to consider him as my whole future. No matter what happened after that, no matter that he didn't end up being my whole future, he made a huge impact on me, made me want to live, and I regretted none of it. I was thankful to have him in my life. Even if it was for the smallest of moments. Regardless, they were the best moments of my life. Those moments I would cherish forever. I loved him...

"Naruto!" At the sound of Sakura's voice, my heart crashed against my ribs. I snapped the phone shut on Sasuke's frozen smile and stuffed it down my pocket immediately. She then came dancing into the living room, then she took a seat right beside me, grinning. I grinned back with twice the effort, to compensate for my lack of zeal these last couple of weeks. But then she got this strange look on her face. Concern. "Are you okay?" Wasn't I grinning? Wasn't I fine? I was, right?

But I wasn't. She reached out towards my face, reaching out to wipe away at the tears that were suddenly streaking down my cheeks. Fresh, warm tears. Since when did I begin crying? And how could I not notice it? I suddenly rise from the couch, away from my half-sister, away from this emotion that I deemed to believe weak, and I wiped away at them with the back of my arm helplessly.

"I'm fine." I say, before my sister can ask. However, she's is not at all convinced, just like I am not. But I will not let her see me like this, mostly because this is one of the only times she's ever seen me like this. The only other time she's ever seen me crying like this was about a year or so ago. Since then I had stopped crying. Now it was just weird to start crying like a normal person again. Like, really crying. It felt liberating to finally do so... but I just wasn't going to start it up again like nothing. No. Crying was done and over with. I look back at Sakura and her concern only seems to grow the more I look at her. "Really, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I reassure her.

She's still not convinced. She stands up beside me. She takes my hand.

"'Don't worry'? Are you stupid? If you're crying like this, then, OBVIOUSLY, I'm going to worry and I'm going to want to know who or what is making you feel this way. I may be your half-sister, but I am perfectly capable of fully listening on whatever it is that's bothering you. Seriously, Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking about shit... past issues and everything. Still hurts, even to this day." I lied, hoping, in a way, to steer her away from what really was bothering me. About Sasuke and our whole history and everything. I promised him that I would never say anything about our relationship to her - even if we were broken up. God, it hurt so much keeping everything about him a secret from her.

Clearly, my lie worked. Well, in a way, because she refrained from touching me at once. The look of concern on her face suddenly turned uncomfortable. At that look, almost as if on cue, I started to shed tears yet again. Then anger took its place. None of this anger was directed towards Sasuke, but towards the subject I believed Sakura to be thinking about. I swore never to think about that again. But, doing so, brought back the memories. I found myself growling out in anger and my arm swings to my right. I knock over a vase. I don't hear the crash at that moment, but, even then, I know I can't stop myself. I can't even focus my vision, due to the blinding blur of anger that's taking a hold of me. Sakura's grabbing my arms. She starts to say words that she thinks might soothe me. They don't. They have no effect on me whatsoever.

She wouldn't know how to soothe me correctly. There was no way to. There was no way anyone knew how to. She didn't deal with what I had to. No one could possibly know what I'd gone through. The months and months of despair and helplessness. No one could save me. Not even myself. Why couldn't I have stopped myself from doing what I did? Why did he let himself get acquainted with me? I was pure poison. How could he not have noticed?

Why, Kisame? Why did you let me near you? Why did you come when I hadn't called your name? When I hadn't even mentioned you once? Why...?

* * *

><p>It was the middle of September now. It had been about two weeks since my breakdown. I hadn't had an episode like that since... well, since with Sasuke, really. And I wasn't feeling any better about this one. With this episode, I felt like I was losing my mind, like I was a lost cause. Like... I wasn't ever going to get it back. As of now, I was in my room. My room here back at home, not with Sakura or my dad or my stepmom anymore. I decided to come back a little under a week after my breakdown. I figured, since my mother handled this with me before. Sure, it didn't help as much, but she was my mother, any little bit of help that came from her counted, more than anything else. Other than that, I missed her. I needed her. There was so much I wanted to tell her, of everything I went through while I was over at Konohagakure. Despite the fact that I didn't really want to tell much of it anyway. She had a right to know as to why I had been so depressed in the past month that my family had told her about. So, there was no escaping in not telling her, no way to avoid her. Hell, ever since I came back from Konoha, I have not been out of her sight once. Not that it bothers me or anything, but she's got to leave me alone sometime. Sure, I'm alone right now, but it's only because it's late at night, the time in which everyone is sleeping. Especially my mom, and she usually stays up really, really late at night. I'm not trying to sleep. I'm trying to sort myself out. I'm trying to calm myself. Why? I don't really know.<p>

All I know right now is that smoking and drinking away my troubles in the confinements of my room feels like heaven. Nothing in life could ever compare to the simplicity of drinking a cold one after a hard couple of weeks like mine. I mean, despite the fact that my mother banned beer from my clutch. Said it'll damage my brain and stuff. I don't know. I didn't really care all that much about my health to listen to her warnings.

I was a free man. I was free to do what I wanted. I didn't need my mother to tell me. To save me. I could do it on my own if I wanted to. Shit, if I wanted to jump out of this window, I was free to do so. I don't need a reason to, I don't need her to tell me not to do it, or anyone else, at that matter. Why? Because I'm a free man, that's why.

I'm down to my last drop of beer now. And my cigarette's already burning out to the last inch. I thought it would last me for a good ten minutes or so. I guess I estimated wrong. It's been a while since I had either, so I could only imagine my anxiety in wanting to try any of these things ever again. I'd been clean since the beginning of my relationship with Sasuke. But now it was just getting out of hand. If anything, I believe I was developing the smallest of beer bellies. Hardly visible, but still there, if one looked really closely. And every other day, I would reek of smoke. Probably because of my beard.

Yeah, my beard. Not the pansy-ass kind of beard, like peach fuzz or shit like that. Hell, no. This is the beard that's made for real men. Really fuzzy and rough and just plain fucking manly. The kind of beard that just reeks of manliness.

Ever since my episode, I haven't really cared much for my appearance nowadays, or of keeping the clean cut look anymore. What was the point in trying to look good for anyone anymore, if there was no one important in my life like Sasuke to impress? Depressing, I know, but he was the only reason I kept myself looking so fresh and clean. Shit, I know most of you are thinking, 'What the hell is wrong with you? He dumped you; that's life. Get fucking over it.' Now, my dear friend, I would, if I could. But I can't.

If anyone out there has ever been dumped, you know about the mourning process, about how long it takes before you're actually over it. Because, come on, you're never really going to be over it. It's going to haunt you forever. It's going to follow you everywhere. It's going to be the worst nightmare of nightmares, your constant fear, your rival. So, guess what, fuckers? It is NOT over, not even in the least. You want to know why? Because everyday you'll be wondering why that person dumped you, what you did wrong that could have caused it, why couldn't you stop it from happening, why weren't you thinking before acting, and why the fuck did you ever even let an idiot like yourself fall in love. Trust me. Getting over being dumped is not easy. It's fucking hard to get over. I mean, you're not going to wake up one morning and smell the fresh pile of crap on lie you've gotten yourself to believe and be strong enough to say, "You know what? I AM over it. I didn't need that person anyway; they were bad for me." No, they weren't.

Because you were in love with them and they were in love with you. The sole purpose of being alive is to love and be loved and just be... Just be fucking happy. But I guess it doesn't work out like that for the most of us. At least not in that way. That void can be filled with other things. Like beer, for example. Beer will always be there for you, beer is the best friend you'll ever have. Beer will never leave you. Sure, it's a bitch in the morning to handle, but nothing more, nothing less. You're back to loving it in less than a minute. Which reminds me... I need a beer. And a new smoke.

I think I'm all out, though. The stash in my mini fridge is all gone and done with. And my cigarette pack is done as well. Even my extra pack in my drawer. Since when, I wonder? I don't think I've smoked all that pack in just a few days time. Man, I have to buy some more. Beer, too.

But, shit, it's late at night. None of the stores will probably sell me any. I'll probably have to go to a club to get a decent drink. There's no way I can go. Without my mother noticing, at least. She might be asleep, but she's got very sensitive hearing. Very light sleeper. And I don't have the slightest temptation in going to the club at this moment. I don't believe I'd want to deal with drunks or the partygoers at this time of night. And I don't think I'm in a stable enough state of mind to be driving anyway. I mean, sure, I might be drunk and a little less than able to be conducting anything mechanical. I needed to call a friend. Friends had beer, right? Friends had sources and money and stashes of beer and cigarettes. Unlimited supplies of it. And they were all insomniacs! Well, most of them, anyway.

Okay, I had to call a friend. Anyone. Who could be up at this time? I bet only a select few of my friends would be up, and even if they were up, I doubted they'd want to come pick me up. Especially if they were around their significant others. And I doubted they'd even want to tear apart from one another and their little sex escapades. Which sends me into a deeper funk. I needed love. Whether it was from a friend or not. I thrived for it.

I was calling the first person on my contacts list. More or less. And that chosen person would get to be the one to spend one lucky night with me. Not of sexual pleasure, though, I mean, come on, I'm not a sex-crazed maniac. I had control of myself. Well, most of the time. I just needed someone to talk to. And to bring free beer and a fresh pack of cigarettes.

So, let's see.

I grab my phone from my nightstand and start scrolling. The sudden light blinds me for the briefest of moments, but I recover quickly, and my eyes slowly adjust to the unwanted light. I continue scrolling down, and the farther I scroll down, the more interesting the names get, until - finally - I find Temari's name. And, at that moment that I stare at her name, I doubt in calling her. Mostly because of Sasori. Originally, she came from his circle of friends, and I doubted that she would want to talk to me if Sasori and I weren't friends anymore. It'd be awkward if we were to talk to each other, because, come on, eventually, we're going to talk about him one day, whether the topic of him comes up in a conversation or not. I mean, we'd been friends since forever, Sasori and I, and then the inevitable happened. We fought. Sure, we've had our fair share of arguments and fist fights, but not as brutal as the one we went through on that day, a month ago.

And, surely, not over a relationship. That shit was stupid. But I guess if it was over Sasuke, it wasn't. Not for me, at least.

So, I didn't know if it was the right decision to call Temari. Hell, she might even be asleep at this time. It's about three in the morning right now. Shit, I even remember Sasori telling me she loved sleeping her days away, and was hella cranky if someone woke her up. Whether meaning to or not. And she was a scary woman as well, so I really was doubting calling her. But... I was closest to her, out of all the girls and the guys. We were so alike. And I liked her the most out of all my other friends. Not trying to favor anyone as a best friend out of all the others, but she might as well have have been as such. Then, without any further consideration or thought, I roll over her name, and press the middle button. I'm calling her, and there's no way of getting out of doing so - except maybe hanging up, but I can't find myself to do so; I'm frozen - and I'm terrified. Even in my drunken state.

It rings once.

Twice.

Three times.

I'm about to hang up. She's not awake. But then I hear a click, and a very cheerful, giggling, "Hello?"

Instantly, I wake up. I hear talking in the background. Then laughing. Not bar talk, but normal backyard talk. Just friends hanging out and throwing back a couple of brewskis. I suddenly wonder if I did the right thing in calling her. What if Sasori was there? What if he asked Temari who she was talking to? And what would happen if she said my name? Would he rage out on her and start going all mad? I didn't want to know. My need for beer was stronger than being intimidated by someone who already was out of my life. He didn't matter anymore. Who cared about him? I sure as hell didn't.

"Hey, Temari. What's up? Where are you?"

"Hey, Naruto! We were just talking about you! The gang's all here at my house!" Distinctly, I hear Kankuro's voice yell, 'And mine!' in the background. Everyone laughs drunkenly. Temari tries to shush them. "Where have you been? We haven't seen you in ages! Come over!" She was practically squealing in my ear. Could it be because she was drunk or because she was really happy? Who knew? I was glad she was ecstatic for this call, because I knew I wasn't all hyped up enough for the both of us.

"I can't. I'm a little tipsy. I can barely see straight."

"When have you ever been able to?" She giggles. I laugh, even though it was a poor joke. I wasn't in the mood to laugh right now. I just needed a beer. And smokes. I just wondered whether or not she'd be able to provide them for me, without even my needing to ask. "Well, don't worry. We're coming over, okay? We'll bring the beers and you can get even more shit-faced drunk. The good kind of drunk, not that pansy ass, 'I can't see straight' kind of drunk kind of state that you're in. That's pussy drunk." In the background, I hear howls of laughter. And I suddenly think whether or not it's a good idea that they'll be able to drive without getting in an accident.

"You guys sure you'll be able to drive?" I ask, unsure. I hear a bunch of snorts in the background, and my question is retaliated back at me. Mocked, even. Even I know who's doing all that mocking. Kankuro. Jerk. "I just don't want you guys to get into an accident because of me."

"Relax, dude! We're not driving! Our little brother's sober! He can drive us." Kankuro suddenly informed me. And, to this, I frowned. Little brother? I didn't know Kankuro and Temari had a little brother. Even so, they never talked about him. "You'll like him. He's cool. Just like you. He likes boys too! Right, Gaara?"

In the distance, I heard, "Shut up, Kankuro!" Then there was the laughing again.

"I didn't know you and Temari had a brother. Why didn't you ever talk about him?"

"Hey, he's not legal yet, so hands off!"

"Calm your tits, Temari, I'm not gonna bone him. Especially when I'm in the mourning process."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude! 'Mourning process'? Who died, or what?" Kankuro questioned, sudden concern overtaking his drunken state now. Everyone seemed to wake up at that sentence as well. I could suddenly hear all of my friends' concerned voices. They didn't seem all that drunk anymore. They were all ears for me now. Although such a thing like comfort was what I wanted, I didn't want it like this. Over the phone? No. I needed face to face confrontation.

"I'll tell you about it when you come over." I sighed softly, reminiscing the horrid memories of these past couple of weeks of mine. "But just be quiet when you're close by, all right? Stay outside, at least."

"Got it. Okay, everyone in the car! We're going to Naruto's! We're gonna cheer his ass up!" Kankuro yelled right before he hung up, and everyone cheered happily, drunkenly slurred words of content. All directed towards me. I felt myself smile as I hung up.

This was what I needed. At least to be near a few friends. I needed to surround myself with familiar faces and reacquaint myself with the world. Anything to come out of this rut. That, and, of course, talking about my situation. About why I wasn't myself this past month, why I happened to deny them time and time again as they continuously invited me over and over to drink with them. Why I rarely called them nowadays. Why I never seemed to be happy when THEY called me. They asked me every time they called what was wrong with me, to try to help me. Even a little bit. But it wasn't the right time to talk about it. I needed time to myself to deal with it, before I let anyone else in on it. Sure, the whole situation of mine is dangerous to keep a burden of all alone. Eventually, the stress gets to a person, and will want to talk about it with someone. I didn't want to, but I believe my friends had a right to know. Obviously, they were all worried about me enough to ask me about my problems and such whenever they called. They didn't need to. I guess they truly cared about me. Not that they never did. I just never took the time to notice.

Just as I'm about to get up and go out the door of my room, I hear honking. Continuous honking. Loud honking. Enough to wake up the whole block of my neighborhood. I sigh and shake my head, resting my palm over my face, defeatedly. Stumbling my way through the darkness of my room to find my shoes, I slip them on and start heading out of my room, the honking still going on. Carefully, I stumble my way through the darkness, holding onto the walls for support, considering my slightly inebriated state as well as being careful as to not cause any disturbances amongst the way to the front door. I pass my mother's bedroom, and I hear her snoring softly. Peacefully. No hitches in her breath show any sign of her taking notice of the noises outside. She must have been really tired in watching over me all day today. I was slightly less than cooperative with her today. I wasn't very nice to her. She didn't deserve that. She was my mother.

She needed my undying love, not my sour mood. She bore me in her womb for nine horrifying months, and this was the way I treated her? After all these years? And even now I was sneaking out of here when I knew she wouldn't like the idea of it. I was such a bad son. I didn't even apologize to her for my behavior earlier as well. Better late than never, though, right? Of course, I'm not going to wake her or anything. Especially if my friends were outside, honking their asses off at me.

Slowly, and carefully, I lead myself into my mother's room, stepping over strewn clothes, pairs of shoes, worn-out books, and undergarments on the floor, until I finally reach her. For a moment, I look at her. She has a peaceful look upon her face. If anything, I can see just a tiniest hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. I wonder what she's dreaming about. I wonder if she's dreaming of me when I was a baby, when everything was so much easier, so much more happier and childlike. The time when she didn't have to worry about me growing too fast. I believed that was her safe zone. She constantly told me how much she missed the way I was when I was younger. She'd say, as time went on, my face would remain the same. Innocent and young forever, while my temper would flare with age. She loved me all the same either way. Well, I hoped she did. I leaned down towards her and kissed her forehead gently. She breathed in deeply at the touch and stirred slightly, but she didn't wake, thankfully enough. Even when my friends continuously honked and beeped and yelled and laughed outside like a bunch of drunken idiots. I had to go out there before they begin to cause an even louder ruckus around here.

As quietly as I could, I made the rest of my way down the hallway and to the front door, and with the slightest of ease, I yanked the door open. It creaked dangerously to the movement. I froze, cautious, listening for any stray mothers walking up behind me to call me out on my mistake of going out without asking for her consent first. But... Nope, nothing. Nothing but her snoring. Still snoring her troubles away. I sigh in relief and go through the door, shutting it as quietly as I possibly can, and then I head to my friend's car, only to find them staring at me with wide eyes. I stare back at them with the same wide-eyed expression.

"What? What's wrong? Did I forget to wear pants?" I check, just in case, but I am wearing pants, so that's thrown out the window. Kankuro is the only one to step out of the car to look at me closely, as well as invading my personal space. He reeked of beer and smoke. He touched at my face, frowning. Oh... My beard. Right. They hadn't seen me in forever. I probably looked like a hobo to them. I touch at my beard gingerly, and suddenly everyone's out of the car. Observing me. I mean, of course, not Kankuro and Temari's little brother - Gaara, was it? - he got out of the car, but stayed a fair distance from the circle started to form around me. I looked at my friends. They were murmuring in astonishment.

"Fuck, dude, looks like a squirrel nested on your chin. What the hell kind of shit happened TO you?" Deidara, the bravest of them all, asked. "I mean, it's a good look and all. Different and stuff, but... What the hell, man? Seriously? You look like a hippie..."

"Or a hobo." Temari added, stroking my beard gently.

I shrugged, shrugging away the groping hands of my friends.

"A lot of shit's been happening to me lately. Can't really focus much on appearance if I've got nothing to live for anymore, now can I?" I mutter bitterly, and Sasuke's face appears in the back of my mind for the briefest of moments.

To this tone - possibly even to reading my mind, maybe? - even the girls catch on. Konan and Temari and TenTen gasp quietly. The guys are clueless. They don't know shit of what's going on through the girls' minds or my mind. I meet the girls' gazes and they fall victim to tears. Oh, man, no. The guilt trip was coming. I hadn't planned for this.

"No, Naruto, you didn't. Tell me you didn't."

"Not possible..."

"But you were so happy! What happened?"

The guys weren't catching on. Still. I look at them. They look back at me, urging me to tell them. I sigh, and motion them all to come over to the back. In that instant, they go to the trunk and tug out a cooler, and a pack of cigarettes is suddenly in my grip. We settle up in the back and we all sit in a circle, all awaiting my story. And, before I even get to sit down, the words are slipping from my lips on their own. About Sasuke, about my breakdown, about everything. And, with each word that I spoke of my story, their hearts seemed to break just a little inside. About just as much as mine. Nobody could ever possibly feel what I felt at this moment. At least not my friends. They had their significant others - they were fine. Well, to me, that was the way it seemed, like they were perfectly fine with their lives, that they weren't feeling like shit like I was feeling these days.

"I know exactly how you feel, Naruto." Temari suddenly murmured. I turned to her, confused. She was looking at me, but it was as though she wasn't. Like she was looking somewhere deeper. I thought of Sasori and that wretched day that ruined my relationship. The rage pulses at my fingertips. I see her shake her head and laugh mirthlessly. "Probably not as strongly as you've been feeling these past few weeks, but I might as well be at that breaking point. I mean, when Sasori said those words to you two, I couldn't bring myself to look at him in the eyes the same since then. Even before that, I didn't feel the same for him as I did when I first fell in love with him. He was a being a complete asshole, but I didn't realize it back then." I could see the tears squeezing out from the corners of her eyes. The sight of Temari crying brought tears to my own eyes - I'd never seen her cry before, and she'd gone through a lot of bullshit in the time that she was with Sasori. I felt so selfish talking about my shit with Sasuke. She looked like she was the one in need of loving companionship. She looked as though she couldn't bare to go on with her story. I reach out for her, as do all my friends, to hug her. But she sakes her head and laughs. "I'm okay, really. Everything's fine. It's all old news. We're old news now. He was a jerk. He didn't deserve my love, and that of your friendship, Naruto. I mean, why couldn't I see any of it before? To think, I was in love with the guy... It might as well have been a whole lie. But I can't erase what's been done, what I've gone through with him. I just..." She couldn't continue anymore. She started crying and shaking. She couldn't even finish the remainder of that sentence. Or if she did, the rest of it was unintelligible. She had to get up from the group to have a moment to herself. Even so, Gaara, her little brother was comforting her, looking over his shoulder at the lot of us for a brief moment before leading her away to the car. I felt like such a dick. I didn't know what had been going on in my friends' lives, and I felt even worse when I couldn't understand why Temari was acting like it was the end of the world. I mean, I know I sound like a hypocrite, but breaking up with a boyfriend doesn't mean that your life's over. It just means God has something better planned for you out there in the world. Especially if a jerk like Sasori has come into your life. But it still didn't solve the mystery of why Temari was acting the way she was. Like if she didn't know what to do.

TenTen obviously saw my confusion. She came by to sit next to me. She looked over at Temari before she spoke, then she looked back at me, suddenly concerned.

"Look, Naruto, I know your breakup with Sasuke was probably confusing and just so out of the ballpark that you didn't see it coming, but... Neither did Temari. She thought she was just breaking up with Sasori and she thought it would be the end of it all, but it isn't over for her." She wasn't getting to what I think she was, was she? She couldn't be. But she was. It was exactly what I thought she was getting at. "The reason why Temari's acting the way she is is because she's pregnant. She found out about a couple of months back, right before Sasori broke up with her. She told him, and he lost his shit. Told her he didn't want anything to have to do with her, or the baby, or anything... That he wasn't going to pay for child support or anything. He kicked her out of the house and everything. Sasori also said some words in between all of that, too, but... It's not right to repeat them. She's living with her parents right now, but it looks as though they're not going to support her for much longer if their grandkid doesn't have a dad by the time it's born..." As she was speaking those very words, I felt sorry for Temari, and I felt so angry at myself, and at Sasori.

Mostly at myself because it took me over a month to find out about this. To find out that one of my best friends was pregnant. My best friend! That wasn't very nice on my part. To call myself a friend, I had to be supportive, and here I was worrying about stupid shit that didn't even matter. I could always find someone else. Just like Sasori was old news, Sasuke had to be old news too. I wasn't going to forget about him completely, but I had to push him away from my mind if I wanted to be a good friend to Temari. She was in need of a friend, of some help any support. I'm sure she got that from our friends, but she needed all of us. Especially me. I wasn't a very supportive friend then. Even now. She needed all of us. She needed me. She needed all the help she could get. And that's what I was going to do. I was going to help her through all the shit she was bound to go through, and I wasn't going to bitch about it. Or about my life to her. I would tend to her every needs. I would heed her call and be her sugar daddy, if she wants me to be. I mean, I had the money - I worked in the business area; that was enough of my salary to buy her her baby stuff and everything - hell, I could give her my room, if her parents were on the brink of kicking her out of her own house. I'm sure her brothers wouldn't allow it, but, still, I could help her. Or at least try to help.

For the time being, my sole purpose would be to tend to her and her alone. This year, I wasn't going to be depressed. It'll be as though I was never dumped and it'll be like I never had my breakdown, or like I ever had anything depressing happen to me. I wasn't going to dwell on the past like I constantly did. It only made me a go into a deep funk of being a worthless sack of flesh and bones. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be happy, and I didn't want to worry about the small things. Even so, whether I wanted to be happy or not, I wanted to set a good example for other broken-hearted companions of mine. To show that it isn't good to dwell on the negative, to show that maybe - just maybe - there is a silver lining amongst all the dark clouds hanging over your head, that there is hope for a better today and tomorrow. One might think that it's the end of the world - shit, I was thinking that it was moments ago; I probably still do, to this moment, but probably way at the back of my mind - but it isn't. There is more to life than just falling in love and being in love and staying in love. There is the thought of experiencing life unfolding before you. Sure, it might not be the life you're expecting, but it's the miracle of it all that makes it possible.

Expecting it or not.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Well, not many would say that this was a good chapter. I'm even saying that it wasn't a good chapter, but at least you got a somewhat strange point of view from Naruto's side. Maybe not. Ah, well. But now you're diving deeper into his persona. Somewhat... Meh, I don't know. Lol.

Anyway, review, please! :)

- With _much, much_ **adored** love, **KK247** -


	12. Stronger And Better

**A/N:** Mmm-hmm, update! :D Aren't ya glad? I hope you are. Haha.

Anyway, enjoy! :)

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>To say that my return back home would be a pleasant one would probably qualify as an understatement. My return back home was, in a way, surprising. Both to me and my family. What I expected of myself when I got on the plane and I would sit down on the seat was for me to be huffing and puffing at that time. Getting on the plane and bumping into people, then apologizing in account for it made it quite difficult for me to handle all at once. I was out of breath once doing so. Pathetic, I know.<p>

But now...? Now that I got on the plane, it wasn't as difficult to do so anymore. I could squeeze in between the seats without any effort now. I didn't sweat because of the exerted effort I thought I was doing in completing these meaningless tasks. And it was all thanks to my grandmother.

In the time that I was staying over at my grandmother's, I worked my ass off. There was not a moment to waste over there. When I wasn't working out, I was working on Asuma's ranch, and, when I wasn't working at his ranch, I was doing chores, and, when I wasn't doing chores, I was either sleeping, taking a break, or eating reasonably portioned, healthy, organic meals. They tasted like shit, but it was better than eating nothing.

However, when it was time to eat, I hardly looked forward to it anymore. I barely even noticed when I was hungry. Sometimes, when I was working out, I had to be reminded by my grandmother to eat, but, even when I did, I ate a little. I would suffice for eating half of the plate. Only half of the time, thought. The other half of the time, I ate about a quarter of my food. I got so full easily now. My grandmother said she was adapting my body into eating portionable-friendly-sized amounts of food. I appreciated her for that. If it wasn't for her and her strict rule and order about that, I would shovel mounds and mounds of food atop other mounds of food. And I'd probably end up being twice my original size. But I wasn't my original size anymore. I was down to a reasonable, normal, average size. I wasn't at my goal weight yet, but if I continued the routine that my grandmother had worked out for me, then, someday - soon - I would reach it. That is, if I had enough control over myself, now that I had no one to scold me over my unhealthy habits. She guaranteed me that. I believed in her, and, now, because of her, I believed in myself. I was much more confident about myself and of my abilities. Now I could do things that I thought weren't possible for someone like me. Now I could talk to people, without thinking that they were judging me, or laughing at me, or were trying to hide the fact that they were disgusted by me - and all without blushing. Well, most of the time; I still had to work on that.

Because of my grandmother, I had the power over myself now. Because of my grandmother, I had hope and faith in myself. I could do anything and everything I wanted to. 'They say the sky's the limit,' she said, 'now you got to prove them wrong and set a higher level of success.' Ah, the words of wisdom of my grandmother. When I get famous, I will be sure to include her as one of the top people who helped me within the way to my success.

But, anyway, back to the matter at hand.

Coming back home.

It feels so strange to be walking around without having my thighs rubbing together, chafing and chafing insistently. And to be able to see my feet when I walk now. What a fascinating sight! I've never actually ever seen my feet - without my stomach being in the way, I mean, of course - and it feels great to finally be able to. I don't have 'moobies' anymore as well, so it works out even better. I dropped from a whopping size of over two hundred pounds to an even lighter, average weight of one-fifty. Can you believe it? Yeah, I can't either. All right, so I'm not like twig-skinny like I was when I was a kid, but I'm getting there. I still have a bit of my chunky side, but it's, like, a cute kind of chunky, I suppose. I actually turned a few heads when my grandmother let me walk around the village in my free time. Both boys and girls. On the plane, too. Some my age, others a little older. It felt weird to have all this attention directed at me. I guess one could say I liked it, I welcomed it, but I didn't get all bigheaded over it. I contained myself. Somewhat. I mean, it wasn't everyday that a former fatty like me got attention as efficiently as such. It made me feel better about myself more and more each day.

And the attention just keeps pouring in. As soon as I step out from the plane and out into the waiting area, I see my family. They still look the same, but they're smiling twice as huge as they await my arrival. My mother looks even more beautiful with her pregnant woman glow. Her belly's grown quite an amount in the two months I was gone, but that didn't mean she wasn't beautiful anymore. My father is practically shaking with joy at having to see me after the two month wait. He's smiling so huge that there might be a possibility that his face splits in two at the action, but I'm only assuming. Now, my brother? Ah, my brother. I never would have expected it, but he had the same stupid-looking grin that my dad had. Only... it looked stranger on him than it did on my dad. On my dad it looked normal because, come on, the man was an optimist. He always had a smile on his face. Whether an uncomfortable one or not. But he always did. Itachi, on the other hand, was a somber man. He never smiled much, so it was the rarest of sights to see him grinning like so. Either way, I appreciated the sheer effort of it all. I don't know if he was really excited that I was finally home, or if he was just mocking our father - I loved the whole thought of it. Intending or not.

But I don't think they recognized me, even as I stood before them. Maybe it was my hair or something - I did get a new hairstyle, after all. I could even bet that my mother would be the first one to recognize me, even if I lost all my hair. There was no way that a mother wouldn't recognize her own child. It was in her blood to memorize all attributes of her own kin, especially if said kin underwent through a series of changes in just two months. She had to recognize me. At least my eyes.

I approached them closer and closer, cautiously, as if my new appearance would shock my mother into early labor. Exaggerating, I know, but it's possible. Its happened before, I'm sure! So, slowly, I stand before them, and set my bag down. I adjust myself briefly before they take notice of me.

"Hello, family." I say, but I say it with caution, so it doesn't come off as creepy. It may not, but I'm sure it must be to them, since they might be believing a stranger is coming up to them as comfortably as I am. They had to know who I was. I wasn't THAT skinny. I still have a few more couple of pounds to shed before I'm considered as such.

For a moment, my family looks at each other, confused. Then, they squinting their eyes at me, trying to place me. At one point, my father turns to my mother and asks, 'Distant relative of yours?' In response, my mother shakes her head, until, finally, Itachi pieces two and two together, and his eyes practically bulge out of their sockets at the brand new and slightly improved me. He gasps first, then he laughs uncomfortably for a while, before trying to form a sentence. And then my parents catch on. Their reactions are the same. My mother can't even comprehend it. My father's in shock. More or likely, he's frozen in the same position. And Itachi, well, Itachi's finally recovering. He laughs and immediately takes me in his arms somewhat forcefully, grabbing onto me as though he had never done so before in his life. He kisses my forehead over and over, all the while, muttering, 'How did you do it? What have you been doing?' My parents soon joined in on it, laughing and grasping and hugging. I laughed as they complimented me on my weight loss, on how they could finally wrap their arms around me, of how slim my wrists were, and how they could finally see a hint of my cheekbones. I laughed at all of their compliments and at their selfishness in getting to hug me separately. Instead, they compromised and they all settled for a group hug. It felt wonderful to be hugged like this. People could finally wrap their arms around me, without ever worrying if their arms will ever meet. Hell, now I didn't have to worry about that myself anymore. They helped me with my bags as we headed out of the airport and into the car.

Unlike the time that they took me to the airport for the first time, two months ago, they chattered at me nonstop, continuously complimenting me, and smiling at me. I could barely contain the excitement and happiness that oozed from me. Every couple of minutes or so, I would say how much I loved them, or how much I missed them. They didn't tire of it. They returned it with just as much exuberance as I had. And it continued as we came into the house, but the excitement slowly started to die down as the time passed by. And the realization of my returning to school in just a couple of days dawned on me. And that of my starting a new year. My final year. The year that counted, out of all the other meaningless years. This year of mine had to mean something to me. I had to make something of myself, in order for it to be the best year ever.

I mean, I'd heard so many stories of how senior years usually went, and I only hoped my senior year would be just as exciting as theirs was. Hell, it was already starting off well. If the attention I was getting out of school was anything, then I could only imagine the attention I would get inside of school. I'm sure it would only double, if the people knew of my past appearance and such. I had some friends amongst the popular crowd - I had Sakura to thank for that - so I knew it would spread like wildfire. It's not like I looked forward to any of the attention, but I just wanted people to see that I was capable of sticking to something all the way through. That I wasn't just some fatass anymore, as people at school constantly called me. I was someone. Someone important, finally. I always was, but now it was clearly marked amongst my destiny. I was destined to be somebody; now no one would put me down as long as I lived. I could only hope, at least.

With my newfound confidence, I only hoped that I would be able to withstand it. If anyone were to put me down, I only hoped I would be able to stand up for myself and fight for myself, instead of letting everyone else fight my fights for me. This year, I was going to be someone, and that someone was going to be the new and improved Sasuke. There would be no telling what I would do. My actions would be so out of the ordinary that, I, myself, can't even figure the whole mystery of it out. But I don't have to worry about that for another couple of days. For now, I have to worry about what is to come at the moment. Or what I could make happen.

As I step into the house, I sense something's different. It looks the same, yes, but the atmosphere... The atmosphere felt very different. My family sensed I wasn't at ease.

"You're wondering what it is that's different around here, right? Why the house seems more open?" My father asked.

"And secure?" My mother added.

I nodded, and looked around. It was cleaner, somehow. Different. It was hardly ever this clean, especially when I was here. Oh, wait. Duh. I've been gone for a couple of months now. Of course it's going to look different. But I bet it's more different now that my parents pointed it out.

"Yeah... What did you guys do around here, or what?" I asked.

To this, my parents both looked at one another, and smiled. Not secret smiles or anything, but huge smiles. Truly happy smiles.

"We baby-proofed the house!" My mother replied, that huge smile adorning her beautiful, glowing face marvelously, as my father signaled all around the house, marveling at the grandeur of our living room like a professional ringmaster. I laughed at the sight. And at my mother's sentence. Not because it was ridiculous, but... Okay, to me, it was sort of ridiculous. In a way. I don't know. I've never really had a younger brother or sister, to worry about such things like baby-proofing, so I didn't know how to deal with this. Except maybe to question it.

"You guys baby-proofed the house? Already? I mean, I get it, but I don't think the baby's going to come walking out of your vagina right then and there, Mom."

"Sasuke! Language!" My mother gasped. I snorted. My dad and Itachi snorted out in laughter. She rounded on them instantly. And they pursed their lips cautiously, a hint of a giggle escaping their lips at my little joke. She turns back to me. "Wherever did you learn that language? I'm sure your grandmother did NOT teach you that."

"Yes, Mom, I know. I apologize, but, back to the matter at hand, please. Baby-proofing. Why so early?"

"Early?" She snorted. "I've got two more months before this baby comes out of me, Sasuke. Better to be prepared now, than to not be prepared at all in the later future." She started to turn on her heel, but then she turned back to face. "Oh, by the way, now that you're here - and before I forget - Sakura called a few minutes ago. She says she wants to spend some time with you before she leaves for college. Her, Ino, and Shikamaru all came by during the time you were gone. So, call her, and let her know you're here, okay?" Then she and my dad left me to my thoughts, while Itachi sat in the couch, staring at me, grinning.

I'd already gotten used to my brother smiling at me like that. I got it. My weight loss. Life-changing. I was already over it. I could breathe properly, yay! Moment over, though.

I had friends!

Friends that still thought about me and cared about me and wondered about me and visited me - of course, I wasnt even here, during that time, but still! - even with all the stress that college was bound to bring to them, they found time in their schedules to come and try to visit me! Wouldn't they be surprised at the new sight they would find of me? Instead of the fat Sasuke, they would find new and improved Sasuke. Not that I wanted to run that in their faces; I just wanted them to see the kind of different person I had turned into over the summer, when I had complained and complained about it, in the time that we hung out during school. Now they could see I stuck to it. Again, not that I wanted to rub it in their faces about it, of course not. I wasn't that kind of person.

Sure, I had the confidence and stuff - not a lot of it to consider me bigheaded or anything, or come off as more than jerk-ish - but I don't think I was there yet, enough for me to be mean about it yet. I trust myself not to turn into that type of person. I was a good person and I wanted to keep it that way.

Anyway!

I had to call Sakura. Like, now. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been calling me this whole time, and I hadn't realized it. Speaking of which, I should probably turn my phone on. I take it out of my pocket and turn it on. Sure enough, I have about fifty or so missed calls over the past two months.

Why, you must be wondering. Well, as you may have already known, my grandmother has a strict policy against using electronic devices in her home. Okay, so she has strict policies for about everything. Hell, she doesn't even have a television in her own home! She didn't even let me go out in the time I spent over at her house, better yet, even to answer my phone. Constantly told me, 'Why use your cellphone when we have perfectly useful house phone? Turn that off!' And so I did, in the time that I was there, of course. It drove my mother crazy, but she understood that my grandmother had not changed over the years at all. Not that she minded it, but she had hoped she would upgrade within the time that I would be spending there. She supposed differently, I guess.

But I'm getting off track again. Calling Sakura. Now! She answers right on the first ring.

"Sasuke! Oh, my gosh! Hi! I missed you so much! Are you home yet? Can we come over? Are you busy? Ino and Shikamaru are here! They're anxious to see you! Bet I miss you more than they do, though, although they beg to differ..." In the distance I heard a distinct, 'But it's true; we miss you more!', to which Sakura cried out against it, giggling. "Anyways, we're coming over! Get yourself all dolled up; we're going out, whether you want to go out or not, okay? All right, bye!"

And then she hung up. Just like that. Didn't even give me a moments' time to greet her hello, or bid her farewell. The conversation was over in less than two minutes. I didn't even get to warn her about my new physique. Wouldn't they all be shocked to find me instead of the Sasuke they had gotten so used to know in the many years of our friendship? And I doubted that if they were to come over that my mother would let them take me away, when I'd only arrived just moments ago. Although, it seemed to me that my mother wouldn't argue much about it. I believe she went to sleep because my dad came right back and gave me a look of relief. A lazy smile complements his features as he rests his head against the head of the couch. I join him. He stays staring at me for a moment. Both him and my brother attention gets to me, makes me paranoid. I look at each of them. They grinning. Well, my father is grinning lazily, but it counts as a full grin either way. I raise my eyebrows at them.

"Okay... What's up? Why are you guys staring at me like that? It's freaking me out..." I murmured cautiously, knowing which way they were going with this conversation.

"It's just fascinating that you lost all that weight." My father says for both him and my brother. My brother just sits and stares, continuously grinning like an idiot my way. I roll my eyes, chuckling, and shake my head incredulously. My father continues. "I can barely seem to think that you're the same Sasuke - my son - I can hardly even recognize you. You're cheeks aren't hiding your eyes when you laugh anymore!" He then proceeds to grab at my cheeks, like a child, cooing at me like he did with both me and Itachi. Like he would the newborn addition in our family. I struggle to pull away. He laughs when I try to. He then grabs at my sides, tickling. I start to giggle uncontrollably. "Even if you lost all that weight, your tickle spot is still just as sensitive as it first was when you were at the weight you were." And he continues to tickle me as though the last couple of pounds on me were just about to slip off with the little exercise that he was giving my abdomen.

"S-Stop, D-Dad! I can't... I c-can't b-breathe! Daddy! S-Stop! Haha! Stop it!" I giggled, in what I assume was the most girliest octave on the planet. Especially when I called my dad, 'Daddy'. I'd never called him like that before. And both he and Itachi noticed.

Ah, crap. That glint in Itachi's eyes. The way he was suddenly rising up off the couch... He wouldn't dare, would he? Him and my dad were gaining in on me. They were just coming to hug me, right? Right?

"'Daddy', Sasuke? Oh, no, I think Grandma made you softer than before. You've never called Dad, 'Daddy'. Oh, man, this is gold! A changed man, my brother has become, indeed!" Itachi snorted.

My dad joined in on the fun, fingers at the ready, poised in exactly the same way my brother's fingers were. So close to my sides. Threatening my life with tickling. Oh, God, no. What had I gotten myself into?

And then they attacked. From all sides. They ran their rough, calloused fingers over my sides, over my stomach, over my neck, over my knees, the back of my knees - everywhere. And I could feel it all. I couldn't stop the giggling from escaping my lips. Which doesn't cause their actions to cease. They continue, but at an even faster pace. And the giggles then turn into snorts, then gasps, then donkey-like laughs, until, finally, soundless bursts of air escape my lips. For a couple of minutes, I withstand the worst form of torture known to mankind, and, honestly, I can't handle it for a second more. I feel as though my lungs might burst, that my abdomen might soon crush into a six pack all by itself, and that I just might run out of tears as well. This tickle session just has me on the brink of running dry. I try to push my brother and my father away fruitlessly. I'm rendered weak, though. I've lost the feeling in my fingers. And, even if I even try to get up, I believe I would fall to the floor like jello. Useless and flabby.

However, the doorbell stunts their actions and hasty movements. My father practically catapults out of the living room to tend to my mother, suddenly all business, in case she woke up to the horrifyingly loud sound. And as for Itachi...? Well, Itachi is a bit more cavalier about the whole situation. He knows Sakura is coming, but he tries to keep his cool. Keyword: tries. Doesn't really come off as such, though, with the way he's trying to adjust his hair and his clothes and his whole demeanor. I look at him strangely, breathless - mind you, I'm still burned out from that workout session I hope never to encounter again - and roll my eyes.

He frowns my way, then struggles to push me towards the door. Not that much anymore, considering the fact that he can do so NOW. If I'm not mistaken, I think I could clearly see -

"A blush? Oh, dear brother, I do believe you've gone soft on me! You've never acted this way before, when other girls came along! Why, Sakura, why now?" I giggle, mocking. He twitches briefly and raises a clawed hand, as though ready to tickle me once more. It doesn't really faze me, mostly because the blush on his cheeks only seems to grow. Which only makes me laugh even harder. He starts to tickle me once more, and, for a minute or so, we forget that the doorbell once rung and is doing so again. Once more, Itachi composes himself. I snort. He glares and jabs at my side sharply, still blushing.

Dang, his elbow is like a fucking knife!

"Shut up, and just open the door."

So, I do. And, for the moment, I forget that I've lost all the weight. I forget everything that's happened in my life because, right here and now - right here in this moment in time, with my friends and their frozen smiles - I know that the remembrance of fat Sasuke still lives on. Especially in their eyes. They're expecting him. They're not expecting me. But, guess what? It doesn't make me sad. In fact, it makes me ecstatic to know that they'll finally see me - almost as the finished product of the final product of myself. It just doesn't seem to click in Sakura, Ino, or Shikamaru's head, though. They stare at me, then at Itachi, shrugging somewhat uncomfortably. Itachi chuckles. I do so, as well, leaning on the doorframe and I cross my arms.

"Don't you recognize your own best friend, guys?" My brother chided, still chuckling. My friends stare at me for a moment, scrutinizing me.

Their reactions are just expected as that of my family. And exactly the same. They're all gaping at me and opening and closing their mouths like fish fresh out of water, stuttering. Well, okay, not exactly the same, but it was right in the ballpark. But it was just exciting and hilarious watching them try to comprehend what it was that just happened in two months. Obviously, this they didn't see coming. Especially Sakura. She was speechless, but she was grinning from ear to ear, giggling and jumping like she just had the best day ever. Then she wraps her arms around my neck, still jumping and giggles right in my ear, muttering words in between her sentences. Then Ino joins in, practically knocking us both over. And, Shikamaru just stands there, still staring at me, unable to believe it. Until, finally - when Ino and Sakura reluctantly pull off from me, still stunned - he reaches out to hug me. Well, more like a manly hug. The kind that guys hug for the briefest of seconds, to receive a manly-ass pound on the back. As manly as it can ever get. Still, he tries, getting over the fact that I'm the homo around here. It doesn't bother him or make him uncomfortable, but he just doesn't understand it, on my part.

"Congrats, man. You look good. Is this where you stop, or do you think you might keep going?" He questioned, as he pulled away from me.

I smiled and nodded, confirming my plans. He grinned, raising his eyebrows in approval. Ino and Sakura giggled, jumping up and down. At one point, Sakura hugged my brother and kissed his cheek. I didn't know why, but I suppose it was the excitement of it all. But, of course, either way, Itachi blushed. I gave him a look. He glared, scowling at me. I snickered.

"It's... Wow. Sasuke, you're, like, super skinny now! Did you shove your finger down your throat or something?" Ino asked, touching at my flab.

"Nah." I laughed.

"Surgery?"

"Where the hell would I get the money to go under the knife?"

"Uhm, laxatives?"

"I think I poop enough, don't you think?"

"Diet pills?"

"Oh, dear God, no. Try guessing the old regimen. You know... Without the risk of dying or dehydrating too much."

"...Exercise?" I nodded. And Ino stared at me incredulously. "No way... Exercise did this? Nuh-uh."

"Yeah, couldn't believe it myself. But it's true."

"You lost ALL this weight...? In just the two months of summer you spent over with your grandmother?" Sakura wondered aloud. "I mean, what in the world did she do to you? Scare half the weight off of you, or what?"

Both Itachi and I snorted in response to this. Mostly because such an assumption as such was only slightly true. Maybe even more than that.

"Yeah, well, if you were to live with her for those two months, my grandmother probably would have scared the weight off of you, too. She is a hard-ass. But, I mean, you never heard that from me." I said, smiling.

It was as though Sakura hadn't heard any of that because she continued to shake her head incredulously at me. Then she pounced on me, embracing me tightly. I 'oof'ed quietly in response, but wrapped my arms around her, nonetheless. Ino then joined in. And, for a couple of minutes, we stayed like that, before being forcibly removed by Shikamaru and Itachi. Gently, towards them, of course. Especially by Itachi towards Sakura.

He blushes again and cursed me out quietly as I laughed at him.

* * *

><p>"Man, college is going to be hard... I just have the strangest feeling in the pit of my stomach." Ino muttered and practically shoves half of her hamburger in her mouth, then she takes a sip of her shake. She turns to Shikamaru, suddenly glaring. "You better not break up with me. There will be serious consequences for you if you're thinking of doing it during the time we're in college." She points her index finger and middle finger at him, in the shape of a 'V', towards him first, then at her eyes, then back at him. "I'm watching you."<p>

Shikamaru snorts at her.

"With the bites you're taking of your burger, I'm having serious doubts." Ino smacks him across the arm harshly. Sakura and I laugh as he flinches helplessly. We can tell she hits pretty hard because he's rubbing his arm, and, of course, making faces of pain at us. "I'm just kidding, babe. Wouldn't even think about it. I'm here for keeps." And he grins - very convincingly, even through the lingering pain in his arm - which makes Ino happy. For now, at least.

"Good." Then she turns to us, shoves a quarter of her burger into her mouth, taking another sip of her shake, and sighs once she's finished with her more-than-animalistic bite of her burger. "Seriously, though... College is going to be hard. I have a cousin who dropped out on the first day - it was THAT hard." Sakura laughed. Ino glared. "What? It's totally true!"

"Your cousin is a lazy fuck! That's why he says it was hard!" Sakura scoffed, laughing. And Ino continued to frown.

"Whatever. I bet you wouldn't last a day in there either."

"I will! Maybe because - I don't know - I'm smarter than your cousin!"

"Bitch!"

All right, knowing these two, this could go on forever, and knowing the way they bickered, and the way their tempers flared against one another, I jumped in before it could get anymore out of hand. Shikamaru knew the deal, too. He was about to speak, but I beat him to the punch.

"All right, girls, enough. You're both pretty." I joked casually, in hopes of easing tension, even though I knew the bickering was just their way of toying around with each other. Their friendly ways, as the girl code went. That was about as much as I knew about the girl code, anyway. Still didn't understand it, as much as I hung out with these girls.

Either way, though, they seemed to calm themselves. Of course, not before sticking their tongues out at each other. I smacked my palm to my face. Really? They were going off to college, yet they still acted as children. Hell, I was more mature than them, and I was younger and, by far, the most immature person I knew. I shook my head, laughing. I steered the conversation in a different direction, though. Well, sort of. It still revolved around college.

"Anyway, what college are you guys going to?" I asked, taking a bite of a fry.

Sheer irony here, I know. Lose all the weight, then go off to a nearby fast food joint like McDonald's to gain all the weight back. Great way to continue the diet back at home, Sasuke. But, no way, I was NOT going back to my original weight. This was just a one time thing. Once I'm finished with this meal, I'm going to go home and I'm going to work the excess fat off. Work my ass off, just like I did at my grandmother's. Work out till I pass out from sheer exhaustion as my punishment.

All right, I'm exaggerating; I wouldn't kill myself so much over one meal. But I don't care about that right now. My friends are what's important at the moment. I hadn't seen them in so long.

"Well, originally, Shika and I were thinking of getting out of here and go to college out of state, since, well, you know, we've got the brains enough to be accepted into any college." She bragged, smiling proudly. I rolled my eyes. Ino noticed. Still, her face didn't fall. She continued smiling proudly. She looked over at Shikamaru, then back at us. "It took a lot of talking and thinking about what choices we had over the certain subjects we were going to major in. Most of the schools had the programs that Shika and I wanted, but they were too far away. And we both want to be able to see our family, without having to spend too much money. But we also want to try living away from parents, experience what it's like to be independent, you know?" Sakura and I both nodded. She signed, before continuing on. "Eventually, we came to our decision. We're just going to go to Sunagakure University. It's only, like, a town over, so it's completely plausible to experience independence like that, right? Baby steps. Sakura and her brother - Naruto, right? - are going there anyway, so we won't be far away, or out of touch. Isn't that great?"

At the mere mention of Naruto's name, I'd lost her. She, just like all the other noises of clattering dishes and utensils and background chatter, faded together into unintelligible sounds. I hadn't thought about him since the first week I was at my grandmother's. I remember crying the first night. Not because I missed him. Sure, I did, but that wasn't the only reason. I was crying because I realized I made the worst and best mistake of my life ever. Worst because he was the nicest guy I'd ever had a relationship with and I had ruined it because of my insecurities, because I was scared, because I loved him. He might have been the ONLY guy to ever have come into my life, but none will ever come close to holding a torch to what kind of guy Naruto was to me. It was also the best mistake of my life ever, mostly because it made me closer to my grandmother than I ever was. I'd never known her true self as much as I knew her now. And, because of my breakup with Naruto, she became my best friend. It might sound stupid to some people that a grandmother could be a grandson's best friend, but it's true. I feel closer to her than anyone else.

In the time that I was with her, helping her, talking to her, and working with her, I found out things I never knew about her. And she found things out about me. Especially of my situation with Naruto. I had told her everything, and she did the same in return. She was there when I cried about my situation. And continued to do so as I tore myself down about it.

She even made me promise not to think about him anymore - to make me even stronger than the person I was - which was very difficult, considering the topic of the conversation this was leading to, and what I wanted to say, what I wanted to ask. I couldn't keep it in any longer. I wanted to know whether Naruto was fine or not, in the time that I wasn't here. He probably was, he probably wasn't - I didn't know anything. As much as I wanted to know, my conscience told me that it was a bad idea.

What could one simple question do? Ease my curiosity, right? If I only found out one thing about Naruto, then it would calm my senses. Not that Naruto mattered to me anymore - it was completely normal to know how an ex was doing, even after the breakup. Of course, I had to be inconspicuous about it, since Sakura, Ino, or Shikamaru knew nothing of my whole personal life altogether, except that I had lost a substantial amount of weight, but that was it. That was all anyone would ever know about me. Talking about personal things would never be comforting to me.

I had to be really casual about the way I approached this subject of Naruto.

"Uhm, so, Sakura, what about your brother? There was just that one time I met him. He was nice... How is he?" That was casual enough to throw off suspicion of anything that went on between us, right? I really hoped so. And I would think that my casual overthrow worked out well, because no one seemed to catch on to my eagerness. Thank God.

But I could tell this made Sakura uncomfortable. This made me uneasy now. What had happened to him? Why was she quiet all of a sudden? She had to talk now. I wasn't feeling very good about this. The reason as to why Sakura could have been acting like that was maybe because of me. Because Naruto was depressed, I bet. All because of me. My own goddamn fault, right? But, no, I couldn't just make assumptions like that. Not everything was about me, not everything was my fault. It was probably something else entirely that caused Sakura to act this way on behalf of Naruto.

I stared, waiting, measuring her expression altogether. And she finally spoke, after a moment of silence.

"W-Well, I wouldn't exactly know... He left weeks ago to go back home with his mom." He did? How come he didn't... Oh, right. Broken up. There was more, though. She bit her lip. Oh, the next part was going to be bad. "He did have a breakdown, though. I mean, he had been depressed for the past couple of weeks that he had left. And then he just... Broke down. He looked like he hadn't seen the sun in a while, or talked to anyone. I didn't know what was wrong with him. And I wanted to help him, help him go outside or something, hang out with him or something. We haven't talked much. For some reason, when he was staying over at the house, we never really saw much of him. He was always out, or he would just stay in his room."

She was so close. So close to finding out the truth behind it all. It was all my fault. But, no! I wasn't going to depress myself, or cry about it. I had to be strong. Stay strong. I could do it - I was the changed Sasuke, after all, right? Hell, yes, I was!

"Did you ever stop to think, Sakura, that maybe - just maybe - Naruto probably had a girlfriend in the time that he was staying over at your house? That's maybe because he was depressed and was always in his room." Ino suggested, raising her eyebrows.

Sakura frowned. My heart raced. It shouldn't have been doing so. I didn't have to be panicking. They mentioned a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. I had nothing to fear. Right? I was safe. Naruto was safe. Sakura still didn't know he was... Well, the way he was. Nothing to worry about.

"Or a boyfriend." Shikamaru snorted. I knew he was joking, but, still, I panicked. I didn't have to be. I wasn't supposed to be caring. I had to pull away from the thought of Naruto. Yet I couldn't help but be worried of him.

"Naruto would tell me if he had a girlfriend." Sakura muttered, almost childishly. "And I don't think he'd be the type of guy to have a boyfriend. Besides, Sasuke would know before us. He has a built in gaydar, right, buddy?"

It didn't bother me all that much that she believed that. It just made me uneasy that Shikamaru had suggested it. After all, he was the genius, out of all of us. I think he knew about him, at some point. He couldn't, right? Not that it bothered me, or anything. It just... Felt strange. I had to let Naruto know, at least. Just to keep him on his toes about the whole situation. There was probably a slight chance that nobody knew - except maybe the people that saw Naruto and I together, but they didn't count; we didn't know those people - but I had to be safe, and I had to let him know, just in case. I didn't miss him or anything! I just want him to... Well, you get the point already.

"Yeah, sure. I got nothing gay from him. Nothing at all. I got to go pee. I'll be right back." I murmured, and, before they could ask any more questions, I slipped out of the booth, and rushed into the bathroom, slipping my cell phone out of my pocket.

I expected there to be a text from him, or something. Like if he would be able to sense what was going on. I would have liked that, instead of having me to do it on my own. That would make me come off as desperate, and I didn't want to be like that. Maybe he didn't want to come off as such because that would just cause him utter embarrassment if he texted me. Except... The breakup. I broke his heart. I doubted that he would ever be texting me now, and I bet that he wouldn't ever like to. I doubted he wouldn't like to know anything about me, or if he would ever would like me to text him. Especially now. I bet his life was going smoothly. Not that mine wasn't - it completely was. Maybe it was because I missed him, or maybe because I wanted to see just how miserable his life was, compared my own magnificent one.

...That was very cold bitch of me. I wasn't like that. It could have just been that of my confidence, or maybe that's just how I really was. Okay, no. I can't do it. I can't let myself act like this. This was Naruto. Why did I still have his number on my phone? Shouldn't I delete it? To relieve the temptation he was giving me? I had to delete it now. And I had to stop thinking of him now. I'd never be able to get over him if traces of him were scattered over my lifestyle. He had to be erased completely out of my life, as though he never existed. This wasn't being rude at all. This was a means of becoming stronger.

As the saying goes, 'If you really love something, let it go', and that's exactly what I proposed to do. I was going to let Naruto go. If I had originally promised myself I wasn't going to think about him, speak about him, ask about him, text him, wonder at all about him, or, by any means, ever let my life be affected by him anymore in the smallest of ways, then I was going to stick to it. It would hurt to repress a beautiful memory, the first ever memory, of the first person to ever to come into my life, solely to love me - yeah, that just hits home, doesn't it? - I would force it out of my mind. In all reality, yes, it did hurt me to be doing such a thing - it was never a good thing to ignore matters of the heart - but it had to be done. If I ever wanted to be someone strong, who wasn't a crybaby, or overly sensitive about certain stupid things, then I would be that person, from then on and until the day I died. Or, you know, something less exaggerating, right?

So, I did what any angry ex would do - except, yeah, I'm not mad, just willing enough to change into a better person - and I deleted Naruto's number without a second thought. I just hoped it would make me stronger than ever. For now, though, a real smile was all I could muster at the moment. That counted as stronger, right? Being able to smile sanely as soon as you delete your ex's number? It might make you look insane to smile at your own reflection in the bathroom, you know, of people walk in on you doing that, but it just makes me stronger and better.

Finally.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yes, I know, very short, very boring, very... blah. Nothing interesting. La-dee-da. Mostly just a filler, not exciting shit, I know, but, hey! I updated! :D

Ah, well, review, if you'd like! Reviews help me get out an update faster, you know? I'm just saying. ;D

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	13. Positive, Positive, Positive

**A/N: **Chapter galore! :D Hope you like, friends!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>You know that feeling you get when you first come back to school after a whole summer of not seeing any of your friends? All right, well, you know that same paranoid feeling you get when you feel that someone's watching you when you're walking down a hallway, trying to find someone you know? Hell, anywhere? How about when you're sitting by yourself? How about when people are actually looking at you and you can't figure out whether they're judging you or checking you out, so you try to distinguish which is which by looking out the corner of your eye? Or how about when people - complete strangers, actually - come to sit by you and try to strike up a conversation with you? Especially if they're girls? And they're flirting with you nonstop? And you try to find it in your heart to flirt back, at least to save them the embarrassment of telling them that you don't roll that way? But it's hard.<p>

I would have hoped that on the first day back to school, my morning would be normal, that I wouldn't have to worry about anything, or anyone, for now. Maybe only the teachers and my friends, but that's it. I wouldn't have ever imagined that I would attract so much attention so quickly on the first day. I imagined it would take some time for the effect of my losing weight to change the aspect of the way people approached me nowadays. I mean, I would hardly think that I was, in the least, attractive enough for people to suddenly approach me like so. Still got a few more pounds to go before I'm considered as someone remotely attractive - I still had my baby fat. I'm not complaining. Just pointing it out. It's strange to have all this attention.

So far, for the first four periods, I've been getting a lot of stares and questionings of whether I'm new around here or not. I just shake my head and walk away. I'm not being rude when I do that, but I just feel that if they didn't know who I was when I was fat, then they have no right to know me when I'm skinny. Okay, so maybe it is a little rude, but it's offensive to me if you don't know who I am after four years. I know, I know, I've gone through a big change, most people don't recognize me, and all that stuff, I know. However, the thing is, I don't want to meet anyone new this year - as strange as it sounds, I believe I'm going to try to make the best of my senior year with passing grades and much less of a social life than I began with. Only, of course, with the friends I have now. It sounds crazy to be antisocial when I just went through the most exhilarating and beautiful change known to anyone - how was I just going to pass up all the free friends I could be making right now, you could be asking?

Well, I just don't want to get too involved in a friendship or anything because, come on, sooner or later, we're all bound to split and leave for college, then, after that, we'll never see each other ever again, until, you know, a miracle along the road comes by. Ten to twenty years from now, maybe. I wanted to have everlasting friendships, like I did with Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru. Sure, I'd only been friends with Ino and Shikamaru since the beginning of high school compared to Sakura who I've been inseparable with. Practically since birth. But still! Everlasting friendships that lasted throughout the four years of high school and continuing on since then counted even more and made all the difference in the world.

...I was just weird, wasn't I? Not wanting to make friends this year? Senior year was practically based on making friends! Shit, many months before school ended, I promised myself - Ino, Shikamaru, and Sakura are sole witnesses of this - that I was going to make my year the best ever. And that meant to make new friends. No matter what. Well, that, and coming out of my shell. My brand new, sort of skinny shell. Right? Right. Good. That doesn't mean I have to start right now, though? Nah, not right now.

But right now is the perfect time. It's lunchtime! There are craploads of people around here that I could befriend. There was that group over there sitting by the cafeteria doors - they looked nice. They weren't too mean-looking, and they were normal-looking. Not that, you know, weird people bothered me, no!

There were a couple of weird - I mean, pleasing-looking - group of seniors on my right side. Playing Pokémon cards and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, of course, and yelling out Skyrim quotes, but I'm sure they had potential. No judgement or anything...

Or maybe that trio of girls over there! They looked like the type of girls I would hang out with. I could go and talk to them... How exactly would I start a conversation, though? I couldn't just go up to them and go all elementary kid on them and ask, 'Wanna be my friend?' No, I needed a more direct, mature, and non-creepy way to approach these three girls. Sure, it was creepy enough that I was staring their way. Hell, they were even staring back. Oh, crap, yeah, better look away, don't want to give them the wrong idea.

Brush it off, Sasuke, brush it off. They probably didn't even notice. They probably don't even care. They probably just -

"Hey, is anyone sitting here?"

That wasn't them, right? Please, please, please, don't let it be those girls. They'll probably try to flirt with me. They probably even wouldn't! God, I'm stupid to think they would! Maybe they just wanted to make friends is all. Gah, what the hell am I doing? Someone's talking to me. Better answer, or they're going to think I'm retarded.

I look up, and I'm thoroughly stunned to find a guy standing right beside my table. Not just any guy, though - this guy has piercings. Six piercings on the sides of his his nose, two on his chin, and a bunch of piercings on both his ears. Like a walking metal piece of art.

Not that hard to miss among a crowd, of one were to look for him. Especially with the kind of hair he has. Bright orange. Not like neon orange, or ginger hair, maybe just a little darker than such. A closer shade to red than to orange. And then his eyes. They were gray - too gray. Like silver. I'd never seen eyes as gray as his. It felt weird to look directly into them.

Now, about his clothes... He didn't exactly dress like the goth type, but he sure had a certain aspect about it going on. He had the chains hanging from his black shorts, and they probably were two sizes too big, so that was one clue as to that of a goth personality or attitude. I mean, he didn't wear makeup or painted his nails black - as far as I knew from a single glance at his hands - so he was in the clear. Even more now that I checked out his shoes. He didn't wear huge combat boots like goth kids did. He was rocking Vans. Now, about his shirt, I wasn't so sure about. It could probably be a shirt of his favorite band, or maybe it was just a shirt with a robot decapitating a human's head on it, but it seemed goth-y-like. Or something. I tore my eyes away from the strange shirt to look back at him, suddenly wondering what he was doing still standing before me.

Oh, right. He wants to sit with me. I got to make sure if that's his choice, just in case. Don't want to look stupid if he isn't talking to me, and he's asking someone else behind me, or something. I look all around me, then back at him, pointing to me, then at me.

"You're talking to me?" He nods. "You want to sit here? With me? You sure?" What an idiot, Sasuke! You're trying to make friends, not making them think you're stupid! Or standoffish!But he laughs, as though that of my stupid questions is completely normal. Huh, he's got a nice laugh. Definitely not goth-y-like at all.

"Yeah, I know, it's weird. Having a stranger come up to you on the first day, but everywhere else is full. And you look like you need companionship. Unless I misinterpreted...?" He seems to take a step back, as though ready to leave were I to deny him a seat across from me in my booth.

I would not do such a thing! I promised myself to make friends! Especially with different types of unique people I have yet to encounter in this life. I had to take chances, right? Right. So he could sit with me. After all, he didn't misinterpret the part about me needing companionship. Hit the spot dead on.

"Sure, go ahead and take a seat. Sorry about the questioning. It IS weird having a complete stranger come up to your table and ask if they can sit with you. First time it has ever happened to me." I say, while kicking my backpack across from me on the booth down onto the floor to make room for him.

He settles in, placing his styrofoam tray and milk on the table.

"Thanks. And, by the way, we're not strangers anymore. I'm Pein." He sticks out his hand toward me, greeting me formally, grinning. I take it and shake it slightly. Not that I mean to notice or anything, but for a brute-looking kid like this guy, he's got pretty soft hands.

"I'm Sasuke." I reply, and am about to start back on my crappy cafeteria meal, until...

"Sasuke? Huh, so you're the kid I've been hearing about around here."

...What? Heard about me? Just exactly how many people knew me? Why did people know who I was already? What did he even hear about me? Was it good? Was it bad? What did I do? Did I do anything stupid in class? Without my noticing it? Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God... Okay, okay, okay, Sasuke, calm down. It's probably nothing. He's probably even kidding, why would he joke about something like that? We just met!

Okay, okay, chill, Sasuke. Nothing's wrong, you're fine. It's nothing. Keep calm, keep cool. Nothing to worry about. It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's nothing, it's nothing. Don't let him see you panic. You're okay. Nothing's going on. Show him you're fine. Take a bite of your sandwich, a sip of your milk, and breathe.

I did. It didn't help. I ended up... Well, choking a little bit. I probably shouldn't have taken a bit of my sandwich, a sip of my milk, and a breath all in one take. I'll tell you, though, it burns like hell. Pein actually panicked for a while as I tried to compose myself. By taking another sip of my milk, another bite of my sandwich, and another breath. This time, separately. Didn't want to look like a moron again. That was embarrassing enough.

"You all right?" He asked me, suddenly concerned, his hands poised at the ready, as though ready to sock me in the back to keep me from choking again. I nod, but I'm not all sure. I'm not sure what to make of the fact that people are already talking about me. I hardly even knew anyone. The only one person who I really talked to around here was Hinata, but I haven't seen her at all today. I wonder if she had this lunch. Unless she moved in the summer...? Nah, she wouldn't. She would have texted me. She has my number. Where is she, anyway? "You sure you're all right?" I nod once more. Now that I pulled myself together - and I wasn't choking on bread, or milk, or my saliva - now I could ask questions. I had to pace myself, though. He probably knew as much as I did. Probably was even new around here.

"What do you mean you've heard about me? What have people been saying?" I ask, and I listen to my words. I sound desperate. I didn't want to come off as such. "I mean, not that it bothers me, or anything. It's just... First day of school... New information around here..." That it was.

He nods.

"Got it." Then he shrugs, taking a sip of his milk. "I don't know if it's you they're talking about, though. I might have heard wrong. There are probably more guys around here with your name. Are you new here?"

I frown.

"No, I've been going to this school since I was a freshman. And I assure you I'm the only one. Are you new here?"

He snorts, but he's careful not to choke on his food as I stupidly did.

"Nah. Been going to the same school here since I was an itty bitty freshman, too." He suddenly frowns. "Huh. Strange how I haven't seen you around before."

Was he going to tell me why people were talking about me? I was very curious to know...

"I'm sure you've seen me around here before. I'm just very well... Hidden. But what do these people say about me? What have they told you?"

"Not that it bothers you or anything, right?" He challenges me, grinning.

I chuckle, nodding, confirming.

"Not that it bothers me."

He shrugs, and now takes a bite of his sandwich, leaning towards me.

"Well, I keep hearing this rumor about you that you've gone through a big change. And, you know, me, I'm not at all into the gossip, but it caught my attention. Like, what kind of change are they talking about? Or is it too personal to talk about?" He raises his eyebrows at me, and, at the end of his sentence, at the end of his words, I instantly relax.

A relieved laugh escapes my lips. Here I thought that I had done something horrible that I hadn't known about it myself, yet the whole school had known about before me. But it just turns out they were talking about me losing weight. For a moment, I had forgotten about that. I had actually thought I'd done something horribly wrong without my knowing. I was stupid to think that. However, it was strange to think that people knew about me. Especially even before I had lost all this weight. And people still seemed to recognize who I was, despite the lack of weight on my body now. Guess I had Sakura to thank for my newfound fame. She always did hang out with the popular crowd, and I always did traipse after her like some lost puppy. Oh, those were the days - that was the way I would go about in making friends sometimes. Have her make some for me, then jump in for the kill, and claim them as mine. As depressing as it sounded, sometimes it worked, at other times, well... Not so much.

But, anyway!

Not that I was the main bitch everyone would obsess about, I still felt as though I were the hot news for this week. Maybe from then on. Ah, damn it! I was getting all big-headed over this. This probably would all blow over by tomorrow. No one would remember my name by the end of this week anymore. It didn't bother me, of course. It's nice not to be on the radar of some people's lives sometimes. Hell, I was never on someone's radar enough to be considered the hot gossip of our school. It felt cool, actually. I felt cool. I knew I wasn't, but I could, at least, try to aim for the gold now, right? I never did, so I guess now was the time to do so. Now, believe me, I'm not putting myself down - I know it's the truth that I'm not exactly 'Plastics' material, but, if I worked hard enough, I could work my way up to the top and keep myself there. Not just for one minute, or one hour, or one day, but for the rest of my senior year. I could be someone.

However, that was not something I needed to worry about. For now, I had to focus on the supposedly big change I had gone through. This guy had a right to know, right? It wasn't as though losing weight was much of a personal thing. Well, maybe it was to other people, but not to me. It wasn't bad that I lost most of my weight, so I didn't feel guilty about telling him - a complete stranger - about my 'personal' change.

"It's not really a personal thing to talk about - a change - but more of an improvement of various aspects of myself. You see... I used to be really fat. So, you can imagine how bad my social awkwardness still is." I say, and, for a moment, I could see shock reflected in his silver eyes. He points at me, as he pulls the carton of milk from his lips. The straw stays stuck in between his lips.

"You... you used to be fat...? No way. I never would have guessed..." He suddenly chuckles, pulling the straw from his lips, then pokes at his teeth, leaning back on the booth seat, taking it all in. Then he leans back in towards me, observing me. I have to lean away, mostly because I'm not used to such closeness. Especially from someone who was a complete stranger who I had only met just moments ago. Until, finally, he pulls away, chuckling once more. He shrugs. "I just... I don't see it. This looks like this is the original prototype - sorry, aspect; been playing too many robot video games - of what makes you, well, you. As for the social awkwardness, I can hardly believe you have any of it. You're at a very normal social status, compared to any single one of my friends. They can't stand being stared at, much less be spoken to."

"I can't either." I argue. Almost childishly. He laughs.

"Oh, no, but not like them - they can't deal with it. It stresses them the fuck out - excuse my french - and, when I mean it stresses them, it stresses them out like cuh-razy. When they're being stared at, or they are spoken to, they get all tongue-tied, and try to speak, but they just end up feeling idiotic for trying to do so at all. Eventually, they escape the situation. So, Sasuke, my friend, you are not socially awkward. Were you as such, you'd be embarrassed as hell, and you would probably be running out those doors right this minute for me even trying to call you out on it." He jabbed a thumb behind him, pointing to the cafeteria doors.

"...I kind of feel like doing that now." I confessed.

"I bet you do." He laughs. "You're fine, though. No social awkwardness coming from you whatsoever. In the clear! Safe!"

Now it's my turn to laugh. Not just any laugh. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, but a laugh. A real laugh. A hearty laugh. The first real laugh on my first day back to school. And I thought I would be serious the whole day. Yet I wasn't. Not with Pein, at least. He had the greatest potentiality of being my best friend for this year - and I hoped, for the rest of my life, as well - but I wasn't going to ask him to be my best friend. That would be beyond being socially awkward. That would just be plain stupid and completely childlike of me. Totally out of character.

I looked stupid anyway, what with my laughing like an idiot at something that probably wasn't even funny anymore. It was just in the moment. Or maybe I was laughing because I didn't want there to be any awkward silence, but I'm sure one would follow, were I to stop laughing. I didn't want to stop laughing, I couldn't stop laughing. Tears were coming out of my eyes, and I felt myself laughing harder. I must have looked like some sort of lunatic.

I could see the blurry figure of Pein watching me, smiling. A blurry smile, but still a smile. Why hadn't he left? Wasn't he creeped out by my maniacal, unnecessary laughter? Unless he was crazy himself...? I wouldn't doubt it for a moment. The crazy robot decapitating the human's head on Pein's shirt leered at me from the other side of the table. Blurry, but still leering. However, it didn't still my laughter. He could leave, if he wanted to escape the embarrassment of sitting at the same table with a crazy person, to save face. It was so easy. Just get up from the seat and leave me alone. What's so hard about doing that?

Okay, okay, I had to stop. Right now. But not abruptly, because that would just freak him the fuck out. Don't want to scare off this potential best friend of mine. Riiiiiiiight now. Slowly, though. Don't let the laughter die out all the way. Lower the volume of the laugh a couple of octaves. Almost there. A couple of chuckles, a giggle, aaaaaaand a last snort. Okay, that last one didn't count. I didn't mean for it to come out. At least... not like a snort. Damn it! I'm just making myself look more and more like a moron.

I wipe away at the tears that had formed in my fit of laughter. Pein is watching me. Those silver eyes are studying me. Are they judging me?

All right, no, Sasuke, don't think that way. Positive. Think. Positive. And I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to be focused on what people think of me, but of what I think of myself. I'm my own worst critic. Okay, I'm okay now. Sort of. Am I blushing? Shit, I am. Can't let him see.

I struggle to cover my cheeks with my fists. It doesn't work. Pein starts chuckling.

"That doesn't help. You're turning redder." He murmurs.

Why MUST he point it out? I try to cover my face. All to no avail. And he finally starts laughing. Not at me, I reassure myself, not at me. With me, with me, with me. Can't think like the world's out to get you, Sasuke. Laugh along.

I start giggling once more, and I make sure that I don't have a laugh attack like I did a few moments ago. I hold back. A few giggles here are thrown. Chuckles, too, but mostly giggles, despite the fact of how girly it sounds. And, slowly, I can feel the burning in cheeks ebb away, the throbbing of my ears fade away, and the awkwardness that is in me dissipates.

For the rest of lunchtime - which is only, like, ten minutes - Pein and I talk. What about? I don't really know. One moment we're talking about one thing, the next moment, we're talking about another. And, honestly, most of the topics don't even make sense. Mostly we just speak of random shit, but, other than that, I've learned a few aspects of him and his personality, and that of his hobbies too. I've learned he doesn't take shit from anyone, so that means he's a VERY honest, VERY blunt person, no matter what the case is. He's funny, he's crazy - in a safe way, not the maniacal, serial killer way - and incredibly talented. He knows how to play the guitar, cello, piano, and drums. And, in his free time, he writes. Not just stories, but everyday memoirs of his everyday life, poetry, lyrics to songs he might hope to one day play for his future audience.

Then the bell rang, and our conversation was over. Just like that. Obviously we were both disappointed, mostly because I wanted to know more of him, and because he didn't know anything of me. Just when I was about to paraphrase my whole life to him, that stupid bell had to just ruin everything. Not that I didn't mind it or anything. Oh, wait, of course I did.

"Agh, class. I don't even want to go." Pein groaned, running his hands over his face, seriously bothered by the whole idea of having to sit through two more periods. He looked around at the suddenly emptying cafeteria, completely deaf to the securities calling out students - and him - and ordering them to class. "Fuck it, I'm skipping. Want to come?"

Skipping? Already? On the FIRST day? I couldn't. What if they called my parents? What if we got caught? What sort of excuse would I try to cover up with? I couldn't save face with anything remotely safe. I wasn't about to do that, but... It wasn't as though I was missing anything important in the classes. It was always mostly just introductions between the whole class and the teachers, then there was a discussion about the syllabus and what to expect of the class, and what to expect when you miss a certain amount of days of class. You know, just the usual boring stuff, so, I don't know... I probably shouldn't do anything too stupid this year. I don't think I could afford doing anything stupid like skipping. But, I mean, it is my last year, and I did have, more or less, perfect grades throughout the three years of my being here. Sure, they weren't all A's, but I think I have a pretty respectful GPA. And I passed all my exams, so this should be my nothing year. The year I do absolutely nothing of work. If anything, I think I deserve to skip. Just to get it out of my system, right? Try everything once, my grandmother told me. And I think that is a fabulous rule. My grandmother is a smart woman, so if I were to skip, it would be all her fault because she told me to try everything once. Wise words of a wise woman. I was such a bad person for blaming my grandmother for my stupid mistakes...

"I don't know, Pein. I don't think it's a good idea. I don't want to miss class. And I don't want to run the risk of getting caught and get thrown into detention..." I sounded like such a pussy. Why couldn't I just let loose and do it?

"Oh, come on, you already know what's going in class. So, don't think you're missing out on anything. And, look, you won't get caught. I know where the securities survey the areas. I got my special skipping spot, too. You're going to be hanging out with a pro here. There's no way you'll get detention as long as you follow my lead." He says to me, and, looking deep in those strangely silver eyes, I don't think I can trust myself. What if things went wrong? What if his special skipping spot wasn't so special anymore? I couldn't risk that. What if - "Trust me." Oh, trust, if only I could, then we would have already been halfway across the cafeteria, and heading out those doors to my freedom.

Damn, why couldn't I do it? Why was I such a pussy? I had to do it. If I wanted the best senior year ever, then I had to do it. And, like I said, this was the year of doing absolutely no work. The classes I had were just fillers, so I had every right to do as I pleased. Although, not everything. Ultimately, I decided that, well, I only lived once. I had to do it. Break the rules once, a few times, all the time - I couldn't escape the way life was. I couldn't escape the temptation that life threw my way. Agh, I wanted to so bad! Except that my conscience and every bit of my fiber being just wouldn't let me. I couldn't just let myself succumb to the temptation of life. I was such a fucking pussy.

"I can't. I'd really like to, but it's just too risky. And I've only just met you. I don't know what you're intentions are. I don't mean to make you sound dangerous or anything, but, peer pressure, you know? It gets to you." I mutter, and he understands. He shrugs, as though expecting it. He's not going to force me. Not like I thought he was - he wasn't, but no one ever really knew what to expect from someone nowadays.

"Nah, don't worry. I understand. However, you got to promise me something..." He stares into my eyes too deeply, too intensely for my liking. I'm almost certain that he's going to ask an impossible favor of me. What could he possibly ask of me? "That we'll meet here everyday, same time, same table, same lunch. Got it?"

He was making me promise. This was like time-traveling back into my childhood. I hadn't made a promise since elementary. All that was missing was a pinky promise to make the process of making such a promise complete.

I nod, and, without even thinking, I hold out my pinky to him. I don't know why I think of doing it, or why I'm even doing it in the first place - it's so childish, and I'm sure he's not expecting it - but he takes my pinky, nonetheless, and intertwines it with his. Just before he leaves, he grins. And then he's off.

* * *

><p>When I arrive to my last class of the day - Government class; ew, I know - I'm thoroughly exhausted. How could I have gone through each and every other day like this for three whole years? I will never know.<p>

Considering how tired I'm feeling, I decide to opt for sitting all the way in the back of the classroom, hidden from the teacher's view. I rest my head on the desk. Class hasn't started yet, so I have a few minutes to myself to reenergize. But the moment is gone too quickly as the students start trickling in. Slowly, some students sit to the right of me. Then to the left. Then in front of me. And my moment is ruined. I pick my head up, even more tired than ever. The teacher is standing at the front of the classroom. She's looking at all the students, sizing them up and down, trying to distinguish which students might be troublemakers, and just which students might be her favorites. I can tell right away that she has me distributed amongst one of her favorites - it's completely obvious because I'm basically the only one not talking to my classmates. She smiles at me. I smile back. I don't want to, but I'm sure she needs it, after a long day - and a whole other year to look forward to as well - of dealing with students as talkative as these people in here.

Sure, it doesn't really bother me that she has chosen me to be one of her favorites, immediately judging me by my personality - it just seems too predictable. For all we know, I could be exactly like all my other classmates, all talkative and loud and stuff. Except... I don't know anyone. So, even I didn't know how I would act if I knew people in here. Normally, I was a quiet person.

The bell rings, which signals the beginning of class. The teacher walks over to the door and shuts it. She heads over to the board and begins to write her name. The talking hasn't ceased. It's as though no one really even heard the bell. I look around the classroom to see if anyone is paying as much attention as I am to the teacher's actions as deeply as I am, and I am slightly surprised to find the same trio of girls from the cafeteria sitting right across from me. And, yes, they are paying attention to the teacher. They aren't talking to one another, which is strange, considering how fast they ran their mouths in the cafeteria. When I was looking at them, at least.

And, now that I'm looking at them from a closer range of view, I can't seem to tear my eyes away. Not because I'm attracted to them - I'm still clearly gay - but because they're fascinating to look at. Well, I mean, yeah, I'll admit they are very attractive. As gay as I am, I can still find it in me to compliment girls on their appearances, despite how much of a hassle it is to do so, even more when they try to deny it.

"All right, class, settle down, settle down. Stop talking, please. Shh." The way the teacher spoke was so quiet, so shy, if anything, as though speaking in a seemingly loud voice could startle her. I never would have gotten that vibe from her - she seemed like a blowing-her-shit-up type of teacher. You know what I'm talking about, right? The type of teachers whose screws are so loose that they blow a fuse over every simple little thing.

But she isn't at all like that. Very quiet. And very respectably dressed. A brown pencil skirt and a white button down blouse. She has her hair up in a bun, two strands of her curly hair fall against her cheeks. I guess that should have been a big clue as to the way her personality was.

The class doesn't quite settle down altogether, but I hear 'shh's!' coming from all around the room, and, slowly, the noise and conversations cease. The teacher smiles in response to this. She points to the board.

"Hello, students. I'm Ms. Inuzuka. I will be your Government teacher this year. I know, I know, learning about about government and all that is a hassle, I get it. But, trust me, I will try to make it as fun as possible. First on our list, however, are introductions. What is your name? What are your hobbies? What are your likes? Your dislikes? You know the drill. I will not make you stand before the class and introduce yourself - I don't want to force you, since I know there are some shy people in here; remember, this will be the only time I will allow you to be shy - but I will make you introduce yourself to the rest of the class. On your own. That's all I want you to do for the rest of the class time. Now, go." And, just like before, the conversations resume.

That was it? Wow... I could already tell that this class was going to be my favorite out of all my other classes. Now I just needed to introduce myself. But to who? Everyone was already talking to someone, and I didn't want to barge in on their conversations like a puppy begging for attention. But I couldn't wait for them to come to me, either. I had to take action! Now!

The girls. What about the girls? I'm sure they wouldn't mind me coming into their conversation, right? But what the hell would I say? No, duh, introductions. Damn, Sasuke, you're dumb.

I get up from my seat and start to head where the girls are seated and engrossed in their conversation.

I almost rush back to my chair when they slowly start to notice my approach.

First to notice me is the girl with the red hair and chocolate brown eyes so dark that I could easily mistake them for black. She looked like a girl I wouldn't want to mess with, especially with the clothes she wore. It was almost the same style as Pein's clothes, but, of course, with the feminine touch, and a little touch of badassery as well. She also has a ton of bracelets on both her wrists. Plastic and expensive and Silly Bandz, too! I liked those. Therefore, I already liked her. Sort of. I had to get to know her first. I wasn't sure if she liked me, though. She was scowling at me.

The second girl to notice me has blonde hair and pale lavender eyes, eyes almost alike to that of Hinata's. I immediately assume they're related, so, of course, I get a good vibe from this girl. Unlike her other rebel-y-looking friend, she's actually smiling at me. The way she dresses, of course, adds to the effect. She has a girly sense of fashion. White pants and a bright yellow blouse with flowers designed onto it. Unlike the other girl, she isn't wearing a shitload of bracelets. However, she does a have a necklace of a silver crown adorning her neck.

As for the last girl, I'm basically shitting my pants over her. I've never encountered a girl to actually cause a feeling of fear to occur in the pit of my stomach. Any girl with a strong enough personality and vibe to ward me off as easily as she could terrified me. It was as though she dominated the air. She had the eyes of a predator. Bright green. And her hair was gorgeous. Blonde, but so incredibly blonde, it took on a white color. Maybe that's why she scared me. Because she looked like she just walked out of modeling agency. Especially with the highly fashionable clothes she wore. Clearly, she took on the role for ruling over these girls I assumed were her friends - and overpowering them, as well - which almost scared me enough to go running back to my seat. However, the initial shock of taking this all in stunted me from moving. I was afraid that if I moved, this very girl would rip me to shreds. Not literally, but figuratively. With words. For what and why? I wouldn't know. But I'm very sure her tongue is as sharp as her fashion sense. I'm also incredibly sure she has an insult for me just waiting to get out. I just needed to give her the go. How? Well, how else? By talking, obviously.

Which I needed to do right about now. I needed to state my name, my purpose as to why I stood before them, and I needed a good reason for that purpose as well. I felt like a caged animal. I couldn't escape their stares, much less, this situation. Panic, panic, panic. It was settling in, and I was sure it would stay there for as long as this silence went on. I had to say something. Anything! Right now!

"...Uh, hi." That was a good start, right? A simple 'hi', nothing too creepy. Just simple. It was all good. I was making progress. For now, at least.

"Hello!" The girl with blonde hair - the one I had a good vibe about - greeted me. She had a cheerful voice and a very bubbly personality. She smiled at me, practically blinding me with her too pearly whites. She shook my hand. Strong grip, too. Never would have guessed such a girl would be a strong woman. I felt so emasculated. "What's your name?" But she was nice, so it made up for it. Thank God for friendly blondes!

"Uh, Sasuke. Hello." I nodded to the other girls as for an affirmative greeting, or assuring them that I wasn't a creeper. Just a friendly gay guy. They were still looking at me like I was some sort of weirdo. I didn't blame them. I mean, they HAD caught me staring at them at lunch, so...

"I'm Shion. This is Tayuya..." She pointed to the redhead. She glowered at her friend. Then directed it towards me. I nodded timidly her way and smiled slightly, hoping to waver those drilling eyes of hers. It didn't. "And this is Kagura." She pointed to the white-headed blonde. I swallowed.

Bad idea to look directly in her eyes. If looks could kill... I shuddered at the thought.

Tayuya suddenly jabbed Shion at her side. She 'eep'ed painfully, then gave her a look.

"What did I do?" She whimpered, trying to soothe at her side.

"You're not supposed to talk anymore, after that little incident, remember? You say stupid things!" Tayuya hissed harshly.

"But I didn't say anything stupid this time! I was only doing what Ms. Inuzuka was asking of us! Introducing ourselves. I don't want to get a bad grade because I wasn't doing what she asked of us..." Shion murmured, looking at me. She then smiled once more. And signaled to the desk beside her, patting at it gently. "Come. Sit beside me. These girls are bitches. Pay no mind to them. They're just bitter they haven't seen their boyfriends. Come on over and sit, friend." She pulls the desk up beside her.

She already considered me her friend. I was touched. Now, if only her friends would think of me as such just as she had done so easily. I went over to sit beside her and her attention is directed all towards me while her friends are just sitting there, scowling at me. I'm terrified to turn my back to them. Who knew what they could do? What were they capable of doing? I couldn't even bear to think of it. I'm sure what they could do was highly cruel, judging by how intensely I was feeling their vibes and stares. Even as I had my back turned to them.

"So, is this your first year at this school?" She asks me, and I'm not thrown by this question at all anymore. I've been asked the same question so many times today, that it's expected.

I shake my head. "No, I've been going here since the start of my years." In fact, I'm about to ask her the same question to her since I haven't seen her or her friends roaming around the hallways of this school either. But maybe it's because I hardly pay any attention to the world around me. Most of the people in my classes I haven't seen either.

"Oh, really? That's weird. I haven't seen you around here." She says, confused. She gasps suddenly and points at me, as though remembering something. "Were you one of the guys that was suspended last year? Is that why I haven't seen you around?"

I laugh in the back of my mind. Me get suspended? Never. I don't think I'd ever have the balls enough to do something remotely dangerous, like get into a fight, or steal something, or, I don't know, skip.

"Then how come I haven't seen you before? You're, like, so cute!" She gushes, but not in a flirty way, which makes it all the more bearable to accept such a compliment.

But I seem to blush, either way.

"Hey, Shion, don't jump his bones already. You're getting vag juice all over the desk. AND you have a boyfriend. Remember?" Tayuya snapped, rolling her eyes.

"No, I know, I know! I was just giving a compliment, Tayuya! Something you've never learned to give or accept... Geez." She rolled her eyes now. She looks back at me, confused once more. She taps at her chin, thinking. "I've never seen you around. Maybe you were -"

"Oh, my gosh, Shion! He was the fat kid that hung around with Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru 24/7. He lost all the weight. And now that he's got a face, he's easily mistaken for the new kid." Kagura growled. Shion gasped her name angrily. Tayuya... Well, she didn't really care. I think.

And everything went silent. To me, anyway. I could feel anger bubbling inside of me, and my hands immediately balled into fists. I'd never felt the rage to punch a girl so hard in the face before. I'd never experienced so much anger. Personally, I always thought I was a pacifist. Not a single violent bone was in my body, and I never had a violent thought ever before. That's why I stayed away from horror and gore-filled movies - they made me queasy. But this? A complete stranger I hadn't known of since today telling the whole class that I was fat? That just pissed me off. Why would she say that? Especially like that? I hadn't done anything to piss her off! I hadn't even spoken to her directly! What the hell was her fucking problem?

"Do you even know me? Personally?" I suddenly snap, and I don't believe it myself that those very words are coming out of my mouth. I have never, ever, ever stood up for myself before. Not as angrily like this. Who knew I had so much pent-up anger? I surely didn't. Not even Kagura did. She was looking at me as though I had slapped her. I bet no one in her life talked down to her like I was doing right now. I bet she thought I didn't know how to fend for myself without the sanctuary and protection my friends gave me. I bet she thought I was as weak as I was last year. I bet she even thought i was too scared to ever call her out on her shit. Oh, just how wrong she was. "No, you don't. So, clearly, you have no right to talk about my life as if you know of it when you don't. You keep your mouth shut, or I'll punch you so hard in the face you'll see glitter."

For one, I never would have expected myself the last part. Like I said, I was a pacifist - I wouldn't dare hurt anyone. But the strange thing was... I was speaking the truth about that last part. I would hurt her as much as I would have liked to, without, hopefully, running the risk of getting suspended or getting thrown in jail for hitting a girl. I know that would never happen, but the thought of it was nice. I don't think I'd do it, though.

The shock of me speaking words to Kagura was shocking, in a way. She was incredibly dumbfounded. Or, at least, I thought she was. She was suddenly smirking, like some crazy person right out of a movie. I frowned. What the hell was she so smug about? That she could get me riled up enough to get something out of me? Simply by a certain amount of truth-speaking words? I couldn't put my finger on what it was, which was why she was smirking even more.

"...I like your attitude, Sasuke. I always thought you were a spineless jellyfish, you know?" She says. I scowl. She never knew me enough to think about me as someone she knew for years. Unbelievable. "I know, I know - I don't even know you enough to say shit like that. 'Personally'. I got it." She was mocking me. Oh, did I want to punch her so bad right now. I held back. I had to. Didn't want to mess shit up on my first day of school, or in front of my other classmates. And I didn't want to have to explain to my parents why I punched a girl, so, basically, I was backing myself up into a corner over here. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but it's true, right? You were fat, no one noticed you, and the only friends you had were those three. Right? Don't look me straight in the eyes and lie to me about that. Everyone knows it's true."

Why the hell was she saying these things to me? What had I done to her? I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to cry. Deep breaths, Sasuke, deep breaths. I had to calm the fuck down.

"Kagura, quit your shit! Just because you had a falling out with Sakura doesn't give you the right to call out her friends on their shit!" Tayuya hissed, shooting me a sincere look as soon as she finished her sentence.

But I'm thankful she had said that very sentence because it shuts Kagura right up. She rolls her eyes, but then gets up and excuses herself to go the bathroom, effectively echoing her rage with the slamming of the door. I'm incredibly more thankful towards Tayuya. I guess she was the girl of the group who kept everyone's shit together, to keep it real.

"Thanks." I say. "I was afraid that if she pushed me too far, I'd punch her eyeballs to infinity and beyond."

Tayuya laughs.

"Yeah, she kind of has that effect on people. She's infuriating like that. Can't be helped. I'm the only one who can keep her going straight-edge to her true self, which is more pleasing than what you just witnessed." She sighs, shaking her head. Then I remember what she said about Kagura and Sakura having a falling out. I never knew about this. Sakura never even spoke of her. Much less about any of her friends. What the hell happened between them that has her getting it out for me, instead of my best friend? And I'm about to ask her, were it not for the way she held up her hand at me, stunting any further questioning of anything. "Yeah, I don't think it's safe to talk about that just yet, so don't waste your breath asking. If you're lucky, Kagura will tell you. I mean, once she gets over her embarrassment of me calling her out. Takes the princess a while, but I don't think it'll be much of a problem in getting it out of her. Says she liked your attitude."

I raise my eyebrow.

"You really think she would tell me? I highly doubt that if I talked to her the way I did."

"Oh, no, she'll tell you. In her crazy world, saying she likes your attitude and treating you like shit after is, like, code for, 'Be my best friend'." Shion shakes her head. "Girl is pretty messed up. Doesn't know what's right, or what's wrong with her."

"But, I mean, if you really want to know, just ask Sakura. I'm sure she would tell you in a split second. She always talked about you when we all were friends, after all." Tayuya adds, grinning, and looking over at me, as she applies eyeliner.

I COULD ask her. But who knew when she'd have the time to talk to me? She'd be busy with studying, trying to maintain a stable social life, and trying to balance sleep into her schedule. And, wait a minute... She talked about me with her friends? Oh! So that's why so many people knew about me! I mean, I always thought it was because of her, but I didn't think she would talk about me with other people, with her other friends. I thought she just talked about, I don't know, shopping and makeup and shit. I guess not. I was her best friend after all! I never doubted it, but I thought she just thought I was just her friend.

As I'm pondering this, the bell rings. Had the time passed that quickly? Maaaaan. The teacher bids us farewell, and, before I know it, I'm out of class, and walking down the hallway with my new friends. Kagura soon joins us once she's out of the bathroom, and, slowly, she starts to warm up to me. I do, too, however, I'm still a little iffy about her attitude. But she makes me laugh with her diva-like ways, so I guess not all is lost. She doesn't apologize for her attitude, but, whatever, it doesn't bother me all that much, despite the fact that I still want to punch her face in. Doesn't bother me at all. Nope, not at all.

We walk to the front of the school together and wait together for our rides. During the time in which we're waiting. The girls are greeted by their boyfriends. We all shake hands as they each say their names. Choji, Kiba, and Suigetsu.

Choji's a big guy, and he's Shion's boyfriend, which shocks me to my very core, since, well, you know... Well, it's pretty obvious, no? Shion's girly and stuff! I'd expect her to be all, like, repulsed by chubby guys and stuff. I guess not, if she was making kissy faces at him, and rubbing her nose against his nose as well. Strange, but tolerable in my eyes. I'd seen worse than that.

Kiba was Kagura's boyfriend. I thought he was suitable enough for her. Although, he was much nicer than she was, and he actually knew who I was. I did, too. He was on the football team. All around good guy. Apparently, he was also Ms. Inuzuka's brother. I never would have guessed that. The eyes. Something different about the eyes.

And Suigetsu was Tayuya's boyfriend. Now, THAT I could imagine. He has the bad guy look about him, just like she has the bad girl look about him, and if one were to think that they'd be all hardcore making out like their badass selves. Well, they'd be wrong. In fact, they just talked to one another, like any normal, civil couple would do. Although, they were a little distant towards one another - I brushed that off as being shy. They were probably in the first steps of their relationship. I remember Sakura being that way with her boyfriends. Eventually, they'll warm up to each other enough to be like Shion and Choji over there. But I doubt that'll be anytime soon. Was that a blush I was seeing on Tayuya's cheeks? She notices me looking and sticks her tongue out at me. I liked her more now.

I smile, and then, before I know it, it's time for me to go. My brother's here, and my first day is over like that. My new friends promise to sit with me at lunch together. The boys promise as well, promising to get to know me better as well. I only grin as I walk from them and into my brother's car. When he asks me how my day went, I merely smile and say, 'Fine', but I know he probably knows it went better than just that.

I just hoped it stayed like that until the end of the year.

Positive, positive, positive.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Eh, eh, eh? Good chapter so far? Ehhhh? Lol. I really hope you did like it. Worked really hard on it. I actually finished this chapter in just two days. Can you believe it? :O I had to do a little research over these girls 'cause there weren't any other girls I knew left. Sure, I don't know any of these girls any better, but I didn't want to use OC's. D: I haven't seen the Shippudden series, so I wouldn't know how they really act. I don't even know who the fuck they are. *nervous laugh*

Anyway!

Please review! :) And I will hopefully get the next chapter out in little time as I did this one!

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	14. Revelations

**A/N: **Okay, so I kinda broke my promise about updating immediately if people reviewed - did I promise that? (I hope I didn't...) - but, hey, at least I updated, right? :D And, just to make up for it, I made it extra long. ;D Lmao. Soooooo wrong the way that came out. Eh, it's not like you kiddos are strangers to that, right? Haha. So, here ya go, eh! Lol.

**P.S.** Just to let you know, this has Naruto in it... aaaaand, well, a little extra something, too, but I won't spoil it up here. :P Sasuke and Naruto will NOT be making out, if that's what you people are hoping for. You really think I would make them do that after they just broke up? You really think I'd put that in there? -_-'

**P.P.S.** ...Honestly, for a minute, I considered putting it in there. :O But thank the Heavens above I had restraint! XD

Anyway, enough of my rambling; Enjoy! :)

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Over the week, I seem to be gaining many more friends. I never really thought it was possible that my circle of friends would grow into something more substantial as such. I actually even thought I would be friendless at some point, but it wasn't that way at all. It went so much better than that. More people seemed to know who I was as the week went by. All thanks to Shion, Tayuya, and Kagura. Each day they seemed to be talking to someone new in the time that I would hang out with them. And each day they would find the time to introduce me. And Pein, since he hangs out with the lot of us as well.<p>

Mind you, the people they acquainted themselves with weren't just popular people, but they were people from all walks of life and cliques and upbringings. And they were all nice to one another. Well, Shion and Tayuya were. Kagura was, at least, civil. One could easily tell from the look on her face that she didn't like people, especially different, odd people that Tayuya and Shion interacted with. I liked them. They were everyday normal people, but I guess Kagura wasn't a fan of that, considering how high her standards are of the way she views herself. And of the way she views the world, by the way she wrinkles her nose at even the slightest odd sense of behavior coming from anyone. I suppose she suspected everyone to be perfect in this world, or something, because it looked as though she was constantly disappointed. Especially when she was with Kiba. Like he didn't give her enough attention or something, which was stupid, considering he spent most of her time trying to please her, which only pissed her off. Who knew why?

Despite that, though, my life is coming together quite nicely. Although, I haven't gotten much homework done - since there rarely is any - I do seem to be building up quite the social life. Everyday my phone is being blown up by text messages, and, by the time I get to each and every single one, I have to respond to another text message in which I responded to earlier. Which, in exchange for all that of my social life, I have much less sleeping time to catch up on. It doesn't bother me. It wasn't like I ever got much sleep, anyway. I actually felt normal, like I was wanted, like I was loved. I finally felt like I was part of the in-crowd. I never knew what it felt like. I always wanted to know. It always seemed to me as though Sakura had it going pretty well in her life. I mean, I had it good as well, but she basically went out every night with her other friends, did stupid shit, went on dates, took road trips - everything. Yet she still had time to get good grades, maintain a healthy dosage of sleep, and have a steady supply of boyfriends all throughout her four years of school here. I never thought a thing like that was possible. Superhuman that my best friend was to handle all of that and not stress about it. Props to her for not crumbling over the excess stress of worrying about college, too.

If I were under that kind of pressure, I probably would have catapulted myself off a cliff if I ever got the chance. Which I doubt that I would do, considering how much I'm loving life right about now. I still can't seem to bring myself to believe it all. I think it's a dream. Is it a dream? I don't think so. I mean, it feels real and all, but, I don't know, it just doesn't exactly FEEL all too real. Maybe it's just the way everything's working out for me so easily. It feels like a prank.

However, the sheer reality of it all keeps me in check. Everything is real. Nothing is fake. Everything that I'm feeling, everything that I'm seeing, everything that I'm saying or thinking or anyone and everything I'm coming into contact with - it's all real. No matter what I want to think, or what keeps me thinking like that. I couldn't believe it. I can't even bring myself to believe that so many things have changed coming into this year so far, that I've actually stuck through with my purpose and goals in life and achieved them. Who knew it was all that simple? All I needed was dedication and a strong will of mind.

Now that I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't see the Sasuke I hated anymore. I saw the Sasuke I strived to be, and, because of that Sasuke I deemed myself to be, I sometimes lost track of time in merely staring at the figure. Not because I'm beautiful or anything - although, I am becoming someone enough to be stared at for a certain amount of time - but because I'm finding something new and interesting to stare at each and every day. Whether it's the way my skin is looking now - no more oily-look for me! - or it's how skinny my fingers have gotten, I find myself fascinated for hours and hours, just staring. It makes me sound like a crazy conceited person obsessing about their looks daily, at every chance they got, I know, but, trust me, if one were as fat as I was, and they suddenly found the time in their life to step away from the junk food to lose weight, then they would know just exactly what I'm talking about. And the more I went to the gym, the more difference I saw in myself, the better I felt about myself. I had never felt as happy as I was now in my life. I was always happy, sure, but I wasn't exactly ecstatic about life. Now I was. I had more than just life to look forward to now. Everything I looked at was like a story to me, everyone I met weren't just people anymore - they were individuals with many different uniqueness to each and every character, each with a different color aura and personality about them. I wasn't as guarded about myself anymore. I actually talked to people now, instead of being the wallflower, like I usually was. And, hell, if I was really having a good day, sometimes I would initiate conversation with anyone. The anxiety that usually ailed me wasn't a problem with me as much anymore.

I mean, I'm not just helping myself to be a little more outgoing, Pein's also helping. Well, not so much as help, but push me to talk to people that I was scared of. Like, say, the gangsters that hang by the dumpsters - I don't know why they would hang there; maybe because it looks like a good place to murder someone or something, the dumpster smell would be a good place to cover up the smell of rotting corpses they've rid of is my guess - he helped me get through the initial fear of having to speak with them for a full minute, I figured that they were normal people just like I was. Just with different ideas and morals and with a VERY different way of dressing themselves - they were actually pretty cool guys. They just had really strong in-your-face kind of attitudes. But, hey, I didn't want to judge people anymore by the way they dressed or by the way they warded off people with their attitudes anymore - I wanted to dig deeper than to just scrape at the surface of it all. And, so far, I'm doing a pretty good job of it all. People have accepted me into their groups like one of their own - as well as Pein, of course; if anything, we come as a package deal.

Speaking of Pein, we've actually been hanging out a lot. Not with just other people or during lunch or just walking each other to class or anything, but out of school, too. And alone with one another as well. Not that it means anything or that I would like anything to happen! It is a nice thought, though, wondering about such things. But still! I don't even know if he rolls that way. The whole school knows that I'm, well, you know, driving on the other side of the road. And, every time, whether I'm talking to someone new or not, they always ask me the same question. Each and every one of them! They ask me if Pein and I are going out. All of them! Sure, they don't ask him, mostly because he's got the same strong personality as those gangsters, so they're kind of scared as to exactly WHAT he'll even think of saying or doing to them. Maybe the reason they ask is because he's the only guy I really hang out with most out of all the other boys I've met. The people I were friends with last year asked me the same question when I hung out with Shikamaru! Of course, I said no to their question, and, even so, they still continued to ask me unnecessary questions about him, and whether or not I knew what his preference was, but, in all reality...

I don't even know WHAT his sexual preference is! We talk a lot and stuff, a lot about stupid stuff, and other kinds of crap, but I don't even think he ever intends to go deeper than talking about intimate stuff or sexual preference or anything. He looks too much like the type of person who would avoid talking about that, and talking about feelings and sunshine and rainbows and shiny, happy, glittery stuff. I wouldn't talk about that, either, but I was gay - sometimes we were expected to talk about that shit. The thing is, though, I don't think he even knows I'm gay. I mean, at some point, I think he's heard some things, but I think he just brushes it off as rumors or meaningless gossip, or something because, if he knows and believes it, then he shows a pretty stable way of not showing he cares or that it doesn't bother him or anything. Maybe because I'm too much of a man for him to believe I'm gay...

...Yeah, I wouldn't believe myself to be a man either. Especially with the way I acted on the first day we met? That was a huge clue. Anybody watching from mo than a mile away would have pegged me as a fairy. Immediately. Hmm. Strange. Why hadn't he pointed any of my behavior out? I don't want him to, but anyone who noticed the oddest bit of behavior would've have been polite enough to ask the question, right? Unless he really didn't know. Or cared... Still strange, though.

Suddenly, there's a loud, rumbling, growling sound from outside my window, and I'm sucked out from my thoughts too quick. I turn to my window, pull the curtains open, and look down into the street.

Speak of the devil.

It's Pein. On a motorcycle? At my house? And on a Saturday? Confusion arises in me. What's he doing here?

I race down the stairs in a flash. My parents ask me what was the source of the cause. I don't respond as I yank the door open to find Pein with his fist raised to knock. He stunts his movement and grins, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Hey." He greets me, shyly. Almost as though he's afraid. I laugh at this. He jabs his thumb behind him, pointing at his motorcycle. "I hope I didn't cause too much disturbance of the force around here."

I shake my head, laughing.

"Nah, just broke a few windows, is all." I joke. He chuckles and swings his arms somewhat childishly, waiting. I stand there, waiting as well. I raise my eyebrow at him. He does the same. I laugh once more. "Did you want something?"

He raises both his eyebrows at me, suddenly incredulous.

"You serious? You're not inviting me in?"

"Do you really need an invite? You're not a vampire. You're welcome here all day, every day." I swing the door open all the way and signal his entrance. He rolls his eyes and steps in, muttering under his breath about vampires and night and something else I didn't catch.

I shut the door as he stands before my family, still swinging his arms kind of awkwardly, now just standing there, watching them. He waves just as awkward as he acts, smiling shyly. Huh, different attitude when around 'parental units,' as he would say. Goes mute, instead of all out with his claws out. Interesting. My family waves back at him, but they're less awkward about it. I push Pein gently, just to get him a little closer towards the closest human contact that I can get him to, which is my pregnant mother and father who are cuddling on the couch, and he sort of shies away, resisting quietly. I laugh.

"Pein, this is my mom, Mikoto Uchiha, and this is my dad, Fugaku Uchiha. Mom, Dad, this is Pein, one of my friends from school. The first friend I ever made." I say, all with a smile on my face as he awkwardly shakes their hands. Is he shaking? Scratch that! Is he sweating? Oh, man, this is pure gold! All right, don't laugh, Sasuke; it's not nice to laugh at other people. You used to be as awkward as that. Around EVERYONE. Agh, my troll brain - always finds a way to stunt my amusement.

Seriously, though... Why is Pein so nervous? Is he honestly scared of meeting parents? I mean, I remember acting like that when I first met Ino and Shikamaru's parents, but I got over it in the first couple of minutes. Maybe because he didn't expect them to be here - their car's in the garage, so the house looks pretty dead from the outside. Although, not from the inside, I'm noticing. The television set is on and the sound is pretty high. They got it on some foreign soap opera. Spanish, I assume. That's weird. What were my parents doing in order to leave it there? Okay, Sasuke, don't go there. Dangerous place, your mind is, friend.

"Hey, how are ya, buddy-boy?" My dad says, and it's strange to hear him say those words. Maybe because he's never used those words before on my friends, only on me. "Is that your bike out there?" Pein nods quickly. "How old is it?"

"Uh, I actually just got it yesterday. I actually just came over to show it to Sasuke. Thought he'd be interested in it... Sir." Aw, he was afraid! He was referring to my father as 'sir'! He didn't have to do that. Dad was always nice - he never blew a fuse or anything.

"Really? That's good. That's REALLY good." Dad suddenly gets up and opens the window curtains wider to get a better look at it. He chuckles in approval, and looks over at him. "Had me one of those when I was your age. I would go everywhere with it. Never quietly, but, man, it was fun. Took my lady out here on endless rides. Of course, though, it wasn't all fun and games..."

"Oh, yes, I wonder why, sweetheart. Got into an accident, didn't you?" My mother suddenly interjects, crossing her arms over her overgrown belly, eyebrows raised, obviously not at all fazed by the nostalgia my father was getting over the bike. Pein looked absolutely engrossed in the story that my father told, but it still didn't seem to wipe away the nervousness that pooled in his forehead. I leaned against the doorframe, watching this event with my arms crossed over my chest, amused.

Dad chuckled nervously.

"Right, well... Yeah. I got into an accident. Some idiots got me all riled up and challenged me to a race. Me, not being able to resist turning down the race - and free money - I took a chance. And I raced."

"Broke his arm and leg in doing that, though. Didn't you, hon?"

"W-Well, yeah, but I got the money, didn't I?"

"You did. But now, tell the boy - what did you spend it on?"

"...A new bike to replace my wrecked one."

"Uh-huh. And what were you supposed to spend it on?"

My dad was almost ashamed to answer this. And Pein? Pein looked like he didn't know what to do in this situation. He didn't know whether my dad was telling the story anymore, or just digging himself a deeper hole of trouble by my mom. He looked at me for help. I shrugged, chuckling quietly at his expressions, as though telling him to wait it out. He turns back to my parents who seem to be reliving in the past of the argument.

"But, babe, it was a lot of money! I wasn't about to spend it all on an engagement ring! That's what I gave you my grandmother's engagement ring for!"

"Oh, yeah, because buying a new bike is so much more important than getting an engagement ring for your fiancée when you know that your grandmother's ring didn't fit her!"

"Well, it's not my fault you've got chubby fingers! Blame your oldest son for that!" Ooh, now that wasn't a good thing to say. I know my father didn't mean that, but it was too late to take it back now. The fun of it all was over. Now I knew the time to leave. Right now.

"Okay, so the moral of the story is, 'Don't go racing, get into an accident, and spend all your prized winnings on replacing a wrecked bike when you know perfectly well that your fiancée is in need of a better fitting ring!'" Before anything else happens, I grab Pein's arm and race the hell out of there, before the real arguing starts. And, sure enough, it does start, just as soon as we close the door.

Now, to be honest, I'm not worried that they're arguing, because I know they'll be okay, and that their marriage will be fine and such. They have been arguing a lot, but it's because of my mother's raging hormones, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. So, it's nothing to worry about. Except for, you know, the fact that my dad will be sleeping on the couch tonight.

Both Pein and I stare at each other as the arguing continues inside. I release his arm and let out a relieved whoosh of air. He does, too, then starts laughing. I do as well. Why do we laugh? Well, what else is there TO do? That's the only thing to do after something like that happens before your eyes. Especially when in front of a friend they haven't met.

For just about a minute, we laugh. Just that. We don't even hear the arguing anymore, but I'm sure it's still going on somewhere else around the house. Even so, I believe we're over it. Not entirely, but it's a step. In that instant, Pein seems to be doing all right as well. He lets out a few couple of quiet chuckles, and then he sighs in a somewhat relieving way. I watch him as he looks over at my house, then back at me, then back at the house. I smile slightly. He seems to be panicking inside at the sudden turn of events that he believed to have caused.

"Are they going to be all right? Do they usually fight like that when visit comes around?" I don't know what it was about his sudden panicky attitude, but it kind of looked cute on him. The way his silver eyes seemed to dart back and forth between me and the door behind the arguing. Maybe it's just because of the look on his face and the way he's acting, but, either way, it's interesting to watch him.

...I don't like him!

"They're fine. Mom's emotions are just a little more heightened these days. Even worse now that Dad brought up the motorcycle incident..." To this, he hangs his head in shame.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't think my motorcycle would reopen old wounds and arguments. I honestly just came to show you my baby." He says, signaling towards his motorcycle. I laugh, shaking my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest, thoroughly impressed by the enormous bike he rode to my house in.

I approach the bike, and survey it entirely, deeming it respectable for my taste, despite that I knew nothing of bikes. Though, it was a gorgeous bike, indeed. Looked dangerous and all, but it was still a nice bike.

"I like it. It's your style. How much was it?" I touch the leather seat, feeling the leathery smoothness of the seat. He does the same, smiling. It's apparent that he's in love with this contraption of metal danger too much already. He rubs the bike, sighing contentedly.

"Just a month's worth of my allowance..." He answers, somewhat dreamily. I roll my eyes. Of course a boy like Pein would spend that much money on a bike. Any boy, actually. Except me, though. I very much preferred something small and second-handed, compared to the monstrosity of a vehicle he was hogging around. He looks at me, eyes shining brightly, suddenly excited. "You want to take a ride on it? I want you to be the first person of my friends to experience the vibration on this baby."

"Yeah, I think the whole neighborhood felt it firsthand." I joke, but he only smiles. He pats at the seat gently. He really wants me to be the first one of his friends to experience the dangerous situation of it all that was on joining him on a ride? Was he serious? But... What about... Didn't he have anyone other than me, more important than I was? Come on, he had to have let someone ride it before asking me to do so, right? Right? "Why me? What about a girlfriend? Your brother? Sister? Cousin? Uncle? Aunt? Parents? Anyone else rather than me? Someone you've known longer, maybe? You can't trust me not to crash it. I'll end up blowing it to smithereens, Pein. You honestly cannot let me - a clumsy stranger-type person, who you've only known for a week, nonetheless - ride with you."

"Nah, I don't believe you. I want you to take a ride on it, all right? I don't care if I've known you for a week. I feel as though I've known you longer than anyone else, you know?" Really? Did he really say that? That was impossible. But, I mean, we have been talking a lot more, and we have been hanging out a lot out of school lately, as well. And we've been texting a lot. So, I guess I kind of understood why he'd let me be the first to ride. Still, though, he wasn't supposed to be granting immediate permission for me to ride his motorcycle. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to ride it. Better yet, I hardly would seem to think that my parents would be right in their minds to let me. "All right, how about an exchange? In order that you don't feel guilty, you take me out to eat, you pay, and everything, and I'll let you ride it all day today. And any other day you feel like using it. Shit, I'll teach you how to drive it if you don't know how to. It's easy. All you gotta do is focus on the balance."

Ooh, no, I wasn't good at that whole balance thing. And did he just ask me out? Or was that all in my head? Nah, it was probably just a friendly invite. Not that it matters much. He's just a friend. I'm just a friend. I don't see him like that. He doesn't see me like that. Despite how nice he's being about letting me ride his hog. He was just nice was all.

Despite my protests, however, he pushes me onto the bike, and teaches me the way of the bike, on the way the pedal works, and the clutches and all that crap. Even so, I've forgotten it all. But he drills it into my head consistently, making sure that I understand perfectly on how to handle this monstrosity, so that it sticks and that I won't forget, despite how much I may want to. He makes very sure of that.

And then comes the time for me to turn it on and actually ride off into the road. Which I'm very much doubting to do so, but Pein keeps me on the bike, disregarding the dislike on my part that's growing for his stupid bike.

"Come on, Sasuke, nothing's going to happen. You'll be fine. Besides, I'm going to be sitting right behind you, so, in the case that you fuck things up -" I scowl at him. "I WILL take over. I won't risk our death."

"But you're already taunting Death by placing me in charge of the wheel!" I snap, irritated at just how calmly he was going to allow me to lead us to our fast and untimely death if he were to let me stay behind the wheel like this. He sighs. Not impatiently. But as though he were ready to prove a point. I wasn't going to listen. I start to get off the bike. However, he places his hand over mine, stunting the movement. My eyes immediately move towards the intimate human contact he's holding over me. I look back up at him, suddenly doubting what exactly his intentions and motivations are for riding his bike.

Then he's looking at me with those silver eyes, and I find myself lost in the spell of it all, which seems barbaric, since I promised myself not to do such a thing. Ever again. But I guess some things never change.

"Sasuke, this is a once in a lifetime experience. Either you take it, or lose it forever. I'm offering you gold here. Take a chance and risk everything, no matter how crazy it sounds." I want to speak against him and his words, but I'm frozen by the way he's looking at me. Much too seriously. He's probably going to end up having to force me to ride the bike. I wouldn't doubt that he wouldn't go along with doing that - he looks strong enough to carry me and force me to stay on the bike. Then I remember I'm much lighter than I used to be. Man, now I was really trying to get out from the way he was looking at me. I squirmed, but he kept a firm hand on my own. He towered over me, blocking any sign of escape. Darn. "Listen, I know that you're afraid to take risks. I've noticed. Since the first day that I asked you to skip, I knew. But, come on, there's a reason our paths crossed, right? Someone like me hanging out with you has to account for something."

I agreed to that. Slightly.

"Well, yeah, but what about my parents? I don't think they'd appreciate the idea of me riding on a motorcycle, you know?"

"So? You're already eighteen. You're basically a man already. You're entitled to do what you want now. Although, despite what I'm telling you, I don't advise you to disobey your parents. It's wrong, and it's immoral of me to even suggest the mere thought of it, but I've had different parents than you do. And, look, we're teenagers, we're entitled to making stupid mistakes. We were born to rebel against the hierarchy. You have to agree with me on that, right?" To be honest, as insulting as it was to my parents' power over me, I did agree with him. I didn't want to, but I did anyway. In fact, he made a whole lot of sense. Now, I didn't know what it was that made me agree. Maybe because, deep inside, I knew that I had to have some sort of power of my own actions, instead of being held up by my mom and dad's word. Or maybe it was the adrenaline rush that suddenly rises within me. Whether it's by his touch, or it's by the bike, I don't know. I now know what it is that I want to do, what I desire most out of all of this.

"Fine. I want to ride the bike." I tell him. He grins, then releases my hand to sit behind me. He's about ready to go. I don't know if I am, though. I have no idea where in the hell we're going, anyway. I turn my head to look at him. It's strange, having to turn my head and have his own face so close to my own. He doesn't seem to mind it, though. "So, um, where are we going again?"

"You're buying me lunch, remember? In exchange for learning how to ride the bike." He replies, and I nod, confirming. Yet I'm still not ready. He is. He grabs the clutch, and the engine roars to life, then, he wraps an arm around my waist - it feels strange to have him press so closely to me, and I'm sure he feels it, too; neither one of us are complaining, though - although, he keeps one hand on one clutch, right beside my hand.

And, just like that, he lets me take the wheel.

* * *

><p>"We could have almost died! My gosh! I can't believe you let me do that!" I squeak as we step in through the doors of McDonald's. I'm shaking from the adrenaline rush, from the scare, from the cold air that hits me.<p>

Pein merely chuckles.

"You did fine, Sasuke. So that car almost crushed us. Big deal. We're still alive, aren't we?" He jokes.

I smack his arm lightly.

"It's only because you took charge of the clutch that we didn't get crushed! It was a good thing you did... I'm never doing that ever again, though. Promise me you won't ever let me do that again, Pein, please. I still want to live..." I say and settle myself into a booth, mostly to calm my nerves. I'm still shaking from the scare. And the cold, of course. Geez, why is it so friggin' cold in here, anyway? I'm freezing my toes off here!

"Fine. I won't make you ride again. I promise." He holds up his right hand, as though swearing on it. He notices me shivering. "Are you cold or something?"

"Just a little. But I'm sure it's just because I scared the crap out of myself out there." I say, brushing off his concern.

"I highly doubt that, Princess. It is pretty cold. So, here." He proceeds to take off his red hoodie, and I clamor against the action. I argue that I'm not all that cold, when I know I really am. We both know. He insists, handing it to me, waiting for me to take it. I don't want to, despite my shivering.

Why? Well, you know why! Okay, maybe some of you do, and some of you don't, but, either way, I'll tell you. It just feels like we're on a date or something, but I keep trying to tell myself that this is not what it is. But I keep having doubts because, so far, he's touched me many more times than I can count. Not inappropriately or anything. Just, like, you know, touching my hand, wrapping his arm around my waist when we were on the bike - granted, I know he's supposed to do that, or he'll fall off the bike - and lending me his sweater, even if he's cold too. It could be all in my head or something, but it seems to me like he didn't just want to show me his bike and have me ride it firsthand. I believe there's something else behind it all. Like he planned this, or something. But I try to tell myself that he's just trying to be a good friend. Visiting me unannounced, letting me have a look and ride on his bike before anyone else, and hanging out at McDonald's was anything a good friend would do, right? Friends hung out at McDonald's. Alone. I'm sure, right? I wouldn't know entirely, since I've never been alone with just ONE friend, so excuse me if it sounds just a bit strange for me to be obsessing over this like a lunatic. It's a big deal for me, of course, mostly because this guy is just making me question all his motives, wondering whether or not he's straight. I'm being stupid, I know, but I'm totally paranoid about boys. I don't care if they're straight or not - I'm just utterly terrified of being alone with them. Just me, by myself, with no one to help me handle a situation like this.

Okay, no, whatever, Sasuke, just take the hoodie, and appreciate the gesture he's making out to you. No over analyzing anything today. Take it, take it, take it! Before he thinks you're retarded!

I take it, and, almost immediately, his scent overpowers my senses. I find myself inhaling. Deeply. For such a rebellious-acting, manlier-than-men kind of guy that Pein was, I never would have expected him to smell so good. Oh, God, no, Sasuke; don't do that! Man, I was such a freak... Slowly, I put on the hoodie and zip it up to my chin, avoiding his gaze - I really hope he didn't notice the freaky thing I did - and I suddenly felt warmer. I sigh contentedly. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Better?" He asks. I nod. "Good. Now... Our deal? You're paying." He holds out his hand, waiting. I roll my eyes and stuff my hand in my pocket, taking out a twenty I didn't know I had in there. He takes it and is about to turn on his heel to go buy his meal, but he turns back to me. "Are you hungry? I'll buy. After all, it is YOUR treat, Sasuke."

I laugh and shake my head.

"All yours. Go crazy."

He pumps his fist lightly in victory, as though expecting my response, and turns away from me to go to the counter and order. I laugh quietly at his strange little attitude. Now, all right, I'm not going to lie, Pein is a nice guy. And he's cute. And he's a person that could entertain me for hours with his jokes and his personality. Maybe I'm looking too much into what he's doing and what he's saying, or just what he might be insinuating between everything he's saying, but I suppose I like him. Not like a crush yet, but kind of like a possibility. I know it's probably just my head playing tricks on me, but it's nice to dream about a possibility like him and I going out, right? Only in my daydreams, though, because experiencing the real thing would probably freak him out more than it would me. I mean, it's just -

"I'm sorry, did I hear right? Sasuke?" A voice calls out to me. A familiar voice. I know the voice, but I just can't place on just who exactly it belongs to. I turn to the source in which it came from. And I'm shocked.

It's Temari. But she's not alone. That mop of untidy blond hair is recognizable even after two months of trying not to think about the person to who it belongs to. However, the beard that he's sporting could almost make him unrecognizable. Still, his eyes are what I remember most of all. Other than that, he's changed a lot.

Everything that I had suppressed in my chest for the summer, every emotion, every fiber of my being, wants to unhinge from within me. I feel guilty. The old Sasuke comes rushing back, ready to surface at the sight of Naruto. I feel like running away. I didn't want to face him. I don't think I was ready. I don't think he was ready. He's angry with me. I'm pretty sure he is. I can almost feel it. Those cerulean eyes are not straying from my own. Even as much weight as I've lost, I believe he'd still recognize me. He does recognize me, though. The shock in his face shows it all. I'm afraid. What do I say? What can I say?

"Oh, I... Sorry. I thought you were someone else. You just... You look a lot like one of my old friends." Temari starts to say, and she's about to leave, but I get up from the booth too quickly. It's almost as though I'm going to attack her. But I'm not. I wouldn't.

"No, Temari, it's Sasuke. You weren't wrong." Naruto says, before I can. And his gaze toward me doesn't falter. He's judging me.

No, Sasuke! You aren't going to think like that anymore! You've changed, remember? I'm sure Naruto's changed too. He would never judge.

"Yeah, hi, Temari. Hi... Naruto." I smile weakly at him. Like that'll help. I don't think it does. He turns away too quickly to notice my smile.

"It's really you? No way... You lost weight! Wow!" Temari gushes as she rushes over to hug me. She starts to poke and prod at my face, at my arms, at my stomach, as if trying to make sure it's all real and she's not dreaming. "It's been a while. So, of course, you'd do something different to yourself! Oh, wow... How are you? How's school? What are you doing here?"

Questions. So many. And even more distracting it was to try to answer them when Naruto was standing behind Temari, standing awkwardly, waiting. I really wanted to let them be alone together. I was ruining what I supposed was their alone time. This just only made me feel worse. But I brush it off. Just for now. I turn back to Temari.

"Um, I'm good. School's going well. Better than ever, actually, but, um, it's nothing much of a major change." It was, but I wasn't going to tell her that with Naruto here. "And, well, I'm just here... Getting some food. With a friend." I wasn't about to clarify what kind of friend Pein was or anything.

"Ohhh, is it, like, a date or something?" She giggles.

Now, I don't know if she's doing this on purpose or anything, but, either way, from the way this conversation is taking a turn, I don't think Naruto really cares. Hmm. Well, fine. I don't either... Or, at least, I try not to.

"No. He's just a friend."

"Don't have time for boys, now that you're thin, or what, Sasuke?"

Stop asking those questions, please. Please, please, please.

"Still getting used to the new me, so, no. Um, do you want to sit?" Bad idea to invite them to sit with me, but I believe it was the only way to stray Temari away from those kind of questions. She sits. Naruto joins her. Somewhat sullenly. I know, Naruto, I know you don't want to be anywhere near me, but you don't have much of a choice right now. I scoot all the way into the booth, near the window, and away from Naruto. I look at Temari, trying to focus all my attention on her, but also trying not to keep them out of the loop as well. It was hard, considering he used to be my boyfriend and I shattered his heart into irreparable pieces. I pushed the very thought away from my mind. "So, um, how are you guys? What's been going on your lives? Anything new to report?"

Temari's face shone at the question. She giggled and shook Naruto's arm excitedly. He snickered at her behavior, so that loosened up his attitude quite well, which eased the tension that surrounded the table. Thank goodness, I thought I would be the one in charge of doing so.

"Well, you won't believe me, but... I'm pregnant!" She squeals, and, for that moment, I don't really believe her. She doesn't even look pregnant. She notices my confusion, though. "Oh, I'm only a couple of months pregnant, so it's okay that you don't believe it. I won't be showing for quite a while. Although, coming to McDonald's might be a big clue... But I do that everyday, so it's not much of a change!" She laughs.

All three of us do. And, for that moment - ONLY in that moment - do I feel like nothing's wrong with me, or with the world. At least, you know, just not with as many problems as I had additionally caused myself to mess with the world and its most gifted people. But I push the thought from my mind, reminding myself that I wasn't going to be that guy anymore. I wasn't going to be depressing, nor was I going to focus on the bad. I had to focus on the now and remain in the now. I had to stay happy, be happy like I promised myself and everyone else. A small hint of a smile still remained on my lips as the awkward atmosphere slowly returned. As well as Pein with his tray full of food. I could only suspect that he would spend most of my money - I didn't mind; after all, I did promise him food - and choose off the dollar menu.

He was busy looking his lips and salivating over the cheap deliciousness of a meal that would soon enter his mouth, so it was expected that he would be surprised by the additional people at the table. Not that he wasn't used to it - we were constantly surrounded by people we didn't know, in regard to the trio of girls always bringing unknowns - but, this time, he didn't know how to react to this, since it was out of school, and since he thought it was only going to be the two of us. Still, he could adapt.

Slowly, he slipped in beside me, casting wary glances toward Temari and Naruto. He smiled politely their way, waved somewhat awkwardly as a greeting, then looked down at his food, pointed at it as a silent offering as though to compensate for any other awkwardness he would bring. Temari giggled, shaking her head. Naruto merely shook his head.

"Hi, I'm Temari. This is Naruto. It's nice to meet you." They each shook hands, an entanglement of limbs amongst the table disrupted the force field of awkwardness around the table, which soon turned into bouts of laughter at the odd situation of their shaking of hands.

"I'm Pein. Nice to meet you, too." Pein says, chuckling. He takes a fry, and is about to eat it, but he stops. He looks down at his food, then looks over at me. "You want anything? There's a crapload of food here to fill up the whole restaurant, I'm sure. Take your pick. Seriously."

I shake my head, shaking my hands at the food, as though a pitiful way to repel it.

"No thanks. Don't want to awake the beast within." I reply, patting my stomach, despite the way it seems to be growling dangerously at me. All three of them hear it, even if the ambiance around here in the restaurant is pretty loud.

Pein rolls his eyes, mutters a 'yeah, whatever' at me, and hands me a carton of French fries, chicken nuggets, stuffs a second straw into his drink - to which I raise my eyebrows at; he only shrugs - and pushes it all the way over to me. Then he scarfs down the food he has on his tray without a second thought, not even noticing the way Temari is looking at him, then at me, or at the way I stare at him. That was very nice of him. Too nice of him. Which only rises her suspicion of whether or not I'm on a date with Pein. Which I clearly am not! I have to mind myself to keep sane...

She raises her eyebrows at me, smirking, that assumption burning holes from her eyes in through mine. I shake my head rapidly, and busy myself with my newly acquired food. But I feel as though that would be like accepting such an absurd assumption. I almost refrain from eating it, but I'm hungry. All the while avoiding her smug stare.

"All right, well, I'm going to get some food. Just watching him eat like that makes me feel like I haven't eaten since forever." Temari says and Naruto get up, so she can stand up from the booth. "I'll be right back. Naruto, do you want anything?" He shakes his head, and is about to sit down, but then the realization of being alone with me and Pein sinks in. It's too late, though. He slinks back into the booth. And he just remains quiet. Although it's obvious he wants to say something. Anything. I want to say something, too, but it's hard to think of anything. Especially if I still sort of had feelings for him. Barely there, but still there. I hardly think he would feel the same about me, though. There's no use obsessing over it, if the only thing I want is to be friends. Except... It's hard. But I had to say something. I couldn't just wait for him to say anything first. I had to take action nowadays.

"So, uhm... How've you been?" I ask. A good, safe question. I wasn't going to divulge any deeper into asking questions probing about his personal life or regarding that of his breakdown - I might be curious to know whether or not it was because of me, but I believe that might seem just a tad conceited of me to think a thing like that; it could probably be something else entirely. Either way, I'm sure he wouldn't have liked to talk about that.

He shrugs slightly.

"I've been alright. Been recording a lot more nowadays. On account of Temari, of course. We're doing a day-to-day update on her belly. It sounds dumb, but it's... It's interesting to see how much she grows in those hell-ish months." He replies, now settling himself into the booth more comfortably. He meets my eyes now, and those familiar orbs of endless blue suck me in once more. I bite a nugget to keep myself busy from remaining in a trance because of them. They don't stray, however. "What about you?"

"Well, like I said earlier, school's going better than usual. There's... Well, not a lot has been happening, but I'm sure something's bound to come up. Oh! My mom's getting bigger. She's about ready to pop any day now." I'm getting more and more comfortable by the second that I'm talking to him. Like when we were dating. But we're not anymore. I just have to keep reminding myself, and I have to restrain myself from doing or saying anything dangerous or stupid around him or Pein. Especially that of my and Naruto's past, since I don't think he knows about my sexuality. Or of the fact that we were once a thing. Crap, better not blow anything. I'm capable of doing a thing, so I have to constantly remind myself. Over and over again.

"Really?" He seems genuinely interested. "Wow. Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?"

"No, she wants to be surprised."

"But what about all the baby clothes she's gotten? I'm sure she's gotten some by now, right?"

"Yeah, but she's gotten all yellow clothes. So, whether the baby is a boy or a girl, the color fits perfectly."

He leans back on the booth, suddenly crossing his arms over his chest.

"Smart woman, your mom is. How is she doing, by the way? Is she... Well, is she still sane?" He chuckles. I chuckle.

Pein chuckles.

Oh, God, I had almost forgotten he was here. I felt terrible, all of sudden. Just ignoring him like that? What kind of person was I? It wasn't like he cared whether or not he was included in the conversation - he looked happy enough eating his food without any distractions whatsoever - but I still had to string him into the conversation, somehow. I had to make him feel like he had a part in this conversation, despite that Naruto and I were talking with each other as though we were the only people left here on this planet. It was just like...

Nope. Wasn't going there. Reminding, reminding, reminding. Whoo, almost dug my own grave with that one.

"Actually, Pein, here, got her all riled up right before we came here. Right, Pein?" I nudge him gently, and it's as though he's been woken from a trance. He drops his burger at the action, then looks at me, suddenly confused. Then he remembers and nods at Naruto.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't the only one who caused it. My bike had a part in it." He shakes his head at the remembrance, then laughs, jabbing his thumb at me while looking at Naruto. "His parents were practically clawing at each other, so, you know, I'm just standing there, looking like an idiot. I don't know what to do. Sasuke doesn't know what to do. Until he just grabs my arm and drags me out of there. I'm pretty sure they were still arguing when we'd left..."

Naruto lets out a quiet snort, shaking his head incredulously at the idea of my parents arguing. They never argued in front of him, so maybe that's why he seemed so surprised to hear such an occurrence. But I don't think that's what baffled him...

"You came here riding on a bike? Did you ride on the expressway?" He asks, concerned, which throws me off a little.

"Yeah. Shit was scary. Sasuke almost made us crash. But, you know, it's okay - I had my hands on the clutch, so we were safe." Pein remarks. That doesn't soothe Naruto in the least. Why was he acting all panicky? And why was Pein saying all calm-like? That really didn't make the story better... It was actually making me a little scared to hear the story being told like that. I shivered at the remembrance and tugged Pein's hoodie onto my shoulders even tighter, as I bit into another nugget.

"You let Sasuke drive? That's... That's kind of dangerous, don't you think? How do you even know if the motorcycle was a smart choice to be riding on?"

"Of course it was going to be a smart choice to ride on. I've been riding bikes since I was sixteen. And, yeah, I let Sasuke drive. He wanted to learn." Now, Naruto was looking at me like I was the strangest person on the planet. I don't know why. I hadn't done anything wrong. Why was he so concerned about me, anyway? It wasn't like I belonged to him. Not anymore, at least.

I busied myself with taking a sip of Pein's shared drink, as to avoid his stare.

"Sasuke, I've got to talk to you." He suddenly says, and gets up from the booth. I stare at him in confusion, but he's waiting like his life depended on it.

So I have to ask Pein to scoot out. And he does so, without any complaints. Not that he would, or anything. I don't know where Naruto plans on taking me to talk to me, but it's terrifying. He just looks so serious as he steps outside. He paces for a while, but then he gets a hold of himself and looks at me. Then he starts to pace again. And looks at me once more. He squints at me, sizing me up. He looks inside through the window. I'm guessing he's looking for Temari or something, maybe Pein, but I don't know. He's acting strange. He acts even more strange when he finally speaks... Like an insane man. I'd like to say it nicely, but there's no nice way of putting it as such.

"Are you stupid, Sasuke? He's letting you drive the bike? That's dangerous! Do you know how many people die on riding motorcycles? I assure you that it's many. Why would you go out and put yourself and another at risk by doing that?" He starts to pace again. He starts to breathe heavily. Oh, man, he was going to blow. I had to find some way to calm him or something.

But I don't know how to anymore. And I can't seem to shake the main question surging through my head. Why did he care? It wasn't like I meant anything to him anymore, right? I was the one who messed up the relationship, so he was supposed to hate my guts. Not be concerned for my life like I wasn't.

"Hey, Naruto, calm down. Nothing happened. We were fine. Pein had everything under control. Like he said, he's been riding since he was sixteen." I say softly, not in a condescending voice. I try to control my own emotions, in an attempt to calm him.

But I guess doing so doesn't really calm him.

"That doesn't really help much if you're already lying in the middle of the road, dead, Sasuke!" He growls, then he shakes himself, as though shaking the image from his head. "I can't even dare to imagine what I would do..." He rests against the wall, suddenly tired, cradling his head in his palms. He sighed. "I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if such a thing were to happen to you."

Guilt? Why would he live with the guilt if he wasn't the one who forced me into riding the bike? Unless he put himself at fault for the way I seemed to be acting on impulse nowadays. Maybe he thought that he was the main reason I got skinny. He was, in a way, but I was mostly doing that for my health. That of the guilt, though... Why did it matter so much to him? He wasn't supposed to be worried about me.

I crouched down beside him, and rested against the wall as well, watching him as his eyes suddenly seem to drift faraway. Thinking.

"Naruto, you shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't do anything in order for me to go riding on that bike. That was all on my own accord. You shouldn't be worrying about me anymore. I'm fine..." I murmur. I know it doesn't help him in any way, my saying this, but it's true. He shouldn't worry.

"But I'm not. I'm not fine. I wasn't fine when you broke my heart, and I'm still not fine, knowing that you're off doing stupid, reckless stunts that could get you killed. And then... You hanging out with metal-face doesn't soothe my consciousness of you being okay." He looks at me, measuring my expression. A mirthless laugh escapes his lips as he sees my pained expression. "I know, I know. I should hate you for messing up the best relationship I've ever had in my life, but... I can't help it. I can't hate you. I miss you, Sasuke. So much. I still care about you. I still love you... So, you know, just... Pardon me for being concerned about your well being." I'm speechless. What can I say to all that? I can't say anything remotely equal as to what he said. And I couldn't say that I felt the same way about him, either - I broke up with him, I was the one who said I didn't feel the same way about him as he felt about me, I was the evil, heartless ex. Damn, I was in a tough situation. As I parted my lips to speak, Naruto did the same as well. But the words came out of his mouth before they did out of mine. "Did you know I had a breakdown sometime in the week after you broke up with me?" I want to say yes, that Sakura told me, but I didn't think that would be the best of ideas. I shook my head, suddenly unsure of what he was about to tell me. Because whatever it was, I'm sure it was nothing good. He nodded, turning from me to look at his hands, to which I now realized were covered with faint scars. Scratches? "Yeah, well, you were part of the reason that I did. Not entirely, but... I think you should know why that happened to me."

I don't know if I wanted to know. What kind of person would I be if I wanted to know why he had his little episode? I didn't think it was a very appealing idea to tell me.

"No, Naruto, don't tell me, please. I don't think it's a very good idea. I don't want to -"

"I want you to know. It may not be the best idea to tell you, since it'll change your opinion of me vastly, but... You did say I never told you anything about me. And now I am." He takes a deep breath, mentally and physically preparing himself for the worse that is about to come. His hands clench into fists. The scars on his hands disappear for the briefest of moments, but make their appearance once more, once he relaxes. I can't bring myself to relax for what is to come, for what he's about to tell me. "You know how Itachi and I are kind of, like, well... How we don't exactly see eye to eye?" He murmurs. I nod. And I know now what he's about to tell me. Was it bad? Did I deserve to be told after what I'd done to him? But he doesn't refrain himself from telling me. He takes another deep breath, calming his nerves. He's shaking, I notice. "Well, back then - about a year or so ago its been, I think - we were friends. Really good friends. We did all kinds of shit together. We hung out practically every other day. I mean, we'd be hanging out everyday if, you know, if it were high school. Anyway... He brought in a close friend of his into the picture. Kisame. He was a nice kid. Really young, about your age, maybe older, a freshman. He was a lot like you, in many ways." For a moment, he stays quiet, remembering the kid, I bet. Then I see tears in his eyes. What had happened with this kid? With him?

I rub his back. I don't think it's the smartest thing to do, but it was the only way I knew how to express sympathy for someone without words. Of course, I knew how to express sympathy with words, but I don't know what's happened yet, enough to express myself.

"You don't have to tell me if it doesn't make you comfortable talking about it." I say. He shakes his head.

"I have to tell you. That way you'll know, that way you'll understand why Itachi hates me, that you should be the one to hate me instead of me hating you, of why you're not the worst person in the world, compared to me." He tells me. Then he composes himself yet again, staying strong against the tears that ail him. "Kisame hung out with us every chance that he got. We invited him over with us to, well, you know, do stupid shit. We were even more reckless than we are now. It was all fun and games for those couple of months. Until, well, we got a little too messed up one night. We were all wasted. Kisame was even more wasted, compared to us. Then, in that night, he did something a little... Different from what we'd ever expect from him. To me, at least. It was stupid on my part, though, to continue with any of it..." There were those tears building up again. He had to shake himself back to reality to keep them from coming out. He presses his hands onto his eyes, as if to rid himself of the wretched memories that are to come. "He kissed me that night. And I let him. I couldn't stop myself from letting him kiss me. I didn't even know he was like that. I wasn't like that either. I hadn't thought of doing that with him once... Yet I continued to kiss him. We went even further than that. I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't even sure whether or not I felt about him the way he did for me. So... I told him I didn't feel what he felt for me. Then I left. For the next couple of days, we didn't speak. Itachi hadn't heard much of him either. He called him. Constantly. He never answered his phone. I got scared. I started to call him. I went over to his house. I..." He started to shake violently, and the tears started to come again. He didn't have to say anything else if the rest was too much to tell.

"Don't continue, Naruto. It's hurting you."

"Yeah, well, it hurt Kisame more when he drugged himself into oblivion, Sasuke." He snaps, the emotion taking over him completely. He's clenching his fists again. He slams his hand onto the concrete wall. I hear a sickening crack, and I know that he's broken something. It doesn't seem like he cares, though. He looks at me with tear-filled eyes, and I can feel his heart breaking. I'm watching him practically fall apart. His hand cups my face. I can't push it away. Either way, his hand falls. He looks sad. "Itachi and I went to his funeral. Separately. He knew that I was the one that caused his death. Kisame had told him what he had done, what we had done, what I didn't feel for him. Itachi and I got into a fight at that funeral. He absolutely hated me for that - he still does; it wouldn't be natural if he wasn't since Kisame was more of a best friend to him than I ever was - and I don't blame him. It was a horrible thing to do. I deserved what I got..."

I would have liked to say something against what he thought he deserved, but... I believed he did deserve it. How could he do that to someone? Lead someone on, make love to them, then tell them it was all a complete misunderstanding? That he didn't feel as strongly as they had felt for him? What... What kind of person was he exactly? I just... But I understood him, somehow. If anything, I compared myself to him. In the most twisted of ways. I wondered about our whole relationship. Did I play him like he played that Kisame kid? Did I lead him on, even if it meant utter humiliation to himself? It was stupid to compare our relationship like that to the death of someone. It wasn't right. But I couldn't help but wonder if Naruto and I were one in the same. Maybe we were. Just now was not the time to think about that.

I didn't know what I would say to him, though. How could I go about this? How would I be able to comfort him? How could I even swallow this information even now?

"You hate me just as much as Itachi does, don't you?" Naruto whispers shakily. I stare at him. He stares back, broken and angry at himself. I'd never seen these two emotions mesh together as roughly as his did. They looked odd on him.

In fact, he looked rather hopeless. I'd never seen him like that before as I did now. I thought he would be all rough and tough and 'fuck you, world' at everyone and everything. But he was human. There was no way he wouldn't experience these emotions as anyone ever did in everyday life. I was stupid to think he wouldn't.

I take his hand. Not as a pitiful past lover, or as a sign of wanting something more to happen between us yet again. But as a friend. I wanted to be friends.

"No, I don't." I reply. And I'm entirely truthful. "The past is the past. It sounds harsh, I know, and, yes, I may not have ever dealt with coping with someone's suicide, but I believe it helps not to think about it anymore. Don't guilt yourself into believing it was your fault. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Who knows? He never said anything about it being your fault. Maybe it was something else entirely. Maybe he had problems at home. Maybe he just couldn't bear to go on with life anymore just... Well, just because. There are many dead end reasons. But, please, Naruto, stop blaming yourself and forget about it. Don't forget about him - keep him in your heart and in your prayers forever - but forget about the whole incident entirely. Pretend it never happened. Don't blame yourself anymore. No matter how much you think it's all your fault. Just think that it probably never wasn't." My words might sound heartless and stupid and totally selfish right now, I know. Still, I thought it was the most natural thing to do, right?

People died everyday. And, yes, people killed themselves willingly everyday as well. Why would anyone dwell on one person forever and blame themselves for the outcome that had occurred? It wasn't right to affect a person like that. It could leave some serious emotional scars on that affected person. Who knew if that affected person would end up killing themselves as well because of the overwhelming guilt? It wasn't fair to them.

I watch Naruto as he takes these words and their meanings in, letting them sink in. For a moment, he thinks. It has some effect on him, but he doesn't seem thoroughly convinced. He seems calmer, though.

"You may be right... But it doesn't stop Itachi from blaming me." He says, and he suddenly looks serious. Most traces of his tears are gone. I wipe at them with my free hand. He smiles faintly against the touch. "You remind me of him sometimes. Your brother. Despite the fact that you both are related - I mean, in the same way you two handle emotionally charged situations... He talked to me the same way you talked to me right now whenever I came to him with a problem. Reasonable and logical." He lets out a chuckle. "I miss him. He was a cool guy."

I smile now. He was okay. Because I helped. And because he compared me to my brother. Normally, it would bother me because, at first, I thought he was just a dick. I don't know why, and I still don't know. But now I saw him as a brother, as someone that I aspired to be someday. I was on my way, but just a little bit differently.

"I'll let him know." I murmur, relishing in the comfort his hand gave me. Not tingly feelings or anything. I am not going down that road with Naruto again. Not for a while, at least. Sure, I had feelings for him. That was just it. Nothing more, nothing less. I look at him. "I can't guarantee he'll return the exact response, but it's worth a try, right?"

He nods, giving my hand a firm squeeze.

"Right." He sighs, then turns toward the window of where Pein and Temari sit. He turns back to look at me. "I suppose you better head back inside. I'm sure metal-face is wondering where you ran off to. And I bet he's trying to figure out a way out of Temari's questioning about you two."

I laugh.

"Yeah... I wouldn't doubt she'd be doing that. She is pretty nosy." For a moment, we both chuckle. Then I realize we're still holding hands, and I realize everything he had said earlier about missing me, caring about me, and loving me. I wondered how he was taking all this. He was handling it pretty well if it seriously was bothering him. "Would it bother you at all if we WERE dating?"

Stupid question, but I believed it was a necessity. I thought he deemed it as so, too.

But he shrugs.

"It shouldn't. But, yeah, it kind of does. Don't let me stop you from dating him, though! If you want to date him, be my guest. It's your life."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean anything by it! I just... I was just curious, you know?"

He smirks now, as if he already knew.

"You're always curious... Besides, I don't really think metal-faces suit you." Then he releases my hand and nods towards McDonald's. "Go. And tell Temari we have to leave. I have a feeling I need to go to the hospital for my hand." He massages his hand lightly and winces, but still chuckles at my concerned expression. "Just go. I'm fine. They'll probably just tell me it's a sprain or something. Wrap it up, then send me off home. Simple. I'll keep you updated, all right? Don't worry about me. Go, go, go."

Keep me updated. Hmm. He was going to text me. Well, at least, I hoped he would. It would be nice to start texting again. As friends, though. I really would like to start over fresh. We dived in too deep, too far, the first time. I believe our relationship needed a second chance. A new chapter.

I leave and head inside to the cold of the restaurant once more. I pull Pein's hoodie against my shoulders even tighter. I approach the table and am not at all surprised to find them deep in conversation about music or something. And they're laughing. That's a good sign. I smile. Pein notices me immediately before Temari does. He frowns suddenly.

"Where were you? I had to finish off your food before it got cold." He looks guilty as his eyes loom over to observe where my food WAS. Wrappers remained in place of my once-there food. I didn't even mind. He looks at me and chuckles sheepishly. "I couldn't help it. You took long..."

"Actually, charge me as guilty, too." Temari laughs, then points to her belly. "Baby made me do it." They both start laughing. I laugh, too. I've been doing that a lot lately. Laughing.

"You can't blame the baby for eating my food! It went into YOUR mouth and into YOUR belly!"

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's the baby's fault for eating most of my food instead of me digesting it, which is the reason why I'm so hungry all the time now!" She giggles.

I roll my eyes, yet still laugh. Then I remember Naruto outside. I try to stray from the fact that he sort of broke his hand.

"Oh, Naruto wants to leave. He, uhm, well, he... He just wants to go."

"Agh, I'm not even done with my food." She whines, then flips her hand at the thought of that. "Bah, I'll make him stop by somewhere." She gets up from the booth. Pein does so, too. They hug each other. She kisses him on the cheek. "It was really nice meeting you, Pein. I hope I get to hear you play one of your songs someday."

Pein nods.

"Someday, yeah. When I'm a rockstar, babe, you'll be one of the first ones on my list for VIP tickets." He replies.

Temari grins.

"Awesome sauce." She kisses him on the cheek once more, then turns to me, hugs me really tightly, and kisses me both on the forehead and cheek. I blush slightly. "You look really good, Sasuke. Keep it up. Because I hope the next time I see you, you'll be sporting abs. And I want you flashing them to me every ten seconds as if you believe yourself to be Mike The Situation, all right?"

"All right. I'll try." I snort. She nods in confirmation to this, bids us both farewell once more, then leaves.

And Pein and I are alone again. It's not awkward anymore as I expected it to be. I slip in the booth, and he does the same. Surprisingly enough, he still has food on his tray. Did he order more, I wonder? Geez, the guy was a never ending pit. I watch as he eats. He offers, but I'm not hungry. Still. He shrugs and attacks his food once more. For mere minutes, I watch him eat. He mumbles some sentences to me about my friends and such and how nice Temari is and how much it sucks he didn't get to know much of Naruto and everything, all while spewing crumbs at me. But then... He gets quiet. Not entirely, but it seems as though it isn't the food that is making him quiet.

"And, uhm, I'm okay with you being gay, by the way." He suddenly says. He grins as I stare at him incredulously. Did Temari tell him about Naruto and I? Or was he looking out the window at us? Damn, I should've known he would have been watching. I have to be more careful about my ways around him. Whatever way he found out about me being gay - whether it be by Temari, or staring out the window as Naruto and I had our moment, or it was because of school - it didn't seem like he would tell me. He raises his hands up as I blush. "No judgement here, man! I love gay people! They're the foundation of our entertainment, you know?" I can't help but bark out a laugh at that. I never would have expected for the gay community to be his source of entertainment. I didn't even think I, myself, was entertaining. I suppose I was proved wrong. He dips his French fry into ketchup and bites it. "I practically live in the gay community, you know? My most closest friends are gay, my sister's gay, and I have had some pretty gay moments with my friends, so I think I'm more than okay with people being gay." He laughs as I roll my eyes at him.

And, to be honest, I felt more comfortable around him now. I felt my life was going in the right direction now. I was developing a renewed friendship with Naruto, I was getting thinner, I was gaining more and more friends each day, and I had the most understanding friend a person could have. Whatever else God had planned for me in the later future, I challenged him to knock me off my feet, if he could. Because whatever he had planned, I was sure, would not be able to mess my good streak.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So, yeah... now you know about Itachi and Naruto and Kisame. :o I really didn't want to make it too serious, but it's the way it came out. Sorry if it didn't appeal to your taste! D:

Review, please (if you'd like)!

- With **much, much** adored love,** KK247** -


	15. My Brother, Itachi

**A/N:** Okay, a little later than late, but I tried hard, eh? :D I thought only a week or so had passed since I last got a chapter out. Turns out its been a while. :o Sorry, people! Lol. Trust me, I'm not ditching this story out for a second time - I'm sticking through with it, even through thick and thin. :) I will admit I had a bit of writers' block, but I'm okay now. XD

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>It's the first week of October now. My life is going just great. My senior year is turning out to be better than I ever would have expected. My daily routine workout is getting easier the more effort I put into it. I'm getting skinnier and skinnier. Not to a threatening amount, or to a point where it's unhealthy, but to a point where it looks like I only have one chin. I'm not as heavy as I was before, and now I can do things I've always wanted to do. Like, for instance, dance like an idiot without much of my flab slapping me in the face or holding me back from doing so. Or, you know, being able to fit into the small crevices of any two chairs without as much difficulty. Honestly, who ever knew such a thing like that would ever be possible on my part? I sure didn't see it coming. Hell, I still can't believe I've come this far just yet.<p>

Every day that I look at myself in the mirror, I'm thoroughly astounded to find a different face looking back at me. Not just literally, but figuratively, too. It's still me, of course - no doubt about it - but, I mean, I look different nowadays. So much more happier now, compared to my dreary days of flab before fab. Speaking of fab, I'm dressing better as well. The girls gave me some tips on how to dress appropriately, instead of the baggy clothes I wore to school. It wasn't just them, though. The boys came in and offered input, too. Said they didn't want me to look too put together, that I had to look cool, too, instead of looking like an Abercrombie model. No doubt about it that there was a small debate about that.

The girls said I deserved to look as such - yes, even Kagura - especially after I went through the biggest change of my life (the best compliment I've ever gotten in my life). The boys retaliated in saying that they didn't want people to think I thought of myself as a better person because of the new me, that I needed to look normal - yet cool-looking - with the message I was sending in the way I dressed (another awesome compliment).

Other than my wardrobe being updated, school is turning out to be much more easier than I expected. The assignments aren't as hard as I would've expected them to be, since, you know, it's my last and final year here, after all. I think I'm getting straight A's, compared to last year, mostly because I didn't try as hard. Too depressed about my weight and of my three best friends leaving me and shit like that. But that's not affecting me at all anymore! I'm as happy as I can be! Nothing can ever bring me down. I mean, sure, things will bring me down eventually and I AM bound to get distracted and stuff, but I suppose that won't be happening for a while. My independence does come first, after all. But I don't know what to expect at this point in my life. Mostly because the shit that's being thrown my way now is surprising even my family. Who knows what I'm to be thrown after all of that?

But enough of reflecting. I have to focus on my school work.

Yes, I'm still at school. Thankfully, it's the last class of the day, so it's not all bad. I don't have homework either, so it also makes the day even better. Finished it all while I was at lunch. Of course, while my friends were talking to me, trying to distract me, no doubt. But they weren't talking to me now. In fact, Shion, Tayuya, and Kagura were all done with their work. They were just waiting until I finished, so we could all leave.

That was one of the great things about Mrs. Inuzuka - she lets us leave as soon as we finish our work. Guaranteed, of course, that we didn't get caught by security or the principal or by other teachers. But it hasn't happened to us yet. Mostly because these girls that I hang out with are sneaky, tricky chicks - they can get past anything and anyone with very little effort. And they've also got Shion. She's charming, so that helps quite a lot when they need to get out of a pickle. Sure, they've also got Tayuya and Kagura, but Tayuya's not much of a help with her standoffish attitude. Granted, Kagura has almost the exact same attitude that Tayuya has - if only a bit more hostile - but she's the beauty of the group, so that's makes up for everything else as well. And I? Well, I'm not sure what I have just yet that gets us all out of trouble, but I REALLY hope it's something.

I look up at the clock. Thirty more minutes before school lets out. And I've only got one more question left! Easy. I scratch in my answer and hand my work in to Mrs. Inuzuka in probably about less than a minute.

And without even looking up, she says, "Don't get caught, Uchiha."

"We won't, Mrs. Inuzuka. Trust me." I respond, and, if I'm not mistaken, I sound smug. She notices, looks up from the papers she's grading, and gives me a look, smiling.

"I really hope that's true."

I do so, too. I couldn't bear to think of the idea of me running the risks of being in detention. I wouldn't last a minute in there, what with the guilt ailing me. I'm not cut out for that type of punishment. But I turn away from my government teacher - with sudden unsure confidence; contradiction, I know - and head towards my friends. They look at me, giving me a look that says they're ready to get the hell out of here. They each grab their purses and we're out the door without another thought. As expected, there aren't any security guards or teachers to watch our movements. It's safe.

Not as much, though. The security cameras are still going on - it's not like they magically go off as soon as we step out of the classroom. Although, there is a slight chance that some of the cameras don't work, but we won't take the risk of being seen by them, either way. I mean, I'm not very sneaky, but the girls are, so it's incredibly helpful that they lead the way as effortlessly and less difficult than it should be. We dodge classroom doors, hide behind corners, and finally reach the front doors. I didn't expect it to be so easy. I would have expected there to be some securities guarding the place. What was going on?

...But maybe that was just me being my paranoid self. Most security guards didn't really survey or guard the areas as securely as I would want to think, right? I've known a few couple of securities to be bribed - by students, no less - in overseeing the fact that students leave early. Sometimes even teachers. I've never actually seen this going on with my own eyes, but I've been told there have been some occasions in which this has happened before. I mean, it's expected, right? This place is a hellhole after all.

We walk out of there like we're the queen bitches - excluding me, of course, since I'm a dude; a gay dude, yes, but I was not fit to be a queen bitch, I wasn't THAT far up the gay pole yet, excuse the slutty pun - but I don't think the girls want to leave just yet. They remind themselves of their boyfriends. Oh, God. I keep forgetting these chicks have boyfriends. And they're all good guys, too. They don't ditch class like they do. Well, I mean, at least Kiba and Choji don't - they don't want to miss anything important in class, whether they're finished with their work or not - Suigetsu is the only badass who doesn't give a shit about school. Most of the time, at least. He pulls off B's. He wants to have a future, after all. With his life and with Tayuya as well.

So, we wait at the pillars. While we wait, we talk, we laugh, we bitch, and, of course, we gossip. About everything.

Now, me, I'm not the gossiping type, but the information around here is just so juicy that there is no way I'm about to pass up the chance in not talking about it. I mean, I knew people now - I actually knew who most of these people were that they talked about! I didn't expect to. But I just did. I didn't gossip about those people we were talking about rudely, nor did I criticize them for doing what they did. It was their life and - apparently, everyone's business, now - they were entitled to do what they desired to do. Or not do. Whatever.

However, I was worried about this. I shouldn't have to be, right? It was all just harmless gossip. Right? God, I really hoped so.

Thirty minutes later, the bell rings, and students come pouring out through the front doors, like a stampede. Almost immediately, the girls are found by their boyfriends. When the hell did they even get here? I only turned away from them for, like, a second. They all greet me with huge smiles, waving. I wave back, smiling. They were so friendly. Then, their attention is, yet again, diverted to their lovelies before them. And, as always, I'm the third wheel, or, in my case, the fifth wheel. Wow, double whammy.

It honestly didn't bother me that I was the fifth wheel or anything - maybe just a little bit, if anything, but nothing too drastic, at least not enough to do something about it - they all still talked to me as though their other halves weren't there. They didn't stalk off to secretive places to go make out or be alone together. Even if I asked them if they desired to be alone. They always denied the whole idea of that, and always tell me that they like my company. I'm flattered and all, but it feels as though I'm bothering them. Haven't any of them been in a situation like this one? I'm sure they have. Mind you, this is not the old Sasuke pouring in through my conscience. I always felt it rude to intrude on a couple when they were together; I always thought they'd desire to be alone. Even when with friends. Even despite the fact that they still talked to me, even when they were making googly eyes at each other, and even when they said that they liked it when I was there, that I didn't bother them. Bullshit. I'm sure they all want to leave to do private things with one another. Even if it is for the smallest of moments.

"Hey, guys, I'll be right back. I just saw one of my old friends. I'm going to go say hi." Lying. So totally lying. But they don't think much of it - nothing suspicious anyway - and I leave.

There are many people out here - many friends of mine - though not people I know from last year. Where the hell did they all go? Different schools? Did they already all go home? Unless they were still here, but I just didn't recognize them because, come on, a whole summer without seeing them? Some things about them were bound to change. Their styles, their attitudes, their hair, their... well, everything. I know I did, so there was no way in hell that people wouldn't change. Like this chick with crazy, rainbow-colored hair.

Wait a minute...

Was that...?

I turned back to the girl with crazy, rainbow-colored hair. She turned back to look at me. Pale lavender eyes. Wisps of once-blue hair peeked out from the top of her head. Her roots.

"Hinata?" I murmur. She raises her eyebrows in acknowledgement. It WAS her! What...

What happened to the old her? She looked so different. I mean, I didn't disapprove of it, or anything - not that my opinion or such mattered, when what she did was of her own accord, and hers alone; no one else's opinion mattered - it was something new and fresh. Not like it didn't fit her, or anything. Maybe it was because I wasn't used to it yet. Even so, everything I once knew about her changed. She always used to be so shy-looking, like, she never cared about makeup and dressing up and stuff like that. But now? My God, now she looked like she really put some work into becoming the type of person she was now. Kind of like I did...

I applauded her in my mind.

"Yeah?"

And her voice. The quiet voice I remembered she had... it was almost as though her voice was replaced with someone's own voice. She sounded so confident of herself. Why was she looking at me like she didn't know me? Didn't she remember me?

Oh, right. Skinny now - she remembered me when I was fat. Why the hell do I keep forgetting that?

"It's me. Sasuke!" I can't hold in the giddy feeling I get. Not even when she's trying to grasp the whole concept of my being, of the way I am now. Not even when it finally clicks in her mind. Her eyes glimmer immediately in remembrance, shock, and happiness. She grasps onto me, embracing me tightly, giggling, jumping. This time, I can actually mimic all that. And with little effort, too!

"No way. What did you... How did you... When did you...?" She stutters, still speculating me and of my new appearance. She shakes her head incredulously. She looks up at me and she giggles when I shrug. She goes back to observing me, then she embraces me once more. "I wondered about you. I was, like 'Where is Sasuke?'. I mean, I never saw you around here. I thought you left town. i tried calling you, but you never answered in those couple of months that I wanted to hand out. I tried to contact you through Facebook, but, apparently, you deactivated it. Now I know why. Well, sort of, but still! My gosh, you look INCREDIBLE!"

I liked this new Hinata. She talked more. She giggled a whole lot more. She was a completely different person. Okay, scratch that, I LOVED the new Hinata that she had become. I loved her wild hair, her wild clothes, her wild bracelets, her wild nails, her wild, mismatched socks, her wild shoes - shit, the girl was a walking rainbow of everything colorful. Better than the dreary, dull drabs she wore. No judgement about that. Honestly, though, the girl needed to crack out of her shell - she was worse off than I was - I really thought she was going to be the way she was forever. I wonder what made her change.

"You look incredible too. What happened to you, anyway? It's almost like a rainbow and Skittles had a baby together here." I motioned to her whole attire. She laughed, pulling away. Her laugh was still the same. Quiet and adorable. "Seriously, I like it and all, but WHAT happened to my dear friend?"

She shrugs. Like she really doesn't know what happened, like this has become as a whole surprise to her as well.

"I was just tired of my old stuff, tired of being, you know, the quiet, shy, predictable one. I needed to do something new in my life. I needed to be SOMEONE new. So..." She tilted her head and pointed to herself - to the new Hinata - and grinned. "In the beginning, I wasn't going to go for it, because it was so unlike me and everything, but, then, my cousin, Neji, came to visit over the summer. He told me that if I didn't take a chance, then I wasn't ever going to get anywhere in life, and people would expect me to back down from it. Which, of course, pissed me off - I wanted to take a chance, and I wasn't going to back down from what I originally wanted - so I went all Olive Penderghast on this shit." And she curses! Freely! Without guilt! Oh, praise the lords above - she was one of us now!

"I'm so proud of you." I say and mirror her grin, then I hug her just as tightly as she had done so.

She seemed so happy now. I remember when I usually ran into her or hang out with her, she always seemed hesitant to do anything. She didn't speak much, laugh much, or did anything, really. Sometimes I wonder how she even got her job. She was just so different. I never would have expected her to turn out this way. She didn't either. I think she was finally happy with herself now. I was, too. Although, I don't think that's all that changed about her, I believe. I'm sure many other internal things about her were updated as well. Just like the way I improved myself. I wasn't going to ask her about it. I didn't think it was the right thing to ask at the moment. Maybe when we get to be as tight as we were last year. Right about now we're barely getting used to one another and our differences. In fact, I'm not going to fill her in on the messiness of my life - I felt as though that was crossing the line of my personal life and just barging over the line of everything else.

Still, though, I wondered what it was that changed her - other than her cousin pushing her to do so, more or less.

"Oh, wow, how rude of me." Hinata suddenly says, smacking her forehead. She pulls away from me hesitantly and steps aside, only to reveal a fairly tall, lanky-looking guy with bright red hair and raccoon-looking turquoise eyes standing right behind her. Why didn't I notice him there before?

He wore almost the same type of clothing that Pein did, but his clothes were well-fitted. He didn't peg me as someone Hinata would hang out with. Again, she was different this time around - I didn't even know if she still hung out with the same quiet people she usually hang out with. She motioned his way, then at me, introducing the both of us. "Gaara, Sasuke. Sasuke, Gaara. Gaara, here, is new. Just enrolled here on Friday."

We shook hands.

"Hi." I say politely. Though I can't help but state the obvious out. At least, it's obvious to me. "I hope you don't mind my pointing this out, but you look a lot like one of my friends."

He smiles crookedly.

"Pein, right?"

I'm surprised. How does a new kid know Pein already? What the hell did Pein do around here? Look for new meat, or something?

"Yeah... you know him?"

"As an acquaintance, yes. He visits my English class and plays duets on the guitar with the teacher. He noticed me on my first day of class - Friday - while he was playing, then said I must be the long lost twin his brother always joked about." He shakes his head, then shrugs. "Strange guy, but he's nice."

I knew that much was true. He definitely was strange, but he was nicer than most people of his kind. Not meaning to sound judgmental or stereotyping or anything, but, come on, look at Pein - if you were to meet him for the first time, you would already have him pegged as one of the goth kids. I know I did. In fact, I still do. He agrees with me, even though he isn't at all like them, nor does he hang out with them. He's pretty normal compared to them, though.

"We were actually going out to eat right about now." Hinata says. She's smiling once more. "Discount on my part, you know?"

Huh. Would've thought she ditched working at that godforsaken place; Chuck E. Cheese's was the worst place to work at. Especially when you're working in a costume for the whole shift like Hinata was. Yup, she was that shy enough to stuff herself into a smelly costume withholding years of stale sweat. Gross, I know.

"You're still working at the same place?"

"Yup. A whole new Hinata, but you think I'm going to change my job because of that? Hell no." She noticed the expression on my face and rolled her eyes. "Hey, it's my choice if I want to be the mascot of Chuck E. Cheese's - not yours, Mr. Prissy Pants. Besides... it pays good money."

"Yeah... good, dirty, smelly, sweaty, cheesy, greasy, sauce-y money." I remark.

Gaara laughs.

"Hey, I'm with her on this one. It DOES pay pretty good money." He says, snickering. "I mean, having someone pay you to entertain children? With the patience that I know Hinata has, I'm sure she'll be bringing home the bacon for her future husband."

"Of course I will! There is no way that I'll ever let a man upstage me in bringing home the kaching-kaching! Unless, you know, the man's got some money, then, maaaaybe there's an exception." She giggled as I smack her arm lightly. "What? I said maybe there will be an exception! Maybe! You really think me to be a goldigger, Sasuke?"

I shrug to her attire. "Well, I mean... there have been some rather odd changes. Who knows if it changed you completely? Enough to be preying on the rich?"

She holds up her hand at me, as a 'whatever, talk to the hand' type of thing - so old school - as though such a thing will keep me quiet. I roll my eyes and smack her hand away lightly, chuckling. She laughs as well, then she alternates looking at both Gaara and I. She raises her eyebrows at me. I frown at her.

"What?" I ask. She scoffs, snickering, and rolling her eyes at me once more.

"Eating, Sasuke! Are you going to want to come, or what? Remember: discount. So, you can eat as much as you want, for just as low as five bucks."

"You sound like a commercial ad."

"Customers, buddy, it's all about the customers. You in, or out?"

"Now you're starting to sound like Biff from Back to the Future." I snicker and she seems irritated now. Not entirely, though - there's humor dancing around in her eyes.

Gaara laughs as this whole exchange occurs, and he laughs even more when she smacks my arm lightly. "Really! You coming?"

I nod.

"Of course, chick! You think I'm going to turn up the chance to eat food that YOU'RE paying for? Not a chance in hell. Let's go."

And just like that, a grin is plastered over her lips, then she slips her arms between both of our arms and she suddenly begins to skip towards the parking lot, as if she were Dorothy on the road to see the Wizard of Oz. We try to do so as well, but it ends up just being limbs tripping over limbs. Eventually, we collapse onto the grass, laughing. People are watching us. They laugh with us. Some even go so far as to help us up. I didn't think people could be so nice. I thank them. Hinata thanks them. Gaara thanks them. We all do so while laughing at the idiotic thing that just happened to us.

Okay, so, don't get me wrong, Pein, Shion, Tayuya, Kagura, Choji, Suigetsu, and Kiba are all fun people to hang out with, and they make me laugh about the stupidest things ever, sure, but I don't know... Now that I was finally reacquainted with Hinata - and newly acquainted with Gaara, of course - I felt as though I'd finally found what I'd been missing this whole time. I don't know exactly what it was that I was missing during the time that I was hanging out with my other friends, basking in the glory that was my popularity - maybe it was because of that that I felt like I was missing something, but who knows? - but I knew now. I needed familiarity, familiar faces - Gaara isn't familiar, I realize that, but he might as well be; he has an incredibly trusting, fun-infested face - I didn't need the mindless gossip that the girls constantly bartered about with one another, or their thoughts on each others outfits. I needed fun. I mean, no disrespect to my girly friends and the guys - all they ever talked about was bands, sports, cars, grades, or something other that didn't really interest me; maybe part of that was the reason behind it all, I didn't have anyone to share any similar interests with - but with Hinata, and, for sure, Gaara, of course, I could really relate to them. We could talk about stupid things and be understood because of it. We could act stupid and we wouldn't be ridiculed about it. Because I'm sure if I ever did something stupid or anything around the girls, Kagura would surely call me out for it. The boys would probably tease me about it.

But Hinata? And Gaara? They were chill. And I could actually carry a conversation longer with them than I would ever be able to with the girls and the guys. So, you can only imagine just how much I was looking forward to hanging out with these two. At the worst place ever, sure, but, hey, it was something.

Maybe we could all even get a picture together with Chuck E. Cheese, if he was around.

* * *

><p>When Hinata drove me back home, I was surprised. Not because she remembered where I lived or anything, no. But because I'd stayed out longer than I would have originally intended to. And on a school night. It was already midnight. Actually, not even. It was half an hour past midnight. Shoot. My parents were going to murder me.<p>

Here I thought I was going to be a changed person, a better son, but, noooo, I'm over here breaking curfew, and going out with friends without telling my parents, only to have them call me in anger and ask me where the hell I am. They told me to come home earlier - and, trust me, I was going to, right after I finished my food and played games and had a few laughs and took pictures and shit - I swear to you I was going straight home - but, well, time escaped from the three of us. And, before we knew it, we were out of Chuck E. Cheese's, then we were out on the road. It was about ten or so when we got out of there. I was relieved when we finally tore ourselves out of there, all on our own.

But you know what happens when you're hanging with friends... You get sidetracked. Again.

We stopped by the gas station to put gas in Hinata's truck, and that's all we were going to do - I told myself, and I told them; they swore they would - but, yet again, we were distracted. Not by the gas station, or whatever, but by the munchies that surrounded us IN the gas station store.

I know, I know, I'm breaking my diet by tenfold by continuing to eat junk food time and time again - I was going to break my streak - I know. However, this time it wasn't my fault; trust me! Gaara originally just wanted to buy a drink, just a coke, or something, but, somehow, he took longer than usual to find one, so, us being concerned, we followed him inside, only to find him mulling over the many decisions he had in choosing a different flavor of coke. He said he wanted to mix things up a little, that he'd never tasted a flavored soda before, and he wanted to see what all the buzz about the different types of sodas. And the chips, and the candies, and the ice cream flavors - everything. He wanted to try everything. So, to say we were on board to help him on his crazed, munchified self, would be an understatement.

Hinata and I tried to teach him of the best candies and chips and sodas and all kinds of delicious crap we'd come into contact once. And I'm not lying when I say that he wanted to try every single one. He had loads of money in his pocket to buy one of each - how, you ask, but I don't really know; I take into account that he must have rich parents or something.

However, he was a little hesitant in buying so much all by himself. He gave me one-third of his money, then he gave Hinata another third of the money. He kept the rest. Which, of course, earned us some weird looks from the cashier. That is, until we set ourselves loose like a bunch of cannons, running around in the store, picking one of every snack and drink and candy that we could find and indulge ourselves with.

It sounds crazy, right? And impossible? But it's not. We really did buy one of every snack and candy and drink. And it was expensive. Veeeeery expensive. I wouldn't recommend you try it. Even so, some money was left over. It didn't seem like it bothered Gaara much, though. Despite that we were all bugging out over it. Besides, he said, we were going to try it out with him. All of it. Which pleased us. So, we tried most of everything that Gaara and Hinata and I bought, but we didn't try it without some form of entertainment to distract us from the many flavors that were about to occur in our mouths.

We went to the drive-in to go watch whichever movie was playing. A black and white movie, an oldie of some sorts from way before our time, I believe - I didn't recognize any of the actors or actresses. We got in the back of Hinata's truck, and we lay there until the end of the movie, munching out on the goodies. We weren't really paying attention to it, though. We were making a lot of noise, laughing and mock-puking at the different tastes of everything that we tried, and all the many different combinations they all formed in our mouths altogether, which gave off a weird aftertaste right after we spit them out or swallowed them.

However, despite all of that - and the raging stomachache I got shortly thereafter - it was an adventure, one of the best I'd ever had in my life ever. I'd never done anything like that in my life before. Not even remotely close. Not that it would stop my parents from grounding me into the depths of hell for all eternity, but, hey, it's all worth it if they try to do that.

Though, I can't bring myself to step into my own house. Maybe it's the sugar running through my veins and making me shake uncontrollably, or maybe it's because I'm genuinely scared of the woman I knew was behind the door, waiting. Waiting to bestow the almighty punishment on me. Or of my brother. Or my dad. Oh, God, what if my grandmother was here? What if she was the one who would punish me this time around?

I laughed at the thought, at the paranoia seeping visibly through. Such an occurrence of that is physically impossible because my grandmother was still residing in her home. There was no way she would come on such short notice, but... You know, the whole idea of it is just so like my grandmother - so instinctive and so random - that it might as well have been possible on her part. She wouldn't do it, though? Not without calling me, right? She promised me she would call me if she was ever coming down here to come see us again, to come and check up on me and my progress. So, she wouldn't be behind that door, as much as my brain begged to differ... Right?

I feared to go through that door, still. But I had to face the music, grandmother here or not.

I opened the door slowly, for the sake of my mother's painstakingly sensitive hearing now, in regards to her pregnancy. Mostly for evading the wrath of my family altogether as well, but, surely, enough it was because of my mother. Or something like that. Once I stepped into the living room, I tried not to so much as breathe, for the sake of all that was holy of my life. I had to be really quiet, I had to watch where I stepped, I had to -

"Where were you, dear brother?"

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!"

Be still, my heart, be still; nothing happened, nothing happened. Just your stupid dick of a brother practically scared your heart out of your ass. But you're okay - nothing happened; you're fine. Or so I think. With the way I shrieked like a little girl, I believe I've woken up the whole neighborhood, especially my deep-in-slumber mother.

Itachi was sitting in the armchair across from where I stood. He rose to his feet once I shrieked and shushed me before I could make another sound, angry.

"Shut up, you idiot! You could've woken Mom and Dad up!" He hissed, clamping his hand over my mouth. I shook his hand off from my lips, grimacing.

"Well, it's not my fault you almost gave me a friggin' heart attack with your sneaky ninja-like ways of sneakiness." I said, massaging my chest, where my poor, frightened heart continued to race exuberantly. He rolled his eyes.

"It is your fault if you were a known drama queen, once a long time ago." Now I roll my eyes. He goes back to authorative brother figure, sitting back into the armchair. He takes a moment, pressing his index finger and thumb over the bridge of his nose. His features take on the serious role, and I suddenly feel terrified. I haven't seen that face in a while. Obviously my coming late could be as a source to this, but I know there's something deeper ailing him. I'd like to ask him, but, clearly, now is not the perfect time. He stares at me for a moment. "Where were you?"

"Out with friends." I reply, almost unsure of what I had done tonight, for fear of Itachi thinking otherwise entirely.

"This late?" I nod. "Didn't Mom and Dad call you right after you got out of school? So, you can come home early? Didn't you listen to them?"

"I did. I was going to come as soon as possible, but... time kind of got away from me. I'm sorry. Are they mad at me?"

"They were a little irked, but, eventually, they just... forgot about it."

"Forgot about it? About me not being home when I'm supposed to? And going out with friends without telling them, or asking them about it? And on a school night?" What? That didn't sound like my parents. "...You're kidding, right?" I murmured, frowning. "What happened? Did you drug them, or what?"

"No, they just... They got in one of their little moods, and, well, they just went up to their room. Haven't come back down since. I assume they're in a post-coital coma." The thought of that memory sent shudders up his spine. As well as mine. Gross, the thought of my parents consummating - at this age, and with a full grown baby on the way, as well - was disturbing. We both shudder. "Anyway... I think you're off the hook for now."

Say what? Off the hook? Okay, I knew something was bothering him. I knew my brother would not allow the sake of a punishment to be passed up. Especially if I came home as late as I did. This was not possible. What in the world was wrong with him?

"What do you mean? You're not going to rat me out? You're not going to punish me on behalf of Mom and Dad? When they've forgotten all about it? Are you really going to pass up the possibility of a once in a lifetime chance to ground me for all eternity? Really, Itachi? What is -"

"Now you're taunting me? Do you want to be punished, little brother? I can arrange that. I can remind them how you disregarded their calls and came home way after midnight. I assure you I can do that."

Jerk. He didn't have to taunt me for it.

"...Tattletale." I grumble, but then a smile creeps over my lips. A small smile, but, nevertheless, a grateful smile. "Thank you, though. You didn't have to do that, but thank you, either way."

I start to head up the stairs to my bedroom. Maybe I'll stop by the restroom first. All that crap I ate is about ready to come back out. Both ways.

"Wait, Sasuke, don't go yet. I, uh, I have to talk to you about something. It's about Naruto..." Naruto? What? Since when was Itachi interested in talking about Naruto? In, like, ever? Didn't he hate him? Maybe he still did, but I didn't know. Even more, I bet, once I was in the picture. I go back downstairs and settle myself onto the couch, watching him as he takes in deep breaths. Finally, after a while, he looks up at me. "He came by today, while you were hanging out with your friends." He did? Why? Did he need to talk to me or something? He could have just called me... "He wanted to talk to me. Said he had talked to you the week before about... well, about our situation. And I just... I just want you to understand something, Sasuke. I don't hate Naruto. I just hate what he did to Kisame. Understand me when I say that when I didn't want you anywhere near him was because I thought he would do the same thing to you. I thought he would set you up to kill yourself like Kisame did. He was about your age, you know? He reminded me so much of you. Which was why I was so close with him and..." Tears welled up in his eyes. He looked away from me, swallowing.

I don't think I've ever seen my brother like this. Hell, he's never even talked about this Kisame character, though. I only knew of him now because of Naruto, which I now think wasn't right to go by. Finding out information from an ex-boyfriend, rather than your brother? Kind of rough, right? So, seeing so much emotion come from him like this - emotions like these pouring out of him like they were now - they were rare. Speaking of which, I don't think I ever seen him cry ever in my life before. Much less, be affected so much by someone - other than Sakura, of course - like he was doing so now. I honestly thought he was the most emotionless man alive. But, as usual, I'm wrong about the most obvious things.

"I lost control that day of the funeral. You know that, right? I'm sure Naruto told you...?" He continued, then looked at me, eyes full of pain. I nod. Slowly. I do it slowly because I don't know if it's the right thing to do or not, considering the subject of Naruto is lingering here. "I hated him so much. I still do, to this day, but... I don't know anymore. He came over today. I, of course, almost lost my head - as usual - he was calm. He didn't come looking for a fight. I'm sure he never did." He shakes his head, disgusted with himself, I bet. I would be too if I picked a fight with someone who wasn't willing to do so. He looked down at his hands, sniffling. "He just wanted to talk. So, I let him in. We talked. For a long time. We talked about Kisame. About his funeral, about all the good times we had together, about... about what they had done about a week with Kisame before he died. I told him I didn't forgive him for it, but, then, well, he offered a valid point. 'There's no point dwelling on the past anymore. People die every day, they've lived their life, then they pass on to the next life - they've moved on. If they can move on to another life, then I believe we can, too. We can be friends again. Start fresh.'" My brother suddenly chuckles. "Wise words from someone who couldn't pass English 101. So, obviously, there is no way that realization could come directly from him. If anything, it sounded like it came from you."

For a moment, we stared at each other. Silence seemed to stretch on forever. Until, finally, I tore my eyes away, not bearing to know what he knew of Naruto and I and of our relationship. With just a look? Yeah, just a look. He was my brother, after all; how could I stand to face him now? But, I mean, how much could he possibly now? Naruto was not a guy to tell anyone, especially after I told him not to. And I suppose Itachi wasn't the type of brother to uncoverrelationship his younger brother's relationship with his once-best friend. I couldn't know for sure, but I was, more or likely, leaning more to Itachi disregarding all of that. He didn't like Naruto, so what was the point of asking anything else about him and about me?

But... What if they were talking again? What if Itachi didn't hate him altogether anymore? What if they were best friends again? What if they decided to tell each other everything about the one year gap in their friendship? What would they tell one another?

Okay, no, no, no, Sasuke. No paranoia anymore. You're not like that anymore. So, big deal - what IF they talked about our relationship? Or whatever it was they talked about. Big effin' deal, right? They talked. Nothing much I could prevent from happening anymore. Going with the flow. Just taking it in stride.

"Yeah, I told him most of that. I didn't think it would actually stick since, well, it's not my place to say anything at all. It didn't happen to me. I'm not obliged to do so, but I think I should have; it was really messing with the both of you. And it was -"

But Itachi cut me off, shaking his head.

"You were absolutely right, though, Sasuke. We shouldn't cling to the past. It's stopping us from what we're doing, and what other people want to do, but neither of us can do because the other is not letting another be free enough to do so. And... I think you know what I mean by that." Of course I did, but I wasn't going to dwell on it. It was all in the past. Naruto and I weren't together anymore. So, whatever it was that my foolish brother did back then, didn't matter anymore. Still, he wasn't just going to let it go that easily. "I'm sorry, little brother. I didn't mean to interfere in the way of your relationship with him - your first relationship, no less - but you have to understand what I was feeling around that time. I thought he was going to do the exact same thing to you as he did with Kisame. That you would just lose yourself in it all and just... Surrender to him, shamelessly. Without even so much as a second thought."

I remembered the party. The alcohol. Naruto and I, alone. Together. In his room. Making out. And, if I do remember correctly, I practically did lose myself in his presence, with him. It could have led to somewhere - losing something - I would later regret in life. Yet I didn't. I wasn't just anyone that Naruto would use one night and forget about. I was Sasuke. I was a thick guy. As the saying goes, 'elephants never forget,' well, I was sure enough not to let it go.

"I don't give in that easily, Itachi. You should know that by now. I'm different. Kisame was in a different state of mind than I was." Not exactly, but I wasn't in love with Naruto like he was. Sure, I was infatuated, though I didn't succumb myself to him as easily as he did. "If you hadn't noticed by then, Naruto's a different guy. He wasn't the same guy that you had known when he first met me, I'm sure. Certain things can change a person."

"I know that now. I didn't know it, then." He looks down at his feet, then he looks back up at me, frowning. "When did you turn into a Mr. Know-It-All?"

I laugh, shrugging.

"I suppose spending time with Grandma has its perks. She is a wise woman, after all." I reply.

He nods, agreeing.

"That woman could have been a psychologist, if she wanted to. Or a self-help guru, or something." I knew what was coming, what he would ask me. He wasn't the only one to ask me. My parents had asked me before. I didn't tell them, and I highly doubted I would tell my own brother. "Why did you go over to Grandma's, anyway? Was it because of...?"

"No." I said. Much too quickly. He waited for my response. "I just needed a change of pace from this life, you know? I was tired of who I was. I didn't really... Like who I was when I was with... Naruto." I mumbled his name, for both our sake. I mean, I didn't know if saying his name was safe - was Itachi on okay terms with him for it to be fine enough with the whole situation for me to actually be able to say his name? Enough to associate it with me? In relationship terms, I mean.

I supposed it was fine. He wasn't lashing out at me or anything. Maybe he was finally okay with this. Maybe. Or maybe he was trying hard not to let it bother him that I once dated an older man. Oh, God, that sounds gross. I'll just say a college man. Not better, but it sounds pleasing. Refined, almost.

"What happened between the two of you? I tried asking Naruto about it, but... he wouldn't tell me. He said he would be violating the terms you set out for him." Terms? What terms? "Well, he didn't put it that way, but it sounded like you put him up to it not to say anything about the relationship." I couldn't believe it. Naruto was keeping the whole situation on the DL, even if my brother asked for the messy details of it all. Why couldn't Naruto be a jerk like most ex-boyfriends were and exploit me as the bad guy? Why couldn't my first relationship with him be all dramatic and shit? It wasn't in Naruto's nature, I guess, to be that way. Especially if he was still in love with me.

What if he told Itachi about that? What if that was the reason as to why he was asking me the reason to my splitting with him? It could be that, or it could be something else entirely. Like, oh, I don't know, the sole reason that my brother cares about me, and wants to know of my life. Either way, I was overthinking it by a lot. Still, I couldn't help but wonder.

"...I wasn't ready for a long-term relationship. I don't think I could handle it. As corny as it sounds, I have to love myself first before I love anyone else." I laugh nervously, suddenly adopting the habit of Naruto, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Ah, yes, I should've known. First relationships usually are hard to transition into. Having to rely on someone while making decisions." I wasn't so sure of that. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Did I rely on Naruto most of the time? I couldn't remember. "...Look, I know it's not my place to say or anything, but I never realized Naruto was such a good guy - maybe I knew, at some point, deep in my heart - I never realized how much he cared for you. He didn't tell me anything about your relationship, but he did tell me what he felt for you. What he STILL feels for you." Oh, God. This wasn't something I wanted to talk about with my brother. Anything but this. I start to fidget around in my seat. I'm about ready to leave. Unless Itachi brings up a different topic. Please, let him bring up another topic, please, please, please. "I know you don't want to talk about this, but I just want you to know what he told me."

"I know all of this already." I murmur. "He told me, too."

"But... Don't you care? Does it matter to you? Do you feel the same way, too?"

"Itachi, I don't think this is something I'd want to talk about with you. This is personal."

"But you're my baby brother. I have a right to know."

"Yes, you do have a right to know, but that doesn't mean I'm going to provide such information to you just like that; that's MY decision."

Why did he, all of a sudden, just start caring whether or not I felt the same way about him? Did Naruto put him up to the task or something? Because if he was trying to figure it out, then that was some serious middle school bullshit. Not that it was bad - it was kind of cute, actually. Next thing I know, Naruto's going to start sending me love letters via Itachi, now that they were fine with one another. I wouldn't worry about it too much, though. Yet I couldn't shake the feeling that he might do that, probably just to get some sort of rise out of me, or something.

"Fine, fine. I understand. Entirely your business." My brother said, finally giving in on the pointless questioning, holding his palms up in defeat. He was serious now. "But if you ever have another relationship again, I promise I will not interfere this time around... Unless, you know, the guy you're dating next happens to be a total douche and treats you like shit, then, of course, I will gladly step in and punch his face into the back of his head. Just for you, little brother."

Nice to know.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." I snicker, laughing at the whole idea of it. Not that I didn't believe he would punch someone's face into the back of their heads. I totally believed he would do so - hell, he pummeled Naruto countless times, I'm sure - but there was no way I was going to let him do that again. No drama. Even so, I wasn't about to let my brother fight my fights for me. I'd let him do so one too many times in my life, back when I was smaller. Especially more now, now that I was older. "But I think I'm able enough to handle things on my own."

"Only you would think that, Sasuke. Not that I don't believe you aren't able to. I suppose you are. I'm just letting you know that I'll be beside you, waiting, if anything goes wrong in those relationships of yours." He tells me. "I promise."

I roll my eyes, but I know he's capable of living up to that promise. He was my brother, after all - it wasn't like he could just ignore the fact that his younger brother was on his own in the relationship department - but, no matter what, there was no way he was about to leave me be without his promise of protection.

"I know that."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Welp, I finished. Geez, it took me this long? Dammit, I'm losing my fire, man. D: But it's all good. It's slowly coming back. :D This chapter didn't have much to mull over - at least to me - still, it was something, right? Hopefully, the next chapter will be good. :)

In the meantime, you can leave me reviews, eh? Tell me how much you love this story, or whatever it is you would like to say. Any little bit counts. :B Inspires me, even. So, go on; review!

- With much, much **adored** love, **KK247** -


	16. Chances

**A/N: **I was writing this under the influence of Kpop, so thank those artists worthy of my burst of inspiration. :D Even if I couldn't understand what they were saying. Lol. Like I said before, there is no way I'm ditching out on this story ever again. It's my baby. :) But, anyway, I hope you like this chapter 'cause I loved writing it. :D Although, there were some scenes that were a bit tough to write, due to weak inspiration. But I pulled through! Yeah! Haha. So, I hope what I've written makes up for the sorta long wait. I'm sure I'll speed it up, now that I'm out of school. I'm not making any promises, but that is all I will say for now. Lol.

Welp, enjoy! :D

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>I've never been one to dance. Or drink. Or party. Much less, even be around with so many friends at once doing all three. With all them watching me and my mad dancing moves. Or, in my case, spasmodic, jerking dancing moves, at least from what I felt, anyway. Hell, I wasn't even sure anyone could see me doing all this with most of the bright neon lights flashing on and off of each person's face on the dance floor.<p>

Now you're really confused, I bet. Am I right? You could be wondering, 'Where the hell is Sasuke?', or 'What do you think Sasuke's doing right now?' You would be thinking that I'm home, helping around, reading, watching TV, working out - maybe - eating, or studying. Right? Well, to be honest, I would think I would be doing all that right now, too. But I'm not, as surprising it is might sound to everyone. Especially my family. I honestly thought I'd be lazing around the house, vegging out in front of the television set, WISHING I had something to do, someone to hang out with. Damn, okay, I'll admit it; even if someone had called me during the time that I was wishing for attention, I bet you anything I would have denied the invitation. Just for the sake of being lazy, and not wanting to do anything at all, anyway.

My logic. Flawless. Be jealous.

So, you can only imagine my surprise to find myself saying yes to Kagura's celebratory eighteenth birthday party. At a club. Yeah, I know. A club? Like, what the hell?

Originally, I WAS going to turn her down, but then I heard the music and yelling and laughing and calls for my name. But, honestly, how was I going to turn down an invite? Especially when there were people calling out for me? At Kagura's birthday party, no less. So, I suppose I was in no way to deny such a request for me. Right?

...Okay, no, that was totally uncalled for. That made me sound like a conceited bitch.

I wasn't going because my friends insisted on my going - as well as Kagura - but I wanted to go because it was Kagura's eighteenth birthday. And no way in hell was I going to miss an event like that one, if she wanted me to attend. Despite that clubs didn't really fit my style just yet. Even in my changed state.

Kagura had invited Pein. He offered to pick me up, even if he was already at the club. I told him he didn't have to, but, being the nice guy that he was, he said he would, no matter what I said.

She didn't invite Gaara and Hinata, since, well, she hadn't really gotten to know them enough to offer an official invitation. Besides, I don't think she really liked them. In fact, I think she was pretty jealous of them, over anything else, over how close I was with them. Which was weird, considering the fact that her and I aren't even that close. She still gives me these dirty looks and stuff, but she's civil, despite all that. Which is even weirder.

But, anyway...

Pein picked me up. Not on his motorcycle. His mother convinced him to drive in a car. 'Much safer,' as she had quoted, and Pein mimicked. Thank God. I don't think I'd be able to handle riding on a motorcycle on this day. Good thing his mother has more common sense than he does.

He arrived in less than ten minutes. Although, trying to convince my parents took more than that. Eventually, after much - MUCH - begging and promising not to drink, get too wild, come home TOO late, and promising them they could punish me for all eternity if I broke any of these rules, they let me go. A risky decision, I know. But what kind of friend would I be if I didn't come to Kagura's party? Right? Even if she was a total bitch. I mean, I'm sure she would come to my birthday party, if I were to invite her to my next one, right? She had a heart. Somewhere. Deep down in the bottomless pit of her heart.

...One can only hope.

Getting to the club didn't take long. Pein drove pretty fast. Not like crazy, Fast and the Furious kind of driving, but the get-out-of-my-way-I'm-in-a-hurry kind of driving. Not safe, I know. I was practically shitting my pants the entire time he drove - not entirely, but it sure felt like I was - clutching onto my seatbelt for dear life, as though such a thing were to actually save my entire being from dying a most painful death. He just laughed at my reaction, and said I had nothing to worry about. He had never crashed before in his life, he said. So calmly. Like those very words would soothe my panicky state.

Which did the opposite, really.

I lost my shit. Not literally. Figuratively. Because that would be so gross. But I called him out on his remark. I asked him how he could say it so calmly when he was driving over the normal speed limit? What if the police had been driving through the streets he went through? What if we had crashed as soon as he said that? I honestly couldn't help the way I was acting. I was acting all paranoid about something so stupid. Well, it wasn't stupid, but it was a pretty big deal. Yet he acted like it wasn't. Like saying he had never crashed before would give him the opposite of what he'd originally said. I was afraid. He understood that. He still laughed at me, though.

When we arrived to the club, I wasn't surprised to find a ton of cars parked all over and around, like it was their grand opening or something. Bright neon flashing lights blinded me. Even from a mile away, one could see them. Loud techno music pulsed through the walls and into the night, against the soles of my feet as Pein and I approached the club. My body vibrated with pleasure. Mind you, it wasn't the dirty kind of vibrating pleasure. It was just pleasing. It was like the music was connecting with me; it was luring me in.

However, despite that the beat of the music was pleasing, and that the lights were all awesome and colorful and all - even if they WERE blinding me to infinity and beyond - I still couldn't find it in me to enjoy most of this experience. I still thought the music was loud, I still despised the horrid taste the alcohol provided for my tastebuds - how I managed to get alcohol without risking revealing my age, I didn't know - I still didn't dance as good as I would have hoped (I was already breaking rules - I was such a bad son; why did I have to promise anything?). I was having fun and all dancing with the girls and the boys and everyone else. Sure, I didn't enjoy the drinking, but I still did it, since it helped me let loose just a little bit. And it helped me not to think about how much less fun I was having without Hinata and Gaara.

But I managed. I danced the night away. With each song that played, I drank. With every light that flashed, I find another partner to dance with. Whether it was a boy or a girl, I didn't know; I couldn't exactly tell. Either way, I was laughing and dancing and drinking and having fun, taking it all in with the slightest of my worries.

I keep going back for alcohol, without getting caught all throughout. Strange, right? I suppose not. It is mostly Kagura's family around here. They seem pretty loose with the rules around here, considering the idea of alcohol being consumed by mostly everyone here at the club. I'm surprised the people giving it out to me aren't calling the cops or security on me. They all must be related to Kagura's family because I know that, for sure, there was no way they would let it pass so easily. God, why the hell do I keep going back for more? I promised I wasn't going to drink. What the hell was wrong with me?

Well, I guess I don't need to worry about that much right now. My mind is all fuzzy and I'm much too distracted by the flashing lights in the club, on the dance floor, on me. The attention on me is infectuous. I don't even know why I have all the attention. Everyone's cheering for me. They're all clapping and smiling and laughing. But they're all morphing into one huge blur. Am I dancing? Or am I spinning? What the fuck am I doing? Have I spilled my drink?

But my foot catches, and then I'm falling. I don't have time to catch myself. Or my drink. It's a sad thing, my drink falling. I crash onto the floor, and my drink splashes onto the dirty, flashing dance floor - there's no way to save it. Or myself. But I'm the least of my worries, I believe. I start to reach out for my fallen drink - a fallen warrior, my love - I can try to salvage the little that is left inside the glass. There's not much left, but it may be enough. Yet an arm wraps around my waist suddenly, yanking me up, yanking me away from the death of my short-lived friendship with my drink. There were other drinks, I know, but I hadn't finished that one...

The arm that's wrapped around my waist drags me to the bar. I can't tell who it is, so, knowing me, I panic, and I start flailing around, hitting my "savior". I get a good couple of punches in, but that doesn't make whoever is holding me, release. A voice above me only grunts a series of curse words and a frustrating noise entangled with my name. Obviously, it's a guy. Probably Pein. Maybe one of the guys. Maybe someone else entirely that I talked to. I still don't halt from attacking and flailing about. At least, not until I'm seated onto a stool, then I'm able to take note that it was, in fact, Pein who dragged my drunken, clumsy ass from the dance floor. For a moment, I try to make sense of the height difference. I start to tip slightly from the stool, and, before I can fall onto the floor once more, Pein takes a hold of me yet again, stilling my drunken, swaying, dizzying movements. I shove him lightly, more or likely, telling him that I can handle it on my own. At least, I think I do...

"You clearly can't, my dear friend." He settles me on the stool. Again. I use his chest as support, leaning on him, to still the swaying ocean that I hear swishing around in my brain. I giggle stupidly and shake my head, listening to my brain swishing and sloshing and intermingling with the alcohol. Pein snorts. "How many have you had?"

"A few...? I don't remember." I snuggle onto his chest, taking in his scent. I don't even notice I'm doing it. Does he even care? I know I don't. At least not right now, anyway - I'm too drunk off my ass to care too much. I inhale deeply, take in his scent yet again. He smells of cologne. Nothing at all like alcohol or smoke or anything hazardous, like, say, I don't know, motorcycle fumes. Surprisingly enough, he smells pleasing. Not that he never did, but I was only just noticing this now. Too much. "You smell good." I giggle stupidly once more and yank him by his collar, towards me, sniffing him. He certainly wasn't expecting that. He was thoroughly surprised by my action, mostly because I'd never would dare to do such a thing if I were sober.

He loses his balance. We tumble to the floor. I fall on top of him as he takes the fall. He grunts out breathlessly. And I'm thankful that I'm skinnier than I was many months ago, or I would have flattened him like a pancake. Then I'm laughing at the thought of that. Loudly. Probably even louder than I would have liked to. Maybe louder than the pounding music trembling through my fingertips. The vibration feels good against my body, feels even better through Pein. I remain on top of him, snickering, but the moment doesn't last long. He starts to get up, lifting me by the arm carefully. And, as he lifts me up, I lean on him. So close.

"Okay, yeah, we're taking you home. You are piss drunk. Besides, you have to be home in half an hour." Has it been THAT long already? Wow, time sure flied when one's getting as drunk as I am. What time WAS it, anyway?

We start to walk. More like stumbling, on my part, though. He keeps a firm grip on me, eyes focusing straight ahead, straight through the flashing lights, seeing beyond them and towards the exit of the club. He looks so serious. I bark out a laugh, poking at his face. I poke at both the corners of his lips, pulling them down, straight into a frown.

"Why so serious?" I say in a mocking voice. And then I'm laughing like I've never laughed before as he struggles to swat my hands away. I throw my head back in laughter. Too far. My whole back falls onto the arm that Pein is handling me with. There's a moment in which we lose our balance, but he catches us before we fall. Again.

"You need some coffee in your system. Your parents will kill me and ground you for all eternity if I bring you home like this." I can hear him grumbling.

There are catcalls and whistles for us. They're calling out my name. I giggle at the attention. I can hear them asking where we're going, why were we leaving so early from the party, why weren't we staying longer, what was wrong with me. Pein had the sole honor of telling them that I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to be partying anymore. As if on cue, I giggle like a stupid idiot. Yes, I can hear myself doing these things. No, I'm not capable of stopping them from escaping my lips. It just tumbles out. Then, before I make any sense of anything else, we're out of the club. We're walking to Pein's car.

Once he gets the door to the backseat open, he leads me in gently. He releases me as I climb in. What he's not prepared for, however, is my pulling him by his collar with me. Into the backseat with me. On top of me. I can't help it. I can't control myself. I can't control my mind.

I can't control my lips.

I find myself leaning forward to press them forcefully against his. Hard. Kissing him much too roughly for my taste, for my style. I lick his lips tentatively as my sign of apology, as though to cure the temporary pain I just caused him, then I pull away, caressing the nape of his neck softly, running my fingers through his brightly colored hair. He shivers at the touch, lips parting.

He has his eyes closed. Slowly, he opens them, revealing gray orbs of tantalizing light. The light of the moon make them look translucent - beautiful. There was something different about him, though. He looked much more... normal. Is this the real Pein? I trace my thumb over his skin, his cheeks, his eyelids, his eyebrows, his cheeks, his lips - I try to make some sense if this really is him. It feels like him, but, at the same time, it doesn't. Even though I've never felt him like this; up close and personal, I mean. What...

And I finally notice. His six piercings are out. He looks remarkably normal and so... beautiful. However, as much as it pains me to think so, he reminds me so much of Naruto. Why hadn't I noticed this earlier?

The eyes. Sure, they were a different color, but with the light of the moon, they seemed to give off the impression that they were a deeper color, for some reason. As well as the hair. A different color. Orange and blond. Pein and Naruto. So alike in appearance these two people were. Yet how completely different they were, too. But I couldn't find it in me to distinguish the two apart. Because, when I looked at Pein, I saw Naruto, and I saw everything I found myself loving about him.

The thing was, though, Pein didn't roll that way. He wasn't gay like I was. Right? I'm not sure anymore - he's still on top of me. He's staring at me, as though noticing me for the first time in his life ever, like a boy would notice a girl. Like a love at first sight kind of thing. And he's swallowing. Like he's nervous. Which was weird. He wasn't like that, right? He didn't like me like that. He was a boy. He liked girls. He did boy things. He rode a motorcycle, he played video games, he watched gore-filled movies, he listened to metal bands - he didn't fit the criteria of a typical gay guy like I did. Though, neither did Naruto.

But just what was wrong with this picture, though? Why did being near Pein like this - up close and personal - feel so wrong? Why was I hesitating to kiss him, when he so clearly wanted to?

...I don't think I was all too drunk anymore. I don't think he cared much whether I was or wasn't drunk. It seemed as though he was interested in just me. And only me. Impossible. He wasn't like that. Right? He was in the moment. He probably had one too many drinks like I did. And, even if he did, there was no way I could notice - or anyone else could, for that matter - he looked completely sober. But was he sober enough to realize what he was doing? What I did? Because I was sure he wasn't gay. Like I said, he was too much of a guy. Guys didn't go around letting other gay guys - such as me - kiss them if they were straight. Especially if they were in an inebriated state of mind.

However, all form of thinking and comprehending - yes, I still think and comprehend things, even in my drunken state, surprisingly enough - escaped my mind as soon as he climbed in the car with me completely, fully, cradling my face as he brought his lips down to meet mine. The kiss was tender. Albeit our lips were a little chapped, it was pleasing, more than anything else in the world. Especially now when when I realize the more I kiss him, the more I start to realize it's Pein who's kissing me and touching me. Not that it bothers me, or anything, but I never would have thought it would be someone like HIM to kiss me. I hardly thought I would be enjoying it either. Maybe because I never looked at him in THAT way.

But...

I guess... Just maybe I did. I mean, we hung out a lot, he was nice, he asked me what was wrong when no one else had the time to, he made me laugh - not to mention he was cute, too; but you never heard that from me - he was just an all-around good guy. He was an especially good guy now with the way he was kissing me.

I clutch onto him, pulling away briefly to adjust myself against the seat, breathing heavily. He looks at me through half-lidded - somewhat disoriented, too - eyes. They looked darker. He looked hotter. I swallow. Who knew he could look so irresistible? He takes me by the waist and brings me closer, so close I can smell his breath.

His breath...

From what I could tell, not a single drop of alcohol touched his lips. Which freaks me out. He starts to lean in to kiss me once more. His hand trails up my leg. He grips it tightly. He brings me closer. He starts to breathe as heavily as I am doing just now. He grips the back of my neck, bringing our lips closer together. I want to kiss him. He wants to kiss me, too.

But I push him away and lunge for the door instead, and I upchuck the rest of my night onto the granite.

* * *

><p>I don't really know how or when I stumbled into my room. Or what time I got home. Or who took me home. Or anything. All I knew now was that it was morning already. For a brief moment, I was worried. Wait, scratch that; I was fucking terrified.<p>

What the hell happened last night? Was I in trouble? What did I do?

I lunge for my phone that is on my nightstand. I hope to find some sort of information from someone there. Maybe I sent a drunken text, maybe a drunken phone call was made, or something...

But I recoil. The action is too sharp, too forced; the sun is too bright, my room is too cold. My head feels like its been smashed with hammers over and over again. There's a buzzing in my ears that I can't seem to rid of. Everything seems too loud, too bright... TOO. FUCKING. MUCH. I feel like throwing up, but I don't know if I can. My throat feels like its been grated with sandpaper. My mind can't process most of this. I feel so sick.

My God. Just exactly how much did I drink? Too much, knowing me, of course. Agh. What time is it, anyway?

I look over at my alarm clock, sitting innocently on my nightstand, unbeknownst to the shit that is about to go down on my part. It's a quarter past nine. On a Friday.

I'm fucking late for school.

Ignoring the pounding, kill-me-now, headache that is pulsing through my brain, I leap out of bed and quickly slip into random clothes that I find laying around my room, and I stuff my phone in my pocket. For a couple of moments, I'm unsteady, and there's that gurgly feeling in my stomach acting up, as well as the need to vomit crawls up my throat. I'm not exactly in my right mind to be moving about so quickly and so unexpectedly, but I'm so unbelievably late for school that certain measures have to be taken.

Quickly, I speed through my daily routine. Brush my hair, brush my teeth, chug a glass of water down to calm my shaky nerves, and ebb the feeling of a dry throat, then I grab my backpack and I'm out of the house and on my way to school. As soon as I'm out of the house and driving out on the road, racing on throughout my way to school - at a respectable speed, mind you; don't want cops catching up to me when I'm fighting the most brutal of hangovers, especially on the day that I'm super late to school - a million thoughts race through my mind. Like, for example, where the hell was my family, or why hadn't they taken the time to wake me up, or why the hell couldn't I remember exactly what happened last night, or how I got home, or anything?

I was more worried about my parents, though. Where were THEY? And why would they willingly let me sleep in on a school day? Without any warning of some sort? Or a note. Nothing.

Unless...

I bring the car to a complete stop. The tires screech harshly, and the pounding in my brain gets stronger. I yank out my phone from my pocket and flip it open. Sure enough - missed calls. Seven of them. Along with thirteen unread messages. From Kagura, Shion, Tayuya, Hinata, my father, Itachi, and Pein. And all these messages... Most of them were from Itachi, the others were from Pein. Hell, since when had I gotten so popular? In such little time? Especially after the night of Kagura's party, where I hadn't remembered a single I had done? Oh, man, I didn't even want to think about that.

My biggest worry was my mother. She could be going into labor. She probably could have already had my little sibling. Maybe. I didn't know anything just yet. They probably just had other important things to do. I shouldn't be so quick to jump the gun, right?

Right. But I had to be sure.

I scrolled to my contacts list quickly, hitting my brother's phone number. I wait until he picks up, but it seems like forever that he finally does so.

"Hello?" He sounded tired. Weary. Like he must have been up all night. Or, you know, maybe he just woke up or something. Either way, it worried me, and heightened my worry by tenfold, if anything else.

"Itachi, hey. You called me? What's wrong? Is Mom okay?"

I heard him mumble something sleepily before answering, groaning. "Yeah, she's fine. Just had false labor. Doctor said something about Braxton-Hicks contractions. He said they're common along the third trimester." Towards the last sentence, he yawned. "The body's way of telling Mom the baby's coming, a way of telling her to get ready for the 'real thing'. Other than that, though, she's fine. Just resting, for now." He yawned again. He was really tired. And I wondered just how long ago that was that my mother had these 'contractions'.

However, I could feel every single muscle in my body relax for my mother. I smile and lean my head back against the headrest in relief. I wasn't about to miss the biggest moment of our family's life. Missing the arrival of my little brother or sister was kind of a big deal for me. So, it was a good thing that these Braxton-Hicks contractions were withholding the kid in my mom for a while more. Well, it wasn't exactly a good thing, but, I mean... You know what I mean, right?

I let out a breath, wiping my sweaty forehead.

"What about you? Are you okay? You sound tired. How long have you been up?" I asked, running my free hand through my hair.

"A while. But, yeah, I'm all right. I'm not tired, just a little sleep deprived. Nothing I can't handle. I mean, come on, I've been through college..." He laughs at his little joke. I laugh, too, as a way of trying to humor him slightly, in his weary state. He sighs suddenly. "What about you, though? How was the party? I didn't get a chance to ask you. When Pein brought you in, you were completely knocked out." He sounded suspicious now. Man, I knew what was coming now. "Is there anything I should know about, Sasuke? Did anything happen last night at that party?"

I couldn't tell him everything. Mostly because I couldn't remember just exactly what happened... I couldn't tell him nothing either. But I couldn't tell him I had been drinking. I'd promised my mom and dad that I wasn't going to drink, or do anything remotely stupid. Yet that was the case. I did something so incredibly stupid last night - drinking and partying hard, for sure - which only highlighted the reason as to why I couldn't remember anything. Why couldn't I remember anything? Just exactly what had I done? I needed answers. Why didn't I have any?

Wait. The messages. Pein had messaged me several times. He was the only one who knew what had gone down last night. He was the one who had brought me home. He had to know what had happened, right? He had to know just how many drinks I had had. He was keeping an eye on me, for sure. He was my designated driver. He was my answer to everything that had happened. He was the one who had to make sure I wasn't causing any harm or problems to myself or to anyone else around me. Well, okay, I WAS supposed to be doing that all on my own. Limiting myself. But he could have certainly helped, right? Served as a helping hand? More or likely? He was my friend.

Oh, God. He was still my friend, right?

"Sasuke. Hey. I'm still here. Did you do anything at that party?" Man, I wish I could tell him. I think he knew already, at some level, knowing my drunken past. Would I ever change? Geez. "You did something stupid, didn't you?"

"I don't..." No, Sasuke, no! Don't tell him! "I don't remember..." Aw, yeah, you're dead. "But, don't worry! I'm going to get answers! Pein can tell me what happened, what I did last night - he was the one who brought me home, right? So, he should know everything I did last night at that party, for sure. I can probably assure you it was nothing stupid..." I was so totally lying through my teeth. Itachi saw right through this. He was smart enough to do that. I, on the other hand, was not.

"You idiot! 'Don't worry'? Are you stupid? Of course I'm going to worry! You were drinking, weren't you? That's why you don't remember anything! God, Sasuke, THIS is why Mom and Dad advise you not to drink or anything before you go out! Why don't you ever listen to them? Why can't you ever go to a party and stay sober until the rest of the night? I can't believe... you are... Agh!" I could practically see him pacing back and forth, wherever he was, pulling at his hair, at my stupidity. "You know what? I'm tired of this. I can't STAND hearing that you're out partying and getting drunk - on a SCHOOL NIGHT, no less! - and then hearing you say that you can't remember anything that happened last night? Nothing at all? No! That's it. That's the last straw for me. I will not stand by and let you do this under Mom and Dad's noses! They have a right to know, and they have a right to ground you while you're still living under their house and under their rules! I'm not letting this go by unnoticed. I'm telling Mom and Dad. I'm done with trying to keep this all a secret from them."

"No, Itachi, please! I'll find out what happened, and I'll tell them myself! Nothing bad happened; I promise!" I didn't know about that. Drinking and partying on a school night WAS pretty stupid.

"It's not about that, Sasuke! I mean, yes, it worries me, and it matter and all that. It's just..." He sighed, frustrated. "You're my little brother. Stuff like this makes me anxious. You shouldn't be going out there to drink and party. You should be at home. Studying. Worrying about what college you should be going into. This is your LAST year, Sasuke. Sure, you can still have fun. But limited fun - limited, SAFE, harmless fun. Have you thought about joining the student council? Or the prom committee? Or a sport? All of that stuff's fun." I could hear the frustration build up on the other side of the line. "You just CAN'T do that stuff, Sasuke. Drinking and partying. You're not supposed to do any of this right now. You are still MUCH too young. Can't you at least wait until you're twenty-one? When you're much older, and much, much, MUCH wiser?"

I'm sure he didn't wait until he was twenty-one to do any of the stuff I was doing. I'm pretty sure he was doing this as soon as he turned thirteen. Maybe even at an earlier age. Why was he about to tell Mom and Dad about my mistake? Why couldn't he tell them about HIS mistakes in the past? HE wasn't so perfect. I'm sure he had some flaws about him.

Okay, no, that was selfish of me. I wasn't supposed to be acting like this. I had no right to be. I wasn't the fat kid anymore. I wasn't allowed to be a selfish, bitter hippo like I had been before. I had to be the bigger person here now. I was an adult. And it was about time I started acting like one, right?

"...Okay, I'm sorry, Itachi. I'll do exactly that. I'll try to join something. I'll stop doing stupid things. I'll wait until I'm twenty-one to drink and do anything else. I promise." I run my fingers through my hair as I say this, catching a few stray hairs. Was it just me, or was I stressing? Was it the drinking? Either way, I had to stop. "I'll tell Mom and Dad, okay? I think it's best if I do. Because if you tell them, they'll think I wussied out and asked you to tell them for me."

This seemed to surprise my brother. He was quiet on the other line. Like he was shocked. Or something.

"You promise?" He murmured.

"Yeah. But later. When I come home from school. I'm late enough as it is." I looked down at the radio clock. 9:54. Shit. I was REALLY late for school. "I gotta go. Tell Mom that I hope she's doing all right. And tell Mom and Dad both that I love them and that I need to talk to them as soon as I come home from school, okay?"

"All right. Later."

"Bye."

And then I was on my way to school yet again. It took less time to get there than I would have normally thought it out to be. As soon as I arrived to school and walked into class, I felt the students' eyes on me. The teacher asked where I was. And I told her I slept in late. After that, she didn't bug me anymore about it. I still felt like everyone was watching me, though. Whispering, too. I looked around. Sure enough, it was. They were looking at me, AND they were whispering. Maybe it was just my paranoia acting up, but I felt like they were talking about me, whispering about me, looking at me. It might have sounded absurd, kind of like the feelings of an everyday high schooler such as myself. But, considering the anonymity of what I had done last night with no recollection whatsoever, it was possible.

However, I ignored it. Most of it, anyway. I fell asleep for the rest of the period. And then on and so forth, until it was lunchtime. I'd been looking forward to it, mostly because I needed to know things. I had no answers as to what had happened or what I had done last night.

Agh, crap; the messages! I keep forgetting about them. Sure, most of them were from Itachi, so I didn't bother reading those. However, the rest were from Pein. One singular person, but he was probably the only person I needed to know anything from. He had brought me home, after all.

As soon as I stepped in the cafeteria, I went in search for a booth. I felt like all eyes were on me as I settled myself into a booth. Seriously? How fast did news travel around here? I ignored it, and flipped out my phone, searching through my inbox. I ignored the nine messages I had received from my brother and read through all four of Pein's messages.

The first one read, _Hey. Where are you? We need to talk..._

Well, that didn't sound too good. Of course, it didn't tell me anything at all. Not much to go on from it.

The second message read, _I understand if you don't want to, but it's important that we do. I'm... Not exactly sure on what to think of it..._

Okay, we were getting somewhere. I doubted whatever it was Pein was talking about wasn't good. Agh, no duh. I was scared to read on. Whatever I did to Pein was out of my own stupid accord. He could have stopped whatever I did on his own. But... He says he doesn't know what to think of it. What had I done?

The third message read, _I don't mind that it happened. It was just unexpected. Maybe you might not have planned it, but it feels like you were thinking about doing it for a while now. I can't get any of it out of my mind. I keep replaying it over and over in my head. I'm trying to make sense of everything. Of you. Of that kiss and everything behind it. I don't know what to think of it._

...Kiss? I kissed him? Pein? No, no, no, no, no. It's not that I didn't believe it happened. I just couldn't believe I kissed Pein. It didn't sound like me, it didn't sound like something I would do.

Unless I was heavily influenced by alcohol to do so. Which, of course, I was. I start to go through my many memories of last night. So far, all I could remember was when Pein picked me up, then up to the beginning of the party. That was it. I wanted to remember, but I could not rack my brain, for the sake of me and Pein.

I read the last and final message.

_There's a small chance that you probably won't remember. Maybe a lot. You were pretty hammered. So, the last text will probably have freaked you out. Man, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. But I just want to know what that kiss meant. Even if you don't remember. What do you really think about me? This is mainly what I want to talk to you about. I need to know._

What did he need to know? I really hoped that, because of it, he wasn't going to stop being my friend. I know it was an absurd thought, I know, but, usually that was what I saw happen in movies whenever a friend of a friend kissed someone. Either that, or their friendship became strained. I didn't want that to happen. I don't know what happened. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know whether or not I had feelings for him. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Alcohol was the biggest influence for harboring secrets and feelings for someone, so I didn't know exactly what had been going on in my mind. I didn't know what I felt for him.

I think I should be more freaked out about the kiss, though. Or maybe he should be, instead of taking it in stride. So calmly. Why wasn't he freaking out about the whole situation? Why wasn't I freaking out about the whole situation? Wouldn't he be freaked out about a person like me - someone gay - to be kissing him? Much less, be dealing with feelings that I MIGHT be harboring for him? Secretly? Surely, he couldn't be feeling anything more or less about any of it.

"Hey."

At the sound of the new voice, I feel myself jump. Just how deep was I divulging into my many thoughts? Much too deep if such a voice could bring me out of them if I was in the loudest portion of the cafeteria. I was surprised to find the loudness of the cafeteria, now coming at me, full force. Yet I was not at all surprised to find Pein standing before me, tray in hand. Just like he had come at me on the first day of school. His piercings were off again. Surprisingly. I stuff my phone back into my pocket, swallowing.

"Hey." I greet him quietly, and look down at my hands. I can feel all the blood rushing to my cheeks as he settles into the booth, right across from me.

I can feel him watching me. He's not eating. It's too awkward. He pushes the tray towards me, nodding towards the food.

"You hungry? Saw you sitting over here. Didn't see you eating anything. Figured you might be hungry..." I shake my head, avoiding his gaze entirely, pushing the tray of food away from me, and back towards him. He merely pushes it to the side. Then there's that awkward silence again. Except maybe for the cafeteria noise, but it just feels like a hum amongst our table. Amongst ourselves. Until he sums up enough courage to speak first. Of course, not before taking a breath. To calm his nerves, I bet. "You got my messages...?"

I'm almost afraid to answer. What would be the next question coming out of his lips after that? I didn't know what to expect. But I couldn't say I didn't get his messages. So I nod. I clear my throat nervously. He stares at me, like if he's expecting me to say something. But I don't. When I don't, he clears his throat as well, ready to continue. He looks around the cafeteria. He sees the many watchful stares. It doesn't affect him. He turns back to me. I look away instantly. Yet the only place I can really look is back down at my hands. Anywhere else but him to avoid the embarrassment of it all.

"So, uh, how do you feel?" He murmured, leaning his arms against the table.

"Fine." I reply quickly. Too quickly. Like if everything WAS fine when it really wasn't. I still felt a little light-headed and my throat still felt too dry. But that was maybe because of this whole situation that was making me nervous. He didn't need to any of this anyway. Even if he already knew. "Uh, s-still kind of light-headed from the, uh, night before."

"Yeah, I bet. With all those drinks you had." He chuckled, bowing his head, while trying to hide his humor.

I purse my lips at this, bowing my head in embarrassment. I wasn't really in the mood for humor. Especially about last night; I didn't remember anything. Just exactly how was I supposed to laugh about something that I deemed - anybody deemed - as irresponsible? Especially if, at any moment, he were about to bring up something serious. He didn't let this go by so easily.

"Oh, come on, Sasuke. It was a little funny that you got all drunk off your ass." He tells me. This doesn't loosen up my humor any more. He definitely noticed my discomfort. "You didn't make a fool of yourself, if that's what you're thinking. I've never seen you let loose before, so it was a relief to see you dancing around and mingling with people. I would have thought you would hold back. But... You really were the hit of the party."

Now that caught my attention. Is that why so many people were staring at me today? I stared at him now. However, I still felt uncomfortable talking to him about this.

"I was?" I ask incredulously, not able to believe this myself. He nods, smiling now.

"Yeah. You were pretty great. Who knew you had dancing skills? You made the party fun. People were actually really disappointed to see you go." At this, I could feel the corners of my lips lifting. Right into a small hint of a smile. His smile was slowly turning into a grin, then into a full blown teasing smirk. "Ah, I see. That's the kind of stuff that gets you smiling, huh? Knowing that you've got everyone's eyes on you?"

"Shut up. It does not." I say, and shake my head, chuckling, rolling my eyes at him.

"Of course it does! Look at you; you LOVE the attention, I'm sure!" He snickers. I scoff, rolling my eyes again, but my cheeks are burning. Why wouldn't I love the attention? I practically lived my whole year invisible? I needed to be noticed at some point in my life. "After all, alcohol does encourage your innermost deep desires to become reality." At this, he snaps his mouth shut, regretting the instant such words leave his lips.

And the awkwardness crawls right back onto our table, latching onto our silence and stretching it even further. I can feel my whole face scorching as I fidget around my seat. I swallow and lick my lips. My throat feels so dry.

As if he sensed this, Pein grabs the milk from his lunch tray, opens it, stuffs a straw into the opening, then hands it to me. I take it greedily, and suck until I can finally feel my throat again. I can feel his eyes on me as this happens, and I just wish I could melt into nothing. Just melt and disappear into the floor, and avoid this whole thing completely. But I can't pussy out. Even if I couldn't remember, I couldn't just pussy out. I had to take note of my actions, take them into account, and deal with this like a man. A gay man, sure, but still like a man!

"So, about last night..."

"I don't remember anything." I blurt out before I can stop the words from escaping my lips. I swallow and shut my eyes at my idiocy. "I'm sorry."

He merely shakes his head, shrugging. Not like he didn't care, but like it wasn't that big a deal. From what I got, at least.

"Just hear me out first before anything else." He says. So I do my best. Despite my knowing nothing on my part. My heart raced. He took a breath, running his hands through his bright colored hair and looks me directly in my eyes. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Sasuke. Like, a lot. Many personal things. Like, for example, my relationships, or my home life, or my sexual orientation. I've kept pretty mum about all of that, haven't I?" I nod slowly, not really sure where he was heading with this. Maybe I knew. But maybe I didn't know. "With good reason. That way I don't discriminate like people discriminate me based on the way I look, or the way I act, or because of my family. Or whatever else. I'm an incredibly fair person, Sasuke. I give everyone a chance. Just like I hope everyone else gives ME a chance. So, last night... last night at that party... when I was helping you out of the club, something in me just clicked. I thought, 'What if he kissed me right now?', you know, considering the situation, I thought it was fairly likely. I asked myself what I would do if I was in a position like that. How would I handle it? What would it do to you if you realized you were doing something like that? What exactly would happen to our friendship, our relationship as a whole? And, you know what I said, Sasuke? When I was asking myself ALL of these questions?"

Now my heart was pumping too quickly, too loudly against my chest, against my ears. I felt myself shaking and swallowing repeatedly. Maybe it was the way he spoke so quietly to me, like he was telling me a secret. Which he was, in a way. He was opening up to me. About... I didn't really know. It made me anxious.

But I was curious to know. So, he sated my curiosity.

"Fuck it, I said. This might be your only chance. I took that chance. When you kissed me, I kissed you back. And I kissed you again when you asked for more. In anyone's opinion - possibly even yours - it wasn't a good decision, considering you weren't in a sober state, but... I realized that I really like you, Sasuke. I look forward to seeing you every day and texting you every night and hanging out with you on weekends." He laughs now, taking a moment from saying all of this. Like if he's not believing himself to be saying all of this to me. "It all sounds so weird, coming from someone like me... You don't expect me to just randomly say this to you. But you're someone special. I couldn't ignore this. I wasn't about to let you go when you kissed me like that, when you make me feel the way I did for you, when you came into my life. Man, this all sounds so corny."

"It does." I murmur, blushing. He chuckles quietly, but then he does something so unlike him. So unexpected. He reaches across from me and takes my hand. His palm, his fingers - they feel so soft against my sweaty palm. I never would have pegged him as the type to hold hands. Especially mine. I want to pull away, but then I don't. How is it that someone who looked like Pein did could just be so out in the open like this? With another man? I thought he wasn't gay. "This may sound like a stupid question, but... are you gay?"

He laughs, but shakes his head.

"It's not stupid. It's kind of a good question that you asked... no, I'm not gay. But didn't you listen to what I said, Sasuke? I'm a fair person; I give everyone a chance." He stares at me, waiting, hoping I catch on. But it's clear that, as dense as I am, I don't. "I'm a pansexual."

What the hell did that even mean? Was he just making up words now? Kind of a stupid word, if you asked me, to come up with.

"What, are you, like, sexually attracted to pans, or something?"

He snorts at my idiot response, for sure. He squeezes my hand, bringing me closer.

"No, a pansexual is someone who is attracted to someone. Regardless of their gender. Which is what I mean when I give everyone a chance - a fair person." But then his expression falters slightly. His grip on my fingers slips a little. "Unless, you know, you're not a fan of that..."

"Why would I not be? That's your motto." I smile once his grip tightens on my hand. "Now, look, I may not remember exactly what I did, or just for how long I kissed you, but I believe that you're right. Everyone does deserve a chance. I want to give you a chance." His eyes lit up at the sound of my words.

"Does that mean you like me?" Just maybe...

"I don't believe in showing all my cards at once."

"Ah, come on, don't be such a poker face. You like me, don't you? Even if you say you don't remember the kiss, I know you how you feel. With the way you were pressing up against me and stuff... Oh, yeah." I SO did not.

"What was I even doing to you? Oh, man... we didn't... you know...? Do THAT...? Right?"

"Well, not exactly. I mean, you passed out on me."

"Jerk!"

"What, you honestly think I would do that to you? Geez, you're a perv, Sasuke. I only wanted to kiss you - I don't know what else YOU were thinking about doing with ME."

"...I wasn't thinking about doing anything." I honestly wasn't. I think.

"Lies."

"I wasn't!" Was I?

"Is that a blush I'm seeing?" Maybe I was.

"Stop it!" I snort. He starts to poke my cheeks, and, as a result, my cheeks continue to redden.

It may seem stupid to just start a relationship out of the blue like that, I know. But, honestly, for the love of God, I didn't know what had happened last night. Eventually it'll come to me. Maybe it won't. I don't know. But it was just like Pein said. Everyone deserved a chance. I decided to give him a chance. I realize that it makes me sound like a slut. You know, going back and forth in my mind. Do I like? Do I not like him? Maybe I liked him. Maybe I didn't. I didn't know for sure. There was only one way to find out. And that was all through the matters of the heart.

Just maybe Pein could be the one.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Whoo! Finally done! :D 3:53 AM. A new record, I believe. But... Eh? Eh? ;D What'd you think? I've got nothing much to say about this chapter, but that it was an extremely difficult one to write. Lol. So far, I think this was my crappiest chapter yet. :/ But I don't know. It doesn't matter what I think - it matters what you guys think! :P

So...

Review, please! :D Sadly, it is my poison... ._.

- With much, much **adored** love, **KK247** -


	17. Oh, What Tangled Webs I've Weaved

**A/N: **Interesting turn of events... very, very interesting. I realize this whole PeinSasuke pairing freaked a whole lot of you out, but, trust me, it's for the best. I didn't think it would affect a whole lot... Ay, I'm such a dingus; of course it was gonna affect you all! It's a NaruSasu ficlet, and that's originally what you were staying for, right? It's not going to change. Durr. Lol. Oh, how I wish I could take it back, but, no, my dears, this is all a part of my plot.

Anyway, there's no need for worrying. There is a reason why this IS a NaruSasu story. I AM going to keep it that way. I'm just building up for it once more. So, don't panic! :P I'm not saying anything more, or anything less about the gist of it; this is all I will say for now.

Other than that, enjoy! :D

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Well, I told my parents about my unnecessary drinking and partying once I got out of school on Friday, last week. They, of course, weren't the least bit happy about any of it. If anything, they screamed at me - technically, my dad did all the screaming, and my mother scolded me, looking pretty angry about it, but that was worse than being screamed at more than anything else; disappointment clearly was the worst I could do - and grounded me until the end of time. They took away my driving privileges once more - made Itachi in charge of my whereabouts once more - banned parties and drinking from my vocabulary and everyday activities, and made me promise them that the only place I would be spending my time would be at home, in my room. Studying.<p>

I know, I know, the whole idea of it all just sounds so horrid and everything. Not being able to do anything without having a brother like Itachi tracking your every move? Kind of a killjoy. But I take it like a man. Like a man who clearly deserved it all. Which, indeed, I did. Anyone would tell me I did.

Despite all that, though, Pein found ways to hang out with me when we got out of school. My parents allowed it. They knew we were going out now - although I didn't mention just HOW it happened to lead to that - but, every time he came over, they reminded us to keep the door open at all times. Every now and then, either Mom, or Dad, or Itachi passed by my room to survey us, making sure we weren't doing anything careless. Though, I would hardly think we would ever be stupid enough to let our guard down just like that. Pein WAS a good guy. In fact, he was a smart guy, above all that. He did help me study when he came over. Other times, we would play games on the Wii. Or we would create some of our own. They weren't as fun, but we rarely had a moment of boredom. We would never let silence or awkwardness cross our path once.

No, that did NOT mean we would make out whenever my family didn't pass by my bedroom. I don't even hold Pein's hand in public. Not even while we were at school. I mean, except for that one time, when he confessed his feelings to me, but that was it. Not once did I ever try to hold his hand, much less kiss him. I know, I know, I kissed him when I was drunk. That doesn't count, though. I don't remember much of it...

I was going to take things slow this time around. As a way of starting fresh with this second relationship. Pein didn't mind much. It wasn't like he didn't want to. He told me that he respected that I didn't follow what everyone else did in their relationships. He was grateful that I was taking it slow, that we were only given one life, that we didn't have to rush things; that was what he needed in a relationship nowadays. He was satisfied with what we had now.

Thank goodness, because I would have felt pressured if he felt differently.

I also thought that, you know, if we made it seem like nothing more happened between us - despite that practically the whole school knew of what happened at the party, from a couple of big mouths (Shion, Tayuya, and Kagura); I don't even know how they found out - then no one would think we were a couple. I wasn't ashamed of Pein and I being together. No. Never. He was cute. I thought so. And, you know, other people thought so, too. But I preferred to keep this relationship a secret.

I mean, I didn't mind that it was mentioned a few times in my everyday conversations, though I didn't want to be labeled as a package deal with Pein as a couple. I assure you I am NOT ashamed. I just don't like putting myself out there too much about my personal life. It's private stuff that's between me and Pein; it doesn't concern others what our business is. Some of you understand what I'm saying, right?

...But you know how quickly news about anyone spreads around schools nowadays. Gossiping is inevitable about our relationship.

"Sasuke, hey. It's your turn." Speaking of which, the man of the hour. "Either you take it, or I do." He wiggles his Uno cards at me.

Pein's sitting across from me on my bed, grinning. Well, he's on his knees, resting his chin over edge of my bed, kneeling across from me. I'm the only one sitting on the bed, cross-legged.

I look down at the cards in my hand. All red. I look down at the center pile laying in the middle of my bed. A blue nine. There is no trace of a red nine anywhere in my choice of cards. I scowl, looking over at him. There was NO way he WOULDN'T take advantage of my distraction. And why he was looking all smug like that.

"You jerk. You were looking at my cards, weren't you?" I mutter.

He shrugs as he laughs, holding his hands up innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I play fair." He counters, snickering.

"No you don't, you liar!" I scoff incredulously, laughing as well.

"You don't believe me? Ohhh, that hits hard, Sasuke. I thought I was your boyfriend."

I roll my eyes, giggling, as I throw my cards at him, shaking my finger at him. He ducks as soon as the cards come flying his way. His head peeks back up.

"Don't go playing the boyfriend card, Pein. You cheater..." I start to climb off the bed to pick up the cards I threw at him. He helps me, laughing.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? You were spacing out on me. So I thought, 'Oh, what a perfect moment to take a peek at his cards', and I did. I'm not a cheater, though." He shakes his head as I roll my eyes at him. He mimics the way I shook my finger at him, right in my face. I clutch his finger, laughing. He licks my cheek as a counter-attack.

I pull away and release his finger, disgusted. He snickers at the look on my face. Then he sticks out his tongue at me again, wiggling it, ready to do it again. Did I mention that he turned into a complete weirdo when we hung out alone? Just the two of us? Oh, yeah. He did some pretty weird things that not even I thought he would be confident enough to do with me. Like now, for example. Invading my personal bubble. Not that, you know, it bothered me or anything. Eventually, I would have to get used to this.

Yet he didn't stop.

He continued to wiggle his tongue out at me. I tried to dodge him and his weird tongue and I succeeded. Well... for the most part. He grabbed both my arms and kept me tight in place. Tight enough to to keep me from escaping, but not so tight as to hurt me. He knew I tended to have very sensitive skin, as he came to the conclusion of my blushing all the time.

Dodging him was difficult, though. Especially if I was giggling like a madman when this was all going down. And the fact that he was stronger than I was. And, you know, as well as the fact of being fond of the way he was handling me. And the way he was laughing when he was trying to tongue me again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how wrong that sounds, but you know that's not what I mean.

"Ooh, distracted again, my dear?" He murmured, chuckling, then he licked the side of my face. Slobbering. Like a dog. Oh, God. I pull away at the strange wetness against my cheek, rubbing at it, until his saliva is off, grunting in disgust. Yet I'm still laughing. Despite the sheer atrocity of it.

It's weird, you know? You would think I'd let him kiss me first, rather than lick me like a dog. But, I mean, THIS sort of thing makes him happy. No big deal so far.

...So far. Doesn't mean it doesn't disgust me. I allow it for now, nevertheless. Besides, I'm sure there are much stranger things people have allowed than this.

Before I know it, he's away from me quick as a flash, sitting on my bed, gathering an innocent look upon his face as my brother steps in my room. I snicker at him. He does so, too. My brother looks at us strangely, yet he doesn't ask what makes us all giggly. Even if it's part of his job to keep an eye on our behavior. But he knows we wouldn't do that. It's been a week, so I don't think he really had anything to worry about there being any funny business while he wasn't around.

He let our humor slide as he handed me the house phone.

"It's for you. Sakura." He says, and I frown. Why was she calling me now? Didn't she have homework to finish up? Why didn't she call me to my cell phone, though?

...Where WAS my cell phone, anyway?

I took the phone and Itachi left me and Pein alone. I turned around to Pein, joining him on the bed as I pressed the receiver to my ear.

"Hello?" I murmur, almost unsure that it's really Sakura. I don't know why. It's just me acting like my paranoid self. As usual.

"Hey, Sasuke!" She squealed. Oh, yeah, definitely her. I'd recognize that cheerful, squealing voice anywhere. There's a smile coming over my lips. Pein notices and grins as well, then lays on the bed, right behind me. I lean on his stomach comfortably. He 'oof's' quietly in response, as though I'm really THAT heavy. His grins widens as I turn around to smack him on his arm lightly. I refocus my attention back to Sakura, settling myself into a more comfortable position. "Gosh, I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever. How are you?"

I finally settle myself into a comfortable position, resting against his body as I rest my head against Pein's arm instead and one arm draped over his stomach lazily. He's pleased with this position. His fingers slip between my own. I smile.

"I'm great. Really great." I squeeze his fingers affectionately as though to emphasize my feelings greater than so. He sighs contentedly, chuckling. "What about you? How's the college life? How are Shikamaru and Ino?"

"Oh, I'm pretty great myself, too. Constantly bombarded by college assignments, losing sleep, hardly enough time for a social life and stuff, but, I mean, other than that, I suppose I'm functioning alright with this crazy college life of mine." She laughs. "Shikamaru's handling it all pretty well, too. Ino's a different story, but she can manage." She sighs, then she gasps. "Oh, right! I've got news. I met someone..."

I knew there was another reason she could have been calling me for.

"Oh, really? Well, do tell, milady. Who is this charming fellow who has captured your interest?" I say haughtily, with just a hint of a British accent just for the hell of it, and readjust myself against Pein, readying myself for the juicy news she's about to provide me with. Mostly because, well, you know, I can relate to her nowadays. Not that I would tell her straight out. I mean, like I said, I tend to keep my relationships secret, unless someone happens to take notice and decides to casually bring it up in conversation one day, then, of course, I will NOT keep quiet about my affections. Though, I'm not going to make myself sound like a girl when I talk about Pein. Obviously, I'm a man. Yeah.

He notices my obvious pique of interest and rests his head against my shoulder, pressing his ear against the receiver of the phone. I snort quietly, and shove him off, yet he comes back, laughing just as quietly as I am. So, I let him stay there. Just for the sake of him wanting to know the gossip between Sakura and I. And because I thrive for the closeness between the two of us. You know, because of the heat. And it's getting colder. It is October, after all. And he's very warm. So, yeah.

"I sound so selfish, don't I? Like I'm just calling to tell you that." She grunts out in frustration. "Believe me, Sasuke, I didn't. I really missed talking to you. You probably think I -"

"Hey, hey, hey, relax, Sakura. Your sole purpose as a best friend - who is away in college - is to fill me in on what's been going on in your life. Not in the least bit selfish, if you ask me. I actually WANT to know. So... go on. Tell me. Who's the guy?" I feel Pein grasp onto my fingers even tighter, approving of my attitude.

"Well, if you insist..."

"In which, I do. Shoot."

She takes a breath, then sighs. Clearly, she's settling herself into a more comfortable spot. I imagine her like the girls in the movies when they're talking to someone about the guy they've just met - she's laying on her bed, on her back, feeling all giddy as she's spilling the beans about the lucky guy she's got her eye on. Or whose got his eye on her.

"Okay, well, you know the guys I'm usually into, right? Tall and dark and handsome? Typical dreamboat guy?"

"Don't tell me - opposite from that?"

"Exactly. Sounds kind of mean, but Ino said he wasn't pleasing to look at. And, as much as I'd hate to counter against that, I know it isn't true. But, oh my gosh, Sasuke, he has the sweetest personality ever. And he's smart. But he's, like, super shy. Like, the first day we met, he was afraid to talk about himself. I was talking most of the time. Agh! I'm melting over the cuteness of it all." She giggles girlishly. Yep, just like the girls in the movies. "I mean, he's cute, too. At least to me. Ino says he isn't because of his crazy-looking eyebrows. 'Freakish caterpillar brows, bro', as she quoted. Seriously. I disagree."

"Caterpillar-looking eyebrows? Are you serious?" At this, Pein snorted. I couldn't help myself. I started laughing, too. "No way, Sakura."

"Hey, don't judge!"

"I'm not judging, it's just... weird." I snicker and laughter vibrates through my chest. "I just can't imagine - for the life of me - you crushing on someone like that. I don't know how he looks like, so the possibilities of his appearance might seem frightening with just 'freakish caterpillar brows' to go by."

She laughs.

"Well, yeah, I suppose it is pretty funny, as sick as it is to laugh about it. But! If we ever happen to go out, and you meet him in the future, don't obsess over his eyebrows, okay? You promise me?"

"Not entirely. But I can try. Surely, I won't tease him about his eyebrows, 'cause that's just cold. You can trust Ino to be doing that for you, though, so I'm pretty much the least of your worries." I say.

She groans.

"Oh, you're right. That bitch. She will never let him live it down. Much less, me. Oh, God. Tell me why we're friends with her again?"

We both laugh.

And I realized just how much I missed her now. Sure, I hadn't thought of her, or those other two in a while. Since, well, a couple of months ago, I think, when I came back from my grandmother's, and we hung out and stuff. I never realized how much a huge chunk of my life, my soul, and my being as a whole was gone, until I started talking to Sakura again. Laughing and talking like this. But she was my best friend. She was the one who was always there for me, through thick and thin; she stuck up for me, and she made me feel better when I didn't exactly feel my best. Even when I said I was fine. She was the perfect best friend anyone like me could have. Why didn't I talk to her more? Oh, right. College life.

"So...? What about you? Anything new to report on your love life?" She asks me, teasing. At this, Pein perks up immediately. I look over at him and he's grinning, listening even closer now. A blush creeps up on my cheeks and I press my hand against his face, as though such a thing will keep him from listening in. Or if it's such an obstacle. It's not.

He licks my palm. I retract my hand quickly.

"Uh, well... yeah, sort of, but I don't think now would be a good time to talk about it." I say, while trying to hold him back with my saliva-infested hand. It works. He's holding himself at a respectable distance now. I grin in triumph, then stick my tongue out at him.

"Oh, okay, I tell you the deal with my guy, but you don't tell me the deal with yours? Ohhh, no, now you tell me, Sasuke." She starts giggling. "But, I mean, it's not like I don't know anything about it already." Her tone sounds... cheeky. Like it always does when she's found out something INCREDIBLY juicy about a friend. Oh, no. My cheeks start to redden once more.

How the hell does she know everything about everything? She's in COLLEGE, for God's sake! High school details are supposed to be all but minimal to her nowadays!

"Who told you?" I ask. She scoffs, as though asking such a question was stupid. Which I realize that, indeed, it is, considering her standing of social status in all of her years of high school. I mentally kick myself.

"Please. I have my ways, my circle of people. I keep up with the daily news, sweetie!" She replies. "I've heard rumors, Sasuke - many rumors that I'm hoping are NOT true -" She'd heard rumors about me? Already? I could only imagine WHAT kind of rumors high school students could start about one another. High school was not exactly a friendly place. "Although, I AM pleased you've hooked yourself a boyfriend. Before I did. To that, I tip my hat off to you, kind sir. He's one lucky guy, right?" Her tone now sounds kind of suggestive. I turn to sneak a look at Pein. He wiggles his eyebrows at me, then wiggles his tongue out at me once more. And he winks. I shake my head, blushing, and turn away from him.

"I'm not like that, Sakura. We haven't even kissed, or anything." I say lowly, as though to keep him out of earshot. But I can hear him chuckle behind me, 'Yet you let me lick your face' in reprimand. I shove at his shoulder, sitting up on the bed as my ears redden. He does so, too, and I lean against his shoulder, hiding my face.

"Really? But what about what happened at my graduation party? I heard differently about you..." She murmurs. He perks up at this, and nudges me. I don't look at him. "Unless that whole thing was just a rumor...?"

"It was." I lie, mostly to keep the whole subject at bay, for the most part. At least, what she's thinking about. And as well as keeping the secret of me once ALMOST doing the dirty with her half-brother. "Nothing happened."

"Oh, thank God." She breathes out. Pein relaxes beneath me as well. I pat his chest gently. "I didn't think you were the kind of person to do THAT sort of thing at my graduation party. Doing it with a stranger as your first time at my party doesn't seem like the thing you would ever bring yourself to do. No matter how much courage you can muster up. Right?"

"...Right." She was SO not right. Well, only partially, anyway. I mean, the way I remember that night of the party is that I was mostly influenced by alcohol, but my actions seemed to be of my own accord. And, well, technically, Naruto and I were pretty close to doing it. Although, she was pretty right about me not being able to muster enough courage to go through with any of it - I don't think I could ever do such a thing without having time to REALLY think about it. I'm actually terrified completely of ever being confronted with a situation like this ever again. "Anyway... um, yeah. Pein's a pretty great guy." Yet again, he perks up at the sound of his name.

"Yeah? How long have you guys been going out so far?"

"A week."

"Well, that's good. Honeymoon phase." She chuckles. "Think I'd ever be able to have the pleasure of meeting him? Say, perhaps at my brother's birthday party? Tomorrow?"

Uh-oh. I pull away from Pein's chest.

"Your brother's party? Um, I'm not sure... I'm kind of on probation right now." And I really didn't think it would be a good idea to invite my current boyfriend to my EX-boyfriend's party. It was not the smartest of ideas to do so either. I remember our conversation vaguely. I remember him telling me that it would bother him if we were going out. I didn't want to rub it in his face all of a sudden.

"Probation? What for?"

"Uh, drinking and partying. I doubt that my parents would let me go. Without Itachi, at least."

"Then bring him! He's welcome here any day! I haven't seen him in forever... And, hey, I'll try to convince your parents to let you go; you haven't seen me in two months! I'll tell them you're having withdrawal symptoms going on without me by your side. And if they argue against that, then I'll put my parents on the phone to talk some sense into them. For sure, they'll withhold your probation and let you go. Probably just for tomorrow, but one night is all we need to catch up. That sound good?" She sounded so hopeful.

And I was so screwed.

I hadn't seen Naruto since that one time at McDonald's, when he told me he still had feelings for me. How long ago was that? Either way, it wasn't a very good idea to be bringing a boyfriend to his party. It'd be too awkward. I'd be freaking out the longer I stayed there. I'll probably be sprouting hives with all the stress I'll be going through at the party. I don't think I'd be able to handle it. Man, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't say no. But I had to say yes. Sakura wanted to see me. And she wanted to meet Pein.

I could just do it for their sake, right? Just a meet and greet on their part, and then we'll be out of there. Agh, but I doubt that that'll be all that they'll want to do. They're going to want to talk and eat and get to know each other and laugh; there was no way to avoid it.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Let's just hope my parents say yes."

"They SO totally will. Trust me. I am one persuasive daughter of a dick - I can crack anyone into doing what I want."

I roll my eyes and snort.

"Conniving, manipulating, guilt-provoking shrew, if you ask me."

"Hey! I didn't ask you, so there's no need for your opinion. But I suppose you could call my ways as such. If you must."

"Whatever." I laugh. I run my fingers through Pein's hair and look up at him. He looks back at me, smiling innocently. And I ask myself what he's done to be looking at me like that. I narrow my eyes and look at him suspiciously. "Hey, Sakura, I got to go. I must tend to important matters."

She gasps mockingly.

"Impossible! Much more important than I? Your best friend?"

"Just for this moment, my love. I swear to you - we will have all the time in the world to discuss your importance to me tomorrow."

"You promise me?"

"I swear to you, from the deepest of my heart."

"Oh, my."

"I bid thee, adieu, my sweet blossom."

"Adieu, my ebony prince."

I start snorting out in laughter. She does so as well.

"That was, by far, one of the most stupidest things we've ever done!" I laugh.

"Totally!" She squeals. "Promise me we'll never do that again?"

"Yes."

"All right. Later, homo."

"Bye, Billboard Brow."

"Hey!" But she knows I'm joking, so she laughs yet again.

And we hang up. I throw the phone somewhere on the bed and lean across Pein's lap, arm still reaching out to stroke his hair.

For some reason, I feel relieved that such a phone call is over. Maybe because, deep down, I felt that I would start talking about Naruto and I would spill everything. About our relationship, about our breakup, about our meeting in McDonald's, about his feelings... Yes, even in front of Pein. It was terrifying to know that I was capable of doing such a thing. Good thing I didn't, though. I mean, I had a pretty good thing going on with this guy here, and I wasn't about to ruin it by talking about my ex-boyfriend, which would, for sure, ensure an argument of some sorts. Which would eventually lead up to a premature breakup. At least, that was the way it went in movies. But, either way, I'm sure he didn't want to hear about that. Vaguely, I wondered if he knew anything about it without my knowing. He found out I was gay on the same day Naruto had told me of his feelings for me. Temari could have told him, or he could have been watching our little argument outside the restaurant. We were sitting by the window, after all, so our argument probably wasn't so secret to talk about outside, if everyone turned out to be watching.

Unless he really didn't know anything. Maybe I was just being paranoid. You know, just me being me? Psh, of course I was being paranoid. There was no need to be asking myself pointless questions. Like I said, I had something really good here with Pein - sure, nothing exciting had happened yet, but I liked it like this. Our relationship was calm. We had fun, we were never tired of one another - at least I never was; I constantly looked forward to being near him - my parents loved him, he was strange (but I liked that about him; really complimented me), and he was helping me find myself.

And, look, I don't mean to compare my relationship with Pein alongside my relationship with Naruto, but I find this current relationship of mine much more liberating and exciting. With Naruto, sure, it was the same, but I was constantly worrying whether or not I was good enough for him. Or whether or not he felt the same about me. And I was always worried, anxious, and self-conscious. About myself, about my relationship, about Naruto, about everything.

With Pein, though - I was carefree. I could be myself with him and I wouldn't think much about it because I know he's the exact way that I am. And, slowly, I could feel myself coming out of my shell more and more, with each moment that I spent time with him. Like now, for example, stroking his hair and leaning on his lap as I was doing so now. And him licking me counts, too. With Naruto I could never feel as comfortable as I did with Pein - I was now confident enough to show affection. I was never really able to.

"What are you thinking about?" He murmurs softly, relishing in the sweet caressing of running my fingers through his hair, smiling.

I shrug, as though it's of no importance when, in all actuality, it is. Especially if it involves him in my many thoughts.

"Stuff." I reply. He chuckles.

"Me, huh? And how incredibly sexy I am?" He strikes a pose, wiggling his eyebrows at me. He flexes. "Yeah, I can do that sometimes." I roll my eyes and let my hand fall from his hair, laughing, as I sit up on the bed beside him.

"Yeah, sure. My loins are aching for you. Take me, Pein, take me now. Oh, yes, baby, yes." I say sarcastically, and his pose falters.

"Whatever, Sasuke. I know you want me." He whispers against my ear. Then he starts a beat, so he doesn't notice my shiver. "You know I want ya." Then he goes into an all-out techno beat. "Unce, unce, unce, unce." I start laughing at his stupidity.

"Ah, yes, Pitbull. A classic. That gets you going, huh?"

"Like an eraser on paper!" And then he starts dancing like a maniac, pelvic thrusting all over the place, wiggling his hips, shaking his 'junk in the trunk' at me, as he described, and doesn't stop, even as my brother comes into the room, looking at him just as strangely as before. I'm laughing too hard to even care, so I can't tell Pein. He does notice all by himself, though. Yet he doesn't stop. And he says something along the lines of, "Just shaking what my momma gave me." And then he continues dancing to the beat he's got going on in his head, humming a few beats every now and then as I continue to laugh while Itachi raises his eyebrows at the both of us. Yet he decides not to make anything of it, and heads out of my room again, shaking his head.

Oh, God. Yes, this was real. This was my boyfriend. He was a complete idiot that danced to beats in his head, who shakes his rump at me, regardless of who's watching, who licks my face when we haven't kissed - surprisingly enough, I'm still all right with it - who makes me 'me', who is completely normal in my eyes, and who can make my heart race, even with the tiniest of his touches.

I suppose you could say I liked him. Maybe just a little bit.

But maybe just a lot.

* * *

><p>It turns out my parents were convinced in letting me go to Naruto's party. It didn't take a lot for them to be convinced, though. After all, it was Sakura who convinced them - they loved her; they knew she was a responsible human being. They trusted her. I couldn't see why they wouldn't say no to her. Especially if they were tagging along as well. Yes, she invited them along as well. As if it wasn't bad enough that I was bringing my current boyfriend to my ex's birthday party. But, of course, she didn't know that. They knew, though. They could have said no to coming with Pein, Itachi, and me. Though, they provided fair points, I'll give them that.<p>

They didn't trust me to not do anything stupid there, considering it was a party for older people, they didn't know if I would be able to restrain myself with Naruto there - they were REALLY proving strong points for that one, so I give them props for that one - they hadn't seen Sakura, or her parents, in the longest time, and they wanted to catch up, and, of course, the last final reason that they said yes to going, to congratulate Naruto on his birthday. All right, fine, that last one can be a freebie, but I know all they really want is to see him again. They liked him, and they missed him. They 'casually mentioned' it once, many weeks before Pein and I got together, that they would like to see him again sometime, that he was a good guy, that, someday, I would realize what I had lost. Funny, huh? Parents telling you that?

Yeah, not so much. But enough of that.

We were now on our way to Sakura's house. To Naruto's party. I couldn't help the feeling of nervousness building up within me as Pein and I rode in the backseat. My parents were busy chattering in the front seat about the baby. Quite excitedly, so they didn't notice the way I was. Itachi was looking out the window beside me, so, you know, of course he wouldn't notice. And Pein was... well, Pein was being Pein - he was in his own little world, for the moment. Though, he kept squeezing my hand and looking over at me, smiling, so I can't say he was ENTIRELY in his own little world. Maybe I was in it. It sure kept me from being all nervous about going to Sakura's house; that very thought was very assuring. I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. I bring our intertwined fingers close to my lap and he kisses the top of my head softly, chuckling. And, for the moment, I forget that I'm riding in the car with my family and my boyfriend, and imagine myself riding alone.

The hum of the car becomes a lullaby. The chattering from my parents slowly fades within everything else. I start to drift off. I don't know why I decide to. Sakura's house is not far away, I'm not tired - it's only seven in the evening, after all - but it might be because everyone else is so calm, compared to me. On the outside, I may not seem quite as panicked, but I feel super crazy on the inside. Like I could just jump-out-of-this-moving-car-to-avoid-seeing-Naruto-again kind of crazy. I know I shouldn't be feeling as such. It's not like I'm going to do anything stupid, though I feel as though I might. Maybe because I still have feelings for Naruto... Or something like that. But it isn't like I'm going to act upon them. I have Pein. Pein's a good guy and I would never think to hurt him by continuing to feel like this during our relationship. That wasn't fair.

In fact, why should Naruto even be affecting me like this? That was over, right? So, these feelings should be over now, too. I liked Pein. There was no reason to be doubting this, or overlooking it. I was happy with this guy right here; there was no right to be thinking about anyone else. Much less, be worried about my actions that I was SURE I wouldn't act upon. I trusted myself enough to do THAT much.

"Hey, Sasuke, we're here." Pein murmurs in my ear. "Wake up."

So, I do. And his face is the first I see, grinning back at me, then I notice that everyone is already piled out of the car, walking in toward's Sakura's house, and in to Naruto's party. Both Pein and I are the only ones still in the car. We get out. I take several breaths once Pein shuts the door behind me as a way to calm myself, although it doesn't seem to help whatsoever. I'm shaking all over.

I take his hand. We start walking. My parents are walking into Sakura's house, Itachi's right behind them. Why the hell does this affect me so badly? Didn't I just banish these feelings thing entirely already?

We're getting closer and closer to the door. I squeeze his hand. I can hear music pulsing from the backyard and through the front door to right on outside here. My heart's pounding loudly in my ears now. We're inside. I expect myself to be greeted by Naruto glaring Pein down. Or by him cracking his knuckles. Or something that would be considered a threat to my boyfriend. Like something of a fight ensuing between the two of them. I know I'm being paranoid, though I can't help the negative thoughts forming in my mind.

Everything's normal, though. Sakura's parents welcome us with smiles instead, leading us in through the front door and into their house. No sign of Naruto anywhere. He's probably outside, partying it up. Or making out.

No! Stop it, Sasuke! Stop it! Why do you have to do this? Why can't you just focus on the guy that's holding your hand NOW? HE'S your boyfriend! HE'S the one you came with! HE'S the one who is special to you! Not Naruto! Stop it!

As we walk through the house, we're greeted by many of Sakura's family members. I smile, waving at them, and Pein does the same with the hand he's holding my hand in. They stare, but they don't make anything much of it. We're out through the back door before I take notice of anything else.

Pein suddenly leans down toward me as we mingle awkwardly by the back door.

"So... where's your friend?" He murmurs, looking around at the people drinking and barbecuing and dancing. I don't recognize anyone (other than my parents and Sakura's parents, and my brother). I restrain myself from looking for Naruto.

I shrug.

There's a squeal, then a pink blur flies at me, practically knocking me off my feet. Although, Pein catches me before I fall, we still fall. Right on top of him. He lets out a pained groan, intermingling with a bark of a laugh. I start laughing too, once I notice that the pink blur happens to be Sakura, who is just staring at the both of us with her bright green eyes, grinning at us like the Chesire Cat. Our commotion attracts the attention of many, but, once they all notice we're all laughing and smiling, they turn back to their drinking business. Sakura embraces us both tightly, then she pulls away to look at both Pein and I.

"Oh my gosh, Sasuke, hey! Is this your boyfriend? He's really cute!" She shoves out her hand in front of his face. He jerks his head back in surprise, but grins at her friendliness, shaking her hand. "Hi, I'm Sakura! What's your name?"

"Maybe if he had enough air to breathe, Sakura, he would give you an answer." I say, still laughing. She sticks her tongue out at me as she stands up to helps me up, as well as Pein. Yet she stares, wide-eyed, as he towers over the both of us, like a looming giant.

"...You're tall." She murmurs shockingly.

He laughs.

"Actually, I'm Pein. But thank you... Sakura, is it?" He smiles charmingly at her as she nods, dazed. Then he takes a hold of my hand, which only seems to make my best friend practically melt into the grass.

She takes my hand, jumping up and down excitedly now.

"Oh, man, he's perfect, Sasuke! He's every girl's wet dream!" She squeals, and my eyes widen. I start to blush as Pein chuckles. I seriously just want to die. Honestly. Didn't this woman have any common sense? That wasn't what someone was supposed to say a thing like THAT to a complete stranger! "Ah, shoot. Sorry, that was uncalled for, I bet, but, really, you are just burning up the night out here. Whew!" She fans herself, as if Pein really IS that hot. I mean, he kind of is, but, come on!

Though, Pein seems to like the attention. Well, not exactly like it. I mean that he seems to be taking it in stride. As though he's used to these sorts of compliments. I suddenly wonder who has been saying these things to him, enough for him to be so comfortable with this. Not that it bothered me much or anything.

Truly, it didn't.

"No, really, it's fine; thank you. If anything, I'd ask you to keep them coming, but I don't think that would bode all too well with Sasuke." He nudges me gently, and I feel my face flushing a deep crimson color.

"I'm not jealous!" I blurt out and instantly regret it the moment it slips from my lips. Mostly because Sakura's coddling me like a newborn child, and Pein kisses the top of my head, which only causes her to squeeze me like a stuffed animal now.

"Sasuke, you're so cute! Even cuter when you get jealous... Awh, I didn't even know you got jealous!" She points at me repeatedly while looking at Pein. "You better keep an eye on him, huh? Seems like you're going to have to be careful with who you hang out with, my friend." They both laugh. And I feel my face get hotter. I'm not an insane jealous freak that's going to prohibit him from hanging out with other friends, if that's what she's meaning to imply. Even as a joke.

"Nothing to worry about there." He says, giving my shoulder a tight, reassuring squeeze. "My eyes are only for him." And that only gets Sakura going again. Though, she notices how small I feel, and stops, clearing her throat. But not before letting out another giggle. That bitch.

"Anyway, either of you want a drink? Soda?"

We both nod and take a seat while she goes inside to get us drinks. For a moment, we remain silent as we observe the people drinking and dancing and eating and barbecuing while we hold each other's hand. Then we look at one another. He grins at me, but I look away, for the sake of withholding anymore embarassment on my part. Why couldn't I seem to get this blush down?

It only seemed to be getting worse as he took a hold of my chin. He reached towards my face and pinched under my eye. I pull away at the unsuspecting action in surprise.

"Sorry." He apologizes wholeheartedly and holds up his thumb and forefinger, holding up what seems to be something imaginary. But, of course, it isn't. Though, knowing him, it probably COULD be nothing. "Eyelash." He says, yet keeps his two fingers in front of me. "Thumb or forefinger?"

I stare at him, astonished.

"Why? What happens?"

He shrugs.

"Just pick." He says, smiling. I stare at him suspiciously. "Trust me. Nothing bad is going to happen. So, thumb or forefinger?"

As if I didn't trust him.

"...Thumb." He opens his fingers slowly. The eyelash is on his thumb. He grins, looking up at me. I stare back at him, amused at his expression. "Now what?"

"Make a wish, then blow on it." He replies. "Haven't you ever done this before?" I shake my head.

"Does it have a purpose?"

He shrugs yet again.

"Gives me and everyone else hope that their wishes will be granted. So, why shouldn't that same purpose be given to you?" He pushes his thumb towards me. "Go on. Close your eyes, wish and blow, before the wind does it for you." He laughs at his little joke as I continue to stare at him amusingly.

...What could it hurt? He believed in this, so why shouldn't I? Right? It was a nice sentiment. But... I don't even know what to wish for. I mean, I was happy. I was happy with Pein here. I was happy with my family. I was happy with how smoothly everything was going over in my life. I didn't need anything else. My life was pretty good. I don't mean for it to sound so 'rich guy', or anything. I really didn't need anything. Sure, even though these superstitious wish things were usually old wives' tales, that didn't mean I shouldn't be putting a lot of thought into this. Wishes weren't just something you could think up on the spot. However, that was the thing - nothing to wish for. As far as I knew, most of my wishes have probably all already came true. Maybe I could wish a wish for someone else. Did that count as MY wish? Wishing for someone else?

I looked at Pein. He looked back at me hopefully.

...Perhaps I could wish for him. Knowing me, and how fickle I am sometimes, I'm sure he'll be needing this wish more than I ever could. Yeah. That was good. I was wishing for him.

I close my eyes and blow gently. Once I open my eyes, I smile at him and lean forward. He leans forward, too, cupping at the side of my face. And I kiss him. Gently. Just a small peck. Yet I know it affects him immensely. Slowly, I pull away and watch the way his eyes flutter open in slight surprise. Then he smiles, staring at me questioningly.

"What was that for?" He whispers. I only shrug, shaking my head.

"Just because. Do I need a reason?" I whisper back. This time, he shakes his head as a full grin comes over his face.

I hear Sakura's voice from what I believe to be less than a mile away. She's arguing with someone about the 'shitty' music choice, which I notice now is all rock. Hard rock. Well, I mean, I don't know if one could call Nirvana 'hard rock'; I didn't know much about music genres. She comes outside towards us, rolling her eyes at the response she gets - 'Oh, and I suppose YOUR music IS what the family WANTS to hear? YOUR music's shitty!' - holding two dripping sodas in her arms. She takes a seat beside me, handing me and Pein a soda.

"I swear... this family..." She mutters, but that's all she says. She's back to all smiles now with us. "So, what'd I miss while I was gone? Were you guys talking about me?"

"Yes, because the world revolves around you." I reply jokingly.

"Well, it should. One day, I'm going to be queen of the world, I'll have you know. So, the joke's on YOU, biatch." She cackles. I stick my tongue out at her. She does the same. Only more... well, in a more lesbian way, I suppose you could say. I scrunch my nose in distaste, laughing. She turns to Pein and I know what that means. The questioning. She did it with the guys that Ino dated sometimes, WAY before Shikamaru. Actually, no. She even questioned Shikamaru. But he was the only guy in history who wasn't, in the least, thrown off by her questions. Brave man, he was. "So. Tell me about yourself. What kind of music do you like? What's your favorite color? What do you do? What are your hobbies? Likes? Dislikes? What are your overall intentions for dating my best friend Sasuke, here?" Oh, God. Did I forget to mention that she included even the most personal questions? Yeah. That was my best friend right there. No limits to this girl and her ways. She would make a man VERY happy someday.

For once, in the whole night, my boyfriend was stumped. And he looked scared, too. Nervous, maybe? He looked to me for help, stuttering weakly. I raise my hands up in defeat.

"Sorry, hon. This is not my place." I look at Sakura. She winks. He was in the hotseat now. Oh, I know it was cruel of me to do so, but, hey, best friends look out for one another. It wasn't that I didn't trust him. Sakura just needed to be at almost the same level I was to deem him good enough to pass her test of likability. Every girlfriend did it. I start to get up from beside Pein. He looks to me, back to Sakura, then back to me, as though pleading me to stay. "I'll leave you two to talk. Sakura, I'm going to go congratulate your brother, okay? Keep it light. So, by the time I come back, I hope you haven't scared my boyfriend away with your crazy questions."

She holds up her right hand, then forms an 'X' over her heart, swearing completely.

"Wouldn't DARE think of it, darling. The idea is far, far, FAR from my mind." Her eyes light up playfully. I take a sip from my drink to hide the smile that forms over my lips. "Now, go away. I have some grilling to do with this one."

I laugh and shake my head silently, then I lean down towards Pein and kiss his cheek lightly, mustering up a serious face just for him. Sakura snorts quietly at this. He doesn't take notice.

"You'll be fine. Just answer the questions correctly and efficiently with good, reasonable responses." I say to him, while adjusting his shirt collar. He stutters again. "They're not all going to be hard questions... that is, if you don't MAKE them that way." I kiss the corner of his mouth now and walk away before I burst into laughter right in his face.

Distinctly, I hear Sakura ask, 'What color is your underwear?', and I have to fight against the will to laugh.

Yes, I know, that was probably one of the cruelest jokes I've ever played on someone - especially my boyfriend - but, hey, no worries about it. Sakura didn't really ask dirty, personal questions. Sometimes she did, if she really wanted to know something. Though I would never allow for her to do that. I could do that on my own, if I wanted to. She was just going to talk to him alone for a couple of minutes, just to see what kind of guy he really was. Like I said, girlfriends usually did this sort of thing. Once she got herself a boyfriend, then I would do the same for her, although I think that sort of job was more suited for Ino, or any of her other girlfriends than me.

I know I could be staying beside him, but, in all reality, I knew I would end up trying to look for Naruto either way. I start to look around, mainly hoping to just randomly see him pop up right beside me. But he doesn't. So, I scout the area cautiously, weaving in through friends and relatives. But then it hits me. Why exactly am I looking for him anyway? Was it really just to congratulate him? Or because of something else entirely? Like, say, between us, I mean. What would we say to one another? Or, more likely, what could I say to him? It wasn't like I could get back together with him, if that's what I wanted, deep down in the bottom of my heart. It's like I keep telling myself, I have Pein; I'm happy. Why on earth would I want to wreck any of that?

In fact, I don't even think I should be looking for him now anymore. If anything, I was starting to compare myself to all the psycho ex that always happened to come out in movies. Either trying to get into his pants - for old times' sake - or to want to talk about the breakup, and just maybe to get back together. I knew I was THAT ex. Of course, I didn't want to get back together - I think - but I knew I still had feelings for him. So, maybe, if I talked to him, I reasoned, just maybe I could get over them, and I could be done with this whole strenuous situation altogether. Just maybe, right? It wasn't entirely impossible.

"Sasuke!"

I froze. That voice... I turn around slowly. And there he stands before me. Just a few steps away. Naruto. His beard's gone. His hair isn't as messy as I last saw it. It was slightly groomed now. And brighter. A bright shining ray of light in the dark. His eyes, too. His eyes are brighter than ever, the more they're on me. Endless oceans of blue. I smile. He smiles back, and they twinkle even brighter. He raises one of his hands to wave back. I notice it has a cast, and then I remember his 'just a sprain' comment. Yeah, right. I wave back and he approaches me, never once taking his eyes off me. I don't either.

Once we're close to one another, we stare. In silence. Except for, you know, the hard rock music playing in the background, and the chattering, and the laughter, and just everything else in between. I'm the first one to break into the laughter. He follows soon after. It's not awkward. We laugh as though we've been friends for years. Maybe because we're relieved it isn't awkward. For sure, I'm grateful it isn't. I hoped we could stay like this forever. Just... picture perfect normalcy between exes. No weirdness. Just... normal.

If only such a thing were simple.

Then we're quiet again. But we're still smiling at one another. Everything is still there. All the feelings, our history, us. Entirely. It's all there in the silence. Unspoken. Yet we knew, somehow, that it was acknowledged. It couldn't be ignored. Even if we tried.

"Oh, hey, happy birthday." I say. And it's almost like I've broken a spell. "How old are you now?"

He almost looks ashamed to say. He takes a drink from his beer before answering.

"Twenty-three." He replies. I raise my eyebrows. He points at me, shaking his finger as he shakes his head, right about as I'm about to say something. "That's not old."

I hold my hands up.

"I didn't even say anything!" I laugh. "But, I mean, if that's what YOU think, then so be it. You're old." I take a sip of my drink as he clicks his teeth at me, chuckling. I look at his hand in which he has the cast on. I point at it, nodding towards it. He looks down at it and he tries to hide it. He knows it's too late anyway, though. "Thought you said it was just a sprain."

He shrugs, like it doesn't matter.

"I thought so, too. But I've been through worse than this. This doesn't hurt that bad." He tells me. And I suddenly wonder if he means by matters of the heart. Or if he meant it by physical matters. I don't think to ask. I'm too scared. Maybe he does mean it literally. I don't want to look like a fool.

"How much longer until it heals?" I ask instead.

He looks at the cast on his hand, trying to remember. He takes another sip from his beer.

"About two more weeks, I think. I really hope it takes less time, though. I need it." For a moment, I stare at him awkwardly. He's not talking about...? I start to blush. Why would he say that to me? This was NOT casual chit-chat! He stares back at me, confused. "What?"

"You... NEED it? For WHAT... exactly?" I murmur quietly.

And he gets it. He starts laughing nervously, shaking his head at me. Was that a blush?

"Oh, man, no, not that! Not THAT. Why would I tell you something like that? I, uh, well, I'm in training." He rubs the back of his head, still laughing quite nervously at my assumption. He notices the look of confusion on my face. "I recently got into MMA. As a way of anger management. But now it's more for enjoyment, I guess." I continue to stare at him, confused. Like he was speaking in another language. He laughed. "Mixed Martial Arts. I'm training myself up for fights. UFC kind of thing." Still speaking another language, but I understood. Somehow.

Fighting. Though, I've never heard of this UFC thing.

"Never heard of this before. Is it like wrestling?" I ask him.

He does a sort of nod. Then he shakes his head.

"Technically, no. Wrestling is fake, all staged. MMA is real. Raw. Bloody. Lot of broken bones, I believe. Think, bare fists overall."

I stare at him in horror now. Real, raw, and bloody. Broken bones. AND bare fists? Was he crazy? THAT was how he was managing his anger? Though, he was doing it more for enjoyment, he said. Oh, yeah, sure - beating up people with bare fists - REAL enjoyable. Like a bullet to the head was, I'm sure. What the hell was going through his mind? Did he honestly think that this would help his anger issues? If anything, this UFC and MMA thing was fueling it, out of everything else. I wouldn't be surprised if he started beating anyone who gave him dirty looks passing him by in the street. I wondered who put the idea in his head that he should try it. Stupid idiot.

There were other ways he could control his anger. Creatively. Like... oh!

"What about your obsession with filming everything? Is that phase over yet, or what?"

To this, Naruto froze mid-sip. Like I hit something. He got quiet all of a sudden. Too quiet. And now it's awkward. Damn it. He clears his throat.

"It wasn't an obsession." He counters. I smack myself mentally. Why did I have to bring it up? The only time he ever filmed something was when it was with me. And it was on his phone. Why don't I think before I talk? "I... liked doing that. I still do it from time to time. But I just haven't gotten inspired lately." He shakes his head, as though shaking this talk from him entirely. A grin returns on his lips now. Though we both know it's fake. We keep it to ourselves. "What about you? Bet you've been more inspired than I have been lately." He nods behind me as he takes a sip. I don't need to take a look behind me. I know what he's talking about, WHO he's talking about. Yet I still turn around. Pein and Sakura are talking deeply about something, then they start laughing. I turn back to Naruto. He doesn't look back at me. He looks anywhere else but me, continuing to drink the rest of his beer. I can see it in his eyes that this bothers him. By a lot. Obviously. Jealousy. Shit. I'm starting to fear for the worst. "Metal-face, huh? Didn't think you liked him." His eyes are sharp now as he turns to look back at me.

I'm not afraid, I tell myself and I repeat it in my head like a mantra. Over and over again. I don't know what he's capable of doing in this state. Whether he'd hurt me, or hurt him. Or hurt everyone in between. I've actually never seen him jealous before, so pardon me if I may seem uneasy. I calm my racing heart as I stare into the intensity of his blue eyes.

"Don't do that, Naruto." I say. "There's no need to be this way. It's my life, you said. I can date whoever I want. You said not to let you stop me from dating him."

"I know what I said." He replies. He almost sounds angry. Yeah, no shit. "I DID say that. I know. I also said that it would bother me if you were dating him. Need I explain my reason any more than I should?" I shake my head. There was no need for that at all. I knew what he was feeling. I didn't need to be reminded. I didn't want to feel guilty. He inhales deeply, taking a breath, calming himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be acting this way. He makes you happy, so, yeah, I should be happy... that he makes you happy, I mean. I'm not happy that you're with him, but I'm happy for you, nonetheless. Congratulations to you both." He tips the bottle of beer to his lips once more to drink. There isn't any left. He sighs and throws the bottle on the ground angrily. It thuds soundly. He holds his arms behind his head, as though relaxing, but I know he's far from it. He groans and runs his hands over his face. "Is it better if I just... NOT care about you anymore? Force myself to stop thinking about you? Just... clear my mind of you completely? I think it would be a good idea and I've tried to do so many times, but then I start to think of us. And I start to miss everything about you. I don't want to get rid of those memories, you know? I want to make more. But now I see you with him and everything just falls flat. Should I just forget? Or keep my hopes up? In hopes that someday - just SOMEDAY - we might be back together again? You tell me what I should do because I don't know anymore. Please."

This... wasn't the way I hoped things would go. And this wasn't a conversation we should be having out in the open! With friends and relatives and my boyfriend sitting many feet behind me. This was private stuff! And the things he was telling me. That was just putting pressure on me. He was asking ME what I think HE should do. I couldn't ask him to do things - or not to do things - because I tell him to. He shouldn't be providing such a responsibility over me. I wasn't in charge of what he desired to do, or not to do. It was barbaric. I was speechless.

Even so, I don't think I'd be able to provide him with a solution, given that I still had those feelings for him. If I told him to forget it, then that meant I should forget it, too. Then I take his words into account. He doesn't want to forget, he doesn't want to rid of the memories of us. I didn't either. But that didn't mean I had to be selfish and keep him tied to me like a balloon. If I was happy, he had a right to be happy. Though, he didn't need me to help him realize that. He was twenty-three; he could realize all this on his own. He certainly didn't need my help.

I just can't find the words within me to say anything. I really am speechless.

However, I hear Sakura's voice coming near, and then an arm wraps around my waist and Pein's by my side, smiling. Then everything just happens in slow motion around me, around Naruto. And, just like before, everything seems to blend in together into one hum, one sound. I can hear a chorus of 'Happy Birthday' in the distance. I mouth the words. I still can't find my voice. Then a cake is brought into view, before Naruto and I, and then a crowd starts to form around us, pushing us towards the table. The numbers '23' are lit, flickering as the singing continues.

There's laughter, chattering. I stare, frozen, at the flickering candles, mesmerized, but then I hear, 'Make a wish, Naruto!', and my eyes tear away to look into the eyes of the man across from me. He stares right back into my eyes. Intently. He's not even making this a secret anymore. I don't even know what to think.

Pein squeezes me, murmuring something I don't catch. I nod numbly - to what, I don't know - as Naruto blows the candles. He smiles my way. I catch myself smiling back, too, automatically.

And I know I'm completely fucked.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Man, that was hard to write. Especially if I'm listening to Adele songs on repeat (specifically, Turning Tables, which was, more of likely, heavily influenced on Sasuke and Naruto's part, by the way; listen to it sometime) as I wrote this. It's depressing. Well, for me. Lol. I loved writing this, anyway. :)

So, tell me what you think of it, please; review! :D

- With **much, much** _adored_ love, **KK247** -


	18. Moments

**A/N:** I know, I've been away for far too long. I'm very sorry. My inspiration fuel is thinning. But I got my shit together. All with the help of manga and AMVs. Lol.

Anyway, I shouldn't bore you with the details of my life; enjoy! :D

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>"Well, Sasuke, what about this one?"<p>

"What is it?"

"'The Psychology Club'. Sounds interesting. I'd join it."

"Mmm, no. Not my cup of tea." I say, rifling through pages of the last year's yearbook randomly, then snort. "What would even be talked about in a 'Psychology Club,' anyway?"

Tayuya beside me shrugs.

"I don't know. The brain, maybe?"

"Ooh, tough call for you, Shion." Kagura remarks, laughing. Shion gives her the finger immediately. It's a strange sight to see her doing such a thing, mostly because Shion's such a sweetheart. I laugh.

"Man... there aren't many clubs around here for you to join, are there?" Tayuya murmurs, then takes the yearbook from me, rifling through the pages quickly, searching. "Interesting enough clubs to catch your eye, I mean. You don't have many choices, Sasuke. 'Cause you DON'T like sports, you DON'T like music all that much, you DON'T have any talents -"

"Hey, I have PLENTY of talents!" I argue, even though both she and I know what was said was, in fact, true. I struggle to look for some sort of talent I might have magically acquired at this moment, just to possibly prove her wrong. No luck. Shoot. She stares at me, unamused, proving her point. I hang my head in shame. "Yeah, okay..." She continues, still rifling through pages, waving her right hand actively as she spoke.

"You COULD join a club for volunteering hours. Or help the Drama Club with their production; they need help with painting some of the props, so you could do that." She looks back up at me, then notices the way I scrunch my nose in distaste at her suggestions. She shuts the yearbook and looks at me seriously now. "What, Sasuke? What is it? None of them good enough for you?"

"No, it's just that... well... Volunteering? 'Drama Club'? Those are my only other choices?"

She nods.

"Pretty much. Like I said, you have no interests. I mean, don't you like to do ANYTHING?" She looks at me expectantly. And I stare at her blankly. Because, honest to God, I can't think of anything I like to do. I can't seem to find my calling. Mostly because, duh, I'm not good at anything. I wish I could say I that I am good at something, or that I am talented, or that I spend my time honing my skills to perfection. But, no. If I were to say that I were capable of doing any of that, it would be a lie. I can't do shit.

An arm wraps around my shoulder as a body slides in to rest comfortably against mine. I smile, bowing my head in embarrassment at the looks the girls give me.

"Sasuke likes to do things." Pein says. I pick my head up immediately. Knowing him and his personality - and his perverted sense of being at times - I knew what he was about to say next. He looks down at me as I stare him down warningly. And he falters, chuckling nervously, then he looks back up at the girls, waving them off. "Never mind. Sasuke doesn't like to do anything." They laugh, shaking their heads. But then he straightens up, clearly wondering the source of the question. "Why is it of any importance what Sasuke likes to do? What's going on?"

"We're trying to find a good club or organization that he can join. You know, as an extracurricular activity for after school." Shion answers, taking the yearbook from Tayuya now, flipping through pages just as she had done. Pein nods, agreeing, and opens his mouth as though to offer input. Kagura beats him to the punch.

"But, seeing as there's nothing left he can POSSIBLY join, we don't have many choices now." Kagura adds, joining in on the fun of flipping through the yearbook pages with Shion. She looks up at me. "What is so bad about all of these clubs we've suggested? They're fun."

"I know." I mutter. "But they aren't something that I would enjoy being in. I have to like the club that I'm in. Otherwise, I won't be having a wondrous, joyful experience there."

"Ugh. So picky." Kagura growls, rolling her eyes as she leans back against the booth. "You don't necessarily have to enjoy it."

"Uh, yeah, I do. That's what clubs and organizations are mostly all about." I reply.

"I thought they were all about meeting new people via common interests." Shion says. I suppose as a way of distracting an escalating argument that both Kagura and I were about to partake in. I wasn't surprised. Blowouts between the two of us got rather scary.

"They are." Tayuya responds. "Although, nowadays, it's mostly about competition." She seems to think about this for a moment. She shakes her head. "Yeah, perhaps joining a club isn't the smartest thing right now, Sasuke. Savage beasts that people are when competitions come around. Maybe next year?" I raise my eyebrows at her. She has to be joking. I wait, as though expecting her to start laughing. But she doesn't. And then she finally gets it, smacking her forehead. So, no; I don't think she was joking. "Sorry! You're expecting to be in a club THIS year. 'Cause it's your last year. Right. Got it. Sorry."

"No big deal." I laugh. "But, yeah, that was originally the plan. I apologize immensely if you would have liked me to join a club next year. Because we all know that that sort of thing would have gone over so well." The whole table starts to laugh with me.

Tayuya rolls her eyes at me, waving me away. But she's smiling, either way.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. It was a simple mistake. Let it go."

So I do. I don't think it wise to continue with my teasing. Tayuya's worse off than Kagura. Temper-wise. But you never heard that from me.

"Hey, how about getting a job?" Pein suddenly suggests. The girls agree with his suggestion.

I don't.

Maybe because I've never had a job before and I've never desired in having one, never thought about it. The idea of having a job seemed like a lot of work. Yeah, I know, duh. I'm just a lazy fuck is all, sue me. And, hell, when I think of getting a job, I think of fast food. And, when I think of fast food, I think of how big I used to be. Fast food was mostly the cause of my obesity. Well, that, and lack of self control. Knowing me, if I started working, I'd be tempted to eat. Whether I worked at a fast food restaurant or not - I'm a fat kid; well, I WAS the fat kid, but deep inside, I'm still fat Sasuke, despite my outward appearance - I'd figure out ways on just exactly HOW I'll be able to get my hands on the deliciously greasy, fattening food. Trust me; I'd find a way.

"Uhm, no. I don't think that's a good idea. I've never had a job. I bet no one would even consider hiring me." I reply, looking over at Pein. He clicks his teeth at me, clearly disagreeing. Come on, Pein; I know you're my boyfriend and all, and you're supposed to sugarcoat things for me and all that jazz, but I really doubt you would consider hiring me either. "Really! There are no jobs available for an inexperienced eighteen year old like me."

I sounded like a complete idiot. Of course they would hire someone as inexperienced as me! That's what jobs were for - to ACQUIRE experience. My boyfriend was obviously thinking the same thing I was. As were the girls, obviously, with the way they were shaking their heads at me, laughing.

"You've got to be kidding me, Sasuke." He sighs, chuckling. "How the hell do you think people got their jobs? They were inexperienced at one point in their lives too." He ruffled my hair as I looked down at the table instead, to avoid the confrontation he was presenting himself against me with. I didn't like it when I was being proved wrong. I especially didn't like it when he ruffled my hair; that was insulting. It was like he was laughing at just exactly how stupid I was. I shake it off. But he wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Look, we'll go look for a job for you today, right after school, all right? Loads of places are bound to be hiring, for sure. I'm even more sure that they'll be looking for inexperienced eighteen year olds everywhere. Besides, I know how much you need money."

I scowl.

"I don't need money."

He wasn't convinced. I wasn't either. I actually did need money. Lots of it, indeed. I'd been complaining to him days prior to this conversation about how I never had money to afford my own things. I always had to ask my parents, but it didn't always work out the way I expected it to. They always said no. Of course, it's expected with parents. Should have seen it coming. Besides, it was about time I got myself a job, right? I was no use around the house if I was lazing about. I rarely helped my mother around the house, now that she needed it more than ever, what with only a few months left in her pregnancy. Geez, what kind of lazy, heartless fuck was I? What would my little brother think of me once he was born?

...Yeah, I suppose I could get a job.

"Fine." I concur, exasperated. A grin splits across Pein's face. I jab my pinky finger in his face. "Promise you'll help me look for one?"

He nods affirmatively.

"We'll apply everywhere, if it'll make you feel any better." He chuckles and links his pinky finger over mine in promise. "It'll be fun." I scoff, knowing it will most likely be the opposite of fun. Which only makes him chuckle even more as he embraces me and presses my face against his chest, offering a bone-crushing bear hug in exchange for my sullen attitude.

It works. I start laughing. And then our table is all smiles and mindless chatter and gossiping again. Even more as I'm leaning against my boyfriend's chest now, about as comfortable as I was the day I was born. Like I belonged here with Pein, like this. With my friends, laughing and gossiping about the dumbest things. Sure, it wasn't exactly a picture perfect Kodak moment and all, but I loved this whole scenario more than anything else.

I never thought this could be my life. I always thought I was going to end up having to suffer through my senior year alone and friendless and... well, you know the rest. All of this still just felt so surreal to me. I still couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the whole being of this thing such as my life as reality.

I guess I'd been sheltered for too long now that I just sort of happen to diminish any sense of happiness entering my life completely. Especially when I associated myself with people like this - the beautiful people. Vaguely, I wondered whether I'd be considered as such now. I mean, I was in the higher power of the social hierarchy nowadays. That didn't mean I was instantly considered one of the 'beauties', though. Perhaps by Pein, anyway.

...At least, I would like to think so. He's still with me, so that's a plus, I suppose.

* * *

><p>"Look, babe, all you got to do is go up to the register and ask for an application. That's ALL you have to do. It's not that hard." Pein says to me as he parks in front of McDonald's, as a way of offering comforting words. Which doesn't help.<p>

Anxiety is creeping up on me heavily now. I stare at the fast food restaurant before me, fiddling my fingers in my lap anxiously. I didn't know why going up to people and asking for a simple job application was so hard for me. It wasn't that difficult. It shouldn't have to be. Why couldn't I do this most meaningless task? Just how socially anxious was I?

"...But why can't you come in with me? Just for emotional support?" I plead softly, still staring into the haunting windows of this restaurant.

Pein sucks in his teeth in at this suggestion.

"Kind of defeats the purpose of getting a job, doesn't it? Having your boyfriend come in with you? For emotional support? Honestly, Sasuke, if I could, I would. But I can't." He replies, then he takes my hand. Slowly, I turn to look at him. He's smiling. I can't smile back. I'm terrified to my core. I'm shaking. My heart is racing. Can't he see that? "I don't see any reason for you to be scared. It's not like they're going to magically decide not to hire you in just that moment you walk in through the doors. It doesn't work like that."

Of course, I knew that would never happen. Impossible. Yet...

I look back at the restaurant.

"...What if they suddenly decide to input that policy?" I ask. My boyfriend snorts, shaking his head at me. Yes, I know I'm being stupid. But I can't help it. I've been rejected countless times that I actually expect such a thing to happen to me. Even the most dumbest of the dumb.

"That is, by far, the most unrealistic and farfetched thing ever to happen to anyone. No sane person would do that. No one is that cruel." He tells me, running his fingers through my hair. He sighs suddenly. Then he clicks his seatbelt off and turns to face me. "I realize how difficult this all is for you, Sasuke, to suddenly just go out and look for a job. I know. I've been there. We all have been. It's hard for some of us. It might not be that way for the other half. But, sometimes, you just have to throw all your insecurities out the window and fucking go for it. You have to look at your life and realize sometime, like, 'Shit, I have to grow the hell up and be an adult now; that sucks. Oh, well, might as well get it over with and look for a job.'" He cups at my face as I look down at my fingers, guilty. Mostly because I haven't been thinking like that at all. Why haven't I been thinking like that? Am I even normal for not doing so? "Babe, you've got to do this alone. Just like you went through your awkward phase. You went through it alone, didn't you?"

I nod instantly.

I knew he was referring to my fat phase. He asked me about it a week into our relationship. I told him everything. Why I lost it all, what had inspired me to do so, what I thought of myself during that phase.

"See? That was easy, right? Took some dedication and hard work, so I suppose that this sort of thing shouldn't be that hard, compared to your life-changing decision." He pokes at the tip of my nose, grinning. "That sort of shit takes a lot of guts. So, come on..." He kisses my forehead, unbuckles my seatbelt, and opens my side. I stare at him now. His gray eyes shine brightly. "I know you can do this. This is a cakewalk, compared to all that you've done."

This should probably have inspired me to march in there all confident and stuff, right? Balls of steel that I would magically acquire in the moment? Nope. I'm really trying to find it in me to grow out of my blue balls, but it's difficult. I have to take several breaths to calm myself. I'm still shaking like a leaf, but I try to calm myself. You know, for both our sake.

I can't keep acting like this - like a child - I had more dignity than that. I was a grown man. So, there was no reason why this sort of stuff should be bothering me at this moment. Like Pein said, 'This is a cakewalk, compared to all that you've done'. I mean, I suppose it is. Losing all the weight WAS pretty tough. No reason why this would be twice as hard and such, compared to that.

Geez, it's about time I grew some cojones and grab life by the horns and ride it raw until I can't take it any longer.

...Sounds wrong, but it works. Sort of.

Okay, okay, no more dicking around. I have to do this.

Take a deep breath, Sasuke. Calm your nerves. You have balls of steel; think steel-y. You can do this. You are the little engine that could. Go, go, go, go, go. Fucking choo-choo your way into that restaurant and get a fucking job application and fill that shit up. Without shame. Never had a job before or any wondrous references, but you're not going to let that shit stop you from applying to fucking McDonald's. Yeah. Not going to let that stop you at all.

I can do it! Insert manly growl and flexing of pectoral muscles and other parts of the body here. Of course, I have no muscles - Pein packs it in for the both of us pretty well - but I'd like to think that I do, sometimes.

But that's besides the point!

I turn over to Pein, give him a look of what I hope looks like determination, and step out of the car to walk into the restaurant I hope will give me a job just as soon as I step into it. What high-lived expectational dreams I set myself out for, don't I?

Ah, if only.

So, as I close the door to the car and walk towards the restaurant, I can feel myself shaking. And then I start to doubt myself and my abilities of being able to do this. But I look back at Pein sitting all by his lonesome in the car, watching me - smiling at me - and my confidence is regenerated once more. At least, just a little. Either way, it's enough.

There was no way I was about to turn back. I'd already stepped into the restaurant. And, man, I never realized it was this big inside. Maybe because my sole focus was food and not presentation of restaurant. However, this time, my main focus is not food, I tell myself.

I'm looking for a job. That's ALL I'm doing.

I approach the register and, as soon as I do, I'm greeted by a familiar face. And confidence and determination is replaced entirely. By what? I have no clue. Distraction, maybe, but what do I know?

"Gaara."

At the sound of his name, the redheaded guy behind the register looks up, distracted. As soon as he realizes it's me, Gaara smiles. It's been a while since I last saw him. I mean, well, I've seen him and all, waved to him and stuff, but we hadn't really hung out or talked a whole lot since that junk food run. I haven't seen Hinata around either as much nowadays. I noticed something different about him - he got quite taller.

But maybe he was always tall and I never noticed...?

"Hey, Sasuke." He says. "What are you doing here?" He probably realizes how stupid his question might sound to other people around. What with it being in a restaurant and all. "That was... an unnecessary question, I believe. You're here to order. Sorry." He clicks a couple of buttons on the cash register. "How can I help you?"

I laugh, shaking my head.

"As surprising as it may sound, I'm not even here to order." I take a deep breath, which I don't deem all that necessary anymore, since my nerves are practically shot out the window now. I know Gaara, so it's not all that scary to be broadcasting my desire for employment. "I'm here to look for a job."

His fingers retract from the cash register and a knowing look rests over his features, understanding.

"All right, awesome." He says, smiling, as he takes out an application from below who knows where. "But I'm letting you know now that our boss isn't hiring anyone at the moment. He's convinced everyone's doing a great job around here. I mean, I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I've seen quite a number of violations. So, it's only a matter of time before the boss notices any of these and, soon enough, job openings galore." He slides the application towards me, along with a pen, then bows his head, lowering his voice. "Just... letting you know."

I smile and play along, then take the application and pen just as secretly as he is handing it to me.

"Thanks for letting me know." I whisper, like it's a secret, chuckling. "I'll bring it over once I'm done."

He nods.

"And I'll be waiting here, taking orders." And he smiles.

I turn away from him and head towards a nearby table and begin to fill in only information that I can that is applicable to me. Which, in reality, isn't all that much to fill out. Just, you know, the basic stuff, like, where I live, my age, my job desire, which school I go to. And, well, you know, employment history, but, like I said, I fill in only information that is applicable to me. It's kind of sad to see that that's one of the only things on this piece of paper that is very, very sadly empty. Basically, I have nothing to impress what MAY turn out to be my future employer.

Oh, woe is me and my sad employment history.

It doesn't really take me long to fill in anything more, so I'm pretty much done now. Although, I find it quite difficult to get up out of this seat and hand in this paper. Even with all that I wrote on it, which isn't much at all and with my heavy handwriting, no less, it honestly feels like I haven't really written anything.

But that's how some people started, I tell myself - no skills, no experience; nothing - yet I'm sure more than most people hired them, right? Because they looked presentable, or they looked like good kids, or they looked like they were hard workers? I mean, two out of three isn't so bad for me. There's a small chance that I could be hired just for the sole sake of hiring.

Geez, I only hoped so.

Once I get up from my seat to hand over my sad application - and enough courage as well - Gaara's finishing up a customer's order. As I approach the register, he raises his eyebrows at me questioningly. As if in shock. I'm not surprised.

I hand him my application. He takes it, looking it over briefly.

"Done already? That was fast..." He murmurs. I only nod. He looks it over once more. Really looking hard now. He sucks in a breath quietly. "Looks like you don't really have much written on here..." Then he notices my look of discomfort at my lack of skills and such. He composes himself once more. "This isn't... I mean, it's not ALL bad. Most of the people who work here started off worse off than you did. Some couldn't even spell their names... At least you have grammar down." He chuckles nervously, running his fingers through his hair, shaking his head.

Great. I have grammar down. Like THAT'S going to help with anything in the fast food industry.

But Gaara was just trying to make me feel better. I could at least give the guy a laugh, right? So, I do. Not an over-the-top, forced, or faked laugh. Just a quiet chuckle. It's enough to keep the guy satisfied.

...Huh. He smiles a lot.

But the emotion is gone just as quickly as he stuffs my job application into the counter below the cash register.

"So, what made you want to apply here, anyway?" He asks, but then adds. "Not that it's a bad thing, or anything... It's just a rare choice..."

I shrug, shaking my head.

"Sadly, it wasn't my choice. Pein thought I should get a job. I'm only following through with his wishes." I reply. He nods, understanding.

"Good to see he's got big dreams of you working here." He laughs.

I snicker, shaking my head.

"Yeah, his first thought probably was, 'Ooh, free burgers; perfect job landing for Sasuke!' No doubt about it, knowing him." I roll my eyes, sighing. Then I remember Pein. Jesus, how long have I been in here? He was probably cursing my existence for burning off all the gas left in his car. Unless he was sitting in there with the car turned off... While he was boiling under the extreme raping heat of the sun's rays. Bad boyfriend that you are, Sasuke! Bad! "Geez, I forgot. He's waiting outside for me. I have to go. Let me know if there are any openings, all right? I probably won't even be considered as a formidable candidate for any of those openings, but I'll keep my chin up."

Gaara nods, chuckling.

"Sure. I'll talk my boss into hiring you. I will find a way. I'm positive he'll consider you." Then, just as I'm about to head out with a smile on my face, he calls my name. I turn. "I almost forgot to tell you. I'm having a Halloween party next weekend." He then stops himself, shaking his head, chuckling. "Well, technically, it's my brother and sister planning it and all, but they said I could invite whoever I wanted. I've already invited Hinata. And your friends, too, in case you would want to hang out with them at the party. All who was left to invite was you two. I'd really like it if the both of you could come. I'm not inputting a costume requirement or anything, so you guys don't have to wear one. That is ONLY if you don't want to. All your choice."

I smile, then look over to Pein's car. There was no way if he were to be invited to a party would he ever turn it down. Especially if he was allowed to wear an absurd costume of his choice. I wouldn't turn it down either. Gaara was my friend. And, well, dressing up in costume seemed like something I couldn't exactly pass up, now that I lost all the weight (I didn't exactly dress up for Halloween as much the years before; self-esteem was still too low). I could do SO much more now without getting too embarassed about myself! I look back at Gaara.

"Wouldn't miss it. Let me give you my number so you can text me the information when you get off from work, okay?" I say, and he nods, then hands me a pen and his hand. I write my number on the top of his hand. It takes me a while to remember my number, but I manage. I hand him back the pen. He retracts his hand and blows softly on the fresh ink. "Write it down on a paper, in case it gets worn off."

He nods.

"Will do." He chuckles. "I'll see you at school, then, hopefully, if we ever bump into each other again."

"No doubt about it that we will." I laugh. "See ya." I wave at him just as I'm heading towards the door.

He waves back and then he's back to work with the next customer in line. With a big smile on his face and what I deem as an apology slip from his lips. Good thing. I mean, seriously, if I were waiting in line while a worker was talking it up with a friend, I'd want an apology, too. I'd need to learn some manner and proper ettiquette pointers from Gaara, if I ever WERE to be considered for a job. Although, this shouldn't be my only choice. I still had to apply at other places. Even more so, I preferred to be chosen to work here with Gaara. It'd be nice to work with someone I knew. Right? Familiarize myself to my new surroundings comfortably, at least.

...Then again, that might cause a distraction amongst my tasks. Agh, there was no winning with this whole 'getting a job' situation.

As I slide back into the passenger side, Pein is just finishing up with a call. Once I shut the door, he turns over to me, a huge smile on his face. For some reason, though, it looked forced... But I guess maybe that just my paranoid side acting up.

"Hey, see? Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He asks me, teasingly.

I shake my head.

"Especially if a familiar face is tending the cash register." I reply.

"Who?"

"Your long lost twin brother, Gaara."

This time, his smile widens, and he starts chuckling.

"That dude? Really? He works here? No way. He seems way too vanilla-rich to be working at a place like this..."

I raise my eyebrows at his comment.

"I'm sorry... Vanilla-rich?"

"Yeah, vanilla-rich. Rich boy, goody two-shoes kind of dude. Pulls straight A's, always has a pocketful of twenties, connections with the big business-type people. Never would have pegged him as the working man." He looks at the restaurant, mustering up a 'not bad' face, then turns back to me. "Huge respecting props to that dude for working in the fast food industry."

"As well for another reason..." I tell him, and he raises his eyebrows at me. "He invited us to the Halloween party he's having at his house next weekend." To these fateful words, his whole face just brightens up immensely.

"Seriously?" I nod. He's all giddy inside; I can sense it. He's practically bursting at the seams. But he controls himself. For the most part. His eyes have taken on a look. A look that I knew all too well; he had an idea. "I have the perfect costume. Everyone's going to love it. It's going to be hi-LAR-ious!" Which I knew was code for 'it's going to be something so obscure that only a certain amount of people will get the hilarity which is behind the idea of my costume' or, you know, it was just something really weird, knowing him and the way his mind worked.

Though, I don't let him know I think that. I only smile and bear with the strangeness that is that of my boyfriend. And then, just like that, we're on the road once more. To apply for more jobs. Damn. However, he's not speaking to me for the moment that we're driving. All the joy that stemmed from the excitement of Gaara's party was gone. Pein was serious now. We were driving in complete and utter silence, which was a rare thing between us. We always had something to talk about. There was never a moment full of awkward silence.

Something was up. Either it was that call that he had moments before I had gotten into the car, or something else entirely, but I didn't feel at all comfortable. I wanted to ask what was wrong, though I felt that was just be me being nosy and paranoic. Trying to make a big thing out of something so small - there was probably nothing wrong with Pein; he probably just wanted a moment for himself. I mean, we HAD been spending all of our time together. In school AND out of school. What he needed was just silence, at least for a while. From me, possibly. Maybe I was becoming a handful -

No, Sasuke! Don't go there. You are NOT going to that place again. Think positive thoughts; positive! There's probably a whole crapload of things on his mind. It IS our senior year; he's probably just worrying about his credits, or his family, or maybe he's thinking about nothing at all, and you're overanalyzing this whole situation. Maybe he's focused on driving carefully, seeing as he's so used to his motorcycle. I'm sure of it. Nothing to worry about, Sasuke. Lose that negativity right NOW!

...But, I mean, if I'm so concerned about it, then I should ask, right? Only if it bothers me that much... Which it doesn't. Not a lot. Oh, fuck it, of course it bothers me.

"Pein..." He seems to snap into reality, all of a sudden. Like I snapped him out of deep in thought. Fuck. I bet he WAS just thinking about other things. I couldn't keep quiet now. His attention was on me now. "Uh... are you okay? You're really quiet."

He nods immediately.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just thinking..." He suddenly sighs, shaking his head. Oh, here it comes. He slows the car slightly, until he's parked comfortably on the side of the road and out of harm's way of oncoming traffic, puts it in park, leaving the engine running as his hands rest on the wheel. Then he looks over at me... and suddenly gets this nervous look on his face. "Um, I... Sasuke, just how much do you know about me? Like, personal things about me...?"

I couldn't say I knew a lot because I didn't. I don't think I did. And I couldn't say I didn't know much; that would just make me look bad. All I could muster up, however, was a confused stare, a small shake of the head, and half a twitch of an unsure shrug. I don't know if this response seemed to be the right one or the wrong one...

But he takes my hand. Although, I don't know what to make of that. He kisses the back of my hand once, then looks me in the eyes.

"Okay, now, first of all, you have to promise me that you won't get mad about any of this. Try to understand why I believed I was in the right as not to tell you." Okay, this was scaring me. Whatever he did - whatever he was keeping a secret from me - I wasn't going to guarantee that I wasn't about to get mad at him. Still... whatever it was that he believed to be a guilt-free trip, I had to give him hope. So, I nod. And he continues - with much hesitation. "...I have a daughter."

And I'm sure he awaits a blow to the head, or some sort of screaming, or a melodramatic breakup on my part, or, you know, something crazy. I mean, he didn't exactly know how my emotions and feelings worked, compared to his calm self. Even more so, I didn't even know what to say. It was surreal, this moment. Everything outside of the car has gone quiet. The traffic is muted as cars zoom past Pein's window. It shakes the car several times. But we're quiet. So still. Both highly aware of any sudden movement on our part that could alter the situation.

What could I say to this confession? It didn't seem like the right thing to get mad over. He had a daughter. Sure, it was a big deal and everything, so I understood why Pein kept her a secret in his life. For the most part. Understandable. We've been going out for about a month or so now; it seems like a respectable amount of time before one opens up a big ass can of secret worms. Although, we did know each other for quite a while before we started going out, so getting mad about keeping a something like this - a secret child - did seem like a reasonable approach. For insane people, maybe. However, having a child out of wedlock and having sex before one turned eighteen nowadays was pretty common, so I had to be prepared for this news either way. Even if it was my boyfriend's kid.

Now, believe me, I was shocked, but it didn't bother me as much as it would other people. Why was there any need for overreactions? In fact, over everything else, I was curious about this little girl. Pein's daughter. I wondered whether she looked more like Pein or the mother.

The mother. Now I wondered how long ago he had been with the mother last. Just how old was he when he first was intimate with her? How old was his daughter?

"Sasuke...? Say something. Please. I know it's - It's too much to handle right now, I get it. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner... But then I got a call from my ex, telling me that today I was supposed to see her and, well, I was with you, and time kind of... got away... from me. I was going to tell you sooner, but -" He was starting to ramble. I rested my two fingers over his lips as a way of keeping him quiet and calm. He relaxed easily, eyes watching me, looking guilty.

"Hey, it's fine. You had every right to keep mum about this. I'm not mad. Relax." I tell him, stroking his face. He pulls away slightly.

"I feel really bad about it, though. Because it's my daughter, and then it's you. I forget about her when I'm with you. What kind of father forgets about his daughter the minute someone comes into the picture? That's why I feel twice as bad and as ashamed as I should be feeling." He groans irritatingly, resting his head on his palm. "I need to spend more time with her..."

I nod, but I say nothing more. What could I even say? I was never faced with a situation like this, so words of comfort from me would probably be useless, it would seem. I grasp his hand instead. He seems to relax once more. Though, it doesn't seem to do any more than just that. I'm sure he still feels pretty guilty.

Agh, how stupid can I be - of course he feels guilty! I don't even have any children and I'm sure I would feel the same way. What he needed, most of all - to ease his conscious and entirety - was to see his daughter. He should be with her, loving her, spoiling her, and coddling her foolishly. And I was in Pein's way of doing so.

I look ahead to the road.

"...Maybe you should take me home. You ought to spend time with your daughter. I'm probably in the way." I was pinning myself as the victim. I didn't want to do that. It would only make Pein feel worse. I strived for a different approach. "It would make me happy, knowing you're spending time with her. I'm being selfish here, keeping you all to myself." I chuckle, as a way of diffusing the tension. It works. A smile cracks its way through his lips. Only slightly. There was still that guilty look in his eyes.

He looks down, shaking his head.

"I don't want to take you home, Sasuke. I want..." His voice trails off, murmuring softly. I don't catch what he says, but there's no need for my telling him to repeat himself. He meets my gaze confidently now. "I'd like you to meet her. I mean, you've become a pretty important person in my life. It's only fair that she meets you... Although, I understand if you wouldn't want to; I AM springing all of this new information on you JUST today... No, but, yeah, I mean, I'd understand if you didn't WANT to -" My two fingers rest on his lips yet again.

"What's her name?" I ask gently, very, very quietly - almost whispering - in hopes of calming my overzealous heartbeat.

His eyes immediately become soft.

"...Sachiko." He responds tenderly through the barrier of my two fingers, smiling faintly. But, even so, I can see just how much he loves her. Just by that small smile. By that look. By the way he relaxes just so easily at the mention of her name. I smile, letting my fingers slip from his lips to his chest as I kiss his cheek, murmuring my next question of wonder and curiosity.

"How old is she?"

"Two."

"When was she born?"

"September thirteenth."

"Is she mischievous?"

"...Only sometimes, when she doesn't get what she wants. Other than that, she's a very calm child. Happy, most of the time."

"Even around strangers?"

"She takes a moment to get used to the person, but, yes, eventually, she lets herself be held by that person for a long period of time."

"How long is that 'long period of time,' exactly?"

"Depends on how much she likes you."

"...And how would I know if she does?"

"If she slobbers you with open-mouthed kisses, or randomly hugs you around the neck, or plays with your hair, or stares at you."

"...What if she does none of that with me?"

"She will, believe me."

I don't know if it will all go down that way when I meet her, but, as we're driving down to go pick her up, Pein offers me some pointers on how I can get her smiling or laughing. I don't know if I'll do any of which he offers me to do, considering I'm not very comfortable with babies. I haven't been near any for quite a while.

When we arrive at his ex's house, I notice a striking young woman with blonde hair with a young toddler in her arms standing right in the driveway. Little Sachiko turns to the sound of Pein's car approaching, and I'm thoroughly stunned by just how similar both the young woman and her look alike. Her hair is just as beautiful as the young woman's blonde hair. Her features are eerily similar to that of Pein's sharp features. She acquired his silver eyes as well, I notice, just as we're both approaching them.

Sachiko squeals happily as Pein releases my hand to take her into his arms. I stand there awkwardly as the three revel in their moment of family happiness, and I feel as though I've never been so lonely before. Like I didn't belong here with Pein.

But I feel whole again, once the young woman greets me cheerfully, introducing herself as Moeki, whilst Pein immediately introduces me as his boyfriend Sasuke. I blush, and Moeki just laughs. And, just as she laughs, Sachiko peers over her father's shoulder to look at me. Her silver eyes gleam, and, suddenly, she reaches for me, tiny hands grasping in the air. I feel awkward at this little action, but I'm happy, nonetheless. I look at Moeki, as though asking for permission, even if I don't need to. But Pein hands her to me.

I'm frozen in place as she places her tiny hands over my face and in my hair. She's giggling, babbling words of underdeveloped baby talk. My hearts practically melts at the sound. I look into her eyes, smiling. I can feel both Pein and Moeki watching me for a brief moment before resuming their conversation about Sachiko's schedule, when she was due back, just how long she was staying with Pein, and what she was and wasn't allowed to eat while she was staying over with him. All while my boyfriend batted away her worries, telling her just how capable he was of taking care of his own daughter.

Then I refocus my attention back to the cute little ball of flesh in my arms. She's staring at me. I smile, then stick my tongue out at her. She does the same, but only cuter. She has the same behavior and antics like Pein does. So happy. So loveable...

I look at my boyfriend. He stares back at me. My heart bubbles with excitement with such a look. I'm insanely happy to be here with him, and with his daughter, sharing this moment.

And, truth be told, I don't think there was ever a moment that I was happier than I was now.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Well, I know this probably wasn't something you were expecting. Haha. I have been waiting to add this specific piece of information to the story ever since I paired Pein and Sasuke together. Yes, I know, how sad that that is the only thing I will ever have to look forward to in my life. Fictional characters' lives. XD

**Review,** please! :)

- With much, **much** adored love, **KK247** -


	19. My Own Selfish Fault

**A/N: **Well, darlings, here is the next installment. I'm pleased. Mostly because this chapter is a bit longer and much more, ehm... detailed, I suppose you could say. I won't reveal much, obviously. But I suppose this is a big detail into this story. So, prepare to be shocked.

Enjoy (or not)!

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>The weekend, at last. Saturday. What a beautiful day.<p>

"Oh, geez, when is this baby going to come out of me?! I'm so tired of seeing this same old bump greeting me in the face first thing in the morning! Get out. Get out, get out, get out! Get. OUT!"

Well, that was short-lived.

To say that today was not a good day to be near my mother would be very much so that of an understatement. She was a ticking time bomb of random bouts of anger. And, to be fairly honest, she was also highly susceptible to hitting, as well as throwing things.

I could say that she probably had every right to hit my father. He was, after all, the one who put her in this situation in the first place. Or throw things, I guess... Although, I know it's not exactly the healthiest output of getting out her irritation from the baby.

But, so far, she's gotten my father and Itachi. All that's left is me. Which is particularily why I'm avoiding her up here in my room.

...And why Itachi and my father are both with me, cowering in fear of my mother. Because, up here, she couldn't hit us. She could barely seem to climb up the stairs either without our help. To be honest, the thought of my mother climbing up the stairs all on her own seemed like an amusing sight. I know, I was cruel for laughing at my mother's situation of discomfort, but it couldn't be helped.

"So..." Itachi started to say, breaking the silence in the room. "When do you think Mother will calm down?"

As if right on cue, she let out an agonized groan of discomfort and clear irritation. My father and I looked at one another.

"Soon... I hope." My old man responds. "For the time being, I think it's best if we just stay up here. Just until she falls asleep... or something..." Truly, the face my father held up was one that was infused with fear. Fear of his pregnant wife. I could only imagine the horror he had gone through when she was pregnant with Itachi and I. I wondered whether the pregnancies with us made it easier on my father than it did now in her current pregnancy. Maybe it was worse. But I didn't dare ask.

I refocused on my homework and the silence in my room - and downstairs with my mother as well - returned. The quiet rustling of turning pages on both my brother and father's part and the scratch of my pencil against paper were the only two things heard in my small room. I'd hadn't been alone with my brother or father in a long time. It felt strange... I never noticed how alike we all were.

It felt as though neither of us felt the need to fill these uncomfortable silences with awkward chitchat about our lives, or concerning that of my personal life, since, technically, it was still a strange thing around this household for me to have boyfriends nowadays. Even if my family never said any of this aloud, I knew they were thinking it. Hell, even I, myself, thought it was rare to have a boyfriend. I honestly thought I'd end up like a forever alone guy, or a crazy cat man, or something. Especially with my low self-esteem.

Now, really, you'd think that getting a couple of boyfriends, or losing so much weight would probably cure me entirely of the dangerously low confidence I withheld over myself and everything, right?

Wrong.

In fact, everything about me felt the same. Sure, I didn't look EXACTLY the same, but everything I thought about myself, or what I felt what everyone else was thinking of me was all still there. Regrettably. I mean, I lost most of the weight - though I wasn't sporting abs; I still had a hint of a muffintop, for Christ's sake - but that didn't mean I was a work of perfection. My rolls of fat were gone, yet I still had a bit of chub left that I had to work on.

Even though I looked different on the outside, I was still the same Sasuke I was many months ago. A paranoic, over-emotional mess of a mistake. Despite that no one saw it.

Although, there was a bright side to all of this - I was a happier guy. But, tell me - how many people in the world can actually say that and be entirely truthful about it? Not very many, I'm sure. I mean, I could honestly say that, sure, these past few months were tiresome and all, with the hard work I was doing. Pushing myself to the limit to reach a healthier weight, pushing myself to apply for a job - even though Pein was mostly pushing me on that one - pushing myself to get better grades at school; despite all that, I was still happy.

I couldn't exactly say I had everything, that I had the perfect life and such, but, sometimes, I'd like to believe it sure felt like it. There wasn't -

"Sasuke, sweetheart? Could you come down here and keep me company?"

There wasn't a god. Okay, I take it all back - I don't believe my life is perfect. It's crap, it's hell, it's my death.

I look to my father and brother for words of wisdom, or some farewell biddings, but they're as frozen as I am. They're wondering it is with my mother to suddenly desire for the need of company. And from me? Why couldn't she ask for my brother instead?

Reluctantly, I climb off from my bed and out of my room, go down the stairs very quietly - as to not disturb my mother's heightened senses, of course; wouldn't want to alarm her and her sensitive self - and approach the back of the couch in which my mother was sitting on. She was watching television. A talk show. She had the volume down really low. Hesitantly, I walked around the couch, and took a seat beside her. Well, more than a few inches away.

Immediately, just as I saw down, she turned to me, smiling. To be honest, I was afraid. I hadn't seen her smiling for a few months now. Smiles on her part were pretty rare amongst these days in her third trimester. So I've been told by my father once. I muster up a small smile.

"Hi, honey. How are you? What were you doing upstairs?" She sounded desperate. Desperate for human contact, I bet, since we'd abandoned her. Human contact that we were keeping her from, on my part, Itachi's part, and my father's part. Oh, man. Now I felt horrible.

"I was, um... I was doing homework." I reply quietly. And I'm about to apologize for our family's insentivity in abandoning her, but...

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. You weren't finished, were you? I apologize. Go on back upstairs and finish up." And here comes the guilt. How was it possible that mothers could so easily appeal to us with that emotion?

Damn it.

"I'm actually finished. I finished a while ago. I was just reviewing." I say. I'm lying. So totally lying. I had more than half of my homework left. But I wasn't going to abandon her again. She wanted to talk. She needed my company. Any company, I'm sure. I inch closer to her, smiling now. "What is it? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

My mother chuckles, waving away my questions.

"No, I don't need anything. I just feel like talking to you. I feel as though both you and I haven't been communicating all that much ever since this baby came into the picture..." She rests her palms over her belly, rubbing soothingly, then rests one of her hands on my own gently. "So, tell me. How's it going with that boy you're dating, hmm? How long have the two of you been going out? What was his name again...?"

That's all she wanted to talk about? Me and Pein? I would have very much desired that she hit me. Why? Of all the things she could talk to me about, why would she choose that of my personal life? I understood her lack of communication with me and how out of touch she felt with not knowing the details of my life. But did that mean she needed to know how things were going with Pein? Of EVERY little thing?

"Pein, Mom. His name is Pein. Uhm... things are good. And we've been together for about a... about a month." Good. Yeah, they were good. Especially if he was adding his daughter into the mix of our relationship as well. I wasn't going to tell my mother that, though.

"Well, that's wonderful." She murmurs. Then she gets a look in her eyes. Oh, no. Here came THOSE questions. Shoot. And I couldn't leave. "What about kissing? Have you two kissed?"

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks and all over my face. I start sweating and swallow, hard. I was starting to think that she didn't just need company, or want to talk. She wanted to talk ABOUT me, about MY life.

I start to stutter and my mother starts to chuckle at how easily flustered I could get with such a question. I wondered why. It WAS just a question. But maybe it was because I didn't like to talk much about myself or personal matters of my life - all of that was private.

"What about sex?"

Oh. My. God.

"N-NO! We're... w-we haven't... We're y-young!" I stammer. My heart is practically bursting out of my chest. My face feels like it's about to burn off. And I feel like a cold, clammy, sweaty, slippery eel. I'd never been so embarrassed in my life ever before. Especially with my mother. How embarrassing. I want to crawl in a hole and die.

"Hey, honey, it's all right if you've done it. You're of age. You're responsible. And a month is good enough to start exploring each other. That was the time your father and I ever -"

"O-KAY! That's enough out of you, Mikoto!" My father screeched from atop the stairs. Quickly, he climbed down and took my mother by the arm, chuckling nervously. "Let's go get you some food. You must be STARVING."

"Well... I suppose I am. It has been over an hour since I last ate."

And, just like that, my mother was dragged away by my apologetic red-faced father into the kitchen, her haven. And I? I remained here on the couch, frozen. My face was still burning, my heart was still racing, and, regrettably enough, I was still sweating. Honestly, never in my life before had I ever been asked those questions. Not even by my own mother. She was usually so sweet and kind and quiet - yet this pregnancy changed her drastically.

Who the heck was she? To suddenly ask questions like that... who would do that? I understand that she was still my mother and all, though, what kind of mother would outright ask about her son's sexual activities? Whether he'd done them or not?

Which, of course, I haven't (in case you were wondering). I'd thought about doing it a couple of times with Pein, though only in dreams, never in reality. Vaguely, I'd wondered if he thought about it, too. But now is not the time for that!

Jesus, why must I let myself get distracted so easily?

A knock resulted at the door. My head perked up to the sound. Something to distract me. Good. I walk over to the door, opening it, and am surprised to find Pein in the strangest of getups. He grins madly at me, arms extending as he presents his costume. He's dressed up as a cereal box, sure, but it seems like he's much too happy for it to JUST be a cereal box costume to him. I raise my eyebrows at him, then start giggling.

"What are you WEARING?" I ask him through the giggles.

Then he holds up a spoon, as though that's supposed to clear up any other questions I may have for him. Which doesn't exactly help. I stare at him with eyebrows still raised. I shake my head and shrug in confusion.

"Oh, come on, Sasuke! Really? I'm a cereal killer. Hence -" He holds up the spoon yet again. "- The spoon. Get it? I'm a cereal killer!" I now burst out laughing, shaking my head at his sheer idiocy, yet adorable immaturity. A cereal killer. Honestly. I should have known. "It's brilliant, isn't it? Took me a while to find this costume, but it was TOTALLY worth it!"

"Uh-huh. Help me out here, though... why are you wearing that?" I tell him, leaning against the door frame.

Pein suddenly looks at me as though I'd just grown two heads.

"You're kidding, right?" I shake my head, confused. He groans, stepping in my house. I follow his gaze. "Gaara's Halloween party? Today? That's been going down since, like..." He looks down at his watch. "Well, now. Honestly, Sasuke, babe, how could you forget? You told me yesterday to come pick you up at around this time."

"It slipped my mind, I'm sorry." Oh, man. How could I have forgotten so easily? I'd told myself over and over not to forget, to not forget the party was today. Or to not forget to pick up my costume at the store... I smacked my forehead. "Damn it! My costume! I was supposed to go by the store to pick it up today, but, again, it slipped my mind... Jesus. What is WRONG with me today?"

Pein waved away my worry.

"Nothing's wrong with you. I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind today. We'll just go by the store to pick it up?"

"You can't. It's closed." I sigh dejectedly.

"What, really?! Geez, it's early, though..." He looks down at his watch again.

"It's Halloween." I mutter.

He sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair frustratingly. Then an idea clicks in his mind.

"Don't you have any old costumes in your closet?" He asks, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, yeah, but they don't exactly fit me anymore. I used to be fat, remember?"

And then the idea fades quickly from his mind. He scowls. Then another idea pops in his mind. His grin returns. This one is absurd, I can tell.

"Would your parents mind if we just took some of their bedsheets and cut two holes in them? So you can be a ghost! Cliche, I know, but a rather classic choice of attire, if you ask me." His grin remains as I stare at him, head tilting to the side. I pat his cheek gently and kiss him.

"Oh, sweetie. There's no chance in hell that my parents would ever allow that. Besides, Gaara did say I didn't HAVE to wear a costume. So, it's okay." I tell him once I pull away from the kiss, smiling. "Now, let's go." I call out to my parents that I was leaving for Gaara's party. Luckily, I had told them yesterday I was going, so there wasn't much arguing against it. They called out their goodbyes.

I start to head out the door, and Pein follows closely behind, shutting the door behind him.

"It was just a thought, babe... Just trying to help... We could have used old sheets, too, you know?" He's telling me. And I laugh.

"I know you were trying to help. But cutting holes in sheets? Didn't your mother ever teach you never to do that?" I tap at his chin with my index finger as we approach his car, on the passenger side.

"I don't know. I never listened to her." He chuckles as he opens the door for me.

I slide inside the car, but not before dragging him down into the passenger side with me for a kiss once more. It's a bit difficult to do so, what with cereal-box in my way, but I manage quite easily.

However, I have no idea why I'm feeling so kissy-face today. Or why I'm suddenly feeling so confident. It couldn't possibly be because of his ridiculously, absurd costume - although, maybe it was; I had developed a few strange adorations of many things because of this weirdo I was dating - and, surely, it couldn't have been because of that stupid little grin on his face. Although, it is very cute...

I pull away slowly, licking his lips as though I'm the master of seduction against my boyfriend, when, clearly, we both know I'm not. I'm a blundering, clumsy, adorable mess, as Pein 'affectionately' describes. Hot and enticing master of seduction was definitely NOT something I could pull off. Or so I would think.

He has the strangest of looks on his face. All blushy and stuff. I imagine it's what I look like when he randomly kisses me. Oh, God. The horror.

"What... was that?" He murmurs nervously, shifting his feet to steady his awkward posture hovering over me.

I shrug as a smug smile creeps over my lips. So cavalier. What was WITH me today? Honestly.

"Just felt like it." I simply tell him. "What else can I say?"

And he laughs. Quietly. Not like his usual boisterous laugh, but equally as satisfying to hear it at such a low volume. Very manly-like. It sends chills up my spine. In a good way. That's weird. Usually, Pein's laugh doesn't affect me like this. And that look he's giving me now as he's crossing over to his side - it's enough to make me want to scream. Sure, what with the cereal box costume, it's kind of hard to take THAT kind of thought seriously. Although, he sure pulls it off pretty good...

...Oh.

_'What about sex?'_

...This was all my mother's fault. Subconsciously, she got me into thinking about having thoughts of sex with Pein! Sweet baby Jesus... Was that why I was acting like this? Because, deep down, I would LOVE for something to go down between me and Pein?

No... I was probably just acting this way because I was comfortable with him. TOO comfortable. It was probably just the costume that was making me feel this way. Strange? I know. Keep in mind, though - there have been weirder things. We have the internet. But it can't be about the costume.

I look over at Pein countless times as he's driving down the road. He's trying to figure out the directions to Gaara's house with much difficulty, mumbling to himself - and occassionally to me, as if I could be of some worthy help, which I'm not - and I try to figure out the source of the way I'm feeling right now.

Maybe it was the freedom my parents were giving me so easily now. I mean, I hadn't had that in a while. I'm lying. I totally have. But it was as if they were granting me more freedom. Without arguments. An effect as that one could easily give me the confidence boost I desire to do something wild with Pein. Especially if my mother gave me a sort of indirect 'go' on having... you know... with him.

I shudder at the remembrance of my mother uttering those very words, which consisted of her and my father. Not something you want to hear in your life. Ever.

"No way..." Pein murmurs as he's parking the car. He's looking down at his phone - to what I'm assuming are directions - and back outside to where he's currently parked.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He starts to shake his head, then he starts laughing, shutting his phone off. He turns to look back outside. He points. I turn slowly. I don't want to be met with some guy pressing his junk against the glass... but perhaps I've seen way too many movies to believe something like that could ever happen to me. Or anyone else, I hope.

"THAT'S Gaara's house."

And my jaw drops. Because Gaara's house isn't a house. It's a fucking mansion. Complete with butlers and valets and giant, shiny gates in the front of this monster. I'm sure there must be about a hundred rooms in there. Maybe not. Maybe it's just a spacious house. Mansion, I correct myself. Wow. I mean, I thought I knew Gaara was loaded, with the way he just spent his money when he was hanging out with me and Hinata that one time, but I never knew he was 'Bruce Wayne' loaded. Of course, Gaara still had his parents, I'm sure. Maybe. Oh, man, I knew nothing about this guy, except that he was rich - and he called me his 'FRIEND'!

"Oh, man, am I gonna feel like a poor man, standing next to the kid." Pein mutters as he shuts off the engine. I turn back to look at him. He grabs his spoon and tries to muster up a big smile, but it fails, the more he looks at the mansion standing behind my head. He looks at his spoon, then at his costume. He groans. "Damn it, this costume makes me feel like even MORE of a poor man!"

I laugh, shaking my head.

"I disagree. I think you look absolutely adorable. See, most poor men can't pull this look off, but you, sir - you, knock it out of the park and beyond. That shit, I like that. Even if you look totally ridiculous." I say to him, and he smiles. Amused. He touches my nose with his spoon, muttering a soft 'boop'. I laugh, pulling away. "Come on. Let's go inside. Let's see just how many people get your 'cereal killer' bit."

"Hey, people WILL get it." He reprimands as he gets out of the car. He crosses over to my side, immediately taking my hand. A secret smile plays on my lips, and I blush as I listen to his rant. "Do you know how many people live amongst the internet? TONS. And, sure enough, one of those TONS of people is bound to get my joke. Might have come across a picture like it, or something."

"I'm pretty sure that one of those TONS of probably won't even remember the picture. You're just going to have to explain it to them, like you had to with me." I snicker.

He looks over at me and sticks out his tongue. I laugh and poke at it and he bites at my finger, catching it between his teeth. Gently, of course - he's not an animal. Although, he is pretty persistent in keeping my finger. It must seem strange for other incoming party-goers, but not for my boyfriend, apparently.

We walk while my finger is still in his mouth. I try to pull away, but he starts licking. I look over at him. His eyes are amused, and he's laughing. And I'm blushing, as usual. People are looking. They're always looking. It never bothers Pein. He sends a friendly wave their way, the one that's holding his spoon. I smack his hand down with my free hand. He finally lets go, muttering a soft 'ow' while chuckling.

As we're approaching the mansion, however, he seems to sober up at the sheer monstrosity of it. He's like a child. Once we're inside, he just wants to take off to explore everywhere. I have to pull him back a few times, so I could keep him in place. At least until I could spot Gaara, which I knew wasn't going to be easy at all.

There must have been about a hundred people crowding in the entrance hall alone, dancing and sweating and grinding to the music. Where was it COMING from, anyway? Wherever I walked - dragging Pein along with me, of course were he to escape from me - there seemed to be a sea of people. Some were as young as high school freshmen and some were as old as out of college graduates. Some older. But they all each had the energy of elementary school children. Even with the costumes the many of them were wearing. By the looks of it, some had been torn to pieces, judging by the scraps of fabric and feathers decorating the confetti-glitterfied floor.

I know I was probably just wasting my time in looking for Gaara amongst the endless and endless seas of people, but I didn't really know anyone here that I could stick with. Other than Pein, I mean - I knew he wasn't going to stick with me for much longer, with the way he was acting right now. I doubt I would ever come across someone I'd recognize with this many people pushing up against one another, tonguing ach other as if their lives depended on it. If you ask me, they all look like fishes, clamping onto each other's lips like that. Gross.

"Do you see Gaara anywhere, Pein?" I try to ask in Pein's ear, but it's kind of hard to do so, what with the pounding music growing louder and louder.

People are bumping into me left and right, crowding closer and closer. It's starting to get hot. Claustraphobia seems to be kicking into full effect now. I yank Pein's hand towards me, so I don't lose him, and he pulls me from the crowd. Really, what is it with people in consuming others like that? Scariest way to die, over anything else.

Pein leads me away from the entrance hall and into what seems like the living room - with a much calmer ambience, despite the music was still playing. Loudly. Some people were sitting and talking, others were playing beer pong, from the looks of it, and others were awkwardly mingling, toying with the loose strings of their costumes, like they didn't belong. I felt as though that would have been me were I not with Pein. I was like that once. I had an urge to speak with them, just so they'd have someone to talk to.

"Sasuke, hey! You guys made it!" Gaara's voice brings me back. I turn. He's walking toward us, grinning. And it looks like he's gone all out for his costume. His hair is mussed up, freckles are decorated across the bridge of his nose and cheeks, and he's wearing a red, pink, blue and green striped long sleeved shirt with overalls. And he's holding a plastic knife, decorated with fake blood.

"Hey, 'serial killer' -" Pein says, pointing to Gaara, then to himself, with his spoon. "'Cereal killer'!"

They both laugh. I raise my eyebrows at the both of them, shaking my head, laughing.

"Well, hey, I'm glad you two came, and I really wish I could stay, but I have to mingle." Gaara tells us, then jabs his plastic knife behind him. "And I have to keep an eye on the food. You know, make sure we don't run out." He looks around. "I don't really know what you guys would like to do... We've got beer pong table game going on over there, apparently. We have a pool outside. Probably should have mentioned that you guys could bring swimming trunks. Although, I don't think -"

"Later!" Pein calls out to us. He's heading outside to the pool, I bet. I stare after him confusingly. When the hell had he gotten away from me so quickly?

"You don't even have a swimsuit!" I call back.

"I can manage!" And then he's taking off his costume before he's even outside. I avert my eyes at the confident stripping he's got going on happily for the rest of the party. I'm so sure he's not even wearing underwear under that costume. I hear giggles and whistles. I blush. Yep, he's naked. "Bye, babe!" Damn it, Pein. Don't put the attention on me.

I didn't even think my own boyfriend was an exhibitionist. And now everyone would know me as that naked guy's boyfriend. Well, I mean, I think everyone already knew me by my own name, but I guess not anymore, not after that little striptease show that he has graciously provided everyone with.

Damn it, Pein.

"...Or perhaps I should stay with you." Gaara chuckles. I shake my head, laughing quietly at the whole strange hilarity of my boyfriend's behavior. While blushing, as usual.

"I'm so sorry about that." I say, and head over to where his costume - and ahem, boxers - are and pick them up. Gaara follows closely behind. "I should probably keep these safe."

"I'll take those." And he takes them from my arms and then heads off into a small little room with a washer and dryer. The music from the party seems to cut off completely as we enter this small, cramped room. He sets the costume and boxers on top of the washer and into a little basket. "We'll keep them there for now. I'll remind Pein where they are, when you guys are ready to leave, or whenever he's ready to get out of the pool."

I nod and we head back out into the party.

The music has changed its sound. Instead of hard rock playing, alternative music takes its place. People move and dance at a much more gentle pace, rather than the unruly way as they were doing so moments ago. Couples held onto their loved ones happily as they rocked gently to the soft beat of the music. Some single guy was even brave enough to tear himself away from his little groups to ask a girl in her own little group to dance.

I didn't know whether a painful or progressive encounter like this would be amongst them, and it felt wrong to be watching. But, once I saw the girl smile, I knew that guy was gold with her. Which kind of gave off that new confidence over to the guys of his little group to approach the girls of her little group. Like a chain effect.

Why didn't I have that sort of luck when I was fat? Yes, believe it or not, I asked girls to dance with me before. Mostly because I knew two guys weren't allowed to dance together. That it would give off the wrong idea. I respected that 'rule', if one could call it that. I never actually thought I'd have much luck with guys anyway. Much less with girls, either. But, of course, I wanted to do it the normal way. To dance with a girl.

I asked many. None of them even gave me a second look. Most were polite enough to decline and do just that. Others... not so much. Many girls would go on a rant about how they could never see themselves dancing with a fat tub of lard like me. That I was a loser and nobody would ever like me.

Middle school, huh? Yeah, good times were had all around. How nice it is that high school is far more different than that.

Anyway, all sarcasm aside, as luck would have it, the only one who WOULD dance with me the whole night was Sakura, my best friend. I was happy for the rest of the night with just that. Although, it would have been nice to have been accepted so easily like that guy was.

I am happy with the way my life turned out either way, though. Even if I have a boyfriend whose wild persona doesn't exactly fit with me.

"Hey, Sasuke, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but are you going to be okay by yourself? I have to check up on things." Gaara's voice breaks through my thoughts and I stare at him for a moment before remembering where I am.

"No, yeah, it's fine. It's your party." I tell him.

"All right, well, uhm... I don't know where anyone you know is, but I'm sure they're around. Somewhere." He starts to walk away. "Hopefully, this party isn't too boring for you. If it is, there's a gameroom upstairs, so... knock yourself out." He laughs. I smile.

"Thanks." Then he's off.

And I'm alone. I feel as if people are looking at me. Probably laughing at me being alone. Probably thinking I was abandoned. I've haven't felt so self-conscious about myself in a while now. I thought that was an issue only when I was fat. Guess not.

But I have to look like I'm having a good time, so I won't believe that they're all thinking that. I grab a non-alcoholic drink from the cooler that's practically overflowing with unopened beer cans. I try not to look directly at people as I'm snaking my way through crowds, I try not to touch anyone, and I try to keep calm. I can deal with being alone, right? Probably not. I haven't exactly been dealing with anything on my own for a while now. Here I thought I was becoming independent.

I walk upstairs slowly. I walk by couples that are intertwined, inseparable, I walk by drunks, I walk by people who are as alone as I am. But none are people I recognize. I walk farther down the hallway - less and less people seem to be going down this way. The sound of music fades distinctly. I take a sip of my drink as it is getting quite unnerving to be going down this way by myself without granted permission. The only place I was actually allowed to go was the gameroom - it was probably the first door I passed, what with the shouts of obscene words and loud gun shooting - and no farther beyond that, I'm sure Gaara meant between those words.

I was curious, however. I'd never been in a mansion before. I felt like Pein. Like a giddy child. Like I should explore every crack and crevice this mansion had to offer. Maybe I'd find a secret room, or a secret garden. I walk until I'm faced with whether deciding to go left or right in my lone adventure. I hum a soft rendition of 'eenie-meenie-minie-moe' and my decision is made for me. I go right.

Everything over on this side seems much more quieter. I can't hear much of the party anymore. It feels haunting. My heart is racing. I should've just gone left. Yes, I'm scared, I'll admit it. I turn to go back.

A startled scream immediately erupts from my throat and my heart is leaping out of my chest. My drink drops to the ground with a thud.

"Shit. Sasuke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Naruto is standing before me. I didn't expect anyone to be around here. Much less, Naruto. He's obviously trying to hide his amusement at my less-than-manly scream of girlish fear.

"You asshole!" I growl at him, punching him in his arm. Hard. He winces in pain, grabbing at the spot I'm sure I caused a bruise. Although, even pain like that doesn't quite wipe the amused smile from his face. "What the hell is your problem scaring me like that?"

"Hey, you were the one lurking around without permission." He replies. "What WERE you even doing back here, anyway? There's nothing of interest, last I checked."

I don't dare look at him. Childish hopes of mine were bound to be laughed at. Instead, I kneel and busy myself with the drink I spilled. I lift the can, liquid dripping. I glare at the darkening spot of liquid on the bright red carpet. I'm sure if I pressed my face against that bright red carpet, I would blend in, and I wouldn't have to deal with this embarrassing situation. Ah, if only.

"Can you help me clean this up?" I ask softly, still refusing to look at him.

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Hold on. Let me go get some paper towels." He says, and takes the dripping can from my grip. He disappears behind the corner.

I remain on my knees, and continue to glare at the dark spot beginning to stain on the once beautiful carpet. What was Naruto even doing here? Wasn't this Gaara's party? I was fairly certain they didn't know each other. Naruto was WAY older than him. But, wait a minute... Gaara DID say that his brother and sister were the ones who arranged it. Naruto probably knew them.

That probably made much more sense.

Naruto reappears once more, paper towels in hand. He rips off a few and hands them to me. I press them against the wet carpet. He tears off a few as well and presses them against the wet carpet as I had done. Not in the same spot I had my hands on, of course. The stain was spreading, growing.

For a couple of minutes, we pressed paper towels against the stain in silence. Distinctly, I could hear the music. At least, the bass. And people cheering and laughing. Strange. I hadn't heard anything when I was walking down here by myself. I guess the awkward silence between us kind of heightens many sounds.

Awkward, you ask? Yes, awkward. Mostly because of our conversation and his unanswered question at his birthday party. While I was still there at the party, I refrained from talking with him, at all costs. Just for the remainder of the night. Mostly for Pein's sake. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea of Naruto and I. He still didn't know our history and I wasn't planning on telling him anything about it soon. Unless, of course, he asked me about it.

Eventually, the paper towels sucked in most of the liquid, so the spot had lessened its dark color. The spot was still damp, though. I grab the wet paper towels and stand up.

"Uh, where can I throw these?"

Naruto stands up, wet paper towels in his hand, too. He takes them from me.

"I'll throw them."

He disappears behind the corner again. This time, I follow him to the bathroom. Which is immediately on the right side as we turn the corner. And, as I'm following him, I notice that he's wearing a costume. He's wearing a fancy blue overcoat with frilly fringes all around the edges. You know, the kind of clothes people back then wore in the eighteen hundreds. Except for the shoes. Converse. I shake my head, silently laughing in my head at his choice of shoe attire. Of course, Naruto, of course.

Naruto turns at my quiet huff of laughter. He crosses his arms and leans against the door frame of the bathroom.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

I shake my head and look up at him. For the first time of the night, it seems. There's humor dancing around his eyes. My heart skips a beat. I ignore it - for now - and point at his shoes.

"Still haven't learned anything about proper shoe attire, have you? Not even when in costume." I tease.

He clicks his teeth at me, shuffling his feet.

"That doesn't matter when you're in costume."

"It does if you want it to be believable. Seriously. Eighteenth-century people did NOT wear Converse back then."

"Well, I'm sure if they were to live in this day and age, they'd be adjusting to new and comfortable changes of shoe attire. So, ha." He adjusts his frill. I snicker. "And, by the way, I didn't dress up as someone from the eighteenth century, believe it or not. I dressed up as the very cliched Prince Charming. Blond hair, blue eyes, handsome, and, of course, charming - typical description for a prince, so I decided I could dress up like him. Since I fit the description so well."

I roll my eyes and snort, "Yeah, okay." Although, of course, I knew that he did fit the description quite well. Too well. I disagreed very much with my snort. Naruto knew that, I'm sure. Though, for our sake, he chose not to pick up on that. And then there was that awkward silence between us again.

"So, Kankuro and Temari invited you, huh?" He leans away from the door frame, opting to sit down against the wall instead. I join him, sitting a few couple of centimeters away. I don't trust myself altogether to be alone with him like this.

"What? No. Gaara invited me." I reply, confused. "Why would Temari and Kankuro... Ohhhh." No wonder Naruto was here. And why I was here. And why a bunch of older than old people were here too. And why they had beer pong. But, of course, that could also be a part of high school behavior, so it's half-and-half on both parties. "I didn't even know Gaara had any other siblings." That's because you don't even talk to him, you idiot, my conscience argued.

"Yeah, I didn't know Temari and Kankuro had a kid brother, either. Small world, isn't it? That both you and I know him." He chuckles. I nod meekly, but I'm hardly listening.

Mind you, none of this felt right to me. Being alone with Naruto. It never felt right. Because mixed feelings are starting to resurface. They always do. Not when I'm with Pein, though - NEVER. I vowed myself that when I was with him, I wouldn't think about Naruto at all. But, right now, it was hard, since I was excruciatingly near him. And I was nowehere near Pein.

It felt wrong. This whole exchange of words between us. The awkward silences felt wrong, too. Like they meant tension. Like, TENSION, tension, if you know what I mean. But maybe that was just me. I probably was the only one lost in the moment that Naruto and I had created months ago at Sakura's graduation party. Except, this time, it was different. I was different. Yet I was the same. Naruto was the same. Still his charming, handsome, amazing, beautiful self.

That was scary. I didn't want to get tangled up in that mess again. I have a boyfriend, I had to keep reminding myself. I had to remind myself that he was here at the party, having a ball. And I was upstairs with my ex. Which throws off the balancing forces of nature and everything in between.

I stand up.

"I have to go." I tell him, and I really am about to go. Probably to join Pein in his skinny dipping, just to get away from this whole situation. Yet... Naruto grabs at my wrist. It seems I can't escape this quite easily.

He keeps me in place. Right where I am. He stands up.

"We need to talk." He tells me. I know. But I know just what it was he was going to bring up. It wasn't rocket science. I want to pull away.

"No. We don't need -" I start to say.

"Yes, we do. You know we do." He says it so calmly, although his voice is stern. So serious. I look at him. Those eyes - they burn into my very soul. I can't face him. "What we both still feel for each other isn't a secret. You know something like this just isn't going to blow over overnight. So, it's better if you give me an answer now, whether you want me to be in your life or not. Whether I should give up on you and move on to someone else, or whether I should stay until you see that I'm the one you really want. That I'm the one..."

He releases my wrist. His fingers touch mine for the briefest of moments. I stare down at the red carpet. My heart is jumping out of my chest again. We're too close. People could be watching our exchange. We were at the end of the hallway, sure, probably far enough that they won't be able to see our faces. But it made me feel uneasy, either way.

"Naruto, stop." I murmur.

He presses against me closely and his lips press against the top of my head, against my hair. His fingers reach out to brush against my own once more. I can't move. I'm torn between so many emotions.

"...Do you really want me to?" He whispers softly.

That question. Who knew that such a simple question as that one could cause so much trouble for my heart? I knew I couldn't go through with this anymore. I had Pein. I didn't need anyone else, right? I couldn't have my cake and eat it, too. That was wrong. Both for Naruto and I. He needed his freedom and I kept him against his will. Chained to me. Like a caged bird.

That wasn't fair, was it?

But I can't do it. I can't let him go...

I bring my arms around to embrace him tightly. Like a child. He does the same, just as tight. I bury my face against his neck and I inhale his scent foolishly. The familiarity of it sends my mind reeling.

And, just like that, like an awakened memory, my lips find his hungrily. It's a familiar feeling, kissing him, but, as it's probably been about three months since we were this close, there's a different style in the way he's kissing now. So it's not all too familiar.

Although, his tongue is. My, when did THAT get in there?

My hands clutch at his hair and I yank roughly. He growls. A surprised groan tumbles from my lips. I don't think I've ever heard him make a sound like that before. He grasps at my hips, yanking me forward, away from the hallway, to around the corner, away from crowd's viewing pleasures. He presses me against the wall, grinning. My heartbeat is all over the place with the sudden turn of events that has taken place now.

For all I knew, this could lead to something fairly dangerous. I didn't know if I was ready for that. But Naruto's lips are replaced yet again over mine, and the thought is gone. My eyes close and I revel in this feeling of euphoria. I focus on breathing. Heavily, for now.

Naruto lifts me. I let out a soft moan at the feeling of fabric against fabric. He chuckles as I redden. For a moment, we stare at each other - we'd only ever been close to doing something like this once. And that was at Sakura's party, when I was fat. And, back then, we were interrupted. I vaguely wondered whether it would happen this time.

"Deja vu..." He says softly, and brushes a strand of hair away from my face. His fingers trace against my jaw gently. I shiver pleasantly at his touch. He smiles. "Even if you look completely different on the outside, your eyes still hold the same place. Just for me."

The way his voice sounds makes me blush. So gentle, so serious... I mean, of course, he was always this way when we were going out. But I'd forgotten just how gentle and serious he actually was. I clutch the back of his neck and reel him in for another kiss. He lets me down gently. He presses his palms flat on the wall, then slides them down to rest them on my hips. Then they slowly snake their way up under my shirt.

Uncontrollable giggles fall from my lips and into our kiss. Naruto doesn't keep his hands away, though he smiles as he continues to kiss me and I swear to myself to keep my giggles to a minimum. Our bodies are growing closer and closer as the heat between us grows. Naruto leads me away from the wall and into the dark room across from us, never once tearing himself from me. For fear that I would disappear. I didn't let him escape from me either, for the same selfish fear.

We're inseparable as we trip into the darkness of the room and onto the edge of the bed. We slip onto the floor instead. I fall on him and we laugh at our fumble. And, just for a couple of seconds, we laugh as we lie on the floor. I'm comfortable like this. I listen to his laughter bubble from his stomach, rumble up his chest and finally erupt from his throat to form a beautiful sound - his erratic heartbeat is also a huge plus.

I search in the darkness for his face. His hands guide me easily. It takes moments before our eyes can adjust to the darkness properly, and, as soon as our eyes refocus, our eyes meet. We can barely make out each other's faces all too clearly, but we manage to find one another.

I remove myself from on top of him, keeping my fingers in touch with his as I now resume my place beside him. Passion ensues shortly and our lips meet in embrace. I can hardly restrain myself at his tender ways. As much as I would hate to admit it aloud to him, sometimes I didn't like things to be so vanilla. That included this innocent kissing. I opt for a more direct approach instead. It's a daring, dangerous move, but how is life worth living if one isn't willing to run the risk?

My hands fumble around blindly around his neck, on his collar searching. I find what I'm looking for in little time. Naruto pulls away from our heated kiss to press feather-light kisses across my jaw and everywhere else that hadn't been touched by his lips. He was very thorough with his art.

My heart thumps.

I want to believe that I've done this sort of thing a hundred times over and over again, and I want to believe that it's easy to do. I want to believe that none of this was a big deal. I also want to believe that this guy, Naruto, wasn't a reality - that all of this was probably just one huge dream. A desire.

But I know it isn't. It's reality. And it's scary to face. Especially with the decision I was about to make. I started to ask myself all these questions.

Was it a stupid thing to do? Or was it the best thing that would ever happen to me? Would I regret any of this later in life? Would Naruto still want me the same once this happened? Would everything change?

...Trust me to get myself lost in my own thoughts. And in the middle of something like this, too, huh? I want to shake off this feeling I'm getting in the pit of my stomach. Really. I want to blame all this on the alcohol that I never drank. But, of course, this was all my doing. While sober. Big step for loose Sasuke, huh? I vaguely wondered whether that would be the new nickname everyone would know me as. That wasn't something I wanted to go by for the remainder of my senior year.

However, I believe I didn't mind the thought of it quite so much anymore once Naruto's lips overtake mine once more; an effective distraction against me. How does he DO that? Honestly. He hovers over me, one leg on one side, and the other in between my legs.

It's a strange thing, to have his leg between... well, there. That was a sacred place. Nobody, but myself, had ever treaded near there. My legs sought to lock up, yet an action like that wasn't possible, what with Naruto being there and all. I shifted around awkwardly, hands still resting against his collar, torn between this new emotion in the, uh... crotch area... and the working gears in my brain try to coordinate directions to my lingering fingers.

Hands rest over mine suddenly.

"Would you like me to help you?" A soft murmur whispers.

I shake my head defiantly and make some sort of strangled negating response to his gentle offer. His hands withdrew, and both palms padded softly on the carpet, right beside my head. He made no sudden movement, for the moment. For my sake.

I would not let him help me do this. I wanted to be able to do this on my own. I just needed a little bit of time to adjust to this new state of being. My heart was racing. Madly. It only made it that much harder to go through with this simple task.

But...

I take in a deep, shaky breath and start to unbutton his frilly costume coat with shaky hands. I can feel Naruto's eyes on me, even if I can't quite find his own. I want to puke. This anxiety was nauseating. Interestingly enough, however, even with how shaky and how painfully slow I was in unbuttoning the wretched clasps, the task was easy. I slip the coat off. Naruto helps shake it off. Only a little.

I let him.

It falls behind him. He kicks it away.

He's wearing an undershirt, though this is one I don't have to focus much on taking off. I sit up and slide it off easily, pulling it over his head. He helps me with that one, too. Bare, taut skin makes contact with my fingertips. His muscles are very defined, very hard. Very smooth. Felt like I was touching perfection in Naruto's embodiment. And he's warm, too. Which makes this moment all the more scary and real, of just exactly how close I was to losing my mind.

There's a small tug at my shirt, pulling, and distractions of incoherent mumbles flood at the simple touch of his lips against mine once more. One of his hands slide up my stomach and slides over and under my back, pressing me flush against him. Against... THAT.

Anxiety escalates. Heart beats vivaciously. Sweat gathers - it seems - everywhere. I start to feel self-conscious about my body. Like I did when I was fat. Memories of the past flood my mind, of this same situation, in this same position... with the same person...

Gentle whispers about me - provided solely for me, and myself, alone - caress against my ear.

And the familiarity is known - recognized. I was being stupid. I was becoming someone I didn't want to be. Someone I never was. I was being selfish. A selfish whore. I knew this wasn't a good idea, but I had commited the crime. A perfect sin. I was unworthy of being with Naruto. Or with Pein.

If I continued to do this with Naruto, what would become of Pein? Would he ever know? Would I ever tell? Hell, I didn't even know what I felt anymore. I couldn't believe this. Why wasn't I more decisive about what it was that I exactly wanted? I wanted Naruto, but I also wanted Pein. I wanted them both to be happy.

When I was with Naruto, I was happy. And, when I was with Pein, I was also happy. But I was torn by these two. They were the most perfect boys God could have ever made to walk on this Earth, but I couldn't have them both. I couldn't please them both. I was selfish in my ways of doing this unforgivable sin with Naruto AND while behind Pein's back. And at Gaara's party, too. I did this all because of my selfish self, my selfish needs. What kind of person did that? Fooling around with someone else who wasn't the boyfriend? And with an ex? AND at someone's party? Triple threat.

I was a sickening person. What the hell was wrong with me?

My hands press against his chest and I push him away. He tumbles off from above me and a confusing huff of my name is heard somewhere in the darkness. But I can't hear it all too much with my heart pounding loudly against my ears. I yank the door open and light filters the room. I'm blinded for mere seconds. This time, I hear Naruto calling my name again as I walk out of the room. And fast.

But he's following me. Why couldn't running away be any easier for me? He catches me, just as I'm about to turn around the corner. I bump into someone in the process of doing so. I look up to apologize. But...

"Sasuke..."

Great. Add another witness to the mess that was my personal life. Of course, Sasuke, of course. Why wouldn't there be?

Tayuya stands before me. She's with Suigetsu, her arm linking through with his. She's smiling. Or was, until she noticed Naruto behind me. Her arm loosened. Naruto's grip on my arm did, too. He released me. I sensed he wasn't wearing a shirt, judging by the way she was staring at him, then back at me. I look down at the ground and swallow, feeling her judgmental eyes on me. She was thinking the same hateful thing I was thinking about myself.

What would she tell Pein? Did she hate me now? My God, that was a stupid question. Of course she would hate me now. The tears gather. Fuck. Why? I promised myself I wasn't going to be emotional about stuff like this anymore. I just couldn't help it.

"Sasuke...?" Tayuya calls out to me. She releases herself from Suigetsu. She lifts my chin. I don't want her to see me like this. My shoulders shake and a quiet sob escapes.

Immediately, Suigetsu snaps at the sound of this. And he's on Naruto quick as a flash, yelling obscenities. Fists smack against flesh. A cold trickle of fear and horror rush through my body. A crowd is beginning to gather.

They got the wrong idea, my conscience tells me.

I pull away from Tayuya and try to pull Suigetsu away from Naruto, screaming and telling him it wasn't like that, that he didn't understand. But he wouldn't listen. Tayuya kept trying to pull me back. More people start to gather. I continue my attempt to keep Suigetsu away from Naruto, but it's futile. I'm too weak.

The sad thing was that Naruto wasn't even fighting back. Suigetsu was going in punch after punch after punch and Naruto did nothing but block. That was all. But it did nothing. He was still getting pummeled horribly. I was losing the feeling in my fingers at the sight of the blood.

That's when the crowd starts to panic. Guys slip from the crowd to separate Suigetsu from Naruto. Tayuya pulls me away, finally, with much difficulty on my part. It's twice as difficult to separate Tayuya's boyfriend from my ex. Although, when they finally do, I only wish they hadn't.

Naruto was unrecognizable. His lip was split open and his eyes were practically shut. Bruises. There were bruises already forming. Blood was trickling from his nose and mouth and I don't know where else. I'm sure something was broken. The blood had gotten into his hair. Stained with red. His whole face was red with the crimson liquid.

...And he wasn't moving.

My chest heaves uncontrollably at the sight and I start to sob as people are shouting for help, an ambulance. My eyes search for Suigetsu and I start screaming at him as the guys holding him back are leading him away from the scene, probably to calm him down. But I don't give in that easily. Once I reach him, I punch him across the face, telling him that it wasn't what he thought it was, that he had no right to do what he did, that it was my fault.

It looks like he's about to argue, too, just as guys start to hold me back now - yet I don't hit him again and I rest my head against his shoulder feebly, sobbing, repeating 'it wasn't like that' over and over. Then it dawns on him and he starts to apologize. Over and over. He yells at the others to call the ambulance, the police - whoever.

People from downstairs start to gather upstairs at the sound of the commotion. I go back to Naruto and kneel beside him, unsure, sobbing. I rest my fingers against his wrist. His heart is still going. I let out a choked sob of relief. My fingers slide into his palm as I shake uncontrollably. A gentle squeeze lets me know all is well. I look up into Naruto's face.

A small, grim shadow of a smile meets my gaze.

I sob even harder.

It's all your fault, Sasuke, my conscience tells me, all your selfish fault. Shame on you.

"So selfish..." I agree under shaky, sobbing breaths.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Didn't I tell you to be prepared? Goodness. I know, I know, I've disappointed a lot of you with this crap of a chap. I understand. And I apologize. It's a transition, I promise. Well, more or so.

I feel bad. This turned out gruesome. I had hoped it would be flowers and rainbows and unicorns and shit. Dammit, you all must hate me.

**Review,** if you'd like, please.

- With much, **much** adored love, **KK247** -


	20. My Long Overdue Decision

**A/N: **Yeah, I'm sorry. Again, for, like, the hundredth time. Lol. I was actually working on this chapter this whole time, but I never really got it up. All lazy. :P Haha. Such is the life of a procrastinator. :D Anyway, I ask for forgiveness beforehand as well; this isn't one of my best chapters. Ugh. The feels, man - they are hurting. Sorry. :/

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>It took a while for the ambulance to come by and pick Naruto up. It took even longer to calm me down, though. Especially when Pein reached me amongst the crowds. He tried reassuring me that everything would be fine, that Naruto would be fine, and that I would be fine. Of course, that wasn't true, not when I was the one who single-handedly caused all of this to go down.<p>

They had Naruto on a stretcher. He looked so helpless, not at all like he had flashed me a bloody, broken smile moments before. I'd never seen him look as badly as that...

I sought to be near him. Other people had the same idea, too. I pushed through throngs of people, but, it seemed, with my lack of pace amongst the many people to be in the same place and all at the same time - just to follow one stretcher - I wouldn't get there very quickly. Pein caught up with me as the people climbed down the stairs carefully. He held my hand. It felt wrong.

I slipped it away and blamed it on the crowd as my empty fingers stretched the distance between us.

I never knew just how quickly paramedics could be when in a situation like this. But, of course, it was their job. They had to be. Some people stayed outside to talk and discuss of what had just happened, of what caused it, but it didn't seem like it bothered them all that much. They talked about it like it was normal party gossip.

I watched as the ambulance lights lit up and the paramedics shut the back doors closed with Naruto inside. I wasted no time. I turned to Pein and asked him for the keys. He gave them to me without hesitation, without questions. He followed right behind me as I rushed to his car, never once tearing my eyes away from the ambulance speeding away, farther and farther into the distance. I slipped into the driver's side. He slipped into the passenger side. Silent as he strapped himself in. I did no such thing of the sort. I was more concerned for Naruto's wellbeing in that ambulance.

The drive over to the hospital was a quiet, long one. Pein offered no words of comfort. He suspected the effect of them were rendered useless in a situation like this. I was panicking, he could tell. He refrained from touching me as well. Not that it was an important matter at the moment, but... it would have been nice to have him holding my hand, to keep me sane in my state of mind. Especially if I was on the verge of driving like a maniac, trying to keep up with the stupid ambulance. It didn't help that I kept thinking of Naruto's bloody face, either.

Of the way he smiled at me when I was kneeling beside him. Of the way he squeezed my fingers. Of the way he kissed me and touched me and whispered to me... The memory seemed to play over and over. Tears blurred my vision. I felt the car swerve slightly to the right, almost rear-ending a car. A horn beeped in alarm. Pein shouted at me to keep my eyes on the road. I focused, heart beating fast. I look over at Pein. He was breathing hard. He looks over at me, eyes showing slight panic, then he looked away, quick.

I'd scared him.

"I'm sorry." I choked out, struggling to keep the upcoming sobs to a minimum. I was apologizing for both my lack of attention and for doing something so stupid - both on the road and on this night. I don't know whether or not he had heard the double meaning in those two words, but it made me feel only a bit better about the way I should be feeling of this.

"Maybe I should be driving..." He suggested. Quietly. I'd never heard him speak quite so low. Maybe he was trying to keep his fear at the way I swerved at bay.

"I'm fine. It won't happen again." I say confidently - though I'm not so sure that I should be as well; my emotions are running at an all-time high right now. I reach over blindly and take his hand into my own. He relaxes. A squeeze is all he needs. Just like with Naruto.

Except that it doesn't feel the same. Our fingers clasping tightly together now feels strange. Like they don't belong.

We arrive at the hospital in little time with much less close calls. I practically sprint from the car to keep up with the paramedics wheeling Naruto in the hospital. Pein catches up with me. And then the tears start pouring again as I catch a glimpse of Naruto once more. Bloody and broken. Pein wraps an arm around my shoulders, and we follow the stretcher in through the automatic doors. Though, they don't let us go farther than the waiting room.

So, we wait.

In less than thirty minutes, a few familiar faces trickle in. Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara. All in strange costumes, of course. Temari was dressed in a nun costume, but since she was pregnant - and VERY visibly showing - it seemed as though it would be taken as something offensive by the fairly religious people I assume are currently residing in the waiting room. Kankuro was dressed as a clown, face caked in colorful makeup - not much of a threat there, though this was a hospital; it was highly inappropriate. And, well, Gaara was dressed as a serial killer doll, so I suppose the sight of this was a bit too much to handle in a hospital. Mental, really.

They join us. Temari sits beside me, immediately taking my hand. The boys sit on Pein's side. We're all quiet. Even if we know Naruto's going to be okay, there's still that anchoring feeling in the pit of our stomachs. Especially with me. I'd never felt worse before than I did now. I was the only one to blame for all of this. Even if none of these people thought so. None of them had the suspicion to think so, anyway.

Panic slowly creeps up on me. What would they say once they found out? Would they hate me? Would they never talk to me again? I was very sure something like this would happen. The probability was high. After all, Naruto was Temari and Kankuro's friend - I was someone they'd only ever really met once. And that was when we were going out. They'd kick me out of their lives faster than I would blink.

But I pushed the very thought from my mind, seeking for a distraction instead.

"What happened to the party?" I asked numbly.

All three of them seemed to snap from their own private thoughts. I almost regretted asking the question. I could only imagine what they were thinking. They looked at one another. Kankuro spoke.

"We broke it up. We weren't going to keep it going after this happened. That's sick." He sighed. "It was a hard task, but, eventually, some had sobered up enough to leave."

"What about his family? Has anyone called Naruto's family?" I find myself asking.

"I did." Temari replied. "While we were on our way. They were close by, so they should be here in a couple of minutes."

So, for the rest of those minutes, we say nothing else. And we wait again. We wait some more as Naruto's family pours in. I forget that Sakura is his family, too. And I feel guilty as a confusing look results in her features. Her parents are filling out paperwork regarding Naruto, so she separates from them to join us, sitting right across from me. She greets us. Then her eyes are on me once more, judging. Wondering, I rephrase. Sakura would never judge me, right? I was her best friend.

But I was a whore in my very own eyes. There was no way she would think of me as her best friend anymore if she were to ever find out about the things I did, the life I'm sure I ruined, and the relationship I believe I will single-handedly be bound to destroy all on my own. All in one night. No way that she would speak to me ever again if I grew balls big enough to tell her. She would hate me.

However, she didn't see me as such. Her eyes regarded me as her one and only best friend - the only person she'd never expect to hurt her or lie to her in any way. A faint smile ghosts over her lips and I can't help but return a shadow of a grim smile. Smiling is not exactly a smart move at this moment. This was a serious thing that was happening.

We remained silent for a while, listening only to the mumbled, droned chatter in the waiting room, the rushed tapping of the nurses shoes going from the waiting room to the elevators up to patients rooms and back again, and the endless ringing of the phone. But it all seemed to just merge together to me. Like one sound altogether. Faint, but one sound, indeed.

Naruto's family eventually joins us. They nod my way as a silent greeting, and say nothing more to me, but speak amongst themselves for a while before going silent yet again. I watch them for the briefest of moments, watching the way they give each other looks of comfort, promising quietly that everything would be fine - which would be - looking at the many different faces that were related to Naruto. Some of these faces differed greatly. Almost as if relation had no factor in this situation. And it didn't. Of course not.

Although there was one face that stood out to me the most. One face that stood out from the rest entirely. A face that was almost the exact replica of Naruto, just as flawless and perfect as it was before all of this happened. His build was almost similar to that of Naruto's, only it seemed like he was bigger. For a moment, I was convinced that it WAS Naruto, himself, and I was practically bursting at the seams with joy to know he was okay. But, of course, this was just a false indicating hope of mine. Naruto wasn't fine, I reminded myself, angrily. Don't be stupid, Sasuke.

Our gazes met. For a brief second, before I forced myself to look away, straight ahead.

That look. Those eyes. Those were the same cerulean eyes. Sharper, but they were the same cerulean eyes that Naruto had. Except the shape was different. And his whole demeanor just was completely different from that of Naruto's. Just in that brief moment that our eyes met, I felt like I really was looking at Naruto. But I wasn't. I felt like I continuously had to remind myself that tonight. Honestly. Could I get any stupider? This realization was sure to bring tears to my eyes once more.

I was the idiot who caused all of this to happen, after all.

It was a while before the doctor came out with news regarding Naruto's health. Although, despite how much I desired to know of his wellbeing, I felt like I wasn't allowed to know before his family. I stayed behind as practically everyone I was sitting with rose up from their seats to crowd around the doctor. However, as much as I would have liked to stay behind - especially if I was the one responsible for the damage - Sakura's grip on my hand would not release me. So I had no choice but to be saddled up right beside her.

"How is he, Doctor?" Naruto's father asked. I looked over at him. His eyes were red and puffy. Like he'd been crying. I'd never seen such an emotion on him. He was always such a happy man. Yet he had every right to feel as horrible as he did. This was his son that was hurt.

Reminding myself of this only made me feel worse. I hang my head in shame, tears pooling in my eyes. I grasp even tighter to Sakura's hand.

"He's only suffered a broken nose and a few bruises. While he insists that he's fine, we have him on painkillers." The doctor explains. And it seems as if a huge burden just lifts completely off of everyone's shoulders. The worry, for now, is gone. Relief replaces the worrisome aura. "He's resting, as of now... although he continues to ask for a Sasuke..."

And my head snaps up immediately. Just like that, all eyes are on me. Confusion ebbs in the family's features, and my boyfriend's, and my own best friend's. Blood rushes to my cheeks, as usual, as I raise my hand not in hold of Sakura's, all while avoiding their judging stares.

"That's me..." I murmur quietly.

The doctor nods.

"Now, while I may not allow visitors after hours, he's quite persistent. So, I suppose I could overlook the rule just this once." He rests his hand on my shoulder. My face burns. The attention I'm receiving is not something I want, especially if Naruto is the one who is causing this. Even if he isn't in the same room.

I stop in my tracks, before he leads me away, and reaffirm my grip on Sakura's hand. I take notice of Pein beside me. I take his hand as well. Mostly for his sake. I hadn't really noticed him since we'd arrived. But, of course, my attention is redirected to the doctor. He's just as confused as everybody else at my hesitance.

"Perhaps it'd be best if family went in first. Just so they know that he is, in fact, fine." I say. "I don't think it's fair that I go in before them..." And then I feel myself shrinking against Pein, as if trying to hide from the attention. Which, nope, wasn't going to go away that easily.

But, thankfully enough, it does go away. Everyone looks at the doctor, as if expecting some sort of refusal. Surely, he wouldn't refuse, right?

"...Of course. Family comes first, as always." With those words said, practically everyone related to Naruto, stepped forward to be led past the doors. The doctor immediately holds his palms up. "Although, only a few number of visitors at a time, please. Three, at the most. Preferably immediate family."

In an instant, those that stepped forward took a step back, looking over to Naruto's father. I did so, too. He nodded once, squeezing his wife's arm gently, stepping forward with her. Sakura's grip loosened around my fingers, but not before giving one final squeeze to them. Then she joins her parents. They are led by the doctor and in through the doors, while the rest of us go back to our seats.

All the sounds from the hospital immediately return to my ears. It suddenly seems too loud. I needed to be somewhere quiet. I needed to just get away from this for a while. All this was just becoming too much to handle. Even more when Naruto asked for me before he asked for his family. That seemed highly suspicious to paranoid me. It probably might not have meant nothing much to his family. Or to our friends. He was probably just asking for me because I was the only one he knew at the party. It wasn't like they instantly assumed that something happened between us that led for this to happen, right? I hoped not. Either way, I felt guilty, whether they had any suspicions whatsoever or not. I felt even worse when I realized that Pein was still holding my hand. Our fingers were linked together. Tightly. Like he was afraid I would let go. It frightened me.

But it just felt so wrong.

"It's good that he's doing okay." Pein murmurs softly as he's looking down at our intertwined fingers. He traces invisible designs over my skin gently. Then he looks up at me, suddenly confused. "What happened, anyway, that caused this? I mean, you DO know what happened, right? Is that why he was asking for you?"

Oh, if he only knew what exactly happened. If he knew how I was betraying his trust behind his back. If I told him the whole story, what would he say? What would he do? Would our relationship be over just as soon as I told him? Or would he want to try to fight through it to keep me with him? Keep me from going with Naruto instead... Which, in all honesty, I would do in a heartbeat. Seriously. What kind of horrible person was I?

I refuse to look at him and keep a straight face as I look ahead. There was no way I could tell him. I didn't want to risk fucking up this relationship.

"I don't really know. I heard a commotion. He probably must have picked a fight with someone. Must have been drinking..."

...So, I opt for telling a small white lie instead. Which, of course, was anything but. I was starting to hate myself. I wanted to rip my tongue out for drilling these lies into Pein's brain. Even more when I saw that he believed in it. I was such a fucking liar. A fucking cheating liar. Coward. Scumbag.

Who the hell was I becoming? Could I even call myself Sasuke anymore?

"...Wow. Never would have pegged him as the fighting type." He chuckles. I struggle to calm my racing heart that beats to the word, 'cheater', over and over, again and again and again. Sure enough, Pein notices my quiet nature. He wiggles our joined hands. I look at him. He looked concerned for me. Why did he have any right to be for a liar like me? "Hey, stop worrying. The doctor said he was fine. All he suffered was a broken nose and some bruises - he's a big boy; he'll pull through. They'll just have to wease him off the juice to keep this violent episode at bay, though. But, as far as you've known him... he's not that much of a big drinker, is he?"

Now here is probably where I should stop myself with the lying. I shouldn't have to lie through my teeth when I knew a thing like that wasn't true. Nothing I was saying was true, yet I wanted to save face from the thing I did many moments before. I didn't want to be THAT guy.

"Could be. He's got a pretty bad temper."

Yet it continuously poured out of me like venom, tainting his flawless reputation. Sure, Naruto had a bad temper, but it wasn't that unstable. I'd only seen him blow up once or twice in our relationship. He was a fairly calm guy. As for the drinking thing - I don't think I've seen him all too many times with a drink in his hand. Why was I even pinning him as such an asshole? Wasn't it supposed to be twisted the other way around?

However, Pein asks nothing more. Seems like he'd found out what he needed to know. I, on the other hand, am thoroughly stunned by my sudden lying, cheating nature. I wanted to punch myself. I wanted him to punch me. Hurt me until the truth came out, until I was a bloody, helpless mess. Honestly. He'd been with me for practically a month, yet he still didn't know when I was and wasn't lying. He believed me so easily. How couldn't he see through any of that?

Except... I never had to lie straight to Pein's face as much as this. In fact, I don't think I've ever lied to him once before. Not this much, I mean. It was only because I did something unspeakable and disgusting with someone other than him that made me act like this. And the guilt inside was killing me. So, he couldn't really know whether I was lying or not. Because, to him, everything I've ever said is true. Geez, why did I ever have to do something stupid on this night?

I continue to hold his hand and lean my head on his shoulder, while, of course, it doesn't feel right, I still feel the need to. As a way of winning good guy points on my part - which I knew was useless. I murmur a few sentences here and there, regarding the party and his actions - hopefully, as a way of diminishing my own; as usual, a useless attempt - and he tells me of them, smiling and grinning and reenacting them with overactive hand gestures. All while still holding my hand.

This continues for a few couple of minutes or so, until the doctor comes through the doors with Sakura and her parents in tow right behind him. I expect him to go ahead and let a few other family members go through, but he looks at me expectantly, then coaxes me over with his index finger. I look over at Sakura and her parents, confused. They merely shrug and smile.

I rise from my seat, releasing Pein's hand somewhat hesitantly and walk slowly towards the doctor. As soon as I reach him, he rests his hand against my back, leading me through the doors.

"Seems as if Naruto's quite anxious to speak with you. Practically kicked his family out of the room. You two must be the best of friends, huh?" He chuckles. The only thing I can manage to muster up is a shadow of a smile, barely noticeable, but still there.

He continues to make small talk as we make our way down the hallway and a short trip up the elevator to the next floor up. I manage short responses, which isn't rude of me - I'm just very cautious of what I say. Even so, I don't think he minds it much; it looks as if he's in a rush to tend to other patients. He bids me farewell as he shows me to Naruto's room, tells me not to take too much time, as there are some very strict nurses on call, and closes the door behind me as I turn to face my medicated ex-boyfriend for the second time tonight.

As expected, he has a smile on his face when he notices me. I can see it as clear as day. There's no blood tainting his features this time - there's blood on his costume, though; he's not wearing a hospital gown, so this situation isn't all too serious - except there's a line of stitches going across the bridge of his nose, a brash cut on his lower lip, as well as faint bruises scattered all around his face and eye. The smile on his lips deepens. I can't help but smile back. Only halfheartedly, anyway.

"Judging by the look on your face, I don't look too good." He murmurs lazily, practically slurring his words. I shrug, unsure of what to say, mostly because what I would say wouldn't go over too well with him.

A moment of silence hangs in the air between us. I felt very uncomfortable. Was I spending too much time in here with Naruto? Did that raise any suspicions yet? ...What could Naruto be thinking about over there? While looking at me... With a huge smile on his face... Really? Ah, wait, must be the painkillers. Maybe not, but, no! Pein, I had to remind myself, Pein was in the waiting room. Waiting for me, waiting to be with me, waiting for a 'faithful' boyfriend.

Yet, here I was, with an ex-boyfriend who I'd messed around, with just a few hours ago, fucking up a perfectly healthy and stable relationship. And what made it even worse was that Pein still didn't even know a thing about my and Naruto's past together. I never brought it up with him because he never asked, and because I didn't think it wasn't going to be much of a problem.

Although, now I was starting to doubt this - despite that I already was, the moment Naruto reintroduced himself into my relationship; purely by unlucky chance, and, of course, by my blind stupidity - this was beginning to pose a huge problem. Especially with Naruto coaxing me over like that, patting the empty spot beside him. This guy was just begging for problems, whether he knew he was causing them or not. And I only continued to provide him loopholes with my whorish ways. I couldn't stop myself.

Slowly, I make my way to his side, grazing the hospital bed lightly. Our fingers touch.

What are you fucking doing, Sasuke? You're just setting yourself up for more trouble. You're digging yourself into a deeper hole, asshole! Come on, seriously? You were just kicking yourself for causing all of this, moments earlier, and, suddenly, none of that matters anymore? SERIOUSLY? You're going to fuck up a good relationship that easily just because someone like Naruto is still into you? Despite that you're into him as well...

Did I need to constantly remind myself that I was the one who broke it off? I shouldn't have to be acting like this, right? I needed to instill some common sense, for once, at least. Really. If I was going to be a good person, I had to actually pull it off. That meant quitting this back-and-forth shit cold turkey. I didn't want Naruto and me to become like Ross and Rachel from 'Friends'; things never really seemed to go well for either of them. One of them always ended up fucking something up. I was continuously doing so, though. I didn't want it to be that way forever.

I restrain myself from sitting so close to him. I slide my fingers from touching his, and I backtrack a few spaces from him. He stares, confused.

"We can't do this anymore." I tell him gently.

He seems even more confused. He shouldn't have to be. He knew what we were doing, what I couldn't seem to stop myself from doing.

"Do what? Hold hands?" He scoffs, then laughs. "All right, we won't, but -"

"You know what I mean. Don't play dumb." I sigh, then take a seat across from him. He readjusts himself on the bed, now sitting up, feet touching the floor perfectly. I sigh again. "What happened back there at that party... It was a moment of weakness. For both of us. Mostly me, though. And it was a sign. Again, for me. What happened to you - THIS -" I gesture to his wounds. "- Was my fault, of course. In fact, it was a way of telling me to stop this with you. This is serious; it's not a game. I have a boyfriend. We shouldn't even have been alone together at all. We both knew what could have happened if I were to -"

"- Yet you were the one who initiated it. I never did anything at all. YOU kissed ME first, Sasuke. I was only going through with it because I thought it was what you would have wanted. I never intended for it to go the way it did. I only wanted to talk about our situation." How could he...! He was the one who - Or maybe it wasn't. I try to recall the earlier events between us at the party. I remember us being very close - he was obviously the one to blame for that - and then I... Oh, God, he was probably right. Naruto sighs now as I look at him, astonished, and ashamed of myself. "Now I'm starting to think that THIS is becoming a game for you. You know if I were to try to get you back, you'd know I'd be a little more classy than to make a move on someone in a committed relationship."

"Sure." I say sarcastically. "Says the one who asked me to choose between you or my current boyfriend no more than a month ago. How's that for classy, huh?"

"Hey, I never asked you to choose between us. I asked you whether you wanted me to go or stay in your life." He replies, his tone serious. "But, either way, you never gave me a direct answer. Shows how classy you are, yourself. Can't have your cake and eat it, too, you know." His tone was now turning sarcastic.

I didn't want that. I didn't like Naruto using sarcasm against me. In fact, I didn't even want to argue about this anymore. Especially with him. 'Friends' always taught me never to bring up old shit like that into a conversation, whether between friends or exes. Actually, between anyone, for that matter. I just didn't want to argue. That never got anyone anywhere.

I just wanted to end this between us.

"I'm sorry." I reply. His eyes seem to have lost the fire burning beneath them once those very words spill from my lips. He stares at me, confused, once more. I continue. "I'm sorry for dragging you along like this. I'm sorry for hurting you back then and now, both figuratively and literally speaking. If I did, you know... I just -"

"You did hurt me. You already know that. And you also know that I've forgiven you for it. I'm not one to hold a grudge." He really wasn't.

"I know, but... Shouldn't you? For Christ's sake, I can only do so much before you lose it. And I just let this happen to you because of my stupid little mistake. Like, really? Not even a hint of a grudge is trying to break through that gentleman front? Come on." I nudge his arm gently. "No one is THAT nice. There's got to be something for me in there that's something other than what you feel for me. Perhaps disgust? Maybe...?"

Naruto shakes his head, smiling. Then he shrugs.

"If I could muster up enough, well, whatever it is you want me to feel for you, then I would possibly try. But it's just not in my nature. I would fail at that. Easily. I'm a nice guy, Sasuke; it can't be helped. It's the way I'm programmed." He chuckles.

I roll my eyes.

"You're not a robot, though." I scoff, laughing. He shrugs again, scratching the back of his head. "...But I suppose that's not a bad thing. It's nice that you're not holding a grudge against me. You ARE a nice guy." This was it. I had to cut what we had between us. Officially. I had to be the mature one here. I take a breath, preparing myself. "Which is probably why I should be taking lessons from you. As a way for both of us to go on with our lives, uninterrupted and unhurt, you know? I mean, we both still have feelings for each other - it's only causing problems - so don't you think we should just... Stop this? I feel like I've dragged you along long enough... And I feel like I have to be the one to put a stop to it."

For a couple of seconds, Naruto looks at me, with a shocked look on his face, like he doesn't believe what I'm saying. A crease forms in the middle of his forehead. His mouth opens and parts several times, trying to figure out how to form words for this situation. Like he wasn't prepared for it.

It's unnerving to watch his speechless self take this into account. So slowly. I don't think I've ever seen him acting as such. It was a strange sight. But, eventually, he finds some sense to speak.

"...What? Are you, uh... Um, I don't... I don't know what to say, mostly because I don't exactly know what... you're trying to say..."

I merely smile at his confusion. I take a deep breath again, preparing myself once more. Naruto looks on, waiting, with confusion still marring across his features lightly.

"This between us - what we feel, what we do; all that's happened - it has to stop. Meaning: I don't think we should acknowledge each other anymore. Because if we acknowledge each other, we're only going to end up in the same situation as now. We don't want that. Sure, we'll still have feelings for each other, but we are going to have to ignore that. For both our sake. You have to start dating other people. I have to keep this relationship with Pein." And that's where it sinks in with him. I had made my decision. My long overdue decision. He nods once, taking a breath. His leg shakes, like he's impatient. He starts to mess around with the frill of his costume. He won't look at me.

Damn it. He asked me to make a decision. I made it. I chose something. It's what he wanted, right? Why was he -

"So, basically, this is you breaking up with me again? In a weird way. Indirectly." He frowns, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, that sounded very creepy stalker-esque. Talk about an overly attached ex-boyfriend. God, I'm sorry!" He starts laughing. "Honestly, I'm fine with your decision, but I just feel like this is very familiar territory we're treading on, huh? Only, uh, tame and civil. Mature, even."

I laugh. This was comforting. He thought it was a good idea - progress between us.

"Yeah, well, I've grown since then. I can now see and think clearly, with little to no struggle. On rare occasions." We both knew why. "Which is why I think we're better off just... Well, you know."

He did. Thank God he was understanding. I was lucky to have an ex such as Naruto. Even if my heart desired anything but Naruto being out of my life permanently. However, I couldn't disregard a relationship with Pein so easily. I didn't want to be that fickle. I'd worked so hard to keep it going for this long, only to cut it just when I'm put in the same area as an ex. Understandable that I'd still have feelings for him, but why throw something - like my relationship with Pein - away? This was special. I knew it deep in my heart. I was only messing it up the longer Naruto was in the picture.

Obviously, I was going to tell him what happened between the two of us - but I wasn't going to do anything to risk the relationship. Like, breaking up. I was going to leave it up to Pein as his own decision in what he'd decide to do with all of this. Whether he wants to continue our relationship or not. I wouldn't blame him if he decided to go with the obvious choice. Anyone who has ever had the displeasure of being cheated on would choose on what is the better choice - although, there are some who would rather see past the cheating and try to work around it, or do something about it. Preferably therapy, or something. But Pein and I are young - and we're only about a month or so in the relationship. Going to therapy at this phase in the relationship seems like a bit of a far-fetched solution.

Yet Pein seems like the type to want to work through something like this. And maybe not. He could be very unpredictable at times.

"You know, it's weird..." Naruto suddenly says. I look at him, brow furrowed. He chuckles, shaking his head, finger gesturing towards me. "This is the first time I've ever heard you admit aloud that you have feelings for me. All while telling me this is the last time we have to see each other in the same sentence. It's... Bittersweet, this feeling." There's a look in his eyes. A sparkle. Then a single tear slides down. As soon as it appears, it disappears behind Naruto's hand as he stands up from his seat, taking a few steps away from me. He barks out a laugh, continuously shaking his head. "I don't even know why I'm acting this way. You made your decision, right? I should be satisfied over this turn of events. Sheesh... Must be the drugs... Or something in my eye..." Another swipe of the back of his hand goes over his reddening eyes. He turns his back on me.

To say that I wasn't satisfied by this deep inside would be a lie. I'd honestly never expected Naruto to get like this, so the way this played out made me feel ecstatic. And way too guilty. God, could I be anymore of a horrible person?

I rise out of my seat and rest my palm against the back of his shoulder, comforting him, which, of course, I deemed a useless attempt. I always saw people in the movies doing this, but it never really did anything - my hand was just there. Like a burden. But I supposed it worked, in a way.

Naruto twists around immediately and hugs me, arms encircling around my waist and head resting against the crook of my neck. This sends a wave of burdened feelings for him rush all through my body and to the tips of my fingertips. This closeness only heightens the amount of these feelings. But there's no way I can NOT hug him back. How rude would that be?

I raise my arms and hug him from above the waist, palms placed comfortably against his back, and then I close my eyes. I revel in the feeling of his soft touch and of his smell - I can never quite get enough of it. He can't either, I suppose. If anything, he seems to be grasping on even tighter onto me. Perhaps it's a useless attempt to keep me here with him forever, but he knows I'd made my choice. In fact, he probably should have been out of my life just as soon as I'd broken up with him - we wouldn't have grown so attached as we were now. He would have forgotten about me, I would have forgotten about him, and we would have moved on with our lives, as happy as we once were. And maybe even with someone else. I'd like to believe that I'd have kept the weight off in a different scenario as well. But probably not.

Memories of us flood my mind, that of our happy old past times, that of our intimate words, and of our touches. Those would take forever to erase from my mind. They were simple little touches that couldn't compare to anything else in this world, especially to anyone else's touch. I yearned for his touch, though I hardly desired how much more trouble would come along with it. So I remained like this, instead. In his arms. Since this was as close much of a touch I could get - the safer way.

Now, I don't know how long it was before we ever pulled apart, but, when we had, a nurse had informed us that visiting hours were over and that I had to go. In a way, I was relieved, and then I wasn't. Because it meant I actually had to go, meaning both from this hospital and from his life. Of course, it didn't come from her, but it was unspoken words between Naruto and I; it was implied. We look at one another, hoping such a thing couldn't be true. I wished I could hold onto what little piece of him that I could. I'd like to think that he wished for the same.

He smiles instead, the corners of his reddened eyes crinkling immediately at the action. I can't help but think that this is the last time I'll ever see him smiling at me like that. Soon enough, he would be smiling for someone else like that, and I'd just be an ex from his past - hopelessly forgotten by then. But I repeat the same thing over and over in my head - you chose this; you wanted him to be happy. And it's what he deserves after so many months of going back and forth like this with me. He deserved better than what I couldn't reciprocate exactly at this moment in my life.

So, I smile back at him, and pretend I'm fine for both our sake. I murmur a broken sentence, wishing him luck in his future endeavors - and implied conquests, too - to which he laughs and says that that was the same thing his last college professor told him. I roll my eyes, laughing, then I pull him in for another hug. Hopefully, this time he won't let go.

"...We won't have to be like this forever, right?" He whispers. "We'll meet again and we'll try this all over again... Only the next time, it'll go over so much better, right?"  
>Those very words made my eyes tear up. I clutch onto him even tighter. I'm not even sure I can do this anymore. There's still so much of him that I still wanted. And the very thought of someone potentially having him instead made me feel all kind of emotions. Mostly sadness.<p>

"...Probably. Although, we can't make promises that we aren't sure we can keep." I sniffle, pulling away. He's looking at me the way he usually does - used to, now. I take a couple of steps back. "Who knows? You could meet someone, hit it off really well, and, by that time, this won't matter between us anymore."

Naruto nods, understanding. Though it doesn't seem like he takes it into account much. And, once more, silence falls over us again. However, it doesn't last too long. The nurse from before comes into the room again, tells me visiting hours are over - with a stern, obviously annoyed voice - so it's my official cue to leave. This time, she stays by the door. I can hear the quiet tapping of her impatience on the linoleum just as easily as I can feel her huffy anger. I'm about to turn to leave - much to this nurse's pleasure - but, yet again, Naruto catches my hand.

A quiet whisper falls from his lips. Those three words I could never find it in me to say linger in the air. I resist smiling, even if it's not very easy. Tears form instead. How easily he could say it and I couldn't even bear to think it. I suppose it was a good thing and a bad thing altogether - someday if we were to ever get back together again - I would, one day, say those three words right back to him. Just as easily as he does.

He releases me, and, just like that, I'm out the door, without so much as a second look over my shoulder. I try to compose myself as I'm walking down the hallway, riding the elevator back down to the lobby, but it's difficult. My whole body is shaking and the tears are still coming. I had to seem calm. I couldn't go out into the waiting area like this - everyone would suspect something other than Naruto's little accident was involved here. They would, somehow, make a connection.

I had to pretend I was fine. I was pretty good at that.

Suck it up, Sasuke.

I only hoped to do exactly that.

I took a couple of deep breaths, cleared my mind, and wiped the remainder of my tears. I swallowed and stepped in through the doors, hoping I didn't look like shit, put on my best face, and faced the broken little pieces of my life I had solely destroyed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Murder would probably be a viable reason for this chapter, huh? Especially after this long of a wait. -_- Seriously, how could I let it get this bad? Le sigh. Obviously, this is not how it ends, though - it goes way deeper than just this. I have tons more in store, eh? So, I do plan on finishing this story. Believe me. It's getting good. I think... Haha.

**Review,** I guess. Lol. :)

- With **much, much** adored love, **KK247** -


	21. My Breakup

**A/N:** It took a while to get this chapter out, mostly because I don't have Internet - man, it's a real drag, being without Internet, I'll tell you that - but, finally, I have been granted a few hours worth of this beauty. I mean, enough to browse and put this up. Yay! :D

But, anyway, hopefully, you'll enjoy this chapter. We are getting nowhere near the end, however. We still got many chapters to go. I intend to finish this story, no matter what.

So, yeah, enjoy! :)

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Quiet sounds of nature and the hum of the television in the background are the only sounds that are our friends in this moment of ours. We sit beside each other. We don't look at each other once. We don't hold hands. We don't talk.<p>

We're just there.

Maybe it was just my imagination, or something, but ever since the night of Naruto's accident about a week ago, things haven't been the same between Pein and I. While, yes, we were still together, we weren't exactly joined at the hip anymore. Our conversations lacked depth - we were quiet most of the time that we did happen to be together, such as now - we rarely held hands or kissed much anymore. It was strange. We were fine when we came out of the hospital - we were normal, as far as I knew.

I guess not. Perhaps because we both knew there was something to discuss. Moreover, for me to discuss. I hadn't told Pein anything of what had happened back at that party from a week ago - or anything much concerning of Naruto, either. I sensed he knew something was up, though. After all, I wasn't the one who put the brakes on this relationship all of a sudden like this. I was pretending everything was fine and dandy. But I probably shouldn't be doing that. I promised myself that I was going to tell him what happened between Naruto and I; I was completely disregarding his trust over me. Even more as of today. When the right time came to tell him, I told myself to tell him every single detail - and that time was now.

I switch the television off. Pein seems unaffected by this. His eyes blink away from the screen to look down at the floor instead.

"...We have to talk." I say quietly.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything. Hardly reacts. Doesn't even look at me, but I know he's listening. Yet... It wouldn't feel right if I told him everything without having him look at me. That wasn't fair. I needed him to look at me. Our relationship was at stake, and I needed his help in deciding whether or not he had a right to dump me. I needed his true reaction to what I'm about to tell him.

"Please look at me, Pein." I murmur. He does, but his eyes are blank. Almost as if they have no recognition of me whatsoever. Such a dull look frightens me. There are also bags under his eyes, proving many sleepless nights passed him by.

Because of you, the voice in the back of my mind sneers.

I'm about to speak, about to spill the ailing pain of my heart and of my promises in never doing such a thing ever again to him, that I was in it for the long run now. But he beats me to it, turning that blank, tired stare away from me to the gray television screen.

"For this past week, Sasuke, I have been trying to figure out what it is between us that falls flat. Why, only this week, does this suddenly happen, I ask myself. Every day. Every night. Wondering, worrying..." He rubs his hand over his chin, then over his eyes. So tired. He groans, leaning back on the couch. He looks up at the ceiling and shrugs, mustering a small chuckle. Not a laughable chuckle, but a weak chuckle. That frightens me even more than the sudden dead look in his eyes. "What happened? We were fine before that party. We were having fun, you and I. I mean, I'm trying to skim over the fact that it has something to do with the party and Naruto getting beat up. It's just too coincidental! I keep telling myself that very sentence, over and over and over again, until I believe it. But, then... I start to get ideas, making connections to all these coincidences, and my imagination gets the best of me. As usual. I think of the places in which Naruto just happens to show up, whether injured or not, and I start to think, 'What if...?'"

There's that weak chuckle again as he lifts his head to look at me.

With that.

Same.

Stare.

My heart is about to burst out of my chest by how quickly it's racing.

This side of Pein I hadn't seen once, and, of course, it was a very frightening sight to behold. Especially with his suspicions accused at me, which, I suspected, he knew were true. How eerily similar he and Naruto could be -

No. Stop that. Focus on your crumbling relationship. Don't go back there.

"Pein, I -" I start to say, hoping to dilute this situation, to tell my side of the story. But he's not finished.

"'What if...?' That's a dangerous game to play with someone, babe." He says. I kind of wished he didn't call me 'babe' when we were having a discussion like this. I was starting to feel even worse than I already was feeling. His suspicions were growing, and the more of his suspicions he revealed, the closer he was getting to the truth. "Now, me, I think, 'Sasuke would never fall for this; he's smarter than to cheat on me', and, here, I believe is where I'm right. God, how I wish how I was right. But I notice that whenever Naruto's around, you miraculously disappear. And then when he gets beat up, something in you changes. You go into full freakout mode, crying and saying that it was nothing like that, while punching the same guy who beat him up, for God knows what, now that just gets me thinking even more. You might say you're friends with him and all, and that none of it REALLY means nothing - yet it doesn't seem like you're protesting much to this. So, tell me, Sasuke... do YOU think we SHOULD talk?"

Just like that. Just like that, and his suspicions disappear. His eyes are different now. Serious. Judging. My insecurities creep up on me again and my emotions bubble up all at once. All my mistakes, all the stupid, fucking disasters I've created, mounted on top of one another, all toppling with unavoidable consequences.

"You don't understand..." I start to say, vision blurring as tears begin to form. My heart clenches. My throat starts to tighten. I let out a strangled cry and stand up from the couch. Pein does so, as well. In the back of my mind, I'm hoping he'll forget all this and just hug me, promising me he won't leave me. I wished he would.

But that wasn't the way relationships worked. There had to be some fights that one would win and some fights that one would lose. This was a definite loss for me. Surely, Pein wouldn't forget so easily about this fight. I wouldn't either.

"Help me understand, then." He tells me. So seriously. "What's the deal between you two?"

Despite that his suspicions were somewhat true, he wanted to know the complete truth and everything leading up to it about me and Naruto. I had to tell him everything; it was the only way he'd fully understand my emotions and my stupid, careless actions. So... I suck in a shaky breath and wipe away what tears I can from my eyes.

"Naruto was my first boyfriend. For two and a half months." I tell him. He nods. We sit back down on the couch. This time, we're sitting fairly close to one another. Not the intimate kind of closeness, but the kind of closeness that goes on between friends. I assumed that was the closest category we could identify ourselves as of now. I sniffle. "This was back when I was fat... and back when I wasn't all too smart. I broke it off with him too soon for the stupidest reason. And this was the same time he first said 'I love you'... I never said it back. I was too scared. I still am. Yet, even when I'm broken up with him and dating someone else, I find it so easy to make even stupider mistakes." I shake my head, angry at myself as I remember the events of the Halloween party, of Naruto's encounter with me, of how he held his ground and he ONLY wanted to talk. And how I didn't and I pounced on him like a cat in heat. I was so ashamed of myself. "I don't mean to feel the way I do, but it really can't be helped. I try to go against the hive mind and I always fail. I always end up back in his arms. And it's just... I'm sorry."

I try to keep my tears to a minimum, but they rack through my body and my shoulders shake uncontrollably. He doesn't comfort me. Even if there's no reason to try to. I was the idiot. He was the innocent one; there was no need for comforting on my part, but on his. Besides, I had told my story - it was what he needed to know, what he needed to hear. I needed to hear what he wanted to do now. Would he want to continue this relationship, despite of what I did? Would he want to try to fix me, to keep me from feeling the way I did about Naruto? I would surely let him. That was one of the main reasons I let Naruto out of my life.

But...

What if he decided against keeping this relationship? What if he wanted nothing more to do with me anymore? He was right. This 'what if' game was a dangerous game to play. But it was his decision - I couldn't do anything to sway his opinion. I'd already messed up enough.

"...Was that the only time since we were together that you've let yourself get close enough to him like that?" He asks, and the way he says it makes me feel unbelievably guilty. Even if it was the only time. I nod. He sighs, obviously relieved. Although, that isn't the only question that's on his mind. "What did you guys do?"

"We only kissed." I say quickly and that continues to raise suspicions. Technically, that much was true. We did kiss, but, of course, if I were to let myself get into the moment even more, I would have let it gone further. Pein had a right to know that as well, too. "But... It was leading up to something more than just that."

This very sentence caused him to look over at me. Very seriously. But he looks away just as quickly, pain clearly etched into the fabrics of his eyes. He takes a moment for himself, fingers clasping together tightly, knuckles white.

"...And did you?" He asks calmly. Quietly. Despite his disturbed appearance.

Did he really have to ask something like that? He knew I didn't. Did he really think I was so stupid as to... Yeah, never mind. I probably was. Though, obviously, I had common sense. For the most part, anyway.

"No. I didn't want to cause any more of a problem. I felt like I did enough damage just by being in the same room with him all alone." I shake my head, wiping away stray tears. "I never intended something like my past with Naruto get so out of hand and so messy. I thought nothing more could come of it since we were over, but..." I shake my head again, ashamed and disgusted with myself. "I guess I should have seen it coming."

Pein immediately scoffs.

"Obviously, you SHOULD have if you were thinking of doing anything more with him than just KISSING." Calmness on his part now took no part in his voice. It rose a fair amount - not shouting, but provoked as such only slightly. He sighs, pushing his hair back in frustration and rests his head in between his hands. He speaks from behind them, voice muffled. "I just... I never thought you'd do something like this to me, Sasuke. I mean, you still have feelings for your ex, and then you go behind my back and do things like what you did." He utters a quiet sound of exasperation. And then he looks up from his hands, refusing to look me in the eyes, instead looking up at the ceiling. This killed me. What had I done? "You could have just avoided this whole relationship with me in the first place, you know? We wouldn't even be having this conversation. You could have just told me and I would have understood that you were to be left alone to deal with your demons. And you'd probably be off making out with HIM or something if you did tell me and we weren't together. Or maybe having this same conversation with some other poor soul about your woes and your mistakes." His voice had taken a sharp, hostile tone as he rose from the couch.

I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want it to end like this between us. I didn't want him to have such a bitter opinion of me. Even if he deserved to. I had every right to tell him everything between Naruto and I, from the beginning - it was my stupid mistake to avoid from speaking of such a critical part of my life.

I follow him as he's starting to head for the front door. He reaches for the doorknob.

"Pein, please. I'm really trying to ignore all of this. I've cut off all contact with him. And we promised each other that if we were to ever cross paths, we'd ignore each other. Pretending like our situation never happened." I reach for his shoulder, gently prodding him to look at me. He does, but it doesn't seems like he's convinced at all by my words. "Please." I rest my hand over his cheek, caressing the nape of his neck. He places his hand over mine and brushes his lips faintly against the palm of my hand, before placing it over my chest.

He shakes his head. Something within me shatters. I resist the urge to cry.

"It's not enough. While you say one thing, I know it isn't what you really want. You don't want me. You want Naruto. You'll never want me as much as you want him. Besides..." He chuckles. How easily he could transit from one emotion to the next. But I suppose it was his go-to for these types of situations. "I think we've sucked this relationship dry to the bone, anyway. Don't pretend otherwise." He wiggles his finger at me. It reminds me of the earlier stages when we WERE happily dating, before all of this collided together into a horrifying fashion. But the smile that he's throwing my way tells a different story. Like it never happened, or it never bothered him - only, deep inside, I know it does - yet his smile is so contagious, it's impossible not to smile back. I muster a small smile. He turns to leave, but then stops and turns to me again. "And, uh, well, it's probably for the best that you don't have yourself involved in relationships for a while. Until you think you're ready, at least. You don't want to give any potential future boyfriends the same problem. They won't be as lenient and understanding as I was, just for future reference."

And he turns again to leave, but I stop him again. Perhaps I'm testing what is actual reality and what isn't. This is all a definite reality. There's no need for my testing over it. But maybe I just need clarification on what happens after this sort of thing. I didn't really know what to do now. Did anyone ever REALLY know?

"So, wait..." I start to say. He stares as I try to search for words. I look at him. My hand is resting over his own. I drop it. "This is it. We're over. That easy?"

"As one, two, three, yeah." He replies. I shake my head. Not because I didn't want it to end - either way, this relationship was doomed - but I'd have expected him to be a little more concerned about our relationship.

"Couldn't we have tried to work through it? Or, around it, at least?" I ask. The questions sound so stupid in AND out of my head. Pein probably was thinking he dodged a bullet with me. He might be thinking that I would be the type of person to stick through with something, no matter what problems arose at such a critical time. I laugh a little. "I'm not trying to pull you into a guilt trip here. I was just wondering if anything at all could be done to keep this relationship above the surface."

For a second or two, he bows his head, brightly colored bangs covering his silver eyes. He chuckles, shaking his head.

"There wouldn't be much to fix, anyway. We could have TRIED to work through it, around it, over it - we could have tried anything and everything - but I don't think it would have done much. The problem is you, Sasuke." He wrinkles his nose at his wording. "Well, not necessarily you, alone, but you have a problem that can't really be fixed magically. You need time to yourself is all. To get everything in order."

I hummed quietly in response as I crossed my arms over my chest. It made sense. He was right - there wasn't much to fix. It was just me. He was fine. Even if he would have tried to do something about it, it wouldn't work. As he said, a problem like mine couldn't be fixed magically. Obviously. Besides, it's not like anyone in the world would be crazy enough for someone else to stick it through thick and thin while their beloved was still head over heels stuck on someone else. No one was that sick in the head. Something like that was bound to end in shambles.

"Is that all? Or was there more to this?" He muses gently after a while's silence, gesturing his hands between us.

I shrug halfheartedly.

"A few, but I think those questions were the ones that bothered me most. Although, there is one question I still have on my mind..." I say, trailing off.

"Shoot."

I'd always seen the way these breakups went and how uneventful they all played out. They didn't talk, didn't look at each other, pretended what happened between each other never happened. But, of course, what else would one expect in the aftereffects of a breakup? Except I didn't want to be like those couples in the movies. I wanted to defy the norm. Even if people said otherwise, saying stuff like being friends after a breakup would never work out, too much jealousy hanging around in the air afterwards - you know, the usual. Sure, it would be a little awkward between us, but I didn't want to lose Pein as a friend. We were just as close then when we were a couple. All that would really change was the intimacy betweens us. We'd have to get out of that mindset when we'd kissed each other as a daily greeting to a manly grip of a handshake and a hard manly hug, followed by an equally manly pat on the back. He did that with his other friends. Male friends. As for the girls, they qualified for a gentle hug. I would very much prefer a gentle hug, but that wasn't a decision I could make - it mostly depended on him.

Which brought my question to full circle.

"...Will it be awkward between us?"

Immediately, as if expecting this sort of question, he nods.

"Guaranteed. Now let me tell you how it'll go down." He puts his palms up, readying himself. "When our circle of friends figure out our sudden distant behavior, the questions will come. Then, once we provide confirmative answers of our sudden distance, they'll find it awkward to be around us, deciding whether to choose your side, or my side. Depending by how long they've known us, or by how much they like us, of course - it's only natural selection. And it'll be a hard decision to choose between us. So, in retribution, our friends will tiptoe around the subject of us for a few couple of days, siding with a telling of each of our stories behind our backs, eventually succumbing us to be awkward around each other ourselves. It'll throw our friendships all out of wack, I'll say an estimate about, a month or so, and, hopefully, by then, we'll be able to pick up the shattered pieces of what's left from our friendship and build up from there." He grins at me as I frown at him slightly. "Unless you want to avoid all of that and go a different direction."

I nod.

"I was kind of hoping it wouldn't come to that. I still want to be friends. I don't want the stench of awkwardness to mess with anything. And, yeah, I know, I know, exes aren't supposed to hang around with each other after the destroyed ruins of a relationship, blah, blah, blah. But..." I sigh. "I like having you in my life. Most people can't say that about their exes. They always say horrible things. I would never say things like that about you. You still mean something to me. You are someone in my life. You help me. You provide insight to such obvious things. Like a wise, watchful guardian-like wizard... However, I understand if you think otherwise and would like it to be the way you described."

He snorts.

"Yeah, right! I was only saying that because I thought it was what you wanted to hear. But now that I hear you saying something otherwise, I'm relieved." He lets out a whoosh of breath, chuckling nervously. "Seriously, though. You're not joking? You still want to be friends? Just so you know, it won't be the exact same between us as it was a month ago. There will be a smidgen of awkwardness."

"It doesn't matter. We can survive through that. If it does turn out awkward, we take a moment to ourselves and snap ourselves out of it. That's the only way, right?" He nods, unsurely, forehead creasing. "Other than that, let's just, please, not let our breakup lead it entirely to that. I want us to be normal. Can we do that?"

Pein shrugs.

"I hope so." He says. "But, anyway, I should probably go. It's getting awkward here." He laughs at the deadpanned look on my face. "I'm kidding. If I wanted it to let it get in the way, I wouldn't have joked about it. Think of how much easier I made it seem now, eh?" I roll my eyes as he opens the door and takes a step out the door, but then he stops abruptly, turning. "Ah! Our breakup. Is it cool if we mention it was a mutual agreement? Technically, in a sort of indirect way, it was. That way people don't start talk about who was or wasn't the bad guy."

I nod, satisfied.

"I'm good with that. And if they ask why we broke up?"

"Well, tell them the truth, if you want. We wanted different things." While if it was true, the casualty in his voice made me feel even more uneasy about it. He was right. There was just a smidgen of awkwardness about this. But I wasn't going to let it affect our friendship now. I wanted him in my life, I reminded myself. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nod and bid him a farewell. I watch as he walks down the path to his car, throws me a small wave, and gets in his car. He turns the engine and takes off down the street, turns right at the corner and disappears from view down the road.

At the same moment that he's disappeared from view, my parents' car pulls into the driveway, and my parents pour out of the car. My very pregnant mother reaches me first, my father trailing closely behind her, watching over her, hand on the small of her back. You know, just in case her belly happened to topple her over. She was so big. And she was glowing. It wouldn't be long before she popped. We were all hoping for that day to come soon. My mother, especially.

She had grown weary and her temper flared twice as hotly now as she was getting staggeringly closer to her due date. Seriously. When she was tired or hungry or bored or anything of the sort, she just threw various insults our way when we didn't tend to satisfy her needs quickly. It was very frightening to be near a pregnant person such as my mother. She was a vengeful beast. Even more with my father, as he was always the one nearest her, ready to fetch anything it was that she needed, tending to every small little need of hers. Now THAT of my father bending over backwards for my mother was something else - it was funny, in all honesty. He was like an obedient puppy.

However, it was a different story today. They were both in good spirits. They had been out all day, out on the town to shop for my mother, eating dinner, spending time alone together, and finding a way to distress from the crazy life they had ahead for them as well. Just what they needed; a whole day to themselves. They wouldn't have time for it for a few couple of years or so.

The closer that my mother approached me, her smile seemed to grow. An airy flighty aura emanated from her. Oh, yes, she was in hella good spirits. Practically floating. Drunk, it might have appeared to others.

"Hello, my dear, sweet Sasuke boy." She sighed dreamily. I looked at my father, eyebrows raised. He shrugged, gesturing his hand forward, as if saying, 'just go with it'. Her delicate hand reached for my face, thumb stroking over my cheek. She stares intently, noticing something off about the way I looked at her. "Have you been crying?"

My father now looks intently at me, too. I prod my mother's fingers from my cheek gently and head inside, shaking my head. They follow.

"I was watching a sad movie." I lie. But, of course, they, being parents, see right through it. They both mirror frowns my way. I sigh. "Pein and I broke up." Immediately, their expressions change.

My father, as usual, doesn't know what to say to situations such as these. He was not a man of much emotion. Though, he made some effort. He offers to listen to my sorrows, if I needed to unload. I counted that as helpful. I smile in recognition of his words, nodding.

My mother, on the other hand, fawns over me, like a child who has fallen into the dirt. Like a child usually does. Not much damage done. They just dust off and they're fine. I mean, I WAS fine. I try to reassure her of that fact, but she's not convinced. She offers me food as her way of comfort and heads into the kitchen, clutching my hand tightly, my father following behind. She makes me sit on a stool as I continuously try and try to reassure her that I'm fine, that she didn't need to worry about me.

Yet she did worry.

She was a mother, after all. I was still her baby in her eyes. I needed to be looked after, whether I needed her to or not.

Both my father and I watch her as she clutters about in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, taking out pots and pans and ingredients for her concoction, muttering under her breath about her 'poor baby' and how the world was out to get me. I try not to laugh, but it's difficult not to find the humor in this.

My father laughs as well. Although, he does it quietly. He wasn't sure whether or not my mother was still keen on her hearing with all her worrying over me.

He rests his forearms on the counter, resting his head over them, looking over at me, waiting. Questions of wonder dangle in his eyes. I can feel his urge to know what happened between us while they were gone for the day. What had I done, he must be wondering. Or what had Pein done. I laugh a little at this.

Pein was right. People would find a way to pin who was the good guy or the bad guy in the relationship leading to the breakup.

"So, what happened? Did he break up with you or did you break up with him?" He asks, fiddling with the salt shaker on the other side of the counter. I can still hear my mother mumbling on the other side of the kitchen, cutting up vegetables. As she passes by the other side of the counter to snatch the salt shaker from my father, I can hear her say something along the lines of breaking hearts and not raising me to be let down like this, that it was a shame for Pein to let me go, that I had so much more to offer. You know. Normal stuff coming from a parent, I suppose.

She was so silly. She was starting to sound a lot like that rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, always muttering about 'being late for a very important date', all chatter-y like that.

I shake my head, turning to my father.

"Technically, he did. But it was my fault. He had every reason to. I did something stupid." He narrowed his eyes at the word 'stupid'. Bet you anything he's not thinking anything positive of me now. I watch my mother as I speak. "Last week, I went to Gaara's Halloween party, you remember? When I told you Naruto had gotten hurt?" A nod. "Well, I kind of, um... I fooled around with him a bit. But I didn't let it go any farther than kissing, Dad, I swear." Obviously, any parent wouldn't believe those words coming out of their own kids mouths. So I skimmed over the part about Suigetsu almost beating him down to a pulp because of a clear misunderstanding. I didn't really want to see my father blow any fire from his nostrils. I continue with my happenings. "Pein never knew anything about Naruto, so he started to piece things together, little by little. He started to notice things about us. So, with that, I confessed everything. How I hadn't exactly gotten over him and... yeah." I finish lamely. Awkwardly.

I never really told my father anything, so pouring something personal like this to him was strange. Since I always kind of thought of him as never accepting of my being gay. I believed he was in denial about it all. Probably not. Like I said, he was not a man of much emotion. It probably didn't matter to him - I was still his son; it didn't change anything.

"Huh." He clears his throat. "I thought... I thought you WERE over Naruto. If you were still hung up on the kid, why jump the gun so quickly? You obviously weren't ready for this relationship." How alike my father and Pein were. Could have mistaken them for father and son instead. Could have even become the bestest of friends were it not for brainless Sasuke! Such wise men they were, compared to the incompetence of my little brain!

"Pein said the same thing..." I sigh, then shrug. "I don't know. I just... He was nice. He liked me. I liked him. I thought if I gave him a chance, then this whole thing with Naruto would just blow over and I'd be home free. And, you know, it wasn't much of a problem for the first couple of weeks. I was okay. I hadn't thought about Naruto once, or wondered what had become of him or anything. But then I had to do something stupid and throw this whole relationship out of proportions. I COULD have just avoided all of this." However, I wasn't going to kick myself for what I did. It was already in the past. Done and over with. And Pein and I had parted on good terms - and we were still going to remain friends. A win-win situation. Hopefully, we wouldn't let the awkwardness consume the rebuilding of our friendship.

My father watches my mother as he mulls this conversation over in his head. He's probably trying to grasp at just how low common sense his own son had compared to him. I wondered that too, myself. Perhaps he was thinking of the mistakes he had once made in his life, and comparing mine and his side to side, laughing at just how ridiculous my mistakes were compared to his. He was obviously the smarter man, therefore the lack of the mistakes on his side were slim to none. What a joke I was, huh? Gay and stupid. Could the combination make anyone gag even more?

...Geez, what was up with me in putting myself down so much? I hadn't done anything wrong. And my father had yet to say anything about the current situation I put myself in. He didn't think any less of me, of that I was entirely sure. Somewhat. Even if he was my father, he had a right to instigate an opinion of what he really thought of my actions and such. He had to have SOME voice of his own, rather than just the authoritative voice of a parent.

"Well, what's done is done, eh? Can't change what's happened." My father says. I should have suspected. He wasn't going to say much on this. What else was there to say? "You just relax without the worries of any companionship for now. Focus on your studies. That is the important thing at the moment - your future depends heavily on it." I nod once. He was right - it seemed common sense was bestowed upon everyone else but me; what a shame - I needed to focus on my studies.

I hadn't even added studies into this equation known as my life. I hadn't even moved the stack of overdue homework papers I had lying around my desk once. I hadn't even applied to any of the college applications I'd received from my counselor. I'd been so wrapped up in the worries of my personal life that I'd completely factored out the importance of my future and how great a severity of an impact that would fall upon me. And my parents. I would become a disappointment in their eyes. I didn't want that.

I wanted to be successful. And the only way I would get there would be by actually doing some of the work. I had to get started. All this talk about relationships was giving me a headache. Both my father and Pein were right. I needed to be alone at this point in my life. Focus on other important matters.

I nod at my father once more, taking his advice to heart. I thank him fondly as I rise from my seat. I make my way around the counter to my working mother still fretting over my break up with Pein. She was moving about the kitchen swiftly, slicing and frying and all kinds of cooking. I stop her, smiling, and a look of confusion appears over her features immediately. I kiss her forehead gently, thanking her, whispering only to her that I was fine, but I appreciated her concern.

She gives me a look. I repeat that I'm fine. Really. And I smile again, flashing her a thumbs up. She doesn't believe me, as usual. Parents always had a way of knowing. Maybe because they were our parents and they knew us better than we knew ourselves. Or maybe because they had also gone through something like this, just as our ancestors before us and those before them.

But I really was okay.

Sure, this breakup of mine with Pein wasn't one I wanted to rid of so easily. He was a good guy. He made me laugh. I wanted to see just how long it would have lasted were it not for my mistakes; we could have lasted all throughout our senior year. Maybe even more. Possibly could have gone to college together.

Either way, I was fine. We were still friends. Our friendship could last forever. We could still go to college together. As friends, of course, if we were to ever resume our rightful places as such. Only time would tell.

"I'm okay." I whisper. And then my mother suddenly stares at me with such a guilty look in her eyes that I almost decide to take back my words, whether they spoke of truth or not. Perhaps she felt guilty because we hadn't spent any time together, what with her stressing about the pregnancy and everything else in between. She must have felt like we didn't talk in ages and this breakup of mine would be her only chance in actually connecting with me once more.

She smiles anyway, patting my forearm gently, nodding, then she looks over at her pots and pans stewing away soundlessly. She looks back up at me, tears in her eyes, fingers caressing my palms.

"Are you hungry, though? I hear that going through a breakup can really build up an appetite..." She murmurs.

I chuckle and kiss her forehead again. It was like dealing with a small child, my mother. Maybe it was the pregnancy that caused her to act like this because usually she was a fierce, opinionated woman who embellished her strong words through kindness. And seeing her act like this, concerned as she was, I realized she must have felt inferior at this point in her life, which might have made her feel like she needed to establish a place in my life once more. It was impossible - she never left from my life; she was still there.

I nod to her question, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She smiles, kisses my cheek, then pats at my forearm yet again, bidding my leave. She tells me that she would call me when it was all ready. And she goes back to her cooking, quiet now. My father watches her from behind the counter, fist against his temple, supporting his head.

I leave the kitchen and I climb upstairs slowly. I drag my feet as I take a step one at a time, the look on my mother's face still on my mind. She didn't believe I was okay. She could see through that. I'd only been in two relationships. Naruto and Pein. I broke off the first one but, this time, Pein broke it off with me. Clearly, anyone who had been broken up with would be destroyed by a thing like that. While, yes, there was a dull ache starting up in my heart and the strangest urge to cry, I was still okay. Maybe I didn't feel as strongly as I did about Pein as I felt about Naruto. That made me feel pretty bad.

My throat feels like it's closing up as I struggle to keep the urge to cry from escaping past my lips. I stop in the middle of the stairway and slide down against the banister, leaning my head against the bar, shaking. I'm trying to regain my composure. I try to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, that this happened to everyone; I wasn't the only one. But that was a lie. I take deep breaths as an attempt to calm myself, yet it fails. And I start to cry.

Softly, at first, to keep quiet from my parents in the kitchen and to save face from my little white lie of 'being fine'. Eventually, it heightens to sobs. I want to stop. I want to keep believing that I was fine, that I was okay, that this didn't bother me at all. I didn't want anyone to find me like this. I looked out of my mind pathetic. Like someone who belonged in a mental institution.

Yet it didn't go like that at all.

My brother found me before my parents came out of the kitchen. He takes me in his arms, embracing me immediately as I blubber against him. He doesn't ask me what's wrong or anything. He just holds me as my parents watch from the bottom of the stairs. I can hear my mother crying softly. My father is shushing her, telling her the same thing I told her. That I was fine. That she was going to be fine. That they would help me get through this.

I don't know for how long I was crying or when I stopped, but when I came to my senses, I realized how tired I was. Itachi helps me to my room, our parents following. He tucks me into bed gently as my parents pile blankets on top of me. One by one, they whisper that they love me and kiss me on my forehead, that they were here if I needed to talk. I knew that. They were my family. They were all good people. But I didn't get to tell them that. I was so tired.

I nod weakly as the urge to cry awakens within me once more. I ask my mother to stay. She does, taking her place beside me. My father turns on the lamp on the end table beside my bed. Then both he and Itachi leave, shutting the door.

I take my mother's hand. She squeezes lightly. I want to apologize to her for not confiding in her more about my life or being all there when she needed me. Though, I'd like to think she understood. Somehow.

We don't talk. We're very quiet. She touches my hair, caressing it. I'm drifting. The dull ache is still there lurking in my heart, but I feel safer now with this strong woman by my side. And for my unborn sibling in my mother's belly. I rest our entwined fingers atop it. I smile once a nudge finds its way between us. I want to believe that that tiny little nudge was a way of connecting with me in helping me feel better. I knew better than that. Surely, my sibling had no idea what was going on out in this world. It was merely coincidental.

Even so, I keep that little nudge close to my heart as well as the soft touch of my mother's kindness in aiding me. I thank her as I slowly start to drift off into my dreams. She doesn't say anything. There isn't much to say anymore.

So, instead, I sleep, smiling and dreaming of what could be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And, yeah, there we go. I hope it was pleasing to you, Sasuke's pathetic unhappiness. Lol. Towards the end, I was reading a couple of books, so I apologize if it got all shitty. (Game of Thrones and The Perks of Being a Wallflower, if anyone is interested in knowing. :D Really good books, both of them; I advise all of you to educate yourselves on reading them.)

**Review,** if you'd like, please! Chapter will be up soon! :D (Hopefully...)

- With much, much **adored** love, **KK247** -


	22. Aftermath

**A/N: **Well, its been a while... I feel bad. Haha. A couple of years since I last updated, no? Shame on me. If you're still sticking with this story, props to you, and, if you're not, then... I'm sorry for disappointing you. But I promised a finished story and that is what y'all are getting.

Now, back to regularly scheduled programming! :)

* * *

><p><strong>F A T<strong>

* * *

><p>Friday. The end of the week, we meet again. After the week I've had - which, in reality, is a millennium for a high school student - I really need to unwind.<p>

Even so, Thanksgiving vacation days were here! One whole week of peace. No homework, no teachers, no scheduled lunchtimes - just complete, utter freedom. I could go out and play in the snow, disregarding the strange looks people would throw my way as an eighteen year old teen, such as myself, sleds over a snowy hill. Though, I bet none of that would happen this vacation. At least now that I had a job.

As the last bell of the day rang, Shion and Tayuya immediately rushed my way, squealing about the adventures we would all have this Thanksgiving vacation. Kagura no longer hung out with us, as she had found her own set of friends for her own, who, I'm sure, were much more crass than she was. Every now and then she would stay with me long enough to hold a conversation, but once Shion and Tayuya came near, she would roll her eyes and waltz away, wordlessly, without even a goodbye of sorts. Not that Kagura was a girl who provided much of manners to say a proper goodbye anyway. I didn't mind. At least there wasn't a separate conversation for these three girls, for the time being.

Now, a little bit of a backstory with the current situation of these girls. In the week leading my breakup with Pein, Tayuya and Kagura had an argument regarding in something alike - which Tayuya hadn't shared with us since my breakup with Pein was just as fresh. Somehow, word got out, accusations flew, tears were shed, and the formation of the 'Three Musketeer Girls' was now broken. Well, technically, one-third of the formation was broken.

I mean, I'm not happy with the situation. I don't think any of us are. There's an imbalance - a sense of uneasiness. One would think that with Kagura gone, peace would be restored - and it has, no doubt about it - but Shion and Tayuya still find themselves unable to conform to it. It's almost as if they're waiting for Kagura to come back into the group and restore her power once more. Or maybe they're just waiting for their friend to come to her senses and apologize for being such a bitch... Maybe something along those lines. Personally, I think Kagura is bound to forget our existence for the remainder of the senior year, but something deep within me tells me otherwise. One could only hope Kagura had a soul like a normal human being.

But that's a different matter to focus on for another time.

My vacations were just beginning, and, even though I didn't really have anything stellar planned, I felt like this thanksgiving was going to be a little better than all the others I had. While other thanksgivings I focused mainly on the consuming of the goodies that were going to be served on this giving day, I rarely gave thanks for anything. I mean, in all reality, if I was fat, what did I really have to be thankful for? That I hadn't died yet? Because of my obsessive eating?

...Actually, no, yeah, that's something big to be pretty thankful for. It wasn't like my cholesterol was off the charts or anything, but simple things seemed too difficult for me. Like the stairs, nowadays it's easy for me to climb up and down throughout the day without much difficulty. But, when I was fat, it felt like I was climbing to the highest point of the world with no stops along the way. And that usually lasted about a minute to walk up the stairs. Even when it felt like hours.

It was two in the afternoon. Students were granted early release and the school grounds were emptying fast. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see students getting into their cars and speeding off into temporary freedom. Other students stayed on school grounds, leaning against the wall, laying on the grass - in no way rushing to get home to get away from the hellhole of this high school like I was.

I had my car keys at the ready as I rushed through departing throngs of students, as they pushed and shoved their way to the parking lot. Shion and Tayuya headed the same way, still squealing about Thanksgiving vacation. Once I reached my car, we bid each other farewell. They had plans to go out and figure out what they were going to do with their free hours. I had plans to stay at home and regenerate for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe I'd head out once the night hits. Call Sakura or something to hang out. It had been a while since we last hung out - it was time we got reacquainted once more. I needed my best friend. At least to fill her in on all the dirty details of my life and vice versa.

Once I reach my car, I throw my backpack in the backseat and settle myself into the freezing leather seat. As soon as I'm in the car, I'm shivering. I struggle to get the key in the ignition and I rush to turn the warmer on. I blow into my palms and rub them together to generate heat. While I wait, I switch on the radio. The last couple of words of a radio commercial filters in through the speakers and then the first few notes of a soft rock plays. And, of course, at that exact moment of peace, my phone rings. I jolt in my seat at the sudden ringing.

I yank my phone from the deep pits of my pocket and scan the caller ID - and it's Sakura. What a strange coincidence. I smile and click into the call.

"Well, hello there, stranger. I was just thinking about you." I say.

"Have you now, you dirty boy? Ooh, naughty, naughty." Sakura giggles. "Hi, Sasuke."

"Hey, Sakura. How coincidental of you to call. I was thinking of calling you today to hang out."

"Really?" She scoffs, playfully. "Don't lie, Sasuke. The mighty overlord knows when you're lying."

"... You mean Santa?"

"Funny." I couldn't resist. "I called for the same reason. Kinda in the mood to go out today. On a double date. You with your lover and me with my shiny, new toy." And that wiped the smile completely off my face. Not the fact that she had finally hooked herself someone to date now, but her requesting a double date with my now non-existent boyfriend.

I lean back into my seat, rubbing my leg for warmth, unsure of how to turn the direction of this conversation. It had been about a month since Pein and I had broken up. I hadn't thought about it in that time, despite passing by him in the hall several times. And it only reminded me of how deep a wound it probably still was for the both of us.

"Um, Sakura? We're not... together... anymore..." I struggle to say, bracing myself for the flurry of her concern over my well-being.

At first, there was silence. For a moment, I thought she hadn't heard what I said. That, for sure, I would have to repeat myself, and I didn't want to do that. I'd repeated it so many times at school to acquaintances and even strangers. Why did my personal life matter to them anyway? It wasn't like my personal life reflected theirs in any way. Though, people insisted on the subject of my breakup with Pein, despite the news being at least a couple of weeks old.

Finally, she sighs in frustration. Clearly not at me, but at herself for just finding this out now. I would have texted her or something, but I guess other things were on my mind. Just exactly as other things were on hers.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I didn't know. I thought -"

"It's okay. It was kind of a mutual agreement. I think..." I mean, it was, wasn't it? Pein didn't want to continue a relationship in which I still harbored feelings for Naruto - even though I wasn't even sure I did anymore, much less after what happened at the party to him because of me; I was a danger - and I didn't want to continue a relationship in which I didn't really see progressing if I didn't correct myself. "It was pretty much my fault. I did some stupid shit. As usual, typical Sasuke."

"Oh, no, honey, don't do that. Don't shoot yourself down like that. I'm pretty sure it wasn't your fault." She argues gently.

I laugh. Clearly, she didn't know the whole story.

"Sakura, please, it was. I know you're trying to be a good friend in making me believe a lie. Seriously, I fucked up pretty bad." I sigh and push my hair back and suddenly realize I'm sweating. The warmer is on WAY too high. I click it to a lower setting and rest my forehead against the cold windowpane. It feels refreshing. I swallow and ready myself for telling my side of the story, which, no doubt, would make Sakura hate me for. I wasn't going to tell her about Naruto. I was going to keep his name anonymous in all of this. "Okay, I'm going to let you be the judge of my shit situation. You'll probably criticize me for it, though." Sakura scoffs. "So, Pein and I were having a great time in our relationship for those few months. I thought we were pretty well off. Well... here, I thought we were. Sakura, did I if I ever tell you about this guy I dated before Pein...?"

"...I'm not sure. Maybe. It's been a while since we last spoke about anything in our lives..."

"Well, we have a history. A LONG history in which we're on and off about our relationship - it's complicated. I say I don't like him. Sometimes I don't even know whether I do or don't - I always end up going back to him. To sum it all up, I messed around with him. And it just turned into this big mess..." I stop myself. If I reveal anymore of this 'guy' getting beat to a pulp and ending up in the hospital, Sakura will crack the code and hate me. Though, I doubt she would make much of the last sentence, but perhaps she would refer to it as my situation. "So, yeah. What do you think? Is it my fault?" Obviously, it was, but I just wanted to hear her say that it was.

Now, knowing Sakura, she didn't bullshit when it came to being honest. So, there was no doubt about it that she would agree wholeheartedly about my idiotic mess. Besides, she knew a few people that were once in the same situation I was and she openly criticized them for it. She would do the same to me and she probably wouldn't think of me the same way, as her innocent best friend. The best friend who never dared once to cheat on someone, dooming the relationship. Yet, here I was, condemning my hypocritical self.

I hear her sigh and mutter a soft 'wow'.

"I never would have thought you'd turn out to be the kind of person to... well, uh -"

"Cheat?"

"...Yeah. It's not like you. You're so sweet." If she only knew the complete story of the shitstorm I created over the past few months with Naruto - and he was getting the rough edge of the stick. "I mean, I understand your motives and all - you're still kind of in love with this guy, I get it - but why...?"

I shrug and change the radio station to a different channel as the music gets a little too soft and depressing for this sort of talk. A pop song drifts in through the speakers and the ambiance lightens.

"I mean, the guy is nice. He still cares, despite me telling him not to - he never listens. I didn't break up with him because he was a dick or anything, but because I was afraid of how serious the relationship was getting, Sakura." I murmur through the receiver quietly. I think about Naruto, about our relationship then and now, and think about all the times we've almost lost ourselves. And how easily I continued to fall for him. "It's scary opening up to someone and letting them know just how deep of a shithole you're in when you're with someone you really, really like." I refused to say 'loved' - that word was too strong. It frightened me to even think about it too much. Clearly, Sakura understood the predicament I put myself in, right? I wasn't the only one in the world who had difficulty expressing strong emotions sometimes. Much less, talking about them too much, even with my best friend. "But I'm sure this story wasn't what you called for. Hanging out. That's what you called for, right? Let's hang out."

And, while it was what she had called for, she wasn't going to feel too good about asking to hang out as a third wheel in learning this new batch of information now. And, of course, Sakura wasn't just going to change the subject when learning something like this - she would want to know every single, little detail of went on in my life. I'm pretty sure she felt bad just finding out now about my breakup, so I was also sure she was going to continue pressing about the subject or something else in particular about my life.

"...Now I don't feel so confident in asking you to hang out with us. I don't want you to feel left out..." See? Sakura wasn't about to let me go through this alone. And just when she started dating this new guy I was sure she wanted to show off and introduce to me. "I honestly thought it was going great for the both of you. You both looked so happy."

I shrug yet again.

"Sometimes there are deeper things bubbling beneath the surface, Sakura." I say and drag my finger across my perspired windowpane, swirling random images for onlookers to see. "But that doesn't mean we can't hang out. I wouldn't mind it just being the three of us. Even if, you know, it'll be you with your boyfriend, and me all by myself."

"No, it'll be awkward, Sasuke. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be comfortable just the three of us. See, that's why I called you - so we could all hang out together and be all lovey-dovey with our boyfriends."

"...All together? At once? Just, like, one big group orgy-date-thing?" I joke.

Sakura snorts.

"That's gross, Sasuke."

"Yet it's what you wanted."

"Haha, very funny. You're hilarious." She mutters sarcastically. Then she groans. "Why did you have to break up with your boyfriend, Sasuke? We could have been doing this group date thing every weekend!"

"It was a mutual breakup, Sakura." I remind her. "And it wasn't like I planned on it! It just happened... Break ups happen."

"No, I know that. I'm sorry. I sound so selfish. I just..." She sighs, composing herself, surely. I wait as she takes a few couple of breaths and speaks again. "It would have been nice to hang out with you and your boyfriend and me with mine. It'd be the first for us, as you've never really had a boyfriend before, you know? It would've been a special moment."

That much was true. It would've been a milestone we'd achieve in our years of friendship. I'd never had a boyfriend when I was fat. One was never deemed attractive enough for the general population when fat. Not that it mattered much to me, but, now that I thought about it, it was a pretty big deal.

It was always Sakura who had boyfriends, Sakura who always invited me to tag along with her on her dates, so I wouldn't be alone at home with nothing to do. It was better being the third wheel than to be forgotten, I always thought. But it was never fun. The guys she would date would always complain to her about my tagging along and Sakura would always defend me, no matter what. But they would continuously try to disassociate themselves from me and into a secluded corner for a few private moments. I usually let them have that as I knew how annoying it must have been with me as a tag-along.

"Sasuke, okay, I know this mighty sound pretty selfish of me, considering you only just recently broke up with your boyfriend and all, but... Could I - maybe - set you up with someone? You don't have to -" I wasn't even going to let her finish that sentence.

Just the request made my blood boil. Why did everyone think they needed someone to complete their lives? I didn't. I was perfectly fine being by myself - I did alright when I was fat for all those years. I would do fine now that I was thin.

"No way. I'm off of relationships for a while." I snap at her, almost reflexively. As if I was lashing out at her for all those people telling me I made a mistake in breaking up with Pein - how was I going to cope going out to places alone now? It made me so angry just thinking about it, but not at her. "I'm sorry, Sakura. Look, I know you want this moment to happen, but maybe it doesn't have to happen today. Maybe you could wait until I'm actually in a serious relationship and ask me to hang out then. For now, I just want to enjoy the life I'm living now. You know... Single?"

"Okay, fine, but can I still set you up?" I ready myself to groan. Sakura stops me. "Hold on, hold on. Not like a date, but more as a friend setting up another friend - just so you can have somebody to talk to when it gets a little too... uh, personal." She meant her and her boy toy going off into a secluded corner to make out. As if I couldn't crack the code. "You'll just talk and find common interest amongst yourselves. Just so you won't feel weird, or that it's like a date."

"Still sounds like an early premise of a date to me."

"But it's not! I promise. If it suddenly feels like it, I give you permission to pinch me. Is that okay with you?"

"...It does sound tempting. But..." I sigh. I knew there was no way I was going to stop her from asking continuously. She was going to continue to ask until I cracked. Knowing me, I would, especially with her. I didn't like to disappoint. "Okay, fine, but -" She squeals. "You have to let him know beforehand that it's not a date. Got it? I don't want to be the one to tell him."

"No, yes, yes, I'll tell him! I have the perfect guy for you. I mean, to be friends with. You know? Or maybe something more along the road...?" I mutter a 'are you serious?' at her. She retracts the statement almost immediately. "Just kidding. Maybe not. Anyway! I'll call him, let him know of our plans and we'll set something up, then I'll let you know. Sound good?"

"Sounds marvelous." I say sarcastically.

Sakura groans.

"Oh, come on, Sasuke, you could, at least try to sound excited!"

"I think you're excited enough for the both of us. We're covered in that area." I snort and she clicks her teeth at me.

"Jerk."

"Love you, too, bitch."

"I know." Sakura preens haughtily. I laugh. "Okay, well, let me make my calls. Be ready by tonight. We'll swing by to pick you up. Okie dokie artichokie?"

"Okie dokie." I confirm. "See you later, then."

"Later."

And the call ends. And, while Sakura promised setting me up with her friend - just as a friend - I couldn't help myself in being nervous. Of course, nothing was going to happen between me and this guy - we were just going to be on friendly terms for the remainder of the evening, and that would be it. Nothing else was going to come of it.

So, why was my heart beating so fast? It wasn't like I was going on a date-date. It was just two strangers meeting for the first time and finding common interests between each other. Just to pass the time in the date that our friends were going on. But it would have the same feel as a date and that's what worried me. I didn't want to give off the wrong impression and lead this guy on. Of course, I don't know how I could possibly do such a thing - nothing I really do is interesting. Though, I suppose it won't matter much anyway as it's not a main concern for tonight.

Here's to hoping.

* * *

><p>Sakura calls thirty minutes before eight to let me know the 'friend date' is on and rushes me to get ready. No lie, I had actually forgotten about our hang out as soon as I got home.<p>

Here's how it went.

I arrived home at around three or so, binged on cartoons while stuffing my face with Cheetos, caught up on some much needed studying, and lost a very thorough battle of fighting through falling asleep. Took a nap for a good hour and a half, I believe. Then struggled in opening my eyes long enough to make the trip to the bathroom for a quick shower. Slept through part of that, too, I think. Watched some more cartoons for an hour and a half.

And now I sit on my bed, in my bedroom, and I'm freaking the fuck out. I dig deep through the crevices of my brain, trying to figure out how I could get out of this one. I really, really didn't want to go. And, even though I try and try to find loopholes in this situation, my brain refuses to provide me with a solution and has failed me every way possible as my moral being prohibits my lying. Maybe because my brain and I knew that Sakura was going to see right through me - she was the only one who could tell when I was and wasn't telling the truth. She was going to push and push me to go with her on this thing; she's not one to budge so easily. I knew her well.

Now, I know she said that this thing wasn't a date - I call it a thing because I really don't know what to call it - but I can't shake the feeling that she's trying to set me up anyway. Why would she do that, one wonders.

It's Sakura.

Whenever she broke up with someone or someone broke up with her, she would struggle to be alone. She didn't like being alone - she was a social person. She needed someone beside her to keep her sane and socialized. So, the need to date again immediately after a breakup was her strange way of coping with it. She didn't mind when others broke up or were broken up with their significant others, Sakura figured these people needed an immediate rebound relationship as a means of coping with the old one. While her heart was in a good place - as she didn't want anyone to be or feel alone - others might mistake it for being nosy.

I mean, I don't mind that she has such a big heart in order to think of other before herself, especially when in situations such as this one. She's my best friend - there have been a few incidents as this one. Which is why I'm freaking out. Some of the friends that she's set up were merely introduced as friends first - in the same exact situation I was in - and they ended up together for the remainder of their high school years. One example of Sakura's matchmaking skills of a success story is Ino and Shikamaru's relationship. They've been together since forever. All because of Sakura.

Now, while the idea of being with someone for so long might exhaust me, I'm more frightened of the fact that something more could come of this 'friend' thing. Don't get me wrong, I would love the idea of being with someone again. I don't like being alone for too long either - I start to get all whiny and depressing, which, of course, is not appealing at all - but I'm a mess right now. I don't think I could even handle a relationship right now. My heart and my head are at completely different places. For one, I'm still torn about my feelings for Naruto - and a part of me wants Pein back. But I don't think I'd want to jeopardize any part of my life anymore when I knew the situation was more than problematic. This was a colossal obstacle that I'd have to suffer through for a couple of months. In fact, I wasn't even sure what I wanted right now.

What I did want, however, was not to go on this thing. But it was much too late for that.

I could see Sakura's car pulling in my driveway. There was someone in the passenger seat and someone sitting in the backseat. Immediately, my heart pounds and my palms start sweating. I wipe them against my jeans. I stand from my bed and start to head out of my bedroom. I pass by my mirror and catch a brief glimpse of myself. For a moment, I see old, fat Sasuke peeking out deep within the now unfamiliar-looking Sasuke. I walk towards my reflection and the old me slowly disappears and is replaced with the regular me once more.

And I start to feel self-conscious. Underneath my clothes, I feel slivers of my flabby skin peeking through. My crippling self-esteem body issues are on the border of making their appearance once more.

It had been months since I last thought the way I did and I briefly wondered just how deep this all went. I mean, I knew I was self-conscious before, but I never thought about the negatives of myself for too long. It made me too depressed back then. Sometimes it still did. Sometimes I still believed I was the fat Sasuke I expected to reflect in the mirror.

I lift the side of my shirt and fading stretch marks are the first thing to come into view. I run my fingers over the winding bumps and an urge to scratch at them ignites within. To scratch at their visibility until they're no longer lingering on my body. But I don't. These are clear reminders of the hard work and dedication I had to go through in order to get where I was in life. Battle scars, if one could call them that, as they felt like such. Much of this fighting included that of my fears and anxieties. Which was that of meeting people.

When I was fat, I dreaded meeting new people. Mostly because I feared they thought of me as someone who was just going to keep them from going places - they would be too embarrassed to be seen with me, anyway, I constantly told myself. So, whenever these people asked me to hang out, I would decline their invitations. Because I always wondered what they saw was fun in hanging out with a wheezing, heaving fat kid? What did they really think of me? What was their purpose in hanging out with me? Did they need someone like me to fortify their own crippling self-esteem issues into positive feelings?

I pull my shirt back down and take one strong look at myself in the mirror. I try to see past the past and focus on the now instead. I was healthier and I had a better grasp on my social awkwardness and anxieties. Meeting new people was a good thing - it wasn't all bad, except for the occasional awkward silences that were sure to follow in the course of the evening. I was going to be fine and this was going to be a good night. I was going to have fun with Sakura and her boyfriend and with this new person I was going to meet. And I was sure as hell that I wasn't going to think too much into this whole thing, despite the nagging in the back of my mind of the suspicion of this setup.

I start to head downstairs just as I hear the doorbell ring. A blur rushes past me and a flurry of black hair whips in my face. I halt in my steps for fear of tripping and notice Itachi at the door, flustered. I choke out a laugh as he nearly slips on the hardwood floor, only barely crashing into the front door. He throws a glare at me over his shoulder, cheeks flustered ever so slightly. I snort. But his attention is diverted from me once more by the doorbell ringing. And, no doubt, by the presence of Sakura waiting behind the door.

Now, mind you, Itachi is someone I know very much not to accommodate himself with someone so easily. It takes him a couple of months to warm up to someone. Especially with Sakura, who I knew since a long, long time ago. Even then, it was difficult for him to befriend her, mostly of his own accord. But I can't even remember a time when he didn't treat her like a stranger. As far as I knew him from back then, his attraction for Sakura was all I could remember. It was strange how easily she could affect him and how she could have absolutely no idea about it. He wasn't subtle about his affections - he made it pretty obvious. Maybe, to himself, it didn't seem that way, but, to the rest of the world, it was a clear picture.

Before he opens the door, I watch Itachi smooth out his clothes and run his fingers through his hair, deeming himself presentable for my best friend. Then he yanks open the door and is greeted with the presence of three people. Sakura, her boyfriend, and my 'non-date' type 'friend' of whatever.

Mind you, while I understand this thing isn't a date and all - just a friendly meeting - I can't help but be disappointed by the looks of one of these boys. Bushy eyebrows are the first thing I notice - his round, wide eyes come a close second. Then his hair - such a god-awful haircut. Honestly, who cuts their hair in the shape of an upside-down bowl? If anything, this guy looked as though he had come out straight from the seventies with that haircut.

I'm sure I wasn't a looker, either, but it was hard not to notice just how... strong his looks were. I honestly don't mean to sound shallow, though it was difficult not to be. I struggle to shake the negatives from my head, scolding myself.

And, just as I'm about to get a better look of the second guy, Sakura leaps forward, towards me, squealing, just barely missing Itachi's jaw. She apologizes to my brother, her knuckles touching briefly against the side of his jaw as she squeezes her face against mine. He merely shakes his head, waving her away as he chuckled nervously whilst touching at the spot where her fingers were. I give him an all-knowing look and he flusters, cheeks burning. He opts to usher in the boys, head down, and scampers away before anyone else noticed he was gone.

Sakura plants her lips against my cheek, kissing one side, then the other, over and over again. She giggles.

"Hi, Sasuke, baby." She coos.

I laugh.

"Hey, blossom." I kiss her back with just as much fervor, laughing. "How's the college life?"

"Well, it was hectic at first, what with the gigantic homework piles towering over my head and the struggle to keep awake in class and have a social life all at once." She sighs, taking a deep breath. "But now that it's our Thanksgiving break? Oh, it's only so much better now. At least, now that I've got some time to recoup." She replies.

Then she grins a big toothy grin and giggles and looks over her shoulder, pulling the guy with bushy eyebrows forward. Immediately, she grasps both her hands with his cradles them at her chest. She leans her head on his shoulder and he merely smiles at me while she gives him a small nudge.

He sticks his hand forward. I take it instinctively, shaking it.

"Hi, I'm Rock Lee. The 'boy toy'." He chuckles, looking down at her. She smiles sheepishly at him, then at me, face all aglow. And I'm relieved, mostly because of the obvious, but also because what a change in Sakura's dating patterns.

I was so used to her mostly dating gorgeous guys who were more into themselves than into her. Which was one of the reasons as to why she continuously dated without any alone time for herself, to make up for all those lost affections wasted on her. But it was nice to see had found someone who made her feel happy and wanted. While there was a strange contrast in their pairing, they seemed to fit perfectly with each other - they complimented each other's everything. It made me happy knowing Sakura was happy.

"Oh! How rude of us!" Sakura immediately cries out, looking over her shoulder at the boy standing behind them awkwardly. She yanks him forward and he almost crashes into the lot of us. He looms over us, waving slightly my way. I wave back awkwardly. Sakura pats his arm gently. "Sasuke, Shino. Shino, Sasuke. I'm sure you two will get along greatly." She winks at me in a way she believes it to be discreet, but Shino notices and chuckles. We all do, in fact. And I can feel my face burning as I shake my head.

We shake hands as Sakura squeals about nonsensical things to her boyfriend. Then, before I know it, we're heading to the car and into an evening of what I hoped would be normal. But now I wasn't so sure it was going to be. Shino was kind of... cute.

He had a crooked smile and chocolate brown eyes I could see myself drowning - no, wait, bathing - in. He wore an elastic headband to push back his dark brown hair from falling into his face as it was somewhat long. He wore Converse shoes and an oversized teal-colored jacket probably two sizes bigger than intended. But it didn't look bad on him - he could pull this strange look off.

As we're approaching the car, we trail behind Sakura and her boyfriend in a painfully awkward silence. I'd like to say something as I can't stand the silence like this. Yet no words seem to form on my lips as easily as they pour out of Sakura in such an unbelievable speed. Both Shino and I look at each other. Awkward smiles ensue. And then I think to myself, 'Who would ever find themselves in a situation like this?' This was not a normal, everyday situation where a friend set up another friend to meet a new friend. Well, maybe it was, but it was a rare thing to come around to. And how would someone find a way to get through the awkwardness of it all? I was pretty awkward in social situations, so I doubted this was something I could push through.

We pour into the car as Rock Lee starts the engine and girly music explodes from the speakers. We all flinch at the decibel the sound produces. Rock Lee apologizes as he turns the music down to a respectable level, cheeks a flushed pink. We laugh and shrug.

And then it's suddenly quiet in the car - save for the girly music still going on in the background - at least, I think it is. I feel self-conscious. I felt like I needed to have an input on anything remotely interesting during this moment as it would mask the sheer awkwardness of the situation I felt we were in. The guy - Shino - was looking out the window, out into the darkening sky, looking deep into the blurring trees. I wondered what he was thinking about.

Did he think this meeting of ours was ridiculous? Did he even want to be here? I know I didn't. It wasn't just because it was awkward - although, that was a viable problem conflicting with me at the moment - but because it was mostly forced. While I understand that Sakura had good intentions in bringing friends from different social circles together, I just thought that the whole idea of it probably wasn't for the best. I understand she would have liked to arrange a double date on her own terms - so she chose the next best thing to a double date. Which only made it all the more awkward. I mean, I knew that this wasn't a date, but it felt like a cheap setup disguised as the meeting of new friends. And I wasn't up for it. To be honest, I wasn't up for most of anything since my breakup with Pein.

Sure, it was a mutual agreement in breaking up, but it was mostly for Pein's benefit. I did something really shitty that he didn't deserve. He was my boyfriend and I didn't treat him like one when I continuously went running back into Naruto's arms whenever I saw an opening - why would anyone want to continue a relationship as such, given the circumstances? It made sense that we broke up. And, although, there was some sort of weak-willed promise we kept about the after effects of our breakup making it awkward for us and anyone near us.

At first, it was fine. We talked every now and then a month ago, right after we broke up, letting each other know what's been going on in our lives, but, even then, I'm sure we both knew this wasn't going to last. The more we hung out, the more awkward it got. Pein was distancing himself from me more than I was. I still fought to keep the friendship going. Our conversations shortened to simple 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' when passing each other in the hallway. Then that shortened to half-hearted waves - that is, if we noticed each other when we did it, otherwise we'd be left ignored. Which, eventually, it came to that.

Now, whenever we passed, we struggled the urge to glance each other's way. At least, I did. I know it probably wasn't the best thing to do since we broke up, but I couldn't help it - I still wanted to be friends with Pein. We were such good friends; how could that stop so suddenly? Even mutual friends that we had gained during our relationship chose sides - some favored Pein over me. Most of our "friends" sided with Pein and they threw me dirty looks whenever I passed. The truth spread quickly in the cause of our breakup and it blew up out of proportions, causing new rumors to spread about my fidelity.

I'd heard rumors about me messing around with every guy I ever came across during my relationship with Pein. And that I caused Tayuya's breakup - some claiming they were witnesses in that I came onto her boyfriend several times during their relationship. Of course, Tayuya didn't believe the rumors as it was clear enough that such ridiculousness wasn't the reason that led to their breakup; she clarified it was mostly personal.

I don't know what gossip really did to people underneath, but it was nasty to watch people exaggerate stories into even more serious offenses when someone like me was in the spotlight. I didn't want it to come to that again in so little time, especially now if Sakura was setting me up in meeting with someone. Just as friends, of course, but one never knew how so much could go wrong in misunderstanding the situation. Movies taught me that much, as funny as it sounds.

"So... How long have you and Sakura been friends?"

I look up to the foreign speaking of words breaking through the silence. The chocolate-eyed, dark-haired boy looks at me, waiting for an answer. I'm stunned. Mostly because his voice is gentle, almost quiet. In my whole life, I don't think I've ever heard someone speak quite so quietly before. Except for maybe Hinata, but I'm not sure she counts what with her new attitude.

"Um, since we were kids." Wow, my voice sounds horrible compared to the decibel of his. "We're pretty close."

"Close enough to set you up with a complete stranger?" He chuckles.

'Set up'. He was making it sound like a date, but I didn't think I had the guts to tell him right here and now in the car - it was too quiet, especially for our conversation.

"Well, I'm sure Sakura has pretty good judgement of your character. So, I trust her." I wasn't so sure if I did anymore, if she didn't fill this guy in on the grounds of this so-called 'not date'. "How did she get you to agree to doing this on such short notice?"

He shrugs, now turning half of his body slightly towards me.

"Sakura can be very persuasive sometimes. Besides, I owe her. She helped me pass my midterm -" He lowers his voice now. "Have you ever studied with her?"

I nod, a sort of chuckle building up in my throat. Because I knew how Sakura was when she helped a good friend out - especially when it involved studies - she was a real hardass. She kept her focus for a good amount of time until said good friend involved in her tutoring understood at least one bit of information she presented.

She was determined and had faith that she could teach anyone with her strict methods of tutorage. It was her way of teaching that made certain others believe they were under the exercise regime of P90X; it was THAT intense. On your ass, day and night, throwing questions from flash cards at you whenever possible during the day, sometimes even starting her conversations with the subject you were studying for. I mean, I loved Sakura and all, but whenever I asked her to help me study, I wanted to strangle her studious ass. I felt his struggle, especially if he felt the need of owing her when Sakura made his life hell during midterms - no doubt about it - but, when standing out of the situation as such as that one, I couldn't help the need to laugh.

"Yeah, Sakura is kind of... There's something about teaching someone else that just makes her a little more 'passionate' than most tutors." I laugh, softly, so as not to bring attention. He smiles.

"Well, it helped. I passed with a B. Not good enough for Sakura, apparently, but good enough for a straight C student. Made my parents proud." He leans away and the silence returns for a brief moment - save for Sakura and Rock Lee's conversation still going on in the front - until he turns back to me. "Isn't this kind of weird, though? Sakura setting us up, but... Not really 'setting us up'? This situation is a first for me."

Oh, thank God! I thought I would've had to break it down for him, but I was so relieved Sakura let him know that this wasn't going to lead anywhere romantic. At least, for the time being. Not that I really wanted anything to happen, but having the distant option to was nice.

"Yeah, I was debating on whether to come or not. I was about to call Sakura to cancel - meeting new people makes me nervous. Especially if it's on friendly terms; the pressure is still on." I reply, almost hesitantly.

"Right? It's just... It's some experience meeting new people." That much was true.

All I wanted today was a normal day where two people could talk as normally as they could without even so much as a second thought about it. Ever since my breakup with Pein, a normal day was always lacking. Whether it was another question of the deterioration of our relationship, that of Tayuya and Kagura's fight, or the oncoming stress of my soon-to-be-born sibling rattling around in my brain, there was a dire need of mine that needed something like a casual friendship to ease my worries. I could only hope it would help. If anything, just for the day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And there ya go. For now. Haha. It's not much, but it's something, right? Hopefully I get the next chapter out sooner - sooner than a month or so; be on the lookout!

Until then - peace!


End file.
